The Milk Bar

Time For Different Tactics

2009-07-14T17:40:00.004+07:00

I think I've mentioned before that I found this incredibly effective way of encouraging Aaron to put away his own toys. Anything that he leaves behind, I put away for him, on top of the fridge and he doesn't get it back until tomorrow.

So far, it has worked great. But, like everything else in these toddler lives, I've got to find a new way of persuading.

Several weeks ago, when I went to put something on top of the fridge, he started saying "Hakuna Matata. It means no worries. I'll just play with it tomorrow".

I knew it was starting to lose its effectiveness. I tried to milk it for a few more weeks worth of toy cleanup (and other good behavior) by taking a favorite toy instead of the toys that were not picked up.

Finally, this week, there are two train sets, including the rails, on top of the fridge. And, nobody pestering me to bring them down. He even tried offering me things to put up there just so he didn't need to pick them up!

Some days I think he's on the cusp of willingly and happily picking up his toys, he does do that fairly often, but other days......

Its not only picking up toys, I was using that particular strategy for all sorts of misbehavior (tantrums, running around during meals, etc). I need something new.

I remember being chased around with a rattan cane when I was a kid. Those whacks from the thin (and frayed) cane stung like crazy but they seemed to work. All my mother needed to do was look at the cane and we'd behave. I'm not going to say "never" but I don't think I'll be using that with Aaron. We never retaliated but I think Aaron will probably prove to me that "violence breeds violence". He's hasn't acted that way yet but sometimes, I hear him say that he's going to snatch something from somebody else or smack them or something else similar.

Overall, he's still a lovable little boy - helpful, funny, curious and concerned. I know everyone needs to be naughty sometimes in order to grow up. Reasoning and preparation or expectation setting seem to work if I lay enough "groundwork". I'm just cracking my head over what to try next for those out-of-hand times.

Any ideas? What do you do? What did your parents do to you?

How many hours are there in your day?

2009-07-13T17:58:00.004+07:00

Supposedly, we all have 24 hrs in each of our days. Well, I have news for you. I think I've already gone through 24 hrs even though the sun hasn't quite set and I woke up at sunrise today. And you all know, I live in Palembang and not some place with those endless days. Today has been SO. INCREDIBLY. SLOW.

Several weeks ago, one of my friends (a new mom) said something along the lines of "The days are so slow!". Oh, how I can identify with that. And I'm no longer a new mom. This strange stretching out of the day is probably the aspect of motherhood that I least expected.

Before Aaron was born, people kept asking me to go out, enjoy myself, go out for dinner with Richard, and other things like that. They said that once the baby came, there will be no time for any of that. Now, wouldn't you get the impression that the little bundle of joy was going to keep you so occupied (as in busy doing one thing or other) that you didn't have time to do anything else?

In a way, that was true. I was and still am kept occupied the whole day long. I try my best to keep each day productive and have our activities lined up, but every so often, there is a day like today. It start extra early, and since I didn't plan properly, I ran out of activities early. This kind of day usually coincides with a day that Aaron doesn't feel like independent play. And also, it happened to be a day we didn't have access to the car. All I felt like doing is sleeping/surfing the internet/reading but all he wanted was to play play play. So, the "compromise" is sitting on the floor, trying to play and watching the minutes slowly creep by.

So you see, its true that there is no time to do anything because I was kept busy the whole day long. But really, I have done absolutely nothing today. Busy for nothing, doing nothing.

***

You wouldn't believe it! I got to that last "nothing" and the power went out. It wasn't a power trip either, but a neighborhood wide blackout. That was two hours and a half hours ago of extra slow time. Funny thing is that I managed to put Aaron to sleep about an hour ago and now, after sitting in darkness, doing nothing, I'm fully recharged and no longer feeling lethargic. I'm ready for tomorrow.

Hair Rebonding in Palembang

2009-07-12T17:13:00.006+07:00

Hair styles, treatment and trends are a huge part of any girl's life. Well, most girls. My mother is one of those practical ones and didn't do much in terms of hair and make up while I was growing up so I didn't pick up any of those habits. I don't exactly like my straight hair but in a way, boring, dead straight hair is easy to manage.

What I always wanted was curls. That would have been so much more interesting. Just a little bit of a wave in my hair would have made me happy. When I was in Grade 3, my mother took me to get my hair permed. I got teased for it at school but I secretly loved it. Unfortunately, I never got it done again. And somehow, when I was old enough to choose what to do with my hair, I've always avoided perming it. I don't know what it is. I'd love to have some nice big curls now but I just feel that its not me. Well, it wouldn't be me at all would it? All the curls would be fake. Thats the ridiculous sort of thinking that keeps my hair straight.

Anyway, at least I'm not so out of place here. One of the hair trends here is hair straightening, or as its called in South East Asia, hair rebonding. But, this doesn't make my long straight hair fashionable because the aim with the hair rebonding is to have super flat and straight as a needle hair. Rich or poor, it seems that everybody is getting this done to their hair. Even those with straight hair is getting it made straighter.

A friend of mine who works at a "hair salon" told me that there is two hours each day allocated to cutting hair and the rest of the day is just for hair rebonding. Supposedly, this is a very famous "hair salon" for rebonding and people from a couple of hours away will come here to get their hair done.

