Faydra and Company

Off To The Market

2009-07-08T07:13:00.001-07:00

Come and meet the Faydra and Company team at the Wednesday night market in front of the Red Bluff courthouse.

Get your copy of our first CD for a reduced price, just 10.00!

Come meet me and the dream team: Rhonda, Diane and "Supa J" Justin.

See you there!

Mastermind Groups

2009-06-16T15:40:00.001-07:00

Mastermind groups are a great way to be, do and have anything that you want. I have started my own group on my Facebook page.

What is masterminding? It is the art of bringing talented people together to strategize achievement of goals. It is the ultimate in networking, accountability and motivation all rolled together. You do not need a common goal as a group. You only need your desire and the willingness to listen.

Mastermind groups should be configured with at least 5 people, or more. Ideally, these people should be motivated in their own right and should have a natural desire to help themselves and others. It does no good to join a mastermind group if you truly do not want to be, do or have something better in your life.

Once you have your group, you need to craft some goals. I have asked my team to come up with three goals each. They need to be specific enough that you can make an action plan for them. My goals read like this:

1. I want to change my employment;

2. I want to launch a national radio show with Kimberly Archie;

3. I want to launch Faydra and Company nationally.

Once I have my goals, I will develop action plans for each one, or for one at a time. Either way works fine.

Next the group will begin to mastermind one person's goals and action steps per day, per meeting, or however works best for the group. For the Facebook crew, we will tackle one person's goals at a time throughout the day. The person who is the focus (known as the person of focus or POF) will let the group know which goal they are working. The group will give suggestions, make recommendations and use their connections to assist the person who is the focus. The POF will give regular updates that day about what steps they are taking, how the others are helping, and report out as to their success.

If your group is meeting in person, do the same model ~ focus on one POF a meeting and use technology to stay in touch with all the support and follow up. Rotate the POF each time you meet and you will be checking off goals like magic. It may take a few rotations for you to get where you want to go, but all that support is contagious, infectious and exhilarating.

Good Luck!!!

Problems? Get Busy . . .

2009-05-29T08:59:00.000-07:00

We all have situations in our lives that hit us upside the head and knock us flat. When this happens, we have lots of inclinations. Don't let hiding and shrinking from life be one of them. Get busy like a busy bee.

When you face a tough struggle, learn to compartmentalize the issue into the rest of your life. Sure, you need to pay attention to the "issue" or it will fester and become a bigger problem, but you also need to do the laundry, pay the bills, and make some dinner. You need to run your company, be a leader and turn a profit.

Structure your issue into your day. Schedule time to think about the issue and take action if you can and then set it aside. Give equal time to things that are good and working so it is all in harmony.

It's The Climb

2009-05-05T15:43:00.000-07:00

Who knew a grown woman would be a Miley Cyrus fan? I am the biggest fan of her new song, The Climb. It is my current inspiration when I am motivating myself to what I want to be, do and have. It is my ringtone on my cell and I have listened to the video at least once today. Out of the mouth of a sweet 16, comes the words I need to persevere.

"Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose" she sings. That's the truth. Sometimes it isn't going to go your way. Sometimes it feels like what you want is so out of reach and your "faith gets shaken". People shake you, situations shake you, unforeseen circumstances shake you. It's OK to get knocked down.

Kimberly Archie, founder of the National Cheer Safety Foundation and a girlfriend of mine, told me that "it's called the fire and your true self gets stronger when it's hot and very good things always happens right after that. So watch out for good things ahead!" What great advice.

I hope you enjoy this video and remember, it's the climb . . .

New Column Today

2009-04-15T10:57:00.000-07:00

Make sure to see if you are a liar in the Red Bluff Daily News

Proud FOR Her Not OF Her

2009-04-13T10:45:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I had a great time watching my daughter at a track meet. I wrote about her success in track and field in my column last week. I hadn't had the opportunity to see her in shot put action. I was so thrilled to stand there with her coach and listen to him tell me how coachable she is, how she has so much ahead of her and how he is excited to work with her.

Of course I was proud OF her as her mother, but I was more proud FOR her. She is the one who does the work. She is the one who has the commitment, determination, ability, and drive. She has it in all aspects of her life. I may have shown her opportunities, given her insight, and led her by example, but she had to walk this walk. She had to decide that it was worth it and that she was worth it.

