The Pink Kit for positive birth

Hospital Births

2008-08-18T03:20:00.000+12:00

12 August 2008

Giving Birth In Hospital

Now that you are pregnant one of the things you will need to decide is whether you will birth in hospital, home or Birth Centre (if those are available in your area).

No matter what you believe or want, sometimes you are going to birth in hospital. That’s the reality. Whether you are pleased or terrified (or some place in between) that will be your birth reality.

It’s always a great idea to take a tour of the hospital prior to the birth. You might have a choice, so look around. Pick the hospital that gives you the most of what you would like. But hospitals are hospitals and with all their best care practices everyone still knows that hospitals are where we go when we are unwell.

You or your baby might have health issues that make a hospital birth necessary. Yet there is a quality of giving birth even with the most complex health issues that’s about birth, rather than sickness, so let’s consider something that can definitely enrich this experience.

Birth skills for you and your partner are probably the best thing you can learn during pregnancy when you will birth in hospital. Hospital births might have more medical assessments, monitoring and procedures but you will be left on your own with your partner for hours on end. This is true when you are in hospital, often because of illness or injury. You’re in hospital but you are left alone, so you have lots of time to do things.

Birth is such an important and big event in Life that you really should be working with your baby’s efforts to be born just as an enjoyment. This is where birth skills such as Directed Breathing, the Pelvic Clock or Deep Touch Relaxation really come in handy.

Birth is full of excitement; it is a process for both the woman and the baby. The baby is working to come out of the woman’s body and the woman’s body is responding to the baby’s work. This is a wonderful time to use birth skills and work together as a family about to become a larger family. Enjoy the time together. You can use your birth skills and birth coaching skills at every moment of each contraction or during the surgery if you have a cesarean delivery.

Obstetricians, midwives and staff absolutely love to see women coping with labour and fathers really helping. This will be more true for hospital births that need more medical attention. All birth professionals want families to have a very positive birth experience. By using your birth skills you get to impress in your memory what you have done for yourself in your hospital birth. Do you think you’ll remember being passive to the experience or being involved by doing something for yourself?

The birth memories you create have less to do with what happens to you than what you do for yourself. Using birth skills is your road to a great hospital birth. Start learning them from 24 weeks in pregnancy and you’ll be so glad you did. Then if you have your baby in a taxi, or other unusual place, you’ll still have the skills to cope with that experience.

Wonderful Hospital Births

2008-08-16T14:01:00.000+12:00

16 August 2008

Wonderful Hospital Births Can Happen Every Time

There's an imbalance in childbirth. Everyone knows it. Women feel defensive about their choices or lack of. Birth providers claim to know what is safe or dangerous. And fathers? Well, they are still pretty much in the dark ages of ‘being there’ without really knowing what to do … not a good path toward self-esteem.

Political debates control the conversation setting up opposition as to what is the best birth: natural versus medical, doctor versus midwife and home versus hospital. Each aspect is then broken down into smaller yet persistent debates such as constant foetal monitoring as standard practice or cesarean delivery for all breeches and twins. The political debate goes on and on and on.

Families are left in a swirl of everyone’s opinion with Birth Plans the only defense or sense of control left to them. On the other hand, many women feel totally comfortable with what their doctor says. There are claims that a birth can never be good because it takes place in hospital. Other claims insist that births in hospitals are the safest and anything else almost verges on the criminal.

What if the debates are much less about the where a woman births or who is the birth provider and more about what expectant parents need to do for themselves regardless of where or with whom they give birth?

What can women do for themselves that always creates a positive birth experience … particularly in hospital births. Come to think about it pregnancy is seems an appropriate time to prepare for birth and learn birth skills. When a woman gives birth in hospital she can use those skills.

In hospital there will be medical assessments, monitoring and procedures. As long as a woman is conscious, she’ll still breathe so good breathing skills such as Directed Breathing comes in handy. Obstetricians, staff and midwives absolutely love to see women cope and manage labour pains. Or if a cesarean delivery is essential, your birth professional will appreciate your using some relaxed breathing techniques during surgery.

That’s also true for our birthing body. We can consciously use relaxation skills to soften inside our body. This reduces birth pains during labour. In a cesarean delivery, this helps us feel more involved in the birth of our baby. Even women who need or desire a cesarean can feel very disconnected during the whole process. By using birth skills, you will participate in the birth process at a deeper level. This leaves positive memories.

Consciously using skills are the actions you can take to work with your baby’s efforts to be born. This is what being involved with birth means. Birth is an action word. It’s not like sitting in a dentist’s chair, but more like a performance or event with the woman doing the performance.

Birthing in hospital is more like a motel and not a prison. Giving birth in hospital can be as full of birth skills as birthing anywhere. Women just need to know what skills to use and those are best learned during pregnancy. This is true for all pregnant women.

Fathers are now expected to help during labour and birth. When men step into hospital it’s very easy for them to feel entirely out of their depth. But no obstetrician will ever stop a dad from breathing with his partner or helping her to relax. Fathers have a job to do … they can learn coaching skills during pregnancy and know what they’re job should be.

No matter what people think, giving birth in a hospital can always be a positive experience because there is so much an expectant parents can do for themselves in whatever birth occurs.

If you believe a hospital is the safest place to give birth then do your best to make the birth even safer and easier through birth preparation that includes learning birth/coaching skills. If you believe hospital is your only option but you’re not happy, then it’s more important that you use your own birth skills to work your way through birth one breath cycle at a time. If you believe hospitals are the worst place in the world and you’re there only because … then using skills keeps you feeling in control of your own birth experience.

The birth you have is up to you when you think outside the box and realize that no one has put birth/coaching skills into the equation. Therefore, people are arguing and debating external factors and not what we can all do for ourselves.

Home Births Are More Than Choice

2008-08-14T14:00:00.000+12:00

14 August 2008

Does Choosing A Home Birth Guarantee You’ll Have A Home Birth?

The last thing you want to hear is that your chosen home birth might not be the birth you wanted or hoped for. In fact you might end up transferring to that hated and dreaded hospital. It’s SOOOOO politically incorrect to talk about the lack of success of home births or even how to make home birth success more likely.

Most people assume that ‘choosing’ a home birth is all you need to do. Birth Plans are very much like a wish list or a menu choice. After all we are living in a world where: ‘I know my rights to choose’, ‘I want it now’, ‘If I fail someone else is to blame’ and ‘I’m the victim to the medical community.’

Home births are assumed to be the perfect, ideal and best birth. For those families where a home birth has been absolutely ideal, they have extreme difficulty in imagining the huge sense of failure experienced by many families who had hoped for a home birth and a great birth.

Birth is much more than a choice. There is no way you can know what your birth will be like. What happens at all births is much more connected to how the woman takes the journey of this extraordinary activity. In fact, birth is less a ‘choice’ then an activity and that activity is often connected to the hard work of coping with the naturally occurring pain of labour.

But then it’s SOOOO politically incorrect to even talk about birth pain. Now the words: rush, wave, intensity etc are the preferred words. However, pain it is unless you are one of the very fortunate few who actually experience little or no pain. But home births can be as painful as those in hospital. A great deal of the woman’s job is to cope or manage the pain rather than get lost, feel out of control and overwhelmed.

Because you are choosing a home birth you have a much greater responsibility in a political climate that may not support your choice. If you live in a country that does support your choice then you still have a higher responsibility to safely birth at home so that home births remain a viable option for other families.

The responsibility has to do with preparing our pregnant body for birth so this very large object (our baby) can come out easily and safely. Since birth is an activity, preparing our pregnant body for this activity is very real. Since there’s no way to know what your birth will be like, you need to prepare your body to stay open, mobile and relaxed.

