IT IS HIGH, IT IS FAR, IT IS... caught.

Time to Vote for Ex-Yankee of the Decade

2009-11-27T08:01:00.000-05:00

The nominees are:

Alfonso Soriano
1999-2003 with Yankees - 2010 AB, .284 BA, 98 HR
2000-2009 5403 AB, 289 HR, .836 OPS

Jason Giambi
4257 AB, 303 HR, .961 OPS in 2000s
2002-2008 with NYY, 2934 AB, 209 HR, .925 OPS

David Wells
98-58, 4.25 ERA in 2000s
1997-98, 2002-03 with NYY, 124 games, 68-28, 3.90 ERA

Randy Johnson
143-78, 3.34 ERA in 2000s
2005-06 with NYY, 34-19, 4.37 ERA

Mike Lowell
4-15 as a NYY in 1998;
5282 AB with .282 BA and 206 HR in 2000s.

Ted Lilly
8-12, 4.65 ERA with NYY in 2001-2;
103-83, 4.20 ERA in 2000s.

El Duque
61-40, 3.96 ERA in 1998-2004 with NYY;
61-52, 4.29 ERA in 2000s.

Roger Clemens
Fuckit.

Joe Torre
one WS title, three pennants, ten playoff appearances in 2000s.

Gary Sheffield
1308 AB, .291 BA, 76 HR in 2004-2006 with NYY;
4572 AB, .294 BA, 273 HR in 2000s.

Collapse of tofurkey Giants signaling Yankee repeat in 2010

2009-11-27T06:21:00.008-05:00

It is universally accepted that the Yankees and football Giants cannot win championships simultaneously. For one to succeed, the other must collapse.

Why is this?

Hopefully, the Large Hadron Collider will explain. If the collider fails, we must continue to seek the essential truth through poetry and drugs.

Either way, the Jersey football Giants are doing their "Yin."

Last night, they barfed tofurkey on national TV, losing to the Denver Rockies.

A bad Giants team may just be the price Yankee fans must accept. We can rage against the Cosmos. It won't help. The Cosmos won't listen. Frankly, the Cosmos doesn't give a shit.

But the Cosmos can't take back our 2009 World Series.

Scientific Pie-Chart Analysis Depicting Reasons Why Redsock Fans Are Thankful This Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T13:00:00.000-05:00

Thank You, Butch Wynegar

2009-11-26T09:53:00.001-05:00

Scientific Pie-Chart Analysis of Reasons for Yankee Fans to Be Thankful This Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T09:45:00.000-05:00

Johnny crushes Hideki

2009-11-26T05:52:00.000-05:00

How soon they forget.

The Nominees Are...

2009-11-25T18:54:00.007-05:00

For the first YODA, ex-Yankee of the Decade.

Players

Alfonso Soriano - Currently active with Cubs. Also played with Rangers. 7-time AS.

1999-2003 with Yankees - 2010 AB, .284 BA, 98 HR

2000-2009 5403 AB, 289 HR, .836 OPS

Good hit, no field wherever he plays.

Nick Johnson 2539 AB, 693 H, .849 OPS in eight seasons, all in 2000s. .402 career OBP. Still active with Marlins.

2001-2003 with NYY - 769 AB, .256 AB, .800 OPS as 1B/DH

Jason Giambi 4257 AB, 303 HR, .961 OPS in 2000s

2002-2008 with NYY, 2934 AB, 209 HR, .925 OPS

May retire after 2009 with Oakland and Colorado.

Admitted to steroid use in first tour with Oakland A's.

Pitchers

David Wells 98-58, 4.25 ERA in 2000s

1997-98, 2002-03 with NYY, 124 games, 68-28, 3.90 ERA

Now a baseball broadcaster with TBS.

Makes fat people feel better about themselves.

Jose Contreras 71-63, 4.61 ERA in 2000s

2003-04 with NYY, 15-7, 4.64 ERA

Pitched for Chicago White Sox and Colorado Rockies during 2009 season.

Started MLB career at age 32 after defecting from Cuba.

Randy Johnson 143-78, 3.34 ERA in 2000s

2005-06 with NYY, 34-19, 4.37 ERA

Pitched for Giants in 2009.

Freak of nature. Still pitching at age 46.

I did not consider players who retired as Yankees, even though they played with other teams (Tino Martinez and Mike Mussina are examples).

