Film Blender

Christmas is coming early!

2009-11-11T23:23:00.002-05:00

Santas Slay is an absurd Christmas comedic-horror film staring the wrestler Goldberg as Santa Claus. The film also stars Douglas Smith as Nicolas Yuleson, Emilie de Ravin as Mary Mackenzie, Robert Culp as Grandpa Yuleson, Dave Thomas as Pastor Timmons, and Saul Rubinek as Mr. Green. This is probably the only worthwhile thing that Brett Ratner has ever produced (directed by his former assistant, David Steiman).

The film is a jolly old tale where Santa is revealed to actually be a child of Santa who lost a bet with an angel and was forced into a 1000 year life of spreading cheer and happiness. It's been 1000 years.

The film isn't scary. It's not even that good, but somewhere in there, it's fun to watch. It is really fun to watch. And I think that's where people missed the point. The film wasn't designed to be scary. It wasn't designed to be anything but a tongue-in-cheek absurd film where Santa is played by a pro-wrestler and nothing is taken seriously.

Highlights of the movie are when James Caan is stuffed to death by turkey and the silly "hell-deer" 'shaky cam' scene towards the end of the movie.

** 1/2 out of *****

The most horrible person ever in cinema

2009-11-05T22:14:00.001-05:00

Ebola Syndrome or Yi boh lai beng duk is a 1996 Hong Kong horror film about a murderous undergound criminal named Kai who contracts the Ebola virus and then proceeds to give it to people across South Africa and then later, in Hong Kong.

If you want to know the most horrible fictional non-supernatural character presented on film? Look no further Kai has the competition beat. He's a horrible person. And I mean real horrible. Everyone wants to bully him (the poor translation decides to present us with "bully" for something that would probably better be translated to "don't frak with me."

Kai literally gives people the Ebola virus, through sexual intercourse, spitting on them, and even killing, butchering, and making his boss and his wife into "African Buns" to serve at the restaurant he worked at. This is almost as horrible as how he contracted it, raping a Zulu who dies in the middle of the act. What, the film can't be as bad as I'm describing it? Sorry, it's worse.

Shocking. Disgusting. Almost surreal, the film is a disaster to look and stare at. And if you don't like it, don't bully me. But do, please check it out, won't you?

31 days of Halloween: Slaughter High

2009-10-31T20:42:00.002-04:00

Slaughter High is a 1986 slasher-horror film written and directed by George Dugdale, Mark Ezra, and Peter Litten.

Slaughter High is a film I first saw a few years ago at the Washington Psychotronic Film Society, a fantastic organization that shows some very obscure and zany films ranging from horribly bad comedies to little known or largely forgotten horror films. This is one of those horror films that, well, everyone forgot about.

The film is about a group of post-graduate high schoolers (played largely by people in their late twenties and mid-thirties (Caroline Munro, who was I believe 35 in this film). They used to treat their classmate Marty Rantzen horribly. They would play pranks on him and treat him like garbage. The problem here is Marty was a loser, and was either oblivious to most of the hazing from his classmates or he had just gotten so used to it it didn't phase him.

Unsuspecting Marty ends up smoking a joint (full of poison or something along those lines) using one of the science lab's Bunsen burner (real smart). He gets sick and the kids play a trick on him by adding chemicals to his experiment to cause an small mishap when he proceeds with his experiment. Well Marty returns, and what do you know, his experiment is a bust, and woops, a jar of acid that was not secured very well falls and shatters in front of him, spraying his entire face and body.

Years later they all are invited to their High School reunion. The entire gang shows up, and soon realizes they're the only ones there. Unfazed by that suspicious situation, they all break into the school - which appears abandoned - another thing to be suspicious at which none of them appear to be.

The gang finds a party all set up just for them. The problem is, it's April Fool's Day - and they're about to be punked.

The film is silly, and the characters are mind bogglingly stupid. Who has sex after one of their friends dies in front of them? Who jokes around after one of their friends dies in front of them and then it becomes clear they're unable to get out of the house? Who pranks someone who's using dangerous chemicals? Ah, stupid people in movies that just deserve to die. That's who.

On a side note, Simon Scuddamore, who plays the film's slasher, committed suicide shortly after the film's release.