Here is what the place looks like. Its seems messy and old fashioned but its raking in a lot of money for the owner. Actually, all the traditional hair salons look like this. The ones in malls appear to be like hair salons in Malaysia but most operate the same way as these traditional ones.

The place was so noisy and there was so much going on. This is the inside of the shop and you can see a lady sitting on a stool right in the middle. The place was L-shaped and to the right of this photo were another 4 customers being worked on. There were at least five other girls waiting for their turn outside. And just take a look at that girl in the pink shirt, she's having some instant noodles while her hair is being worked on! I'd love to just sit there for a morning and watch all this but I don't think I'm brave enough to actually have anything done to my hair.

Well, thats all for today's peek into life in Palembang :)

Disgusting Situations

2009-07-10T13:27:00.007+07:00

Palembang is really a place that generates a lot of mixed emotions in me. On the one hand, I find it very affordable to live here. Not only are everyday grocery items cheap, my weekly foot reflexology only costs USD 6. If you're not too fussy, clothing and shoes are also very affordable. Naturally, I get really happy when I find bargains while out shopping or having my foot massaged.

Undoubtedly, there is a huge gap between the rich and poor in Palembang and this is clearly visible just driving around the city. A very common conversation in our household is about how much money the majority of the population here earns and how they still survive. Not only do they survive, I often find them to be very jovial, sincere and open. These people often have such heavy financial burdens with households that include their parents and children to support. I've mentioned before that I initially felt some sort of pity for these people but have since grown to realize that it was too insulting to the people to feel that way. They are a proud people, work hard and survive. I've grown to admire them instead.

Every so often, I come across a situation that I now start to term as "disgusting".

Today, I went with a friend to look at a house he was thinking of renting. It is on the outskirts of some housing area and therefore, next to swamp lands. All I can think about was the snakes and mosquitoes that would be visiting. Here are a few photos of the house itself. (No, nothing disgusting about these photos.)

The house is going to be rented out "as is" and the landlord will not be chipping in to to make the place any more livable.

Alright, here is the "disgusting" situation that I mentioned. They're all variations of how some people spend money in comparison to the annual rental for the above house. By the way, the rent will undoubtedly burden my friend heavily because he needs to come up with the entire year's rent within the next couple of weeks. Rental here is paid a year in advance.

The yearly rent for our house would be able to pay for 12 years of rent for that house above.

Also, Richard told me that when his boss came, he stayed at the penthouse of Novotel for one night. That one night would have been able to pay 3.2 years of rent for that house. Imagine that....one night!

Richard's boss' wife did some shopping while here. She bought some beautiful batik and that cost about 1.6 years of rent.

I know that there are plenty of people in the world far richer than the majority of the world's population and they too have a right to spend their hard earned money in whatever way they choose. But, sometimes, the difference between how the money is spent is just so way off that my limited vocabulary just keeps spitting out "disgusting".

I haven't forgotten about Bird Flu

2009-07-09T17:53:00.005+07:00

A couple of years ago, there was no such thing as H1N1 or Swine Flu. Instead, Bird Flu was all "the rage". In fact, at the time that we moved to Palembang, Indonesia had the highest number of cases of Bird Flu (H5N1) and did not seem to have the situation under control.

I was so paranoid at that time that we did not eat any chicken (AT ALL) in Palembang. I realize that you can't get it from cooked chicken but what about the raw chicken that needs to be prepared. And even if I went to a restaurant to have it, the people in there would have handled the raw chicken, and all the other food.

With around 95,000 cases of Swine Flu about these days, the Bird Flu, with a total of 436 cases since 2003, seems to be forgotten. What shouldn't be forgotten is that the total number of deaths from Bird Flu is 262 or a 60% fatality rate. So you've got one that spreads so easily, and another that is so deadly....I hope they don't meet up somewhere!

I have always shopped for fish at one particular market that is farther away from my usual one because the chicken section wasn't anywhere near the fish. Unfortunately, during my visit yesterday, I noticed that the perimeter of the fish section was now mostly filled with chicken vendors. My paranoia has returned!

The guy on the bike rang his bell to tell me to move aside. I got the shock of my life when I turned around and saw what he had.

Maybe its time I looked at shopping elsewhere....

YAY! Big Cleanup Completed!

2009-07-08T08:05:00.005+07:00

I've been putting off doing a big cleanup of all our stuff here in Palembang for quite awhile. This house is very spacious but it has very little storage space so, I really need to either get rid of some things or send them back to Ipoh with my mother when she leaves. I finally started on it on Monday. Things got dusty, I got grouchy and tired, and that in turn probably set off a few of Aaron's whining episodes (which makes me all the more grouchy). Hence, the two day blogging break.

I've trimmed down to the bare essentials now. Especially in the clothes department. When we first moved here to Palembang, I really didn't know what to expect. I didn't know much of Indonesia at all and had the impression that it was a conservative place. After all, it is the nation with the largest Muslim population in the world.

The bulk of the clothes that I initially brought here were shirts with sleeves, long pants and calf length skirts. Everything that I disliked wearing when I was in Malaysia. Don't ask me why I even own them.

