Mrs. Furious ... Recipes, Rants, and Reviews

Adjustment Period

2009-07-14T14:23:00.003-04:00

The neighbors' secured their wireless network. I've got some posts lined up... but I will not be able to return comments (even less often than I have been this trip) reliably (if at all). But keep them up... I do read them... and sometimes it's my only connection to the outside world!

Things are not going as well as I had hoped. Mr F is here and I was really looking forward to seeing him. Unfortunately I kind of forgot how hard it is for me to switch over from fiercely independent, hyper functioning, wonder woman to Mrs F... married to Mr F... who has ADD.

Which he has not been treating.

As evidenced by his maddeningly irresponsible behavior.

As I said to him last night... "Either you are the biggest passive aggressive asshole on planet Earth or you have ADD. Which one? Go get your damn medication refilled."

It's pretty typical for people on medication to think that they don't need it anymore... you know... because things are going so well.

It couldn't be that THE MEDICATION WAS ACTUALLY WORKING could it?

I do get it. I get that no one wants to need medication to function.

But Mr F is not one person living in isolation. He's in a marriage and a family. How he functions affects all of us.

And a decision about whether or not he is going to discontinue treatment is a decision that needs to be made TOGETHER.

In the two days before he came here he slept in and forgot to take Canine to the groomer (also went to work late), didn't take Canine to the boarder on time, and MISSED HIS FLIGHT. That's just two days... and just the things I know about.

So instead of a nice peaceful week together... things... have... been...

difficult

and

disappointing.

People who don't live with adult ADD can't understand how stressful it can be. At times I feel like I'm living with someone with dementia. Other times I feel like I have another kid. It's frustrating for both of us. I want to have an actual partner who I can trust. Mr F means well but he is not reliable.

When we're separated things often get a little worse. Mostly because I realize how much easier it is for me to function without the ADD in my everyday. I don't know. It's hard to explain. But I imagine for a normal family being separated and having to deal with your kids on your own, without a break, 24 hours a day would be harder than it is to live life with two parents present. And for me it's the opposite. And, so, when I have to deal with everything and the ADD I start to resent it, because I've had a taste of what it would be like without it.

And, truthfully, that's scary for both of us.

Being away from it, having a break from every little way it permeates my day to day life only makes it all the more obvious, and annoying, when we're back together.

Mr F has promised to call the doctor when he gets back and to get his medication refilled before I come home.

He's also promised that the next time he decides to go off his medication he will actually discuss it with me first.(And he'll be prepared for the divorce papers he'll be receiving shortly thereafter)

I now know why things have been a bit more out of control... and that does make it a bit easier for me to bear. For there to be an explanation for why things are worse... not that we've all just lost our minds in the last month. And with that there is hope that things can get better again.

Game Face

2009-07-13T11:42:00.004-04:00

Playing Tourist

2009-07-12T16:23:00.007-04:00

Today we went HERE. You'd probably be surprised to learn that the world's largest moving sand dune is here in Michigan. That first picture in the slideshow is of the main dune climb. Those dots are people. We did it. You can't get the scope from the pictures but the climb is so steep that on the way down you can't see the bottom and have the sensation that you might be running off the edge of a cliff. You pick up so much speed on the way down that people actually lose control of their limbs and end up taking a face plant or two. Kid lost control about 5 times but she didn't let it stop her... she just dusted off and started back down. Baby refused to walk on the sand (an added workout for Mr F on the way up) and I risked my life holding her while running down. I nearly broke my ankle.

Mr F has pictures to come ...

Reunited

2009-07-11T16:28:00.002-04:00

Living The Life

2009-07-10T11:48:00.008-04:00

Ahh... Family

2009-07-09T11:30:00.014-04:00

Mooching off our neighbor for an internet connection is very annoying. You know how it is. I have to sit in JUST the right spot in order for it to work.... and even then it takes me 4 or 5 attempts to get connected. And then it bumps me off all the damn time for no apparent reason. To put something up might take me 20 attempts and a good hour. So know that this is a serious labor of love.... that and a reflection on some bad TV viewing options

I've come to the conclusion that this is a challenging time in my life. While in many ways I think I've entered a much more calm and self assured phase. (When I'm by myself... it's quite easy) In other ways I'm trying very hard to do what is best for me... and that is surprisingly difficult. I've spent my whole life trying to do what is best for everyone else in an effort to please people and make them like me. Some of that stems from growing up in unhappy and divorcing homes, some unfortunate parenting, and some of that is just my nature.

