I , Me and Shakthi - Life's little lessons

Blog moved to http://shakthidharan.net

2009-01-02T14:25:00.000+05:30

My Blog has moved Here

Happy New Year !!

2008-12-26T18:49:00.001+05:30

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi !!

2008-12-16T09:20:00.000+05:30

Me and my worries !! I think we are married to each other and the way things are going now , I have a bad feeling that I will have to do what Shah Rukh did in the movie to get around ; become someone else !!

Here is how that someone should be :

Totally Wealthy
With a lot of investments that are in the green
With a totally understanding family
Should be a good planner
Weighing less than me
More mobile than me
Earns more than me
Looks better than me

Whoa !!
What am I doing ? Dreaming in the day with my eyes open !!
Hmm , lemme get back to solving my woes !!
Ciao till tommorow

~Shakthi

We have a date !!

2008-12-15T13:33:00.001+05:30

I finally have a date for the first of the three surgeries that will get me back to normalcy . Somehow , I dont feel all that happy . My past experiences with surgeries havent been pleasant at all .The last one I had ; knocked me out of action for almost a year and when I came back , it was painful , very very very painful .

Maybe I am just being a child , medicine does improve in 20+ years and I am sure it has . I am just paranoid ; I just need to relax and let it happen and everything will be ok . Just that having a dependent family puts that much more pressure on you to not go out of action . My family is far more important than anything else to me .

The day is Friday and let me keep my fingers crossed !!

Lost again ??

2008-12-11T12:54:00.001+05:30

I dunno what the Yanks are upto
I dunno what the Desis are upto
I dunno what I am upto
I dunno what the market is upto
I dunno what the industry is upto

I know I am lost !!

Languishing in La La Land :(

2008-12-10T16:36:00.002+05:30

My dear Seniors and Elders

I am trying to get my health fixed . Without that , I cannot be around for my son and my family . Why in the name of sweet heavens dont you understand that ? Everybody is carried away with a list of things that they think is important . Well here is the bottom line ; I have decided to have a life and I will live my life ; whatever whoever thinks I dont care . I owe a healthy life to me and my family .

If there are commitments getting delayed
If there is a project getting delayed
If I loose my job

Well , guess what ? I DONT CARE !!
I have had enuf living a second grade life and want my life back

I dont care what who thinks anymore .

Thanks for your understanding

Yours
Shakthi

Crow and the Swans ??

2008-12-03T14:08:00.001+05:30

What chance does the former have to get even minimal credence in the presence of the latter ? ZERO !!

That is what I , Me and Shakthi feel today

(Sorry abt this obnoxious post, but I just write what I feel)

Happy Bday Sus !!

2008-11-30T17:23:00.002+05:30

Have a Blast and have it throughout the year !!

You deserve the very best of everything and you will get it .

You are a glowing example of spirit , grit and determination

No No : No Hindi poem ;-)

HBD !!

"Forever" - What a thought !

2008-11-06T09:12:00.003+05:30

There are things that fascinate me from childhood . "Forever" is one of them . The very concept of forever is very intriguing . When did time start and when will it end ? What a fantastic thought ! Truly needs a fertile mind to think it up and make sense out of it . Come to think of it , something or someone that will be there forever !! Wowee!!

With that thought ; I started thinking , if forever was true , what would I want forever ? Then there would be a list of things there , some that I am used to and many that I want to be used to . So here goes my forever list .

Things I want forever :

Hari
Hema
All my relatives
Sus
My Sense of Humor
Rajesh and Sampath

Now down to the why part of this list . Let us take them one by one .

Hari is the center of my universe and If I am to be ; he has to be otherwise I am not . That is the best way to put it
Hema is me and together we are WE , the very essence of me
My relatives are the completely total support system I have and they are necessary for everything
Sus , you must be surprised to find you here in this list ; well frankly so am I , never before has someone become so important , valuable and totally reliable for me ever in my insignificant life so far . I alone know the number of times that you have supported me when I was down and out and there are no words to describe that ; even my family knows that very well . so I figure if there is a forever , our friendship deserves it ! What say ?

