A BPYT'S LIFE

DIAMOND DATING STANDARDS IN A CUBIC ZIRCONIA WORLD

2009-11-14T01:42:00.001-08:00

Dear Men,

Let me explain some things too you because some where along the line you have gotten it twisted and you think its cool to be chumps. The current climate of dating is dog shit, no one is dating, or courting anymore you're not even trying to pronounce my name right before you sending me your dick through the mail and I know these basic bitches are just happy to have a warm male body to latch onto but look a woman with standards and requirements don't just go for any ole bullshit which is what you fellas are coming with these days. So since I keep encountering the same shit over and over how about I break somethings down to you that you should stop doing if you ever want to dip your penis is a woman of quality!

1. Stop whining like a little bitch and stomping off and running away when you are faced with a little opposition and adversity. Anything worth having you have to work for it doesn't just fall in your lap and if it does then be aware because obviously it's something wrong with it.

2. You WILL AND SHOULD have to put in work to earn my affection, time, and effort! There is no easy way to circumvent this rule it is what it is, if you want me to even be seriously considering you in my life then you have to put in the work! That means I need attention to be paid to me, I need consistency, I need you to be honest, and above all I need you to state your real intentions upfront. Bullshit will get you no where but laughed at and discussed when talking to my home girls!

3. I do expect some kind of dating to go on, if you have budget restraints then you need to be hella creative and that has nothing to do with your penis whatsoever! I shouldn't have to come up with the date and then implement it especially when you call yourself pursuing me!

4. I really don't respect men who send me their penis digitally. Once you do that I really lose all my respect for you and p.s. I pass that shit around to the home girls every damn time so...you have been forewarned.

5. Being crazy is not the best way to get me to like you, being overly sensitive and shit will make me think you have emotional issues, and being extra clingy will also have that effect as well. Bottom line you need to be emotionally stable if you not then you should really be alone!

6. I expect for you to be a gentleman, meaning I want some of that old school treatment, treat me like a woman and allow me to treat you like a man. Come to the door with something in your hand not just your hat, actually get out the car and come to the door, open the car door, pull out chairs, open building doors, walk on the outside of me when we on the sidewalk, pay for shit when we go out at least the first time if you treat me like a lady that allows me the option of wanting to actually treat you before you fellas start thinking you will always have to pay. Because quite frankly you don't always have to pay sometimes I might want to just take you out but because I want too and think you're worthy just like you think I'm worthy of being taken out that goes in the other direction as well.

7. If you can't afford to date then don't period.

8. If you act like a king then you can get royal treatment, verses acting like a basic ass chump which will get you no damn where.

9. As a rule I hate phone sex don't ask for it, don't expect it.

10. Time is of the essence I'm in my 30's there are things that I want that if you're not even trying to pursue then we aren't going to work out. I don't like wasting my time on idle pursuits. I even tried dealing with men that I had absolutely no interest in and knew there could be no future with in efforts just to get circulating and get the dating juices flowing but it was an epic and utter fail and a big waste of time. I hate wasting time I do enough of that on my own I don't need you to help me waste my time.

11. 0+0=0 in other words nothing from nothing leaves nothing! If you don't even have a drivers license, no ambition, content to be on general relief, s.s.i., section 8, medi-cade, medi-cal, IEHP, food stamps, welfare, all your life and do enough just to show your social worker you trying so they won't cut your benefits off we don't have nothing to discuss. We really don't I know I don't have what I need to have at my age but I have never been on any social programs and if you're a grown ass man on that shit and you think you getting over we have nothing to discuss what so ever. Please don't even try and set your attention in my direction.

12. You got more than one baby momma, look I have no kids and as a person without kids who would like to have some, some day (Lord willing) I really don't want to be with a dude who has already had his share of kids and he's already finished. That shit is unfair on both sides. I can't help if you already started having kids with various women and now you done, that's on you not me. If you would have invested in condoms and been wiser about procreating then you wouldn't have that problem and I wouldn't have to shut you down before you even got in good yet.

13. Ambition, intelligence, creativity, culture, new experiences, these are some qualities that every man worth his salt should have. Take me out and expose me to new things, lets go to the museums, plays, musicals, ballets, opera's, concerts, street fairs, farmers markets, cultural fairs, lets discover new things to do in the city, be involved in your community.

14. Please don't ask me anything sexual in our first 5 conversations, matter of fact why we even gotta discuss sex before we even know if we want to deal with each other on a personal level. Why does the conversation always have to immediately go in the direction of sex, why we gotta discuss oral, and favorite positions, and past experiences, why I gotta stress that I'm celibate and then once you hear that you start talking about how great your dick game is, look dick is a dime a dozen, Its about quality in all aspects not just the damn penis. But again basic dudes not trying to build long term you just want to beat and skeet and then keep it moving. I'm cool off that plan.

15. Men/boys that require multiple do overs look if I have been kind enough to give you more than one chance and you have dropped the ball on every chance then you're in the fringe zone one of those dudes that stay on the fringe that I don't take serious because you never got your shit together concerning your intentions with me, so enjoy the fringe because that's where you'll be always.

16. You must have self confidence in yourself if you don't like yourself how am I supposed to like you? What is there to be attracted too if you always down on yourself? That is a huge turn off HUGE.

17. I am not bougie, I am not a gold digger, but do I like nice things? Yes. Do I expect for you to be able to do the things I am accustomed to doing and be able to do that times 2, yes. Let me explain, If I can get it for myself then you should be able to get it as well with a little bit extra. So If I am able to go to cheesecake factory and spend 50 dollars then if we go like on a date you should be capable of doing that and more. If I can go to M.A.C. and buy a lipglass, a lip liner, and an eyeshadow, you should be able to buy that plus a couple of brushes, and a make-up bag. These are examples I'm not demanding these things but YOU should be able to do them. I am at a certain level, I do certain things I am not going backwards. I wouldn't ask a male that is accustomed to wearing Issey Miyake to start wearing axe body spray that's backwards. If a male is accustomed to eating at Ruth Chris steak house I wouldn't expect for him to dine at Denny's that's going backwards. Do you see where I'm going with this? Men please stop thinking that because women are used to certain things that she is a gold digger. That's a break dudes way of being cheap always talking about she after your paper, negro please you have to have some paper to be after first! Dating is a pricey activity in order for me to even want to spend time with you I have to be seriously interested in you, so that should be taken into consideration when you ask any woman out.

18. If you're a grown ass man above the age of 30 I should never ever ever see your draws. If you're wearing tennis shoes they shouldn't be dirty, dingy, and disgusting. Your should put your best foot forward because when I step out with you I am going to bring my A game YOU should do the same. It's embarrassing stepping out with a dude who looks like he just stepped off the set of a rap video but you was the break ass extra. That's not haute boo, not at all.

19. Stop lying about your financial situation the truth will always come to light and you will be embarrassed especially when you trying to scramble and save face. I won't say anything unless its warranted but I will notice it. Especially if I have to bail you out because you tried to play big bank hank it will quickly become an issue which will lead to the date ending shortly after.

20. I don't kiss everyone kissing like everything else has to be earned. You have to have been just a mind blowing type dude to earn a kiss. Kissing is an art form a rare one that people don't practice anymore. It is also a very intimate act one that I don't take lightly. If I'm just this way about kissing then you can imagine my rules and principals on sex and sexual activities.

I know that in this day and age it is very rare to find someone who knows how to date properly who even wants to spend time actually getting to know a person before they are trying to bed you but you fellas aren't even finessing it anymore you're very crass, rude and just uncouth. Why would I take any of you seriously when you act like such clowns and chumps? Why do I have to train you in the way you should treat a women? Don't you have mothers and sisters? Where are your manners? Understand me when I say that I'm not after any ones money. Integrity, ingenuity, intelligence, sincerity, and attitude go a long way to cover what is lacking in your pockets. But when you are an ignorant chump with no class there is no way to even cover up nor make up for the basic personality traits you are lacking. I am willing to work with a dude that has potential to actually be something not just a dude that stops at potential. Its a lot of men walking around with nothing but just potential and it never manifest into anything more than that.

I know if you reading this you like damn she got a lot of requirements and that's why she single now, you're right I have a lot or requirements, I have standards, I have things that I want a potential suitor to have. There is a certain way I want men in pursuit of me to act. I am past the age of playing around its either you will or you won't at this phase of the game. I'm playing for keeps not just playing to play so the stakes are higher and the pot is bigger.