Other nominations?

Shelley Walks... And then...

2009-11-25T17:41:00.008-05:00

... We sign his replacement?

Welcome to Scran-tone, Meester Weber.

Hey! Look Who's Tweeting!

2009-11-25T17:08:00.001-05:00

Fake John Sterling on Twitter

Advice Yogi gave to Jimmie Johnson during tour

2009-11-25T11:51:00.000-05:00

Monday, NASCAR legend Jimmie Johnson toured the Yogi Berra Museum.

Excerpts of the conversation?

"The lap ain't over 'til you're already goin' around it again."

"If you come to a curve in the track, take it."

"You can drive fast, but you always end up back where you started."

"Who can drive and think at the same time?"

"In a race, it stays early really late."

"I can drive 500 laps, as long as I don't have to count 'em."

"It's like Chevy Volt all over again."

Scientific Pie-Chart Analysis Depicting Reasons Why the Yankees Should NOT Sign John Lackey

2009-11-25T09:38:00.000-05:00

Source: Fans who say Yankees should not sign John Lackey.

Yankeetorial: Boston is chasing Halladay, and we have been here before

2009-11-25T06:18:00.003-05:00

Robin, set the Batputer to Thanksgiving 2003....

(Static sound) Batman, this is Commissioner Gordon. We have reports from Gotham City that the criminal mastermind Two-Face is on the verge of teaming up with ARod! Help! We can't let it happen! Do something, Batman! Enlist your superfriend, Cashman! OMG! the walls are caving. If they get ARod, all is lost! (Static noise, end of transmission.)

Today, we are receiving a similar transmission, except Two-Face (pictured below) is now supposedly on the verge of teaming up with the evil Doctor Halladay.

This time, we must not intervene. In 2003, we overcompensated. After we signed Arod, Robin was heartbroken and turned into Robin Ventura. We lost the chemistry of our super duo. We lost six years.

This time, we must do the following:

1. Put in a decent, but low, bid for the evil Halladay, making the evil Theo squirm. Cashman, you are in charge.

2. Program the Batputer for explore trade options for Josh Johnson of Florida, who is younger and a future ex-Marlin.

3. Sign John Lackey.

If in doubt, forget Numbers 1 and 2. Just sign John Lackey.

Let Hideki Matusi go. Let Xavier Nady go. Let Jose Molina go.

That's $20 million a year, right there. Take half and sign John Lackey.

If you weaken, think of that pivotal moment in Game 5 of the 2009 playoffs when Mike Scioscia took out Lackey, who was screaming pissy mad, and brought in Oliver, who gave up a triple to Tex. Yeah, they won the game anyway. But Lackey was pitching a shutout. The guy is a gamer. Sign Lackey. He's younger than Halladay. He's still building his career. We keep Joba and Hughes. SIGN LACKEY, SIGN LACKEY, SIGN LACKEY. We stay in the hunt for Josh Johnson.

DO NOT PANIC! DO NOT GET SUCKED INTO A HUGE TRADE FOR HALLADAY THAT WILL LEAVE THE REDSOCKS ABLE TO SIGN LACKEY AND TRADE FOR KING FELIX OR JOSH JOHNSON. DO NOT LET THEM HOLD THE CARDS. IF THEY WANT HALLADAY, LET THEM TRADE A BUNDLE. THEY WANT US TO OVER-REACT. THAT'S WHY THEY'RE LEAKING THEIR PLANS. WE HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE. DON'T BITE.

JUST SIGN LACKEY. WE WILL WIN THE 2010 WORLD SERIES IF WE SIGN LACKEY.

And This Is Good News?

2009-11-24T22:45:00.003-05:00

From MLB.com

Yankees ink recently suspended Dominican outfielder

According to various reports (Baseball America, Baseball Prospectus), the Yankees have reached a $570,000 agreement with Eladio Moronta, who was reinstated seven weeks ago following a one-year suspension by Major League Baseball for misrepresenting his age as 17. Scouts compare the 20-year-old to former player Raul Mondesi.

The Bronx Creates, Queens Imitates

2009-11-24T18:54:00.000-05:00

Don't be fooled.

This Is Why We're A John Sterling Blog

2009-11-24T16:23:00.000-05:00

According to New York Magazine's Sports Section, Michael NO IT'S TOO UGLY LET THEM TELL IT:

Steiner collectibles is selling THIS?

