Siskoid's Blog of Geekery

Charlton Love

2008-10-10T08:00:00.000-03:00

There's something altogether bizarre about Charlton Comics, and I don't mean that in a good way. Take their view on love, for example. Charlton did have some romance comics, but that stuff leaked into their monster comics too:Oh yuck. And what about King Kong rip-off, Konga?
I don't even want to know why he imagines himself with giant exploding breasts in his dream.

And if you had both together?
No, no. Let's not even think about it. Lalala, I can't hear me. Let's change the subject. Maybe, uhm, sharks?
Aw damn, Charlton! Why would anyone do this?

I guess they got cocky once they managed to predict the line from one of the biggest romantic blockbusters of all time:
With Burt Reynolds on the role of Jack.

Remember, kids:
CHARLTON DOESN'T NEED YER STUPID MONEY!

Star Trek 672: The Crossing

2008-10-10T07:52:00.001-03:00

672. The Crossing

FORMULA: Bliss + By Any Other Name

WHY WE LIKE IT: Enterprise meets its first non-corporeal life forms.

WHY WE DON'T: It quickly turns into a possession story.

REVIEW: The Crossing (not to be confused with Desert Crossing - do these have to sound so similar?) starts out strong with a beautiful alien ship design swallowing Enterprise like Jonas' whale. Inside it live subspace "wisps" that appear benign at first, but turn out to be evil (well, desperate) body snatchers. It's too bad too, because the idea that when they enter your body, your own mind goes traveling is never really explored. Everyone has an out-of-body experience to relate, but so what? Nor is it clear why they need a ship if they can really go anywhere in time and space.

Though the first wisp we meet seems sensible enough, the "research into our own history" bit turns out to either be a lie or an objective not shared by others. In fact, the episode does a good enough job of giving each wisp its own personality and interests. Though it's stupid of them not to take over the Captain first, the crew still starts to fall quickly and discreetly. When Reed becomes a creepy sexual predator, the jig is up.

The catwalk makes a return appearance as the refuge of choice. Sensible, perhaps, but a bit of reusing sets for the sake of it. From then on, the crew takes the necessary risks to get out of the situation alive. T'Pol allows herself to be possessed so she can learn their plans. Phlox actually has some fight scenes (with possessed Hoshi and compromised Trip), and they're among the most effective in the series, flailing about though they may be. It's nice to see a non-combatant in some action. Though the episode ends a bit abruptly with, one supposes, plenty of asphyxiated crew members to resuscitate, there's still a time element that keeps the tension up as the doctor works on the ancestor of the anesthezine gas delivery system.

Now, Enterprise is good at delivering action and suspense, so the episode works. However, it's too bad that their first meeting with non-corporeals had to end in genocide. That's not a very Trek way to finish things. Enterprise was under attack, and the crew didn't have much of a choice. But the writers did. The episode could have been elevated by a more upbeat, peaceful ending, perhaps using the wisps that weren't going to get a "vessel". Using them only as monsters is too easy.

LESSON: Don't let strangers into your head or pants.

REWATCHABILITY - Medium: Well done, but doesn't play to Star Trek's values. Depressing when you consider it was written by the show's producers.

Shelving Spaces

2008-10-09T08:06:00.000-03:00

I have a huge space problem at my home when it comes to shelf space. I currently have 13 bookcases of varying sizes - 3 for DVDs, 1 for RPGs, 3 for science-fiction, 2 for mostly other books, and 4 for mostly comics/trades (supplemented by 4 milk crates and 19 long boxes) - and all of them are overflowing. I guess that's why absolutely nothing is in order. They used to be, before my last move... THREE YEARS AGO! Man, I suck.

I've decided to take a snapshot of that chaos before I remedy the situation (HA!), and well, always nice to discuss literary tastes on a public forum. Here then is my brown bookcase. Location: Living room. Contents: Mostly classic literature and religion. Number of shelves: 3.

Bottom shelf:A few well-perused anthologies from university, including that brownish one (a drama compilation with a makeshift cover), stand side by side with such largely unread essentials as Bullfinch's Mythology, James Joyce's Ulysses and Walt Whitman's Leaves of Grass. Classic genre fiction like Sherlock Holmes and Abbott's Flatland have to share a horizontal plane with newer stuff like the Best of Crank, an excellent anthology of alternative SF, and Alan Moore: Portrait of an Extraordinary Gentleman. Most precious is a book of Byron's poetry, a mentor's gift. Most likely to be OFFERED as gift: Borges' Labyrinths, since I have those stories in other formats. Plus, Catch-22, Vonnegut's Mother Night, a half-read copy of Voltaire's Bastards, an Outline of the Bible, the Making of 2001, a science book called Paradigms Lost, a flimsy art gallery booklet and a novel I picked up for 5$ and likely will never read.

Second shelf:
More Joyce, more Vonnegut, another science book (Hyperspace), but mostly, this is where my French-language books are hidden. There's my only Poe book as translated by Beaudelaire (Poe is generally acknowledged at being better in French). There's Dumas' Three Musketeers, some Ionesco, some Robbe-Grillet and a Dictionary of Symbols. Oddly, there are Monteigne essays and a Marie-Claire Blais novel translated into English. Perhaps even odder, the Life of Lewis Carrol and his Alice books are grouped together. Some plays, the best by Sam Sheppard, share the shelf with Swift, Nietzsche, Hesse and Cervantes. When I read The Creators by Daniel J. Boorstin, I thought it was a great way to learn about History. The Seekers is a follow-up I've yet to read. The Atlas of World History is nice too, its companion volume somewhere else entirely. I wish I had Burton's 1001 Nights, but the Penguin potpourri will have to do for now. Gravity's Rainbow is there because of a reference to it on the old John Larocquette Show, but it doesn't have a bite taken out of it (no? just me then). And the less said about that leather bound book on top, the better.