The music is epic.

** out of *****

Dennis Hopper has Prostate Cancer

2009-10-31T20:26:00.000-04:00

Moments after watching his Twilight Zone episode, "He's Alive," I find out Dennis Hopper has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. Let's hope for the best.

Zooey and Katy - A Halloween made too easy?

2009-10-31T02:25:00.000-04:00

31 days of Halloween: The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari

2009-10-30T22:06:00.001-04:00

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari is a 1920 German expressionism horror film directed by Robert Wiene.

Overall the movie was absolutely astonishing in terms of its visuals, but for the most part the story was lacking a bit. Only toward the end did it really start to pick up. Then again, for being a 67 minute film (at least the version I saw), it was pretty good.

The visuals were breathtaking and like a nightmare at the same time. The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari is regarded as the first German expressionist film (or at least the film that broke the technique into mainstream) - if I remember correctly. The sets are a sight to see, and frankly no film could honestly pull something so bizarre off today. Absolutely all of the doors are crooked, the windows slanted, walkways are bent, roads twist and turn, and it all looks like some bizarre painting that Salvador Dalí would have relished in.

Even though I found the story lacking a little bit, though it's the dawn of cinema, what should I expect, it was quite clever. The set up of the story is completely innocuous, and is dashed to shreds later on, much to my surprise. The story opens in a pretty dull and "normal" setting, and quickly thrusts the viewer and the characters into the "expressionistic reality" which could easily be viewed as a dream-world nightmare of epic proportions.

I personally would have to say that the more seasoned film buffs should check this film out, as it will probably confuse or bore the plebeians. It's not quite so scary as it is creepy and disturbing. The story has been lifted time and time again over the years, probably lessening the impact of the story to today's audience compared to when it was first released.

***/*****

31 days of Halloween: The Tripper

2009-10-29T18:06:00.002-04:00

The Tripper is a 2007 American horror film. The film is directed, produced, written by, and stars David Arquette. Other actors in this film include Courteney Cox Arquette, Balthazar Getty, Jaime King, Lukas Haas, Thomas Jane, Stephen Heath, Jason Mewes, Marsha Thomason, and Paul Reubens.

The film is a silly, absurd story which reminds me of the over the top, "so bad it is good" horror films of the 1980s.

The film deals with a group of twentysomethings who are traveling to a "love and peace concert." Paul Reubens (Pee-Wee Herman) plays the unscrupulous manager of the concert, hamming up just about every single line he has in the film. Thomas Jane plays the local sheriff. The teens traveling to the concert include Samantha (King), Jack (Heath), Jack (Haas), Joey (Mewes) and Linda (Thomason).

The villain of the film is a killer who dons a Ronald Reagan mask. Hence the name, "The Tripper" - a play off a line from "Knute Rockne, All American" where Ronald Reagan says the line "Win one for the Gipper." Well, the film devolves into a series of hippies getting axed to death in the woods. Hey, better than that "evil Republican" chopping down the forest, right?

So silly. Very enjoyable. This film was originally part of 2007's After Dark Horrorfest.

** 1/2 out of *****

Hippy Blood will Trickle Down

2009-10-29T17:35:00.000-04:00

The trailer to The Tripper.

31 days of Halloween: Evil Dead II

2009-10-28T23:43:00.000-04:00

Evil Dead II, the sequel to The Evil Dead, is a 1987 horror film starring Bruce Campbell and directed by Sam Raimi. The film was followed by Army of Darkness, which came out in 1993.

The interesting thing about this film is that the first 15 or so minutes is essentially a retelling of the first film. Ash and his girlfriend Linda travel to a cabin in the woods for a vacation. This cabin is not their own, but one they find unoccupied and decide to stay there for the weekend. He comes across a tape by Professor Knowby who is reciting passages from the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis (The "Book of the Dead"). Well, with those recitations, Ash unknowingly unleashes the ungodly force of the dead upon them. Linda is possessed, and she becomes a deadite. He kills her and he is then lifted up into the air and thrown into the woods.

