Sublime Noises

So This Is Christmas...

2008-12-24T00:09:00.003-05:00

Well, Christmas Eve. What to do to celebrate the Christmas season?

How about listening to the Beatles' Christmas albums? All of them. From '63-69 and beyond. You can find them here: http://www.beatlesource.com/bs/mains/audio/xmas/xmas.html

It's fascinating to hear the Beatles evolve from happy go lucky band to experimental group. The first few years are near-drunken efforts, full of thank-yous and song fragments. 1968 is a full blown tape collage ala Revolution 9. It's a sort of alternate document of the Beatles' rapid rise and dissolution.

Check it out.

5 Songs 2008 Made Me Hate Myself For Liking

2008-12-18T12:40:00.000-05:00

I listen to music. Plenty of music. So much music that words often fail me when I try to describe exactly what kind of music I like. I like everything...but not that, that, and certainly not that.

My taste has led some to call me names. "Elitest," they say. "Playlist Nazi!" they call. This usually happens when I am chucking their Dave Matthews Band CD out the window, or when I'm trying to prove a point (don't call my music collection "white").

Still, I am just like everybody else--I have weaknesses. 2007's dirty secret was my unabashed love of 'Lil Mama's "Lip Gloss." The first CD I ever bought with my own $10 was WWF the Music: Volume 2. I have a history of buying CDs for the cover, bad albums from good bands, quirky throwaway singles for the b-sides.

In short, I fall for music, regardless of my tastes. Here are five songs from this year, presented in no particular order, that I am not ashamed to love.

Britney Spears - Womanizer

Britney Spears |MTV Music

Last year I might have said some bad things about Britney Spears' first attempt at a comeback, Blackout. A year later, I find myself taking back nearly everything I said, unless it was funny, because Blackout served as a pretty damn strong prototype for this year's Circus, which is Spears' true comeback I guess, because she's sober.

Listen to this song. Tell me that if you heard it at a party or a club or some trendy establishment that you wouldn't be in the least bit tempted to dance. You can't. You know why? Because underneath the annoyingly catchy chorus that most people sing with no sense of tonality lies a huge, screaming monster of a club jam that owes more than a little to Soft Cell's "Tainted Love." Maybe I'm just assuming that everything with lasers owes something to Soft Cell, but fuck, there's something in this song that moves.

Rihanna - Disturbia

Rihanna |MTV Music

At this point, I think, I'm supposed to be tired of autotune, but fuck it. This song combines a good beat, Rihanna, and what the MPAA would call "mild elements of horror," and the music video makes me laugh. What weird, campy thing won't Rihanna co-opt for a video?

Yes, Tokyo drifting is pretty fucking campy.

Weezer - Pork and Beans

Weezer |MTV Music

I've been disinterested in Weezer for a long, long time, but between Rivers Cuomo's mustache, the awesomely awful cover to their new album, and this song, I was almost convinced that they were ready to return in a big, big way.

Weezer is one of those bands that falters under the weight of their brilliant debut. Sure, they have their fans, their apologists, and their decent sophomore effort, but they kind of suck, and people who aren't fans or apologists have given them shit about it since 2003.

"Pork and Beans" is, in many ways, a response to those critics, including me. Everything about the song, from its slacker attitude to its meme splicing music video, hearkens back to the Blue Album. It's lazier sounding than anything they've done, but that's the point. It's like that Bon Jovi song "Have a Nice Day," but with personality.

Kanye West - Heartless

Kanye West |MTV Music

I like this song for the lead-up to its release more than for the music itself. Having graduated, Kanye decided to detour to 808's and Heartbreak before something more worthwhile--Grad School, Med School, or TV/VCR Repair. 808's is a departure for Kanye, because it's more about singing than rapping, and Kanye doesn't sing all that well. Granted, autotune makes it so that you don't have to sing very well, but soon Akon and T-Pain will meet a reckoning for unleashing this plight upon the earth.

I like the song because, for weeks, Kanye hyped it up on his blog, releasing version after version to his adoring public. Two years ago, an artist wouldn't be caught dead doing something like that, but all of the newfangled fuck the record label price scheming and album releasing has made it such that a guy as huge as Kanye could upload this to his blog until he got the finished product.

Say what you will, but that's progress.

Britney Spears - Circus

Britney Spears |MTV Music

See everything I wrote about "Womanizer." That Ms. Spears has managed to remain relevant while most of her teen pop peers have fallen is probably more a testament to America's tabloid mentality than to any inherent skill, but she is a hitmaker. If she manages to keep relatively clean while showing a knack for adapting and changing to America's pop music needs, she may just be my generation's Madonna.

You just have to wonder if Britney will be as ripped as Madonna 20 years from now.

2008 Was a Year of Listening to Music, Which Is Rated Herein

2008-12-17T01:07:00.014-05:00

Because of a man named Jesus and some monk friends of his, in a few weeks an arbitrary denomination of time (itself a man-made concept) will pass. It's time to bid adieu to 2008 and sashay our way into 2009. Jews, don't fret: it's still 5769!

This means that we must look over the new music that came out over the year and rank it. 10 is the number, probably because us Normals have 10 fingers.

10: Vampire Weekend, Vampire Weekend

Vampire Weekend - Oxford Comma
I purposely ranked Vampire Weekend tenth, just to spite them. I really want to hate them: their ubiquity, their Urban-Outfitters-ass-looking album cover, the fact that both David Byrne and Paul Simon appropriated Afropop much better and earlier than them. Perhaps most of all, they are unabashedly upper-class New Englanders, who even sing about the fact! I have a class consciousness, and I shouldn't relate to these guys. Lyrically, I don't. But I love the sound of the music. It takes a lot for me to listen to rock music these days; chiefly it must be danceable and innovative. Vampire Weekend are danceable, and though they aren't completely new, they're different from their peers. Good enough.

