Ready, Reset, Go! (2006-2008)

Oh geez, he's at it again.

2009-02-10T16:07:00.010-05:00

Oh my god, this really is like crack, isn't it?

Yeah, ok, I'm starting it up again. Clean slate and all that.

What will happen? Haven't a fucking clue.

Anyways, here it is:

Keeping things Brief

And, presumably from the title, I'm aiming for briefness. Not about being in briefs. Probably.

(This also probably means I might be poking my head back into your necks of the woods again. You've been warned.)

obligatory

2009-01-05T11:29:00.003-05:00

Um... yeah. So I guess I stopped posting here.

Don't know why, exactly. Just stopped and didn't bother telling anyone. I figure it's better that way then some GBCW ("good bye cruel world") post.

I also abruptly stopping READING all blogs (except maybe joemygod) as well. Don't know why I did that either. I just did.

Maybe I had my period or something.

Anyways, so that's why I don't even leave comments anywhere, either.

Heck, most of you get my stupid updates via facebook now anyways.

Hope y'all are doing well.

Evidently, I'm done here.

See, this way it all makes total sense.

2008-10-07T14:01:00.004-04:00

In a fit of nostalgia, I'll stumbled on this.

I can't say I really have fond memories of the 80s, but the song and the video are a memorable moment. Makes me remember one of the first guys I ever fell for hard.

Sigh...

Yeah, I hated the 80s. Almost as much as the 70s and, especially, the 90s. The 00's kinda suck too.

Anyways. Yeah. Memories.

But something isn't quite right about this video.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Yes, do us all a favor.

2008-10-06T16:53:00.004-04:00

The Blog: Went "private" because I wanted to just go offline for a while but didn't actually want to delete the blog. Still not sure what I'm doing here at the moment. Apologies to the few who asked me what was going on and then I didn't reply. Last week was taking my attention elsewhere.

Other stuff: I suppose I shouldn't laugh, but I have to. Call it gallows humor:

go talk uncharacteristically nicely to them

2008-09-29T15:51:00.003-04:00

The House voted against rescuing the economy - albeit with a crappy bill.

Interestingly, the Democrats produced more "aye" votes then they had promised.
The GOP, against a Bush and McCain pushed bill, couldn't muster the votes. That's leadership!

Their excuse? House Speaker Pelosi made a speech critiquing the policies which got us to this point.

So the GOP voted against a rescue.

Wow.

So, was making such a speech a mistake by Pelosi? I guess if she knew what a bunch of thin-skinned wimps she was talking to, then maybe so.

But I think Barney Frank (LOVE him!) put it best today:

"There's a terrible crisis affecting the American economy. We have come together to alleviate the crisis. And because somebody hurt their feelings, they decide to punish the country."

"Give me those 12 people's names [who were going to vote for the bill but then voted against it] and I will go talk uncharacteristically nicely to them and tell them what wonderful people they are and maybe they'll now think about the country."

The Ex-Beauty Queen Has Got a Gun

2008-09-26T12:07:00.002-04:00

I popped this up on Daily Kos as well...

I know this is just light fare in the face of the insanity we're all seeing.

But it's funny and damn pertinent... and I've taken the liberty of transcribing the lyrics below the fold.

Julie Brown just updated her song "Homecoming Queen Has Got a Gun".

The new one is: The Ex-Beauty Queen Has Got a Gun.
It's about our favorite Caribou Barbie!

She premiered it on the Stephanie Miller show yesterday.

Take a listen, it's worth it, IMO.

This is straight from the radio show.
Looks like you can buy the song from Julie Brown's site or from iTunes.

My attempt at the lyrics follows:

The Ex-Beauty Queen Has Got a Gun
By: Julie Brown

Lyrics:

It was election year in the USA.
John McCain chose Sarah to save the day.
We were real excited,
what a maverick choice!
her only flaw
was that annoying voice.

Sarah Palin (SP): "Oh Hi! I'm Sarah Pain!"

She looked so cool,
with glasses and a gun.
just like a nasty
librarian.
she brought her kids
for all of us to see.
They even licked each other on TV.

It's a little gross but totally adorable!

The crowd was cheering.
everyone was stoked.
It was like the whole convention
was totally coked!

(except for Joe Lieberman... douche!)

But when she talked,
I saw the country go to Hell.

And all of a sudden
somebody yelled:

"Look Out! The girl VP's got a gun!!"

Everybody run!
The ex-beauty queen's got a gun!
Everybody run!
The ex-beauty queen has got a gun!

"Is this really happening??
I don't believe it!!"

