Loving advice for my teenaged daughter

Buying For Others.....The Joy Of Giving

2009-12-26T19:56:00.002-06:00

Every year, especially at Christmas time, I get the long list of what my darling daughter wants for Christmas. I got that this year, but I also noticed a part of her that changed a little....she was buying for others. She is finally learning the joy of giving out gifts, as well as recieving them. What a blessing this Christmas was.
Not only did I get a gift, but she gave out to several of her friends and family too. I didn't see her buy anything for her father, and I think that's because he never comes around. I don't think that he even called her or texted her either. But life went on, and it was good.
Trying to raise a responsible teen is challenging, to say the least.....but it is very rewarding to see when they have done something grown up without you having to remind them.

My Daughter's Car.

2009-12-11T19:47:00.003-06:00

sorry for not posting for awhile. I have been quite dismayed over the fact that--now this may sound silly, but my daughter's car has been in the shop for 4 months now and I am about to go WILD! Yes, it's true...and it's been problems with the transmission. They thought it was fixed at one point and before we got it, it started acting up so we didn't get it back, so here I am, anxious to get it back, and the reason for this is that she is driving MY car. I know, I could drive her around every where but she is a very busy teen and I just feel as though she needs to be able to come and go to school, the barn and to work.
Now, if she was not getting excellent grades in school or was getting in trouble, then she wouldn't be having the freedom to get around easily, but she has earned the right to have her car.
At what age do you think a teen should have their own car? My daughter is 16, but is very responsible and I feel that she is worthy of having her own transportation. It's not a new car at all, and thank goodness for that, otherwise, the insurance would be higher.

Driving Like An Adult

2009-10-15T06:38:00.002-05:00

I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but now my daughter is driving, getting from point A to B and it's a very good feeling, for me and for her. I have given my daughter free reign on a few places that she is allowed to drive without question.
1. school
2. work
3. the barn
4. anywhere to grab a bite to eat to or from the first three.

Now, if she wants to go anywhere else, she has to have my permission. So far, there have been a few places she has asked to go, but since she's so busy, it's not many.
Class rings were ordered and she picked up a friend who lives close by to take her to the school for the ordering, but she came home right afterwards and so far, she is doing what's she's supposed to. I know that I am blessed by her behaviour, and I thank GOD everyday for her maturity and wanting to do what's best. This is not to say that she acts like an adult, but that she is showing some maturity for her age.

Parent Taught Drivers Ed Was A Success!

2009-10-07T06:40:00.002-05:00

Running through all the options of how I was going to be able to find a way for my daughter to get her driver's license, I knew that if she was going to get it before she turned 18, the laws of Texas state that they must either go through driver's ed school or the parent taught driving....and with the prices being close to $400 for the course, I opted for the parent-taught course. I put all 4 of my other children through the course but it wasn't that expensive when they went through it, so I thought I would give this a try. My darling teen is a very thoughtful young lady, and has learned to listen well and this was honestly the best decision where she was concerned. She actually listened to my teaching and she followed what was to be done. Now, let me tell you, this is not the easiest or shortest way to go but I felt as though my daughter was able to learn alot this way, and she REALLY got alot of experience. It has been 6 months since she has held her drivers permit and we got all our paperwork together (this includes the VOE from school, her driver's permit, my signed affidavidt stating that I did not feel she needed a driver's test, and the 2 papers showing that she completed the required hours and with a $5 bill, she was getting her thumbprints and her picture taken. WHEH!!!!!!! I am SO glad it's done and she is now a licenced driver, and you know what else that meant, right? I had to call our insurance and put her on it, but thankfully, our insurance gave her a discount for having A's and B's on the report card!

A Happy Horse After Smelling A Poptart, and yes, she CAN see through her Fly Mask!

2009-09-30T07:29:00.004-05:00

This is my daughter's horse, Frenchie, happier than ever that she got a sniff of a blueberry poptart.....my daughter says that she is smiling.