Hey You Dad ... Do You Really Know How To Help At Birth?

2008-08-12T13:58:00.000+12:00

12 August 2008

Expectant Fathers-to-be Are Expected To ‘Do Something’ At The Birth Of Their Children ... What’s Your Role?

Since the 1970s, fathers have been permitted to be with their partner during labour and delivery. Actually women wanted their husbands to come and help. Before that, most women were left alone and really wanted someone to help them cope with labour pain. It took a while longer for fathers to be permitted into a cesarean delivery.

Everyone expects YOU to know what to do. But who taught you how to help a woman give birth? Actually if you ask your partner who taught her how-to give birth, she’ll probably tell you ‘no one.’ For such a big experience you’d think we’d have more education or know how.

If you’ve paid any attention to your role, you’ve probably heard that you should support your partner. Has anyone defined the word ‘support’ to you? Is it ‘being there?’ And what does that mean?

In the 1970s fathers were expected to ‘coach’. That term went out of fashion because some people thought that was ‘telling women what to do’ … sort of like a sport’s coach screaming from the sideline. Now that’s a cartoon for our heads.

However, let’s really think about these two terms and you can decide for yourself which role you want. When you support someone, you are there. Some support actions are: holding hands, wiping the face with a wash clothe, being hung on, massage or even breathing along with the woman. This is if she is labouring. If she is having a surgical delivery … a cesarean then supporting her means sitting by her side, holding her hand and ‘being there’.

Coaching someone can use the same actions as a ‘support’ as well as give guidance, work together with and share a set of skills. Coaching is supporting with the ability to really help. Which do you want to do? Which do you think she really wants?

So, let’s back up. When is the best time to learn these skills? During pregnancy seems like the most appropriate time. In fact common sense would suggest that pregnancy, preparing for birth and learning birth skills go together.

Until 24 weeks no one is really thinking about ‘the birth’ but after 24 weeks time seems to fly by. Each week gets you closer to the Big Day, so it’s a natural time to prepare for birth whether your partner will have a labour/delivery or a cesarean delivery. There are wonderful coaching skills to learn such as Directed Breathing, the Pelvic Clock, Hip Lift, Sacral Manoeuvre or Deep Touch Relaxation.

These are skills based on our human body. Men and women have very similar ones and birth is the same worldwide, so such skills work well with whatever is happening in your life or what will happen in the birth.

Birth skills go into any birth as they should. Your partner will always breathe and you can help her do so in the most relaxed manner. Her body will always be in some posture or position and you can help her remain relaxed.

Big news … women’s brains work overtime during birth even if they don’t do a lot of talking. So coaching your partner during labour and birth will help her feel more in control and an active participant. She’ll be able to work with your baby’s efforts to be born which leaves everyone feeling empowered.

Not only does your partner want you to help her, your obstetrician or midwife absolutely wants you to help as well. They just don't want you to get in the way of their need to do any medical care.

As a father-to-be what will you get out of being a great birth coach? You’ll get lots of pride, lots of gratitude from your partner and praise from your birth provider. How will that feel as part of the memories you'll have about the birth of your children?

Remember you already know that pregnancy is an action word with your partner’s body changing and your baby growing. Birth is an action word too. Your partner has to do the work and you have to move beyond just ‘being there’ to taking an active role as a great birth coach who supports and offers skills as well.

100% Of Pregnant YOU Will Give Birth

2008-08-10T13:57:00.002+12:00

10 August 2008

One Hundred Percent Of Pregnant Women Will Give Birth … One Way Or Another.

Hope you agree with the title. You are never pregnant forever and aren’t you glad of that. Yes, unfortunately some pregnancies end with a miscarriage.

The operative part of the title is actually ‘one way or another.’ As a reader, you are unique. Your life is full of your life and the choices about birth centers around your life. No one is the same. Everyone is different. Is that accurate?

Don’t all humans blink, cough, have one head, breathe in our nose and put food in our mouth? In fact, we have much more in common than differences. During pregnancy, no woman stores her baby behind her shoulder blades.

There are only two ways to give birth: surgical delivery (a very new invention) and out from ‘down there’ (the historic way).

Whichever way you give birth, your body is preparing for birth from 24 weeks onward. Doesn’t it make incredible common sense that we prepare our pregnant body for birth and learn good birthing skills? Well this should make commonsense. There are two reasons. First, you can totally enjoy preparing for birth. It doesn’t happen frequently and it’s such a special time. Enjoy, enjoy and enjoy. This also brings you closer to your baby and partner and brings your partner closer to your pregnancy. What’s neat is that men have the same body so it’s easy for him to help you prepare your body for birth.

Secondly, birth is such an important and big event in life that you really should be working with your baby’s efforts during the birth whether it’s the new or historic way. Birth is birth.

Birth is full of excitement. Birth is a process for both the woman and the baby. At first the woman provides a space for the baby to grow and then the baby is working to come out of the woman’s body and the woman’s body is responding to the baby’s work.

This is a wonderful time to use birth skills such as Directed Breathing, the Pelvic Clock or Deep Touch Relaxation. When these skills are learned by you and your partner, you work together as a family which is about to become a larger family. Enjoy the time together. You can use your birth skills and side by side coaching skills at every moment of each contraction or during the surgery and recovery if you have a cesarean delivery.

By using your birth skills you get to impress in your memory what you have done for yourself in whatever birth you have. The birth memories you create have less to do with what happens to you than what you do for yourself. We can embrace what we share as human beings which is very neat. This means we can appreciate our uniqueness and yet feel connected to the backward and forward longevity of our species.

When you use your birth skills you will have a positive birth experience. You’ll feel competent, capable and confident about your role in the birth of your baby. That’s a wonderful, wonderful feeling no one can take away from you.

100% Of Pregnant YOU Will Give Birth

2008-08-10T13:57:00.000+12:00

Birth Professionals Want YOU To Be Skilled

2008-08-08T13:55:00.000+12:00

8 August 2008

Birth Professionals Are Frustrated With Childbirth Too!

There's an imbalance in childbirth. Everyone knows that and you as a doctor, obstetrician, CNM or Direct Entry Midwife and Doulas all know this. For years the issues around childbirth have been put into political debates. Things have changed yet somehow have stayed the same.

The debates have centered around broadly these issues: natural versus medical, doctor versus midwife and home versus hospital. Of course there are lots of little debates such as constant foetal monitoring as standard practice or cesarean delivery for all breeches and twins. The political debate goes on and on and on.

What if there is a social rather than political debate that has not come to the forefront. What if the debates are much less about the where a woman births or who is the birth provider and more about what expectant parents need to do for themselves regardless of where or with whom they give birth?

What if a social change could improve all birth professionals’ enjoyment of their work with birthing families? What if a social change could stop much of the political debate … at least stop the ‘either/or’ approach to birth care? This can happen when we reframe the relationship between pregnancy and childbirth from the point of view of expectant parents.

Obstetricians and midwives have all the skills to care for a woman in birth. Birth providers are highly trained from extensive education. What type of education is connected to expectant parents? Unfortunately even though birth is such a Big Event in a family, the current assumption strongly implies there is nothing a woman can do about an absolutely unknowable future event.

Given that attitude which is promoted by both obstetricians and midwives alike, families are left with either ‘do what the doctor says’ or create ‘Birth Plans’ to try to take some control over an experience that is surrounded closely by professionals. Let’s consider having the appropriate birth/coaching skills that give families the ability to feel in control by how they work with their baby’s efforts to be born.

Birth is ‘unknowable’ Does that mean it remains that way? No. Childbirth has a 100% chance of unfolding. Let’s consider the benefits of growing a social acceptance that connects pregnancy, preparing for birth, learning birth/coaching skills then using the skills during the birth.