Sarah's smiling
and waving her gun,
sucking in Republicans
one-by-one!

Does the GOP stand for
gullible old party?
Can't they see
she's just Alaskan Barbie?

And poor pregnant Bristol!
I think I heard her shriek,
"Stop it Mom!
You're such a freak!
Why do you think
I have a bun in the oven?
Do you blame me for getting some
hockey player lovin'?"

Everybody run!
The girl VP's got a gun!
Everybody run!
The ex-beauty queen has got a gun!

Stop Sarah, I'm so afraid!
Don't turn back Roe versus Wade!

She always get's excited
when someone mentions drilling,
except the kind that gays do
then she's really chilling.

SP: "Sex is just for guys and gals
the Bible clearly states
if you would just pray harder
God would make you straight!"

Some guy: "I swear I'm gonna slap that lipstick OFF that pig!"

How could people think
she's the answer to their prayers?
She wants to pop a cap
in all the polar bears!
And what's with all this talk
of her shooting caribou?
How could McNoBrain pick her?
Is he sniffing glue?

Everybody run!
The girl VP's got a gun!
Everybody run!
The ex-beauty queen has got a gun!

You're not that hot, I hate to be rude.
OK you're better than Dick Cheney nude.

Last night I had a dream
that she became Commander-in-Chief!
McLame had choked to death
on a piece of un-chewed beef!

Then someone pissed her off.
was it Iraq or maybe Spain?
She said, "let's nuke 'em all
'cause all ferriners are the same!"

Then she started bombing
France and Mexico and China!

OH MY GOD
She's like Hitler with a vagina!

So then they started bombing back
and I crawled into the oval office
and I found Sarah under a desk...

(which is probably how she got the
nomination in the first place)

...and I whispered in her face

"Sarah, why'd you do it?"

She lifted her singed beehive
smiled and said,

"Oh gosh. I guess I did it for the children."

"The children?
The children?!?
What do you mean you did it for the children? There are no children!! You killed them all, they're dead!!! You didn't do it for the children!!!!!"

Then I woke up.

And I thought,

oh God! This is like that story, that Christmas Carol, where the ghost of Christmas future was going to amputate Tiny Tim's leg.

But we can still vote for Barack and Joe
and we'll all be saved!

YAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!

Unless we elect Barbie
and Grampy McSame!

OH GOD No!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Everybody run!
The girl VP's got a gun!

RUN!

Everybody run!
The ex-beauty queen has got a gun!

(gunshots)

Run, Polar Bears, Run!

(gunshots)

Go, Gay Guys!
Get those assless chaps into gear!!

(gunshots)

Run knocked-up teens,
you're running for two!!!

She's INSANE!

RUN FOR YOU'RE LIVES!!!!!

(gunshots)

SP: "Oh I think I got one."

SP: "Oh look, I winged a homo."

(gunshots)

(gunshots)

SP: "Ooh, this is fun!"

(gunshots)

SP: "I got that one in the butt!"

(gunshots)

SP: "Whoo! Ye-HAAA! WhooHooHooHOO!!"

(gunshots)

blank

2008-09-21T19:33:00.002-04:00

I know, I know.

Talk about being disengaged with everyone, huh?

Pretty sad, I know. What a waste.

I've just descended into nothingness.

I know.

I'm basically lost.

I don't know what to say any more.

I'm in a bad way.

Kinda. Sorta.

But I don't know why.

Not precisely, anyway.

Yeah...

I know.

I need happy pills.

Or stability.

One or the other.

I'd rather have stability.

I'm hurting.

Not to sound whiny... but...
Well, but there it is.

Whiny - annoying - insufferable - whatever you want to call me.

But it's the truth.

I keep wondering who will be there, who will be the guy that will give me the excuse to finally grab my life by the reins and run with it.

I really would like that guy around.

but until then...
or maybe instead of then...

Maybe...
Just maybe...

That guy is me.

Except I don't know how to be that guy.

Guess I should just learn, right?

Yeah.

I know.

There's also the no sex thing. That doesn't help.

Maybe that's why I'm so ready to bite peoples' heads off.

Or maybe I'm just angry that I'm 40 (ish) and this is my life.

Of nothingness. Of no purpose.

Kinda a waste.

Some guy in P-town, back last month, said, "hey I've totally seen you around Boston at the bars. You're always smiling, always so happy. You make people smile when you're smiling."

And all I could think was, "Who? Me? Do I smile?"

I smile when I'm out, especially with people I know. And I kinda mean it, too.

But that also explains why I'm "out" so little these days.

If I can't smile, I don't walk out the door.