Changing this behavior, while being up here with family, is hard because it, of course, stirs up all those feeling that I've worked hard to move past. And some people seem to be put on this earth with the sole purpose of pushing peoples buttons. You all have this relative. Unfortunately mine not only pushes buttons but is angry and defensive about it. I understand this person and I get where it comes from. And in many ways I am sorry for them. As in I feel sorry for them. There is a difference. Unfortunately it's a difference that they can feel and it can sometimes make them angry and defensive. And then the cycle repeats itself.

This person can be mean spirited, belligerent, and is a chauvinist. This person does not see me. Or does... but the differences between us are perceived as a statement against their choices and not just differences between us. And then they feel judged and so retaliate with harsh judgement. This person is not healthy and honestly cannot be healthy at this time. This is not a person who you can sit down with and say "You're difficult and when you treat me this way it makes me feel XYZ". This is a person who would explode in anger, laugh in your face and tell you that they know for a fact your husband doesn't love you. (That's happened folks)

So being here, challenging myself to work through my self doubts, to validate my own good nature... is... well... difficult.

You know what I'm saying. This is a person who epitomizes my inner fears. This is a person who will tear you down if you don't respond in ONE way... the way they want you to respond. No defensive is good enough. Anything you say or do that opposes their idea reinforces their TRUTH that you are a self centered mean spirited person.

Know someone like this?

It's impossible.

As Mr F said... "Maybe moving back to Michigan wasn't a good idea anyway."

But I tried in my own way. I tried to do what was best for me anyway. I was punished and the punishment will continue upon their return. It makes me angry and sad... and... honestly afraid. I am afraid of this person. Not that they'll physically hurt me. But of their unbridled anger. Of knowing that they'll hurt you with their words. And look at you with hate. All while putting on a Mr Hyde persona for everyone else around them.

And, so, in order to be true to myself I have to put up with this. I have to take it... because to fight it only makes it worse.

That is the point... I guess... that I can live through this... that someone's definition of me is not the TRUTH and in time it gets easier to bear. That I can own my own motivations and validate them for myself. It isn't easy for me yet, I have years of negative baggage I carry around with me, but I'm doing it. I am finally doing it.

And people can think what they want.

They did anyway.

10:10 PM Empire, Michigan

2009-07-08T16:31:00.005-04:00

Kind Of Wanting To Kill Myself

2009-07-07T16:57:00.009-04:00

I was kind of keeping hush hush the fact that there was a job opening at the magazine here in Traverse City. This is a job opportunity that we had been keeping our eye on for EIGHT years. It never opened. We've always wanted to move up here but there is literally only one job opportunity that would allow us to make that move. This one.

A couple weeks ago, right before I left town, Mr F let out a gasp as he was doing his usual job search (always a good idea to keep our options open). After YEARS this coveted position had finally opened up. Even better? He was coming out here to visit us anyway and getting to an interview would be easy peasy.

Meant to be? Yeah that's what I thought.

As much as I am getting settled in Asheville it is not where I want to live. And, honestly, with our current cost of living it is always going to be a bit of a struggle.

You know where's a really cheap place to move to in this economic crisis? The place with the most tanked housing market?

Yep. Michigan.

Yada yada yada... I could tell you how much I'd like to live here. I could go on and on. Just imagine that place you always fantasize about living at... that's Traverse City for me.

Well yesterday Mr F called to tell me that he spoke with the editor in Traverse City... and... the job had been filled.... yester-freaking-day!

So today when I drove into the city it was no longer a drive filled with hope and promise. But instead a drive filled with agony and well... a bit... of heart break. Everything seemed perfect. And better. And CLEANER. And well planned and carried out. The donuts were... well... donut-ier. Seriously. As Kid said "You forget how delicious they are until you are eating them, and then you remember all the times you had them." Indeed. Michigan cider donuts just are better than any other donut. Period. The strawberries I got at the stand were better than any other strawberries I'd ever had. They were like jam. They were ridiculous and we ate them under a perfectly blue sky dotted with white clouds, the tall ship sailing around the Bay in front of us. And I kind of wanted to cry.

As hard as moving is and as much as I would hate the actual process...

We could have had a house ON THE ACTUAL WATER for less than our house in Asheville.

