jenX67

Mickey Mouse's Wilderness Period: The Generation X Childhood?

2009-07-13T08:33:00.004-05:00

by Guest Blogger Arch Longwill

The fact is, this guest post is appearing today because I owe Jen a favor. While I’m a sucker for any sort of analysis of the human condition -- be it baseball stats, personality inventories or Strauss and Howe’s sociological meisterwerk Generations – the tiny historian’s voice inside me cautions a step-back to put things in perspective and remember that we’re all people and we all share the planet, blah, blah, blah, and when you were born probably doesn’t mean all that much. But I owe Jen. She sacrificed to help me out in a writing pinch a few months ago, so how can I refuse an old friend calling in a chit?

Whatever!
I’m not sure what to make of all this generational stuff. It all seems so fluid...on a continuum rather than clearly marked generational lines. Worse, I never really felt like I belonged with Generation X. Born in 1966, I’m squarely within the Gen X boundary lines, but I never associated with many of the hallmarks of the generation as defined by the media. So, I’m probably not the best person to guest blog for Jen. When people talk about generations I usually just shrug and say, “Whatever.”

Boomer Wage Drones and Gen X in Iraq, Afghanistan
I had written a bunch of high-minded stuff. The first one was about how astoundingly productive Gen X workers are in spite of the slacker tag put on us by Boomer wage drones. The second was about what fantastic leaders Gen Xers have made in Iraq and Afghanistan, the annoying myth of the “Greatest Generation” and why an entire generation of people is lionized for their ability to follow orders unquestioningly. If you accept Strauss and Howe’s generational archetypes, then it’s obvious the best generational story to come out of World War II are the rambunctious renegades who famously lead those sheep – MacArthur, Eisenhower, Halsey, Nimitz, Patton. They were all from the same archetype as Gen X. In the end I didn’t think military history played well on mommy blogs and Jen has a fondness for the Greatests anyway.

Disney – Another Tragic Episode in the Sad Tale of Generation X
Then I remembered that a Boomer co-worker recently brought up the Disney universe wondered aloud about Mickey Mouse’s family situation. But the topic of Disney is yet another tragic episode in the sad tale of Generation X's childhood. It's well-documented that we were neglected by our parents. The Boomers had stay-home moms and the derivatively named Generation Y at least had daycare centers while we had only the keys around our necks as our guardians. Yes, we were neglected even by Disney. From the time I entered first grade to the time I entered college, there were exactly two new Disney animated movies - The Fox and the Hound and The Rescuers - neither of which featured a certain mouse. No, we had Jodie Foster and Paris Hilton's aunt as the face of Disney.

Boomers were steeped in Disneyana. There were, of course, all the classic movies but there were also the Mickey Mouse Club and Wonderful World of Disney shows on television and maybe even shorts shown before features in theatres which starred the squeaky rodent. And forget the comics. The scant comics rack we had was stocked with Archie and the DC and Marvel universes -- no topless mice on those pages. Gen Y experienced Mickey's reappearance in Mickey's Christmas Carol and the return of the blockbuster starting with Little Mermaid. And of course Mickey’s daily performances on the early incarnation of the Disney Channel not to mention widely available videos of his oeuvre. Being pre-cable and pre-video, we didn't have those.

Mickey Mouse and the Wilderness Period of 1960-85
I don't even know the mouse, let alone the details of his possibly sordid past or his sketchy family background. It is certainly an intriguing situation. No, my question has always been, where in the hell was Mickey during his wilderness period from, say 1960 to 1985? I'm not kidding, the whole time I grew up Mickey was very rarely seen and only then in a historical context. Was he killed in an industrial accident at the studio? Did Pegleg Pete or one of the Beagle Boys go too far and extinguish his tiny little life? I hate to think he was snuffed out in a fit of passionate rage by Donald or Minnie following an interspecies tryst with Clarabelle or Daisy. Either way, there's been a studio coverup.

Himalayas? Kathmandu?
I've often wondered if he had taken the path so many chose in the 60s and gone to the Himalayas on some spiritual quest only to be lured into the soporific stupor of the poppy. I sometimes imagine Goofy and Pluto tracking him down in some back alley Kathmandu opium den -- bursting in just moments before he succumbs to the demons chasing him in the form of bucket-toting brooms.

I suspect the answer is that Mickey truly was the avatar of Walt Disney and that he was frozen the whole time until modern technology found a way to somehow download Walt's brain into the little mouse. They don't call it suspended animation for no reason. So now he's still kickin' it everyday on House of Mouse or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse or whatever his show is called now.

Looney Tune Loyalty
To be honest, though, Mickey always annoyed the hell out of me. I'm not sure if it was Looney Tune loyalty or the voice or the confusion over the fact that he didn't wear a shirt and Donald didn't wear pants. I have always rooted for the Beagle Boys where Mickey was concerned.

mile markers

2009-07-11T05:48:00.005-05:00

Fly's in the buttermilk, shoo fly, shoo.

(photos by jen)

Remember when you were a kid and your dad piled you and your siblings in the car in the middle of a hot July summer for a 1,200 mile journey across country to Disneyland? You could not wait to get there and every mile felt like forever. Stuckey's made it bearable.

Then, just as everyone was hitting their stride and settling into the road trip, the unexplainable would occur. Your father would ease the car off the road - ours was a big, old Cadillac - and onto the gravel shoulder to see the roller coaster-exciting historic mile marker. Just what every kid wants to see on the way to Disneyland - a plaque in the middle of nowhere commemorating some battle or event not nearly as significant as a ride on the Matterhorn.

My mom and sisters always stayed in the air-conditioned car while my brother and I, feeling exceptionally sorry for our dad, piled out and pretended to act interested. To his credit, Billy actually was interested, and he's just enough older than me to remember every single solitary mile marker I found so torturous.