Unfortunately that's most of the time these days.

And... unlike a year or two ago, where I was all calling the waaaaambulance about being all broke up and shit... well, now I don't know- not precisely - what the problem is.

It's a lot of things.

Or maybe one grand unifying thing.

But, fuck, even physics hasn't figured out the grand unifying thing yet. No worries that I can't do it, either, right?

Dunno.

I'm Tired of the Phoniness

2008-09-19T13:46:00.003-04:00

Spread it.

Here be the direct video link:
http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=4459225n

Here be the embed code:

<embed src='http://www.cbs.com/thunder/swf30can10cbsnews/rcpHolderCbs-3-4x3.swf' FlashVars='link=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Ecbsnews%2Ecom%2Fvideo%2Fwatch%2F%3Fid%3D4459225n&partner=cbssports&vert=News&autoPlayVid=false&releaseURL=http://release.theplatform.com/content.select?pid=TeaOzxpQydtyT3YEv6auyQW07cmbTNTW&name=cbsPlayer&allowScriptAccess=always&wmode=transparent&embedded=y&scale=noscale&rv=n&salign=tl' allowFullScreen='true' width='425' height='324' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' pluginspage='http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer'></embed>

That's called a staff meeting

2008-09-17T21:13:00.004-04:00

Spread it.

Here be the direct video link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7DpPGu1OSw

Here be the embed code:

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/k7DpPGu1OSw&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/k7DpPGu1OSw&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Full speech is at this link here.

Shared Responsibility

2008-09-17T07:41:00.006-04:00

I'm not sure why it's not clear. I'm in a period of blahs, unfocusedness, unclarity, and unsettledness (four non-existent words!)and the one thing I've learned is that me talking about it here is just viewed as whining. So I'd rather either put nothing up or at least something about which I care.

I care about this.

No doubt some will take offense at these posts. I'm not sure I care anymore. I've been too polite to some. To restricted in my public views. No doubt I'll express them, but this blog isn't the place - no one wants that from a personal blog.

Somewhere else, perhaps...

Anyways...

Shared Responsibility (2 minute ad airing in battleground states):

Spread it.

Here be the direct video link:
http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1185304443/bctid1799203760

Here be the embed code:

<embed src="http://services.brightcove.com/services/viewer/federated_f8/1185304443" bgcolor="#FFFFFF" flashVars="videoId=1799203760&playerId=1185304443&viewerSecureGatewayURL=https://console.brightcove.com/services/amfgateway&servicesURL=http://services.brightcove.com/services&cdnURL=http://admin.brightcove.com&domain=embed&autoStart=false&" base="http://admin.brightcove.com" name="flashObj" width="486" height="412" seamlesstabbing="false" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" swLiveConnect="true" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/shockwave/download/index.cgi?P1_Prod_Version=ShockwaveFlash"></embed>

Fundamentally wrong

2008-09-16T09:25:00.003-04:00

I bet you can tell I'm probably not going to be doing this blog for a whole lot longer. There's a bunch of dumb reasons for that - I'm unsettled and unfocused in certain areas - but (for those who are interested) I can get into that at another time.

For now, I'll just keep doing my tiny part...

Fundamentally wrong:

Spread it.

Here be the direct video link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6reQLzgywzk

Here be the embed code:

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/6reQLzgywzk&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/6reQLzgywzk&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Disgraceful, Dishonorable, Disaster

2008-09-15T09:30:00.003-04:00

Disgraceful, Dishonorable, Disaster

Spread it.

Here be the direct video link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK3Y1KPzW9k

Here be the embed code:

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/CK3Y1KPzW9k&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/CK3Y1KPzW9k&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Viral sneezes...

2008-09-13T08:55:00.007-04:00

O Ho Ho Ho!

You get the title?

Is double meaning because I also have head cold!

O Ho Ho Ho, is so funny!

Anyways, since I'm not doing anything else of use here these days...

A quickie: Is McCain for child predators?

Here be the direct video link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0kiLoMY1hg

Here be the embed code:

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/X0kiLoMY1hg&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/X0kiLoMY1hg&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

A 3 minute overview: Endless Lies?

Here be the direct video link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IH0xzsogzAk

Here be the embed code:

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/IH0xzsogzAk&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/IH0xzsogzAk&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

This is bad...

2008-09-08T15:47:00.004-04:00

Yup, these days I'm more prone to not saying or writing a word. Either that, or I'd let lose some floodgates and go on for pages. But I don't really feel like it and doubt it would be anything for me but a whine. So, frak it...

However... This... is... bad...