Birth is an action word and the actions any birthing woman can take comes from the skills she learns. Because all women are human beings and all men have essentially the same body this means there can be a set of shared, common knowledge skills.

Regardless of where or with whom a woman gives birth, she has to breathe and her body will be in some position. Skills such as: Directed Breathing, the Pelvic Clock or Deep Touch Relaxation, Kate’s Cat, Hip Lift and Sacral Manoeuvre any woman can learn and then use with the necessary care assessments, monitoring and procedures that you do.

In reality every birth provider loves to see a woman have a great birth experience. Now that fathers are encouraged to come help at birth, all birth professionals really love to see men do something practical and helpful. Does having a skilled birthing population hinder or endanger the birthing process?

Doesn’t seem likely. In fact, preparing for birth, learning skills then using them should work well with maternity services. When more expectant parents arrive in your care with confidence, capability, maturity and ability to work with their baby’s efforts to be born this can make your job much easier.

Having a reframing of our social relationship between pregnancy and birth, must have a positive impact on how families feel about their birth experience … they feel more in control no matter what type of birth they have.

Birth professionals want the stalemate in childbirth to shift. Midwives want more ‘natural’ births and obstetricians want ‘safe and healthy mothers and babies’. Placing a greater ‘responsibility’ on expectant parents to prepare for birth, learn skills then use them in whatever birth they have can become part of the childbirth solution. Has any obstetrician or midwife required a woman to scream rather than breathe well?

Although breathing is something we do all the time, childbirth is called ‘labour’ for a good reason. It’s hard work. When we have the right skills for the task, we feel more in control and better about our effort. When a birth requires a surgical delivery by cesarean, any family can still enjoy preparing for birth, use the skills during surgery and recovery. Birth will always be an action no matter what.

Be Part Of A Childbirth Revolution

2008-08-06T13:53:00.000+12:00

6 August 2008

There Is No Reasonable Reason Why Not To Learn How-to Birth During Pregnancy

There's an imbalance in childbirth. Everyone knows that. For years the issues around childbirth have been put into political debates. Things have changed yet somehow have stayed the same.

The debates have centered broadly around these issues: natural versus medical, doctor versus midwife and home versus hospital. Of course there are lots of little debates such as constant foetal monitoring as standard practice or cesarean delivery for all breeches and twins. The political debate goes on and on and on.

What if there is a social rather than political debate that has not come to the forefront. What if the debates are much less about the where a woman births or who is the birth provider and more about what expectant parents need to do for themselves regardless of where or with whom they give birth?

Is there any good reason why expectant families shouldn’t have birth/coaching skills? Pregnancy is the only time to learn these task appropriate skills. Yet, no one is even suggesting that happen. We give more emphasis on a social expectation that if you want an auto license, you learn how to drive. We don’t accept any reasonable reason why not such as: ‘I’m working up to the day of my driver’s test, I don’t have time’ or ‘I’m just a teenager so I’m not expected to be capable.’

Unfortunately, for the past 40 years, women have been de-skilled based on a truth that pregnancy and birth are normal events in a woman’s life. However, connected to that truth is an accurate assumption which says: ‘Because birth is natural therefore you don’t need skills.’ Being hungry is natural but we value people who know how-to cook. These are learned skills appropriate for the natural, physiological feeling of hunger and need to eat.

Unfortunately there is also a belief that other animals (and we are mammals) don’t need to be taught how to birth therefore humans don’t. This is a wild supposition that does not factor in what makes us different from other mammals … our neo-cortex.

In fact, humans (and we are all human beings regardless of all factors from personal lifestyles to cultural diversity; from opinions about birth to health factors; to availability of modern maternity care or droughts, wars and tsunamis) love to be skilled. We thrive on feeling competent to do the task with the appropriate skills.

However, along with all the assumptive beliefs in childbirth today, there is also a truth wrapped up with another inaccurate conclusion. The Truth states there is no way to know what our birth will be like. The inaccurate assumption is that there is nothing we can do. Of course there is. The future is always unknown, but it unfolds. Birth unfolds and it happens to every single pregnant woman in the world without fail … one way or the other.

Birth is an action word and the actions any birthing woman can take comes from the skills she learns. Because all women are human beings and all men have essentially the same body this means there can be a set of shared, common knowledge skills.

Regardless of where or with whom a woman gives birth, she has to breathe and her body will be in some position. Skills such as: Directed Breathing, the Pelvic Clock or Deep Touch Relaxation, Kate’s Cat, Hip Lift and Sacral Manoeuvre any woman can learn and then use with the necessary care assessments, monitoring and procedures that you do.

Whether a woman births alone in the bush, taxi or home she should prepare her pregnant body for birth, learn birth skills and use them to work with her baby’s efforts to be born. Her husband, partner, friend or relative should learn the same set of skills to help her do this monumental task.

If the birth is going to be a cesarean delivery, pregnancy is still leading to the birth and families can enjoy taking time to prepare, learn the skills and use them during the surgery and recovery. Birth is always an action.

There is no reasonable reason why pregnancy and learning birth/coaching skills should continue to remain disconnected. We do a service to no one by just letting this amazing experience happen to us rather than know how-to. Power comes from small accomplishments.

Birth Center Success

2008-08-04T13:52:00.002+12:00

4 August 2008

How Can You Increase Your Odds To Have A Successful Birth Centre Birth

Unfortunately Birth Centers are not at all common. If you live around a free standing Birth Center then you are very lucky. You’re more likely to have access to a hospital attached Birth Centre. You’ve already discovered that they have stringent protocols and it’s very easy to fall outside their guidelines for acceptance.

If you get refused from a Birth Center or get transfer to hospital if you have learned good birth skills, keep using them and you’ll still have a really positive birth. Once you’ve been accepted to birth in a Birth Centre it’s important to increase your chances of birthing there.

Often families choose to birth outside hospital yet not at home. Birth Centers offer that in between place. Families want a more relaxed environment for the birth of their baby. Many decisions (Birth Plans or choices) are based on political feelings about birth. Somehow hospitals have gotten a bad rap, but it’s curious that so many families will head there if needed. So somehow the hospital is a love/hate place.

When a family chooses a Birth Center because they have political/personal/philosophical beliefs around childbirth when some thing happens to change those choices often despair descends. So there are two aspects to this article. First is how to reduce or eliminate the risks of transferring to hospital. Second is how to improve your hospital birth if you end up there.

One thing is certain, you’ll still have medical assessments, monitoring and perhaps some procedures in your Birth Center birth. A perceived rough vaginal exam can occur whether the woman is birthing at home, hospital or Birth Center. So a Birth Center experience can be improved by what you bring to your birth … and that’s your preparation and skills.

In the simplest form childbirth is an exercise in plumbing. A large object has to get out of a container. Keeping this understanding in mind, you can see how important it is to prepare the container to let the object out as easily and safely as possible. Fortunately, pregnancy is the only time to do this and only after 24 weeks of pregnancy.

Preparing your birthing body has to do with learning skills to keep your container open, relaxed and mobile. There are three parts of the container the object must negotiate to come out: the bony pelvis, open the cervix and open the birth canal. After 24 weeks our pregnant body begins it’s journey toward birth. Always keep in mind that birth is actually an active word. Actions are taken in order for the object to come out of the container.

Along with preparing the pregnant container for the activity of birth, it’s important to learn birth skills. Coaching skills for the birthing partner is as vitally important. Where ever you birth, pain is often connected to the activity of birth. Being at a Birth Center does not change the pain perception and women can as easily tense up their container in a Birth Center.