2009-11-24T08:00:00.006-05:00

How can a hat be "game used" when the player wasn't "game used?"

Used when? While watching the game and snacking on Hot Pockets and Cheetos in lovely Salinas, California?

The stranger thing: They got SIX BIDS on this?

In MVP vote, gutless NY sportswriters whiff on Tex and Jeet

2009-11-24T06:19:00.001-05:00

Not one hometown first-place vote. Not one.

Not saying Joe Mauer didn't deserve the MVP. But if Jeet or Tex had the same years on another team -- say, the KC Royals -- they'd have been assured at least one first-place vote from a home town writer.

And the scribe would be a hero today.

But not the NYC sportspack. Nope. They're always looking for that chance to patronize, to slip in a rabbit punch -- you know, to remind the stars that writers have some power, afterall.

Not one first-place vote for Tex.

Not one first-place vote for Jeet.

Did they discuss this beforehand? Did they make a pact?

OK, maybe it's just the "Rocky" Oscars scenario.

In 1976, the Best Film -- "Rocky" -- whiffed on four best acting nominees -- Bert Young, Sylvester Stallone, Burgess Meredith and Talia Shire. They canceled each other out among voters. Stallone lost to Peter Finch, the then-deceased actor (think: Heath Ledger) who portrayed the future Glenn Beck in "Network." Talia lost to Faye Dunaway, basically because she had been screwed out of her rightful victory in "Bonnie & Clyde."

Meredith & Young lost for Best Supporting Actor because -- let's face it -- two players on the same team is death in the voting. Jason Robards won for "All the President's Men." Can anybody recall his character? Hell, no. But he won anyway. Meredith's "Mickey" goes down as one of the greatest movie characters of all time. No Oscar, though.

Jeet someday goes into the Hall, first-ballot. This year, even more than his rookie season, was his best shot at the MVP. Not one first-place vote. Not one.

Teixeira? See above. Not one first-place vote. Not one.

If just one NYC scribe voted for his/her home town, Joe Mauer would still have won the MVP. (By the way, Miguel Cabrera got a first-place vote; can you believe it?) And today that writer would eatin' lightning and crappin' thunder!

But the writer would have done a terrible thing: betray the local wolf pack.

Nobody dares do that.

Zell's grandfather

2009-11-23T21:57:00.002-05:00

Condolences.

Letter to the Editor: Yankee celebration wrong

2009-11-23T18:23:00.000-05:00

FLORIDA TODAY (Brevard County, Florida)
November 14, 2009

Dear Editor,

Congratulations to FLORIDA TODAY sports columnist Peter Kerasotis for having the guts to call out Major League Baseball on the glorification of alcohol in his recent column, "Time to put a cork in celebrations."

I, too, am disgusted by it and wrote the commissioner of baseball, Bud Selig, to asked him what more ridiculous image could Major League Baseball have projected than the newly crowned champion New York Yankees wearing swimming goggles to protect their eyes from the sting of the ritualistic champagne and beer shower.

Speaking as someone who emulated hard-drinking grownups early in life, images matter - a lot. Blending the imagery of baseball heroes with reckless drunks is exponentially more harmful to our youth than the sport's steroid junkies routinely hitting 450-foot home runs.

Few kids will ever be exposed to steroids. Yet most youngsters will be goaded by their peers into getting drunk and crazy. They don't need baseball's superstars tempting them, too.

Bud Selig should announce "last call" for baseball beer bashes and close the locker-room bars.

Mark Clancey
Cocoa Beach

Letter to the Editor: John E. Vidor... hero

2009-11-23T12:17:00.001-05:00

The Times-Union (Albany, NY)
November 18, 2009

John E. Vidor of Rensselaer you are my hero!

I have been reading all the negative comments in Talking Points and letters to the editor about the Bombers' World Series win and really getting ticked off.

You hit the nail on the head with the facts of the whole luxury tax issue. Most other owners just pocket the spare cash rather than spend it on their team. In addition, the Yankees cleared more from their payroll this year by not renewing contracts than they spent on Tex, CC, and A.J.

The Yankees are a class act from top to bottom and 2009 was just a fun season for their fans.

Doug Gross
Halfmoon

Exclusive: Video of John Sterling and Barbra Streisand at Lincoln Center!