Needless to say, it was hotter than hot when we arrived here. The temperature has reversed since then but in February of 2007, Palembang was a hotter place than Ipoh. We arrived on a Saturday and on the Sunday, we went to Mass and I wore a proper shirt and longish skirt.....and nearly fainted from the heat. After a few days in Palembang, I was back to my shorts and sleeveless t-shirts. Its actually quite acceptable to dress this way and I've noticed that more and more people are wearing shorts over the past two years. The Muslim girls are of course more conservative but while they don't show much skin, many of them dress in extremely tight fitting clothes - skinny jeans and snug t-shirts.

Actually, the Muslim women here seem to be much more practical with their clothes. When they are at home, or in their own neighborhood, I've often seen them in sleeveless dresses. I don't think this happens very often at all in Malaysia. (Remember the dress code at the state library?)

So, if you're planning to visit Palembang, you don't need to get all covered up. But don't go to the extreme of spaghetti straps or hot pants (no, I haven't tried that), you'll get too many unwanted stares. The staring here seems to cause extra discomfort...maybe because they stare openly and for longer periods of time and there is often some leering involved.

How long do you take to get ready?

2009-07-05T17:52:00.003+07:00

I pride myself on being pretty efficient in getting ready, not just in the morning but any time of the day. I distinctly remember one time where I went from nursing Aaron to being dressed for an evening out in about 10 minutes. I thought I looked decent.

This guy has a few tricks to make anybody super efficient in the morning. Guys, the way he puts on his pants and tie are particularly impressive.

Telephone Porridge Anyone?

2009-07-03T17:00:00.000+07:00

It must be because my mom is staying with us but here is another Cantonese saying, "To make telephone porridge". The porridge here is rice porridge. It usually takes several hours of slow cooking to make the perfect bowl. So, making telephone porridge means to have those long loooooooong telephone conversations.

I used to be an expert at telephone porridge and of course refined the art during my teenage years. I have a distinct memory of being in the 9th Grade, arriving home from school at about 3.45pm and then jumping on the the phone with my best friend (who I would have said goodbye to less than an hour earlier) from about 4pm onwards until my mom got home at 5pm. We had a brown, dial phone that was attached to the kitchen. UGLY. THING.

By the time I was in university, I would be on the phone for 2, 3, even 4 hours! I can't believe it thinking back now. But, in those days, before email and online chats, I couldn't last a day without a phone call to somebody. I don't know how my mother put up with it because I don't really remember getting in all that much trouble for it.

This all died down once I started work. I found something new - online chatting. I don't go to any chat rooms or chat with strangers. Its just the medium I use now to keep in touch with all my family and friends. So, these days, I make IM porridges and they can take as long as a day to complete. I know that I prefer it to using the phone because you can do so many other things at the same time (blog, surf the internet, watch TV, have dinner etc). But, that means you're not always giving the other person your full attention.

Just as Bilbo often writes about the lost art of letter writing, I now find that I have lost the art of chatting on the phone. I just don't like doing it anymore. And, even if the other person is a close friend that I haven't been in touch with for awhile, I find that I get uncomfortable being on the phone after the initial 15 mins of small talk. And if its the cell phone that I'm on, I get off even quicker because my ear always gets so hot.

No matter how many emoticons they come up with, IM-ing is cold and sentiments often lost. I believe that it is a warm gesture to sometimes give a person a call to speak with them. And these days, we can go a step further and use video in our calls too. I'm going to make an effort here. First, I need to try to look decent for cameras that always give me a big bald forehead! So, don't anybody call me yet :)

Baby-less Holidays

2009-07-02T19:49:00.003+07:00

In the past 2 days, I've had 2 friends tell me that they are going on holidays without their babies. My immediate thought was "WOW! That would be fantastic."

However, upon giving it further thought, I don't think I would do it. Not right now. After all, my mother is constantly asking me if she could take Aaron back to Australia for a holiday and, I always refuse. Its not that I don't have moments where I don't wish that the little guy was somewhere else. I do. And I usually regret the thought seconds after thinking it.

My mother's reasons are that Aaron is too attached to me and that he needs to learn some independence. The longest that he and I have been apart is 6 hours when I went for a day of sight seeing in the north of Cairns with my brother. I was still back in time to put him to bed that night.

Of course, I do think that a baby-less holiday would be thoroughly relaxing and we could probably go on some holiday that we couldn't take Aaron on. For example, the diving holiday to Sipadan that Richard and I had planned for 4 years ago but never happened. *let me spend a few seconds in dream land here.....sigh*

So, why don't I just accept my mother's offer? Partly, its because I know he can be such a handful and I don't want my mother to get all worn out because of him. The other part is just because I can't. I don't feel comfortable doing it.

I can just hear some people saying "Oh don't be one of those moms that can't let go". Honestly though, I am one of those moms at the moment. Perhaps this is my own fault but I don't think I've prepared him adequately to be away from me long enough for me to go on a holiday. I am doing a lot more of it now as he starts to find his own independence even without me prompting him. More experienced parents tell me that one day, he'll be begging me not to go places with him anyway. I'm not really in a rush for that day.

For now, I wish my two friends a fantastically romantic time away. Maybe I'll ask my mother to watch Aaron for a couple of hours this weekend while Richard and I go get a massage.