Top shelf:
Three themes really rule this shelf. The first is literary criticism, mostly delivered by Harold Bloom and Alberto Manguel, though Burgess also makes an appearance. Then, there's religion, with a couple of "Essential" books on oriental philosophy and faith. Finally, poetry: Two compilations of e.e. cummings' work, Blake's Songs of Innocence and Experience with the plates pictured, Kazantzakis' modern sequel to the Odyssey, Dante's Divine Comedy in the best translation for my money - Dorothy Sayers' - and a Gérald Leblanc book, the best of our Acadian poets. A few Molière plays stack up on top. Odd men out: Burroughs' Naked Lunch, some humor book called Apocalypse Wow, and Frank Zappa's autobiography. The key works, however, are those big Borges bricks.

Top of bookcase:
When space is at a premium, you need to use every possible surface. While knickknacks like voodoo totems are bound to appear, it's the books that matter. More English and World lit anthologies (I love that onion paper), more Essential books on religions, more Bloom, and more Boorstin and Burroughs. Goethe's Faust stands next to a book of Letterman's Top Tens, which in turn leans on Pulp Fiction's screenplay. A well-represented author in my collection, Julian Barnes, has a single book on this bookcase. Short stories by Harlan Ellison, a couple of French-Canadian books of poetry, an anthology of Greek drama... and a book on the I Ching trying to escape entirely!

In the final analysis, I think I'd like to keep the anthologies, collections and mostly literary bent of this bookcase. The dubious "humor books" are probably heading for a packing box.

Star Trek 671: Canamar

2008-10-09T08:03:00.001-03:00

671. Canamar

FORMULA: Detained + Gambit

WHY WE LIKE IT: The crew's competence.

WHY WE DON'T: The plot holes. The villains' incompetence.

REVIEW: The eponymous Canamar is a place we never reach, is never much discussed, and isn't finally dealt with. So while we haven't gotten very good titles since DS9, this one's among the worst. Even more so when you discover Canamar was indulgently named for a member of the production staff. In the episode, Archer and Trip are arrested and falsely accused of smuggling contraband and are now on a prison transport at least heading toward Canamar. Enterprise finds out, and it really looks like the situation could be over before it starts, with the authorities more than willing to free them. (So what WAS this contraband on Archer's shuttlepod? We never find out.)

And then our heroes get stuck in the middle of a prisoner escape. Archer, ever the trickster, gets in good with the criminals by acting the part of the smuggler. Everything he and Trip try doesn't automatically work, but the bad guys are at least easily manipulated. I wish Kuroda had been as smart as he claimed to be. It would have made Archer's achievements a little more worthy. But there's still plenty of physical danger, with the episode ending on a reasonably exciting fight set on a crashing ship.

Though Trip gets less of an active roll, he is once again in charge of the comedy portion of the show. He's stuck next to an annoying alien who talks his ears off. The thing about annoying characters: They're annoying for the viewer too. And there aren't many laughs to be gotten here. At least his make-up is interesting, which isn't something I can say about the Nausicaan heavy in the story. The more I see this "new look" Nausicaans, the more I hate them.

Though there are times when it feels like I'm watching Any Other Old Trek - including the first instance of a human figuring out alien controls without the benefit of a translator, and having an alien official standing around on the bridge - the final twist is worthy of Enterprise. As Kuroda's cohorts dock with the transport, we find out Reed and his men had already boarded and confiscated it. As for the quick epilogue, I fully appreciate Archer's outrage as he underlines the essential Enolian problem: How many innocent people DO they have languishing in prison? But coming in so late really sidesteps the issue. And it WAS the title, wasn't it?

LESSON: Star Trek episode titles are not a proper way to impress girls.

REWATCHABILITY - Low Medium: Though the action elements are enough to keep the viewer engaged, the episode feels like warmed up leftovers.

Fashion Nightmares: Marvel Universe 2

2008-10-08T08:15:00.000-03:00

As long as I'm resurrecting old series this week, howzabout I take a look in the old superhuman closet for What Not to Wear to a Crossover? yes, Fashion Nightmares returns, this time with our second look at Marvel's bad choices from way back in Marvel Universe Deluxe #2, January 1986 (Beast to Clea).

I've got to say, there are a couple of classic costumes in this issue, including Captain America's, Black Panther's and Beta Ray Bill's. These are pretty unimpeachable (yes, even Bill's). Of course, there are also some characters in rags, like Caliban and Callisto, and the odd Xavier's School uniform, but these have nothing to do with the character's judgment. No, a bad fashion choice is when you CHOOSE to dress like a giant chicken. Enter: Black Talon.Sure, sure, there's a definite voodoo feel coming from that look (like somebody just put needles in my little doll's eyes, actually), but that's not how you dress for voodoo. THIS is how you dress for voodoo:
Who's that voodoo sex machine to all the chicks? Brother Voodoo!