We are well and truly frakked if she comes to power.

Realize, the feelings are now high that she is connected via her church to something called Joel's Army, which is claimed by it's founders as:

an Armageddon-ready military force of young people with a divine mandate to physically impose Christian "dominion" on non-believers.

"An end-time army has one common purpose -- to aggressively take ground for the kingdom of God under the authority of Jesus Christ, the Dread Champion," [Joel's Army founder, Todd] Bentley declares on the website for his ministry school in British Columbia, Canada. "The trumpet is sounding, calling on-fire, revolutionary believers to enlist in Joel's Army. ... Many are now ready to be mobilized to establish and advance God's kingdom on earth."

Joel's Army followers, many of them teenagers and young adults who believe they're members of the final generation to come of age before the end of the world, are breaking away in droves from mainline Pentecostal churches. Numbering in the tens of thousands, they base their beliefs on an esoteric reading of the second chapter of the Old Testament Book of Joel, in which an avenging swarm of locusts attacks Israel. In their view, the locusts are a metaphor for Joel's Army.

(emphases mine)

Y'all vote for this, and that's what you're gonna get, I'll wager.

And I'll say this. Pretty much anyone who's eyes are reading my words will be early targets for their "physical" and "aggressive" imposition of the selectively decided laws of a small group of elites.

You know what bugs me the most - not what scares me, but just bugs me - these folks, I'll bet ya, have never really read much of the Bible. Just one-liners.

As someone who's read a chunk of the Hebrew Bible/Old Testament (no, not all - YOU try reading the whole dang thing!) and pretty much all of the New at one time or another, I feel it's safe to say they don't even know what the frak they're talking about.

Simplest case-in-point, one that always bugged me: anyone who thinks "speaking in tongues" in the book of Acts means making sounds of that no one can understand, appear as if they never actually read the book. It's a very simple concept, really: in the section of the book, the evangelizers spoke and, as the story goes, everyone else heard the words in their own native language.

It's really quite simple - it's like everyone got a Babel Fish.

But if they didn't know this, if they didn't read the book of Acts (it's, you know, kinda an important story in the New Testament), then I doubt they've read anything else, either.

But, I suppose that's a personal quibble.

Being killed by power mad thugs however, is not.

It's frakking serious.

She treats them with such care

2008-08-29T11:05:00.003-04:00

This is to make up for the ranty post just below.

Oh geez, this is a really funny scene.

OK, background: So there's this drag queen who is often in Provincetown - and I think I've also seen her in Boston.

And we can never tell if this person is doing a continuous act or if she is, in fact, truly f'd up (drugs, booze, who knows?).

I'm actually leaning towards a really inspired constantly performed act.

This took place at the Boatslip in Provincetown. The clip starts just after she actually took her "breasts" out of her dress and plopped them on the table. The breasts appeared to be potatoes stuffed inside stockings. After brushing them lovingly, she eventually flings them over her back. I don't know how much more there is to say. Just watch and decide for yourself.

Yes, I realize I am, myself, being judgemental.

2008-08-29T09:24:00.006-04:00

Hmmm... given some folks amazing ability to know everything that has happened to me in the last two months, while I have, in fact, written almost nothing about it, I really have to say something.

There are those out there who read some words and have long ago believed they understand who I am.

I'm going to so this for those few out there - to most others of you, this does not apply.

There are those who think they understand my life from what little they can find here.

They think they do.

But they do not. And they, in particular, can not.

They think they understand me because, when it comes to writing about personal life, I have granted a very small glimpse of myself - only from what I have allowed to be said here. Only what I have very deliberately chosen to say here, for my own reasons - all honest, but only one side of me.

And using that one-sided information, declaired, many times by me, to be clearly selective and somewhat skewed, there are those who come to their absolute judgment.

But this is highly flawed reasoning - that what one sees is all and what one does not see does not exist.

This holds some water in the physical realm, though even there it is not nearly so absolute as that.

In the human realm, however, an arena of such richness of emotion and intellect, the vastness and variety of it's forms of thought and experience so stunningly documented in millennia of poetry and music, history and science, diatribes and calls to purpose, love letters and suicide notes, psychologists' notebooks and tracts of religious devotion, and songs - songs about anything anyone anywhere has ever thought... well, to make such an assumption in this realm, that what little bit you see from a person is all there is to that person, and what you don't see does not exist, is very simply the height of arrogance.

And it is just this - the inability to entertain that there is likely much more to a person than what one, with their oh-so-limited exposure, has had shown to them - which is the very reason such people can not possibly understand the inner workings of myself - or indeed others.