It is so exciting to see her come alive with being excited about the future. It is as if she knows that all things are possible and that there is nothing she can't achieve. I want to awaken this feeling in every single person I ever meet. This is my life's work and I see the result in my very own daughter.

Saturn L200

2009-03-31T16:25:00.000-07:00

If you read my column on Wednesday, you'll see that I learned a lesson over the weekend. I learned that people evolve and change and mature.

We gave our daughter a budget to find a new car - one that will take her into early adulthood and off to college. She found one that had all of the features that she wanted. I never would have picked this car for her, assuming it would look to "old" for her. I even asked her more than once before the deal was done if she was sure this was the car she wanted. She said that she LOVES her car.

I was taught that we never really know people. We never really can predict what they will say, do, or be. It is a good lesson to allow people to be who they want without our assumptions. It makes us listen to them, wait to see what they do, and not make judgments.

One step closer to reality tv . . .

2009-03-23T09:54:00.000-07:00

Remember my post to Scott Manville about my reality TV show idea? Here's what he has to say.

Scott Manville said...
Hi Faydra-
You're not stuck at all, you're now ready to get out there and find the right company for your project. It comes down to this- If you're not willing to expose your project, you'll never sell it. All you can do is take measures to minimize risk, such as archiving it at http://www.creatorsvault.com and keep all records of exposure, such as the project status reports at the TV Writers Vault ( http://www.tvwritersvault.com ) and Screen Writers Vault ( http://www.screenwritersvault.com ). Never dump the project on companies that haven't accepted your request for submission, and keep records of all emails, faxes, and mailings. You should also assume that others are already developing the same or similar concepts, and you need to start the fight to get it to the mountain top first.

March 12, 2009 2:55 PM

See What It's All About

2009-03-17T13:43:00.001-07:00

I just signed up on Facebook and am reconnecting with long-lost friends and people who share similar interests with me. Check out the fun and maybe we can become friends too!

They're Geeks and They Like to Party

2009-03-16T12:13:00.000-07:00

My daughter has always called herself a "geek" when she and these boys were little. I used to call them the "Keg of Milk Crew". I could not believe how great this video was and I am really proud of how well these kids are turning out as the ready themselves to graduate from high school.

I love the reference to Dungeons and Dragons, as she is the proud owner of new "dungeon dice", as I call them, that her step-daddy-to-be bought her.

Great job boys!!!!

Will My Reality be a Reality?

2009-03-11T09:42:00.000-07:00

I blogged to you about a reality TV show I created and registered. Then I hit a brick wall. I did not know where to go from there. I wanted to find out how to get in front of someone who could hear about my idea and help me sell it. But how?

So, it has sat there and I have waited.

Today on my way to work, I was meditating and thinking about all that I have in life and all that I want to accomplish, including seeing this show on TV! When I opened my e-mail, I found this link to a new blog by Scott Manville. His blog is designed for people just like me trying to do what I am trying to do!

So, I am pretty excited and hope that this is the break that I and my reality show have been looking for. I'll keep you posted.

Something to Consider ~

2009-03-10T12:59:00.000-07:00

Teach your kids
Teach yourself
Teach your employees and co-workers
Teach the world

Nothing worth having comes easily . . .

We've Been Published!

2009-03-02T11:16:00.000-08:00

We're excited. We are contributing writers to Scott "Q" Marcus' great new magazine Two Words.

This motivating magazine is filled with inspiration and stories about how two words can change everything. Get your copy now!

Want To Get Snarky With Me?

2009-02-26T13:49:00.000-08:00

It's up and running, the Snarky blog......

My Snarky Evolution

2009-02-24T12:20:00.000-08:00

I am at a crossroads in my literary life. I have been doing this blog since 2007 and the All About Divorce blog since 2008. Both blogs are dedicated to awakening in you your true potential and helping you heal and become whomever you want to be.

I know that it is possible to evolve, because I have and continue to evolve every day. I grow through the trials and experiences that I have, and through observing the happenings of others. Together, with my partners, I sift through the muck and find the "something" that makes it worthwhile and makes the growth meaningful.