I know you sitting there thinking damn is she even worth all this trouble and what dude is going to follow these rules and stipulations she putting forth when a dude can just simply go mess with the chicken head down the block who will let him treat her any old kind of way but there has to be a small fraction of men out there that are searching hungering for quality I am banking on those men its a long shot but nothing ventured nothing gained right? These shouldn't just be my personal standards alone this should be the universal women of worth standards. I am a diamond in the rough that is willing to work with a male diamond in the rough we can become full fledged diamonds together however I am over dealing with plain ole regular dirt rocks pretending to be lumps of coal! If you want to deal with me this is what you have to contend with. You have a choice we all have choices its about making wise choices from here on out and that ladies and gents is what I'm about 100%. So farewell chumps of the world I am no longer entertaining you and letting you waste my time. It will soon be a new year and I'm off the old and already on that 2010 so catch up and get right or get left!

2HR SEASON FINALE OF LINCOLN HEIGHTS

2009-11-10T13:13:00.000-08:00

So another season of Lincoln Heights has ended and if you aren't a watcher of that fantastic show shame on you. It's definitely a sleeper show with a multi-ethnic cast and swirl love so if you are a big fan of all of that then this is the show for you.

The show has been on for 4yrs and not many people know about it so I will post the two episode season finale for this season here so you can watch it. Currently the 4th season is on hulu but it will not be there long so if you want to try and catch the remaining episodes they have up for this current 4th season run over to hulu and watch it, its free!

TIRED OF K.F.C.'S; KENTUCY FRIED CHUMPS

2009-11-09T09:56:00.001-08:00

If you haven't guessed by now then you ought to know that dating(for lack of a better term) in southern California is like kicking yourself in the ass repeatedly with some soccer cleats. But it might just be me because I am a bit old fashioned when it comes to my approach and thing concerning men and anything relationship wise. I am simply tired of clowns in men suits shit is ridiculous the art of dating and courtship has been killed and replaced with utter bullshit. I really can't get with the bullshit that passes for male and female interaction these days. Its pure unadulterated bullshit painted in modern justifiability and passed off as the hauteness. Females have lowered their standards so much so that a chicken dinner, or super-sizing it will more than likely get a fella some ass and head. You don't even have to pronounce the chicks name right and you can still get some ass in this day and age. Its sad and its getting worst because no one is teaching young dudes in this day and age how to treat a woman, and no daddies around to teach their daughters how to be treated and respected by males. It's anything goes in these streets, parents are dropping the ball left and right when it comes to telling their daughters and sons how to treat each other because a lot of the adults don't know how to treat each other and they haven't figured it out for themselves shit is sad and disheartening.

So when a dude comes across a female that has requirements and standards he goes into shock. He's intrigued for a minute but when he finds out that he has to actually invest time, interest, resources and get to actually know her well enough to go out with her then he quickly drops the pursuit of said chick and moves on to the next much easier target. I don't know if in other states its like this but in Cali it most definitely is. Plus add to the fact that the main dudes in Cali either fall into four major groups.

Group 1: Upper middle class which means they are making decent money, they have a degree, they either drive a Benz, Lexus, or a Bentley, they shop at the Beverly center and they either live in the valley, weho, or ladera heights, but does not even date black women not at all, or if he does she has to be petite fairs-skinned, long hair, and as unblack acting as possible. But most likely they stick to Caucasian, Asian, and Hispanic women period no exceptions. They usually are the men who frown or look at "common" black women as ghetto trash who they say are, loud, overweight, and domineering. The funny and sad part is these very same men WILL and HAVE married women fresh out the trailer parks, and even very obese and unattractive white women but these very men have no problem upgrading these women but for a black women in the same situation he is very turned off condescending and callous makes you wonder about the psychosis of this very same man.

Group 2: Gay, down low, hood-down low dudes this group should be self explanatory.

Group 3: men with emotional baggage one chick hurt them one time and now they don't trust any women. They quick to flip out on you emotionally over nothing. Little grown boys dudes who think they got it going on but they haven't a clue how to treat a women not even the essentials. But they usually got more than one kid and multiple baby mommas but have trouble maintaining a long term relationship. The word commitment freaks them out and they have nothing to show for their existence except an xbox 360, some Jordan's, and a car with a stereo system and rims on it in his momma name.

Group 4: the rest of the men, they want a quick lay. They want you to send them naked, or "tease" pictures digitally they want you to phone sex them and all this shit within the first meeting of them. They try and convince you that they have the dick of life and when you shut their asses down they then become what I call fringe dudes, they wait around on the edges and every blue moon they speak/contact you/call/email or see you in the street and they show interest enough again to find out if your standards and requirements have lowered or weakened so they can then try and get what they wanted in the first place which is ass and when you still the same they fall back to the edges and will show up again when they single its what they do.

People often espouse don't look for love, okay but let me tell you people something I don't think there is a way to look for love, love is an emotion one that can be faked the most you can do is seek out or try and find what you deem is a quality person to be in your world or you can be passive and just let whatever is interested in you come your way. Now when you go the passive route you will get any and everything I know because I never ever approach men so what I end up with is chump city. Men who are just raggedy, shamelessly tired and trifling. Since these men are already down and out anything they get is a bonus and they have nothing to lose because they had absolutely nothing in the first place. Now with that being said there has to be a middle ground, I don't think being proactive in your romantic endeavors makes you desperate it makes you forward thinking and efficient. If you sit around and wait for love then it may never find you, and since men aren't really about love these days it would behoove you to ask the pertinent questions and then move on if said person is not what you may be seeking. That way you don't waste your time stepping out with a kentucky fried chump who just wants to go to burger hut and then slide between your sheets beat, skeet, and then delete you.

I am so tired of the men in southern cali beyond tired actually. Just once I wish I could meet a guy that was about business, and we clicked on all levels. Versus all these hit and misses I always encounter. I understand we are in hard times but if you absolutely don't have the money to date then you need to state that from the beginning and let the person you digging see if they are willing to work with you. Don't just assume that the person you going out with even likes you well enough to want to even do that with you. Because in order for a person to spend time with you then they have to be genuinely interested and not just wanting to simply go out just to be going out there is a difference!

Ladies word of advice raise your standards, stop settling for kentucky fried chumps, stop hopping in the bed with these niggas cause they got slick talk, and stop just taking bullshit. Make him work for it, he should be doing basic gentlemanly things, opening all doors car included, he should pay for the first dinner at a nice place applebee's and chili's does not count, he should come see you dressed decently if his drawers are showing send his ass packing, his car should be washed, or if you're driving and your car is dirty he should at least offer to wash it for you or fill the tank up, check the oil, check the tire pressure, damn do something besides ride in the passenger seat. If you don't set standards then you will get anything and when you get just anything then you aren't allowed to complain!

Fellas...sigh you're a whole other post smh its way to much I need to say to y'all about this shamockery you all call dating these days smh.

I INVENTED SEX; TREY SONGZ VIDEO

2009-11-04T15:46:00.000-08:00

So It turns out that Trey Songz really did invent sex who knew....

I don't know about anyone else but ummmm this vid was sexy, sensual, and just damned delightful. I thought Songz was cute in a baby face he ain't a grown man even if he is deep stroking kind of way. But this video has changed my mind and given me a new found appreciation for Songz...got me thinking I want to try a dude who's belly button is highly visible. Leave your thoughts and comments.

FATHERS RAPING AND BEATING THEY'RE OWN CHILDREN

2009-11-03T09:58:00.000-08:00

You mean to tell me you can't look at this dude and tell his elevator don't go all the way to the top? AND you set up and let his ass reproduce as well? I blame every adult involved with this situation all y'all need to be stripped of reproduction rights, and your homes/trailers/car/pick-ups/etc should be seized and sold off and you all should be marched down the street with sticks up your asses and weights around your necks then left in the middle of a field miles from no where to die slow.

READ THE NEWS STORY HERE

First Question: If the boy only got an IQ of 59 and he was messing with a 15yr old why did her parent(s) allow it to go on? Okay her grandmother, aunt, older sister whoever is guardian over this child because clearly she is retarded as well if she laying down with a dude that's mentally retarded and she can't tell the difference then she sat up got pregnant and her people let her keep the kid, I get the welfare hustle a baby is a check and clearly someone had to get that paper so what the 15yr old took one for the team? I know that when you mentally retarded then your hormones are extra amped so who didn't give these two their pills? Who dropped the dime on this watch?

Second Question: How the fuck he get enough time to rape AND beat his daughter in a trailer full of people? I can tell by looking at the boy picture he got a mental deficiency what's the problem with everyone else and shit? Do all the people in Arkansas got a cataract? You see his momma is borderline retarded herself setting up lying on camera. She didn't look straight at the camera the whole time she was speaking.

Third Question: why the fuck isn't there some kind of law in place for the prevention of people having kids period. Yes I know that's trampling on peoples free will blah blah blah but just because you have the inner workings to reproduce doesn't mean you should do it. There needs to be some kind of preventive measures in place clearly some people can't govern themselves so everyone has to suffer. I would rather be licensed to be a parent, with a complete mental check-up, IQ test, even a health screen before giving birth. It would nip a lot of shit in the bud and children wouldn't have to suffer at the hands of people who clearly shouldn't be allowed to have children. You need a licenses to fish, to hunt, to drive a car, to even get married but any asshole who deems it so can skeet and produce a kid that shit is unbalanced. Why the fuck are animals, and even fish more protected then the very fruit of human reproduction? Clearly homo sapien's are the most fucked up and flawed creatures on the planet we do some horrible shit to each other and some of you assholes even devour your young.