My Sense of humor is the only thing that is between where I am today and what I would have been otherwise ; so i want to keep it forever too

Rajesh and Sampath : Two of my best friends who will do anything for me and I will do anything for them ; they are the pillars of my thoughts , plans and everything . They kinda complete my world . They are like little brothers who are growing up and growing up Fast . I want to have them also with me forever .

That's all , not a very long forever list na ?
See you soon !!

Sus - The Cool Cucumber !!

2008-10-29T19:37:00.001+05:30

A very Happy Diwali to all of you . An occasion demands a spl write up , and what can be better than writing about the most special friend I have - Sus ; The Cool Cucumber !! I remember first meeting her on the floor roughly two years ago . We were sitting right opposite each other and dint even speak to each other for the first two days . By that time I was stifled with the stiff upper lip on the floor that everybody had and wanted to talk to someone before I died of shock ! I then started talking to everybody who I came across and first on that list was Madam Sus . And believe me ; there are many things I did wrong ; but that is the RIGHTEST thing that I have done in a long long time now and boy am I glad I did it !! Very rarely does a friend like her come along - very practical ; very supportive and always there . You know what is the best thing about her ; She can listen to you abt anything ; meaning that there is no topic that you can't talk with her . All her suggestions are right there and she does a lot of analysing very fast . Together we have had what can be called very clearly the most funniest moments that anybody on the floor has had in this project and there are many pple who will vouch for that . Whenever the chips are down (believe me ; that is just too often in my life :) ) she is there for me . She calls me the liveliest person on the floor , but she is the alivest person on the floor . She keeps my spirits going by just being there and not having any rules to be there . She is also like me ; comes to office early and leaves pretty late (rare group of people who don't wake up at 11:00 am ) . There have been many a times when I was under MAJOR stress and she just supports me through the whole experience . I also have a doubt that she is a Dhoni fan :) (she denied that though) .

Here is what I would summarize this as " Most people read history , people like Sus ; write it !!"

Sorry Sus , No Hindi poetry at the end !!

Ciao till the next post

Managing the future

2008-08-26T17:11:00.002+05:30

As it turns out , this is very very tough ; future is something that people rarely think of , leave alone plan for .Even if they do plan , most of the times the plan and the happenings never coincide . So when it comes to managing the future of a bunch of young people , wow !! whattefun !!

First up , they have no idea what they are doing and how it gells with the team and the industry .Next is that they have a bunch of totally misguided peers to give them solid misdirection , the last but not the least is their adamant refusal to climb out of the shells that they call their comfort zones . Well if Edison and Galileo and Newton stuck to doing what they are comfortable with , you can guess what would have happened .

Forget comparisons to greatness ; come down to the earth .These energetic young guys look like China clay and you start believing that they can be moulded into professionals and then you start only to realise that they are porcelain , tough to reshape once shaped . You hurt your own hands and fingers after that . Then they come and ask you not "Are you hurt ?" but "Why did you even try , aint it my life ?"

Well my dear youg friends that is the point ; it is your life and you get precisely only one shot at it , and when people hardened by life tell you things , it is not just because they like hearing their own voice

Have a great life ahead !!

My Team ??

2008-08-23T08:40:00.004+05:30

There are things that are close to your heart . There are things that you build from scratch and feel proud about . There are things that you hold very dear to yourself . My dear reader , in my case one of the things that I hold very close to my heart is my team . I always treat them and think of them as my family , but then in all this thought lines I forgot about what they think about me ; Guess what ? I found out the hard way . In a pressure situation ; they chose someone else over me .

Not that I am anybody to dictate their choices ; but just that the effort I put in into this team is so close to my heart that even me; the hardened pro ; could not take it . But I guess that is where life teaches lessons ; the boy in the park ; my financial scene ; my health ; my mobility and now my team are all lessons in life for me .

Where did I go wrong ? I am sure that it is me who is at fault again with my royal expectations from the people that I regard as close to me . Where was the issue ? I remember the good old days when there were just 4 of us and we worked and played absolutely hard .I felt like I had another family back then .We used to look forward to Fridays and have a blast .

Even if the scene at home went bad ; the guys were there like solid rock and supported me to the hilt . What went wrong ? I gave them things that they can only dream ofand I even made them comfy with the top brass ;

Looks like their false sense of companionship and team are getting in the way of their judgement and screwing the ability to see things clearly . Am I getting restless unecessarily ? Am i loosing it ? Is my team pissed with me ?? Where do I stand now ? I am lost and need help urgently , I am thinking ; "Is this time to change things or the place ??"