You might think that she cannot see through that mask, but it's to keep the flies off of her face, and yes, she can definetly see through it.

The Horse Show

2009-09-23T15:54:00.002-05:00

My daughter went to her second horse show this past weekend but it was her 1st jumping show.....She was so happy, and yes, I am a proud mamma, as she won 1st and 2nd place in the walk-trot- and the walk-trot-canter. She placed 3rd and 4th in the classes on the jumping. She has a really nice riding position but it turns out that when "Frenchie" saw the judge sitting in the booth, she decided to go a little faster than she should have. All in all, it was a great experience and we are very pleased. This picture is of her on Frenchie, with her trainer, Miss Carla.

The HomeComing Dance

2009-09-12T18:35:00.002-05:00

Tonight is my daughter's homecoming dance and she is going. We ended up buying her dress at Ross for a great bargain price, and the heels, she already had. Hair cut ended up costing around $12. and the ticket for entering is a mere $7, so I think that we managed it pretty good, however, the cost of those professional picture packages were a little more than planned but we went ahead and bought the $25 package because I think that she deserves to have something for her memory. Now, most of you who keep up with my blog know that my daughter is not a "dress up" type of gal......she's really into her jeans, but I am so happy to see her actually want to go this evening. Whoops, it's almost time to go so have a good weekend everyone!

School's Back In Session

2009-08-25T14:48:00.002-05:00

Today was the first day back to school and my poor dear darling daughter was very nervous....and not because it was a new school or anything, but just because. Sometimes teen daughters just have those feelings of uneasiness, but it's okay....I know that by the end of the school day, she will come home all excited about seeing her friends again and talking about the new classes she has.
Give your teen moral support and let her/him know that you understand their nervousness but that everything will be fine. Show interest in their new classes and what they have going on. For me, I enjoy hearing all about what she's thinking and what's going on with her, and I think this keeps the door open for a great parent/child (teen) relationship.

Parent Taught Drivers Ed Update

2009-08-20T07:16:00.003-05:00

Well, my daughter just turned sweet 16, and that means that next month will make her 6 months of holding her driver's permit and she will be able to finally get that license. I am very proud of her because she has become a really good driver. I think that the 6 months driving with an adult gives them the experience of becoming more sure of what they're doing, and also gives them plenty of opportunity to be able to deal with the real world of driving. School will start next week and she won't be able to driver herself yet, but it will soon come and I am happy about it. Now, my rules for her driving alone has been let known to her so she's prepared for it. Here are my rules for her:
No cell phone or texting while in the car driving
Drive by the rules
No driving anywhere other than school, the barn and to work unless asking first
Keep the car decently clean
Always keep gas in the car, just in case
If there's a problem with the car, always let me know before it gets to be a problem
Always watch out for the other driver because they are not always watching for you.

Quinceanera Checklist--- A Double Check

2009-08-14T07:28:00.004-05:00

Here is a second checklist of help when planning your daughter's quinceanera...........

1. Make sure if she or her party is changing for different dances that they have all their clothing packed and ready, packed in a small bag for easy location.
2. Good communication is important with your band or DJ especially if you are making your own CD of music to make sure your CD will play in their equipment, and if not, make sure they know what songs you want played, especially for the dance.
3. Talk with your photographer to make sure they know exactly what pictures you want.
4. Don't over order the cake because not everyone wants a piece and you will have left overs.
5. Ensure that the location you are renting has ample room for the quinceanera and her party to dance....it takes more room with more damas and their partners.
6. When deciding on food to serve, make sure you do not serve foods with alot of messy sauce that may be spilled easily.
7. Balloons make excellent decorations, especially on a budget.
8. Make sure the quinceanera's party knows what time you expect them there.
9. When decorating the hall yourselves, make sure once youv'e made your decorations, you pack them up in boxes that will make it easier to carry into the hall.
10. Don't forget to have fun, because it is alot of work.