The pain is connected to the cervix opening. This means it’s essential you learn to relax inside your pelvic clock, keep your sacrum mobile, remain in positions that keep the bell shaped curve of your contractions and stay open. These are learned skills that you use by linking your mind to your birthing (activity) body.

If you don’t know how to reduce your own birth tension in response to pain this is more likely to lead to more assessment, monitoring and procedures and even transfer to hospital. So, the first thing you need to do is make certain you learn birth skills that come from preparing your pregnant body so you can cope and manage the pain in a relaxed manner. This means you have to look and act like you are coping with labour pains. That’s the number #1 way you can assure a Birth Center birth.

The number #2 way you can guarantee a Birth Center experience is to make certain your baby comes through your birth canal. If you have tight muscles inside or tense up as this large object comes down to this area then you risk delaying the final exit of your baby. By doing internal work from 32 weeks onward, you can assure that this part of your body can open easily without the characteristic stinging that occurs.

Planning a Birth Center experience is just one step on the road to success. However, once you’ve prepared your pregnant body and learned great birth/coaching skills then you’ll realize that you’re more likely have a successful Birth Center birth. However, you’ll also absolutely know that if you need more medical care that all your preparation and your skills will give you the birth you imagined even if you end up in that place … a hospital.

Birth Center Success

2008-08-04T13:52:00.000+12:00

Childbirth And Our Ethnic Differences

2008-08-02T13:49:00.000+12:00

2 August 2008

Ethnic Women Preparing For Childbirth

One thing is certain we are all the same. Some people believe that we need to recognize and accept our differences before we acknowledge our similarities but this is really nonsense. Primarily we are the same.

Every human being has the same number of bones and muscles. We all have a mouth, nose, two eyes, two ears. Our physiological processes are exactly the same as well. When it come to childbirth every woman carries their baby inside their body and when it comes to giving birth one contraction follows another. Finally a baby exists out of our birth canal. Not one baby comes out our ear or from the top of our head.

There is no doubt we think differently, have different beliefs, speak different languages as well as wear different clothing, make different foods and home. We even have different ways of managing the same physiological processes.

But when it comes to childbirth there are few variables to the experience. This means there must be ways to prepare for childbirth that transcends our ethnic differences and skills we can universally use to cope with the naturally occurring pain of contractions.

The one aspect of childbirth that we must acknowledge and work with is the role of pain in labour. When any woman has contractions that are not painful she gets on with whatever she is doing at the moment. Of course she is aware that this is the day she will give birth, but painless contractions aren’t much to fuss about.

And some women have that painless labour until their baby comes out. However, this is less common than having a period of painful and often very painful contractions. Everywhere in the world there are women faced with, dealing with and trying to cope with birth pain. For those of us who have experienced birth pain we know it can be very, very intense.

Having a universal set of birth preparation skills and labour management skills can definitely cross all ethnic boundaries. Every woman would benefit from knowing exactly where to soften and relax inside her pelvis because every human has the same pelvis and soft tissue. We all have the neo-cortex that can intentionally direct attention and action from our mind to body. This is one of the abilities humans all share.

When we couple our mind to our body intentionally this is called ‘skill’. Every woman can intentionally soften inside her right hip, left hip, inside her sacrum or inside her pubic bone. By doing so she creates more space for her baby and reduces internal tension that often leads to increased pain when a contraction happens.

What is fascinating, amazing and real is the fact that human men can do the same thing. Depending on who the woman’s support person will be …whether her mother or husband, everyone can do the same thing. This way people can work together to help her cope with labour pain.

There are so many ways to prepare our birthing body such as learning to keep our sacrum mobile (Kate’s Cat), creating side-to-side opening of our bony pelvis (Hip Lift) or creating space back-to-front (Sacral Manoeuvre) can be learned by all pregnant women. We can also learn the 4 Types of Breathing and which ones we use when we are relaxed or in pain and why it’s so important to use human willpower, determination and ‘choice’ to use relaxed breathing during painful contractions.

Our differences will flourish around our pregnancy and birth as we each celebrate our diverse ethic backgrounds. Creating a universal set of skills to be used during pregnancy and birth in no ways lessens our cultural importance. Good relaxing and breathing skills just blend into our ethnic backgrounds because on a deep level we do recognize our humanity.

Often when women birth, they become aware that they are part of an unbroken line of childbirth reaching back into the far Past. We know that women forever have given birth in the same way. It is during childbirth our oneness is made so obvious and unquestionable.

Fathers ... You Need To Know More!

2008-07-31T13:47:00.000+12:00

31 July 2008

Fathers Who Have Been Present At A Good Birth

Boy are men relieved when their partner has a good birth experience. Sometimes men feel they’ve had little to do with achieving that although knowing that you’ve been a good support person during labour has definitely helped.

If you believe that a previous good birth means your partner will have another good birth think twice. Every birth is different and there is no way you can predetermine that the next birth will be like.

It’s so easy to assume that once a good birth always a good birth. Too many women and men have been totally blown away by a subsequent birth being more difficult.

Actually birth is very much like an athletic event and you already know that. You have to keep preparing and practicing if you are going to do the event again. It’s ridiculously stupid to assume good previous performance means repeatedly good future performances.

Athletes have to hone their skills. However, you might not really have felt that you had skills at the previous good birth. Many men see birth as something women ‘do’. That’s right. However, women wanted you to be at the birth with them to help. Sure you might have been a great support last time by holding her hand, breathing with her, rubbing her back or holding her up for hours.

Many men however aren’t really certain they knew how-to help. In a Feminist world there is a great belief that men and women are very different. But that’s actually not entirely true.

Do you know any man or woman who doesn’t blink, sneeze, cough or can tighten up their biceps? We all can. We share the exact same bones and muscles. There are birth and coaching skills based on this reality that can do several things.

First, whether or not this next birth is as perfect as the last, enjoy preparing your partner’s birthing body during pregnancy … particularly from 24 weeks on. This way you’ll help her more likely to have a great birth next time.
Second, learning great coaching skills means you work together with your baby’s efforts to be born. This means you have to shift your head around the difference between supporting and coaching. Coaching gives you the ability to see and hear when your partner needs some help to cope with the naturally occurring pain of childbirth and then use your common skills. This means you can support and give guidance and help so she stays on top of the sensations.

If the birth for some reason is either more difficult or even requires a surgical delivery, you still have the shared skills with which to work. This is all good. The birth of your baby deserves total, conscious involvement on your part. Besides your partner knows the difference between just being there and helping her. Which do you think she wants?

When you learn birth skills with your partner that are based on our shared human body and how to specifically prepare our body for birth then your good birth experience will be even more enriched.

There is no doubt many women don’t know why or how they had a good birth. With birth skills women are more likely to consciously work with their baby’s efforts. This becomes an internal dance with the sensations and messages known only to them selves. However, when you and she share a common set of birth and coaching skills you become closer as a couple.

You know that giving birth is definitely not a noun or inaction. Your role as a father who has been at a previous good birth is not to be a spectator nor passive to be hung on. Your role is to actively work with your partner and this can be achieved by learning skills together such as Directed Breathing, The Pelvic Clock and Deep Touch Relaxation.

Even if your partner has had a previous good birth, preparing her birthing body will give her more confidence to meet the challenge of labour no matter what. No woman likes to be surprised and unprepared particularly if they have believed once a good birth always a good birth.

Having a good birth is about being involved at every moment of the experience and knowing you are working together with your baby.
Another good birth can be so much more enriching rather than feel accidental. Achieving a good subsequent birth has a great deal to do with what we do in pregnancy to prepare and learning the appropriate birth and coaching skills for the task that does unfold.