---

OK, nuff said. I have a kind of funny video to post which will move this post down a notch, just to keep things un-serious.

last week in provincetown, pt 1

2008-08-27T12:52:00.012-04:00

To prove there have been times this summer that I have *not* been a sad sack, witness that I was in Provincetown for a full seven days last week. If, as I now believe, I hadn't eaten that bread with five molds right when I got home, I would have viewed the week as a generally fun one.

Unlike many other trips, I actually appear in some photographs. So, I thought I'd share...

My week in Provincetown began like this, with some friends, like usual these days...

(As an aside, over a year ago, being with anyone in in Provincetown was something completely not-normal for me. As, back then, I had few friends in Boston, I was mainly a loner in P-town. That can work well, by the way!)

That evening, totally unlike usual, this body essentially fell in my lap. While I was in our house, waiting to go out, some guys came in. He was one of them. He had an interest in me. Etc, etc... It was a mild shock for me but I guess, ultimately, I'm not a dummy.
In the end, I didn't need to go out that night. As one of my friends said, "out came in".

Next day at the Boatslip Tea dance.
Or, heck, it could have been any day at Boatslip Tea, they happen every single day, and they all started to look the same after a while.

Some of my friends acting perfectly normal and uncontroversial. And Me... no, my eyes weren't closed because I was already drunk or something... they just caught me with my eyes closed.

See!

SEE!! (Though I seem perplexed)

Another day at a friend's house... I've got this bizarre pose going on, though... ??
There were other group pictures for which I refused to pose.

See, I wasn't a sad sack all the time (I think?)

Though... again with the perplexed... ???
Or was I about to do some kind of monkey face?

More friends and acquaintances...

Hmm... I've suddenly noticed that all my T shirts are exactly the same style. I think I need to work on that.

Anyway, so there was a big boat dancing cruise...

Lots of people, dancing, drinks, and rooooollllling waves...

And Jebus! There's always one of these guys... ALWAYS.

A guy who's kinda well known in some gay circles... anyone know him?

Comment to me: "All these hot guys on this boat and you're taking pictures of the SUN?!?!"

Macmillan Wharf after leaving the boat cruise...

I got some more... later.

No comment required. Just thought I should say something.

2008-08-26T10:35:00.008-04:00

(Hmmm... UPDATE down below...)

Yeah... been a while.

And, in fact, I've been so out of it, I haven't checked any blog any where for weeks.

I was hoping to say that I was under the weather for a few weeks then went to Provincetown for a week and had a very fun time and I'm all good again, ready to chat.

And all that's true, except the last bit.

I'm back to crappy again - out of the blue after having a great time last week - and I'm sad. It's that simple. I've just been whacked by one weird ailment after another this summer. All kinda different, too. All tests (many) saying I am essentially quite healty. Wish I could believe it.

It has been brought to my attention that some over imbibing is leaving me open to this. I look back on last summer and remember I was working out three times a week - at home with no one pushing me - and basically no drinking during the week, quite intentionally. I seem to recall I had a better summer then, too.

Food for thought, I figure.

At the moment, I feel firmly trapped in my depressed phase. At times like this I know I will always be this way and will be trapped and alone with no friends and no loves and sad forever and ever and...

Yeah, it's not pretty, my brain.

It's also times like this a partner who could lift me out of this would have been great. But I think I've learned there's no one out there who could deal with me.

And for a couple of you who've tried to contact me (and thanks for that), well, you can see I don't respond. I just cower in a corner. Sometimes with an xbox, sometimes with a book, sometimes with a bottle.

That I am in this phase right now will surprise some who were with me last week. I was having - I believe - a great time, thinking I was finally getting back up to speed.

In fact, I wanted to upload a bunch of pictures from the week.

But, now... no.

Maybe I will later, if anyone's around to look.

But for now, I'm tired.

With a few exceptions it hasn't been a great summer.

----
UPDATE: Hmmm... could eating bread that turned out to have three different layers of mold, white, green, and blueish colored, result in being violently ill around 4 hours later? Because I think that's might be what actually happened.

So, I came home from Ptown, had a quick sandwich, swallowed a bit of it, but it tasted really, really freaky. Four hours later, I was horribly, nasty sick. Two days after that (today), I look at the bread and the slices all around the ones I ate are absolutely covered with thick layers of ick.

What does anyone think? Possible? It'd make me feel better that at least there was a reason for this particular

Sitemeter takes down the internet. Doesn't care.

2008-08-02T08:38:00.005-04:00

LOL!!! Boy did Sitemeter fuck up royally.