Help me out here

jeene ke liye socha hi nahin, dard sambhalane honge

2008-07-31T11:55:00.002+05:30

jeene ke liye socha hi na tha, dard sambhalane honge

muskuraoon to, muskurane ke karz utaarne honge

muskuraoon kabhi to lagata hai

jaise hontonn pe karz rakhaa hai

What a song !!

Describes my predicament to the dot . When I was growing up , I thought I would be up against odds , but not this many and of this magnitude .It is now standing at a point where I am scared to be happy , coz the price for happiness is too high . Simple things , take a walk , play with my kid , walk with my wife , laugh out aloud , these are proving to be too costly and rare now-a-days . Is it me ? Is this what life is ? Well this is not what I thought it would be . Hope that it will et better soon

(FINGERS CROSSED )

Back after a long while ...

2008-07-03T16:01:00.002+05:30

Hello Friends , I am back after a long time .Frankly , there are three things that kept me away from blogging daily - I , Me and Shakthi . I really would not want to blame anything /person other than me for this long absence . Let us just say that I was caught up in the grind and right next to the stone =) There were issues that needed solutions and there were issues without solutions . For most part I was lost balancing work and life . I almost got lost in the commotion to the point that no one could hear me screaming out for peace (including my own self) . But now things are standing at a stage where if I dont find it , I will pretty soon self destruct into a million pieces and no one will even remember that I was here . Yes the scene is that bad . Let me express that thought in detail below

There are two things that are bugging me , I am at a stage at work where if I miss a Sunday , pple ask me why and if I get to work on a saturdady at 11:00 am , I am late !! There you go , you think I am making it up , but really my dear reader , that is true as will my 400 other colleagues vouch . I guess the cost of greatness is immeasurable if you try to sit down and measure it . I guess that is why we never know much about the personal lives of Gary Sobers , Sachin Tendulkar , Rahul Dravid et al , do they have one ? are they happy ? Well answers might differ and be outside the scope of this blog , but one thing I have learnt is There is work till you die and hence you dont die for work . I know that I sound like a pessimist , I assure you that I am not . Just battle bruised beyond repair and not ready for the next one that is just around the corner inevitable lurking to hit me when I am not looking .

Coming to the more familiar turf of my personal life , I have succeeded in pissing off every single family member that I care about and putting them under pressure to make things work . I am sorry about that , it is beyond my control now . I am going MAD . Running a family is easy only when you have sane elders around you . If you have pple whose minds are going like a yo-yo then you are finished buried and forgotten . I respectfully ask my spiteful elders to spare me the painful daily life I am having now and help me to live like a man . Please guys , let me live . I dont want to go bonkers yet . I have only my wife and son for support now . Without them , I will definitely be writing this from a mental asylum .

Why do elders forget their life when it comes to the way they treat us ; why are things not clear to them when they hurt us bad for silly things ? Is this why you brought me up ? Well thanks !! You did a swell job , just that I am crying in pain daily . Wake up before I change and I dont wanna change now

Oh and before I forget , Hello Biju , how was the buttermilk break ? good ?

Man ! My kingdom for a few moments of peace in life !!!

Spl thanks to Cucumber , Monty , Bond , Potter , Mickey , Daft Punk , Neha and Nishita , they are the people who are helping me to not go mad now

Thanks guys !!

Dear Reader , I promise my next post will be positive , stay with me on this one

Mom , the best word in any language

2008-02-13T17:12:00.002+05:30

Mom is a nice word in any language .You can hear of a bad bro , bad sis , bad friends , bad Sanjay or even a bad Dad but never of a bad Mom . Coming to think of it , just mention that word to anyone and the only thing that comes to anybody in a flash is good memories , unless they are an aberration to nature .