These photos of wigged mannequin heads perpetually staring out the window of Cee&Cee Wigs, located on NW 23rd Street in Oklahoma City, are just like all those historic mile markers. They represent just one of the countless times my kids and I have been in the car heading out to get an ice cream or go to the park when the unexplainable occurs. I ease the car off the road, and jump out and start taking pictures of something I find amusement-park exciting. It's like the cyclical nature of generational archetypes or that Carly Simon song, I know nothing stays the same, but if you're willing to play the game, it's coming around again.

I hope my kids discover the gifts I intend for them during all the unexplainable detours I take in the middle of skipping to their Lou. And, I hope I have the good sense to embrace with joy the mile marker where I get out of the car and ride an elephant with wings and big ears. Pretending is such hard work.

never surrender

2009-07-10T13:34:00.015-05:00

via Matthew Bingham

One thing I have observed during my nearly 20-year career in journalism and public relations is that in the face of egotistical, power-wielding leaders, members of my generation, Generation X (born between 1961-81), often responded with resignation and surrender. In the board room and at staff meetings, my peers were often silent, afraid to do what Copyblogger this week said was required of great leaders: the courage to be wrong. Instead, my peers kept their brilliant ideas and solutions to themselves, afraid of being ignored or shot down.

Shut Up. Put Up. March a Straight Line.
Some of these peers were women, but the large majority of them were men. It was painful to watch, but I suppose the sacrifice was required. Entering the workforce during re-engineerings and reductions in force, they all learned to shut up, put up and march a straight line. After all, most of them had wives and children at home. They were the sole or primary breadwinners, and sadly, I think I've witnessed a lot of Gen X heart attacks in the making during my career.

Will You Choose Things or Great Things?
I often wonder, now that our country is in such dire straits economically, how much better things might be had Generation X been given more opportunities to lead projects and implement their innovative ideas. I will never, as long as I live, understand the fragile mindset that seeks to dominate co-workers and subordinates in an effort to control whatever spotlight might shine on their contributions. Truly, people who do this are not leaders. In fact, they are negligent, hurting the very organizations they are called upon to serve. It's shocking, really, and I no longer have time to mess with them. I have a calling on my life to not just do things, but great things, and so do you.

Is Generation X Unfit to Lead? Some Think So.
So, when I read things like the following paragraph, I get really amped-out that my Generation is going to just take it. I hate to play the victim, because after all, I'm fat and happy in America, and I could be living in a box on a sidewalk in some third world country. Perspective is key. But, still, in this culture, in this country, my Generation is at risk of being completely steam-rolled. Consider this excerpt from a book about generations, which says Generation X is unfit to lead.

At an executive leadership level, most “silo-thinking” Xers will be hard-pressed to succeed when managing large departments or even teams of more than a dozen people. Only those who can look beyond their own inclinations will rise through the ranks, especially in large companies. And because Millennials are so good at big teams, you could see the younger generation leapfrogging into executive leadership positions with tribes of Generation X managers reporting to them.

A List
That's why for the rest of this blog's life, I'm going to name 5-10 people born between 1961-1981 EVERY MONTH to the unofficial-super-duper-ally-ooper list of Gen Xers making a difference in OKC, the USA, the Milky Way! If you have a suggestion for this list, email me at jenx67[at]cox[dot]net. THIS IS INTENDED TO BE FUN, so join in!

Are you there, Generation X? It's me, God, and I think you rock.

gen x mum: housewife superstars, stepford wives, doormats

2009-07-09T14:20:00.003-05:00

by Guest Blogger Le, Australia
Blog: Third on the Right

Ok, now I'm not sure about you, but as a genX mum / mom (from now in I'm going with mum - Aussie Aussie Aussie - Oi Oi Oi), who mixes work and motherhood to varying degrees, I am slightly skeptical about the late 20 something mums who are coming out of the filing cabinet and renouncing life as we know it, while shouting an 1950's manifesto; reverting in whole to a retro 50's dream. Firstly you, and I were not there in the 50's so are we really sure it was that cushy and that much fun for the Mrs Average? Is being the 'little mrs', with dinner on the table and a martini in hand, with a oh so cute apron over the twin set really the joy of joys these young mums want to return to?

via rachel.mcnary

I just don't get it. What I do get is wanting time with your family, wanting a secure financial situation, wanting to instill a sense of well being and love into your children and maintaining a passion for your partner. If we believe this 60 Minutes story then these young lassies think all of this, and more can be found at the end of the domestic rainbow. Now I understand we are not superwomen and the myth of 'having it all' has been dispelled some years ago. I for one don't want it all, just my wee bit of it.

And I could have loved the retro apron scene and the home baking (if it had looked like home baking ...) but this exchange did me in ...

Reporter: So, when you say Frankie (husband) gives you the housekeeping every week how does that work?

27 year old wife and mother: Oh, Frankie just gives me a certain amount of money.

Reporter: So does he decide how much you get, or do you decide together?

27 year old wife and mother: No, I didn't have a choice in that.

RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG. Oh dear. Deary, me. I'm sorry, but no say in how the money earnt is used, equals a position of subservience to me. Maybe it is only the housekeeping money, maybe husband and wife do decide how the rest of the spoils of work are used. Maybe, maybe not. But something here is on the nose, it reeks. A woman who has no control or input into her financial situation is a women who is setting herself up for heartache. It is, after all one of the warning signs of domestic unrest (the others, if you want to know include isolating from friends and family, intrusions like reading your mail or checking your call log, having your clothes chosen for you, or your food or ... and the list goes on).