Sometimes, the whole thing makes you look like a fool:
Captain Ultra looks like he walked out of the Crayola factory this morning, but even in black and white (THANK YOU, Essential Defenders!), he's still got to explain the metal codpiece and turtleneck.

Black Tom is another character with grave problems.
He's an X-Men villain with the mutant power to shoot flames from a wooden staff (he's Irish, you see, how so very celtic). So why's he dressing like a vampire? That high, pointy collar. That stylized bat logo. Dracula's facial hair. And he's not helping matters with the stretch-fabric Vegas act shirt or the "hit me here" belt buckle.

Sometimes though, it's in how you accessorize:
The Black Crow has a perfectly serviceable American Native hero look (i.e. he dresses like he was never "civilized"), but he has to ruin it with a goggle-eyed helmet. Black Crow, not Black FLY. Another example:
Sebastian Shaw, the Hellfire Club's Black King, also dresses retro, and that would be fine except for the pretty pink bows in his muttonchops. It could be worse, of course. The have his female analogue, Selene the Black Queen, dress in S&M attire:
Proving once again that the Comics Code Authority was pure bollocks. And one last example of accessorizing gone bad:
Blacklash! Went a bit Buck Rogers on the gloves and boots, but really, it's the green plume that does it. Or undoes it. Why even dress in camo-black if you're going to advertise yourself to Iron Man from the ground that way?

The most mystifying fashion questions, however, have to do with people exchanging their perfectly good costumes for bad ones. Take the case of the Black Widow. Though slightly non-descript, her slinky black outfit is sexy in that Bond girl way.
I see nothing wrong with it whatsoever.

So why this new look?
The case could be made that this catsuit is even plainer (and gray, not black). Sure, she gains a spider-logo, but it's positioned sexually (as opposed to sexily). But most of all, it's that middle aged socialite's haircut, complete with dangling earrings, that ruins the Widow's look. More recent looks have, in fact, done away with it.
So it's without hesitation that I nominate the Natalia Romanova for Worst Makeover of the Week.

BONUS: KIRBY FASHIONS!

As I've been known to say before, Jack Kirby's cosmic fashions are damn near criticism-proof. They have a pure comic aesthetic that by and large read as good. But there are limits. If we look, for example, at Kirby Giants like the Celestials, why does Arishem the Judge "work", despite having a beer stein for a head?
But Ziran the Tester does not?
Short answer: Color. (Is that even Kirby's fault?) So make sure you match when you get dressed tomorrow. Everyone'll be watching.

Star Trek 670: Future Tense

2008-10-08T08:11:00.001-03:00

670. Future Tense

FORMULA: One Small Step + Cause and Effect + The Tholian Web + Doctor Who

WHY WE LIKE IT: The Tholians! Yessssssssssss!

WHY WE DON'T: Wasting time on time loops.

REVIEW: Of any of Enterprise's four seasons, the second can most readily be accused of Same Old Trek syndrome. And in a way, those bog standard stories make the Temporal Cold War stuff seem less out of place. Good for those 2 or 3 episodes, I guess. In Future Tense, a ship from Daniels' time, the 31st century, is found, and Enterprise must contend with time-active factions who wish to retrieve it. Along the way, a couple of temporal anomalies hit the crew, though at least we're in a time before the word "chroniton" was coined.

The mystery surrounding the ship is handled well enough. It's bigger on the inside like a TARDIS (an admitted homage), and its pilot is the result of generations of interspecies dating. Though the latter sparks some conversations, the former is underutilized beyond its initial shock value. Since it is damaged, it leaks radiation that spins people near it into repeating time loops, nothing we haven't seen before (very close to Cause and Effect, in fact), and in one case, amounting to a lot of padding. Archer and Reed working on a warhead only to see their work reset creates tension, but when the warhead is deployed and immediately defused, we realize the scene was only wasting our time (repeatedly).

The Suliban were expected, especially with a TCW-type title like Future Tense, though they do show off a new and bigger ship. Still modular and vaguely crystalline, I don't think I like it better than the cell ships. Much more interesting (almost guaranteed to make you squee with glee, I'd say) is the first appearance of the Tholians since their very first in TOS. They don't quite have their web yet, but they do have some kind of energy dampening weapon. They're voices are like radio squelches. We're teased with finally seeing them in person, but that'll have to wait a bit longer. We're not ready yet. What do I think about adding them as players to the Temporal Cold War? Well, they already have ties to interdimensionality, having been known to send ships to the Negative Zone or whatever. It's too early to evaluate their role in all this.

Being caught between the Suliban and the Tholians generates some sweet outer space action. Plenty of tension to go around as Enterprise tries to reach Vulcan reinforcements only to find them dead in space (good moment). Yes, it ends in something of a deus ex machina, but one the characters have to work for. Trip's activation of the time beacon is as much part of the action as the rest.

LESSON: You can't keep a good alien down for more than 35 years, tops.

REWATCHABILITY - High Medium: The addition of the Tholians alone makes it worth seeing this side story of the Temporal Cold War.

Dr. Strangelove: The Cold War as Sexual Tension

2008-10-07T08:15:00.000-03:00

Last week, I made the claim that Stanley Kubrick's Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb was one long sexual metaphor for the Cold War. While this occurred to me unbidden, I'm sure I'm not the first to say so. Still, with the most common discussions of the film taking the political route, with Fascism getting its legs back thanks to the Military Complex, etc., it may be worth exploring the idea on this blog. I've wanted to write more pieces on movies anyway.