Like everybody , I too like everything about my mom, she is the single source of all the cocksureness and the confidence that I have in me now .She taught me a lot of things , the best of them is that it is not worth it to get worried and have a long face about anything in life .When you frown nobody frowns with you , when you smile atleast one person joins you in that smile.When I was growing up , she had to work all seven days a week to support me . Yes , all seven days .And she did that with a smile , never a frown .The number of days out of the seven that she did overtime just to get the money to buy me something was also very high .And believe me I am yet to see anybody go through so much trouble for somebody else .I got to meet her every sunday , as I was growing up with my Grandma in my aunt's place .I still remember my eagerness to meet her every week and happiness in every toffee and biscuit she bought for me .She had HUGE expectations about how I would become a great success story in life and how I would take care of her after I make it big .She was the reason why I am where I am today .She could have easily moved her attentions to another kid and let fate handle me .She dint , she stood with me in every good and bad thing that happened to me .The number of times she was on fast for my health is amazingly high .That is a tough act to follow .

After I got older and got myself into more trouble like all sons do , she still stood with me , like a rock .

I know that I have dissapointed her in many ways at many occasions , I know that it is not sufficient to say this , but , "I am sorry Mom "

My Brother Subbu

2007-11-20T02:12:00.001+05:30

Friends , life throws a lot of things at you as it flies past .Not all of them are pleasant .Very rarely you get a gift that you cherish.My Team has been such a gift , they are more like my brothers who feel everything with me .And part of that band of brothers is a witty and slightly insane guy called Subbu.The streak of insanity is needed for the level maturity that he has and without that lght madness , you will not see him in true light .

First time I met him , hee was standing behin Vijay H , twisting his arms in nervousness , he had been given a raw deal and fitted into a team.Well the fit was like "The Rock" being recruited for Java coding :) .You can see the fit !! .When I saw him more closely , he was an honest guy with no pretensions .I gave him a shot at shooting his ex bosses and my word ! He was like Butch Cassidy :) Totally pumped up .

The good thing about Subbu is that he knows his limits and rarely tests them , well the bad thing about him is also the same , he never explores anything new .

On this trip to Atlanta , he is with me , helping me with everything and even cooking for me .

Believe me nit many people will be as open as he is , but still be closed , he is a puzzle that I am trying to crack now .Or may be he is a crack !!!

He has exactly the same amount of madness that I have and that makes us family .You need mad people to have fun and imagine a world full of sane guys .

It will be like Microsoft -->boring . My understanding of his thinking process is now better after I have heard his snoring for 15 days !!

He is a very very very very very very close person to me , much closer than any of my brothers got so far .

Let us see when he goes mad .

Subbu , everything ok , but blazer yaake ??

Atlanta Calling

2007-11-20T01:48:00.000+05:30

I have now settled into a rhythm in Atlanta and I am trying to get to terms with the lifestyle and other things here .But believe me , potatoes and eggs with pork for breakfast daily , well ,,, life leaves a lot to be desired . But the excellent accesibility and me being on par with everybody else in terms of going anywhere and being able to do anything , that beats everything else that aint good .

I also have a new friend now , a Samsung NV 15 10 Megapixel canera that can capture vivid images everywhere , even without me straining to .

Coming to the point , most of my old friends think I am a thiief and most of my new friends think I am a Demi-God . What am I ? I am good old trinity . I , Me and Shakthi .

I miss you India , I miss Idli Vada and Dosa . I miss the HUGE crowd of friends . I miss Susmita , Mahanthesh , Rajesh , Jags and all of the others. I miss my daliy routine .But you know what I miss the most ----> Hema and Hari !! I miss them terribly and I am praying that I see them soon or go mad

see ya soon.

Comin soon ... A total revamp !!!

2007-06-01T21:31:00.001+05:30

Watch this space for the new me , very soon !!

The best is yet to come !!!

Very Very Very Soon !!!

Stay with me .

Be here or be square !!!

A very creditable and credible set of measures indeed !

2007-05-03T15:28:00.001+05:30

I am talking about the IT and BPO industries in Bangalore offering special packages to encourage women employees to make their work more comfortable and easy .What we have to acknowledge and accept is the fact that the tightrope that working women walk on a daily basis is remarkably stress-ridden and unforgiving at times .

They are expected to balance every aspect of both family and office lives completely and ensure that they are always smiling and pleasant .This I think stems out of the deep rooted MCPism that our society was immersed in till not so long ago .

We need to see and understand the fact that women get a raw deal most of the time in a male dominated social set up.It is nice to see that things like the topic of the video below are happening and I only sincerely hope that all my women colleagues get their fair share of everything .