Choice is our most useful ally, our best resource and our greatest defense when needed. So I am not going to give away the choices other women have made possible for me in exchange for a 50's timewarp of grand delusions. Why do you think we enjoy the freedoms of today ... because a bunch of women, and I bet a few good men, in the 50's and 60's and 70s made a choice to empower themselves. Now by evolution I can choose, with some discussion with significant others and pride and a sense of self, to be a stay at home mum, the primary care giver, a partime working woman, a work from home mum, the only income earner, a self employed owner operator, a small business owner, a volunteer and the list goes on. And yes, I have been all these things at one time or another.

So forgive me if I reserve my enthusiasm for this new tag of 'housewife superstar'. All I see is Stepford Wives and doormats in the making.

About Le
Gen X mother to two wee boys, wife and part time lover to a baby boomer ex-stay at home dad, self employed work from wherever, for whomever and when time permits friend to many, on again off again pain in the butt to some, part time work, part time domestic duties, occasional self indulgent streak ... willing 40 plus years life participant. At last count lived in 22 houses, from the tip of Queensland, Cape York to Tekapo NZ and now inhabiting the blogosphere. My home is where my boys and MIC are. My desire is to mother well, parent in a coordinated fashion, be a half decent life partner, show the boys the world and all it's endless possibilities. To love and be loved. Oh and I'd like to be lighter, brighter, smarter and funnier ... The aim is to laugh lots, cry less and add a momentary ray of sunshine to the day. Your day. Travel well.

5 clichés from the death of michael jackson

2009-07-08T18:16:00.005-05:00

wisdom via M.Dot

It's not easy to find special meaning in clichés, those tired-out phrases that long ago lost their ooomp and effect. Still, several have been running through my Generation X brain as I grasp the notion of aging icons; aging parents and a childhood far removed from my ever-graying crown. Oh, the world forgetting by the world forgot. Never before have these cliches seemed less like movable type.

Who’s Your Daddy?

Speculation swarms. Did Michael Jackson “father” his children? I have the answer and I don’t need a blood test. Yes, he did and here’s my evidence: his kids had a special name for him. It was Daddy.

Life is short.

Pretty much everyone is dying. Actually, we’re all dying. One of these days, I’m going to wake up and discover, assuming I’ve outlived them, that Madonna, Springsteen and the Eagles are all dead. Time is a wasting. I better get busy with my plan to change the world, or at a minimum, start enjoying it more. I’m not getting any younger, and excuse me, but neither are you. It’s time to start avoiding with great passion any and everyone getting in the way of God’s plan for your life. How to know His plan? I’ve come to believe for the most part that God’s will is most apparent at the intersection of willingness and opportunity.

Don’t Speak Ill of the Dead.

Kahil Gibran said it in The Prophet and I believe it is true: Like the mountain to the climber from the plain, people become more perfect in their absence from us. Michael Jackson has traveled the ultimate distance in the carriage of death. The journey has silenced (for the most part) the peanut galley of hecklers. Maybe we need a new cliché: Don’t speak ill of the living.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.

Michael Jackson waited way too long to take back control of his life, career and reputation, and sadly, on the eve of his revival he died. The last people that need to be in charge of how much you give back to the world are people who don’t love you or think you are wonderful; who don’t believe in you or are the first to think the worst of you. Listen up: make a plan. Execute it. You can do this. You can start over. You can start up. And, you can start again.

You don’t know how much you love someone until they are gone.

Tomorrow, on your way home from work stop by the post office and buy 10 stamps. Write out 10 note cards to those 10 people you’ve been meaning to tell 1) Thank you 2) I love you or 3) You made a difference. When you are done, break your neck by looking up their addresses and then drive to the post office and mail these 10 letters. This could change your life, my friend. Here is the note I’ve been meaning to mail:

The other day, after we met for coffee, when I went to leave, I looked back and I saw you standing by your little blue car. Your white hair was blowing in the wind and you blew me a kiss and waved to me goodbye. I thought of all the places we’ve lived and all the things we’ve been through. I thought about how much I’ve loved you these 41 years, and how no matter many years I have you, it will never be enough. And, I imagined what I might do differently if this was our last goodbye. Would I turn around and run to you and tell you, “Mom!!!!!!!!! I love you so much! Don’t go yet!"

Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changing ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life?* You have, mom, so I know I will be able to, also.

What clichés are ringing true for you this week?

*From the lyrics to Landslide

generation x paying it forward

2009-07-08T09:20:00.001-05:00

via tan genghui

by Guest Blogger, Malena Lott
Novelist and Brand Consultant, Oklahoma
Web site: Malena Lott
Twitter: @malenalott
Novels: The Stork Reality and Dating DaVinci

My grandparents met in a tiny café in western Oklahoma where my grandmother waitressed, serving up cups of joe and banana cream pie to the townsfolk. My grandma, then 15, hid her age from the handsome sailor who took one look at the beautiful young woman and told his Navy buddy, “That’s the gal I’m gonna marry one day.”

A World War II Ship Out To Sea
So began the courtship of the people who ended up meaning everything to how I was raised and who I would become. By the time my grandma fessed up to the twenty-one year old sailor that she would have to get her parent’s consent to marry because she wasn’t yet sixteen, he was already head over heels in love and had asked her to marry him in a letter he’d written on his bunk in the World War II ship out at sea.

Generations: How We Get To Where We Are
I’ve thought a lot about generations and how we get to where we are by looking back at where we’ve come from, even more so after reading Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers about why people are successful, or not. I’d always assumed that my own stitches to personal success were a result of the opportunities I’d been given, trumping any DNA attributes to success. I believe life coaches call them Life Changers, and for me, one unhappy one – the break-up of my parent’s marriage - was met soon after by a better one - my grandparent’s decision to seek guardianship over my two sisters and me when I was just four years old.