One of the keys to the assertion that Strangelove develops an onscreen sexual relationship between two countries is the opening credits sequence. Right from the start, Kubrick is juxtaposing stock footage of a plane refueling, with its back and forth rocking motion and phallic fuel hose, with romantic music. At the very least, it looks and sounds like an education film on the birds and the bees. The same music will return at the film's climax, which we'll get to in due time.The other major component is the bizarre rantings of General Jack D. Ripper about the communists wanting our "bodily fluids". This very famous WTF Moment eventually gets explained. Ripper talks about how this mad idea came into his head - during the act of love. After losing his "essence" inside a woman, he returned to an impotent state. He resolved never to waste his precious fluids ever again, denying women his essence.
He has now applied this motivation to an illegal preemptive strike on the USSR. Ripper equates the concepts "World" and "Man" because both are 70% water. As communists want our fluids, their country is thematically linked to "Woman". The USA, by opposition, must be "Man", and as the images of phallic airplanes penetrating "Mother Russia" and dropping their "loads", it's looking like Uncle Sam is going to get some.

Men on the American side are basically separated into two types in the film. First, there are the military types who chomp on phallic cigars, are caught in compromising sexual situations, and desperately want to drop the bomb. They represent the sexual frustration that a Cold War must be to the military. Soldiers are built to fight, just as men are built to have sex (and women too, this is implied by the very concept of gender). Sometimes a cigar isn't just a cigar.
While Ripper's rampant (if restrained) sexuality is obvious, the same holds true of other military types. Our first contact with the ebullient General Buck Turgidson is through his secretary Miss Scott, the only female character in the film, in her bikini and rather familiarly talking with a Colonel like she's slept her way to the top.
(She also appears as a Playboy centerfold with a book on Foreign Affairs on her fanny.) Turgidson entire demeanor in the film is one of adolescent energy, talking to his girlfriend on the phone while in the war room and getting excited at both sex and bomb talk. Like the Cold War's hold on fighting, his tryst with Miss Scott must also be put on hold during the crisis, the release of sexual energies described as a "countdown".
Last, but not least, we have Major Kong aboard the bomber, which is the delivery system for the bomb, indelicately put, the penis of our story. Is it a coincidence that while setting the com system's prefix code to OPE, it lingers on letters that spell out GOD?
The military characters in Strangelove are universally potent and powerful. The bomber crew's survival kit contains some strange items: condoms, lipstick, nylon stockings. Items that recall transvestism, but as Kong puts it, we should equate the invasion of Russia as a sexual escapade:
Keep in mind that the mission's original target is at Laputa, i.e. "the Whore".

The other type of male character is the impotent one, exclusively played by Peter Sellers. All but Strangelove (which we'll get to later) are those who want to stop the bombs from falling, and so aren't just depicted as the "reason" to the military's "passion", but as weak and powerless. Closest to Jack D. Ripper (remember that Jack the Ripper's murders were commited on prostitutes) is the RAF officer, Captain Mandrake. The English have a reputation for sexual repression and stuffiness that makes him a natural voice for restraint and the prolonged holding off of sexual release. As a representative of the Impotence Principle, Mandrake is continually ineffective at stopping the bomb from dropping. Nothing he says makes a dent in Ripper's opinion, he has trouble convincing Guano (who thinks of him as a "prevert"), difficulty calling the President, etc. He's also presented as "inexperienced" with (phallic) weapons and physically lame:
Next is the stuffy-nosed (again, physically impaired) President who rejects any and all military points of view. In the President, we may find a reason for the sexual dry spell that has hold of the world. If he is Man and the Russian Prime Minister is Woman, as heads of each of their "political bodies", their communications can be interpreted as those of an old fighting couple. Throughout, the President is awkward and ineffective.
The only other Russian is the Ambassador, who despite boasting about his leader's virility, is also "female" in the language of the film, as intimated by this embrace with the truly virile Buck (a potent name).
More signs of Russia's femaleness: Its people are hungry for nylons and washing machines, and of course, the idea that the bombardiers would have to disguise themselves as women if stranded on Soviet ground. If dropping the bomb is akin to an orgasm, should the doomsday device be the emasculating threat of Woman's "multiple orgasm" (i.e. revealing of women's greater, and thus threatening, sexual potency)?

Now let me open some parentheses here about all a parallel symbol, i.e. what's with all the chewing gum? It appears frequently. The bomber's survival kits each has seven packs. Turgidson chews almost constantly. And Mandrake fiddles nervously with a stick, but never pops it in his mouth.
Gum, I believe, is a cigar substitute in the film. When characters cannot smoke (aboard a plane, in the War Room), they chew gum. In a sense, it is a delaying tactic for coitus, or perhaps a symbol of masturbation. Turgidson is without a doubt a cigar smoker like all the other generals, but his true climax is denied him both in terms of war and love (with Miss Scott still waiting for him in bed). For Mandrake, even masturbation is off-limits due to sexual repression.

Masturbation by an uncontrollable hand may also feature in the character of Dr. Srangelove. Here is a character of both described worlds. Like Sellers' other impotent characters, he is physically lame. But unlike them, he is a man of war. He smokes (though smaller cigarettes) and is a proponent of weapons of war. His right hand has a mind of its own that translates his particular sexual frustration into physical action. It wants to hold his cigarette (phallus), it wants to kill him (killing as sexual release), it wants to salute Fascism (the warlike, and thus sexual, way).
Strangelove goes on to map out the postapocalyptic (postcoital) future of the human race, hiding down mine shafts, 10 women to each man, apparently screwing like rabbits. In this context, the Cold War takes the bent of the most primal sexual frustration, that of the virgin male. The first sexual act is preceded by an equal dole of anticipation and fear, and followed by sexual awakening (and for some the multiplicity of potential conquests delineated by Strangelove).