I do not sit in a light-filled room channeling higher powers who compel me to write to you or to craft my column. In fact, I face a lot of criticism by people, and you know who you are, because you read my stuff, even though you say I am a fraud. I also embrace a lot of positive support. I write for myself, for the haters, and for the fanimals (as I lovingly call you).

These last weeks, I have felt torn about who I really am. The truth is this: I am fairly snarky (snarky and sparkle are my two most favorite words) person, and I have a pretty good way with sarcasm, wordsmithing, and looking within myself. As a multitude of emails to Diane can attest to, my realizations of all that I know about success come from endless reading, my vigilant search to "know better", and all the crap I have faced in this lifetime.

I have written pages that would spread for miles and miles that were filled with snarky commentary about what was happening in my life that totally sucked, was unfair, or just plain pissed me off. I have had really crappy things go on and, at the time, my release was to vent, search for meaning and find a way to make it better or go away.

My snarky evolution has always been the same. Event + snarky processing + searching for better = growth.

Those who know me well and those who think they know me have both seen the same thing. Something in my life in my small town causes me discomfort. I process my feelings by whatever means I do; sometimes verbal, sometimes written, then something amazing usually happens to me. I figure it out. Maybe not all at once and maybe not as fast as I and others would like, but the overall trend is upward.

Sometimes I figure stuff out without something bad happening. BONUS!!!!! Sometimes I don't need the snark.

So, as things have evolved and I have evolved, I know so much more than I did in the beginning. I am more humble, I actually talk less and listen more (yeah, yeah, I hear the haters now). I am more calm about many things, but I am human and flawed and I don't have the patience of the wisest of people.

Guess what? Neither do you. None of us has their act together all the time. Not one of the most famous motivational people has it all together all the time. They get pissed, they get let down and they lose their cool.

Instead of defending my snarky evolution, I am embracing it. I am even considering a companion blog called "Snarky Evolution" where I can show you my rants and you can see the process for taking icky crap and making it work for you instead of against you. You can see firsthand how something that seems like pure evil can be a learning experience. It is the law of polarity. You can't know what you want without knowing what you don't want. I can't know peace if I haven't known mayhem. I can't know health if I haven't known dysfunction.

So, if you have learned a lesson through adversity, share it with this group. Show us how you experienced rudeness and learned to be kind. How someone did the unforgivable and you found forgiveness.

Embrace the snarky . . .

Va-Jay-Jay Monologues

2009-02-23T10:00:00.001-08:00

So, I did not think that I was going to like it at all. I thought that it would be a vulgar way of man-hating, using uber-feminism to make a point about women being oppressed and using their vaginas as their voice of womanhood. I was wrong.

Last Friday night, Red Bluff hosted The Vagina Monologues, with a local cast, including my 17-year-old daughter, Kelsey. This picture was taken by Tony Maxey, whose wife was in the monologues. Here she (Kelsey) is reclaiming the word "cunt". I watched through spread fingers over my eyes, hearing her alliterate the word and soliciting the loud laughs and applause of the audience. I was both flushed and proud at the same time.

While not all of the monologues spoke to me, they were all well done and the casting was spot on.

The thing was that I thought I was only there to support my daughter. I did not think that I needed to set my vagina free, so to speak, and I did not feel that I had been oppressed by men, marketing, or whatever. I like sex, I like me, and I like that I have a vagina, I guess.

But, something remarkable happened that reminds me that the universe works in such fascinating ways. Days before the show, I turned 40. On that day, I got a gift card to Barnes and Noble. I took my card and my 40-year-old self in and bought a new book. I was really happy because there was a new book by Immaculee Ilibagiza. I have written about her before and you can see that blog here. Immaculee has come into my life on more than one occasion when I have needed spiritual support. Today was no different. I placed her new book, Led By Faith, by my bed in anticipation of a good weekend read. I went to The Vagina Monologues, and listened to the horrible acts happening to women in the Congo. I was compelled and interested in what I could do. I mean, if a cast of local women in Red Bluff could take the time to raise awareness, I wanted to take action.

Then I came home and readied myself for the rainy weekend. I picked up Immaculee's book and there on the pages was a reference to the Congo and what was happening. I am still thinking about all of this today. Some how, some way, I can make a difference. What can you and I do to raise awareness and make a change . . .