There needs to be stiffer penalties for child molesters, child rapist, pedophiles and any one who harms a child, mentally, physically, sexually, emotionally. Who advocates for the children? Who speaks for them? How can we call ourselves evolved when everyday some where in the world a child is being harmed? How can we even dare wage wars when we have this kind of heinous shit going on in our very backyards? We don't even protect our children so why the fuck are we in other countries trying to tell them what to do?

I am so angry and you should be as well for every child needs protection and we as adults should protect them with our very lives but instead some sick assholes are the takers of innocence and life. For every person that harms a child the 10th gate of hell is waiting for your mortal soul and I for one think you should be sent there immediately once found guilty. No need to sit in a jail cell and take up space and taxpayers money fry their asses and send then on to hell where they belong.

MY DOG IS DEAD WELCOME TO MY PARTY

2009-10-31T20:05:00.000-07:00

Look this post will not be a happy one I'm not in a good place. I can't sugarcoat anything for your delicate emotions basically I've hit the bottom and I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired of being everything to everyone but myself and when it comes time to have someone in your corner their is no one.

I had to kill the only being that loved me unconditionally my dog. I had to make the hard decision to put him to sleep. HE was in so much pain and I didn't have the money to fix him so I had to do the humane thing and have him put down. He had maggots feasting on his insides and shit MAGGOTS... he couldn't barely stand he was so bad off. I don't think anyone understands how hard it is to make the decision to kill a pet they have had for 10yrs. It makes you understand that you truly can't have kids because if they get sick and you have no money then what? You can't kill your kids, well you shouldn't be killing your kids but assholes do it all the time.

I wish I was someone else a different me a different ethnic group, something it truly is greener on the other side because on my side its all black right now...and since I'm friendless this is where I turn to sad ain't it.

OUT OF THE MOUTH OF BABES

2009-10-31T01:37:00.000-07:00

It's a shame when this little boy has lyrics that are deep and clearly reflect a better outlook on love then any grown man singing r&b today. I know that someone had to write these lyrics for him because they just too grown and speak to a higher emotional intelligence for his age but then again he just might be on his grown man ish. Either way its sad when this little boy is blue-eyed souling while trying to bring love back by himself while the grown black men singing r&b are all just talking about fucking.

I feel like music is reflective of what's going on in the streets if all there is, is just fucking and leaving, beating, skeeting, and deleting then that's the soundtrack of the times and its sad. There is more to life then busting nuts and moving on to the next one, sigh these are some lonely ugly times we living in. So while its colder if you don't have a booski(like I don't) to keep you warm I suggest you stock up on some liquor and sleep aids to get you over those long nights when 1 is truly the loneliness number... anywho enjoy some bubblegum-pop&b maybe it will get your mind right and help you get back to love...

The lyrics to the song:

Alright let's go
There's gonna be one less lonely girl (one less lonely girl)
One less lonely girl (one less lonely girl)
There's gonna be one less lonely girl (one less lonely girl)
One less lonely girl (ha)

How many I told you’s and start overs
And shoulders have you cried on before
How many promises be honest girl
How many tears you let hit the floor
How many bags you packed
Just to take ‘em back tell me that
How many either or's but no more
If you let me inside of your world
There'll be the one less lonely girl

Ohh Oh Oh
Saw so many pretty faces before I saw you you
Now all I see is you
I'm coming for you (I'm coming for you)
Noo No
Don't need these other pretty faces like I need you
And when you’re mine in the world
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you) One less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you) One less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you)One less lonely girl
There's gonna be one less lonely girl (I'm coming for you)
I'm gonna put you first (I'm coming for you)
I'll show you what you're worth (That's what I'm gonna do)
If you let me inside your world
There’s gonna be one less lonely girl

Christmas wasn’t merry, 14th of February not one of them spent with you
How many dinner dates set dinner plates and
He didn’t even touch his food
How many torn photographs saw you taping back

Tell me that couldn’t see an open door
But no more
If you let me inside of your world
There'll be one less lonely girl

Ohh Oh Oh
Saw so many pretty faces
Before I saw you you
Now all I see is you
I'm coming for you, I'm coming for you
Noo No
Don't need these other pretty faces like I need you
And when you’re mine in this world
There’s gonna be one less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you)One less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you)One less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you)One less lonely girl
(There's gonna be) One less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you) I'm gonna put you first
(I'm coming for you) I'll show you what you’re worth
(Thats what I'm gunna do)If you let me inside of your world
There's gonna be one less lonely girl

I can fix up your broken heart
I can give you a brand new start
I can make you believe (yeah)
I just wanna set one girl free to fall,
Free to fall (she's free to fall)
Fall in love
With me

Her hearts locked and nowhere to get the key
I’ll take her and leave the world with one less lonely girl

There’s gonna be one less lonely girl (one less lonely girl)
One less lonely girl (one less lonely girl)
There’s gonna be one less lonely girl (one less lonely girl)
One less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you)One less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you) One less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you)One less lonely girl
Theres gunna be one less lonely girl (I'm coming for you)
I'm gunna put you first (I'm coming for you)
I'll show you what your worth (That's what I gotta do)
If you let me inside your world
There's gunna be one less lonely girl

Justin Bieber Lonely Girl lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/justin-bieber-lonely-girl-lyrics.html

WHERE ARE THEY NOW; THE MISSING MUSICIAN EDITION

2009-10-25T03:50:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about some of the singers that made a blip on the map and then just as quickly as they came they disappeared. You know it takes more than just having talent to sing you have to have a work ethic, plus a drive to want it, and a willingness to do it by whatever means, and let us not forget you need a management team that will saturate the market and be about getting you out there to the masses ad nauseum plus it kind of works against you when your record company folds, or your group disbands, or you simply just didn't have what it took to make a lasting musical impression, but everyone that gets a music deal will simply not go on to become music legends you have to know your product, and if you are your product then you have to know if you are long term or fly by night. Some people making music now guaranteed won't be making music still in 2012 you won't even remember them unless you come across their video on youtube if that site is even still around in 2012. The music game is a cold hard mistress and she will love and leave that ass in a heartbeat just ask any musician who has been in the trenches for awhile. People are all starry-eyed and naive when it comes to making music and those who don't have a head for business while making sure that they protect themselves while in the music biz they will get done by the music industry and they will be left bitter and broken disillusioned and angry. The music biz is paved on the backs of one hit wonders and acts that never got out of the starting block.

Lets go through some of the people that the music biz has left behind in its tracks:

Dear Monifah where are you? Have you found the Lord, did you get married and push out babies? Where did you go come back home we miss you!

Dear Gina Thompson are you some where selling ass? Cracked out? Bitter and trying to stab puff pastry in the club if you see him? What you should do is stand outside of Bad Boy's new york office with a sign and a cup begging for spare change with a sign that says "I used to be on bad boy records this is your future!"

Dear Tweet you should have capitalized on the name twitter its too late now sucks, I bought both your albums...are you still over there singing back up and waiting for your big next wave of interest to many years have passed I hope you got some kind of knowledge or at least a deal working for someone that will allow you to put food on the table but as long as Missy let you carry her hats with hair attached to them you shall never go hungry.

Dear Truth Hurts, I always thought your jawbone was extra strong is that from using it excessively? Your album sucked donkey balls when I bought that shit it just pretty much summed up my day from there, that day will forever be marred in my mind by bad memories I don't even remember the dude I was with that day but he was a fail and my mind is blocking the memory thank God your album was like a bad cheeseburger the only thing that saved my day was a burger king burger that is the only bright spot I remember. I hope you at least got some section 8 housing because I remember you were trying to get your sister out of the foster care system. BTW the Indian video and beat you jacked for this song was hotter than what you tried to do here but I understand when you in a hurry to hit the music scene and make you a quick buck anything will do you should have tried a pyramid scheme like mona-vee but on the upside you made winding your body hot so big ups for that.

Dear NLT that is managed by Marcus Houston and Chris St(p)okes you might want to rethink your whole approach basically you sound way to R&B'ish but you're just coming off zesty all those intense faces you're making in the video makes my bowels lock up and its just not a good look. This is your 2nd single and...yea who really knows you? Your fan base is still small and you are in danger of being exploited and/whored by the marketing team of TUG and then what? Will it porn for you as well? Think about it, where's B2K, even Omarion you need to look at these peoples track record don't say I didn't try and warn you...