The film builds this anticipation in many ways, most notably the military march underscoring the bombing run, but also frequent double-entendres, both verbal and visual, that keep the audience's mind on sex.
The net effect is to make the audience want to see that bomb dropped. True climax comes when it is, with Kong riding it. His mind far from fear or doubt, he is exhilarated. Making ass-slapping motions, the angle gives him the biggest erection on record.
The bombs, by the way, have graffiti on it (an air force tradition) that are tied to man-woman relationships. "Hi there" being an opening line, and "Dear John" a reference to letters used to leave a relationship. In this case, and appropriately so, "Hi there" will be used, the other no doubt reserved for "goodbye sex".
In the postcoital world, Strangelove is sexually awakened and regains the ability to walk. Awkward at first, in a parody of sexual release's "limb legs" phenomenon, but nonetheless made potent with sexual energy again.
The final end, a montage of nuclear explosions, is set to the opening, romantic music, taking us back to the initial symbol of copulation. How then can we not understand these explosions in sexual terms, as the orgasms they necessarily represent?

An alternate ending, shot but not used, was a little less subtle than this, featuring a massive cream pie fight. I'm glad we were spared this ejaculatory frenzy.
Finally, and it's ridiculous not to see it from the word go, it's all right there in the title. Dr. Strangelove is too minor a character to reasonably inspire the movie's title. The "strange love" is actually the love for the bomb, or as this essay has attempted to show, the lust of one country for the other. Watch it again and tell me I'm wrong.

Star Trek 669: Cease Fire

2008-10-07T08:11:00.000-03:00

669. Cease Fire

FORMULA: Shadows of P'Jem + Unification

WHY WE LIKE IT: The Andorians, as ever.

WHY WE DON'T: T'Pol, recalled again.

REVIEW: Another step is taken towards the Federation when the Andorians (well, Shran) request Archer to help settle a violent conflict between them and the Vulcans. One of the things that is obvious and perhaps strange in Star Trek (and perhaps SF in general) is how other cultures seem so homogeneous. Enterprise doesn't calling attention to that, and in fact, using it to make a point. The Andorians and Vulcans are one-faceted extremists (passion vs. logic). Only humanity, which alone in the galaxy has embraced diversity, can bridge the gap between them.

On a more character-driven note, Cease Fire also gives Archer the chance to prove himself to Ambassador Soval. He ends up with friends (or at least, allies) on both sides. Suzie Plakson makes yet another Trek appearance, this time as the angry Andorian Tarah. That she turns out to be a traitor to Shran's cause is perhaps a little sad and obvious, though the episode does a good job of keeping just who shot down the shuttlepod ambiguous for a good fair length of time. Ironically, Soval probably wouldn't have been convinced of Shran's sincerity if she hadn't been there opposing his efforts.

Take a drink if you noticed that Soval once again threatened T'Pol with a recall order. I did think it nice that in the middle of the action, Soval had time to express his disappointment with her career. It's true that she's ruining it running around with Archer (ergo, those recall orders).

Up in orbit, Trip gets a nice bit as he positions Enterprise between the Vulcan and Andorian ships, a metaphor for Archer down below AND humanity's role in general. Nothing really results from it, but it's cool and courageous of him. First time we see Andorian warships too. Rather basic and Star Wars-y, but it's a profile we haven't seen before. From some angles they look like spear heads or arrows.

LESSON: Only through humanity can aliens come to understand each other because we essentially contain them. (Oooh, deep.)

REWATCHABILITY - Medium-High: Possibly a crucial part of the Path to Federation story arc, with good guest-stars and a strong theme about humanity's place among the stars.

Gamer Profile: Mitrael

2008-10-06T07:05:00.001-03:00

I haven't done of these in a while, and I really should get back to covering things other than comics. Older player profiles can be found at:
Gamer Profile: The Jerk
Gamer Profile: Pout

As for Mitrael, he's one of my actual players like Pout (and since the very same day), but where Pout is anti-establishment, Mitrael represents the forces of order.

Archetype: The noble, self-sacrificing hero for whom hit points are not as important as the in-game romantic interest's life.

Explain: Though I've known curses, I've mostly been blessed with actual role-players. To Mitrael, rules are necessary abstractions required to play the game, but are not its ultimate object. The story comes first. Even his character's life can only ever come in second. Here's the player who'll throw himself in the jaws of a Tyrannosaurus Rex rather than see a woman get chomped. No matter how crazy things get, or how ridiculous, you can always count on him to sublimate his own impulses to joke around and bring the entire table's attention back to the matter at hand. Duty and honor.

And though Mitrael is definitely a funny guy, that focus makes him a natural straight man in games, as his character suffers everyone else's lunacy. And when I, as GM, see a straight man, especially a noble one, it's my cue to pile humiliations on his head. And Mitrael always plays to that, the patient victim, the valiant scapegoat. There's great humor to be had in a character hard put upon, but also great elation when that character gets his revenge.

