tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40870651262561338742009-06-20T16:04:30.726-06:00Karen offers parenting consultations by phone and email. Visit www.karenalonge.com for more information.karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.comBlogger115125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4087065126256133874.post-17695794005439195752009-06-20T16:03:00.001-06:002009-06-20T16:04:30.735-06:00

I stumbled upon this article online today, and found myself getting all teary-eyed while reading it. A teenage brother and sister who are orphaned by their mother's sudden death are adopted by their mom's ex-boyfriend, and he steps up to unexpected fatherhood in every possible way. I just love happy endings.http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/06/19/rs.mom.died.boyfriend.adopts/index.html?

karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4087065126256133874.post-78282589867453085612009-06-17T18:01:00.005-06:002009-06-17T18:57:18.645-06:00

My four year old son is the sweetest child when he's in a good mood, but it can change so quickly! Here's an example:The other morning we were getting ready to go to the park. He was so excited that he started telling me which park we were going to, and I was agreeing to everything he was saying. Within seconds, he suddenly changed. He could not put his shoes on, so I asked him if he needed help.

karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4087065126256133874.post-34529845752299730222009-06-08T18:22:00.005-06:002009-06-08T19:11:02.698-06:00

I wholeheartedly agree with your advice on collaboration vs. consequences. Yet sometimes I still find myself issuing consequences, threats and ultimatums, even though I know they don't work! I wish collaborative parenting came more naturally to me ... any suggestions? Oh gosh, it's that way for all of us when we try to break old habits. There's sort of a progression that the process of personal

karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4087065126256133874.post-43632194328279382082009-06-02T23:06:00.005-06:002009-06-03T00:03:59.925-06:00

I have two sons. One is 2 1/2 years old and the other 7 months. After I gave birth to the baby, my older son's personality changed. I remember him coming to the hospital, and bursting into tears as soon as he lay eyes on his brother. Ever since then, he has been less cooperative and very distant with me, and it has caused alot of tension in our relationship. He has changed from a very loving

karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4087065126256133874.post-52953268229554988172009-05-31T22:20:00.003-06:002009-05-31T22:24:21.520-06:00

I just found this while cleaning up some archived emails. I wrote it back in 2005 ...Greetings!I am all aglow this morning, having just spent 30 minutes over at the middle school with my son.Each month, the teachers there are encouraged to nominate a student who quietly, day in and day out, makes the school a more positive and fulfilling place to be. These students receive an award for their

karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4087065126256133874.post-61575439534170557462009-05-26T09:02:00.002-06:002009-05-26T09:07:10.784-06:00

interesting article from CNN about how teenage girls can minimize the risk of receiving unwanted sexual advances online:http://www.cnn.com/2009/TECH/05/26/girls.internet.study/index.html?iref=werecommendFor more information about Karen's parenting consultations, click here or visit http://www.karenalonge.com/

karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4087065126256133874.post-25097062893392675442009-05-18T21:15:00.008-06:002009-05-18T22:42:46.652-06:00

There's an important distinction between grounding for protective or punitive reasons.Punitive grounding is intended to apply uncomfortable consequences and restrictions which can be avoided in the future by complying with parental rules. It may appear to work in the short term, but rarely triggers permanent changes in high risk behaviors. In fact, punitive grounding often simply inspires teens

karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4087065126256133874.post-82401248600541167172009-05-18T14:53:00.005-06:002009-05-18T17:27:52.966-06:00

My son sets impossible standards for himself and then gets upset when he can't meet them. I try to tell him that it's okay to make mistakes because that's how we learn, but he still gets so down on himself for "failing." I know how painful it is to be a perfectionist because I'm the same way. How can I help him lighten up?Yes, perfectionism can be painful. And it can also be a gift. I suspect

karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4087065126256133874.post-82569941054188088172009-05-14T09:21:00.002-06:002009-05-14T09:28:40.595-06:00

to read the updated post:http://www.advice-for-parents.com/2007/11/my-child-cries-at-everything-part-2.htmland if you haven't read part 1 yet, that is here:http://www.advice-for-parents.com/2007/11/what-can-i-do-about-my-preschooler-who.htmlFor more information about Karen's parenting consultations, click here or visit http://www.karenalonge.com/

karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4087065126256133874.post-91174274152466654222009-05-13T17:32:00.002-06:002009-05-13T17:34:56.330-06:00

this is sort of a user's manual for your brain, written by a self-proclaimed 'grumpy' scientist who is scrupulous about his research and sources. I think you'll find it illuminating, and I bet you'll learn something new about how your child's brain functions. ( and yours, too!) http://www.brainrules.net/For more information about Karen's parenting consultations, click here or visit

karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4087065126256133874.post-73727894598848473562009-05-08T11:55:00.002-06:002009-05-12T08:39:07.012-06:00

You might want to have some tissues handy when you read it. It's about a Boulder woman who offers to give birth to her best friend's child.http://www.boulderweekly.com/20090507/coverstory.htmlFor more information about Karen's parenting consultations, click here or visit www.karenalonge.com

karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4087065126256133874.post-60727150823011549072009-05-07T21:26:00.006-06:002009-05-18T17:32:45.274-06:00

During the past 3 months, my straight A daughter, who is a senior in high school, has become a C student. Her grades started slipping when she started dating -- before then she had no real interest in boys. She says she is 18 and can do as she likes. We have always been a close family and are just worried, not about our daughter growing up, but about her future. If you have any suggestions about

karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4087065126256133874.post-73958232966040667552009-05-06T11:54:00.007-06:002009-05-12T08:41:03.854-06:00