See the video below to understand what I am talking about

A thought provoking excerpt from a friend's blog - disturbed me a lot

2007-04-20T13:52:00.001+05:30

A
politician is an individual who is a formally recognized and active
member of a government, or a person who influences the way a society is
governed through an understanding of political power and group
dynamics. But do you think Politicians any means conform to the
definition? The meaning of is to look for the people without
really thinking of his own. One who lives for the people, elected by
the people and serves to the people can be termed as a representative.
But where can you really find the link between today's politicians and
the one in the books as definition or the meaning. You can anybody and
all will tell that politicians are worthless. I am not here to tell the
same to you. I want to tell you it's we who are worthless. Even if I or
any of you be a politician, you will be the exact photocopy of today's
politician. You know why? We don't have courage to be truthful, honest
and tell the truth. Same is the case with me. But I want to be truthful
at least in this blog.

It's
all about the system. We all know that we want our child to take birth
in a nursing home. So we have money to spend and hence admit to a well
recognized nursing home. There you go. So Govt. hospitals that are
authorized to serve people's health is not opted for. So the doctors
out there will suggest you to go to a nursing home. And we also go. Now
the same an ordinary people whose monthly income is 1,000 Rs. can't
afford. It leads to degradation of Govt. Hospitals
and inflation (astronomical) of medical costs. Can't we admit our wives
to Govt. Hospitals and fight for better facilities and doctors. That
time we are selfish and while blaming others we shout. Isn't it a
mockery of us?

Next
will be our education. Best school (private, English medium), best
private tutor (preferably from the school) and pay high to get the
leaked notes, question paper. Why? We don't want our children to be
educated rather we want them to earn huge money so that they can give
money at our old ages. This leads to degradation of education system,
unfair examination system and incapable future. What they will study?
Education imbibes enlightenment which can bring knowledge, power,
thinking judging skills and to decide what to do. But if the
pampered sons/daughters of riches be the IAS/IPS/Politicians/Govt.
Employees/Doctors/Engineers/IT professionals what more we can expect?

"Sunshine
shows the day"-So what does this shows? Will anybody among them will
think for the downtrodden or will go on similar lines as their parents
did to make him successful (paying high donations during admissions to
higher education, tuition fees use references to get into reputed
MNC's/high govt. jobs). Life is a full waste of them as they can't
think they don't know what is life? Never read any science still their
degree and job shows a lot. How can you expect them to do something for
the nation/human civilization when their society taught them to be
selfish to gain more wealth, power, love (sex, glamour and not love)
and attention? He will never know the struggle of a farmer to reap a
grain of rice which he's leaving off every day in his plate. He will
never know the sufferings of those for which he's so comfortable in his
life (A.C, flat, car, mobile).

During
employment we are either doing useless, clerical white colored
work which is mundane, repetitive and non-creative jobs else we will
grew up as a manager to exploit/drink blood of others only to make
somebody more rich. Their billion crore asset is increased by 1 million
so take .001% of the amount (we give more to our pet dogs).

"Do
everything to make your baby lead a happy life"- So what needs to be
done? buy 3 cars for 2 people contributing to pollution and increasing
cost decreasing attention public transport, auto/taxi's
in deciding destination fare and higher prices of fuel
(demand-supply methodology) with more traffic jam. So we give a world
of selfishness, unprecedented usage of natural resources, pollution and
a perverted mind full of anger, frustration, greed, division w.r.t
money, status, power and never nurture the true humanity, ethics,
morale values, soft senses.

Do
we realize the same, do any introspection or feel regret/guilty or
understand consequences or ever try to think to revert the progress of
humanity to utmost destruction unknowingly? Life is short. Even if you
realize (self-realization or forced) do we have the courage to do
something or have the clarity of what to do? I think we have it when we
are at death beds which are expected in 60-70 yrs of age. So let's
think it before the realities of life, the raw truth hit our
consciences hard enough to our lives miserable.

(Thanks to Tirtha Dey )

Now I start :

/>Do u agree with this?

Have we become like this ?

I will post my thoughts tommorow

Falling apart

2007-04-20T11:20:00.001+05:30

That summarizes what I am going through and why I haven't been posting lately .