Psych Profile: I always find that the character choices a player makes are revealing of that player's nature. Lets looks at Mitrael's life: The guy is a trained fencer, has real issues with breaking his word in the tiniest ways, and an avid reader of Dumas and Tolkien. Is it any wonder that his power fantasies cast him as a later-day musketeer?

Best game: Mitrael was never so hard put upon than as the new sheriff of Paradise in our GURPS Old West game. The citizenry just didn't take to his Indian upbringing.

So to all his characters - Mitrael, Johnny Spade, Absolut, Agent Dice, Isander Raventree, Fallout, that Vulcan captain and others - I raise my dice glass. Here's to all games past and to come.

Star Trek 668: Stigma

2008-10-06T07:00:00.001-03:00

668. Stigma

FORMULA: Fusion + Dax + Destiny

WHY WE LIKE IT: Phlox's wife. Nice matte shots.

WHY WE DON'T: The heavy-handed metaphor.

REVIEW: The events of Fusion come back and bite T'Pol in the ass. If the rather icky metaphor in that episode, if you'll remember, was date rape represented as a mindmeld. In those terms, T'Pol got the equivalent of HIV in that exchange, something that brands her as a deviant in the eyes of other Vulcans. Indeed, the episode goes on to equate the minority that can mindmeld to homosexuals (one of them even comes out of the closet). In the episode's vocabulary, there's no rush to cure the disease because it only affects society's undesirables, but T'Pol's situation is proof that an illness cannot discriminate. I.e. HIV doesn't just target gays, addicts or Third World countries. When Trek hammers the message this strongly, it's hard not to feel preached to, but to be fair, the episode was part of Viacom's HIV awareness program, so we're not supposed to miss the point.

While I've often stated that T'Pol is my least favorite character, I'm getting used to her. If you're interested in an Enterprise drinking game, by the way, be sure to drink every time they threaten to recall T'Pol to Vulcan. Though the episode is clearly about her, she doesn't get the bigger role. Archer's the actual main character, fighting for her passionately and legally. His point about humans embracing diversity more than Vulcans ever have is well put, and this episode is definitely part of the slow march towards TOS' Vulcans, not just because of the revealed "dissident movement" of melders, but of the IDIC principles espoused by Archer, but not the High Command. By the end of the episode, T'Pol is made an advocate for change.

Serviceable - if obvious - drama, but the B-plot outshines it. There, we meet Phlox's second wife, giving us more insight into Denobulan culture (they smell rather than kiss each other, for example) and psychology (how could there be jealousy on a world where everyone has multiple spouses?). The fun of it, of course, is watching Trip squirm as Feezal attempts to seduce him, with Phlox laughing all the way. Both plots consider a similar theme - cultural taboos - one dramatically, the other comically.

A small note about that other non-favorite character: Travis. Though we never see a lot of him, the accumulation of tiny moments evident when watching these episodes back to back makes him out to be something of a daredevil. Too bad that never really went anywhere.

LESSON: HIV doesn't discriminate.

REWATCHABILITY - High Medium: Sure, the main story is overly obvious, but it's worthy. I'd have watched a full 40 minutes of Mrs. Phlox's bedroom farce though.

This Week in Geek (29/09-5/10/08)

2008-10-05T15:08:00.002-03:00

Buys

Iron Man came out this week, so what do you think? Jon Favreau's really entertaining on other commentary tracks, so I'm sad not to see one included. Ah well. I also got me something missing from my collection: John Carpenter's The Thing. I mean, what was I waiting for? For Kurt Russell to come to my house and kick my ass personally?

"Accomplishments"

Books: Finished Teenagers from the Future, Sequart's collection of some 18 essays (20 if you count preface and epilogue) on the Legion of Super-Heroes. These range from studies of specific elements (fashion, utopian architecture, homosexuality) to literary criticism of the books' various eras, sometimes exposing some very interesting, and even surprising themes. One thing that does come through in the book taken as a whole is how the Legion was so often in the avant-garde of superhero comics, doing first what we would take for granted later. A very interesting read which, while it could have withstood a little more proofreading in some essays, is nonetheless very well organized by editor Tim Callahan, disparate articles somehow fitting the Legion's actual publication history.

New Unauthorized Doctor Who CCG cards: 13, finished The Invasion of Time and even slid in a couple from Genesis of the Daleks.

Someone Else's Post of the Week
Madeley's Fractal Hall Journal has really stepped it up lately, and among a number of excellent recent articles, I'd like to recommend "Keys", which talks about those moments of epiphany when you suddenly "get it". Krypto, Shakespeare, whathaveyou.

Star Trek 667: Dawn

2008-10-05T10:31:00.002-03:00

667. Dawn

FORMULA: Enemy Mine

WHY WE LIKE IT: A well-realized alien. Trip finally competent.

WHY WE DON'T: Stolen wholesale from a movie.

REVIEW: The only thing really going against this episode may not affect some viewers. If you've never seen Enemy Mine with Dennis Quaid and Louis Gossett Jr., then it's all new to you. Or it might instead remind you of episodes like The Enemy or Darmok, and sure, there's a little of The Ascent in there. But by and large, this is exactly like Enemy Mine: Downed enemy pilots, one human, the other rather more alien than we're used to, must learn to communicate, trust each other, and wait for rescue. The only difference is that for episodic television, time has been compressed and a deadline added.