By the way, I know I haven't been posting.
Not sure who's even around any more :(

But I saw this fiasco brewing this morning and felt like noting it.

For one thing, it may be affecting YOUR blog, if you have one. So you might want to know about it.

Sitemeter, one of the two most common web traffic counters in the world, recently made some change in their site traffic tracking code. And the result is a disaster...

From one blog that noted and tracked the issue as of Friday:

SiteMeter is bringing down every site where its counter code is loaded when the visiting browser is Internet Explorer versions 6.0 and 7.0. The error may also affect Internet Explorer 5.5.
Tens of thousands of publishers use sitemeter to track their content, including thousands of bloggers. The result: sitemeter takes down the internet? not quite.. but its pretty amazing.

And it is killing every major blog and top website out there - including sitemeter's own site!

But this is the funnier part (from the same blog I just quoted):

Status Updates

Update @ 9:00pm EDT: No Change.
Update @ 9:30pm EDT: No Change.
Update @ 10:00pm EDT: No Change.
Update @ 10:30pm EDT: No Change.
Update @ 11:00pm EDT: No Change.
Update @ 11:30pm EDT: No Change.
Update @ 12:00am EDT: No Change.
(sleeping…)
Update @ 7:00am EDT: No Change. (And even we were surprised by this…)
Update @ 8:00am EDT: No Change.

I had both sitemeter and Statcounter on my site and, yes, it was crashing too. And, yeah, removing the sitemeter code from the page fixes it just fine. If you have Sitemeter on your site, remove code that is bracketed by sitemeter tags:

...
fucked up code
...

As a replacement, you can sign up with Statcounter instead and set the counter to start at whatever your current numbers are.

Anyway, they're making it far, far worse by (as of 8:40am the day after the fuckup) not fixing the fuckup and not even talking about it.

At all.

Anywhere.

Imagine being responsible for nearly every major site in the world going down on 50% of the world's computers and not saying boo for a day.

I figure sitemeter is a hobby and not a company of any sort.

Never was clear how these things made money, anyway.

Anyways, just thought it was funny how internet businesses work.

Or don't.

My brain is bricked.

2008-07-28T08:41:00.005-04:00

Any suggestions?

(Def: bricked)

(Apologies to Xbox owners for the terror-pic.
Being a new Xbox owner myself, I sympathize with the fear of red.)

web of trust

2008-07-25T12:46:00.008-04:00

I thought this a fitting time to revisit something I put up last year. In it, I mentioned that I'd had the good fortune to actually meet quite a few bloggers out there, in person. Some of them, I've even become quite friendly with and will come visit from time to time.

In fact, just last weekend, two of them (Kalvin and JR) came to Provincetown when I decided to visit there myself. And I'm really happy that, by this unusual mode of meeting, I've actually met people about whom I never would have even known if this was 20 years ago.

I should have expected this, but many folks took the post to be some sort of "Hey-ay, I have a hella lotta friends! Whoo-hoo!"

But, no.

If you'll notice, I never mentioned why I was writing about it. I was being cautious.

Well, it's because of repeated events like what's just bubbled up at Joe.My.God:

Remember Cooper [atari's ed: NOT Cooper Lowenthal, btw]? The firefighter gay dad of two adopted boys who pulled his widely-loved blog after an "attack" of malicious comments and emails from the readers of this blog? Causing me to get extremely bent of out shape and offer Cooper a heartfelt (really) public apology? Over the last few days our little blogosphere has retched forth some unpleasant, uncomfortable revelations about Cooper.

The short version:
He is not a firefighter.
He is not an adoptive father.
He is not gay.
He is not, in fact, a he.

Read more there. Then read about it from the original figure-it-out-er, Father Tony.

Well, I'd personally been through at least three versions of this type of thing in the past 2.5 years. Some were bloggers, others only by email, but the bottom line was people not being who they said they were.

So startling were the first times, due to my stunning naivete, that I have since then never fully trusted the existence of anyone until I'd at least met them.

And it occurred to me that I had read something previously which addressed this issue very clearly.

I actually got the idea from a recent scifi book that takes place only 20 or so years from now. The world is different than now, but much is inherently similar to the internet and chats, IMs, etc...

This comment happens when a group of known net "chatters" get suspicious about a new anonymous chatter that gives completely unconfirmed identity.

Tommie shook his head. "You could be almost anything. You could be
a committee. When you want to sound like a lit-lover, we get chat
from a member who knows about poetry." Tommie tilted back his chair.
"There's an old saying: the beginning of trust has to be an in-person
contact . I don't see any usable chain of trust in your biography."