This is where the first film ends (well sorta, since it's an alternate version of the events from the first film). The second film finally "starts" here - where Ash, on the ground is possessed by a demon until the sun "forces" it out of him. He is trapped in the woods, unable to escape so he returns to the cabin for shelter and some potential safety. While Ash is in the cabin, Professor Knowby's daughter Annie and Ed travel to the cabin with locals Jake and Bobby Jo.

The for make it to the cabin to find it in shambles, covered in blood, and Ash sitting there in the middle of it. At first he's blamed for all the death and destruction. He's thrown down into the cellar, and the three soon discover that Knowby had to kill his wife, Henrietta, who had become a deadite and then buried her in that same cellar. Henrietta then broke through the soil and began to attack Ash.

Ash's mission is now to help everyone make it out of the woods alive and send the demons back to hell.

The film is entertaining, funny, frightening, and suspenseful. It's still more of a horror film than a comedy, something that Army of Darkness is more of. When you take into account the recap at the start, and the modified start of Army of Darkness that changes the end of Evil Dead II, the film runs around 70 minutes. When the heck did Sam Raimi start doing 2 hour+ long films?

*** 1/2 out of *****

31 days of Halloween: William Castle Appreciation

2009-10-27T23:06:00.008-04:00

Well I finally made it back to the Washington Psychotronic Film Society (I hadn't been there since they moved to The Warehouse). And boy, aside from having to switch trains a few times, it was a blast!

The theme of the night was in honor of William Castle, a schlocky director who would use marketing ploys and cheap thrills to get people to see his movies (I reviewed House on Haunted Hill, one of his films earlier in the month). The movie that was selected was "13 Frightened Girls!" which, well wasn't very frightening - marginally entertaining in an odd sort of way, a kind of Nancy Drew international mystery - but with more death and the crazy doctor from The Manchurian Candidate.

I feel like I'm skimping tonight, but I'm cold and wet from the rain outside and I just can't get myself to write anything more related to horror.

Watch the trailer, if you dare (it basically gives away most of the movie).

Check out more information:

31 days of Halloween: Sisters of Death

2009-10-26T23:28:00.000-04:00

Sisters of Death is a 1972 horror film (that was ultimately released in 1977). The film stars Arthur Franz, Claudia Jennings (playboy playmate!), Cheri Howell. The movie was directed by Joseph Mazzuca.

The plot revolves around six sorority sisters who play a game of Russian Roulette (smart move there ladies). Well, as the audience would suspect, one of the blanks was replaced by a real bullet. Years later the 5 remaining girls are invited to an isolated house, to reminisce about the past. And everything will be dug up. As the box description says, "now it's time to play."

It is a film before its time. The movie has all the quintessential slasher horror elements, but years before most of them were widely used.

I found this film for 1.99 at a computer store with one of those "fake" generic non-descript covers that it shares with a dozen other films. The image on the front isn't from the movie, which I suppose is almost as bad as using Joe Don Baker's mug from Mitchell for the cover of Curse of Demon Mountain. Worse yet, the box is wrong and says "John Kelly" directed this film, which I suspect is something they forgot to swap out when the packing was put together. I see now it's part of one of those "50 movie packs" - bummer, I could have gotten it for $11.99. I honestly wish I could see a restored version of this, since it really was an enjoyable horror film to watch and not nearly as schlocky and cheap as I had expected.

You can apparently watch the entire film here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcI4hWwPadc

*** out of *****

31 days of Halloween: Cube

2009-10-25T23:42:00.028-04:00

Cube is a 1997 Canadian horror film.

The film stars Nicole de Boer as Leaven, Nicky Guadagni as Holloway, David Hewlett as Worth, Andrew Miller as Kazan, Julian Richings as Alderson, Wayne Robson as Rennes and Maurice Dean Wint as Quentin. The movie is directed by Vincenzo Natali.

The film is, well, interesting and unique. The movie uses - perhaps - two or three sets total throughout the entire film. All of them are the same. Cubes. The story involves a group of people, all with memory loss, waking up and discovering themselves trapped in a complex of hundreds of cubes, with no idea what they're doing there or how to get out. Some rooms are safe, others booby-trapped.

The booby-trap rooms are full of shocking surprises - acid, razor wire, flames - you name it. Some are set off by movement, others - who knows.