Perumnas Market Seems To Have Exploded

2009-07-01T13:22:00.007+07:00

Its been about two months since my last visit to the Perumnas Market. The place seems to have exploded with extra stalls everywhere. I think the vegetable sellers are more or less the same people but there are all these new food, toys and jewelery stores. Yes, jewelery in the market!

You can see one of the stalls here, in between two fruit stalls.

Unfortunately, I don't have a photo for comparison but here is what the main street of the market now looks like.

Walking through the various stalls took me a lot longer this morning because there were so many new toy stalls and of course, Aaron had to stop and look at each one.

We came across this extremely cute little girl. She's about 14 months old and was very contentedly helping her mother put various items into bags to be weighed. The beanie you see on her is an extremely common sight. It doesn't matter that the weather is around 30 degrees Celsius daily, all babies and toddlers will have one of those on their heads.

Palembang (not just the market) is really changing and growing so rapidly. In the two years that we've been here, I think it has grown more than Ipoh has in the past ten years! I should make a point to take even more photos of the place.

Varieties of Stupid

2009-06-30T17:15:00.003+07:00

I have a bit of a language lesson today. We have been watching a Mandarin drama series these past few nights and there is a character in there called "Da Sha". A direct translation is "Big Stupid".

That name, "Big Stupid", reminded me of a term that was one of my favorites when I was trying to pick up Mandarin from my colleagues at work - "Sha Qua" meaning "Stupid Melon". No, I don't think they called me that (or maybe they did behind my back), but it was a term that one particular girl would throw out every hour or so. I don't know why, I just liked the sound of it.

So now, we have Big Stupid and Stupid Melon. Another very common one that I hear in Mandarin TV shows is "Ben Dan" meaning "Stupid Egg". Or sometimes, "Da Ben Dan". You guessed it, "Big Stupid Egg". Obviously, with the references to melons and eggs, these aren't really used for malicious name calling purposes. I wouldn't know how to give a lesson on that. Supposedly, the swearing that goes on in Mandarin or Cantonese can be extremely colorful but unfortunately, I don't understand one bit of it.

Off on a tangent but still on the topic of eggs: Richard, who is only allowed to speak Mandarin to Aaron, often says "Pu Yao Huai Dan", meaning "Don't be a rotten egg!"

I wonder what the history is behind using melons and eggs. I'll update this list if I come across more varieties of stupid.

The 101 Things To Do List

2009-06-29T17:03:00.003+07:00

Last year, I came to know about the 101 things in 1001 days from zero_zero_one's blog. The idea immediately appealed to me and I started work on my list. Making the list was much harder than I thought it would be and I actually took a couple of months to complete it. It really made me think that all this staying at home had made me into a lazy bum for not having anything that I wanted to do. I felt good when it was done and I looked forward to crossing things off. Bad luck! Our hard disk crashed and I lost everything! I backed up things like photos but this list was on the desktop....and alone. Somehow, I just didn't have the motivation to make another list and I left it.

Recently I started reading "How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be" by Jack Canfield. He's the guy that wrote the "Chicken Soup For The Soul" series (which I really really did not enjoy). Every so often, I enjoy reading one of those books that tells you about focusing and getting your life on track (and then I forget LOL!).

Anyway, once again, this book suggested a list of 101 things. This time, the time frame was much longer - you have until death to do them. So, I started working on that list last week. I'm only up to item 64!!! I'm starting to wonder whats wrong with me. The list has a lot of places that I want to visit, several things I want to learn how to do (including make shoes), a few materialistic things and a few of those ideas I had for helping the underprivileged. I didn't want to put down simply anything just to make up the list. For example, I had the fleeting thought of sky diving but then I thought about it again and I don't really want to do it. I also don't want to put down some of the "smaller" things like "read The Kite Runner", which I had on my 101 things in 1001 days list.

Have I become so unambitious? Am I so complacent in life that I can't even think of things that I want to do before I die? Or have I just become boring? Older? Unimaginative? Narrow minded? Maybe I've lost some brain cells and I just can't think anymore?

Anyway, this has been frustrating me today. I'm giving myself a couple more days and then I'm moving forward with the book. So be it if I only have a list of 64 things!

Another Sign From Palembang

2009-06-28T17:30:00.004+07:00

First of all, the Annual Dinner I mentioned in the last post was as dull as dull can be. I don't have much to report from there. I made small talk with the big boss's wife. It wasn't too uncomfortable. Most of the time was spent telling her that first impressions of Palembang are deceiving and that its not just an overgrown village.

I left after the dinner but Richard had to stay back for a meeting with all the bosses. After that meeting, the big boss went off to bed but those middle bosses went for their usual drinking and karaoke-ing so Richard didn't get to come home to nearly 2am. That was expected I guess.

Anyway, at least they all left the next day and our lives are back to normal.

I came across an interesting sign today. It is not as "exhaustive" as the one at the Ipoh library but it was still interesting. This was hanging outside the entrance to the foot reflexology place I took my mother to this afternoon.

My mother and I had such an amazingly relaxing time there just now. I can't stop raving about it each time I have an afternoon like this come home to tell any of my friends that are online. Regular readers, you're all like friends to me too, if you somehow manage to find your way to Palembang, I'll definitely treat you to an afternoon of foot reflexology with the head/neck/shoulder massage. Anyone?