Okay not a lot less. But still... less. By like $5...it still counts. It was still a glorious dream.

Oh well... back to Assville at the end of the month.

Damn it.

A Look Inside

2009-07-06T15:37:00.008-04:00

Wondering exactly what it's like "Up North".
Probably not what you are envisioning.

The cottage lies on a strip of land between Lake Michigan and a smaller inland lake. You drive down a wooded private drive to get here. (It used to be really secluded feeling but a few years ago a bunch of rich assholes from Chicago bought up several tracks of land near us and put up a whole bunch of appallingly large summer homes and tore up the woods. They even put in a elevator so they don't have to climb up the dune to their house. I'm just sayin'... We hate them.)

When I was growing up we had a dock and boathouse on the little lake and would catch minnows and turtles. My grandfather had a pontoon boat and would take us all out there with his cocktail in hand and drive us around before dinner.

Now some new assholes moved in next door and are real sticklers about their property line... so... the boathouse was torn down and the dock is kind of falling apart. (Okay enough complaining)

Well when my grandparents built their cottage in the mid 60s this little house was on the property. We call it the boathouse and that is where the girls and I are staying. Up here specifically. The only downside is this...

and this...

and this...

The main house
is a showplace for my grandfather's eccentric collection of big game taxidermy, art, and random stuff. Baby calls it the "Animal House". If you think of the whole Max & Erma's, TGIFs, & Applebee's decor scheme as an actual style then my grandfather invented it. It's kind of intense. Surprisingly the kids aren't afraid.

It's also pretty safe to say that I'm probably one of the only people who's had to say (well in this century anyway) to their two year old "No, no, no.... that's not for kids... that's not safe!" upon finding them holding a rusty bayonet.

The extended family has gone back to their respective homes for the rest of the week. The girls and I are hanging with The Cougar until their return (and Mr F's arrival on the 11th!) and trying to catch our breath... well... I'm trying to catch my breath... I"m hoping they'll catch some ZZZs.

Happy Fourth! (a holiday retrospective)

2009-07-05T16:42:00.008-04:00

The weather has been pretty cool since we got up here... but yesterday was perfect. Beautiful cloudless sky while still breezy enough to keep the sun from melting us into the sand. We spent a good part of the day down at the beach... thankfully the water is cold enough that I don't have to worry about Baby running in and drowning herself (that's the one good thing about the frigid water).

Then we had a big dinner out on the deck overlooking a magnificent sunset. Well... the other people did. I ate inside at a small game table trying to keep the dog from eating Baby's ribs. Once it was dark we enjoyed a pretty decent fireworks display put on by my younger sister and her boyfriend. Well... the other people did. I sat inside holding Baby's ears. It was fun.

My mom made some fantastic corn pudding: 1 box Jiffy Corn Muffin mix, 2 eggs, 1 c sour cream, 1 stick butter, 1 can corn (drained), & 1 can of creamed corn. Blend. Bake in greased dish at 350 for 1 hour. Seriously... Yum. Very much like the corn pudding at 12 Bones. Sometimes she puts in a can of diced green chilies.

Also I've been introduced to a new cocktail. It's an alcoholic Arnold Palmer (which I'm not sure what you would technically call since the whole point of an Arnold Palmer is that it's non-alcoholic). Anyway, my sister-in-law arrived up here with lemonade and Sweet Tea flavored vodka. Burnett's Sweet Tea flavored vodka to be exact. Is it just me or is the sweet tea craze going a little far these days? I had my initial doubts but in this instance it is worth it. It was delish and refreshing and perfect for my light weight drinking ways... and there was none of the malty aftertaste of say a Mike's. Look into it.

Now You See It Now You Don't

2009-07-05T13:18:00.000-04:00

wink wink

Could It Be?!!!

2009-07-03T15:46:00.004-04:00

I have been lamenting the fact that I don't have an internet connection and in order to give you all an update (as much as I'd like to) I'd have to cajole Baby back into her car seat. For now that just isn't happening. Unbelievably as I sat down to add up our trip expenses in the living room I saw that I had access to someone's wireless network. Who knows how long this will last. I'm going to try to spit it all out as quickly as possible.