I find a few problems with the movie, one being that we have absolutely no insight into why these people are part of this "experiment." While this may appear to be a pea for "spoon feeding," I would caution the reader that one must really care enough about the events that are going on within a film to allow themselves to forget about what the film isn't telling them. While an interesting character study, the problems I have with the film involve mostly the nature of why these people are there in the first place. It just isn't enough that it's a bureaucracy out of control, where people do things where the right hand doesn't talk to the left hand to such a degree that people could be drugged, had their memories erased, and then put into a situation where death is all but certain.

Perhaps it doesn't really matter, but without that crucial piece of information I find it hard to really connect to most of the characters. Perhaps the only failing - the only characters I could really connect to were Leaven and Worth - who were played by the two actors I was most familiar with (though I am also quite familiar with Wayne Robson from "The Red Green Show").

But hey, for a film that cost somewhere around a quarter of a million dollars (American) isn't half bad!

*** out of *****

Paranormal Activity wins weekend

2009-10-25T18:15:00.001-04:00

Paranormal Activity, in it's 5th week released, has finally earned the top spot in the box office, beating newcomers Saw VI, The Vampire's Assistant and Astro Boy.

I'm also surprised to see that the film's average theater take is the highest of (at least) the top 15 films of the weekend. Not bad!

31 days of Halloween: The Midnight Meat Train

2009-10-24T18:57:00.012-04:00

The Midnight Meat Train is a 2008 horror film based off a short story by Clive Barker.

The film stars Bradley Cooper as Leon, Leslie Bibb as Maya, Brooke Shields as Susan and Vinnie Jones as Mahogany. The movie also features Roger Bart, Ted Raimi, Peter Jacobson, Barbara Eve Harris and Tony Curran.

Midnight Meat Train is a pretty disturbing film. Leon is a photographer who travels the city, and the subway, in the middle of the night trying to capture the "essence" of the city. Like all crazed artists, they're willing to sit and watch other people get harassed, assaulted, and as we later find, killed. Susan Hoff, one of those crazed artists convinces that Leon must venture out and get some "real" shots of the city. This starts a spiraling event in Leon's life which introduces him to the sadistic Mahogany, a butcher by day and night.

Leon suspects that Mahogany is killing people on the subway, and that a string of missing persons over the last century can be linked directly to him and whatever shady dealings that Mahogany is part of. What he eventually uncovers is enough to unravel his own life, and all who are around him as well.

I thought that the film was very moody, and unfolded quite well. In fact it's one of the better atmospheric films since, at least for me, The Ring. Leon's brush with the Meat Train begins to grow on him as the film progress, and he becomes more obsessed with what is going on. What I really liked about the acting was that Vinnie Jones finally plays someone quiet - breaking from the usual loud, obnoxious character he's usually associated with playing. The ending was wholly unexpected when I first started watching, but the feeling of dread as I progressed through the film made the eventual ending more and more obvious to me, though I hoped it wouldn't actually happen. Clive Barker is one screwed up individual.

You can catch this film on FearNet On Demand for free.

*** out of *****

Full season of Community and Parks and Recreation ordered

2009-10-24T16:16:00.001-04:00

While I'm *still* not sure about what I think about Parks and Recreation, I'm quite happy to hear that Community has been picked up for a full season. I think the series has a lot of potential in it. Let's hope it doesn't lose steam.

I'm also not sure why it took me 6 episodes to realize that one of the characters is played by Alison Brie, who plays "Trudy Campbell" on Mad Men.

31 days of Halloween: Pitch Black

2009-10-23T23:26:00.003-04:00

Pitch Black (later known as The Chronicles of Riddick: Pitch Black) is a 2000 science fiction/horror film. The film stars Vin Diesel and is directed by David Twohy.

The film starts with a crash. A serious crash. The transport ship carrying passengers and a dangerous prisioner, Richard B. Riddick (Diesel), is struck by a freak meteor storm "off the beaten path" on their way through space. By luck the ship navigates towards the nearest habitable planet, where it promptly crashes.