School Clothes Buying

2009-08-13T21:43:00.003-05:00

Yep, it's that time again, and school will be in session soon.....so, here comes the school clothes buying and buying for a teen isn't cheap. Even though my daughter is working a part time job, I don't expect her to buy all of her clothing but to help, that's a plus. She has already purchased 3 new pair of jeans, and I kicked in with 2 new shirts and the backpack. Her older sister wanted to buy her some shoes since her birthday is this week so that helped alot. I have found that even though Walmart offers cheap things, I have found that JCPenney is really offering some great sales as well. We mostly shop on the sales rack and have found some screen tees for only $5.99 which is very much in our budget. Look around for sales, coupons and ads to find the best deals, and most of all, don't feel as if you have to buy the most expensive, name brand labels, unless you really want it. Happy Shopping!

Spending Your Paychecks Wisely

2009-07-29T11:59:00.003-05:00

When teens start working, they are so excited when that first and even the second check hits their hands. What do they do with it? Spend it, of course. I have stated in previous posts that I helped my daughter set up her own bank account so that she can learn how to manage her money more wisely. This has been really good so far because when she gets her check, she decides how much to leave in the account to spend and how much goes into the savings. Good thing with her account is that she can get online and transfer it back and forth.....that works for her!
With school fastly approaching, she has decided to spend a little bit on clothing and it really helps me out because she is buying what she really wants, and learning how to shop for bargains. There are, of course, times that she wants something a little over-priced but then again, she's in the beginning stages of learning, and that can take time.
Dear daughter, right now, you are earning your own money, but when you get out of school, and you are on your own, it won't be as much fun spending it because there will be bills after you get your own place, so now is a great time to learn how to look for bargains., and still enjoy spending what you have.

How Talking To Your Teen Really Helps

2009-07-20T08:58:00.003-05:00

Talking to my teen is mostly easy, but that's because we have always had a good repore and can talk to each other, however, I have had 4 other teens before her that weren't as easy to talk with. Starting early at having nice and calm discussions really make a difference. I have also found that talking things over and giving them a chance to voice their opinion is also good. You don't have to always agree with their thoughts, but you can find out more about how they are thinking by listening. From the beginning, I have let my teens know what I expect from them and if they don't follow the rules, what will happen. Finding the right discipline really helps and for me, it's all about letting her do things and have some freedom but if she doesn't make wise choices then taking away the electronics make a difference....but she hasn't challenged that yet because she has seen her older brothers and sisters go through it and has decided not to upset the apple cart. Following through with what you say you will do is also something that must be done for them to understand that what you say, you mean. Take interest in what your teen says because it allows you to see inside of their world.

Do You Trust Your Teen?

2009-07-15T20:11:00.002-05:00

Trust is a big issue with me and I have told my daughter that even if she's done something bad, I would rather hear it from her than getting told by someone else or having a lie told. Right now, we have great communication but teens can be somewhat secretive at times...don't we all know that? We have lived through our own teen years. Right now, I give her my trust because she hasn't done anything to make me doubt her. I don't know if things will change once she starts driving on her own and going back and forth places without me in the car...guess we will see when the time comes, but until she proves otherwise, my trust is in her.

Learning How To Balance

2009-07-13T12:35:00.002-05:00

Does your teen have alot going on in her life? Even though summer's here, things can get pretty hectic, and for my daughter, she has alot going on right now. Working a part-time job, sometimes a split shift, along with caring for and riding her horse, her household chores and free time takes time to learn how to balance. It's okay to be busy, but there are times that she needs to just "do nothing". If your teen has alot going on in her life, make sure that you do everything you can to help her learn how to balance her life along with getting enough rest and relaxation.

"I'm Tired" She said

2009-07-03T16:29:00.003-05:00

Yes, I heard those two words that a teenager likes to say during the summer, and I think that she has a valid complaint, at least some of the time. Her working hours are not very much so it allows her to have free time along with days off to have some summer fun. The best of both worlds, especially when the paycheck comes in and she has something to deposit into her account. Getting a good night's rest is very important to a teenager, especially when they are working or having other activities that draw alot of energy. I try to make sure that she is getting enough protein in her diet as well as enough to drink so that she stays hydrated. At least I have NOT heard the words "I'm Bored!" Thank goodness.