Tidbits on Friday

2009-06-26T13:43:00.006+07:00

Well, within 5 minutes of waking up this morning, I found out about Michael Jackson. And since then, reading and watching the news and then thinking about it has pretty much dominated my day. I'm not one of the crazy, fainting fans but my family has definitely followed his career closely. In fact, my mother is a bigger fan than me and was in tears as we watched the news reports. The first time I watched him was when my mother recorded the 1984 Grammy awards for us. My brother and I would watch him on that repeatedly. Its a sad day to hear that he passed away so suddenly. And, its tragic to hear that many people saw it coming but it still happened.

Anyway, here are the tidbits I had planned for today.

Earlier this week, Mike left a comment saying that he didn't know about our locked gates here in Palembang. Well, they are everywhere here. And all over Malaysia too. You won't be able to see from these photos but many of these gates, including ours, are padlocked all day long. Let me tell you, it is the most troublesome thing to have. Each time we go out, someone has to go unlock the gate, open it, stand there and wait till the car is out and then close and lock it back. And then when we get home, no matter if its raining or scorching hot, you've got to do the same thing again.

This photo is of the row of houses directly opposite us. All except the first one have gates. Perhaps this is because they are the only house without a car.

This is a view of all the houses on our road.

With the gates shown in these pictures, you still have a view into the garden. The really paranoid people build a brick wall and have a solid gate so that you have absolutely no view of the inside. They also have no view of the outside!

The other tiny tidbit I had for today is the way we buy towels (hand towels, bath towels, wash cloths, bathmats etc). There are places you can go to buy single towels but they are also sold by weight. I saw a cute Thomas & Friends hand towel yesterday but was told that it didn't meet the minimum weight requirements. I had to mix and match with other towels until I had at least 0.5kg worth! Needless to say, I didn't need so many towels.

Richard and I are going for the company's annual dinner tonight. All the bosses will be there. Remember these bosses? Well, their boss will be here too and he's supposedly a pastor on the weekends. Lets see how they behave today. Tell you about it tomorrow.

Dwarf Snapbeans Indeed!

2009-06-25T16:44:00.005+07:00

After nearly 7 weeks away, I came back to a pretty decent garden. Shortly after I left, I told Richard to harvest the sweet potato leaves and eat them up. Instead, of "harvesting", he cleared them all. He just pulled them all out instead of just cutting the longer stalks off. Luckily, he proudly told me of his accomplishment that night and I got mad early enough for him to retrieve some stalks for replanting. By the time we came back, the sweet potato patch was full again.

My okra started flowering a few days before I left. At that time, they were only as tall as my knee. Right now, they're nearly 6 feet tall and full of okra. Another success!

Finally there is my Dwarf Snapbeans. I've been trying to grow them since last year but they kept dying or getting diseased. Before going back to Malaysia, the plants that I had there were alive but in no way flourishing. I really didn't expect anything from them and only hoped they wouldn't die again.

Surprise! Surprise! When I got back, the plant looked similar, perhaps with a few more leaves here and there. But, the underneath was full of skinny little beans. I was thrilled of course but when the pack said "Dwarf" I really didn't expect them to be this tiny!

This is what the photo on the packet looked like. Wouldn't you expect bigger beans too?

I took great pleasure in cooking up that handful last night. Unfortunately, they were already old and chewy. So, next time, I'm going to harvest them when they are even tinier.

The funny thing about growing my own vegetables is that no matter how they turn out, I'm always more than happy with them.

A Sincere Price

2009-06-24T15:53:00.004+07:00

I had a post in early May about needing to call in people from the electricity company to see why we have power trips every night.

Well, the problem wasn't solved then and I called them back. They came yesterday to "assess" the situation again and today came to change the circuit breaker. At least I think its the circuit breaker. Anyway, the big greyish thing with the blue switch.

The man that came didn't ignore me this time and I was a lot more polite than the last time. Unfortunately, he gave me the same reasons/excuses and never really answered my question of why I seem to have less power at night even when I have the same appliance on. At least he went the extra step to see if changing the circuit breaker would help.

After he finished the job, he calls me to take a look. And, he says "OK. See here, I have tied it all back up and put these little clamps on the cables. This shows we have done a perfect job." Maybe the meaning was lost on me but the direct translation of the Indonesian word he used really is "perfect". I laughed inside but left it at that.

When I asked him how much I had to pay, he said "Its up to you." Immediately, I knew that this should have been free. I said I didn't know what the price was meant to be and he repeated "Its up to you. Just a sincere price". What the heck was a sincere price?? Yet another meaning that is lost in translation. So, since this was basically "coffee money", I gave him enough for lunch.

This "sincere pricing" doesn't happen all the time though. I've had many other people come to fix things in the house and when the job was too small or meant to be free anyway, they have honestly told me that there was no charge.

After the electricians left, I was walking around outside and look what I saw.

They just chucked the old shell into one of my plant drums! It happens to look empty because I just cleared it and put some new seeds in a couple of days ago. Still, I don't think it looks like a rubbish bin. If they couldn't see a bin to dispose it in, why couldn't they have just handed it to me? Or taken it with them?