Now I realize my own history is more than the good fortune of great guardians. The flip side is a darker journey that gets just as much credit for how I live today. My fear of abandonment and anxiety over losing my grandparents and being thrown back into a sea of uncertainty fueled my Type-A tendencies, beginning as early as kindergarten. I didn’t want to rock the boat, for good reason. Perhaps my over-achieving personality came not just from wanting to please the people who gave me opportunities in life (of which there were several) but because of a deeper-seeded desire to be loved, protected and make my way in the world in case I had to.

It’s as if my reptilian brain, the part that knows flight-or-fight instinct, activated my toddler senses to learn quickly, study the horizon and adapt to get the most advantage out of a situation. I was going to know the answer before the teacher called on me, do the extra credit even though I didn’t need it, and read as many books as I could from the library because there were things I still didn’t know that I might need to know.

That Middle Generation
What’s missing, I’ve found, is just as important as what is there. For me, that middle generation, the coupling that brought me into the world, was a mystery I was often too terrified to figure out. Since my grandparents were paternal, it meant I did have contact with my father, though not often and not satisfying. He seemed to flit in and out of my life with the winds, and usually they coincided with events such as birthday parties and holidays, though his “new” family grew with each visit.

The story of my mother (and her absence) is even more complicated, and became the kindle for the most difficult novel I’ve ever written. As I’m editing it now, I’m reminded that one’s losses attribute to our lives as greatly as the wins and it’s how we deal with hardships that leads to how we embrace or allude success. If the novel is well received, then it will be especially ironic that my deepest pain could bring me, and others, such joy.

The Next Generation
When I had children of my own, my focus – to survive and thrive – shifted to that of the next generation, and what I could do to contribute to their livelihood. It was only while writing my bleed-on-the-page novel that I realized I’d been thinking all wrong. My children are not experiencing the same childhood that I did. They don’t think of me as I did my grandmother. Their expectations and fears are their own, not mine, and vice versa. While my own parenting style has resulted from my life experience, I must honor that they are, as of yet, unwounded souls basking in the riches of a functional family.

While it’s satisfying to know that my legacy will include stories that will live on, the measurement for success I care most about is that I have paid it forward with my children: you are safe, loved and encouraged to make your mark on the world in that special way that only you are able.

from a celebrity's death, a very american outburst

2009-07-07T20:15:00.000-05:00

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

Jenx67 has been mentioned in a news story about Michael Jackson (From a Celebrity's Death, A Very American Outburst) in ~~a kazillion~~ dozens of newspapers and news sites worldwide. The story was written by Ted Anthony, national writer, Associated Press, who interviewed me on Sunday. Here are just a few of the sites that carried the story:

Salon
Tennessean
ABC News
Kansas City Star
Las Vegas Sun
Philadelphia Inquirer
Huffington Post
MSNBC

I am so grateful for this exposure. And, what a great week to open my blog up to guests posts from Generation X bloggers. I have five posts in the hopper, two of which I will publish tomorrow. Thank you for supporting jenx67!

al sharpton's big nod to generation x

2009-07-07T13:35:00.003-05:00

Al Sharpton said the following about kids who embraced Michael Jackson's music: "Those kids grew up to be 40 years old and comfortable enough to elect a Black man president."

I love me some Gen X luv. I love me some Gen X recognition.

the way he made generation x feel - via trauma queen

2009-07-06T16:45:00.001-05:00

via last.fm

I wrote about this the other day, and evidence continues to build via my Google alerts. I don't think since the advent of blogging, more people have written about Generation X as have done so since the death of Michael Jackson. I largely credit this growing meme to national Associated Press writer Ted Anthony who quickly framed the losses of Jackson and Farrah Fawcett as losses for Generation X. Both were icons of the Gen X childhood.

Here are some of the latest posts about Generation X and Michael Jackson:

Trauma Queen, a younger Gen Xer, has written a tribute to Michael Jackson. I really enjoyed reading this because her interest in Michael Jackson's music extended far beyond Bad. I especially liked what she has to say about those Pepsi commercials and kids at her school moonwalking and breakdancing during lunch breaks. Sweet stuff.

Here is an excerpt:

"...And then…it happened. I was shocked, and felt a dire need to listen to some MJ songs…and the tears started rolling. The last time I cried at the news of a celebrity death was when Lady Di passed away (I was 16). No, I was never a die-hard MJ fan, I never bought his albums the day they came out…but the fond childhood memories came rushing back and it felt sooo bad! I wondered if I was being brainwashed by the media hype, but got calls from friends who felt the same way, and for the same nostlagic reasons. And that's when I realised how much MJ meant to children born in the 70's and 80's."

***

Es blog features a post, Defining My Generation in which she discusses how the loss of Jackson has made her think about Generation X. She doesn't think too much of the name. I understand her point, and I could add a few negative "Xs" to her list; however, as I mentioned in a previous post, I think we're seeing the end of a pejorative thanks in part to increasing group identification, and the names of generations following us: Generation Y and Generation Z.

Here is an excerpt:

"Generation X. This is the name given to my generation by someone from a previous generation speaking on our behalf. X as in the unknown quantity in a math equation. X as in the manner in which an illiterate person is asked to sign his name. X as in the last name adopted by Malcolm X to represent the unknown family name stolen from him by the institution of slavery. X is a tolerable substitute for something unknown, a place card holder which can be removed if the real value or quantity is ever discovered..."

molly murphy's: a metaphor for the generation x balancing act

2009-07-04T16:01:00.004-05:00

by Guest Blogger, Steve Lackmeyer
Reporter/Columnist: The Daily Oklahoman
Web sites: OKCCentral and http://www.okchistory.com/
Twitter: @stevelackmeyer

For my first 11 years of existence, I lived in Hicksville, New York, a hometown I shared with Billy Joel. The rest of my life I’ve been a proud Oklahoma City resident.