Top Ten Reasons We Need Haters

2009-02-17T10:32:00.000-08:00

10. Haters can keep us humble and help us see if there is room for improvement.

9. Haters give us contrast by showing us what we want, support - by giving us what we don't, flack.

8. Haters make Google ratings go up.

7. Haters remind us that no matter who you are, and what you do, there is always someone who wants to make you feel as bad as they feel.

6. Haters remind us that it takes guts to put yourself out there and that there is no gain without some hater pain.

5. Haters help us see that a life of mediocrity, is not a life worth living. Go Big or Stay Home.

3. Haters help us toughen our skin and take it on the chin.

2. Haters remind us that just because you say something bad, it doesn't mean you have credibility to do so.

1. Haters are great because they give you material for your columns and blogs.

If you can't laugh at yourself . . .

Really Interesting Stuff

2009-02-06T18:55:00.000-08:00

OK, if you really want to see something interesting - check out this link and see a two-day banter about me and my Red Bluff Daily News column. See how what seemed to be a really bad thing actually reunited me (in a way) with someone I had disconnected from. The universe is an extraordinary place.

Check out this link.Faydra's column

My Shoes Motivate Me

2009-02-05T11:34:00.000-08:00

I have a new pair of black, peep-toe, 4-inch heels that have motivated me to work smarter. I bought these shoes a couple of weeks ago on a trip to the city. They are shoes I could not find in Northern California, and they are beautiful. What is more, they are comfortable.
I am a shoe fanatic. I will even post a picture of my closet on the blog tomorrow to prove my point. Anyway, I have so many styles of shoes and they are all fabulous, but very few fit and feel like these do. I want all of my shoes to feel like these shoes and I want to be able to run to the city whenever I feel like it to get a pair. In order to do that, I need to bump up my income and my free time a bit. I am motivated by my shoes . . .

Rip Me Apart, I'll Use It To Grow

2009-02-04T09:18:00.000-08:00

OK, so my partners and I had a meeting about whether or not we should allow anyone to anonymously rip our content apart and mock me and what I am trying to do with this blog. Originally, I said NO WAY. I mean, come on, why subject myself to haters who cannot spell, obviously live locally, and have some axe to grind over something trivial or inane.

BUT, the other partners said this: "We can learn from the responses we receive (good/bad), or choose to chalk it up as “you can't please ’m all.” I want to be a life-long learner and I want to not hide behind my fears of being ridiculed, so I have lifted the ban on anonymous blog-haters who want to hack at me.

I actually think it is a good thing, because it challenges me to be tough, be true to who I am, and to allow others to be who they are. Maybe, just maybe, I will inspire someone to either stop picking on others, or understand that no matter who you are, you will never be able to please everyone.

I Joined Facebook

2009-02-04T08:53:00.000-08:00

I just signed up on Facebook and am reconnecting with long-lost friends and people who share similar interests with me. Check out the fun and maybe we can become friends too!

Really?

2009-02-03T10:24:00.000-08:00

"faydra you are probaby the most narcisstic individual in all red bluff. Please seek help for yor borerline PD problem and quit with the ridiculous remedies to lifes problems. Where is your $200,000?". . ."get out of town sista and go back to school"

OK, so I am sitting on my couch last night watching Bromance as a courtesy to my 15-year-old daughter (bonding time), and all of a sudden I get an alert for a comment posted on the blog. See above. Really? So, I am supposed to be stunned and affected by someone who cannot spell (note: probably, your, narcissistic, and borderline, to name a few) and does not know how to capitalize or puncuate. Really? Of course, to top it off, they send the comment anonymously. Wow, impressive.

As I sat there waiting for Brody to finally pick a Bro and put me out of my teenage misery, I thought about a wonderful Youtube video by sistersalad and I laughed my butt off.

The coolest thing is that there was a time when a comment like this would have devastated me and made me want to quit. I would take the insult to heart and think, "You're right, I'm a fraud." Well, not anymore. You can't steep yourself in the biz of achievement and not have this stuff rub off. Critics are part of the deal when you put yourself out there. Some Will, Some Won't, So What, Someone's Waiting. That's what I learned early on from The Success Principles by Jack Canfield.