Dear Soul For Real I know that you have recently all been locked up with the exception of one of y'all that's sad. I know its hard to bounce back from having a little success and now being broke and doing credit fraud no one ever gives the artist a "what to do when you don't quite break out and be a successful act like they promised you act", don't worry Monifah is pissed off too maybe in jail you will come up with ways to still be relevant please don't drop the soap, watch each others back.

Dear Bilal I was digging you, are you some where wondering around under a bridge singing melodies only you can hear? Did you smoke up all your advancement money? Oh brother where art thou? OR are you hiding out some where because you believed your own hype turned into some sort of afrocentric love guru and tried to start your own tribe by knocking up all the "soul sistas" you could find hyping them by telling them you were going to start a cultural revolution, told them they should hold you down but you turned out to be some ole jive ass cultural pimp who is in turn a deadbeat daddy with leagues of children you don't take care of and now you some where living off a YT women who "believes" in you. You always did give me that sort of vibe I hope it hasn't come down for you like that but if it has damn shame on you. (UPDATE) Dear Bilal I now understand why you sat the fuck down from being on the music scene you can't sing worth shit. I can verify this because you were the one snag in the wonderful night that was the maxwell concert, you raped my soul with your damn caterwauling You have been found out and I'm spreading the word gone and go back to doing whatever else you were doing and shit besides singing because singing is not your calling!

Dear Subway you should have trademarked your name and inked a deal to sing all of subway sandwiches commercials you could have been filthy rich by now, instead you some where sitting in a subway bitter as hell or either you living with Michael Bivins in his who's who has been mansion for wayward used up talent aka the Biv 10 artist.

Dear Allure...Le-sigh I can't, I hope you ladies managed to find ballers, or got married or at least got a baby daddy check coming in.

Dear Next is it true you all fell out because of super head? Now you all sitting at the house sad and shit, you weren't without talent now look at you. Le-sigh Bro's before Hoes next time!

Dear Isyss, I liked this song, never bought an album though, and probably won't buy one but thanks for this song.

Hey Jesse Powell what you doing where you at? I really loved the song You, after that you just kind of fell off what happened? Did they try and fuck you over your contract? Where you not sexy enough to make it mainstream? I mean you a little shorty with a bird chest but you could sing your ass off I wouldn't fuck you but you could sing to me on a regular basis and I would feed you and slide you some snack cakes so you could get your weight up a little bit. I'm just saying but thanks for this lovely song that will forever live in our memories.

Uncle Sam hey where are you? Are you bitter and mad at the industry and shit like everyone else that used to sing and got dropped after they did a couple singles? I mean I liked your song but maybe you better off where ever you are right now. I mean you did really look like someones uncle so I mean are you running a daycare, or maybe an after school program helping the wayward kids and shit out in your neighborhood now perhaps you are providing music lessons and shit. Did you move to Iceland? What's good withcu uncle sam if you google yourself and see this post hollar at me leave me a comment because I really am interested in what your doing now a days.

Hey Az Yet, damn Laface records fucked up everybody hope y'all made a little change cause ummm yea this was the jam but damn where did y'all go? I hope y'all writing songs are at least working in somebody mail room...Do y'all still talk to babyface cause he ain't really putting out no music either maybe y'all can hook up and do like a traveling music show and put on a Laface revival musical it could be great get Toni B in there and just make it a well rounded show I'd go see it maybe if y'all give me like some comp tickets since I did come up with this brilliant little idea for y'all it's the least y'all could do.

Hey guys from Shai where y'all at and shit I mean I know Garfield was at cal state northridge taking classes and what not but what else y'all doing? What happened to your flannel outfits and baggy jeans do you still have them outfits? Do you ever take em out the closet and just be like damn I used to sing what happened? Is Garfield the only one that went and got a degree? Lawd how many of y'all had a crush on Garfield? light skinned dudes had a good run didn't they!!! (LOL)

I think you get the gist of where I'm going with this but if y'all see an old musical act or have any info on them leave it in the comment section cause I care about these people in my own way and I just want to make sure that they alright and not singing up under the freeway or worst. Hell if the girl from family matters can get her 5 minutes of fame back then let these one hit wonders be great as well. I'm just saying let's remember them in their short lived glory hey day and keep your eyes peeled you never know who might be working at your local walmart and shit.

MIND YOUR RELATIONSHIP

2009-10-23T09:43:00.000-07:00

People get tired...it's a fact.

It's also a fact that people can only do to you what you allow them to do to you.

Fact relationships should be a two way street or you will get ran over like a one way street complete with wear and tear and potholes.

Fact it is not always the mans fault.

Fact when you listen to single girlfriends and run the street with them then guess what you're coveting a single lifestyle which can quickly turn into a single reality!

Relationships are HARD WORK, they are harder to maintain then any 9-5 they need constant nurturing, constant vigil, constant communication, constant attention, constant pride swallowing, compromise, improvising, trust, energy, love, affection, understanding, respect, and dedication. They also need for you to have the guts and the balls to maintain it for the long haul if you're not all in then you are simply playing waiting for something better possibly to come along.

Fact marriage is not the problem its the expectations of what a marriage is. Two people who decide to get married should discuss it, discuss it, and discuss it again not just making wedding plans but talk about your expectations for each partner, finances, if you want children, where you want to live, 5 year outcome etc. There needs to be talks held, then you should seek before marriage counseling, put a higher power in your marriage, pray together, be honest and communicate often, seek wisdom from happily married elders, not single girlfriends who are bitter and angry because their marriages failed and they don't have any prospects for marriage and most importantly you need faith, faith in yourself and faith in your partner and faith in your union.

Be realistic I know many of us have done it but you ultimately know what you want in a mate, if he or she is a cheater while you're dating then what makes you think they will stop cheating after you say vows? FACT NO WOMAN CAN CHANGE A MAN, NO MAN CAN CHANGE A WOMAN! Stop thinking that you can change the person you're with into your ideal mate. If they were you're ideal mate then they wouldn't be such a fixer-upper in the first place. The worst thing you could ever do is settle and be with someone for all the wrong reasons or stay in a relationship for all the wrong reasons.

Recognize that potential might just never become anything more than potential. You know what I mean like a man that is always trying but he can't never seem to keep a job he always getting fired for some reason or other, he's a good man but he just can't hold onto a job for shit. Now understand I am not telling anyone to break up with their man by no means but realize that more often than not you will be the main bread winner. Realize that with this type of man your finances will always be in jeopardy unless you make enough to cover everything by yourself, realize that this type of man may be good in other areas but working and making money on a consistent basis won't be one of those areas. So don't go faulting the man when he can't keep a job there is where finding out about a person before you leap into a relationship with them comes into play.

I don't care what anyone says or how they justify it cheating is cheating is cheating PERIOD. It's wrong if a man does it and its wrong when a woman does it PERIOD. I don't care if you're unhappy with your mate, I don't care if you're in a lot of pain and the only way to work through it is by fucking its still wrong, your moral compass is fucked up and that's just the way it is. Don't try and cover up shit with perfume it's still funky no matter how much you spray it.

Baby mommas and baby daddies if you aren't together and you each have multiple kids please be mature about your dealings with each other. The only thing that needs to ever be discussed is your kids PERIOD. Trying to hurt each other through your children is ugly stop being so fucking stupid its not about you anymore its about your children. Women stop using your children as tools of revenge that shit is moronic and you should have known better than to put your womb on the line before you let him skeet in you. Men stop being all bitter and shit and talking about how much you hate that bitch, you wasn't hating her when you were busting nuts all in her gut. It takes two to make a baby every time you lay down with someone know that you are taking a risk DUH, anyone that doesn't get that is seriously mentally challenged and shouldn't be fucking any way.

If there is no love left then there is nothing to stay for. It will just cause misery to both parties if you are unhappy walk away. Put one foot in front of the other and don't look back even if that means you have to make some hard choices. But everyone should have a fuck you fund, just in case you have to leave you need to be able to at least have a rent deposit of first and last and a security deposit at all times sitting in a reserve account solely with your name on it.

Don't bullshit yourself if it doesn't work you can't make it work so stop trying let it go...

Just some thoughts ladies and gents from my head to hopefully your heart.

MY MAXWELL CONCERT REVIEW

2009-10-17T23:06:00.000-07:00

If you have never been to a concert and you are a woman then I must say Maxwell gives you one helluva show. Everyone was good on his tour from Chrisette Michelle to Common who rocked the house and got the crowd hyped. Everyone on the Black Summer Nights tour was so on point.

Chrisette opened the set her voice was like velvet she didn't drop a note she can skat her ass off and she just made me super glad I bought her CD. She sounds even better live then she does on her CD if she comes to a city near you it is worth your money to see her.

