tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37941892008-05-15T14:26:41.470-05:00danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.comBlogger1308125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3794189.post-37355415562234121872008-05-13T12:18:00.002-05:002008-05-13T14:50:38.258-05:00

I saw this retro-image online the other day and it brought back a deluge of intense personal memories, circa December 1978: I was three years old, and my very first recognizable feeling of INTENSE WANT came in the form of the Stretch Monster. I wanted it so bad that it was all I requested for Christmas. I asked my mom, I asked my Dad, I asked my grandparents, I asked the too-skinny Santa at

danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3794189.post-58355321795480575032008-05-12T20:13:00.001-05:002008-05-13T14:18:01.664-05:00

Just saw this on the Onion and thought I needed to post it, in light of my general dislike for smug, obnoxious parents: It's funny that joking about their inflated sense of moral superiority makes me meel morally superior. And so the cycle continues...

danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3794189.post-24136805205898109932008-05-09T13:57:00.003-05:002008-05-13T14:13:06.809-05:00

Gives new meaning to the phrase "crotch rocket". Just to provide a little related personal history, my most painful crotch damage ever came from a dodge ball during gym class and lasted for days. But it wasn't funny. Not at all. The funniest was probably teeter-totter related. I was maybe ten years old and at my friend Dorianne's house and I lost my balance at the zenith of our teetering and

danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3794189.post-66044054858775615652008-05-07T12:16:00.004-05:002008-05-07T12:43:08.863-05:00

I made this for my mom for Mother's Day because I try to steer clear of the syrupy sentimental stuff, but I gotta admit that I think I actually look pretty bad ass: Little does my mother know that the only reason I didn't totally go punk in senior high school was because I couldn't pull it off. In fact, my one attempt at a cool alternative-style hair-do ended up looking more pageboy than

danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3794189.post-82938233931578365112008-05-04T16:01:00.001-05:002008-05-04T16:01:01.640-05:00

Apparently "shadows" are a new artistic medium. I've seen some fairly impressive examples of shadow art in the last few months. People are using shadows to: Tell a Story Draw a Picture/Make a Social Statement Create Profiles/Animate the Inanimate But these folks are just barely cracking the surface of the possibilities. Let me create some shadow art that will literally blow your mind,

danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3794189.post-17946015232744983142008-05-02T23:54:00.000-05:002008-05-03T16:00:05.504-05:00

Some people might think that this is cruel, but I think it is perfectly acceptable: Who ever said only certain kinds of squirrels can fly? Speaking of critters, I watched this mouse run in circles for nearly twenty minutes the other day. I wasn't sure which one of us was more pitiful: the mouse, who couldn't figure out how to stop himself from turning right, or me, who watched him for twenty

danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3794189.post-60878516481362896892008-04-29T21:48:00.004-05:002008-04-29T21:56:50.452-05:00

Guess where I was all weekend? I took tons of pictures of all the monuments and museums that one is supposed to take pictures of, but for some reason this one is my favorite because it makes me laugh like a 12 year old every time:

danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3794189.post-9594614664094596292008-04-25T13:21:00.002-05:002008-04-25T13:24:41.310-05:00

The very first animated GIF I ever posted on planetdan depicted a girl falling down on a treadmill, so I'm proud that six years later I can return full circle to that old chestnut with a brand new extreme version of an old classic: Girl Falls on Treadmill v2.0

danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3794189.post-15724435821002339762008-04-25T13:19:00.001-05:002008-04-25T13:21:09.063-05:00

Normally I hate political cartoons, but this one was quite intriguing:

danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3794189.post-82958115921119637022008-04-25T12:09:00.000-05:002008-04-25T13:19:17.168-05:00

So even though I haven't received it yet (and I'm not even sure if I qualify, as a matter of fact), I have already spent my economic stimulus rebate five times over, so I guess that lame government tactic totally worked on a chump like me. My main purchase was an $850 VIP ticket to Lollapalooza, which I will be attending with my good buddy Dr. Erik. We're gonna bust all up in that place like

danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3794189.post-40253695702927338902008-04-24T23:04:00.000-05:002008-04-25T13:09:05.695-05:00

I saw this online the other day and laughed out loud. Poor girl didn't know she was going to be running for president someday... otherwise I'm sure she would have rethought that outfit. I'll try not to let it make me question her judgement, and I rest happy knowing that she probably has someone to dress her these days. I can't judge really, though, because if I ever run for president (of a

danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3794189.post-12513224896178861842008-04-24T23:00:00.000-05:002008-04-25T13:03:45.284-05:00

I didn't mean to be gone for so long. I was working OT trying to get a few dozen work projects under control. I guess my real life kinda overshadowed my preferred internet identity for a while, but look out because I'm coming back full force, like the super hero I am.

danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3794189.post-47656940494294074742008-04-15T22:28:00.002-05:002008-04-15T22:36:29.355-05:00

Am I wrong or did I just see Ricky from Better Off Dead in the audience on American Idol tonight? I'm not making a bad joke, I really do think that is the same actor... Here's a recent, absurd video of him from more recent times to aid in the comparison. Prove me wrong! And, yes, I watch American Idol. That David Archuleta is going to take it all, I tell you!

danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3794189.post-66563288131651509852008-04-14T22:20:00.000-05:002008-04-15T22:28:18.992-05:00

Graffiti artists are getting more clever every day, and I must say I much prefer the use of easily removable stickers as opposed to common ol' spray paint: I love it that people take the time to do shit like this. And I very much agree with the no Saget sentiment.

danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3794189.post-15606391473812530722008-04-11T15:57:00.002-05:002008-04-11T16:01:16.520-05:00

It's been raining here for a couple days, but I don't let nuthin' get me down! Still, I thought this Animated GIF would be the most appropriate to post: A Puddle Jumper's Lament Unrelated bonus GIF: Mad Skillz.

danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3794189.post-77703017900397324382008-04-10T21:45:00.007-05:002008-04-10T22:08:00.319-05:00

I Tivo Jeopardy! every day because it makes me feel smart. I watch it during lunch on fast forward, which makes me feel even smarter. The other day I was catching up on previously recorded episodes when Alex Trebek walked out on stage sporting a crazy moustache that looked as if it has been drawn on with a magic marker: Even stranger, the moustache disappeared halfway through the show. Nobody

danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3794189.post-85418421889179079622008-04-08T21:41:00.001-05:002008-04-11T16:03:21.717-05:00

These have all probably been featured on the Tonight Show at some point, but I re-present them in this format so that you can appreciate their humor without having to endure the humor blackhole that is Jay Leno:

danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3794189.post-31233265378087990862008-04-04T16:33:00.002-05:002008-04-04T16:34:26.098-05:00

Dang, dog, that's cold!

danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3794189.post-60456707724383903112008-04-04T11:25:00.000-05:002008-04-04T16:35:12.688-05:00

I'm sick of seeing that hairy-eared guy every time I pull up my site, so here is a page-pushing blog post to save the day AND our eyes: Which of these baby animals is the cutest? A. Elephant: B. Hippo: C. Rhino: There is a clear loser here. In fact, I hear this noise every time I look at that baby rhino pic. Man, is that thing ugly. It's so ugly its mama doesn't even love it. There's very

danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3794189.post-19473465739401831812008-04-03T17:15:00.004-05:002008-04-03T21:28:16.918-05:00

The other day I was at a dinner party when I noticed people's gazes kept drifting off toward my left ear. I'd be chatting innocently with another guest with proper eye contact when suddenly something near the side of my head would catch their attention and the distraction would cause the conversation to temporarily falter. I started to get nervous. Was there something on my face? Cheeto dust,

danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3794189.post-37333247498615103522008-04-03T17:11:00.002-05:002008-04-03T17:15:13.074-05:00

This one goes out to my friend J-Balls, who lately answers every question asked of her with an enthusiastic "Your mom!" Sometimes it doesn't even make sense in the context, but often times it can unexpectedly produce a real zinger. I've seen a lot of anti-mom stuff on the intarwebs lately. What gives?

danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3794189.post-14115596219715815002008-03-31T08:31:00.001-05:002008-03-30T18:03:51.045-05:00

You know that feeling where you're just sitting around on a Saturday afternoon and you think to yourself, "Wouldn't it be really fun to make a Sock Monkey right now?" No? Well neither do I, but upon completion of a related work project last week I received a gift of Rockford Red Heel socks from the client as a Thank You. They come packaged with instructions on how to make your very own Sock

danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3794189.post-67165270659990017002008-03-28T15:44:00.007-05:002008-03-28T16:07:01.984-05:00

Did you know you could also fall UP the stairs? Escalators are hard. And evil. Case in point, never turn your back on an escalator: And relentlessly cruel. Poor sisyphusian duckies:

danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3794189.post-82981040906886993762008-03-26T20:07:00.003-05:002008-03-26T20:12:47.818-05:00

I'm too swamped with work to think of anything new to post these last few days, so instead I will just repost one of my favorite videos ever, in case you missed it. If you're new to this video, it's a clip from my local news station as they interview a trailer park community after one of the mobile homes unexpectedly explodes. "Trailer all blowed up," has been a catchphrase in certain

danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3794189.post-87205530222316783032008-03-21T14:42:00.002-05:002008-03-21T14:46:44.832-05:00

Some people are head over heels for summer. Some people are head over heels for winter. But to be honest, that second link is one of the rare cases where an animated GIF just can't seem to recreate the moment with proper justice. For that you need the full video...

danhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01478337564003479640noreply@blogger.com