-Vernor Vinge, "Rainbows End", paperback p.133

Chain of Trust. It's real simple, but solid.

You vouch for someone who vouches for another person who vouches for another, etc etc.

The further away from a person for which you personally can vouch, the less certain you are they are legit. A person completely separate from the chain is inherently a risk for trust.

And, in reality, it's not a chain - it's a web.

(BTW, this is going to become very important in the business world and beyond, I'll bet.)

Back then, I first came up with a list of the bloggers that I had actually met in person up until September 2007 - I need to dig out the list and update it sometime soon.

Then, purely as an inquiry because I was kinda fascinated by webs, I suppose, I asked some other if they didn't mind sharing a list of bloggers they've actually met in person as well. I also said I'd keep it anonymous if desired.

I didn't pursue it long, but I'd gotten 7 others to respond and got this (with all names stripped out).

(Again, this is from 2007)

The eight light blue nodes are me and the seven other bloggers (all of whom I knew) who responded to me. The lines connect any of those nodes to individual bloggers whom they have met.

What I called it in my post last year was a "Web of Contact". Which is accurate, as I'm basing this initial form of trust on actual real-life contact.

But what it amounts to is a "Web of Trust".

I kinda feel it's going to come to this for any sense of security in bloggerville.

And when I say "security", I mean some sense that the person to whom you may be investing some emotional investment, the person whom you may be offering words or long emails or phone calls of comfort for some hard time they may have fallen upon, is in fact who they say they are. Or at least are having the problems they say they are.

Because people don't like wasting their emotions on phantoms.

Any other ideas out there?

inspiration?

2008-07-22T10:04:00.005-04:00

Y'all can see my posting has gotten non-existent.

Sorry.

One of those limbo-times again, I think. Nothing bad at all. Just... unclear.

I have a practical question for any and all. The question is at the end with a BOLD heading.

Anyone offering any advice would be really, really appreciated.

Sadly, once again, it's not a "gay" question, so it might not interest anyone...

A little while back, a friend of mine mentioned that I should actually talk through my "concepts of science" thingies, as opposed to writing.

Why I want to do it is simple. It's frustrating to see that most of the country doesn't even understand how science works - not the details, the crazy words, the convoluted concepts... just the basic approach.

That's sad, because many of you out there are doing bits of scientific approaches yourself and you don't even know it.

And it's this approach that has made everything you and I take for granted in this modern world possible. And it is most likely responsible for many of us being alive.

And, most importantly, the basic concept of how science is done is really very, very simple.

Doing it a lot and doing it well can sometimes be harder.

The details of a particular exploration may be quite bizarre and hard for most of us to even get a tiny grasp.

But understanding the basic approach...easy.

Unfortunately, at this point, I think it's the only way I can get these thoughts out of my head.

That is, I seem to have lost a lot of motivation to write... anything, really.

And unlike maybe a quick catty commentary on some gay gossip du jour (which I obviously don't do much, unfortunately), writing some sort of meditation on a concept gets very little reinforcement by others out there - no, questions that arise, no arguments, no corrections or commentary, no dialog.

And, as I have mentioned before, that's pretty much a death sentence for wanting to write again.

OTOH, if I was writing on demand, for a book or as a job, that would initially be a good stimulus to keep on trucking. If I had a deadline or real expectation that I will keep on writing, I'd get right on it. But it's just a thing on the side, right?

My friend's suggestion - to record my thoughts in voice rather than in writing - might be easier. These days, a lot of my thoughts on these topics are constantly being formed - as whole fracking essays, paragraphs and all - in my head. I just want to get it O-U-T in some form. I can edit or revise after that.

I have another issue to deal with, too.

Imagine this thought: If I suddenly die (knock wood that I won't) all my wonderful, amazing and clarifying words (sarcasm) will go with me.

And when I think of *that*, I realize how silly it all is. Of course, I tell myself, I have absolutely nothing useful to say. Your aspirations to help explain things to others is a complete joke.

And then I lose all motivation... like, Why bother?

On the other hand, if I at least start, I'll likely finish even if I'm not sure anyone will care. And then at least it's done, for good or for bad.

But even there, trying to talk into a microphone, I just am not STARTING, since it's not a normal behavior for me (voice recording).

It's kinda frustrating - maybe I just need a dedicated time where I'm just going to START.

Alternatively, perhaps recording an actual conversation - with other people - might be the only way to get this out of me.

I am really alone in this and haven't figured out the button to press yet.

