Comments on Motherhood Later...Than Sooner Blog - for those who became a mom at age 35+: At A Loss for Words

I appreciate your reply to people that the child y...

2008-09-09T17:10:00.000-07:00

I appreciate your reply to people that the child you're meant to have will come - I believe that to be true (although many times I check in with God - "are you SURE this ranting, raving, crazy person on my floor is MY child?!") - many of my friends miscarried before I became pregnant with baby #1 and it was horrible to learn about and even more horrible that I couldn't help them in any way - just being available as a friend and listening is a wonderful thing - I think sharing a good cry is also pretty healthy :-)

In these situations, each story is so personal. I ...

2008-09-08T07:38:00.000-07:00

In these situations, each story is so personal. I let people know that I'll be happy to listen if they want to talk, and that I'll be happy to share my story, in the hopes that maybe they can somehow draw on my experiences.

That being said, I think it can be very awkward to be put in the position of being someone else's "inspiration", especially under these circumstances. You made choices based on the situation that you were dealt and based on what you felt you could cope with. It's not like you set out to be an example or inspiration for others.

People often seem to expect individuals who have gone through something difficult to somehow step up and be some sort of role model. If people are willing to do so, that's one thing, but otherwise, it's nothing more than an unfair, unwanted burden.

My son is adopted, and we were the first couple in...

2008-07-25T18:42:00.000-07:00

My son is adopted, and we were the first couple in our social circle to go that route. We had friends who were fertility challenged, and were totally not in favor of adoption. Over time, as they got to know our son when he was a baby, they decided that adoption was viable for them. But, it was never due to our making statements to that effect or trying in any way to influence them. It wouldn't have mattered.

It is such a personal choice, and there is no one way to become a parent. And, there's no real words of encouragement when you see others going through a hard time, even though you know what it feels like.

People just have to endure and believe that parenthood is possible for them...though they may not know how or when they'll get there.

But, I do totally agree, that you get the child you're meant too, somehow. And, that's what counts the most.