The film also stars Radha Mitchell as Carolyn Fry, Cole Hauser as William J. Johns, Keith David as Abu "Imam" al-Walid, Lewis Fitz-Gerald as Paris P. Ogilvie, Claudia Black as Sharon "Shazza" Montgomery, Rhiana Griffith as Jack, and John Moore as John "Zeke" Ezekiel.

Co-pilot Carolyn Fry (Mitchell) successfully saves as many of the passengers as possible, though she contemplates letting them die to save her and the pilot's lives. After the crash, the few survivors discover that Riddick has escaped.

The planet is hell (it's called Hades, which is fitting), with three suns that never seem to set lighting it. The other survivors include Muslim Imam (David) and his three assistants (aka fodder for the monsters), young Jack (Griffith), Paris P. Ogilvie (Fitz-Gerald), Zeke (Moore), Shazza (Black), and a bounty hunter named William J. Johns (Hauser). The survivors attempt to avoid Riddick while they fight to survive the heat. They discover an abandoned facility, abandoned almost two decades earlier. They they soon discover the ugly truth that darkness is coming, and so are the creatures of the night.

I loved the film's use of color to indicate the various "suns" that appeared above the sky, and the creatures (which I don't believe are ever named) are pretty freaky. While I wouldn't totally classify this as a "horror" film - as it's more a sci-fi adventure, the film is pretty creepy in it's own right if the mood is good.

The film was a minor hit, making 53 million dollars worldwide over a budget of 23 million. A sequel, Chronicles of Riddick, which I adore did not do as well, though there is at least one if not two more Riddick films in the works. Both Diesel and Twohy are set to return, and I can't be happier.

*** 1/2 out of *****

31 days of Halloween: Pit and the Pendulum

2009-10-22T23:14:00.020-04:00

Pit and the Pendulum is a 1961 horror film by the master, Edgar Allan Poe. The film was directed by Roger Corman (the guy behind all those schlocky films of the last 60 years), and based on a screenplay adapted by the ever fantastic Richard Matheson (who I talked about just a few days ago). The film stars Vincent Price, John Kerr, Barbara Steele, Luana Anders, Antony Carbone, and Patrick Westwood.

I was surprised by this. Corman's direction while solidly established in that era's horror genre "conventions" - color scheme, same film stock, similar but probably different castle sets. I am sure I've read the original Poe story, but to the life of me I can't really recall it. We were so inundated with "The Raven" year after year that that may actually have been the only Poe story I actually know! The film does a pretty decent job from a screenplay aspect of creating a moody, atmospheric work that builds slowly over an hour before the real fun starts.

Francis (Kerr) travels to Spain to meet his late sister's husband, Don Nicholas Medina (Price), who remains in a family home that once belonged to Medina's father - a notorious butcher during the Inquisition. Medina assues Francis that the death was an accident, but Francis suspects differently.

Not exactly memorable, but certainly watchable. A film to see Roger Corman directing at his best, and just see Vincent Price on screen.

*** out of *****

31 days of Halloween: The Haunting

2009-10-21T21:28:00.006-04:00

The Haunting is a 1963 horror film directed by Robert Wise.

The film stars Julie Harris, Claire Bloom, Richard Johnson and Russ Tamblyn. The film is cast perfectly.

This is seriously one of the creepiest films I have ever seen. The film, tame by today's standards is one of the best directed, composed, and shot horror films ever made. The film has no blood and is not a crazy special effects orgy. It's just chock full of suspense, atmosphere and tension.

The film's contrast is perfect. The angles are disturbing and unsettling, the sound used in the film is simply... wonderful. The film is a masterpiece of "less is more." That may be a major failing of today's generation, who expect their horror to be violent, brutal, full of stupid people and cell phones that don't work when you really need them to.

The characters Eleanor (Julie Harris), Theodora (Claire Bloom), and Luke Sanderson (Richard Johnson) join John Markway (Russ Tamblyn) a doctor to investigate the paranormal. They travel to Hill House, a place that Markway believes to be a perfect place to conduct his experiment. Eleanor soon realizes she gets more than she bargained for, after the house appears to take interest in her.

The remake is okay in its own right, but it doesn't hold a candle to this movie. Probably proof that even with all the technology and money Hollywood has, they're incapable of making a film like this as good as they used to.