A lot of things have been going wrong , very very wrong .And I am trying to grapple with the facts of facing the after effects of a few wrong decisions , very wrong decisions.And not helping it further are a series of unfortunate happenings at home and personal life ...

My Dear Reader , I am at the crossroads now , I think I am looking at it now , a Mid Life Crisis .Yes , I think I am having it now .

Hasty decisions often prove to be costly and in my case that is happening .One of the most important things that you need to be at peace with is where you execute your daily business of earning a livelihood.I urge all of you to put enuf due diligence into the process of selecting the place .Because sometimes , it turns out that the place is great , absolutely fantastico ! and you too are nothing short of a genius , but put together the combination does not yield results .Meaning that the equations sucks at both ends .And when that happens , daily life becomes a drone and that can kill your mind , body and soul very painfully .

The next thing I want to tell you is about the most misunderstood word in the software industry ; a Performance Improvement Plan .Well at face value , you think that this is a plan to improve your performance .It is not ! It is just a heads up and notification to start looking out .If you take actual numbers , the number of people who actually come out successful from a PIP is dismally low .Why ? Here is what I think .Although the intentions are there .The execution matters a lot .And the way these PIP are executed are very far from professional/desirable.There are various ways in which they are executed ; one of the most popular ones is the method of assigning a simple but impossible task to be completed in a week.For example : Move to UCM in the next week ! .

The next popular method is the hounding method .Here the boss chooses a hound ( a person/colleague) and asks him to start hounding the guy in PIP.The objective hound him to the extent that he throws up his arms and goes by himself , a win-win !

I must say that both these methods do not aim at improving performance but at making the guy quit and they invariably work all the time .I am telling you as an Engineer and a Manager .They work damn well !

One side , we go crying wolf that people are hopping like rabbits across companies and that retention is the eternal challenge .On the other end we have HR chiefs reading through all your work from home mails to count the number of days where it looks less than 8 hrs so that it becomes half a day off !! Then there are the band of mouthies m the folks who work with their mouths and cannot stand people who work with their brains and hands .It is amazing how the mouthies often find management favor easier than the real techies .The just sail along after that .No worries !!

We are going to a world where you can pull out your mobile phone and say "restaurants" and it shows you a list of restaurants based on a profile of your likings and preferences and even your budget .Then it goes on to download the route to your selection into your car after booking a parking slot and a table for you .If it is a long drive , you can order and the e-wallet on your phone pays for you while you are getting there .

To make this happen , we need to keep the Human Resources human and not turn them into zombies .Encourage and foster trust and try and make them belong and not report to you .Ahh ! Utopia !! Where is it ?

3652 days (roughly)

2007-03-30T10:10:00.001+05:30

That is the number of wonderful days that I have been married.This 26th was my tenth anniversary and looking back : I have absolutely no regrets and only great feelings about it .

All credit to my wife for putting up with a cranky , at times pesky guy like me and smiling right through! Let me tell you a little more .

Here are some of the important roles Hema plays for me .

When I am angry - Pacifier
When I am sad - Supporter
When I am lost - Guide
When I am winning - Fan
When I am losing - Coach
When I am crying - with me
When I am smiling - with me
When I am down - Motivator
When I am confused - Friend
When I need one - A shoulder
When I am tired - A refresher
When I am funny - the audience
When I am gross - the punisher
When I am over sleeping - the waker
When I am undersleeping - the admonisher

And I could go on and on .....

There is another side to the whole deal ; it is not very easy to be 24x7 with one person unless the understanding and camaraderie are right up there and that is the key for a successful married life .

The other unique thing about your spouse is that he/she is the only person who is goin to go the full long haul with you and be there always .From that angle if your spouse does not vibe with you , you are in for it ! I have been extremely lucky to get the perfect foil for me as my spouse .I dunno how much of that is true from her point of view .But for me ; Life just got better and better and better after marriage .She has this uncanny knack to read my face and understand what went on the last 6 hours ! That saves a lot of talking and energy .She knows when I am pissed and plays down .She knows when I am wrong and plays up .Well , a fair mix of both !

They say that souls are created in pairs and the lucky ones meet and get married .I would like to think that I am one such lucky soul .