Anyway, we'll see tonight if there is any change to our power situation.

Aaron, The Palembang Boy

2009-06-23T16:55:00.006+07:00

Aaron is definitely a Palembang boy. I think I can say that he sees this as home base and he misses it every time we leave it. We've been here since he was 7 months old so it looks like I have a little Indonesian son.

Prior to our return trip, he kept repeating "We're going back to Palembang on Friday." He told everyone! And each morning, he'd ask me if it was Friday yet.

As we approached Palembang, I told him I saw our house. I really did. He was bouncing up and down his seat, as far as his seatbelt would allow. And, he was yelling out LOUDLY "YAY! We're home. We're in Palembang." When the doors of the plane opened, he ran all the way to the immigration line.

For the first couple of days that we were back, Aaron wouldn't leave the house. He must have felt like he was in heaven and couldn't be torn away from all his toys. Actually, he still hasn't left the house, except to go to church on Sunday, and he's still as happy about it.

Yesterday, three of his little friends noticed he was back and came over to play already. They live across the street from us. A few minutes ago, I heard Aaron and the 3 year old girl, Vika, chatting from across the street to each other. It was all in Indonesian and so cute! I think this may be the start of Aaron's socializing, without me!

Vika : "Aaron!"

Aaron : "What?"

Vika : "Aaron"

Aaron : "What?"

Vika : "What are you doing?"

Aaron : "Nothing"

Vika : "What are you doing?"

Aaron : "Nothing"

Vika : "Come over"

Aaron : "I don't have the key. You come over"

Vika : "Come over"

Aaron : "I don't have the key. You come over"

Those aren't typos up there, they really repeated everything. I'm sure the both of them have perfect hearing but maybe they don't have perfect understanding of each other yet.

I didn't hear what went on after that but Aaron eventually came to ask me to open the gate so that Vika could come in. He must have misunderstood her because I saw that she was still safely locked behind her own gate and it looked like her mother was out because the car wasn't there.

Its amazing to watch how Aaron is growing. In a few short months, I can just imagine him arranging his own play dates and walking himself over there. He's growing up! I need to get used to that.

Lucky Us!

2009-06-22T12:56:00.008+07:00

We're finally back in Palembang. Actually, we got back on Friday night but since then, I've just been getting things organized in the house and settling back into our routine.

Our trip back was definitely more eventful than usual. My mother traveled back with us and her shoes gave us the first laugh of the day.

We can often find very reasonably priced shoes here in Palembang and she had a plan to come over here, and buy herself a new pair of sneakers. So, she puts on her old, really old, pair for the journey, thinking that she'll just dump it here in Palembang. Well, it started falling apart at the first bathroom break of the bus journey down to Kuala Lumpur. I have no idea why a woman would carry sticky tape in her handbag but my mother happened to be doing just that. Lucky her!

Ipoh has a small airport but there aren't many flights out of it these days. People who need to get to the airports in Kuala Lumpur usually catch the taxi or one of the many airport express buses. We chose the bus. It takes 3.5hrs and is extremely comfortable. The downside is that these buses are notorious for breaking down along the highway. In fact, the bus that Richard was on broke down 30 mins into the journey and he barely made it to K.L. on time for his flight. We chose a bus that left us more time just in case. As we pulled into the airport, I thought to myself "Phew! At least we got a good bus!". About 10 meters short of reaching its parking bay at our K.L. airport, the bus broke down. The engine simply went dead and wouldn't start again. Lucky us!

And then when we arrived in Palembang, my mother got pulled aside. I guess it wasn't her day. I handed all three passports to the immigration officer, he processed Aaron's and mine and then kept hers aside because she didn't have a return ticket with her. All he said was "Stand aside". She had entered many times previously with just the one way ticket because we never know how long she's going to stay. Anyway, this didn't get resolved until Richard, waiting outside, was called into a room together with the head immigration guy there. Richard must be getting good at negotiating the Indonesian way because my mother now has her 30 day visa ;)

Everything is good now. Nothing out of the ordinary has happened in our very routine household. And, its back to blogging as usual for me.

Ancestors

2009-06-17T17:45:00.004+07:00

I'm running a bit short of time today so I'm sharing a photo.

The lady on the right here is my great-grandmother and the other two are her sisters. The photo was taken around 1910 in Penang, Malaysia. Please click on it for a clearer look.

The women are dressed in the traditional Nyonya sarong and kebaya but the little boy (my grand uncle) has very Western looking clothing on. It appears that he even has a little pocket watch hanging there.

They are all married women and the lady on the left has obviously married a wealthier man than her sisters. Take a look at the gold bracelets, necklaces and anklets that she has on.

Remember my post about people commenting that I don't look like my parents. Well, I think if I did my hair and dressed like these ladies, I'd look like one of them.

We Can Get More Money From The ATM

2009-06-16T15:47:00.006+07:00

I have been very careful not to purchase any books or toys for Aaron when he is around. I just didn't want him to get into any sort of tantrum habit of demanding us to buy him stuff. He has definitely asked me to get him things and he knows that things need to be bought with money but so far, my response is that we'll need to save our money first. The money in my purse is for buying important stuff, like food. He seems to accept it.

He also understands the simplistic concept that people, like his father, need to go to work in order to earn money.