**** out of *****

31 days of Halloween: I Am Legend

2009-10-20T23:46:00.004-04:00

I Am Legend is a book written by screenwriter and novelist Richard Matheson. Matheson penned some of the best Twilight Zone episodes including "Third from the Sun," "A World of Difference," "Nick of Time," "The Invaders," "Little Girl Lost," "Mute," "Death Ship," and "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet." He also wrote the book, "What Dreams May Come," which was later made as the 1998 Robin Williams film.

I Am Legend is a film that has been made no less than three times. The first was Last Man on Earth, staring Vincent Price – fighting Vampires. Price plays the Robert Neville character, called here Robert Morgan, a scientist. I'd have to say that this version is the closest to the original story, though some changes were made that still really perplex me (title and main character's name). The infected humans are more like walking zombies (though they can speak relatively well).

The second film adaptation of this work was "The Omega Man" with Charlton Heston taking the reigns as Robert Neville, a military scientist. This time around the "monsters" are more like cultish albinos (with the black 'monsters' donning white Afros). The film suffers from what I like to call "The 70s." I didn't really buy that the affected humans found it so difficult to capture Neville in this film, considering some of the events that occur later in the film. The infected humans are better done in this film and a lot closer to the intelligence of the original story's creatures.

The third version is the most recent, film, donning the book's title, I Am Legend. This time Will Smith takes on the role as the protagonist (or antagonist depending on how you look at things). I liked the atmosphere of the film, and the story is done successfully throughout most of the film. The problem I have with the movie is that the audience is not shown any real potential intelligence from the creatures. Outside a few instances of brief "human comprehension" - they're treated like animals. The ending is butchered far more than either of the two previous versions endings. They filmed an ending that was relatively close to the end of the original film - with elements of Nevile realizing the reality of his being, but because the audience isn't shown anything but the animalistic nature of the "Darkseekers" - the ending just didn't make enough sense to test auidences, so they changed it. I find it somewhat ironic that the only one of the three movies that used the original title completely missed the meaning and intent of the story with the changed ending.

Maybe they'll get it right some day.

31 days of Halloween: Invasion of the Bee Girls

2009-10-19T22:31:00.014-04:00

Not a lot can be said about Invasion of the Bee Girls, a 1973 exploitative "horror" film, at least not a lot that's good. Surprisingly, from the mess this film is, it is entirely enjoyable in the "it's so bad, it's good" way. Like a person who can't look away from an accident. This isn't like Schadenfreude (I'd watch something really bad like that horrible comedy "100 Girls" for that). Invasion is a wonderful B-movie which highlights just about every facet of what a mid-70s B-movie was.

The cinematography is horrible, the lighting is sub-standard, the direction is, well: directionless. The screenplay is obviously written as tongue-in-cheek camp, as there is no plausible way that Nicolas Meyer (Star Trek II, IV, VI) could have written something like this without chuckling all the way to the bank. That is, unless he was really desperate for money. So, with that in mind, it fits the bill for a 1970s exploitation grind-house flick.

The plot entails a town who is beginning to have mysterious deaths begin to pile up. The strange connection is that these deaths are sudden and are happening to people who are otherwise healthy - not to mention in the process of having sexual intercourse. Hilarious right? Yes, there are "Bee" girls - even including the "conversion" process to "Bee girl" that involves stinging the females, stripping, then plastering them with some sort of opaque liquid latex/plaster before covering them with none other than - Bees. I guess it's that easy. As an added bonus the women scientists really pull off the look... right.

** out of *****

31 days of Halloween: The Toybox

2009-10-18T22:01:00.001-04:00

The Toybox is a 2005 British horror film.

Let me just say. It's a film with too many ideas. Like a taking a nice steak dinner with a baked potato and a piece of cake for desert and blending it together. The narrative is confusing and simply not that enjoyable. The story really didn't seem to start until about the hour-point, and even then it was pretty useless. I just just can't review this film any further because I don't need a migraine at the moment.

Watch if you dare.

* out of *****

31 days of Halloween: Day of the Dead

2009-10-17T21:51:00.002-04:00

Let me get this out of the way right now. Day of the Dead, not the original 1985 film but the 2008 remake, is just a bad movie. Fresh off the heels of the 2005 horror remake of Dawn of the Dead, it attempts to pull in that same crowd that enjoyed that film.