Learning How To Bank

2009-06-27T08:40:00.002-05:00

First of all, I would suggest that you have a job or some sort of income so that you have a reason to bank. Search around for a bank that has alot to offer, or better yet, open an account where your parents bank because more than likely, they will have to help you sign up for an account. After that is decided, go in to start an account but make sure you have some money to open it with. Some places offer alot of benefits so that's a good start. Our bank offered my daughter an ATM card, which I went along with because I want her to learn how to manage her money...it's a good way for her to be able to buy her own gas for her car, purchase clothing or whatever she feels that she needs. With her first check, we put half of it into the savings account and the other half into the checking. I showed her how to use the check register to enter whatever she buys. Simple and easy, if you have 100.00 to spend, for each purchase and after EACH purchase, it has to be entered into the register and subtracted off the balance so that you know how much you have to spend. I told her to NEVER let it get close to zero, just in case she makes an error in subtraction, but the calculator is a good thing to use. So far, she has made a few purchases and it is working out well. Be very careful about WHERE you keep your card, and keeping the 4 number code to use it to yourself. You have to know that if you don't have the money in the account to spend, then you just CAN'T spend it. Online banking is a plus and our bank allows her to transfer from her savings to the checking and visa versa. If you have bills to pay, write them down when you get your check so you know what has to be paid first. Obligations first, then fun stuff. Good luck with your first paychecks! This is just the beginning of a lifetime of learning how to spend your money.

A Time And A Place For Everything

2009-06-18T06:54:00.002-05:00

These days have been terribly busy and I am glad that my teen isn't saying she's bored. Although extrememly busy, where does one find the time to do everything that's on the agenda? Sometimes there isn't enough time to get it all done in a whole day, and that's okay. There ae days and times when we just have to take time to "smell the roses", and just relax. I think that effective planning does help, but it's not somethng that has to be stuck in glue. Making a list of things that need to get done is good, something to go by, but not set in stone. I want my daughter to work part time but I don't want her to get burnt out by working at an early age. I want her to see that working is good, great excercise, money in the pocket but there is also time for the fun things in life as well. Spending days off doing summer fun activities is important and will make having to go to work more pleasurable. There's a time and place for everything....enjoy your summer!

A Busy Summer

2009-06-16T08:23:00.002-05:00

Now that my daughter has gotten a part time job, things are a little more busier around here. She is not able to drive alone yet, but that will come about pretty soon. My car is definetly getting more driving time this summer, but it's great because my daughter isn't bored. She is working 17 hours average per week, spending time riding her horse, and still has time to lay around in her bedroom watching tv and getting rest.
What are your teens doing for the summer break? Swimming, or other activities that keep them busy?

Starting A New Job Today

2009-06-05T07:55:00.002-05:00

Well, today was the first day out of school, but my daughter had to get up early anyways to start her first day on the job. Thank goodness, it's only a part-time thing....which gives her plenty of time to do other things during the summer.
I was really anxious and excited for her this morning as she got out of the car, and so was she.
What is your teen doing for the summer? Do you have anything special planned for the summer?