As a man who has been at a previous good birth, you will never regret spending time during pregnancy to learn good coaching skills. Just as your fathering skills grow, so can your ability to bring forth your baby.

Pregnant Disabled Women

2008-07-29T13:46:00.001+12:00

29 July 2008

Pregnant Women With Disabilities Preparing For Childbirth

Some disabilities will impact pregnancy and childbirth. Disabled pregnant women who live in modern countries will have access to very sophisticated medical maternity care. Regardless of whether your disability will require more medical care is not the emphasis of this article.

In fact this article is more about what we all share in common, how we can all prepare our pregnant body for birth and what skills we can all use to work with our baby’s efforts to be born.

Notice nowhere in the above sentence was the word ‘natural’ birth mentioned. Certainly every single pregnant woman deserves and is entitled to a positive birth experience. There is no doubt there are many aspects of modern childbirth that would seem to be antithesis to having a positive birth. Women can feel like a piece of meat heading down a conveyor belt even if they appreciate the care and believe it’s necessary.

However here is where we can distinguish between what ‘they’ do and what ‘we’ do. Pregnancy is happening within our body even if we have a disability. This means we can prepare for the birth of our baby. And doesn’t it make sense that we prepare for birth during pregnancy? In fact there is a time in pregnancy when preparing for birth becomes obvious … from 24 weeks onward. Each week after 24 weeks the uterus becomes obviously bigger. The mind also becomes increasingly more focused on the ‘Big Day’.

Preparing for childbirth has transcends any disability you might have. Your role as a mother-to-be is to prepare your body to help your baby come out. Even if you will have a cesarean delivery, why not enjoy preparing for the birth. Your body is still planning on giving birth. Having a cesarean happens in the mind not in the body. All the birth changes still occur which means you can totally enjoy preparing your pregnant body for birth.

As you prepare your pregnant body for birth, you can also learn great birth skills and your partner can learn their equally important coaching skills such as Directed Breathing, the Pelvic Clock or Deep Touch Relaxation, Kate’s Cat, Hip Lift and Sacral Manoeuvre. As a woman with a disability, you will give birth just like the other 100% of pregnant women. This means all of us can have a great bag of childbirth skills whether we labour or not, whether we have a natural or medical birth, have an obstetrician or midwife or have a home or hospital birth.

Birth is birth and using your childbirth skills just enhances your birth experience and helps your baby’s efforts to be born. This is the most exciting thing we can do for ourselves and this leads to a positive birth at every single birth. Having a disability will impact your life you know that because you’re living with your disability. Yet preparing your pregnant body for birth then using your birth skills makes you exactly the same as every single woman who is pregnant and going to give birth. Ultimately, this one human experience is entirely ours to be fully experienced.

2008-07-27T16:54:00.000+12:00

What Is Directed Breathing In Childbirth?

Although breathing techniques were popular as a way to prepare for childbirth in the 1970s, birth skills have gone out of popularity. The most common and well-known breathing techniques were Lamaze. This was very popular with expectant families particularly in the US at a time when childbirth choices had become more available.

The purpose of breathing techniques has been to distract women from the naturally occurring pain of contractions. There are many theories surrounding the use of breathing techniques as a useful tool for self-management of birth pain. Another benefit of learning breathing techniques in giving fathers an active role in coaching birth.

For most of the history of modern maternity medical care women laboured alone either in a ward separated by curtains, a semi-private or private room. By the mid-1960s women demanded the presence of their husband during labour. They didn’t want to be alone. They wanted help in coping with labour pain. The most natural person to help was the husband. After all he was going to be a father and women rightly believed that men should understand how hard labour was. Many men felt left out of the whole birth arena. Although some cultures excluded fathers historically, there were many cultures where fathers were actively involved.

A man who learned breathing techniques was much more likely to actively help his partner manage contractions. This built family relationship. Men appreciated the hard work of labour, often grew in admiration of women and bonded more easily with their baby.

However, breathing techniques didn’t always work. The most common reason that breathing techniques didn’t work had to do with the intensity of pain. When the pain became very intense in the perception of the woman, often she felt out of control and lost control of the techniques she was taught.

This had a spin off effect for the man. Often men thought that the pain had shifted into a ‘problem’. This was mixed with a belief that the woman knew what she was doing or that her feeling out of control was a normal part of labour. This led to confusion. While the woman often wanted her husband to help her, he was often uncertain how to or whether he could or should. Sometimes he just wanted the obstetrician to come in and ‘do something’ to put her out of her misery.

Directed Breathing is an entirely different way to use our breathing in labour. We breathe all the time and will continue to breathe in labour whether we groan, scream or are very quiet. Breathing techniques are based on theories about breath, where Directed Breathing is based on what we do as humans when we breathe in different situations or activities.

The one and only contributing factor to a change in a woman’s breath in labour is directly due to the amount of pain she is experiencing. Pain is subjective yet if any person who experiences what they perceive of as painful will find their breath changing. Usually one pain response is to increase the rate of our breathing or to begin to make sounds. Groaning, moaning, hyperventilating are all part of this common response to feelings of pain.

Directed Breathing childbirth skills move us from merely using a technique to understanding how humans breathe when they feel pain and when we are relaxed. Birth pain is unique. It’s usually not coupled with an injury, sickness or even a ‘problem’. It naturally occurs and is connected to the opening of our cervix that is the closure of our womb. When a baby is ready to be born, the cervix must open. This stretching causes pain during the contractions that are the action of the womb to tug open the cervix.

Learning Directed Breathing skills is vitally important during pregnancy. All humans breathe the same way so men and women will both understand what relaxed breathing feels like compared to stressed breathing. This means couples can work more closely and men can understand the sounds a woman makes in labour and what it means.

Directed Breathing skills do create a focus to work with the baby’s efforts to be born even if your inner voice doesn’t like the experience. Using Directed Breathing permits us to use our willpower, determination and choice at every moment of birth. In fact as contractions get more painful, we are more likely to use our Directed Breathing skills more deeply. It makes common sense and becomes our default behavior. Our partner can model the best breathing type and work with us at every phase of each contraction.

Birth preparation and childbirth skills will become the common sense approach to pregnancy in time because they work in all births. Directed Breathing skills can be learned when you are planning a cesarean and used during delivery and recovery. Birth is birth. We will all breathe. Intentionally using your Directed Breathing skills will give you a sense of control of the experience as well as working with your baby’s efforts. This is terrific.

There's A Big Difference

2008-07-25T16:53:00.000+12:00

23 July, 2008

Is There A Difference Between Childbirth Information And Childbirth Skills?

When the author of this article had her first child in 1970 in the US, there was a huge societal expectation that expectant parents learn Lamaze breathing and relaxation techniques. By the 1980s this had declined. In the place of learning skills, there became a high social expectant that families be given information which would lead to informed consent and the creation of Birth Plans. This has persisted since then.

Although information, choice and plans are vitally important when planning for the birth of our children, we have intentionally led people to believe that birth is such a natural aspect of women’s lives that no skills are necessary. Often women are told ‘You’ll know what to do on the day’ or ‘cats don’t need to be taught to birth neither do you.’

Although birth advocates hoped that given families information about the medical assessment, monitoring and procedures that will often accompany birth that the choices they make will create a less medical approach to childbirth. Unfortunately this has not succeeded. We must now consider a new approach to birth that brings childbirth skills back into what makes common sense to the public and to birth providers. This becomes a ‘reframing’ of public opinion.

A man by the name of George Lakoff defines: ‘Reframing’ as changing the way the public sees the world. It is changing what counts as common sense.’