9: Neon Neon, Stainless Style

Neon Neon - Raquel
Neon Neon is Boom Bip, a producer of mostly hip-hop, and Gruff Rhys, the lead singer of Super Furry Animals. Super Furry Animals are a pretty dope rock band in their own right, from Wales. This is a concept album about John Delorean, and as such is going to be awesome even before you hear the music. The music is great, though. It's New Wave as it actually sounded in the '80s, not filtered through irony or attempting retro-ness. It's got guests from the worlds of rap and rock, and if you want a soundtrack for a coke-fueled party that also has some ennui, here it is.

8: Sébastien Tellier, Sexuality

Sébastien Tellier - Roche
Imagine that Daft Punk did the score for a porno. That is essentially what this album is; it's produced by Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo. Most of the lyrics are in French, which I am admittedly not fluent in. It sounds so raw, filthy, and yet seductive. Sébastien is a pervy dude. Some of these songs bring to mind Serge Gainsbourg, especially when he was singing about Brigitte Bardot. This is the perfect background for rutting by candlelight.

7: Koushik, Out My Window

Koushik - Be With
Koushik Ghosh is an Indian-Canadian chap that makes beats for Stones Throw Records. If this album was just instrumental hip-hop, in the vein of J Dilla, Madlib, et al it would be great. However, it straddles the lines between hip-hop, ambient sounds, trip-hop, and other stuff. His vocals are so ethereal on here, I can't make out much of what he says. He just takes me to new atmospheric levels of happiness! This is the perfect record for driving in the summer, or swinging a little kid around by the arms in a meadow.

6: Q-Tip, The Renaissance

Q-Tip - Move
It shouldn't need to be said that Q-Tip was at his best with Phife Dawg and Ali Shaheed Muhammad. A Tribe Called Quest isn't reuniting (yet?), so we get this. It's arguably the best hip-hop album of the year. Tip's rhymes are smart, funny, fluid and everything else you could want. J Dilla, the greatest beatmaker that ever lived, graces the album with the song "Move". This is how you make a "real" hip-hop album; not by pandering to backpackers, not with excessive paeans to the golden age. Hip-hop is alive, and Q-Tip is dope.

5: Wale, The Mixtape About Nothing

Wale - The Opening Title Sequence
Wale is a rapper from the D.C. area that incorporates hilarious and deft wordplay with cool beats that borrow a bit from D.C.'s native go-go style. Go-go is a funk/hip-hop hybrid that is extremely local. Anyway, his first proper album doesn't come out until next year, but this mixtape is great in that it is inspired by Seinfeld. "The Kramer" takes Michael Richards' racist rant and spins it into a balanced look at modern prejudice. "The Cliché Lil Wayne Feature" really does feature Lil Wayne and is hilarious. All in all, worth the free download at his myspace!

4: Santogold, Santogold

Santogold - Anne
Earlier in this space, I popped Santogold in as my favourite album/artist of 2008. She's great, but not that great. Critics call her a biter of M.I.A.'s style; I think it's just because they're both beautiful brown ladies that make music tangentially related to hip-hop. Santogold's mix of new wave, ska, hip-hop, and Pixies-esque rock (did I miss anything?) seems like it would be overreaching. It's a testament to her awesomosity that it rocks and begs multiple listens.

3: Silver Jews, Lookout Mountain, Lookout Sea

Silver Jews - What Is Not but Could Be If
If Bob Dylan wasn't still making music and as relevant as ever, then Silver Jews' David Berman would be this generation's Bob Dylan. His lyrics could be the stuff of Great English Literature. The music is pure Americana, evoking the countryside to the hipster enclaves. Berman's latest album is one in which he sounds ecstatic to be past his depression and discovering his Judaism in a way that makes sense to him. This is earthy, inspiring, gutbusting rock that means something.

2: Hercules and Love Affair, Hercules and Love Affair

Hercules and Love Affair - Blind
I was watching one of those VH1 nostalgia shows, and there was footage from the '70s of rock fans basically rioting inside a football stadium. They were burning disco records and going crazy with hatred for the despised genre. Like Donna Summer sang, I'm coming out, in favour of disco. Beyond that, I'll be so bold to say that anti-disco feelings were and are homophobic, sexist and racist. People said rock was the only real music, because disco was the music of gay men, women, and black people. As such, it couldn't be as badass as the white man's rock and roll. Rock stars were doing cocaine too, disco musicians just wanted people to dance while they snorted! Hercules and Love Affair is a modern yet faithful blend of house music and disco, featuring occasional vocals by Antony & the Johnsons' Antony Hegarty. Soaring and debauched, and funky as all hell. This is music for covering yourself in glitter and dancing until your ass falls off.

1: Girl Talk, Feed the Animals

Girl Talk - Hands in the Air
Do I really need to sell people on Girl Talk? Gregg Gillis is a national treasure by this point, at least in the crowds I run with. Like most people, I came to him via 2006's Night Ripper. I wouldn't be disappointed if that album played at every party I ever went to, and it seemed for a while that it did. There can be no fruitful debate over whether Night Ripper or Feed the Animals is the better album; it's Godfather vs. Godfather II. Feed the Animals is an instant party, blending everything awesome and making pop trash transcendent.