Next Common got the crowd hyped first lets talk about how much of a grown man common is. Can we just meditate on that for a minute, Common came out in jeans that weren't too tight nor baggy but just right for his slender frame, he even had on a belt. Then let's discuss the grown man vest, and he had on a tie the overall effect was very grown and sexy you can say he was hitting on all points! Common ran through his most recent hits including universal mind control, go, and testify which is like one of my favorites as well and then he did the light which is always a favorite of mines you just can't go wrong with that song ever. Then he did an old school hip hop set that had me open like a 24/7 walmart. Needless to say he got the crowd hyper than a cheap five dollar high. Common and Dj Dummy was a win win combination, Dj Dummy got stupid phresh on the turntables even my momma was impressed and that's saying a lot, word to my mother!

Then Maxwell hit the stage first he set the mood he had these screens that had different images on them like screen savers but they were dope images it was a perfect back drop, then his band was on point horns, drummer, and a background singer. Maxwell of course ran through a few of his hits then he did his new songs and of course he was on point and he did the damn thang musically but I want to talk about the atmosphere he created mind you the Hollywood bowl is an outside venue so we were sitting outside and there is no ceiling but the air was thick with the hum of sex. Watching Maxwell and being there in his presence as he single-handily stirred up sexual energy was like being strapped into a chair tied-up with a clit massager humming on your clit slowly prolonging the inevitable that was the effect Maxwell had he literally filled the air with a raw sensual, needy, hungry, passion and the feeling literally touched everyone in the house even me so you know that shit had to be potent. Maxwell had me longing for a booski of my own if I had one he would have been worn out after I got home from the concert. Basically Maxwell set the stage for those who were not going home to sleep alone hell after that why would you want too?

If you want to have a great time, be touched in a sensual way and feel what raw sexual energy feels like I advise you to run to your nearest ticketmaster and see if Maxwell is coming to a city near you. Ladies if you are single find you a booski because you will want to share this experience with him if not call your fuck buddy and put his ass on stand by after the concert bring the condoms and get your ass the plan b pill no need for a slip up.

I had a great time it was money well spent it was definitely a pause and pamper moment and if I get the opportunity I might do it again...he is going to be playing Vegas.....

PAUSE & PAMPER

2009-10-09T10:21:00.000-07:00

I'm always soap boxing about something but I am also an advocate of treating one's self. Fact: this life is hard as hell and there will always be something to make you feel not good enough, something always trying to tear you and your self-esteem down so I say do small things that make you feel good about self. Especially black women who often nurture everyone else around us and give until we have nothing left for self. We take care of children, elders, households and often single-handily so sometimes you need to pause and pamper. Yes ladies coin the phrase stick it in your mental rolodex and use it often. Especially when you are almost at your wits end. When you're starting to feel like you just can't breath from all the pressure you're up against then pause and pamper. Drop everything you're doing and go ahead and take time for self and pamper yourself, give to you. Do something that will make you feel special and cared for and don't let anyone step on your pampering of self. Not a relative, a spouse, a negative friend, a naysayer no one.

Give yourself permission to do something for yourself recharge yourself, no matter what it is do it and don't think twice about it. Give to yourself so that you can have something to give to others you do no good to anyone stretched to your limits, angry, burned out, bitter, frazzled, I don't care what it is if it makes you feel good then do it. You don't have to justify your pampering to anyone but self. Now I am not advocating anyone abandoning their children, households or spouses, I'm saying hit the spa, get a pedi and a medi, get your hair done, buy a sexy bra and pantie set, get a small cute feminine tattoo, hell if you so choose get a big one, whatever it is you choose to do, do it with no regret and enjoy your little slice of happiness without apology! Find your inner BPYT take her out and do something nice with her she deserves it!

IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS AND THE JOY THEY BRING

2009-10-05T17:49:00.000-07:00

It occurred to me that I often share the bad but not often the good, now my life is not as colorful as some but simple things delight me like finding a free standing M.A.C store in my local mall suddenly the mall just became a whole lot cooler again.

Spending time with my family especially my nieces and nephews who are such crazy fun awesome kids they amaze me with the things they do and say. Then there is my love of doing arts and crafts, painting anything that is paint-able and something as simple as finding a really cute pair of jeans, or getting my hair done or my feet and nails done. These are the little nuggets of richness in my life the mundane everyday ordinary things that are delightful.

Hearing a new song that has to be put on repeat until I am absolutely tired of it, trips to the 24/7 walmart, scented candles, warm comforters, cute shoes, black and white movies, anime cartoon and movies, writing, karaoke, online shopping.

Hobo bags, leggings, warm boots, concerts, having a girls night out, trips to Vegas, being told you're sexy,cute,pretty, etc ego boosters, personalized jewelry, going to the movies sparingly because they are so high its better to just buy the dvd now, doing a good deed, treating someone to something when you have the resources, shopping for my niece, listening to her chatter, playing with her.

New ink, being inspired to get new ink, a favorite tattoo, smelling good, a trusty ipod whatever generation, fuzzy sweaters, funky colored heels, a signature scent, HULU, waking up in my right mind, oatmeal with brown sugar, warm slippers, comfy bedclothes, putting on makeup, taking makeup off and just unwinding after a night out, watching my brothers grow up, new sneakers, leopard print anything, making my family laugh, cooking a good meal, hot tea with honey, spending the holidays with family.

Anyways just some of the little things that bring me joy...

5 FOR FRIDAY FEAST ON SOME REAL MUSIC

2009-10-02T10:04:00.000-07:00

Today is going to be a five for Friday just because it's easy, my very active niece is on the way over and this is something I can dash off hopefully before she gets here, so let's jump it off.

Five for Friday's some artist you might have slept on/never heard of:

THIRD~~First~~ artist Dondria aka Phatffat she is an artist that is now signed to so so def she started off just doing videos on youtube and then she got discovered by Jermaine Durpree her album hasn't dropped yet but watch out for her. If you want to see more of her then check out her youtube channel DONDRIA'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL

SECOND artist Elisabeth Withers she has an awesome voice she is so slept on find out more about here on her MYSPACE PAGE or goggle her. One of my favorite songs from her album:

~~Third~~FIRST Rachelle Ferrell so slept on she has an octave range that rivals Mariah Carey's she plays piano and if you have never ever seen her perform or picked up any of her music you are lacking and sorely missing something in your life. This woman can blow your mind just listen to her she works her voice like a finely tuned instrument I don't even think I have words to describe how incredible she is matter of fact you know what she is First fourth and fifth because she needs really her own post but I'm going to just give you some videos cause she is so righteous!

DEATH STEALS ANOTHER BLACK MALE WHILE WE WATCH

2009-09-28T14:47:00.000-07:00

I'm tired. I'm frustrated with my own life and frankly I'm just damned tired of being a black woman. I feel like if I was at least a white woman I would be engaged by now, I certainly would be able to pull a football/basketball player but I digress.

I used to live in Inglewood California yes home to what used to be called the great western forum until they built the staple center now the forum is a giant relic that just sits there struggling to still be apart of a city that is a some what quiet urban nest inside of a bigger urban nest. Back to my point I used to live in Inglewood and before we moved to the burbs I was privy to the type of shit that makes up the lives of inner city youth.

Gangs, jacking, death. Now anyone that has dwelt in an urban city knows that death is a constant companion death doesn't sleep. I have seen bodies laid out under sheets blowing in the breeze waiting for the corner to come collect it. I have walked on many a sidewalk washed in somebodies blood, I was even privy to a jacking on the back of a bus and let me not have worn the wrong color to school like say red a whole red outfit... could cause major conflict.

Since I have been out of high school it seems to have gotten worst I don't understand the need to be so bloodthirsty we don't need help killing ourselves we got that down to a fine art it's sad and it makes me tired and damned glad that today I don't have any kids. Self hatred plays out through the younger generations they don't see nothing wrong with taking the life of a peer because they don't see their self worth.

The best lie ever told is the one that is told so much it becomes fact. It is a fact that black is minority, it is a fact that we as humans are so undervalued that we don't value ourselves which allow us to do the most ugliest things within our own culture. Fact we are so undervalued that even the government which has had laws on the books separating the races valued one color over the other ingraining doubt about self which turned into a fact that got passed down as legacy, fact we were brought here from Africa and stripped of all of our cultural heritage family ties were severed in order to break apart any type of familial ties that had occurred and would occur. Fact this familial break down has now become a legacy a generational curse that is passed down through generations so much so that is now a reality! We as a people don't value ourselves, we as a people don't pass down what it is we need to combat the hatefulness and spitefulness of the majority rule.

Before you lay your head down tonight talk to your children, make it a nightly ritual reaffirm that they are somebody that they don't have to act like trash and hurt one another. Tell your children where they can from not just from watts, compton, the southside, or new orleans. Allow your child to see that there is a bigger picture and we helped make that picture even though our efforts are ignored, or stolen. Give your children something bigger than hip-hop, hanna montana, and disney, give them truth and a knowledge of self. Impart in them a love of their culture and heritage allow them to step outside of the cocoon of ugliness that is the legacy of this country. Allow them to have more than being common street thugs allow them more than untimely death allow them more than what Derrion Albert got.