Gathering information is an entirely different process than developing skills. Information is collecting facts, data, statistics and knowledge. These can be used to make choices, learn about the process of childbirth and know more about care options. However, information is often a passive yet mental process. Learning and using childbirth skills is an activity. Skills must be learned as a how-to, practiced and then used.

Unfortunately but true, childbirth is surrounded by much political debate. Since the 1980s, there have been two sides to this conversation that has effectively required expectant families to place themselves in one or the other camps. It’s as though these two sides are constantly in conflict with one another: natural vs medical, home vs hospital and doctors vs midwives.

Part of gathering childbirth information and making choices revolves around choosing which side you are on or where you hope or plan your birth to be. By doing so there becomes a judgment surrounding birth, placing one type of birth as better than the other … and that depends on what side you take.

Childbirth skills swing both ways and can do much to heal the chasm that now exists. Every pregnant woman worldwide shares the same body no matter what birth they will have. This means we can all prepare our birthing body for the birth of our baby. Because we share the same body whether we’re tall, short, thin or fat; whether we smoke or eat organics or having our first baby or 10th we can all enjoy preparing our birthing body for birth. All of us have to let our baby our of our body whether this will be through labour and delivery or a cesarean birth.

Preparing for birth and learning birth skills should become what ‘the public sees as common sense.’ Pregnancy is such a unique part of life even though it’s natural and may be full of medical issues. We can thoroughly enjoy preparing our body for birth. In the process of preparing our body, we can learn birth and coaching skills. Men have the same body and if they are going to be with us during the birth they need to take an active role. An active role can best be achieved by learning a set of coaching skills.

Birth skills can range from learning ‘techniques’ to learning specific skills such as Directed Breathing, the Pelvic Clock or Deep Touch Relaxation, Kate’s Cat, Hip Lift and Sacral Manoeuvre. Techniques definitely have helped many of us work through labour however techniques often fail because we don’t really understand what they are meant to achieve.

Learning childbirth skills that are based on our human body and behaviors are much simpler to use. All of us breathe in a relaxed manner when we feel no pain, are not working hard nor in stress. However, when these things occur our breathing changes. We can learn which types of breathing create relaxation and then choose to use them whether we experience the pain of contractions or during surgery and recovery.

Every birth provider loves to work with a woman who is using her own set of skills because they do not interfere with assessments, monitoring or procedures. Fathers who know how to help and actively participate in birth are just adored by midwives, obstetricians and staff. When couples work together with their baby’s efforts to be born, everyone is exhilarated. Birth becomes a positive experience that is actively worked through.

So when you are thinking about birth just keep in mind that gathering childbirth information so you can make informed choices is only part of what makes common sense. Learning, practicing and using birth skills is what you will do on the ‘Big Day’ and are well worth it. You’ll forget much of the information and Birth Plans will either eventuate or change however, your skills can be used with each breath.

Using skills are what make any person feel empowered particularly when you have the right skills for the task at hand. Birth skills will give you the edge, the ability to work in the present time with what is actually happening. Skills are adaptable. Having birth skills also reducing any sense of shame, blame or guilt. Instead of focusing on what ‘they’ are doing to you or around you, you focus on what you are doing for yourself. This keeps you focused more on your management style than on being passive to events.

George Lakoff is correct we need a reframing of childbirth if more families are to have positive memories of their birth experiences. With birth skills all births can be thoroughly enjoyed and become the self-empowering experience they should be.

Today I Gave Birth

2008-07-23T16:55:00.000+12:00

23 July 2008

Twenty-five years ago I gave birth to my son. My daughter was born 12 years earlier so I've been part of the enormous changes in childbirth.

I didn't know The Pink Kit skills when I gave birth to my daughter in 1970s. Between then and 1892 when I gave birth to my son, these skills developed.

I didn't plan for my son to be born 8 weeks early. I didn't plan to be far from home and in a strange town. I didn't plan on having to arrive at a strange hospital at 3:30 in the morning in labour.

However, I did have my skills!

This permitted me to work with staff and the doctor through their concerns that my child could be very premature in size. Because I behaved myself (terrible word but one that helps others see that you are coping and managing some event well) they were less concerned.

Basically, they watched as I birthed him myself. Every single moment of the labour I used one or more of my Pink Kit skills.

Between contractions (although they didn't want me to get off the bed) I went around my Pelvic Clock, softening every single place inside my pelvis. As a contraction started, I knelt at the end of the bed and kept my pelvis open and soft.

I used my Directed Breathing at each inhale and exhalation. I also went around my cervix using the Cervical Relaxation and made certain that my sacrum was mobile.

As each contraction ended, I then went back into my most relaxed position so I could once again go around my Pelvic Clock.

Whenever my contractions notched up a peg, I checked myself. The doctor then wanted to check me as well and that was fine. Yes, I had to lie on my back for those few moments but I didn't have any difficulty staying in control of myself and immediately got into the position I wanted to given that I had to remain on the bed. But it didn't matter whether I was on the bed or floor, it's all in the mind and body how we perceive of ourselves.

Anyway, within an hour and half I could feel I was almost dilated. They wanted to take me to theatre to birth so they moved me on a rolling table and put me in the middle of bright lights with everyone dressed in greens.

Although not my preference, none of that mattered. I was fine doing my work and frankly it didn't matter what was going on around me.

I needed some lubricant while I massaged my vagina between each contraction. During each pushing contraction, I kept my hand on my baby's head just to guide him. I had four contractions and he was born.

Actually he flew out ... and grew up to be a pilot! They whipped him off to the intensive care while I birthed the afterbirth.

No, I would have preferred something different but I had what I had and I wasn't going to waste one moment of MY experience!

The doctor asked me to remain in bed for 4 hours before I went to see him. He was fine. Five pounds and 8 weeks early. He needed a wee bit of oxygen but within 12 hours he was fine.

I took him home the next day. The doctor would have preferred he stay longer but we agreed that I would come back every few days and of course, if there were any problems I'd call.

This is the bottom line .... because I behaved myself, the doctor trusted me to not be stupid and ideological. Do you know what I mean?

Having Pink Kit skills keeps you focused on what's important ... doing your own work. It might not be the perfect birth ... but boy it sure was. I'm incredibly proud, 25 years later, about my personal experience in how I birthed my son.

Since I've traveled extensively in traditional communities, I know that I live in a privilege country where medical care is available, we're not a war, there is no disease threatening us, there's no drought, plenty of food, no flood or earthquake.

Birthing in hospital is a privilege to millions of women worldwide. But that didn't mean I couldn't do the birth I wanted. What I wanted was to do the birth where ever I gave birth AND I DID.

Now I share with millions of others the skills they need to know to do their birth. Take charge of yourself, get on with it and no matter what type of birth you have you can do just what I and hundreds of thousands of women and men have done since my son was born ... give birth!

Birth Is Guaranteed

2008-07-21T16:51:00.001+12:00

21 July, 2008

One Hundred Percent Of Pregnant Women Will Give Birth … One Way Or Another.

Hope you agree with the title. You are never pregnant forever and aren’t you glad of that. Yes, unfortunately some pregnancies end with a miscarriage.

The operative part of the title is actually ‘one way or another.’ As a reader, you are unique. Your life is full of your life and the choices about birth centers around your life. No one is the same. Everyone is different. Is that accurate?

Don’t all humans blink, cough, have one head, breathe in our nose and put food in our mouth? In fact, we have much more in common than differences. During pregnancy, no woman stores her baby behind her shoulder blades.

There are only two ways to give birth: surgical delivery (a very new invention) and out from ‘down there’ (the historic way).