2009-11-23T08:52:00.001-05:00

Top Ten Yankee End of Decade Awards

2009-11-23T04:57:00.010-05:00

In the face of the pesky anti-Yankee-spending letter writing campaign going on across the country (or at least across western NY state), what better way to fight back than by displaying the arrogance for which Yankee fans are renown? And in a way that is sure to be unique! With a flurry, a flood, a blizzard, a veritable gusher of self-aggrandizement in the form of self-generated best-of-the-decade awards.

It is with great pride and pleasure that I propose the IIH Top Ten Yankee End of Decade Awards (I-YEDAs or I-YODAs - still to be determined). Each award would be made with appropriate fanfare, accompanied by a widely distributed news release. I'm thinking a Today Show appearance by the end of the I-YODA cycle.

10. Ex-Yankee of the Decade - to be awarded to the ex-Yankee player who had the best on-field performance during the period 2000-2009.

9. Yankee Celebrity Fan of the Decade - a shoe-in for the blond actress who's dating A-Rod? What about Billy Crystal? Rudy?

8. Yankee Blog of the Decade (all non-IIH websites) - self-explanatory

7. It Is High Yankee Blogger of the Decade - for meritorious service to IT IS HIGH, IT IS FAR, IT IS...caught.

6. Yankee Executive of the Decade - Cashman vs. The Boss or someone else (the treasurer?). Could be fun.

5. Yankee Manager of the Decade - Settle once and for all the question - is one ring plus a Good Samaritan act greater than one ring plus several AL pennants? (Note that this award is for service during the years 2000-2009 only)

4. Yankee Team of the Decade - 2000 or 2009, you choose. Non-World Series winning teams need not apply.

3. Yankee All-Decade Team (by position) - at least a couple positions aren't slam dunks.

2. Yankee Employee of the Decade - Could be an amazing list of nominees here.

1. Yankee Player of the Decade - Future Hall-of-Famers only need apply.

And finally, an eleventh award - in keeping with the IIH charter, an award too prestigious to be contained in a mere Top Ten list.

0. Yankee Broadcaster of the Decade - surely there can only be one choice. But we'll let democracy speak.

I propose that the Yankiverse's most capable, fair and creative election commissioner be appointed to post the appropriate polls on the IIH site and to announce the results as only he can. I am of course referring to the one and only El Duque.

What say ye, Yankiverse? To award or not to award, that is the question. There can only be one answer. I say that answer is YES!

Bar chart analysis comparing costs of obtaining Roy Halladay vs. John Lackey

2009-11-23T03:59:00.000-05:00

So simple even Anonymous can understand it.

Letter to the Editor: History has been made

2009-11-22T22:15:00.000-05:00

Buffalo News (New York)
November 15, 2009

Dear Editor,

Yankees buy, Yankees win!

History has been made. Incredibly, the Yankees have won their 27th major league championship. In this open free enterprise system, the Yankees' ignored the luxury tax like it never existed to buy a World Series ring.

In the history of baseball, this has never been accomplished before. By spending money like a drunken sailor the last 10 years, this organization finally pulled it off. The last three players alone cost them a quarter of one billion dollars, more than the GNP of most Third World countries. This is all perfectly legal and putting to shame any prospects of a farm system; they just simply bought the best players available at every position until they reached their goal.

This is what made this country great. It's called elitism. This means you can belong to any club whether you join freely or are bought by an organization bidding for your services.

Tony Hammill
South Buffalo

Letter to the Editor: A Texan and a Yankee fan

2009-11-22T16:19:00.000-05:00

Fort Worth Star-Telegram (Texas)
November 16, 2009

Dear Editor,

Jennifer Floyd Engel wrote about her dislike of the Yankees. (See: "Yankees title bad, in November worse," Nov. 3) It’s obvious that she bases her thinking on the assumption that the Yankees are good only because they have a big payroll and that that is an unfair advantage over the other teams. A team doesn’t go to the World Series 40 out of 105 years simply because of payroll. The Yankee organization is doing some things right. Does she also feel that her beloved Cowboys have an unfair advantage?

Creating an advantage is part of all sports competition. Some teams play in air-conditioned domes. Some teams have a lot of speed. Boston has great fans. The Angels have more money than the Rangers.

I’m a Texan and a loyal Yankee fan. I have been since I was 6 years old. No, you don’t buy championships. If you could, Jerry Jones would buy one every year.

Jim Hargrove,
Fort Worth