So are my Gen X memories those of a kid whose first neighborhood resembled the one in the show “The Wonder Years”? Or are my memories more in line with Jennifer?

That’s my first question as I wade into this Generation X discussion. The test, actually, is an easy one: where do my fondest memories reside? And yes, they reside right here.

Never Gave Up On OKC
Like Jennifer, I never gave up on Oklahoma City even when it was very tempted to do so. My family moved back to New York in 1989, but I stayed. During a brief summer back in New York that year, I couldn’t relate to it at all. I missed browsing art I couldn’t afford at the Festival of the Arts. I missed catching performances by Kenny Loggins, Crosby, Stills and Nash, Chicago and the Beach Boys at the Zoo Amphitheater (is it just my faulty memory or was there a time when the Beach Boys came every year?). I missed Sammy’s Pizza (and still do), Braum’s and Johnnie’s. I missed special evenings at Papa Dio’s.

Molly Murphy's House of Fine Repute
And I really missed Molly Murphy’s House of Fine Repute. Molly Murphy’s was one of those places that made Oklahoma City special and I’m bewildered as to why we can’t have it back. The crazy wait staff in their costumes, the building that followed no rules, the dancing, the tribute to “safe” debauchery – the entire operation served as a still family-friendly bit of rebellion against the idea that you couldn’t have fun in Oklahoma City.

Generation X - The Most Responsible Generation
As I’ve gotten older, I look back and realize that despite some bad early Gen X buzz (I worked four jobs in college and was never a slacker), we’re the most responsible and level-headed generation out there. Let’s face it – we’re sandwiched between very spoiled Baby Boomers used to having everything be about them and bewildered Millennials with a similar sense of self-grandeur who are about to discover they’re not guaranteed an easy street to wealth and happiness.

Am I rambling here? Stay with me – I’m actually paid to do this writing thing and I’m about to amaze at least myself by using Molly Murphy’s as a metaphor for the delicate balancing act being performed by our generation.

We miss Molly Murphy’s because it is truly a part of our generational DNA. A trip down Meridian Avenue was akin to showing we could have fun, get a bit wild, but still maintain our dignity. It was OK to dance to around a Jaguar converted into a salad bar and we knew Groucho’s insults weren’t really going to hurt that much. Molly Murphy’s represented our own small attempt at redefining who we were. We wanted to be more cosmopolitan, more sophisticated, and heck yeah, more fun.

And we knew we’d have to work at it to get things done. We did volunteer stints and shifted our “big city weekends” from West End to Bricktown as we saw opportunities to make our dreams come true.

We’re responsible. It’s said, I think correctly, that in response to the selfish and dysfunctional examples set by our Baby Boom parents that we’re much more focused on balancing work, family and community service.

Nobody Could Ever Question a Baby Boomer
We’re still responsibly rebellious. The Baby Boomers always had that notion that they were right no matter what, that their parents were idiots, and later that we were slackers for not following them in lockstep. Nobody could ever question a Baby Boomer – they just knew everything, and everything had to be about them. And forgive me for saying so, despite all that Woodstock propaganda, they had no problem selling out and leading us to the financial chaos we face today.

We’re not so eager to sell out. We’re seeking to have less clutter in our lives, we care what happens in our hometown, and we’re eager to challenge conventional wisdom even if it involves some discomfort. We're more likely to care about what's happening in Capitol Hill, Paseo, the Plaza District and Deep Deuce even if we happen to live at NW 164 and Pennsylvania.

Gen X Taking Their Rightful Place: Will Boomers Let Go?
And so it is that we are slowly but steadily trying to take our rightful place leading our community. For so long Baby Boomers were so self-absorbed that they were quite happy letting their parents – “The Greatest Generation” – continue to lead long past their expiration date. We saw this right here in Oklahoma City, where outdated ideas were implemented without pause when it came to razing downtown and starting the 1980s with a rebuilding plan drawn up when LBJ was still president.

The Baby Boomers eventually took over – a bit late – and because they were so far behind they were inspired to accomplish great things in 1990s. For Oklahoma City this meant MAPS, a revamped zoo, a rebuilt airport, and a modernized City Hall.

And Generation X has applauded these accomplishments, rightfully so. But with Generation X now ready to assume leadership, will the Baby Boomers let go? We know they won’t change their ways now.

So let them have their homogenized TGIFs and Chili’s – we’re ready to redefine our city, make our own plans a reality, and yes, dance around that crazy salad bar as “Oh What a Night ...” plays from our Ipods.

Steve Lackmeyer's focus is reporting on downtown development in Oklahoma City. He is also an author, having written "Bricktown," "OKC Second Time Around" and an upcoming book about the Skirvin Hotel. The last two were co-authored by long time friend and former co-worker Jack Money. Lackmeyer is married; a father of two boys, 4 and 7, and the owner of a crazy dog.

john mellencamp and the church of the nazarene

2009-07-04T06:08:00.001-05:00

via last.fm

Yesterday, I caught an interview (taped March 31, 2009) with John Cougar Mellencamp on National Public Radio in which he talks about how he was raised in the Church of the Nazarene. My brother shared this fact with me several years ago, but I had totally forgotten about it. The Nazarene church is the church of our childhoods. Several former and current Nazarenes follow this blog, so I wanted to post this.

It's interesting in a funny kind of way to realize that during the same years I was growing up in the Heartland attending rural Nazarene churches and listening to Jack and Diane, the very cute guy singing it had been a Nazarene kid just like me. I so would have had a crush on him at church camp. Life Goes On, a line frequently repeated in Jack and Diane, was the theme of my sophomore yearbook (1983).