The Raconteurs - Consolers of the Lonely (2008)

2008-12-02T14:48:00.004-05:00

If Jack White's intention in forming the Raconteurs with Brendan Benson, Jack Lawrence, and Patrick Keeler was to sound as different from the White Stripes as possible, sophomore effort Consolers of the Lonely finds the group failing, but doing so with flair.

The myth of the White Stripes, according to the media that adores them, is that the duo is a tightly controlled, orchestrated garage rock outfit featuring drums, guitar, and piano. They broke that convention with Get Behind Me Satan, an album focusing on marimbas and fractured pop music, and Icky Thump, which worked within the Stripes ethos but worked in organs, horns, bagpipes, and, on the Conquest EP, a third musician.

With all that out of the way, Consolers of the Lonely sounds a lot more like a White Stripes album than debut effort Broken Boy Soldiers did, and benefits as a result. Here and there are the horns, organs, and blistering guitar work of Icky Thump, but with less Delta blues and more (way more) 70's rock.

The album came together at the last minute and was released a week after it was announced. The quick turnaround is and isn't evident at turns. This is the most lavish of Jack White's production efforts, yet the album lacks a sense of cohesiveness, as though White or Benson came up with an idea in studio and pursued it to the bitter end.

There's a touch of Dylan ("Carolina Drama"), Ennio Moricone ("The Switch and the Spur"), garage rock ("Hold On"), and countless hand waves to the classics that Black and Benson grew up on. A nice touch: Typical Benson tune "Many Shades of Black" has White on vocals, giving the song just enough edge to make it stand apart.

Often, it's hard to tell where White's voice ends and Benson's begins. White's presence dominates the album though, mostly because the album focuses more on guitar solos than Broken Boy Soldiers did. Again, a good thing. This is a supergroup with one superstar, but in 2006, it sounded like White was hiding behind his less heralded bandmates, and while songs about werewolves and secretaries are cool, songs about killing a man with a milk bottle are way, way cooler.

I said earlier that this sounds more like a White Stripes album than the Raconteurs' first album did, and I'm not lying. The White Stripe's tour supporting Icky Thump was cut short due to Meg White having a mental breakdown of some sort, and this, well, is the fall back. As a result, it sounds a lot like Icky Thump, without the meandering experimentation of "St. Andrew (The Battle Is in the Air)." The album is also more bloated than a typical White-led album, clocking in at 55:30. Yes, too much of a good thing is a bad thing.

Otherwise, I wouldn't be upset at all if we went White Stripes/Raconteurs from now until the end of time. The promise of Broken Boy Soldiers (Hey, Jack White might sound good in a proper band!) has officially been fulfilled. It's no longer fair to call this a side project - the Raconteurs' ambitions outstrip the label.

Rating: ****

Salute Your Solution

Guns n' Roses - Chinese Democracy (2008)

2008-12-01T23:43:00.004-05:00

For 13 years, Chinese Democracy was an album as unattainable as the concept the name intones. Like Brian Wilson's Smile, rumors, speculation, and the occasional song wafted through the air like vapor, taunting and tantalizing fans who hoped beyond hope that The Spaghetti Incident? wouldn't be the band's final statement.

After a rush of propaganda, including songs released to Guitar Hero and Dr. Pepper's promise to give everybody in America a free drink on them if Axl delivered the goods, Axl, well, delivered the goods. The verdict?

Worst album I've heard this year.

You've probably noticed that the first two things I mentioned in this review are the wait (14 years) and the promotional effort (massive) behind the album. Am I jaded? Am I bitter? Not particularly. Life is, surprisingly, the same with a new Guns n' Roses album as it was without. While Rolling Stone, Entertainment Weekly, The A.V. Club, and All Music Guide can blow Axl's horn all they want, lauding the album with four star review after four star review, I did the brave thing: I listened to the whole goddamn album.

It starts well enough. As a matter of fact, "Chinese Democracy" and "Shackler's Revenge" are fine songs - the sort of thing I'd want to hear in a mosh pit. Considering the state of mainstream rock music these days, that is a high compliment.

Things take a turn for the ballad-y with "Better," but it's fine, as far as ballads go. With "Street of Dreams" though, Axl crosses into straight up "November Rain" territory, and to make matters worse, it sounds like he's using Auto-Tune. It's an odd effect for a rock album, let alone a Guns 'n Roses effort. "If the World" uses both Spanish guitar and strings to such an effect that it sounds as though Rose replaced Seal in the studio.

Without going into every painful detail, the album veers from rocker to ballad with varying success. Some songs start with some absolutely weird vocal arrangements ("Scraped"), while others sound like the bloated AOR that was supposedly vanquished with Appetite for Destruction ("Catcher in the Rye"). None are particularly good, minus the minute or so interlude in "Madagascar" where you can hear the famous opening words from "Civil War."

Yes, it's really been 13 years since Axl entered the first of 14 studios necessary to complete the album. Yes, the album saw 66 people replace Slash & Co. If anything, Chinese Democracy proves that giving unlimited money and turning a blind eye to a man who wouldn't save a concert if Metallica were on fire is akin to giving AIG some of that sweet, sweet bailout candy: There's enough money to do the job, but the guys at the top just weren't made for these times.

For Axl, the time was 1991. The place was Sam Goody. The people were lined up around the block for Use Your Illusion. I've always argued that, pared down to a more manageable 14 tracks, Use Your Illusion would have been one of the best albums of the 1990's. Here, 17 years after "November Rain" and "Civil War," Axl effectively proves me wrong. With nothing to lose but other people's money, Chinese Democracy is a meandering album made for an audience that no longer exists.