After we last spoke (so to speak) I had our final leg of driving. That morning Baby screamed and writhed for TWENTY FREAKING MINUTES (you know full well that I am not exaggerating) while I tried to wrestle her into her carseat. That is not easy... in case you didn't know. You can't just buckle them down... they have to actually be in the right position to latch everything. By the time I was done I was covered in sweat and in a pretty terrible mood. She was so hysterical that eventually our old neighbor (that we liked to call The Colonel due to his immaculate lawn featuring a large flagpole) actually came out to see what on Earth was going on.

I wish that had been the end of it. But it wasn't. I had to go grocery shopping, and visit one more friend, each stop requiring yet another forceful carseat throwdown. Finally she gave in and we made our 4.5 hour trek up to the cottage in relative peace and quiet.

I'm not going to lie, for the majority of this trip, I have wanted to buckle her in and turn back for home. Things have not been easy... on her... or me. I've had to put in long haul trucker like road hours with one hand handing out Teddy Grahams and the other changing DVDs. All with almost NO sleep. It's been hard for me to keep my cool day in and day out while still having my buttons pushed (hard) by Baby. Kid, on the other hand, has been perfect... thank you, God.

When we arrived up here only The Cougar was here. That was perfect. Baby had recently seen the cougar when she and my mother came down so there was still some familiarity there. Part of the problem for Baby is that we keep walking into a houseful of eager strangers. That and staying in the attic room in PA with the legitimately scary shadows (for real... she said they looked like Monster fingers and I was like... word to that.) Plus the complete lack of ability to foresee an end to her suffering... after day 2 of driving I think Baby pretty much felt like tossing me an f-bomb and declaring me a liar. You know, like if you call this shit a vacation I'm going home. And who could blame her?

Baby did wake up the first night in our new digs screaming, as has become her signature, but last night she slept pretty peacefully. I think there is hope that she is getting adjusted and if we just stay out of the car for a couple days she might regain hope that we haven't in fact become gypsies (so much for my dream of RV living).

That's all for now. I've got pictures and family dynamics to report on soon! I'm hoping I"ll still have this connection at least through the weekend (assuming it's coming from the neighboring cottage).

Hope all is well with you and that you enjoy the long weekend (the American readers anyway).

And We're Off ... Take 4

2009-07-01T09:39:00.001-04:00

Baby did it again.

Wake up in the night screaming and running around in a dark confusing new space tripping and whimpering "I scared".

My presence doesn't seem to help her.

Sorry Angie!

Ann Arbor Blogging

2009-06-30T19:44:00.002-04:00

We made it. The 10 hour car trip was infinitely better with my niece in tow to change movies and hand out snacks. Baby is still out of sorts and off her rhythm. I'm really hoping things even out once we settle in to our cottage and she can get used to the place. Right now she just wants to go home and says things like "I scared" and "no people". She's just overwhelmed by the number of strangers I think. Today we had a playdate with Kid's oldest *best* friend. They were very happy to be reunited after so long apart. Tonight were staying at Neighbor Angie's. Baby does seem relieved to finally be amongst the under 4 set... and...their toys.

It Was Everything I Hoped It Would Be

2009-06-29T08:41:00.004-04:00

Yesterday when we were driving to the amusement park we drove through a small Pennsylvania town. Right in the center of town I saw an Amish buggy road sign. My heat skipped a beat. My niece and I started scanning the area... we didn't have to look far.

I noticed that immediately ahead of us was a courting buggy being driven by a young man and his two sisters. A couple of cars were in front of us but they took their first opportunity to pass them. Fortunately for me once I was behind them we couldn't pass and we got to follow them for a bit.

Once we did pass them we came upon another buggy!
Believe me... I was FREAKING out. This is the closest I've ever actually been to the Amish. It was incredibly fulfilling.

Even Kid, knowing the importance of such a sighting for me, was beaming!

This almost made up for the pure hell Baby has been putting me through since we left.

The Quiet Before The Storm aka Same Story Different Day

2009-06-28T19:19:00.006-04:00

This was taken right before she unbuckled herself and started to "get out!".

And NO they didn't stop the ride in time.

Things You've Missed

2009-06-28T10:00:00.003-04:00

nighttime tag...

watching me impress the kids with my Twizzler twirling skills...

And On The Third Day...

2009-06-27T20:13:00.003-04:00

She rested.

No driving today.

And for that reason alone it was a relatively good day.

The Breakdown aka Day 2

2009-06-26T22:12:00.002-04:00

Today was... hmm... not as good as I had anticipated.