Though it crosses the line, in my opinion, between homage and plagiarism, I can't deny Dawn's qualities, imported from elsewhere though they may be. Trip, for example, has never been so competent. Usually used as a clown, in Dawn he manages to successfully and believably deal with the Arkonian survivor. Fighting him (in one of the better choreographed fights in all of Trek), befriending him, and ultimately saving his life. Some highlights include using his log playback to lure the alien away from camp, and repeatedly throwing away the gun to show his intentions. Because of the language barrier, we get a lot of Trip talking to himself, but the character's comic take on things keeps it interesting rather than tedious.

I won't pretend the Arkonians are as interesting as the Enemy Mine alien played by Gossett Jr., but the portrayal is still well beyond what we usually get on Star Trek. His body language is well suited to his reptilian look, and his delivery of English words funny without being silly. It's just too bad the "translated" Arkonians dealing with Archer have none of that flavour. The various reversals of fortune on the planet gives both Trip and Zoh'Kaan their proper due as "heroes", both fighters, but both noble and honorable. Too bad we never saw these (admittedly insular) aliens again. I guess our friendship with the Vulcans was just too much for them.

LESSON: Theft is the greatest form of flattery. See you in court.

REWATCHABILITY - High Medium: It's the best Trip episode yet, possibly ever, so I won't really begrudge it the fact its roots are showing.

Spaceknight Saturdays: Secret Invasion Tie-In!

2008-10-04T11:47:00.001-03:00

Rom continues his tour of the Marvel Universe, this time going right to its fringe as he meets Nova, the Nova Corps and the Xandarian New Champions. Sure, Nova has his own title NOW, but back then, he was on the outs. His own series had ended at #25 with his new status quo on Xandar, and aside from a Fantastic Four appearance that had pitted him against the Skrulls, had this Marv Wolfman creation left dangling in limbo (not THAT limbo). Can Rom help him fulfill his destiny like he did another Wolfman creation, Torpedo?

First, he has to meet Nova. Which is easily arranged seeing as a) he's in a Skrull ship and b) the ship stops near Xandar rather than Galador's "Golden Galaxy". Since this is a Marvel comic, they fight:
And since this is a Rom comic, the Spaceknight quickly hands him his ass. Mention of Earth pacifies Nova, and the two heroes exchange flashbacks. In fact, Nova seems plagued by flashbacks.
He's also bored stiff, having been relegated to guard duty while the New Champions and Nova Corps as gone out to meet the Skrull spearhead. But lo, Rom has arrived just in time to see the Xandarian force's victorious return from thei war with the Skrull Empire.
But I promised a Secret Invasion tie-in. As you know and are possibly doing your best to ignore, Marvel Earth is currently in the throes of a major offensive from the Skrulls, and it may be helpful to look at their strategy against Xandar and see 1) how it relates to Secret Invasion and 2) how it relates to the Dire Wraiths' own, and I say more successful, "secret invasion".

Obviously, the returning forces have been replaced by Skrulls. That's what shape-shifters would most certainly do. So once you get back to the enemy's world, what's the first thing you do? Infiltrate all levels of society? Get close to the leaders and assassinate them? No, the way to kick off a Secret Invasion is to DECLARE YOUR PRESENCE!
So that hasn't changed. At least Bendis is consistent with past portrayals. Advantage: Dire Wraiths. Rom's used to much worse - it's gonna be a massacre.
The only link is the shape-shifting, Rom. Trust me. Meanwhile, Nova also gets up to some badassery when he goes up to meet the Skrull-infested warship in orbit.
Result:
Turns out New Champion Diamondhead is a filthy traitor, leading to a silent fight between him and Nova (in space, no one can hear you bluster - despite the fact that we've seen a couple of space battles where Nova could indeed speak), which sends Diamondhead to his Skrully buddies.
Simple matter then to rescue the real Nova Corps and surviving Champions from a sort of Negative Zone/transporter buffer thingy called a "Dimensional Phaser". And it's back down to Xandar to finish the fight. How IS the full frontal assault strategy going for the Skrulls anyway?
About as expected.

Once the tide is turned and the enemy beaten, it's time for Mantlo to put Nova out of his misery. He's teleported back to Earth by Xandar's Protector, without his uniform or powers, to live a normal life. But can he teleport Rom to Galador? Maybe. As soon as he finishes his game of Tetris.
Moved? The Skrulls could take a page from the Dire Wraith handbook, that's for sure. They're moving entire GALAXIES about! None of this "turning into combinations of superheroes" malarkey.

Next week: The double-sized 25th issue!

Star Trek 666: The Catwalk

2008-10-04T11:01:00.001-03:00

666. The Catwalk

FORMULA: Fair Haven + Apollo 13 + Starship Mine

WHY WE LIKE IT: A new and unusual part of the ship.

WHY WE DON'T: A bit too compartmentalized.

REVIEW: The kind of story that was inspired by looking through one of those technical manual, it features the inside of a warp nacelle for the first time since Eye of the Beholder, and to good effect. When a deadly [technobabble] storm front approaches, Enterprise can't outrun it at its low speed (epic fail moment), so the crew takes refuge inside a nacelle where they can best weather the radioactive barrage.

The "catwalk" becomes a kind of shanty town for the week, where we see the crew roughing it, getting on each others' nerves, and sharing the kinds of moments you only do on long road trips or camping excursions (talking through all hours of the night, for example). Enterprise features some of its best ideas when the dangers of space travel are the focus, and the switch to a cramped section reminds me of Apollo 13's famous move to the lander. It would have been nice to see the nacelle as one long tube crammed with people, but compartments was no doubt more realistic and cost effective. At least we get to see Chef (sort of) for the first (and technically last) time.