Chinese Democracy is no longer a myth; it's a nightmare.

Rating: *

Chinese Democracy

Styx

2008-12-01T20:06:00.002-05:00

Toby Keith, you're a Pornographer

2008-11-23T21:35:00.012-05:00

God Love Her as she fellats.

From Old...to Gold

2008-11-11T22:13:00.005-05:00

They're a bit late, but the Raconteurs are now promoting their second album, Consolers Of The Lonely, via a rather clever YouTube channel/website combination.

On display is Jack White's depreciating sense of humor, as well as a few notes from the albums title track. The above spot premiered on boingboing, which makes no sense, but then again, neither does the decision to promote an eight month old album. Maybe that's the point...from old to gold. It'll be interesting to see what kind of old/gold things pop up on the YouTube channel. In the meantime, I now have an excuse to post a bunch of Raconteurs cover songs. If their third album was all covers, I don't think I'd object. They should just call it From Old to Gold and get it out there in time for my birthday. Lord knows not enough kids know Teenage Kicks.

Crazy (Gnarls Barkley)

Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) (Nancy Sinatra)

It Ain't Easy (David Bowie)

Teenage Kicks (The Undertones)

You know they call it the White House, but that's just a temporary condition C.C.

2008-11-05T16:29:00.001-05:00

I Remember Halloween!

2008-10-29T16:11:00.004-04:00

Check out BSD for a list of some of the greatest Non-Halloween, Halloween songs. There you'll find classics from Mr. Corwley to Witchy Woman and more contemporary frights like Weird Scene by Mr. Brown and or Tom Waits Ice Cream Man.

A Life in Song II

2008-10-21T01:23:00.003-04:00

A follow-up to Karl's excellent list, here's my choices for favorite albums from 1988 to now. I'm young, I'm dumb, and I'm probably a hipster. Explanations where I deemed them necessary. Feel free to ask why I like Cat Power and Songs: Ohia so damn much.

1988: Violent Femmes - 3

Criminally underrated disc that bounces back from the uber-Christian Hallowed Ground (which wasn't bad) and their best left forgotten actual third album. "See my Ships" and "Mother of a Girl" are almost better than anything on their classic debut.

1989: Beastie Boys - Paul's Boutique

An excelent year for rap, seeing Public Enemy and the D.O.C. drop their classics in a year full of great stuff. Paul's Boutique trumps them all though. It's so good that even Chuck D said that the Beasties had the best beats in rap.

1990: A Tribe Called Quest - People's Instinctive Travels and the Paths of Rhythm

1991: Metallica - Metallica

For some reason, I can't shake this album. I don't think it's particularly good anymore, and I'm in the minority as far as liking this album more than their faster, thrashier early output, but I hear "Enter Sandman" and instantly wish I were good enough to be a Major League closer. That counts for something, I guess.

1992: Dr. Dre - The Chronic

1993: Wu-Tang Clan - Enter the 36 Chambers

1994: Nirvana - MTV Unplugged in New York

Don't laugh. This is Nirvana's only great album and you know it. While Nevermind is the one that blew up and In Utero let Cobain do what he wanted, this live set exposes the songcraft under all those crunchy guitars and mumbled words. Introduced me to David Bowie.

1995: Ol' Dirty Bastard - Return to the 36 Chambers: The Dirty Version

Probably my 2ed favorite Wu-Tang effort, after the original. ODB led a wild, tumultuous life, but his genius cannot be disputed.

1996: The Olivia Tremor Control - Music From the Unrealized Film Script, Dusk at Cubist Castle

Not the first great album to come from the Elephant 6 Collective, but part of their big three that defined the entire Collective's sound until of Montreal broke all the rules. Listen to this along with the Apples in Stereo's Fun Trick Noisemaker and Neutral Milk Hotel's On Avery Island and tell me that this shit isn't good.

1997: Sleater-Kinney - Dig Me Out

The best album the riot grrrl movement ever produced. Ideology and musicianship meet as the band triumphs after 1996's warm up act Call the Doctor. "One More Hour" is probably the best song about a failed lesbian relationship uncovered by Spin magazine ever.

1998: Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

My favorite album, period. Words fail it.

1999: The White Stripes - The White Stripes

Not the White Stripe's finest hour, but it's their first, and it's their most workmanlike. For a long time, "St. James Infirmary Blues" was my favorite song of theirs, and "Screwdriver" is always badass live.

2000: Songs: Ohia - Protection Spells

2001: The Dirtbombs - Ultraglide in Black

Better than White Blood Cells, which was/is the standard bearer for that whole "savior of rock and roll" thing that Rolling Stone was harping about. Also better than the Strokes and the Hives.

2002: The Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots

2003: Cat Power - You Are Free

2004: Saturday Looks Good to Me - Every Night

This album never ceases to make me happy. A total throwback to AM radio, this is probably one of the first albums I make friends listen to when they go through my albums.

2005: Sleater-Kinney - The Woods

The power of Sleater-Kinney's farewell disc cannot be denied.

2006: Beirut - Gulag Orkestar

2007: LCD Soundsystem - Sound of Silver

I was premature in tipping my hat to of Montreal when I declared Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer? the best album of 2007. Sound of Silver boasts maybe one weak song, but it's kind of like that song before "Jungleland" on Born to Run - nobody will remember it years from now, and people will struggle to place it when it pops up on the iPod. Even if it is the title track.