Whichever way you give birth, your body is preparing for birth from 24 weeks onward. Doesn’t it make incredible common sense that we prepare our pregnant body for birth and learn good birthing skills? Well this should make commonsense. There are two reasons. First, you can totally enjoy preparing for birth. It doesn’t happen frequently and it’s such a special time. Enjoy, enjoy and enjoy. This also brings you closer to your baby and partner and brings your partner closer to your pregnancy. What’s neat is that men have the same body so it’s easy for him to help you prepare your body for birth.

Secondly, birth is such an important and big event in life that you really should be working with your baby’s efforts during the birth whether it’s the new or historic way. Birth is birth.

Birth is full of excitement. Birth is a process for both the woman and the baby. At first the woman provides a space for the baby to grow and then the baby is working to come out of the woman’s body and the woman’s body is responding to the baby’s work.

This is a wonderful time to use birth skills such as Directed Breathing, the Pelvic Clock or Deep Touch Relaxation. When these skills are learned by you and your partner, you work together as a family which is about to become a larger family. Enjoy the time together. You can use your birth skills and side by side coaching skills at every moment of each contraction or during the surgery and recovery if you have a cesarean delivery.

By using your birth skills you get to impress in your memory what you have done for yourself in whatever birth you have. The birth memories you create have less to do with what happens to you than what you do for yourself. We can embrace what we share as human beings which is very neat. This means we can appreciate our uniqueness and yet feel connected to the backward and forward longevity of our species.

When you use your birth skills you will have a positive birth experience. You’ll feel competent, capable and confident about your role in the birth of your baby. That’s a wonderful, wonderful feeling no one can take away from you.

Fathers ... and VBAC

2008-07-20T16:45:00.001+12:00

July 19, 2008

The reason for a previous cesarean delivery unfortunately does not fall into the ‘one only reason’ category. There are so many reasons why a birth ends with a cesarean delivery. Now you are faced with your partner’s decision (which may or may not have been equally or decision) to attempt a vaginal birth after a cesarean or VBAC.

Now you are faced with having to take a role you probably feel totally unprepared for. That’s a natural feeling for fathers to feel. A vaginal birth after a cesarean delivery (vbac) is still a topic of political debate between the medical community and the consumer … or pregnant woman. Often fathers feel excluded fully from the discussion. Your partner has very emotional reasons why she wants to have a vaginal birth.

Often her feelings and emotions seem in conflict with the medical community’s opinion that birth is risky enough much less adding the risk of attempting a vaginal birth after major abdominal surgery. Your partner might find support from other women who have successfully had a vaginal birth, but rarely will you hear from a father who has had to support this experience.

Well things can change. You can’t go back and re-do the previous birth but you can do a great deal to have either a successful vbac or a successful repeat cesarean. Oh goodness, why should this article even include a successful repeat cesarean if the goal is to have a vaginal birth after a cesarean birth?

But it’s important to go down this path as well. There aren’t really any women who will insist on a vaginal birth when they really know their baby is at risk. Parents will lay their life down for their child and that includes women who desperately want a vaginal birth experience.

With the right birth skills, any birth can be a positive experience. Preparing for birth is something that should happen during pregnancy. In fact, pregnancy and giving birth need to be tied together through learning both birth and coaching skills. Your job is to learn coaching skills.

Certainly you’ll be faced with so many things to think about. And many fathers do not feel particularly consulted. Preparing for childbirth is about: the choices/or lack of choice your partner has, the health issues of both your baby and your partner and your doctors or midwives’ opinions about a vaginal birth after a cesarean.

Wrapped around all of these complex issues is your relationship to the mother of your child. Having a vbac is an emotional decision for most women. They feel they have missed out on a primal female experience. There’s not much logic often in the decision. This isn’t right or wrong. And you have the right to ask your partner if she wants a vbac no matter what the outcome.

You’ll learn that women will say ‘I’ll have a cesarean if I think it’s necessary’. What she wants from you is support to try to have a vaginal birth as long as she and your baby are fine. And this is reasonable.

If you want to help make this happen, you must get your head turned in the right direction. It’s important for you as a man to realize that all pregnant women (100%) will give birth one way or another. This is essential to really know. Once you totally ‘get this’, you can take the next step and realize that during pregnancy is the time to learn birth skills (for your partner) and coaching skills for you.

Enjoying preparing for the birth of your baby can take place whether the birth is vaginal or by surgery. Birth is birth. This means as a father, you absolutely must learn a good set of coaching skills. Coaching moves beyond ‘support’. To support a woman in labour is basically a rather passive role. Coaching is not telling women what to do. It means working with the woman at every moment of this dynamic process whether this is one contraction following another or whether it’s during the surgery.

As long as the woman is awake and not unconscious, she still will breathe and her body will be in some position. This means she can always use breathing and internal relaxation skills at every moment of the birth process. You can help her do that and be an equal participant to that process.

Birth is actually a verb rather than a noun. Birth is also a process rather than an outcome. That’s why taking time during the last 16 weeks in pregnancy to learn birth and coaching skills adds a wonderful component to your partnership and your closeness to your child.

Another thing about birth that men have to understand is that it’s a very physical experience to our body. This body is something that both women and men share in common. We all have the same bones, muscles, can blink, cough and relax when we pay attention to doing that.

This means there are a set of coaching skills that fathers can learn and practice during pregnancy that increase confidence, brings you closer to your partner and baby. This is all good.

Then you can take a natural leap into ‘The Birth’. There are women who labour and then have a cesarean delivery. There are women who labour and have a vaginal delivery. There are women who have a cesarean delivery without having contractions. But keep in mind, birth is birth and all pregnant women will give birth one way or another.

This means as a man, you can see birth as an equal opportunity experience. You can bring your coaching skills to whatever birth your partner has. By working together with a shared set of birth skills based on our human body means that both of you can have a positive and fulfilling birth experience.

Just remember to bring your coaching skills into whatever birth is happening. Bring breathing, relaxation and great communication skills to your birth. Your doctor or midwife will love to see you, as a man, really helping your partner give birth. Birth is an action and coaching is the action that helps the woman accomplish her task.

Is a vaginal birth after a cesarean possible? Of course it is. This is much easier to accomplish when you have great coaching skills such as Directed Breathing, The Pelvic Clock and Deep Touch Relaxation and have taken the time during pregnancy to learn them. However, your goal must be deeper. Your goal must be to learn coaching skills during pregnancy and use those coaching skills in whatever birth you have.

Birth is birth and every birth can be the most enjoyable experience as well as an experience that grows your closeness as a couple and family. No family should be left with shame, blame and guilt around the birth of their children.

When pregnancy becomes connected to learning how to birth for the woman and how to coach for the father, then birth will become something we do no matter what by working together. When a vbac has been achieved because of the childbirth preparation you have done during pregnancy, then you realize that there are very specific skills you do need to accomplish the task.

So, as a father supporting a vbac, get stuck into learning coaching skills from 24 weeks of pregnancy. Every day that you practice together breathing and relaxation, you both feel more confident.

Welcome back

2008-06-19T14:46:00.002+12:00

18 June 2008

Long time since I wrote in our birthing better blog. I've been in Costa Rica and the Galapagos Islands which is off the coast of Ecuador.

I had access to cable TV and believe it or not there were stations dedicated to showing childbirth! That's pretty amazing to me really.

The births were all sorts: cesareans, water births, hospital births with lots of intervention and others quite 'natural'.

Now you have to understand that as the Trustee to Common Knowledge Trust is to speak from one perspective only .... whether the mother and father-to-be appear to have birth and coaching skills. That's the only thing I look at when watching birth videos.

Before I go further let's all agree on one thing ... if you're pregnant you will give birth ... guaranteed 100%. How, where, when, with whom are all up in the air until that day but one way or another you will give birth.