READ THE FOLLOW UP

THE EATING OF INNOCENCE; CHECK YOUR APPETITE

2009-09-27T09:53:00.000-07:00

"Nothing Is Private"

Genre:	Drama
Release:	2008 December
Rtg:	8.5/10 (451 votes)

The above movie is about the very subject I am speaking on...to me it was a heartbreaking and disturbing movie to say the least watch it at your own risk.

Do you know where your daughter, cousin, niece, sister, child is right this moment? Right now someones little girl or teenage daughter is being forced, coerced, rapped, or seduced into having sex with someone twice her age. She is being taken advantage of and her innocence is being stolen and her body is being violated. She is being put into a position (no pun intended) that she shouldn't have to be in because some sick ass older man with fucked up brain chemistry is willingly and sadistically taking the very best of her at this moment because he thinks it is his right to do so. Some where innocence is being devoured and my heart breaks for these not yet fully grown nor fully developed young girls/teenagers that are being put in a position they shouldn't be put in. Just because someone has an appetite for their youth its disgusting and sad.

Pedophiles... as of late they have been catching pedophiles but its taking them years to catch these dudes. Shit is sad and sick what's more disturbing is the more notoriety and money these pedophiles have then it's like well they are just disturbed geniuses who need help not jail.

In a male dominated society children and women are eaten alive and their spirits and bones are spat out by the masses. Case in point both Polanski and Robert Kelly have committed crimes with little girls teenagers at best but not grown ass women. But every time anyone says anything about the girls that were involved with these men they always say: "those little girls were consenting, they knew what they were doing and that the girls wanted it, that they were working their bodies like grown ass women, and Polanski has Maintained the girl was sexually experienced and had consented!

Excuse me if I'm wrong but the last time I checked even if a teenager was "experienced" she is still a teenager the only time teenage girls get turned it is at the hands of men that take her developing body and lust after it and seduce this young girl into thinking she a woman because her ass and titties have yet to match up with her IQ therefore she is gullible and misguided. Most often she is lacking a daddy figure in her life so any man showing her some attention and affection will quickly gain her trust and he can have her doing any and everything. Especially if the dude is throwing a little money at her, buying her things, taking her places showing just a little bit of interest in her then yes that teenage girl will do anything in her power to please that boy/older man.

Teen age girls don't just get up in the morning and go hmmm who shall I fuck today if she does then some where along the line she has been failed by the adults in her life. Show me any young wild hot teenage girl and I will show you a lack of parental guidance, a lack of structure, possibly even a history of neglect and abuse in the girls life. Bottom line stop blaming teenage girls for the lack of judgment and mental stability of grown ass men. Stop blaming the victim even if these girls are way to grown for their ages, know way to much about sex then they should, it used to take a village to raise a child but modern day societies have burned down those villages now a days parents don't want help they think people are intruding in their business if they offer help or advise. I think its sad when you see young girls sexing away their youth, wearing out their vagina walls before they even know how to properly wash their asses.

there is nothing cute about a too grown oversexed teenage girl its tragic and far to often it happens in neighborhoods across the world. The value of a young girls innocence has long been sold to the highest bidder and the world looks on in passive aggressive fashion as her silent tears are ignored and her soul is replaced with darkness and she is left to fend for herself in the divide between not grown and too grown...

Roman Polanski Arrested for sex with 13yr old in the 1970's:
read article here

PENIS ON PARADE

2009-09-25T12:27:00.000-07:00

Dear Men,

Hey guys let me talk to you for a minute about this very important topic that should be addressed. I have let it slide far to long because way too many of y'all are doing it and I know some BASIC BITCH's have convinced y'all that the shit is cute but I am here to tell you this shit needs to stop or it just needs to stop happening to me that's for damn sure.

STOP SENDING YOUR MOTHAFUCKING PENIS THROUGH THE NET AND THROUGH PICTURE MAIL ON CELLPHONES. First and foremost unless your penis is immaculate and just beautiful like a work of art penis is not that impressive looking in general. Now some chicks get off on looking at different penises but some don't I happen to not be one of those chicks that need to be sent penis through any types of electronic means yet and still I always get the penis pictures. There is a time and a place to disclose your penis and for goodness sakes ask first it's only polite.

You would think that since men's fragile egos are tied directly to their penis they wouldn't be so eager to give anyone an opening to attack it. But some of y'all are slow mentally obviously since you sending penis through electronic means and you proud of your man sausages like you did something special. Like you want extra life credit for growing your penis or something. So be forewarned that if you send your penis to me electronically and expect me to be excited, aroused, or overjoyed then you will most likely be disappointed. I will more than likely say something unkind about your penis and possibly cause your self esteem to crumble and give you doubts that you could even work the middle and that up until you sent your penis electronically to me you were simply getting pity coochie. I will do my best to make you feel under endowed as well but most of y'all don't need my help in that department especially when you working with less than a size 8. If your penis is less than impressive in length I will not lie to you nor spare your feelings.

So men this is your forewarning before you send your penis through electronic means make sure its impressive and something to really see, also please ask and inform before you just send. Some women don't like surprises I for one am one of those women who would rather have the option to say no versus just being underwhelmed by unimpressive man meat. So spread the word near and far men stop sending out your penis without being invited to do so, I know that sending penis electronically is the new IN but trust me like tight skinny jeans its not for everybody!

YOU TOLE HARPO TO BEAT ME

2009-09-23T06:22:00.000-07:00

Shug: More than anything God love admiration.
Celie: You saying God is vain?
Shug: No, not vain, just wanting to share a good thing. I think it pisses God off when you walk by the colour purple in a field and don't notice it.
Celie: You saying it just wanna be loved like it say in the bible?
Shug: Yeah, Celie. Everything wanna be loved. Us sing and dance, and holla just wanting to be loved. Look at them trees. Notice how the trees do everything people do to get attention... except walk?

If you're a black woman born anytime after the 80's then you have the color purple memorized verbatim and you can reenact scenes with your female friends and family members you might even often use a direct quote from the movie to express yourself time and time again or maybe that is just my reality...anyway I decided that I wanted to post the two songs from the color purple that make my heart sing.

This is the first song:

The 2nd song is the first church scene ever made that captured the true essence of what a black shotgun church is really like and the scene always ALWAYS makes me pause and get that well-up want to cry feeling and sometimes I even do cry involuntarily if you can't feel this scene I'm sorry to tell you, you just might be dead. If I can still be moved by gospel music and church scenes I know I ain't too far gone from his presence but that's a whole different post. Get ready to get your shout, praise, cry on my absolute best loved scene from the color purple "God is tryna tell you something".

SNAPSHOTS ARE NOT THE WHOLE PICTURE

2009-09-20T03:37:00.000-07:00

I want start out by saying I appreciate the people that come here and read what I write especially those that have been here from the very beginning. I didn't even know what blogs were really I just knew that I loved to write and it seemed like a cool idea to have an electronic journal some where, where you could vent and voice your opinion about things. Since I always seem to have an opinion about something this seemed like the perfect thing for me. Then I found out people actually make money off their blogs I was like wow maybe I could do that as well.

But I don't think people realize how hard it is to open yourself up in this world and put yourself out there. Sometimes I am having a hard day or just going through something(s) so I write it out and I get it out of my system once I do that I can move on or put it in better perspective. Its just a SNAPSHOT of my life not the whole big picture. I give you snapshots and some people think its a whole book. They taking pages from this book thinking they know me and running with it. These very people have never even bothered to hold a conversation with me or ask me about my feelings they just read something and run with it and then they think they know me and my whole situation which couldn't be farther from the truth. I have relatives who have never even sat down and just really talked with me in-depth but I bet they think they know me pretty well.

Yes I know I take a risk writing things down and having them judged but walking down the street, wearing my hair a certain way, wearing certain clothes, being around certain people, just being a black woman I am judged everyday not by the content of my character but by my very appearance. You don't have to know me to judge me and many people do that. It is so easy to read something and form an opinion when you don't know the whole story just a snapshot. But I like writing I like having this blog and if no one read it I would still write it. I like having a small intimate group of readers.

I appreciate when people leave comments I really do but the people who are anonymous and don't sign their comments and just leave shitty things in the comment sections are cowards. People who use anonymity to bash other people are weak minded people if you're going to be an asshole leave your name and a way to get back in contact with you so that a person may reply in kind. Don't just blog hit and run that's cowardly you big and bold enough to comment be big and bold enough to get a response. I do my best to respond to all comments unless its just a general one so if you leave a comment know that I reply to them each and every time.