2008: Stephen Malkmus & Jicks - Real Emotional Trash

You can hear the guitars being played!

G-Rock & Chris Millz' New Single

2008-10-16T15:51:00.003-04:00

As promised in my previous post on this illustrious blog, I've recorded a rap single. I don't know if it qualifies as a Sublime Noise, but I will say it's Dope As Fuck to see my own nom du rap on my ipod. Chris Millz is a guy I met this semester who lives on my floor. He's got a record deal through Universal and is very talented. He makes beats, but for this song we decided to use a RATATAT instrumental. The song is called "Let My People Go" because that was the line of mine that made Chris laugh the most when trying to title it. Days upon days of alcohol & malaise-fueled writing culminated in 45 minutes of recording in a dorm room. I like it. Tell me what you think.

Bone Thugs' Weed Song

2008-10-11T23:16:00.005-04:00

My smoky friend found this on my non-smoky girl's playlist. It's a powerful song, as he pointed out to me. He said "this is the perfect song to blaze to. The hum engulfs you; in your lungs with the smoke it engorges you. Really it's an R&B track but instead of being about your woman it's about your weed; and how well she fucks you."

cml

96 Tears

2008-10-06T23:17:00.006-04:00

A thousand apologies to anyone who noticed that I haven't written anything in a while. I assure you, my creative juices have found other outlets. I've been busy innovating new and increasingly irrelevant things to worry about. I've been creatively overthinking my love life. I've also been writing rap lyrics. I go by the name of MC G-Rock (my real-life surname is pronounced similarly) and I will be collaborating with a friend of mine who has a record deal. I will post an update the second the track hits vinyl (mp3).

On to the topic at hand: songs that make me cry. Music has the power to affect emotions, as anyone who has ever gotten an erection while listening to the Bosnian national anthem will tell you. However, whenever I tell my friends that I'll cry simply because of a tune, it seems I'm in the minority. Maybe you don't want to own up to it, but I've selected three songs that make me cry, for various reasons.

1. Ween - "Baby Bitch", from the 1994 album Chocolate and Cheese

Ween is one of my favourite bands. I love their complete lack of pretension, and that they play almost a different genre on every song, to say nothing of the stylistic jumps from album to album. That's not to say that they are incapable of heartfelt emotion. I've been in a few relationships. The first is one that in some ways I'm just now recovering from, years later. "People say 'how beautiful, how sweet, how kind. You're perfect, you've got nothing to hide.' But I, for one, have seen the sun and the bitch that you've locked up inside." This spoke to me at a time when I was simultaneously in the emotional Bastille that is clinical depression, as well as raging and wanting to punch her in the face. Now, time has passed, other girls have come and gone, and I feel more in line with an earlier quote from that song: "Baby, baby, baby bitch. I'm better now! Please fuck off." I am better, but the song takes me right back to that time and I cry.

2. Bob Dylan - "Don't Think Twice, It's Alright" from the 1963 album the Freewheelin' Bob Dylan
Bobby Zimmerman has ingrained himself into the psyche of every thinking, feeling soul in America. He is America. I almost feel stupid writing about him; it seems that all the world's a choir, and I'm futilely preaching to it. "I'm walkin' down that long, lonesome road, babe. Where I'm bound I can't tell. But goodbye's too good a word, gal, so I'll just say fare thee well. I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind; you could have done better but I don't mind. You just kinda wasted my precious time, but don't think twice, it's all right." Fast forward to another relationship. It was perfect. We were truly meant for each other. Then, it turned out that her priorities were vastly at odds with mine, and that was it. I can't feel the anger that I did for previous lovers, as I was treated better than ever before...but I can't help but think of my time as wasted in some ways. I still fare her well, though. And cry when Zimmy makes me think of her.

3. Bright Eyes - "First Day of My Life" from the 2005 album I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning
I am no fan of Conor Oberst's. I find his music precious in the pejorative sense and boring. However, I saw the music video for this song on MTVU whilst doing laundry and I melted. If you haven't seen it, it features shot after shot of couples holding hands and smiling. They are of every race, age, and orientation. As cynical as I get at times, thinking of my past and current romantic failures, I still have some semblance of hope for the future. "This is the first day of my life. I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you. But now I don’t care, I could go anywhere with you and I’d probably be happy." All of your relationships are doomed to fail, until one doesn't. It only takes one. This song makes me cry in a good way because I'm thinking of that person.

George Clinton and his Gangsters of Love - George Clinton and his Gangsters of Love (2008)

2008-10-01T00:50:00.004-04:00

Towards the end of the P-Funk era, it seemed like George Clinton and company were losing steam. Trombipulation played more like a Bootsy Collins album than a true Parliament disc, and George followed that with the uneven Computer Games. That album ushered in the George Clinton solo era, where put out albums that hit, missed, and came out of left field in the span of eight or so songs. Up was down, black was white, dogs and cats lived together, but George was George, plus a plethora of friends (Thomas Dolby!), and at times without that something that made P-Funk tick.

George Clinton and his Gangsters of Love has the occasional flash of old P-Funk brilliance, but for the most part sounds like George found his inner Michael McDonald. He's letting his mellowed out easy listening flag fly...for the most part.

The first thing about this album that you'll notice is its cover art. It's awful; move on. The second thing will likely be the vocorded voice of El Debarge covering not only Marvin Gaye ("Ain't that Perculiar"), but Barry White ("Never Gonna Give You Up") as well. The other thing about "Ain't that Perculiar" is that Sly Stone guests on it, making it the first time he's popped up in a studio in forever. Carlos Santana also appears, providing the guitar on "Gypsy Woman."