Down the line ; despite the fact that hereditary diabetes was holding her down and making life tough , she went through hell to give me the best gift so far ! My Son Hari ! I can't even think of life before Hari now .That is the impact he has had on our lives .

I must say that I am looking forward to atleast another 100 years of this !

Hema : u are the best !

Idiots on International Media !!

2007-03-22T12:29:00.001+05:30

Satinder Bindra is the idiot that I am talking about .I caught him yday on CNN talking about the prevalent caste problem in India and its effects.He did a whole bunch of things that got my blood boiling .

First up : He talks crap in a crappy accent , and is very evident that he know NOTHING or close to NOTHING about India.He went on and on and on about things that he had no idea about .

The first time I saw him on CNN was in 99 I think , he was just in and did a piece on Bill Gates and Melinda Gates donating to AIDS funds in India and I must say that he is , over the years , consistently ridiculous to say the least .Back then , he said "The richest man is in the poorest country " to describe Gates' visit .Well even after a Tsunami hit us , India was the only country that "refused" categorically to accept any aid from the US.The next thing is , you study in a delhi school so long ago and run away to Canada to suck up to a dollar paying job , come back , become delhi bureau chief and say whatever you want ? But , isnt news about the truth and not what you think ?

He went to completely stupid levels when he spoke about Abhijit Sawant the Indian Idol winner , being a lower caste guy who struggled a lot to get to the top.And how he was the only lower caste guy to do it in 50 years .Wake up Satinder !! You are talking passee and crape here , absolutely no sense in it.He talks about priests still being the most powerful people in India.Now ; APJ Abdul Kalam , The Ambanis , Tatas , Ruias , Birlas , Narayan Moorthy : which of these is a priest ?

He was talking about how even in school the lower caste students are discriminated ; well I was in school a long time ago , and even back then ; I dint know which caste who was , so what is this fool talking about ?

His partner in the telecast ; was someone called "Anjali Rao" , but called herself AAnjali Rave !! Tsk Tsk another american desi !!.She was interviewing Satinder to find out about India !!! What can be a better statement than that .Irritating and completely foolish to say the least .I can't bear it anymore .We need to fix these sons and daughters of India who are lost in the act of being "accomplished global Indians" .Or they better cancel their citizenship , it is simple , will any american talk about america in the third person and talk crap abt his nation .Wel , he wont .Then why my dear Satinder and Anjali , are you two guys being totally stupid ? What is the point ? Are u looking for CNN to pat you and make you Global bureau chief ? Well wake up and smell the salt !! It aint happenin .

Satinder went on about inter-caste marriages being the only solution and how they are being prevented by the political parties .Hey , I have been married to a brahmin girl for the past 10 years and havent seen any party trying to ruin my life yet !

Let us look at what are Satinder's accomplishments .

I am still looking !! Couldn't find much there , other than the fact that he went first to London and later became a Canadian citizen (which technically makes him a deserter) .

And finally a note to CNN and the other broadcasters ; India is not just full of half clad kids playing on dirty roads .We write 90% of the brainy things that run the world.Please stop the "hut by the road with semi naked kids dancing" reports on India .We buy more Coke and Pepsi than the rest of Europe and Asia put together for Gods Sake !!

Satinder , quit the job and get back to school , you are under qualified !!

Yours Truly

An Irate Genuine Indian

Learning to say no

2007-03-21T13:47:00.001+05:30

Today , I feel like writing about the most important thing that needs to be learnt.The fine art of saying "No".Sometimes it is easy , sometimes it aint , the problem is that it is easy to say no to things or people that you dont like , when it is the otherway round , it is kinda tuf .You see , life is full of scenarios where you have to refuse things that you like.That is a true test of the ability in objectivity .

A lot of people just don't like the idea of having to tell people they can't do something. Or they feel obligated when a colleague asks a favour; or feel pressurised when someone senior to them needs something done.

There are even some work places where saying no is definitely frowned upon; and in, say, the police force, could be a sackable or disciplinary offence.

After having worked for some time with people where saying no either feels impossible or just isn't allowed, we created a body of work to address it. In some cases it is indeed, how to say no without ever saying the word.

Of course, there are times when saying the 'n' word is a necessity. But in our experience, there is so much anxiety around the possible consequences of using it, that people don't say anything at all, or agree to things they'd rather not, or get landed with work that isn't theirs and so on.