Getting A Summer Job

2009-06-04T07:18:00.002-05:00

While many parents don't mind if their teens sleep in all day during the summer, I guess I am just one parent who doesn't like it very much. Staying up until wee morning hours and sleeping the day away is just something that many teens do, and even my own older children have done as well. There are days that I let my daughter sleep in, but it's only because I know she needs the extra sleep. This summer, however, is going to be different. She wants to drive a car, she wants to make money to have something to spend, she also wants to have some money to save for herself in the next few years. My daughter didn't want to be bored this summer, so we decided that she either volunteer somewhere or get herself a part-time job. Now, knowing that jobs are harder to come by right now, she decided to try and get a job within the field that she is interested in for her future.....well, no such luck with any equestrian vets with a 15-almost 16 yr. old, so she went towards the dog/cat field. There are many kennels around, mostly needing little things done such as walking the dog, feeding, cleaning up the kennels (yes, of course it's messy) but this is what she wanted. I helped her out by calling around to see at what age they hire. Wrote down a list of the ones saying they were taking applications and we decided on one that was fairly close to the house. She dressed appropriately, went in alone, talked to the lady in charge, filled out the application, interviewed at the same time and wow!!!! Much to our suprize, she got hired on the spot!!!!
Tomorrow is her first day home from school, and she will be going into work. It's only part time so this will be wonderful....not only will she make a little money, but she will not be bored this summer!

Getting Your First Car

2009-05-26T09:39:00.002-05:00

Tons of teens are getting cars as they start driving, or maybe they don't get their own car until graduation. Some get brand new cars and some don't. I have discussed with my teen, that getting ANY car is a blessing. Not everyone gets their first car handed to them. Well, we just so happened to be fortunate enough that her step brother gave her a car....nothing new of course, but it's a 93 mustang. It's a great old car, and something that doesn't have to be paid on monthly. My daughter is so pleased that she will have something of her own to drive, and believe me, I am pleased as well, because she goes to the barn every single day during the week, and this will definetly relieve me of that trip every day,that is, once she gets her permit. Her permit will be here in September so that's not far away.
Dear daughter, my advice to you is to take care of what you have. An old car isn't the prettiest thing, but it's got air conditioning, nice tires, good running motor and tranny.....and lastly, it's yours! Not only does this mean that it needs gas, but oil changes and washing as well. Oh boy am I glad there's a mechanic in the family!

Teen Goals For The Future

2009-05-20T06:58:00.002-05:00

Does your teen have any goals for their future? Do you know what type of dreams they have for their future? Well, I think that every child is different, some not sure of what they want until they reach their senior year or beyond, but my daughter has already decided that her future is in the equine field. She wants to be a horse veteranarian and travel to different farms for her services. She also wants to learn how to shoe a horse as well. All of her high school classes are geared towards this goal. I am very proud of her but I also want to state here that it's okay for a young person to not be yet decided because there are so many things out there these days and the future has alot of great things in store. Times will be harder for our children and our grandchildren, that's for sure, but having some sort of goal gives them something to work towards. What are your teen's goals? Have you sat down and talked to them about them?

Here Comes Another Summer......Time Is Passing So Quickly

2009-05-15T07:20:00.005-05:00

With yet fastly approaching the closing of another school year, I am starting to feel as though my baby has grown up so quickly and time seems to sneak by so fast. We've had a good year though, mostly adjusting to no more band, or football games to attend because she isn't in band any longer, but blossoming on to newer things in her life. She is going to go to her first horse show this weekend and I am so happy to see that she is making progress in her future planning. She still wants to be a horse veteranarian and is taking all the neccessary classes in high school to gear herself towards that goal. She is taking more responsibility with her horse and is about finished with the parent-taught driver's ed. I feel very proud that she is heading in the right direction. What's coming for the summer? Hopefully a part-time summer job so that she can learn how to manage money. I am going to set her up a checking account as soon as she gets a job so I can start teaching her about money and how to spend wisely...and to save. What plans do your teens have for the summer?

Stopping Behind the Bus While Picking Up Students

2009-04-15T09:15:00.004-05:00

Today I was taking my daughter to school, and darned it all, I got stuck behind a bus picking up students. I have this passion about going through the school zones and I believe that no matter what--those rules NEED to be observed. I stopped behind the bus, as always, but 2 cars ahead of me went right around the stop sign. I was FURIOUS!!!! I Do NOT understand how people can just go right around the bus as if it were nothing. Why do people do that? Don't they see that the bus is stopped to pick up kids going to school? Don't they see that fricken stop sign? Doesn't anybody care about the driving rules anymore?