There's nothing here to dislike, other than that the promise of new Parliament and/or Funkadelic material in the wake of How Late Do U Have 2BB4UR Absent? appears to have gone unfufilled, but there's nothing here to rave about, either. The album plays like a radio friendly unit shifter for people who are afraid of George, but I'm not sure that the weedy growl that opens up "Never Gonna Give You Up" is going to convert the heathens who haven't already bowed down at the Mothership.

One more uneven album in the George Clinton discography doesn't hurt anybody though, and as long as he's still got the funk, odds are he'll give it up at a later date.

Rating: ** & 1/2*

Download: Ain't That Perculiar (ft. Sly Stone & El Debarge)
Download: Never Gonna Give You Up (ft. El Debarge)
Download: Gypsy Woman (ft. Carlos Santana)

He's so Funky

2008-09-27T15:42:00.006-04:00

From the 1989 run away hit Teen Witch I am happy to bring you a song for the season- TOP THAT!

Monthly eMusic Round-up #1 (Pt. 1)

2008-09-18T14:11:00.016-04:00

I've had an eMusic account for the better part four months, and I like it a lot. It allows me to download a bunch of albums at a good quality for a price that's way less than what I'd be paying at the record store, and I feel like less of a bastard when I look at my music collection.

I'm on the 75 song a month plan, which roughly translates to about five or six albums, most of which are old rarities or current indie rock business. I figured that, this being a blog about music, I could write about how I spend those 75 songs. Since I generally spend wildly on the first day of the month, I'll just provide a short review of each album, its cover artwork, a link to its eMusic page, and maybe an mp3, if I'm feeling up to uploading. Expect a more professional intro next time, I guess.

(Note: I'm going to start with all 26 albums I've gotten thus far, because I feel very far behind on working on this blog. Got it? Good.)

Bell X1 - Flock (2005)
I downloaded this album after hearing a song on one of the Pandora Radio channels that I study to, and while that song, "Flame," is very good, the rest of the album disappointed me. There's a lot of soft rock here, including "Eve, the Apple of My Eye," which is famous for being played during a lesbian kiss on The O.C.. The rest of the album is much less purple than "Eve," but it isn't for me. I did get a laugh from some Brit magazine's assertion that a song had a "Violent Femmes-ish" guitar riff. The emphasis, clearly, was on "ish."

Flame

Flock @ eMusic

Rating: **

Blitzen Trapper - Wild Mountain Nation (2007)
Downloaded this after noticing that ex-Sleater-Kinney member Carrie Brownstein really, really liked it. The title track, in all honesty, is one of the best songs from 2007, an extremely folky, rootsy CCR-esque track. The album is nowhere near consistent, swerving from garage rock to folk rock to indie pop and everywhere between, but Blitzen Trapper pulls it off, bringing something to every genre that they attempt. One of 2007's best.

Wild Mountain Nation

Wild Mountain Nation @ eMusic

Rating: ****

Cat Power - The Greatest (2006)
Chan Marshall's voice is gorgeousness and gorgeosity made flesh. That's all there is to it. This isn't her best album, but it is her most appealing. A lot of the bitterness of her previous records is left at the door, gone through in title track and opener "The Greatest," and left behind to produce an album that both my sister and I enjoyed. Considering that my sister's tastes run from assorted reggae to flavor of the month rap, that's quite an accomplishment.

The Greatest

The Greatest @ eMusic

Rating: ****

Creedence Clearwater Revival - Green River (1969)
Part of CCR's prodigious, three album 1969, Green River provided us with not only the title track, but "Tombstone Shadow," "Bad Moon Rising," "Lodi," and "The Night Time Is the Right Time." Those four songs are rock and roll canon, and the rest of the album ain't exactly chopped liver. If the best tracks from here had a three-way with the best songs from Willie and the Poor Boys and Bayou Country, CCR probably would have released the greatest album of all time. Instead, they put out three classics. This is probably the best of those three.

Green River

Green River @ eMusic

Rating: *****

Culture - Two Sevens Clash (1977)
Absolutely, positively the greatest album about the end of the world ever. The story goes that Marcus Garvey said something about a day of reckoning on the day when sevens clashed, July 7th, 1977. This album came out and was so huge in Jamaica that on July 7th, stores closed and people didn't go outside. What's amazing is that, for all the end of the world mumbo jumbo, the album is amazingly upbeat. None of the songs are about death, destruction, or suffering: It's an end to all that. An incredible, rootsy effort, Two Sevens Clash survived the end of the world, and is one of reggae's great albums.

Two Sevens Clash

Two Sevens Clash @ eMusic

Rating: *****

Famous L. Renfroe - Children (1969)
Pay no attention to how cheap the cover of the album looks. While Famous L. Renfroe (billing himself as "The Flying Sweet Angel of Joy") may be next to completely unknown, this is an album that deserves to be heard. Famous and a group of musicians gather around some equipment and make a down, dirty, and moving gospel/soul album. Many of the songs here have a swagger found in lost blaxploitation gems. Literally nothing is known about this guy - the eMusic review states that the liner notes say that the album was cut in Seattle while the record company that found this claims it was recorded in Memphis. An excellent discovery that has me wanting to plunge through the depths of many a thrift store LP collection - who knows what wonders lie in those musty bins?