That can't be good for anyone, but especially the person who finds themselves staying late at the end of the day to get their own work done after they've finished everyone else's; or who swallows their resentment when they are 'volunteered' for something they don't want to do; or who quakes at the idea of having to be a bit tougher with a supplier or even someone they manage.

You must learn when and how to say “no” if you really want to accelerate your career. Because so long as you say “yes” to every request for your time and talent, you are allowing your friends and associates to consume your most precious asset–your time–to serve their agendas rather than advancing your own.

I know. It not easy to say “no.” “Yes” gives you that warm and fuzzy feeling. Your ego is really stroked when you are asked to lend your abilities to solve someone else’s needs. You become convinced that you are the only one who can do the job. You believe that taking on more and more assignments is the road to success. You are reluctant (i.e. afraid) to use “no” with your boss.

Resist those chronic complainers who want to burn up your time telling you about their problems and asking you to hold their hand or intercede on their behalf. It’s okay to be Mr. Nice Guy for a brief time. But when that role begins to cut into your productive time, gently and firmly put a stop to it.

By learning to say “no” when necessary you make more time to say “yes” for those tasks that accelerate your career.

If you are fully overloaded and your saying “no” doesn’t get relief, perhaps it’s time to look for a more accommodating environment.

The (only) other Dharan

2007-03-13T12:31:00.001+05:30

I wanted to write about someone who is as close to me as anyone can get.He grew up with me .We have played , fought , studied , travelled and freaked out together a lot .It is kinda tough to trace back on my first memory of him.The earliest I remember is that of a three year old who was still sipping milk from a feeding bottle , and at that age he was going to school.The reason: I needed company to go to school.I am talking about my brother Sashidharan.The only other Dharan at home !

The Age difference between us is about 3 years , but I never even once remember calling him the "little one" or him calling me "Anna" .We were and will always be buddies on a first name basis .That is what I like about our relationship the most.It is mostly a no formalities very straightforward and fun thing.No fancy stuff there .

We two were "THE two annas " for all the other kids .But between us , you would probably not see better buddies .There is an uncanny rhythm about us.We can kinda see what the other sees very easily.That comes from the many years of growing up together at Sabapathy Street in Chennai.

There are many many moments that I treasure of the time we spent growing up.The most precious of them would be the time when we were at school and used to commute to and fro by rickshaw .One evening , I was playing with my friends and the rickshaw arrived .In the spirit of the game I asked the rickshaw guy to wait for a few mins and he hastily left.Only to return after two hours or so .This meant that we reached home very late .Sashi was all set to go earlier itself , he stayed back as I had .And when we arrived at home , one of our uncles(dont want to name him here ) decides to discpline us and takes out a stick and actually beat us up very severely.This guy(Sash) went thro with it just for stickin by me .I felt thoroughly terrible for that.The after effects of that day were many , not within the scope of this posting .One of the good ones was that I knew I had a trustworthy guy around me always .

We almost always went to the same school , except for the last two years of my schooling where I went to a different school due to unavoidable reasons.This meant that we spent roughly 10 years 24x7 with each other during the school days .

When it was time for us to go for our first movie without elders , We went together .I remember the movie : "Ghostbusters".We took along a whole contingent of kids (about 10 of us) and the onus of management was on me and Sash .We did a great job ! That was fun too .

The many many cricket matches we played at home , where one of us invariably was cheating (Sash more often :)) and ended up quarreling and deciding not to talk to each other for the rest of our lives ; invariably "no-talk" dint last more than an hour max .

Almost every vacation that I have been to any parts outside Chennai was with him.

As we grew up into fine young men (ahem!) , there wasnt anything that we dint talk about .Then after school Sash decided that he wanted to Engineering , (incidentally , me too !!) .After Engineering , I chose a different path and he preferred doing his masters in the US .

Well before that I got married to Hema (ofcourse you know that by now!).I remember how genuinely happy he was for me and how active he was at my wedding.But like they say , as men become husbands and then fathers , they cease to be boys , and our respective careers and other duties have made us kinda far from each other (we are on different sides of the earth now .This means just that , we are far away , but whenever we do catch up , tis always fun! .

Did I tell you that he is very good with the guitar ? He is !

Sash , miss you man !!!