SO, MY QUESTION: Do any of you have a few ideas of how to stimulate oneself for a non-work thing like this? I just want to make it happen...

one day, I'd even love to hone this into a craft from which I could actually make a tiny living - ie, science writing, etc. Perhaps some advice would give me a starting point.

Nathan's butt is not Horrible

2008-07-19T09:11:00.004-04:00

Go. Watch all three webisodes of "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog" - the complete saga!

It won't take that long, I promise.

It's totally worth it.

It's done by Joss Whedon.

The music is really good, I think.

Neil Patrick Harris is in it. No he's not gay in it. Yes, he has a very, very good singing voice.

Nathan Fillion is in it. He was in the sci-fi show, Firefly, which I never saw but I hear was great.

Actually, he's yet another example of how every gay man on Earth should be watching lots of sci-fi.

Case in point:
Nice ass! I approve.

That's from an actual Firefly episode, by the way.

Do you believe in Science Fiction now????

Oh, you want to see what something other than his ass looks like? OK, that works, too:

OK, ok, as for the confirmed gay dude, Neil, he's looking pretty good these days, too:

(All pictures from Superherofan.net. The fucking best site for men in TV/film.)

Anyways, go watch the musical while it's still free. It's great. No one's naked in it, sadly, but oh well.

comparatively greener on this side.

2008-07-13T23:25:00.008-04:00

Oh man, I thought I had a rough day on Sunday.

Short story, yes, I had fun Saturday night meeting TJ and his bf and his friend. We had dinner and then went out for drinks. But then my mind is muddled because I ended up - by the late evening feeling kinda not right. Fatigue is the right word, but it doesn't create the intensity. I was literally about to shut down. And no, it wasn't the booze or whatnot. I was actually fine on that score.

Perhaps it was TJ's personality. How can someone so sweet voiced imply such, um, fun? (More later...?)

No, in fact, this has happened before to me. It's been happening every few months or so since last August and it always happens out of the blue. I mention a similar time in this post. I still don't understand it, physically.

Anyways, I went back to my room and immediately fell asleep and slept for 5 hours during the day. I'm recovered somewhat quickly the next day. Unfortunately I had to now go for the work portion of the trip and that made me drag ass for the whole time.

Though I hardly had a bad day in comparison to my coworkers.

OMG. I can't find a goddam mention of this in the news, but I'm here to tell you that people around the country, including fellow workmates from east, west, north, and south in the US, were trapped in planes sitting in fields going nowhere for 3 hours, 4, 5.... No one could explain why.

I mean, fuck that. Let people fucking OUT so they can have a drink or something.

Outfuckingrageous.

See all those red dots? Those are all the major airports at 11pm Sunday night. The dots should be green. Red means horrific taxi-ing delays, including (so I'm hearing directly) people trapped in airplanes for over 4 hours and THEN they lifted off.

How much you wanna bet no one was given so much as a peanut? In some cases, they weren't even allowed to go to the fucking bathroom even though they were NOT flying yet. I would have peed on the seat in protest. Serves them right.

FUCK them. I mean seriously, fuck that bullshit. Who are these airlines to treat their paying customers like dogshit?

I dunno, it doesn't seem worth paying for a flight.

Why would I pay extra for a checked bag on such a flight.

Anyway, this confirms my newfound desire to never fly again.

It also teaches me that I didn't really have that bad a day on Sunday... in comparison.

just frakking BEAM me there!

2008-07-11T10:06:00.003-04:00

I'll be zipping through DC on Saturday night. Actually I'll be in the general area for a few days after that but not for fun.

I was hoping to meet a couple of blogger for the first time. Sadly, I won't be getting to meet Jimbo, as a pretty bad situation happened just a few days ago. I hope he's doing ok and hopefully we'll meet up some other time.

Without Jimbo, I wondered aloud to TJ whether it was "problematic that I'd suggested meeting for drinks where one of us doesn't drink and the other is a low-tolerance lush (me)."

TJ seemed to think it would be fine, if not, in fact, highly amusing - so there you go!

You know what though - I really wish I didn't have to fly *anywhere*. It just sounds utterly unpleasant and filled with angry commuters getting charged up the wazoo for every pound of baggage and - soon - for every pound they weigh.

Probably not a surprise that people are gonna "boo!" airlines for crappy service after all that? (Though it's not very wise, as that booing caused the crew to cancel the flight. Jebus!)

Hmmm... probably shouldn't talk like that when I'm about to travel, right?

In fact, just in case, I'll offer to any of the gay flight attendants that, should there be any booing going on, I'll be extra extra nice in private if you let us get where we're trying to go.

Deal? =D