Download: Famous L. Renfroe - Believe

Children @ eMusic

Rating: **** & 1/2*

Funkadelic - Cosmic Slop (1973)
Before disappearing into the land of the concept album, George Clinton and the gang released this 1973 masterpiece, featuring Bernie Worrell's knockout punch at the keyboards in "Nappy Dugout," and all the proof anybody needed that the group could survive losing Eddie Hazel. Who needed him with Garry Shider cranking out songs like "Cosmic Slop?" That song is one of P-Funk's best. "March to the Witch's Castle," a song dealing with the return of the soldiers of Vietnam, is like playing the vocals from "Great Gig in the Sky" during a Black Sabbath song. Who said a funk band couldn't play rock music?

Cosmic Slop

Cosmic Slop @ eMusic

Rating: *****

For Those About to Rock; Go to Wal-Mart

2008-09-13T13:17:00.007-04:00

So it's come to this. Wal-Mart, which is somehow the nation's largest distributor of music, will be the exclusive means of release for Black Ice, the first AC/DC album since 2000's Stiff Upper Lip.

I suppose that this shouldn't come as a shock, seeing as the news is three months old, but I haven't been paying attention to AC/DC aside from my vinyl copies of Highway to Hell and Back in Black to know that the boys were joining the ranks of Journey, the Eagles, and Genesis. In short, I'm disappointed.

I know that a large part of AC/DC's fanbase are Jack swilling, beef jerky devouring Wal-Mart warrior, but choosing to sell exclusively to Sarah Palin's constituents seems kind of like treason. This was the band who, thirty years ago, growled out "Rock and Roll Ain't Noise Pollution," a song that criticized the corporations who said that rock was too loud and too vulgar. Newsflash: Wal-Mart has always been one of those corporations.

I guess this year is an exciting one for classic rock folks. The Eagles did an album, Journey did a few new songs, and there's a small chance that Axl Rose will deliver his baby and shower us all with hard rock and Dr. Pepper. If Wal-Mart has their way, Chinese Democracy will be exclusive to them, too.

This is just bad for the music industry. Oh, the suits are salivating, and I'm sure that AC/DC is sitting on a huge paycheck before royalties and live gate figures start rolling their way, but what about us, the people who appreciate the hilarity of some sixty year old Australian guy referring to himself as "one cool devil" in pursuit of "one hot angel?" I at least want to option to buy it on my hipster iTunes, but nope, for those who want to rock, Wal-Mart is the only option.

This is just plain weird business. You'd think that the industry would realize by now the futility of big box stores, and you'd think that artists would rush to support the little guy. Shit, if Metallica did it, why can't AC/DC? I can't imagine a store full of old women buying a 10-pack of L'eggs rocking out to this shit, and I can't imagine a trucker with a Confederate flag baseball hat picking this instead of the new Toby Keith album. I want to board the rock 'n roll train, boys, but for some reason, you're denying me.

So what do you think? Huh? Is this a good move, a bad move, or are you indifferent. The Eagles sold 711k copies of their first album in something like 30 years, but I have no idea how Billboard works, and honestly, fuck the Eagles. As for me?

Rock and roll may not be noise pollution, but today, rock and roll ain't no friend of mine.

Funk List

2008-09-04T18:57:00.007-04:00

The Following Things Are Funky:*
(in no particular order)

- Boss
- Broadway
- Dollar Bill
- Drummer
- Kingston
- Miracle
- Mule
- Nassau
- Stuff
- Voltron
- Woman
- Women
- Homo sapiens

* Source: Itunes playlist, songs containing funky

The Greatest Love of All

2008-08-23T18:26:00.007-04:00

Of all the creatures on this 6000-year-old planet, few mate for life. Of these, humans are perhaps unique in deluding themselves into believing in romantic love. One thing's for certain, however. Everyone masturbates. Fetuses in the womb, camels in the desert. The noble platypus and the industrious basset hound. We are all quite keen to have the occasional wank.

The intersection of songwriting and self-abuse is an intriguing one. Why would a lyricist, with all their creativity, admit in verse to being his or her own sexual partner? Certainly one could sing of all manner of perversity with man, child or beast; no one would be the wiser. We will discuss a few songs that deal with masturbation.

1. Buzzcocks - "Orgasm Addict"

Buzzcocks (no "the"!) are a quintessential English punk band that have a legacy that includes several awesome tracks. They also are the inspiration for the British quiz show Never Mind the Buzzcocks. Sample lyrics: "You tried it once or twice, found it all right for kicks, but now you find out that it's a habit that sticks and you're an orgasm addict. Creepin' in the backdoor with dirty magazines, and now your mother wants to know 'bout all the stains on your jeans and you're an orgasm addict!" Who among us can't relate? Aside from those of us in the digital age who have no need for printed pr0n, but I digress. This song rocks, and it manages the difficult feat of making masturbation seem fun both fun and harmfully addictive. You might not go blind, but you'll rock out profusely.

2. Prince & the Revolution - "Darling Nikki"

The artist formerly known as The Artist Formerly Known as Prince is many things. Lothario, guitar god, pop music machine, style maven. Of particular import to his oeuvre, pre-Jehovah's Witness days, was the sex. Oh, the sex. The Purple One oozed testosterone. Estrogen, too. "I knew a girl named Nikki, I guess you could say she was a sex fiend. I met her in a hotel lobby masturbating with a magazine. She said, 'How'd you like to waste some time?" And I could not resist when I saw little Nikki grind." This song arouses both my libido and my curiosity. There are unanswered questions. Did Prince meet Nikki while he was masturbating with a magazine, or was Nikki masturbating with said magazine? Where is this hotel, where ladies wantonly pleasure themselves in the lobby?