Though tensions get naturally high, an outside danger rears its head when Engineering comes online all by its lonesome. Turns out some refugees Enterprise took on are fugitives from a piratical military force who's trying to confiscate Enterprise. They don't know the crew's in a nacelle and are about to fry them alive by turning on the engines. At this point, the episode turns into Die Hard, with lots of action, bravado and clever tricks to get the aliens off the ship. Fun stuff.

LESSON: Save the animals, but screw the hydroponics.

REWATCHABILITY - Medium-High: A clever use of the ship's entire space with plenty of character moments, but also a satisfying action-filled finale.

Friday Night Catfight: Le Massacre

2008-10-03T20:12:00.002-03:00

I've been absent from Friday Night Fights lately due to work-related stuff, but I just had to post a bit about Kraven's daughter (hereafter: Kravène).

The issue is Amazing Spider-Man #567. To whom does she deal the greatest blow? Is it...

Spider-Man?Daredevil?
Nope. The answer is: The French language!
Writer Marc Guggenheim isn't just bad at not calling people who don't like his Spider-Man comics queer, but as it turns out, his French is equally atrocious.

That first sentence is fine: "Where are you going?" The second is a mangled translation that doesn't even pass the BabelFish test. Let me try a re-translation here: "I am not massacre made you yet." I believe she's trying to say "I haven't killed you yet," or perhaps even more simply "I'm not done with you." In the future, Kravène would do better with "Je ne vous ai pas encore tués," or "Je n'ai pas fini avec vous."

The more you know, the more you realize Bahlactus knows all.

Every Universe Needs a Slime Monster

2008-10-03T08:15:00.003-03:00

SLUDGE #1, Malibu Comics, October 1993
From Malibu Comics' Ultraverse comes Sludge, yet another slop monster created by none other than Steve Gerber, the same guy behind the Man-Thing. It's the same old curse: Once you've worked on a muck monster comic, you're doomed to do so again. But how many times can you go to the well?

I'm unenthusiastic about Sludge because, well, I've seen it all before. A cop falls into a chemical, then into the sewers. He's turned into a monster and would rather be dead. The monster has the cop's memories, but his mind is affected - he can't think straight. Oh, and get this: When he puts his hands on skin, it turns to putty and he can mash it in gross and exciting ways.
Just like the Man-Thing (a scene just like the one above even occurs in Rampaging Hulk #7).

But it's not the same-old, same-old origin that loses me. It's not even the fact that Sludge is the only character well drawn by artist Aaron Lopestri (and he's a misshapen creature). No, it's the nastiness of the comic. Take, for example, this pointless drive-by that attracts Sludge's attention:
Does there HAVE to be a dead baby in the shot? It managed to go too far and not far enough at the same time. This kind of stuff either has to be subtle or an obvious Garth Ennis-style black comedy. Here, it's just tastelessly violent. More? You fiends. Ok, here's the final demise of a thug (after the others have been face-melted, beaten to death or had their backs broken Bane-style):
Sludge frickin steps on a guy's head and crushes his face into the pavement. That's just sickening.

The two other issues I bought have gory autopsies, women being shot in the head, and people ripped in half by gunfire. Too nasty for any of Gerber's flights of fancy to keep me aboard. By the time Sludge tries to get drunk, well, I knew there was nothing left in the well.

Star Trek 665: Precious Cargo

2008-10-03T08:13:00.001-03:00

665. Precious Cargo

FORMULA: The Perfect Mate + Elaan of Troyus

WHY WE LIKE IT: Archer's interrogation scene.

WHY WE DON'T: Padma Lakshimi's acting.

REVIEW: A really, really derivative script, this one. It's the classic "two people who hate each other fall in love on a desert island" shtick, which must have seemed even more familiar to Scott Bakula and his fans given that Quantum Leap did an episode on that once. The reuse of a beautiful Kriosian in stasis further mirrors The Perfect Mate, except Kaitaama is shrewish where Kamala was charming. Interesting to get a sense of Krios before the Klingons took it over, but they really didn't reinvent the wheel when it comes to the plot.

I won't argue that Padma Lakshimi isn't a beautiful, exotic woman, but the acting just wasn't there for me. At times, it seems like it's her poor handle on the Enlish language, at others, her model/celebrity chef roots are simply showing. It doesn't help that Kaitaama is written to be a romance cliché, going from total disdain of Trip to sleeping with him in very little time indeed. She's an object, so it's perhaps fitting that her acting be wooden.

The shipboard stuff is more interesting as Archer and T'Pol put on an outrageous good cop/bad cop routine to intimidate a kidnapper into giving up his ship's position. Nice staging (did they empty the mess hall for this or are there large empty rooms on Enterprise?) and a real hoot. T'Pol sizes the man up for his coffin, of all things. It's like a personal Corbomite Maneuver.

And there are some good production values too. The swamp set is expansive enough to be credible (finally, an environment Hillbilly Trip can be comfortable in), the jungle music quite good, and the crash landing well done.

LESSON: Kriosians carry Valt's jerk gene too.

REWATCHABILITY - Medium-Low: Between the acting train wreck that is Kaitaama and the mind-numbing romantic comedy plot... Just look at the pretty girl and set brain to off.