In 1986, while attending college in the big city, Mellencamp's song Smalltown became an instant favorite, and this line still resonates with me:

Educated in a smalltown

Taught to fear Jesus in a smalltown...

When Terry Gross asked Mellencamp what it was like being raised in the Nazarene church he said with all sincerity that it was like "heaven," and he talked with great affection for his grandmother, the person responsible for taking him to church every Sunday.

i heard it through the grape vine: generation x nostalgia

2009-07-03T10:47:00.005-05:00

via LoneGunman

The Seattle Post Intelligencer reports that Hollywood's "high-concept ideas are coming from deep in the closet of Gen-X nostalgia." The writer includes a rundown of toys that have thus far been overlooked by studios including the California Raisins, Teddy Ruxpin and Pound Puppies.

What Generation X toys, books, cartoons and TV shows do you think Hollywood studios ought to give a nod? I'm thinking Lucky Charms, The Movie or Cap'n Crunch vs. King Vitamin. Ha!

the montréal massacre and the death of gen X hope

2009-07-02T13:30:00.007-05:00

guest blogger

Today, I'm kicking off a guest blog series that will feature some of my favorite Generation X bloggers. If you're interested in contributing a post to this series, please email me at jenx67[at]cox[dot]net. I'm interested in posts between 500-1,000 words with strong Gen X themes framed around pop culture, religion and memoirs, etc. Today's guest blogger is Naomi Munn.

Naomi is a Canadian writer now living in Michigan’s Great Lakes Bay Region. Born in the last gasp of the 60s and a survivor of the Jewish single-mother ghetto, Naomi balances the ambitious goal of finding the meaning of a spiritual life with raising a family. Devoted to Judaism, she often writes about the mystical life. She blogs at Writing for Life

photo via aaron escobar

We of Generation X may whine about the suburban canned spaghetti we were forced to consume as our mothers left us alone; latch-key children babysat by the blue light of the television and imprisoned by the four walls of our sub-middle class nightmare. But there are greater fears inside our souls than abandonment.

We can plead for understanding of our loneliness, our cynicism and our pragmatism in the wake of raising ourselves. But for some of us, the pain of being broken cost us more than our optimism. The burden of our lost hope led to rage.

On December 6, 1989, Marc Lépine strolled into the engineering school École Polytechnique in Montréal and separated the women from men. He then shot the women to death, left to right, screaming "You're women; you're going to be engineers. You're all a bunch of feminists. I hate feminists." Fourteen women died because of the twisted pain inside one member of Generation X.

Columbine was not the first tragedy where students killed out of pain – we started this fire ourselves.

Many of the parents of Generation X joined the Boomers as they burned their bras in the name of feminism. Our mothers protested, held “consciousness-raising” meetings and gave up Tupperware to instead store the sexual revolution. They left their husbands and moved their children to sprawling row-house ghettos. Women now living on the edge of society went to work for a living and left Generation X to fend for ourselves.

These mothers paid for their ideals, their feminism, with struggles for equal pay and equal rights; with long hours and little money and bitterness about the unfairness of our society. But the Generation X children they left behind paid for our equality with our lives.

Many of our generation were college students in 1989 – Canadians watched in horror as the CBC news broadcast live pictures of women who bled to death in chairs, slumped in the grey-walled cafeterias that were so similar to our own. We huddled in stairways and in groups fainting on the floor. We were the daughters of women who fought so hard to give us access to careers never thought possible. We were the young women who desperately wanted to become the source of our own wealth – to never depend on our absent fathers or our future husbands.

We never thought we’d have to die for our ambition.

Living in the shadow of the Montréal Massacre meant nightmares for Generation X north of America. While American young people were struggling with the possibility of war over oil, we struggled with war against ourselves. Marc Lépine was one of us – a broken child abandoned by his father, raised alone by his mother.

Growing up Generation X in Canada meant more than feeling alone; at that moment we began to feel afraid. Struggling for gender equality became a practical struggle for our ideals. It meant not complaining when a professor felt your breasts from behind, because at least you were alive, and studying for a career most women would not have attained 10 years before. It meant hiding in your dorm room at night and rushing from class to class in the daylight in the hope that our university wouldn’t be the next target. It wasn’t isolated, and we were terrified. We were women on the cusp of independent adulthood – but only if our society let us live.

While the violence ended and we went back to our studies, we did not forget those left behind. Stones mark the night that one of us turned on us all – monuments across Canada dot the landscape and remind us that the pain of isolation, the torment of making children grow up too soon can rend the soul into many fractured fragments.

And many of us still wonder about the steep price we paid for our mothers’ ideals.

generation X roundup: jackson, fawcett memoirs; top-earning actresses

2009-07-02T06:21:00.005-05:00

Since the death of Michael Jackson, I have never seen so many blog posts about Generation X. Ted Anthony, Associated Press was the first reporter to frame Jackson's death as a loss for Generation X and I believe this kick-started the meme, although Latchkey Man, The Gen X Files and I were all quick to publish blog posts about this. If you google Generation X + Michael Jackson or Farrah Fawcett (click the Google blog search button) you will get an idea of what I am talking about. Some of these memoirs are really worth reading. Here are a few I came across:

Gen X Bonds Over King of Pop Death From Australia's The West
RIFPMJ from the Lost Ogle
RIP Michael from Jason's Photo Blog
My First Record Was By Michael Jackson from Trapped in the 80s Mom
Ben from Modern Day Pioneers
Kids and Heroes from MissQOKC.
Fare Thee Well, Fair Lady from Dustbury (a Boomer, I like him!)
A Tribute to Michael From Another Gen Xer from The Confluence.
Farewell Michael from Cincinnati Blog.
How I'll Always Remember Michael from She Likes To Watch.