My daughter pitches on the Little League (LL) softball team. Last night, the coach of the traveling team, who is also the father of another pitcher, stood a yard from my daughter when she was doing her pitching warm-up. He then stood at the fence next to her dugout during the game and tried to intimidate her by staring fiercely at her. I didn't say anything to him, but am really angry. My

karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4087065126256133874.post-45705648383100752072009-05-02T12:18:00.001-06:002009-05-12T08:16:48.125-06:00

How many parents have ever heard their young children issuing ultimatums? Playmates may hear If you won't play Barbies, I am leaving. Toys and dolls are ordered to Stop crying or go to your room. Even parents are not exempt: Mommy, I'll only eat these green beans if you give me two cookies for dessert.Where does this stuff come from? I have a theory. (Of course ... don't I always have a theory?)

karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4087065126256133874.post-53433832421856068012009-04-29T22:48:00.006-06:002009-04-30T00:05:09.799-06:00

Don't expect your offspring to serve as evidence of your intelligence, hard work, or value as a person.Sooner or later, all kids will assert their autonomy. If your self-esteem is contingent upon your children in any way, or if you fail to acknowledge that your child is an independent being with his or her own preferences and path in life, the growing up process is likely to end up being painful

karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4087065126256133874.post-53196070400760316502009-04-10T10:25:00.003-06:002009-05-12T08:17:11.524-06:00

Huge disclaimer: I am feeling tender and sentimental today. This will affect what I write, for sure! Okay, so here's what got me started on this. As I headed down to the kitchen for a bite to eat this morning, I noticed that my teenage daughter's bed was unmade. Downstairs I found a wadded up sweatshirt on the kitchen table, a half eaten muffin on the counter, yesterday's lunch box with a

karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4087065126256133874.post-79124247100033048652009-04-09T21:04:00.003-06:002009-05-12T08:17:59.325-06:00

Two similar requests for advice came in recently: My teenage daughter has occasionally "borrowed" secretly from her older sister for the past 10 years. When confronted and forced to return the items, she is sheepish and never offers an explanation. Her sister gets quite angry and wants me and her mother to "do something." Any suggestions?I just found out that my daughter and some friends had

karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4087065126256133874.post-42003765722967518622009-04-09T16:23:00.004-06:002009-05-12T09:12:23.452-06:00

My colleague Sue Blaney , a highly respected source of grounded and practical information for parents of teenagers, has just released a new free e-book: Secrets to Success in Parenting Your Teen.http://www.pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/pdfs/SecretsEBook.pdfI've facilitated parenting groups based on her book Please Stop the Rollercoaster! How Parents of Teenagers Can Smooth Out the Ride and

karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4087065126256133874.post-7976903438884420522009-03-31T14:23:00.010-06:002009-03-31T21:27:55.451-06:00

I'm a stepmom of two wonderful kids, age 9 and 12. Their mom has "episodes" because of her bipolar condition. She will yell and scream at them, and say ugly things about their Dad and me and other family members. When the episodes are over, she is a very loving person and just does not understand why the kids cannot or will not just forget what has happened. The kids are both at a point that they

karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4087065126256133874.post-42068801216981249172009-03-30T19:21:00.001-06:002009-05-12T09:12:23.453-06:00

Just read an article in our local weekly paper about the dilemma some families are facing as the economic conditions intensify: having to choose between buying food or birth control. Talk about a terrible double bind! How sad and ironic to decide that you must risk creating more mouths to feed in order to take care of the children you already have.I dunno why every single high school health class

karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4087065126256133874.post-34352861987999709512009-03-17T19:18:00.005-06:002009-05-12T08:19:10.500-06:00

just heard about this today, and thought it was really neat:http://www.wordle.net/You type in a bunch of words and this program turns them into colorful word clouds, which you can then print for free.I'm thinking it could be a neat gift from parent to child -- a graphic representation of their strengths and wonderful qualities. Suitable for framing, even!The most frequently used words show up

karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4087065126256133874.post-28855437324422514362009-03-12T11:43:00.006-06:002009-05-12T08:35:08.092-06:00

My 6-year-old son has been recently traumatized by viewing a video clip of an extremely scary scene. My older daughter showed him this clip. My son is now extremely upset at night, can not sleep, covers his head with blankets, and can not be alone in any room of the house. He will not even go outside alone. He keeps asking when the images will go away in his head. This has been going on for 3

karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4087065126256133874.post-64278414377586476652009-03-08T16:51:00.005-06:002009-05-12T08:38:38.856-06:00

I'm not one to put a lot of stock in research or studies, because in my opinion there are truly too many variables to take into account and it's impossible to delineate a pure cause and effect relationship.However, I do like to use studies as a trigger for personal contemplation and experimentation. Below is some interesting food for thought about forward facing strollers and their potential

karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4087065126256133874.post-60217266128825309272009-03-07T21:04:00.003-07:002009-05-12T09:03:54.005-06:00

I read an article recently suggesting that parents who did not have a Facebook or MySpace profile were missing the boat. It even went so far as to say that conscientious parents should be requiring their teens to "friend" them, which means they can have full access to each others' profiles, thus seeing all their conversations and pictures, as well as those of the other kids they communicate with

karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4087065126256133874.post-59782579452440520782009-03-06T10:43:00.000-07:002009-03-06T10:44:33.333-07:00

I'm buffing up my LinkedIn profile. Come visit me there if you'd like! I'm open to expanding my contact list ...http://www.linkedin.com/pub/dir/?last=alonge&first=karenFor more information about Karen's parenting consultations, click here or visit www.karenalonge.com

karen alongehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00485124129312512743karen@karenalonge.com0