Before anyone reads into this and thinks I'm speaking specifically at them I am not. I have wanted to say this for a long time and never have gotten around to it this was something that was weighing on my mind and had to be written out.

HAVING A GIRL MOMENT

2009-09-16T00:40:00.000-07:00

urban jungle by the78msj on Polyvore.com

Don't you live being a female sometimes? Cute clothes, sexy heels, haute handbags almost, ALMOST makes up for the other stuff we go through...well kinda sorta lol. BTW this is what I'm wearing to the Maxwell concert, yay me.

KANYE YOU'RE A C.U.N.ext.T.uesday

2009-09-15T14:06:00.000-07:00

I'm sure if you are living on planet earth you have heard about the Kanye debacle, if not good for you stay away from celeb-whore-t's they are bad people but I posted the aforementioned video anyway for a point of reference. Ever since Kanye lost his mom he has been on this emotional unbalanced roller coaster and he has just keeps lashing out. I know that it is difficult to lose a parent especially when that parent is extra close to you but drinking, having sex, working nonstop, and saying and doing fucked up things will not bring him closure, give him peace nor bring his beloved mother back.

Kanye is a very flawed man and if he keeps going the way he is going he is either going to die young, or go out Michale Jackson style. There is no one in these celeb-whore-t's lives that say's hey pull it together fucktard you're spinning out of control. Because of the money and fame these people get to do and act however they want, they commit crimes they get slapped on the wrist. They do classless and crass things the whole world clutches its pearls and still embraces these buffoons and clowns shit is awful. I wish I had enough money to be an asshole and treat people like shit all the time and get away with it ~~oh wait don't I already do that?~~

I used to be a Kanye supporter but now I think I will have to add him to my list of people that I just give no attention to if we stop rewarding these attention whores with attention then they will have no choice but to go away. Being famous is like any other drug and I for one am so tired of these assholes getting high on their own hype shit needs to stop.

LETS HAVE A ONE SIDED CONVERSATION

2009-09-11T15:48:00.000-07:00

I'm 31.

I'm black, single, no kids, female, and 31...

I may never get married and the realest shit is I have never been in love!

I have said I love you to many a "boyfriend" because I thought I was supposed too and I thought I meant it at the time but looking back after the fact after all the dust has settled I didn't love any of those dudes.

I was going through the motions...I have never really let anyone in.

I have a brick wall guarded by an electronic fence around my heart with vicious guard dogs standing guard. I think my immunity to bullshit has inoculated me from even wanting to get with or pursue anything with these guys. It all sounds the same to me, once a dude finds out your celibate then they start talking shit about how they have the cure for what ails me or they make many offers to fuck the lining out my vagina and tear down my walls but that's all they're coming with. They don't think past their dicks.

If I wanted to have meaningless sex then I would be fucking why don't men get that? Besides the truth is sex is overrated, wack, and I can do better by myself. For those women who have had the fortune of having great sex in their life times they are the exception to the rule. Most men couldn't hit the spot with detailed directions and a step by step map. The truth is most men don't give a shit about making a woman feel good they are going to nut regardless.

I look at these movies and I think this is all fiction not fact no one believes in love anymore, no one stays married until death anymore, no one is this devoted in their unselfishness. Most people are just trying to get over.

For every electronic means of communication we have lost the art of real communication, we have lost the art of listening, and we have lost the art of fostering loving relationships. There was a time when family was important, there was a time when being loved and in love was important now its on the back burner but that new job, that new status symbol and that vacation in the Southampton's is the mark of happiness.

Society has turned in its dance card with love.

I feel like I was born in the wrong era I feel so old school in a time when I don't understand the interactions between men and women. Everything is instant that's why its unforefilling you can't make a roast instantly it takes time for the meat to cook and marinate, no one has the patience's for love anymore that's why when the infatuation stage wears off its on to the next person.

I am so jaded that nothing surprises me anymore, one of my twitter bff's said to me you need something good to happen to you and I totally agree with her but I'm not one of those good things happens to type people. I'm quite the opposite I suppose.

It kind of surprises me now when people get married...especially black people. I guess that's why I love weddings its because I've been to a total of two in my entire lifetime. So the awe and the beauty is still intact.

Think of this post as more of a one sided conversation feel free to talk back in the comments.
Side note I was really thinking about becoming a lesbian this week, that's how tough my nerves were worked by the opposite sex. I even was on the brink of crossing the color line...yep I know but the interesting thing is a man is still a man which means an asshole is still an asshole and he turned out to be fraudulent like all the rest. He didn't even get out the gate fell off in just two days.

I think the getting to know you and seeing if that person is what you want needs to go down in one conversation stop having more than one conversation that builds hope you should know by now what the hell you're looking for and that should come across in one conversation. Put a questionnaire together and stick to that ask the important shit up front then fill in the filler stuff in other conversations. But the basics the things you're looking for, the things you need, and your expectations need to go down in one conversation!

But that only works when two people know their own mind and they know what they want and what they are seeking! It doesn't work when one person is saying all the right things just to get some ass...

Dating is ridiculous...the getting to know you phase is redundant, love is obsolete, and I am internally frustrated with the whole situation...

Someone once said that we were broken rocks or stones and we had a second half to our person but they were some where else in the world and it was our job to find that second half...but since women out number men...

I THINK I HAVE LOST ALL HOPE FOR MYSELF...

ADDICTIONS, DISEASES, AND FALLEN STARS; MAIA CAMPBELL

2009-09-03T23:30:00.000-07:00

Update Maia is getting help let's hope she sticks with it and get's the help she needs: READ THE UPDATE HERE

Okay so apparently people are saddened and shocked over the appearance of Maia Campbell in the above latest video. If you don't know who she is, she is the girl that played Tiffany in the LL cool J show In The House. She is also the daughter of the late author BeBe Moore Campbell. She was also the main character in the Tyrese video Lately she also had other bit roles here and there but none so prominent as the show In The House,

The video that had surfaced to let everyone know that Maia was indeed either starting to loose her mind or she was already gone sent shock waves through the urban community in 2007:

Maia Campbell - The funniest videos clips are here

Maia had been diagnosed with bipolarity her late mother spoke on it and even wrote numerous books about mental illness before she herself died of brain cancer at the age of 56. Apparently Maia refuses to take her meds and she has turned to a life of petty crimes, stealing, selling her body so that she can get drugs. Some people have gone even so far as to say that she has schizophrenia but I don't know where they got that information from. I don't know the woman personally just watching her on different programs and videos and even reading a lot of her late mothers writings I guess I feel like she is one of the west coast own so in a 7 degrees of separation kind of sense of community I feel like I do know her.

The truth is though a lot of the people in the entertainment business is on something, they all use something to escape the pressure cooker of being under a microscope 24/7, they never get to turn the spotlight off they have vices some more deadlier than others. I'm a firm believer in you can't force a grown person to do anything if they don't want to do it. If she doesn't want to get help for herself and rather be out on the streets what can you do short of snatching her up and locking her down some where. I feel bad for her children and husband who have to go through this and watch from afar as Maia falls apart. Addiction is something that is hard to cope with especially when a loved one is suffering in a self destructive kind of way. I hope that where ever her kids are they are shielded from the ugliness that is their mother right now, and I honestly hope that she does get help.

The stories complied about her:

2007 black voices

Article by Paul Mooney on Maia

Latest Article On Maia

SOUTHERN BOOTY BANDIT (NSFW EXPLICIT IMAGES)

2009-09-03T00:39:00.000-07:00

I was searching through my blogs really trying to see if I had written about a particular incident in my tragic single life history A.K.A. tragic dating in southern California topics and I can't believe that I didn't mention this particular incident with this particular individual before.

Now this particular dude let's call him Southern Booty Bandit, SBB for short I bumped into him on a ning site. He seemed perfectly charming gave me a little background about himself he was alright meaning not completely tragic looking (meaning with a hat low on his head he was cute or if he was wearing some shades that covered much of his face he was cute) but his looks didn't really blow my skirt up but I shoot the breeze with folks just to get an idea of what people are thinking in the world so we exchanged yahoo messenger names and the likes and we began to talk on a semi regular basis.

He said he was a misplaced Katrina transplant, he said he had did time in jail for a weapons charge he said he did about 7 years, then he said he went to college and got a degree in criminal justice. Now read that whole sentence real slow if your mind is like wait...he got a record but he went into the field of criminal justice which was basically a waste of time and energy. Anyone with higher cognitive thinking skills knows that if you have a record you can't go work for the police or anything government related come on now!