***

A Baby Boomer who calls himself The Occasional CEO has published a blog post in which he says Baby Boomers need to stop apologizing to Generations X and Y; work for 25 more years and never stop driving. He says they are "in control" and essentially, never giving it up. This guys is definitely annoyed.

***

Forbes magazine announces the top earning actresses in Hollywood and the top two spots are held by Generation X rivals Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston.

***

Finally, next week, I will feature some guest bloggers on this site. I think you will enjoy their Generation X posts! If you have a Generation X post you'd like to share, email me at jenx67[at]cox[dot]net.

never a dull moment

2009-06-30T21:30:00.007-05:00

Pictures of the little ones taken today at an Oklahoma City Spray Ground.

This morning, this little turkey said,

"Momma, I'll never run from your beautiful arms."

(I swear I don't make this stuff up.)

Several months ago, I took Sully to see my dad, who has Alzheimer's.

Sully covered his arms and hands with kisses and my father said this:

"You have a little lover on your hands."

Yes, I do, dad, and I so wish you were here to watch him play in the park.

This is the Super Bridgy. Tonight at the dinner table,

she waved her fork in the air at a fly and nearly proceeded to poke her eye out.

Ahhh, never a dull moment.

And, where is my oldest daughter?

Seriously, she's hiding from kisses and forks.

Conspiracy Theory and Salmon Dinner with a Spokane Indian

2009-06-30T07:15:00.000-05:00

Be it the rain or the wind

Or the moon up in the sky

The spin of the earth or the change of the tide

I don't know what brought us together

What strange forces of nature

Conspire to construct the present

From the past

--From Alan Jackson

In early June, Robert and I gathered with our friend, TR, for a most unexpected event: a salmon dinner with a Spokane Indian, Sulustu. He and his wife, Rhonda, travelled all the way from Washington state to spend some time with us. We'd met less than a year earlier via the Blogosphere.

Dinner was an amazing cultural adventure that paid homage to not only Sulustu's Native American roots, but Robert's as well. (My husband is half Achumawi or Pit River Indian.) We had boiled red potatoes and salmon laid out on wood and cooked on a grill. Afterward, we gathered on our porch and talked until midnight. I was too aware, with every second that passed, that we were seconds closer to telling our new friends goodbye. We parted with hope that we would see each other again someday.

I began following Sulustu's blog last summer. Ironically, through his blog, I connected with TR, an Oklahoma blogger, who lives one mile from my house. He has become my friend. Moreover, a rural Oklahoma blogger, Smalltown Girl, became engaged with this trio, and this has led to a meaningful connection among six people.

Sulustu, Robert and TR

All those many months ago, when I began following Sulustu's blog, there was no indication that the two of us, along with his wife Rhonda, shared a life experience so unusual that anyone who has walked such a road has instant intimacy with other fellow journeyers. TR and Smalltown Girl have not walked this specific road, but have such rare insight into the journey, this evolution can be viewed as nothing less than Divine Appointment. There have been so many other gifts along the way, including Robert connecting with a Native brother.

I think if we're open to it, God will conspire on our behalf. Every day, I see how He has ordered my steps. A few weeks ago, I read this on the blog, View Through the Fingers: "I always seem to run into the right person at the right time, but that seems to be a matter of paying attention."

I hope I'm paying attention.

winners!

2009-06-29T20:45:00.002-05:00

It looks like Big Bird will be paying a visit to Dude, Where Am I? and Starbucks will be paying a visit to But I Digress. They are the winners of the recent giveaway! Thanks, ya'll! More Gen X giveaways coming soon!

the daily oklahoman

2009-06-29T19:11:00.003-05:00

Today, The Daily Oklahoman, Oklahoma's largest newspaper, published an excerpt (page 11a) from my guest post about Generation X and Oklahoma City. The original post appeared last week on reporter Steve Lackmeyer's blog, OKC Central. The paper also generously included the URL, jenx67.com, in the story. I've tweeted this and I put it on Facebook, so if you're reading this for the third time, my apologies. It was just SO NEAT! I appreciate Kent Fischer for bringing this to my attention!

the jungle of life

2009-06-29T08:52:00.003-05:00

A story I wrote a year ago and published last week on this blog, Mary DuBueno, is featured today on the blog Jungle of Life. Lance is the author of Jungle of Life, and his blog is chock full of so much great stuff, it's easy to see why he has such a big following. I feel so grateful that he would see fit to publish this story, especially since we just became acquainted and all I have to offer in return is my gratitude. Thank you, Lance. This means so much.

missing michael jackson more than i missed him before

2009-06-27T11:13:00.005-05:00

Yesterday, as Generation X mourned the loss of a childhood icon, and while every radio station in Oklahoma City played Ben, Beat It or Billie Jean, I surprisingly had a different song going through my head. Randy VanWarmer’s You Left Me, Just When I Needed You Most.

But I miss you more than I missed you before
And now where I'll find comfort, God knows
'Cause you left me just when I needed you most...

Melanie Dewey, my BFF from high school can confirm it. I was the biggest Michael Jackson fan at Caney Valley High School in 1983, the year Billie Jean and Beat It became #1 hits two months apart. Jackson was plastered all over my locker. Nobody danced wilder and crazier than me when his songs were played at the Barnwarmer, Snowball and homecoming dances. I loved Michael Jackson.