As for my 200K, sorry to report, I did not make that in 2008, BUT, I did increase my income and learned so many great lessons in my quest. I traveled more that year, I finished my book, In The Meantime, and saw every one of my kids' sporting and acting events. I am working smarter, not harder - and I am loving life. So if that is failure, really?

One thing my partners and I have decided though, is to no longer allow anonymous comments on our site. Team Work Makes the Dream Work, as one of my heroes Rev Run says, not people who hate their lives so much they have to hate your's too.

So, keep the comments coming and let 'em fly, but you'll have to put your money where your mouth is from now on "Sista."

I need to heed my own advice from the post below.

You're Right, So What

2009-01-28T09:56:00.000-08:00

I have a thing about what is "right." I feel like I spend an inordinate amount of time learning, growing, taking things in, and becoming a better person. The cool thing is that along the way I have improved relationships that I already have, and have made new relationships with got-it-goin' on people. Unfortunately, one unpleasant fact remains. Not everyone is evolving. Not everyone is on board the sanity train. Some people are on the crazy train and not everyone plays fair.

You can be the most enlightened creature on the planet and be thought a fool. You can be right, and it just doesn't mean anything. Not all crazy people live in institutions. Not all people with "stuff" wear a sign warning you to limit your contact with them.

So, what to do? Develop your ability to allow others to be as crazy, stupid, selfish, or whatever, and do not give it an ounce of energy. Do not get on the crazy train, the view from the sane train is prettier and the destination is better.

Recently, I found myself defending my sanity over and again against people whose logic is so flawed. I started to distrust my own reality. I NEEDED to be validated that I was sane and in essence "right." I hated that people were taking advantage, being rude, and messing with me(this is all my personal "stuff"). I wanted those people to be in trouble, or to have consequences for shaking my tree. Boo hoo, it was never going to happen. I was allowing their craziness to victimize me. But, I was victimizing myself. I was allowing myself to respond to their stuff when they pushed my buttons.

What I have learned is that I can be right and it won't make a damn bit of difference to someone else. I can be backed up by a jury of my peers and no one will enforce my rightness. Instead of feeling robbed and defeated, I am going to feel proud that I have integrity and remember that what you put out always comes back to you, just not always from the same source you gave it to.

Un-Comfort Your Food

2008-12-30T16:02:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!
OK, lately I and one of my business partners have been feeling the crunch of too much on our metaphorical plate. The result has been putting too much on our dinner plate.

I was walking today and I had a revelation about food and how it leads to our growing waistline and shrinking esteem.

What I realized is that as we lose our ability to care for ourselves in meaningful ways, we begin to pick up that slack with food. In other words, when we find that we have no "me" time, we begin to take care of ourselves in the most rudimentary ways possible. Usually this is with poor food choices.

Face it, when all the planets are aligned and the time gods are in our favor, we take better care of ourselves. We exercise, we pamper, we primp, we bathe longer and sleep more. Because we meet our needs in these ways, we have the ability to cope and to make better choices.

When we are maxed out in time or credit cards, or both, we begin to shrink. We begin to stop allowing the time necessary for us to take the best care of ourselves. So, one way or another, the ego wants what it wants and if you are not going to feed it with experiences, then it wants you to feed it with food.

Have you noticed that when you are super maxed out, you make the worst food choices. It is because subconsciously you realize that the next thing you put into your mouth can feel like love or rejection. The texture, the warmth, the taste can take you away for a moment in time and it feels worth it at the time. It feels "lovely." It may be impossible in your mind to exercise if it is dark at 5 PM - "deprived" - BUT, you can grab a Twix really easily and the immediate sugar rush makes you feel energized. It may be impossible in your mind to afford what you used to have and do - "deprivation" - BUT, thanks to the dollar menu, you can have a yummy cheeseburger pretty easily.

When I realized that I was loving myself with food, I realized that I really need to love myself better. So I and my partner are making some changes. Small ones that will not make us feel rejected by ourselves, and we are trying to reclaim our "me" time to offset the reasons that we want Ben and Jerry so much . . .

One step at a time.

Lessons for Life

2008-12-16T14:54:00.000-08:00

Written by a newspaper columnist in MN

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 70 in August, so here goes:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But, the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take "no" for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special. 22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness, except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone for everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of whom God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative--dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up . . .
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.