I let the girls sleep-in as long as possible to make up for their really late night the night before.

I should not have promised to take them swimming one more time before we left. It was a promise made in order to get them out of the pool... but I should have known better.

Around 10 AM they woke up and I whispered to Kid that I was going to have to break the promise. That I was sorry but wouldn't she rather get to her cousins as fast as possible. She agreed and I asked her to not mention it to Baby. Amazingly she she kept her word.

By the time we were all ready to check out breakfast was over. So we started the morning with McDonald's hamburgers all around eaten in our car seats while finishing The Little Mermaid from yesterday. Yummy. (and no I'm not being serious... but it was fast and had some protein so we were good to go... plus I made up for it by ordering french toast at Denny's for lunch)

We got going. Goodbye Virgina. Hello West Virginia, Maryland, and Pennsylvania. That was just in the first hour of our journey.

We stopped at a rest stop.

We saw a broken down Army convoy.

We had the pleasure of following two "Wide Loads":

An actual FEMA trailer being trucked somewhere.

And what I thought was the world's largest boomerang but turned out to be airplane wings (maybe?!). That was actually a bit scary as they appeared to be somewhat precariously attached to a flat bed.

We actually had a little less than 200 miles to drive today... but... it was not all highway driving and had been somewhat slower than I expected.

Today was also the day when I came closest to spanking Baby.

I'm not a spanker. In general I'm not even a yeller.

But today, while driving down a divided highway, about halfway into our trip, Baby started grumbling about something or other. She wanted to "get out!!!". I explained that we were on the highway and there was nowhere for me to pull over and that I'd be stopping for lunch just as soon as I could.

A couple of minutes later I noticed Baby was not in her seat where she should be. She was leaning forward in away that should be impossible in her 5 point harness. I realized then that she had unbuckled herself.

We were not near an exit, we had, of course, just past one. With no exit in sight and no other options I pulled off as far as I could onto the shoulder of the road. Keep in mind that we had just passed signs reading "Aggressive Drivers High Crash Area" and "High DUI Crash Area" (I kid you not). Because of a guard rail all along this section of highway I could only get one wheel off the shoulder onto a grassy area. When I got out of the car I wasn't 10 feet from the passing traffic. I opened Baby's door and hopped in trying to clear myself of traffic as much as possible (I have read of one too many people killed while out of their cars on the highway). I climbed in the car and forcefully put her back in her carseat.

She forcefully kicked and clawed at me while screaming with fury.

I screamed back with terror every time I felt the wind rushing by me from a passing semi.

I got her buckled and quickly got out of her door and back into mine.

I turned around to look right at Baby and screamed....

"YOU DON'T UNBUCKLE!!!! EVER!!!!! THAT'S DANGEROUS!!!"

Baby started screaming and wailing in return.

Kid sat there dumbfounded then whispered "Are you talking to me?"

"No, I'm talking to your sister."

Then I started crying.

From the exhaustion...

the stress...

and the adrenaline.

I put on a movie and merged into traffic.

The Fine Print aka Don't Try This At Home

2009-06-25T23:51:00.008-04:00

The trip was, for the most part, uneventful.

I had booked us a hotel in Winchester, VA which is about a 7 hour drive from Asheville. I figured the trip would take me about 8.5 including stops.

We left at 11 AM on the dot.

That allowed for an hour lunch at a McDonald's Playland as well as some bathroom breaks later on in the day.

For those of you who don't know some McD's have an indoor play structure... and you can actually use the McD's trip planner to find them along your route. The Playland stop is key for many reasons. #1 They have changing tables in their bathrooms. #2 The kids are happy to eat there and it doesn't matter if they are loud. #3 They can play and get tons of physical exercise in; no matter the weather. These are all important on a long road trip. I don't want to eat at McDonalds three times a day but I will if I have to. I try to map these out as a back up plan just in case we can't find anything better along the way.

We made it to our McDonald's and spent about an hour there then loaded back up.

Of course I had to pee about 30 minutes later, so that was another stop. The kids got out and ran along the rest stop's paths for about 15 minutes. Kid sat on the toilet but due to her public restroom phobia (loud automatic flushing and hand dryers not germs) she couldn't go. Baby peed in her diaper as soon as we got back to the car so after all potty time I still had to change her on my partially reclined seat.