3. Violent Femmes - "Blister in the Sun"

You have to love any song that causes spontaneous clapping on every spin. This song's guitar part is so ubiquitous, I'm not sure anyone pays much attention to the lyrics any more. They paint a portrait of desperation: "Body and beats, I stain my sheets, I don't even know why." To be compelled to masturbate almost against one's will, kinda sucks. Or not, it still feels good.

~Must love local bands~

2008-08-22T16:39:00.008-04:00

Retro-80s perfection, thine name is Starfarm.

And they're not just snappy dressers; their music captures the kitchy wonderment of the 1980s just as their outfits do.

In anticipation of seeing this band this upcoming saturday I decided to swing on over to their website and get a feel for them first. Wow. Their mix-tape is a must listen for any Master of the Universe, featuring such classics as AC/DC's You Shook Me All Night Long, Duran-Duran's Hungry Like the Wolf, and Ah-ha's Take on Me they're a quintessential fuckfest of throwback euphoria. Listening to Starfarm requires a New Coke chaser.

Check out the whole line up here. More to follow after their show---

Blank Generation

2008-07-30T01:39:00.004-04:00

It's probably little surprise that I'm a fan of punk music. I'm an uptight square, so naturally, the sounds of the disaffected youth of thirty years ago appeals to me. I suppose I should blame my mom, who used to entertain my sister and I with stories about how her, my dad, and a few of their friends would sit around in some guy named Ronnie Alstadt's basement smoking pot and listening to his vast collection of 45s.

I've been on a wild goose chase for a lot of the stuff she vaguely remembers, and I've pieced together a lot of it. Clues as vague as "Red lights/green lights/stop and go time" led me to Johnny Winters, while her insistence that somebody somewhere did a song about pink panties dangling from a rear view mirror has driven me insane for somewhere around five years.

I can also blame my mom and blame punk music for my burning lust of Rhino box sets. I own two...the punk one and one featuring 60's girl groups. The punk box - No Thanks! The 70's Punk Rock Rebellion is about as complete a set as one could hope for, as long as you're fine without the Sex Pistols. There is no better document of the rise of the punk underground, aside from some excellent books (England's Dreaming and From the Velvets to the Voidoids) and the records themselves.

Despite the comprehensive nature of the 100-song box set, I'm drawn to two songs most often, "Another Girl Another Planet," and the Voidoid's "Blank Generation," though the latter has been sticking a lot lately.

I'm not sure why. I'm not as joyfully nihilistic as Hell and his group are in the song, and I haven't wanted out since before I was in, but there's just something to the song, its guitar part or Hell's voice, that won't stop assaulting my brain.

Are there any songs that have this particular effect on you? I don't mean the annoying Spice Girls psychological warfare aspect of a song getting stuck in your head, but the Devil's Tower out of mashed potatoes "This means something!" kinda way.

If so, what are they? Are you still fumbling around for the meaning, or have you unlocked the reason why that particular song just seems to stick?

Fuck Yeah, Real American

2008-07-27T15:39:00.007-04:00

This is, perhaps, the greatest combination of truly awful song and truly awful video ever. Hulk Hogan "playing" his guitar to Rick Derringer's now-famous riff, callously superimposed over American landmarks as famous and legendary American heroes (even MLK!) flash before our eyes. This...this is inexplicably bad.

Love the propaganda, too. Iran, bad! Russia, bad! These problems, solved with a leg drop!

Hogan demanding that we train, eat vitamins, say prayers, be true to the country, phough, is just a delicious, delicious icing on top of about three minutes of insanity.

Oh...and they actually played this on MTV back in the 1980's, and then on a very special edition of Bevis and Butthead.

Amazing. I need to catch my breath from all the laughter.

The Proclaimers

2008-07-26T00:01:00.002-04:00

I have never really gotten into twins. I understand the attraction but the practicality of it is just beyond me. That is to say in other words, I have two hands but I'm not going to use both of them to masterbate with. Not so with The Proclaimers-

Bo's New Math

2008-07-20T21:04:00.006-04:00

This is Bo. Bo is a badass. Bo is also a clever, musicologist and mix-master of sub-culture, pop-culture, pseudo- science and emotional insecurity. When a white kid can sit down in a tie-dye shirt and lay down 'mad' rhymes without any sign of self consciousness you know he has balls and isn't afraid to have them busted. And by that I mean that Bo performs with confidence enough in this talents that he can be goofy and playful with his lyrics but still impressive.

Part of the confidence Bo shows I can only assume comes from the fact that he's incredibly smart. The lyricism present in Bo's youtube tracks is astounding in it's cleverness and wit but also impressively well informed. Beyond wordplay ("I'm constipated, couldn't give a shit,") Bo's songs each have an elevated sense of theme and purpose, a kind of deliberateness in the jokes which shows obvious thought and clarity. He writes songs that while entertaining make you shit yourself with surprise at how smart they are, entwining creativity and intelligence in each song. It is sort of the way you felt the first time you heard It's the End of the World and thought to yourself "Wow, R.E.M. did that? Really?" This trait of his work I think is most evident in his song New Math-

See what I mean? Sure, you can hate on him and you can bust his huge ass balls but that won't change the fact that Bo is probably smarter than you. He can take it. You faked me out white boy. Anyways....I just shit myself with surprise.

This is Bo's youtube channel where you can listen to some more of his tracks. If you need more evidence of this kids 'skillz' or 'talents' here is the supplementary evidence-

There is more I'd like to say about Bo's stage presence but I'll just let his work speak for itself here.

CML