Then he shared that he was diabetic, while I personally have nothing against diabetics my great-grandmother was diabetic but as far as procreating wise which he wanted to do some day I can't willingly go there plus he smoked cigs and weed on occasion. Anyway so he often said he was a paper chaser in his new orleanin drawl which I guess was supposed to impress me. He wanted me to be on his team as far as trying to spark up a relationship and I told him that the kid here didn't do LDR's I simply refuse to do them its like trying to walk a two legged dog, pointless tragic and futile. He kept insisting that it would be alright and of course I shined him on. Plus he had certain requirements like he liked his women to wear hoe clothes. Back out breast out short as hell, the shit you wear to the club he wanted a woman to wear every day. He also liked heels and thongs and g-strings the typical male shit plus he wanted some cyber love through a webcam when he was in a relationship long distance wise.

Now if you can't guess anything else about me you know I don't do hoe shit in real life on full blast, nor would I ever do anything that would ever have me in a position that would compromise me as a person. I would never give anyone the power to willingly blackmail or exploit me because I was dumb enough to send explicite pictures or do hoe type shit on a webcam I got way more sense then that and besides I'm not in the sex industry.

He also said he was celibate and if he just wanted some ass then he would go down to Atlanta because bitches (his word not mines) would do anything freaky down there. The more we talked the more his "otherness" started to show around this same time he also told me he liked women to pee on his dick (blink and insert a long pause). It all started coming to a head when the owner of the ning site I had originally met him on spilled the real T on homeboy.

Apparently he had been trying to get with her at an earlier time and she had talked to him and gotten to know him and apparently they got along so well he let his hair down with her fully. These are the things she told me that he told her; he told her that he was passive in bed and he liked being dominated, he wanted to dress up as a woman and be fucked with a strap-on. He also told her he liked looking at dicks of other men and comparing them to his little pecker. So quite naturally I asked homeboy about it he got heated saying she was lying on him because he promised to send her two hundred dollars but he never did from then on I looked at dude in a whole different light.

We still talked to each other on a semi regular basis at this point he was still working in a kitchen and delivering pizzas on his days off. He would usually pop up on my messenger around Sunday night while we still chopped it up every now and again I wasn't really stunting dude I was truthfully interested in someone else that didn't pan out but that's a whole different post literally.

So he keeps asking me if he can visit and if I am going to be his girl and me I always would say I don't know you well enough for that type of commitment and usually change the subject or he would wander off of messenger so one day I get this link in my offline messages and its from him so I click the link and its this young tenderoni who's a sexy little chocolate drop of a cutie he couldn't have been more than 19 and this little cutie proceeds to do a strip tease until he was naked completely with his impressive manhood erect and at attention so I'm thinking WTF, Red flags like a mothafucka.

SBB try's to back peddle and send out a group message saying someone else had used his computer and had pasted that link and sent it out to everyone on his messenger list. Now Pause right there, dude lives alone for 1, 2 why would someone take a link and paste it to everyone on his messenger list especially of a young dude stripping? It just sounded way to suspect to me and it just didn't add up. I mean anything could be possible but I didn't call foul I just gave him more rope to hang himself with.

Finally me and dude came to a crossroads and he started spilling his guts saying he was freaky that he did like to look at dicks but only so him and whomever he would be in a relationship with could talk about them and tell him all the things she wanted the dicks and compare and contrast the different dicks to his this is the type of shit that turned him on...PAUSE, then he went on to say that he had also been married before to his childhood sweetheart whom he used to beat the fuck out of. Now he had failed to mention that part insisting that he had told me that before, and every time he talked about his going to jail for the gun charges the years served always changed. I'm not one for a bunch of aggravation so after all this starts spilling out dude still had the nerve to ask if he could come visit me I was like naw dude hell naw I'm great on anything you trying to do.

Then he started trying to get flip talking about was I intimidated because my money wasn't right and all this other hoopla about money basically I blocked his ass and hadn't thought about him since until dude showed up in a blackplanet chatroom. I was like oh hell naw this fool isn't on bp I'm seeing things so I checked his page out and indeed it was him. HE even had the nerve to try and have a private chat with me I was like oh fuck no I immediately blocked his ass and just had to shake my head woe to the woman that gets fooled by his crazy ass. Dude ain't even sexy though not even a little bit you gotta be hard up and on hard times to want to even deal with dude on that level. Dude even had the nerve to send me pictures of his little penis that never could when we were cordial he swore up and down he was an 8 he looked more like a 6. The audacity of some folks is too huge to comprehend so I don't even attempt to try. I wish I had of kept his little bitty penis just to add it to this post but I didn't. Since I don't have any visuals of him I'm going to go with a video which I fairly think represents him in his entirety!

PCITURE'S COURTESY OF BRUTHALOVE.COM

CARDINAL RULES, BECAUSE I NEED A REMINDER

2009-09-01T08:05:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I need a reminders of the things I already know its like pulling out a familiar check list and going over it every once and awhile to make sure your still on course and in line with the things on that list. As we get older some of the things on the list become more important than others so essentially it is a good thing to pull the list out and check it over every once and again.

When someone shows you who they are believe them! This is such an important cardinal rule how many times have we overlooked something we have seen in a person's character that was a huge warning sign but we kept on dealing with the person because we felt like the good out weighed the bad? You can not change anyone but yourself and you would be a fool to think or try and do otherwise.
Listen to what men say. How often have we ignored the little things that men have said, because we were focused on what WE wanted. Then when the end results don't turn out as we wanted them too we feel lied to and deceived? LISTEN to what a man says he is telling you all that you will ever need to know, even if his actions directly contradict what he is saying.
When a man is already in a " domestic situation" whether it be marriage, or shacking up. He will not leave his woman to be with you even if you break him off some cookie. Of course he will sell you any pipe dream you want to hear while he is beating and skeeting you but after all that is over and his dick is out of you he will forget everything he said. NOW on the off chance that this man does leave his "situation" for you and you were the direct cause of his break-up then prepare to be kicked in the ass by universal law which is a fundamental cardinal rule as well...What comes around goes around! If he left her for you what makes you so special that he won't leave you?
Sex doesn't keep a man! I'll write that one again sex doesn't keep a man if it did then there would be more couples still together less divorces and more two parent households!
Men deal in loopholes, meaning they will phrase things to their benefit in order to get what they want be careful of word traps.
Homegirl/wifey/boo is another way to give you a false sense of ownership to something you don't officially have again word trap. If you don't have an official capacity in a dudes life you are a filler, basically a chick who that has potential to fill an opening when he gets one in his life but in the meantime he will keep you around until said position becomes open or until he can talk you into fucking him whichever comes first.
Men are essentially unstable creatures, dramatic, possessive and not in touch with their feelings. Much of what they say is nonsense listen enough to get the information that you need to glean from them what they are trying to get from you once you get that then act accordingly. For example, My girl <<<>>>(the nonsense to ignore) and me aren't getting along, but that's neither here nor there I still want to give you pleasure I can make you feel really good.
Never bother to invest emotionally in someone who can't do the same for you. Turn the emotional spigot off! I don't buy into that "I fell helplessly in love with him and now I can't let him go" crap. If you guard your heart which one is supposed to do then there is no way someone can get under your skin, and into your psyche unless you let them in.
MAKE Them work for it! Stop just giving away all your power, emotional, sexual, and mental. IF you hand it up on a silver platter than what does he have to work for?
Anything worth having is worth working for. If it's too easy its suspect, that just goes without saying across the board.
Know your worth that way you won't fall for nor accept just any old bullshit. Value you first and everyone else 2nd.
Yes cheating is still wrong even though the world and everyone in it will try and convince you its not, I don't care who does the cheating wrong is wrong. Nothing justifies cheating even though people will always rationalize it

SWEETER THAN HONEY, MARY B. MORRISON

2009-08-30T16:03:00.000-07:00

IMAGES COURTESY OF AMAZON.COM

Okay so I have a membership at BLACK EXPRESSIONS BOOK CLUB check it out its a great site anyway the point of this blog is to talk about the series by Mary B. Morrison the Honey series. When I started this series I didn't expect to be a little intrigued, a little disgusted, and drawn in by the characters in this series. But as I read this book I can't help but reflect on the choices that the characters make. Of course all the things the characters have been through shape their choices and their life situations but I still can't help but wonder why some women make the choice to accept men into their lives that don't give a shit about them and these women will give their all, their whole being over to this man like he is their god. It makes me shake my head and wonder truly about the make-up of the average woman.

Why do women accept, abuse, cheating, lying, neglect is it because the average woman doesn't know her worth is it because she is afraid to be alone? Is it because she doesn't think she is worthy of the best so she settles for whatever comes her way? Honestly I think I have a low opinion of the human species in general I'm disgusted with the way things are, the way people treat each other the way we interact with one another the way we don't give our loved ones roses until they are dead. Society has gotten so warped and in the process I've become warped with it bent, twisted and shattered and more than a little jaded like the characters in this series if you get a chance to check out the books then leave your comment on what you think. It would be interesting to hear what you guys think of this series. Males and females of course this would make for a wonderful book club discussion I promise it will get heated.