The kids did great. Really great. It was harder on me because I was bored out of my mind. In order for the kids to watch their movies (key to Baby doing "really great") I have to listen to them. The kids aren't old enough to tolerate headphones yet and unfortunately for me Sleeping Beauty and Blues Clues lack a little something when you can't see them. I also hate talking on the phone while driving and so... 7 hours of listening to Baby singing and chanting loudly throughout every movie is kind of... well... grating.

Around 4 I was looking for a place to grab my daily coffee. Of course, wouldn't you know, that that would coincide with a random long stretch of serviceless highway. Around 5 I finally got off. Got some gas, loaded up the snacks and headed into yet another McDonald's for a coffee and some chocolate milk. Kid refused to use the toilet... Baby insisted on touching the toilet and so we all had to wash up and then they both refused to use the blow dryers. That's when baby saw a crumpled up piece of used toilet paper in a stall, ran in, and dried her hands on it. Fantastic. So another round of washing and then we finally ordered our drinks. Of course they forgot our order and after waiting for some unseemly amount of time while Baby rolled around on the floor and practically made out with the tiles (so much for the washing of hands) they finally gave them to us.

We got in the car. Baby couldn't find her pacie. We're down to two for the trip so that was not good. I actually (don't call the cops) left them in the car in the parking lot (I had already buckled them in and was not about to take them out again) and ran back in and all through the restaurant and bathrooms... no dice.

So, all in all, that pit stop added another, unplanned for and unnecessary, 30 minutes on to our trip.

We had about 2 hours left to go.

Things we're going pretty well again.

When we were about an hour from our hotel and I had just finished this...

We ran into this...

People, there was an accident about 1/8 of mile ahead of me on the highway. About 5 seconds before we got there a car ran off the road and burst into flames. An 1/8 of a mile beyond the accident was the next rest stop. I sat there wondering how long before I had to take off my underwear and put on one of Baby's diapers (I'm not kidding). There were miles of cars and trucks lined up behind us so it's not like I could just pee on the side of the road. The kids were happily enjoying The Little Mermaid. I was tired and ready to get this day over with. At least I was able to get out and stretch for awhile. During this time I decided that next time I'm going to plan my trip for no more than 6 hours of driving just to take this kind of thing into account. While I can handle 7... I really can't handle 8... by myself... with absolutely no help... with the sun setting into my rearview mirrors. Because it's not like when I finally get out of the car I'm not still on duty for the rest of the freaking night.

About 30 minutes later (surprisingly fast) we started to move and I drove straight to the rest stop like 95% of the cars around me.

60 minutes later we finally got off the highway. We were hungry. It was now 8 PM. I was truthfully right about where I would have need to pull over even if we hadn't gotten to our destination. I saw a sign for Outback and we drove straight there.

The kids enjoyed it.
I was happy to be at a nicer restaurant (well comparatively). They actually both ate decent dinners. I let Baby hang out under the table... whatever... it can't be worse than the McDonald's floor. We even ordered dessert.

They sprinkled Meth on Baby's.

We got to our hotel around 9 and planned to check in and go swimming. Our hotel is really, really, nice. It's a new Courtyard and the bed is fantastic. The kids ran in our room and Kid called out "Hey Mom! There is a shower!!" And as if it couldn't get any better "The toilet paper is folded in a triangle!!". See? It's fancy here.

But within a minute I realized I had a problem on my hands. Baby. She was really out of her mind. She was yelling everything and running and jumping and... well... I'm always paranoid about disturbing others. It was really stressing me out. I told her we weren't allowed to run or jump. Baby doesn't really know how to locomote without running or jumping so I might as well have asked her not to breathe. When I tried to hold her down in hopes of settling her she just started screaming and then started banging against the walls. I decided running and jumping was better and released her.

We went swimming. The pool was clean... and... had towels! I was hoping that the exercise would run them down a bit.

I realized for Baby, who is really physical, I need to make more playground pit stops during our drives. She is great at holding it together while she's in the car... but... once you let her out she's totally out of control as she tries to release all that pent up energy.

In the pool she decided she could swim. She was adamant and kept yelling at me and trying to get out of my arms. As it so happens she can't. So... that was fun and relaxing. I put up with that, in combination with Kid's insistence that she, in fact, can't swim for a good half an hour before calling it a night.

It didn't wear them out... at all.

Baby was literally bouncing off the walls.