Well, this ain't that film. While I got to say that the remake of Dawn of the Dead was better done on many aspects compared to the original film (though the ending is over the top), I have to say that the original Day of the Dead is leaps and bounds better than this film. And I don't particularly like the 1980s Day of the Dead that much as it is.

A town, in Colorado is closed off from the rest of the world when people begin to contract a flu like sickness. Well, little do they know (and obvious to us) the people who contract the flu begin to (surprise) die and become zombies.

This film is just silly, over the top, and absurd in its execution, acting, and at times directing/editing. Worse than that, the zombies don't make sense. It's one thing to have "fast zombies" but these zombies are not only fast, but completely defy gravity.

The films stars Mena Suvari and Nick Cannon with a small cameo from Ving Rhames, I guess to make the movie seem more "legitimate."

** out of *****

31 days of Halloween: Identity

2009-10-16T22:56:00.001-04:00

Identity is a 2003 horror film.

A movie I just picked up at a 4 for $20 deal from Blockbuster one day, I wasn't sure what to make of Identity. I hadn't heard anything about it, which can either be a bad thing or a blessing in disguise. After watching it, I was happy I had seen it.

The film stars a vast array of well known actors including John Cusack, Ray Liotta ,Amanda Peet, Alfred Molina, Clea DuVall, John C. McGinley, Jake Busey, Rebecca De Mornay, and Carmen Argenziano.

The film builds a unique, dark and dreary universe of characters, and sets up a great little "who done it" situation at a motel in the middle of nowhere. At times I am somewhat undecided about twists in films, and even more so when the twist is as huge as the one presented in this film. It's earth shattering.

In some ways the film is taken off in a new direction, one that makes sense and creates an entirely different dynamic. In other respects it might come off a little absurd, far beyond something logically expected in a film. This appears to be the major point of contention with many of the viewers. However, I think the end redeemed itself from any issues the "twist" injected into the film.

*** out of *****

New Stargate film by Emmerich?

2009-10-16T00:52:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm shocked. Well, okay, I'm not that shocked. I've read articles about how Emmerich and Dean Devlin have been trying to float a direct sequel to the Stargate film.

The problem was that the show is moderately popular, and that the films would have nothing to do with the continuity established in the film. That's a problem, and it seems to be the same problem the rumored "Bryan Singer Battlestar Galactica" film is having.

There's just no way that they could pull off what essentially is a reboot of the franchise while the series is still on the air. That would be like if they had released the Star Trek reboot back in 2002.

I've heard that they may fit this in between the first film and the start of the series, but unless it doesn't involve any of the characters or even Earth, there's no real point. Personally they should have just adapted 10,000 BC as a prequel (of course making it better) where the revolution against Ra occurs.

31 days of Halloween: The Descent

2009-10-15T21:22:00.031-04:00

The Descent is a 2005 British horror film directed by Neil Marshall.

Life has not been good to Sarah. On a trip back from a whitewater rafting trip, her husband and young daughter are killed in an auto accident. Sarah is in the hospital for weeks, and is traumatized. Juno, a friend of Sarah tries to get all their friends together to relax, unwind, and move on. Her plan is to hike a cave in the Appalachian mountains. All the plans have been set up, they're ready for their adventure.

They arrive to the cave, which doesn't quite look like the one in their itineraries, but they trek on down. They find some wondrous sights, and keep tunneling deeper and deeper. Soon they are trapped by an unfortunate cave-in (a scene that really freaked me out). After the other girls take another look and assess where they're at - they realize that Juno has taken them into an unexplored cave system. With no one knowing where they're at - they must go forward. But strange things are lurking in the dark. Are they just imagining the walls moving, or is something there?

I was lucky enough to see this film in the theaters (one of literally a handful that I know I've seen in the theaters) and boy - what a rush. The film on the big screen is not for the faint of heart. It is extremely claustrophobic and when the girls come across the residents of the cave, well. All Hell breaks loose.

What's interesting is that the film was not shot in a cave at all.

*** 1/2 out of *****