Then, one day, I woke up and Michael Jackson’s weirdness reached a tipping point. I could hardly stand to look at him. He was not the same person whose pictures hung in my locker. I left him. I missed him. I never stopped waiting for the Michael Jackson I loved to reappear. I always thought he might, but it never happened. He died. And, although some have said he died a long time ago, that is just tragic literature. He did not die a long time ago. We left him a long time ago, in the moment he evolved and changed into something we did not like, and there is a big difference.

And, it goes without saying Michael Jackson left his Thriller fan base, also known as Generation X. And, now he is gone forever, and whether I cherish it or regret it, his music forever wallpapers the memories of my youth.

This is what we do. We change, and when we do, some people choose to leave us. And, this is what we do. People change and when they do, sometimes, we choose to leave them. And whether we were the one doing the leaving or the one being left, we still mourn. And, as the song says:

God knows.

Washington Post Reports Two Lost Icons: For Generation X, a really bad day.

2009-06-25T22:51:00.003-05:00

Thank you to Ted Anthony for his Washington Post story about Generation X and the the loss of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson as it relates to the larger picture of generational and life experiences. He echoed the sentiments expressed by the Gen X Files, Latchkey Man and me in posts earlier tonight:

"These people were on our lunchboxes," said Gary Giovannetti, 38, a manager at HBO who grew up on Long Island awash in Farrah and MJ iconography. "This," he said, "is the moment when Generation X realizes they're grown up."

It has been so interesting to see Generation X on Twitter and in the Blogosphere sharing in this sentiment tonight.

It was really something to read tweets from a local PR director about songs like Ben. Folks, I wanted to play Ben in my 8th grade piano recital instead of Bach. Connecting with someone who even knows Ben, who even remembers Ben, who understands the rats reference, man, it was a Gen X moment I'm savoring. There was another tweet from an Oklahoma City jeweler about Say, Say, Say by Jackson and McCartney. Remember that?

I don't just want some Comment Luv. I want some Gen X Luv. Kumbaya. Let us bond. =)

Generation X Loses Two Coming of Age Icons; Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson

2009-06-25T17:51:00.008-05:00

Image via Wikipedia

You and I must make a pact,

we must bring salvation back.

Where there is love, I'll be there.

--From Michael Jackson's I'll Be There

Growing up, my brother had the iconic poster of Farrah Fawcett in an orange bathing suit taped to the back of his bedroom door. In high school, Michael Jackson pictures adorned my high school locker. This would not be much of a Generation X blog if I did not acknowledge the passing of these Superstars.

And, I don't know about you, but I don't know how much older we (Gen X) can get before the rest of the world kind of starts recognizing the fact that we're not exactly young anymore. When you start losing your coming-of-age icons, well, it's a sign - I'm getting older, too.

I welcome your thoughts about their lives and untimely deaths.

RIP Farrah. RIP Michael.

bareback through the blogosphere

2009-06-24T17:49:00.009-05:00

I want to be the kind of person who immediately recognizes the brilliance in others.

I don’t want to wait for the herd.

I don’t want to follow someone or something only after it becomes a popular trend.

I want to recognize those amazing people mass culture has not yet discovered, so I can witness their evolution.

I want to be the kind of person who does not hide my face from someone else’s radiance because I fear their bright light might dwarf or diminish mine.

I don’t want to be frightened or intimidated by the talent in others.

I want to search for it, even when it isn't readily apparent. And, when I find it I want to call it out -- the intellect, the fearlessness, the genius.

I want to risk my reputation being kind.

I want to risk my reputation telling the truth.

I want to risk my pride, reaching out even if nobody reaches back.

I want to risk my days listening.

I want to make a difference when nobody is looking.

I want to be all that I have needed someone to be – all that you were, when nobody was looking.

I was more brilliant when you were shining your light on me.

The herd has nothing on you.

You left crowd wisdom in the smoke and group intelligence in the corner asking, “What just happened?”

While everyone else wanted to be in a tribe you rode bareback alone.

You confessed your agenda and asked for help.

You shared your best kept secrets and tricks of the trade.

You let others share in the decision making.

You gave all the credit away.

You shared the stage and made room for everyone’s ideas and differences.

You were counterintuitive.

You did not squander your affections on things that don’t matter.

You did not squander time, and you did not squander people.

You were generous.

You chose mercy over peace.

You said what needed to be said.

You dipped your cup in the well of understanding and you passed it around.

You are everyone who is walking toward me right now and no one who is walking away.

You did not wait for the herd, and neither will I.

What brilliant human being will we discover today?

some stories take courage to tell. this is one of them.

2009-06-23T12:45:00.004-05:00

Click the full screen icon in the lower righthand corner to enlarge ebook.

Mary DuBueno

View more Microsoft Word documents from jenagain.

The Quiet Revolution of Generation X

2009-06-23T03:43:00.003-05:00

There are a handful of people on the planet who consistently turn out fantastic blog posts specifically about Generation X. They are relatively few in number - six at least, 12 at most. (Talk about niche blogging.) Here are three posts from three of them

Joe Moody's post about the quiet revolution of Generation X -- the Internet. This is a fascinating little ride into Moody's experience as a newspaper journalist and how the morning coffee and newspaper has become the morning coffee and laptop.

Dave Sohigian posts about Generation X deserving a spot on Guy Kawasaki's Alltop; 7 myths about Generation X and a post about the Sarah Palin vs. David Letterman confrontation, No Jokes About My Kids.

Finally, Chris Curtin's post, A Documentary for Gen X -- Anvil: The Story of Anvil is what many Generation Xers I know really need to hear. LISTEN UP: "...We’ll only achieve our goals if we’re willing to participate (indeed, cherish) the struggle."

If you're reading this and thinking, "Hey! What about me! I wrote something great about Generation X, too!" (I've most likely already read it, but got sidetracked) send me an email with the link to jenx67[at]cox[dot]net or just leave a comment.