Recently, I also taught him that if we sell things, we can also get some money. We sold an old pile of newspapers for RM 1.80. He's got that money in his money box at the moment.

We were playing with the RM 1.80 worth of coins today. Buying and selling his trains and trucks. As he was running low on coins, and couldn't "buy" anything else, he said something like 'Oh No, I'm wasting my money. There is none left'. I rejoiced for a moment, thinking he had started to understand the value of money. The moment was fleeting as his next move was to try to bargain with me to lower the price.

I tried to show him that if we spend all our money without thinking, we will have none left for when we really need it. And what do you think he says?

"I KNOW! We can just go to the ATM. They have money in there."

*sigh* I tried to explain to him that it wasn't so simple. He ran to get one of his Thomas & Friends collectible cards and he told me that he had a card to put into the ATM. I don't think he gets it yet.

Life sure is simple when you're Aaron's age.

I still haven't figured out a long term approach for how we'll teach Aaron the value of money and the responsibilities that will come with (or without) it. So far, all I know is that I don't think I want to teach him to earn through chores. I want him to know that chores in a house need to get done because thats how a household works and not because it will earn him some money.

So, we're back to finding other ways of growing his RM 1.80. I think I'll show him the tall stack of old newspapers at his great-grandmother's and see if any lightbulbs go off in his head.

Please Leave, You're Stressing My Supervisor

2009-06-15T17:09:00.006+07:00

I never thought it would happen to a goody goody like me but we were kicked out of the Perak State Library. Yes. Aaron, my gray haired mother and I were all asked to leave.

I really didn't have high expectations of the place but we were looking for was the cool air conditioning.

We went to the children's library first in an adjacent building. It was more a store room with only half an air conditioner working there so we didn't stay long. The books were mostly old and in poor condition anyway.

The main building was spacious, neat and nearly cold inside. The books were old and both the Malay and English books were shelved together. I ended up settling down with a Reader's Digest and was very contented. Aaron was kept occupied with his coloring pencils and notebook. My mother browsed the shelves.

I was seated for barely 10mins before I saw one of the staff approaching us, slowly. The whole time, I thought she was going to say something about Aaron. Maybe he was too noisy or maybe kids aren't allowed there...or he wasn't supposed to use the chair as a little table.

Instead, she said "Excuse me. Actually, you aren't allowed to wear sleeveless shirts in here. Also, no shorts are allowed. If you want to wear a skirt, it will have to be below your knees."

And then she added "You're stressing my supervisor."

Whats that last statement supposed to mean??

Anyway, as I walked to look for my mother, I saw that she was being told to leave too. We were both wearing sleeveless t-shirts and shorts that were just above the knees.

On the way out, we saw this huge noticeboard listing all the items you are not allowed to wear or bring in to the library. Its the longest list of prohibited items I've seen at the entry to anywhere! Click on the photo to have a closer look.

Thats one side of Malaysia for you. The side where middle ranking people with a little bit of power impose their unchecked views.

I suggested to my mother that we should go again. This time, we'll carry blankets in our bags to cover up if we're told that our arms and legs are stressing the supervisor. She thought we could try going with long see through sleeves and pant legs.

We'll see if we have time. This was the state library and I want to go check out the municipal library too.

Knocked Out!

2009-06-12T07:58:00.001+07:00

Aaron was such a terrible sleeper as a baby that until today, I am still amazed to watch him sleep. This is especially the case if he falls asleep outside his bed.

We took him to a huge indoor playground at a mall recently. That place was any child's heaven! There were ramps, tunnels, multiple ball pools and best of all, the slides looked like they were 3 floors tall.

Aaron was non-stop in there for nearly three hours. He really wasn't faking it when he told me that he couldn't walk out to the car. We no longer use a stroller with him and he's too heavy to be carried so the best I could offer was a shopping trolley.

Literally 2 minutes after I put him in there, this is what I see...

Oh, the pink striped socks? The playground insisted that all kids and parents wore socks so, they were the cheapest pair I could find in the nearby shops. He didn't seem to mind.

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Is She Really Your Mother?

2009-06-10T15:19:00.000+07:00

My regular readers may remember me mentioning how straightforward the people of Palembang are. Well, my mother have met quite a few straightforward people over here in Malaysia too.

A family joke we have from when I was a child is that I was picked up from the rubbish bin. (No, this hasn't had any adverse effects on me.) I don't look very much like my parents at all. In fact, many people question if I am even the same race as them. I really don't mind this at all and have had lots of fun with it over the years. (Except for one Ramadan month in primary school when I was questioned for not fasting.)

Over the past week, my mother and I have been asked multiple times if we were related. Here are a couple of examples of what happens.

The first instance was at a hawker center. The lady who delivered our food looked at me and asked if I was my mother's daughter-in-law. When my mother said that I was her daughter, that lady actually spent a few minutes insisting that I couldn't possibly be because I didn't look anything like my mom.

Next was a shop assistant in a bookstore. After spending nearly 15 minutes helping us track down a book, the guy looks at us and says "How are you two related?" Once again, he's not satisfied with the answer and acts like we're pulling his leg.

So you see, people here in Malaysia are just as straightforward as those in Palembang. How could I have forgotten?