Kid was anxious about sleeping on the pullout bed a good... oh... 1.5 feet away from my bed.

I'd try in vain to ~~snuggle~~ wrestle Baby down in the bed only to have Kid pipe up some ridiculous question from her bed... which of course only provoked Baby more.

You know it's kind of cute to listen to a two year old screaming out the lyrics to "Somewhere Out There"... but not so much at 11:45 PM.

After lying with them both, separately, ... while silently screaming in my head... they are now asleep.

And I can't wait for tomorrow when I get to do it all over again!!

Thankfully tomorrow is a "short" day and I only have 4 hours of driving (theoretically).

I Am Going To KILL Baby!

2009-06-25T22:25:00.002-04:00

She's nuts. Absolutely nuts.
She can't stop talking at TOP VOLUME.
I'm really sorry to the people staying in rooms 208 and 212.

And We're Off!

2009-06-25T09:33:00.006-04:00

one bike
stroller
2 kid's deck chairs
a cooler
sewing machine
small bin or of sewing stuff
bin of toiletries & diapers & medicines
bin of clothes
bin of art supplies & learning stuff
duffle bag of clothes
hotel overnight bag
fan
road atlas
groceries
snacks (including beef jerky!)
movies
bag of library books
huge bag of swimming floatation devises
sun tent
beach umbrella
sticky mat
free weights
baby gate
bed rail
baby monitors
potty chair
toilet paper
paper towels
wipes
pacies
2 blankets
2 pillows
bin of toys to LEAVE
wagon of blocks to LEAVE

I think our neighbors think we are moving.

The good news is if something goes down and we need to go on the lam we're all set.

Seriously. I could start over with everything I have in there.

I Didn't Just Say That

2009-06-24T12:52:00.002-04:00

"If you just hit her back you are going to be in trouble!" I yell up at Kid from the basement.

Then add...

"She's a baby... You're a grownup!"

Hoping For a Ho-Free Hotel

2009-06-23T23:40:00.006-04:00

24 hours to go. I'm at the peak level of nervousness where it would almost be better to load up the car and just take off now and get it over with. I've been known to do just that in the past.

Yesterday I pricelined a hotel for our stop over in VA.

Not a motel a hotel.

As cheap as I usually am (and believe me I really hate to spend more than absolutely necessary) I will never forget stopping at a Super 8 with Kid when she was about 3 years old. We were on a drive to the East Coast on our own. We had been given a top floor room. While all the rooms have outside access it wasn't like I could open the door and be at my car. Well, I had a moment of sheer panic when I realized I had left something in the car and had to decided if I could leave her in the room for a second while I ran down the stairs to the car and back. She was happily watching TV on the bed.

I did leave her... but I was really nervous about it... I'm not even sure why. What if I fell down the stairs and broke my leg and couldn't get back to the room? What if I got hit by a car in the parking lot? No one would know she was up there. She could end up traumatized for life. I think I was even worried it might not be technically legal for me to leave her in the room. One thing I have learned from traveling on my own with kids is that stuff like this comes up all the time... the whole travel & lodging system is not set up for a single adult traveling with small children.

When I got to the bottom of the stairs and was heading to my car I saw the most disgusting, nasty, skanky hooker I had ever seen (and for the record I used to live on 12th St in Alphabet City in Manhattan and I have seen my fair share of nasty old hookers). This woman was walking on the side of her stiletto red vinyl boots... like on her ankle. She was kind of limping. I wasn't sure if she came in that way or if something happened to make her leave that way. But I suddenly wanted to vomit. And I was worried that if something weird had gone down I didn't want someone to see me see her. Not with my baby upstairs in a room by herself. What if someone shot me?!! (Yes I know that's crazy talk... but in the moment that is exactly where your mind starts to go) So I turned around, not ever reaching my car, and ran up the stairs to my room and my baby. When I got in the room I was shaking.

After that I have been hesitant to stay at a motel unless I'm with Mr F. Life's short I don't need to worry about getting caught up in some kind of prostitution ring gone bad. So... long story short.... especially after the disgusting Days Inn incident... I decided it was worth an extra couple of bucks to know we were staying in a nice hotel in a nice area. I did my best to get a good deal, and in fact, we're paying exactly what we paid to stay at that nasty ass Days Inn.

Video Update

2009-06-23T14:38:00.000-04:00