Giving birth one way or another is not the Pink Kit Method For Birthing Better® goal. Our goal is for you to recognize that giving birth is an activity you have to do and that activity is entirely, exclusively and totally directed to your baby's efforts to be born.

If you don't have the appropriate skills to do that then you'll still give birth but it will be one way or another ... and what I saw on TV in both Costa Rica and Ecuador was no different than I've seen on thousands of videos since 1970 ... women are just getting through labour.

Curiously I also watched a Trinny and Suzanne program about bra fitting. How does that have anything to do with giving birth? They went to the last town in the UK that made bras and set up a challenge. They invited 1,000 women to come to a free bra fitting and receive a free bra.

They got 400 professional bra fitters who kept records of how many women had the correct size bra. What did they discover? Ninety percent (90%) did not have the correct bra on. 90%!

Then Trinny and Suzanne talked about why so few women. They wondered if women were lazy, didn't care, didn't know or what. The reasons are not so important as to the result. If you don't know or don't have the skills then you can't do the task at hand.

So with 90% of women in a town that made bras not having the correct size, well what does that say about us giving birth?

From what I see on birth videos from the perspective of the Pink Kit skills, I can tell you that more that 90% of women don't have a clue how to give birth, they are just getting through birth. I'll also tell you that 100% of fathers don't have a clue how to help.

This is sad but a hidden epidemic. Because women get through birth, it's assumed that it's perfectly ok for them to do just that. Society places no social expectation that pregnancy is the time to learn the best skills so every woman can work with her baby's efforts to be born and that fathers need to know how to help his partner do that task well.

We've got to up our game.

What's even more curious about these real life births shown on TV ... whether the woman births in water or with lots of tubes the lack of skills is absolutely the same for both the woman and man. Not only that but the care providers are all very alert and using their skills and watching the woman 'just get by' and ignore the father who is usually just paralyzed by her side.

Anyway, birth has got to be better than this.

So get your Pink Kit or give it as a gift to a loved one. Don't go into birth without the skills that can change your birth experience from something that happens to you to something you participate in at every single moment.

I guess I'm back online for a while.

Off For A Month

2008-05-15T14:33:00.002+12:00

14 May 2008

I'm off on my vacation on Friday.

What's happening at the moment at Common Knowledge Trust? Well, so much!

Internet marketing is probably the biggest focus. What are pregnant women and fathers-to-be looking for? Do expectant parents want birth and coaching skills? Do they know they even need them?

What's wild when we think about it ... all parents have become parents because there has been a birth. Birth is so much part of our lives that we take it for granted.

'The Birth' sort of is like 'The Wedding'. But 'The Wedding' stories are often happier memories than birth memories. Most people just think women need to 'get through the birth' and 'aren't they lucky they and the baby is safe'.

We have to step up and have a change of thinking. We have to begin to see childbirth as an incredible ACTIVITY that has to be done. We have to see pregnancy as the time to learn how to do this activity.

All activities are done better when you use your own skills!

There are hundreds and thousands of working moms who have a passion about childbirth. These are our wholesalers and affiliates.

Come on board and get this unique childbirth skills resource to families in your local area.

See you mid-June.

Wintergreen, trustee

I GOT IT!

2008-05-07T19:23:00.002+12:00

I figured out how to put The Pink Kit Powerpoint Presentation onto the blog template.

Bravo me!

Isn't it wonderful when you develop skills to do something.

Heed this if you're pregnant or an expectant father ... learn skills so you can help your baby be born.

I'll be offline for a month starting from next week. Just thought I'd let you know.

By the way Tony from Bullseyecopywriting.

Tony's one of those wizards who helps Common Knowledge Trust to get The Pink Kit message out there.

Pink Kit PowerPoint Presentation Ready

2008-05-06T16:37:00.002+12:00

6 May 2008

Life is sweet today. I figured out how to download our new Pink Kit PowerPoint Presentation onto Slideshare.net. Go and view it. If you're more techie than I am, you can download it and share with your pregnant friends.

Then become a wholesaler and gather expectant families together show them the slide show and become part of growing a skilled birthing population.

Shameful aren't I? Of course we promote The Pink Kit Package? Why won't we? How many great birth stories do you hear? We always hear great Pink Kit birth stories! But at the moment we're in the vast minority ... that will change as The Pink Kit message spreads.

There will be a Tipping Point and expectant parents everything will tweek that because they are pregnant, they have to learn to birth/coach. This isn't rocket science. It's common sense.

And finally, there is a resource that focuses entirely on the birth/coaching skills that work 100% in every single birth! Because every single pregnant woman will give birth and every birth is an activity. And, every activity is best done with skills.

And for men who will be there to 'support' ... YOU have to move beyond that and become an equally skilled partner. Coaching is an activity. Supporting is passive. Don't be passive. Work with your birthing partner to work with your baby's efforts to be born.

Common Knowledge Trust wants to thank Tony at Bullseyecopywriting for the work he's done to make the PowerPoint creative and interesting. He's one of our secret weapons.

Get in touch with Kim at info@birthingbetter.com and become both an affiliate partner and a wholesaler or just purchase The Pink Kit Package as a gift to someone you know and love who is pregnant.

Can't Stay Away

2008-05-01T08:29:00.002+12:00

1 May 2008

Another blog entry. I'm beginning to understand the sense of 'diary' that blogs have. Never kept one myself. Until last year I didn't take a camera with me either. So here I am faced with this sort-of diary.

So what's the news for us here at Common Knowledge Trust and The Pink Kit? Well it's always exciting and NEVER, EVER boring!

We've submitted the proposal to the District Health Board who is making their 20 year strategic maternity plan and without a doubt they believe 'growing a skilled birthing population' should be part of that plan. Yeh on them!

This will mean that every couple attending their childbirth classes will be loaned a Pink Kit Package until their birth. The only instruction these couples will get are 6 ten minute 'sample experiences' from each resource and a continual reminder that they are adults quite capable of self learning.

I'll keep you informed.

Our friends in Nigeria are also keen for me to come there next year and begin the process of introducing families in their country to The Pink Kit. Basically, this will go one step further than Pakistan.

This time after sharing the skills, the groups will help to determine the best way to bring the skills to villages.

I'll keep you informed about that project.

I've just received the PDF of the Australian Midwifery Expo in Brisbane 5-7 November. I'll be one of their keynote speakers. In fact I'm their first speaker! That's great that this midwifery group is considering the implications of connecting pregnancy to learning to birth which includes every pregnant family. This is much healthier than thinking in terms of 'natural or medical' births. This concept tends to place positive birth with 'natural' birth and not quite positive birth to 'medical' birth. That concept is pretty divisive.

I'd put a link to the PDF but don't know how yet.

We're beginning to get our autoresponder up on some pages of http://www.birthingbetter.com so the Pink Kit community can grow stronger. Although we sell a product that teaches expectant parents how-to birth/coach ... basically this is a concept that will improve society. So in reality we're a community of families who understand the concept that when they are pregnant is the time to learn these skills.

There are many more exciting things happening but all will be revealed later.

Pink Kit Survey Response

2008-04-23T21:43:00.002+12:00

23 April 2008

We've just put a survey on both http://www.birthingbetter.com and https://www.thepinkkit.com.

It's been very interesting indeed. One comment was this:

'The openness of your views and the non-inflammatory way both men and women were talked about. Ye shall be quoted!'

That's the whole purpose of The Pink Kit ... to be inclusive!

That's probably why The Pink Kit Package is one of the most purchased childbirth skills resource on the market. It attracts people from all backgrounds and lifestyles and more importantly expectant parents approaching many different types of birth.

We're here to answer any questions you have. Just contact us at info@birthingbetter.com.