Anyway, the conversation that takes the cake for this sort of assumption and straight talk actually happened a few years ago.

My mother and her mother happened to drop me off at a cosmetics counter. I had purchased some product and the lady was giving me a free facial. So, as she worked on exfoliating and cleansing my face, she jumped straight into some sort of soliloquy of how it is a blessing to be adopted. I distinctly remember her telling me that it is because my mother loved me that she wanted to adopt me. She assured me that I shouldn't feel bad about this and told me that I should even appreciate them more.

Er....just because I purchased something from you doesn't make you my new BFF!

I know the lady only meant well and I wasn't offended at all. Just highly amused. She talked non stop so I didn't have a chance to correct her. At least she can feel that she perhaps did some sort of a good deed that day.

St Michael's Catholic Church, Ipoh - Young Families Beware

2009-06-08T12:15:00.009+07:00

This is not a new topic for me but I just have to have a bit of a rant here. The "Cry Room" at St Michael's Church here in Ipoh is still one of my pet peeves of this city even though my last post on the topic was over a year ago.

I have avoided going there as much as possible but I always end up there at least once during each visit to Ipoh. And each time I go, the sight the cry room and attitudes of the wardens and parish priest disgust me so much that I leave Mass feeling angry, frustrated and slightly revengeful.

Since my last post, I have purposely not entered that room whenever I go to Mass at St Michael's. Each time, I have a similar conversation with the wardens:

Warden: We have a cry room.
Me: He's not crying.
Warden: But he might.
Me: But he's not.
Warden: Father says children have to go there.
Me: I'll sit out here.

On Sunday, after a hectic weekend in Kuala Lumpur and a 2 hour car ride back to Ipoh, I felt that I just wasn't up to the stress of joining the general congregation. You can't imagine the pressure I feel each time I sit on the "outside" with Aaron.

So, I walked guiltily into the "Cry Room". I felt that I was betraying myself and all the rants I've had about this horrid room. But I was tired and thought it might be the solution.

I was shocked to find that the already too small room was half its original size. I don't know what the history is there but it was cramped yesterday. And, here is the view from where we sat.

Look at the reflections on the glass obscuring the view of the outside. Also, from this angle, we have no view of the alter at all. We also could not see the projection of the hymns and prayers.

Tell me, how are parents supposed to participate? How will kids learn about the mass?

Also, the parish priest may not know about kids but he must have "people" that can tell him. Children put together in a small, confined space WILL interact. They look at each other, they know they can make some noise in there. They will try to play. Noise levels will rise. Parents will try to control this. Kids will rebel.

Tell me, how will children know that Mass is not a place to seek out playmates when there is a room full of them?

During the homily, a two year old fell down and hit her head on the pew. Of course, she screamed. On the outside, and without any knowledge of what happened, the parish priest gave a look to one of the wardens to evict the girl. He also remarked that during his time, no child would dare to throw a tantrum like that. And that today, the louder he talks, the louder she screams.

Tell me, how would you feel if you were the parents? (Hopefully infuriated)

Children are the future of the church. During Baptism, their parents swore to bring them up to be believers. It is also the responsibility of the church to nurture both parents and children. Not make them feel alienated. The family yesterday ended up spending the remainder of Mass outside.

Tell me, wouldn't the thought cross their minds to just give up on Mass until the child is older?

The "Cry Room" is alienating and ineffective. It is plain stoopid since it isn't even sound proof! Noise levels rise. The priest will look over. Some of the general congregation will look. And, the Cry Room has failed in its No.1 Mission - To avoid distraction of the general congregation.

My suggestion - get rid of it! They didn't have it during Jesus' time. They didn't have it when this Parish Priest was a two year old. We don't need it now!

Aaron is proof that children can be no more distracting that other members of the congregation if given the chance. I was weak yesterday and went in the room but he was a perfect angel in there. I could have stayed out. He knew that it wasn't right to be playing and talking during Mass.

IF the St Michael's parish really have a problem with families with young children during mass, then why not dedicate one of the masses just for that crowd. Everyone can sit outside, participate, learn about the mass and enjoy community prayer.

My Absolute Favourite Food

2009-06-04T17:27:00.007+07:00

For this week's Photostory Friday, I'm featuring my favourite food - Steamed Freshwater Prawns. These are steamed with Chinese cooking wine and a little bit of egg.

I like these so much that I always finish my rice first so that I can concentrate solely on them. I use my fingers to peel the shells off even when they are still hot. And then, after savoring all the prawns, I just let my fingers air dry. Yes, it may sounds gross but I like the smell of the prawns on my fingers for a little while after the meal. Anyway, I don't touch anyone and I usually wash my hands by the time I get home.

The prawns in the above photo are on the small side but its all thats available these days. We used to get them as big as my palm but I guess I'm not the only one who loves them so much.

The bigger restaurants in the cities have large ones but these are all farmed and full of antibiotics. I don't go for those. We had these in a small town, Gopeng, outside Ipoh where the people still go to the rivers to catch the prawns.

The restaurant is part of a bus station. Its an extremely humble establishment but the food there is amazing (of course!). The prices were incredibly reasonable too.

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

p.s. I'll be going to Kuala Lumpur for the next three days so my next post will be on Monday. Have a good weekend!