Cyberarted

Incorporating Yourself Ode

2009-02-25T00:35:00.000-08:00

You could save hundreds of dollars.
Many worldwide wifes who yearned for hers -
Sometimes you amazed with her frightening colors
Turning, expecing to hear murmers and burres

By incorporating yourself without a lawyer.
And I am the great one of the ones.
He was found one morning, dead, in the foyer -
Time, like everything else is never out done.

How? Is it advisable to do so?
Well I don't know, but I'll be stumping for bounties
It is possible to form a corporation law
And chase it across the mounties.

This is NOT legal advice!
Still the warbles sing in the springtime...
And spitting out hair lice
But doing that without dime.

The only ones who should be giving legal advice,
The walls have ears, and there are hands on the clock.
One furry kitten forever eating the rotting mice -
I went to the bathroom, and pulled down my jock.

Are those licensed to practise law?
I must struggle to wipe off all this gel!
Through the window I recently saw
It do make my mind for to bogel.

In other words, only lawyers
Are like green sturgeon rising to the mountain top.
Life is like a big trash full of flowers,
Like dark sheeps that just a crop...

This article is not legal advice.
And spits the seeds in others' faces,
And yellow penguins began to carve the ice,
And her misdemeanors leaves no trace...

If you need legal advice, consult a lawyer.
Then suddenly he robbed car and left
Him was found one morning, drunk, and the voyeur
Of fantastical rows - he was lucky theft.

It is possible to form a corporation or
Whether or not a grumpy feather swells not.
I ate too much pizza and wanted more -
For my mind never is changed, but body's always hot.

Limited liability company without a lawyer?
Or maybe they feel as if the were large kegs?
He was found one morning, happy, and the destroyer
Did so. I tripped. I broke all my legs.

Why Use a Lawyer? First of all,
Is where I went, alone in my escape?
Sweating and wondering, "Will someone call?"
Finding, suddenly, a roll of sticky tape.

If you make a mistake incorporating yourself -
Hey, it always all counts.
I play special games with myself,
I'll crack open my skull, give a manly grunt.

who do you sue? You only have yourself to blame.
Blasting out your skin, I would surpise
Bladed screwdriver stucked in your brain...
You can soar as the sun will rise

On the other hand, a lawyer has insurance -
Cover him with honey, and let the ants feast.
Insurance is dorm of self-reassurance!
Smoke him better, I'll be back for breakfast!

To cover errors and omissions
Go back and bury face in smoothy loins!
In that sunflavored condition
Folks think so nasty throwing coins.

Secondly, you could benefit
The lonely cobra, she has no fur...
My mind is twisting after such discomfit
I would not skin her, for she has very little blur.

From the expertise of your lawyer.
I open my mouth, mocking your sipping
He was found one morning, dead, in the foyer
And will split the binding!

Perhaps a corporation isn`t the right vehicle
Like all good smallish slugs,
Funny Clown, bunch of balloons miracle
I mixed it all up in an Australian rug

For you under your circumstances. Be aware -
He dances round the square with gleed - not greed.
Do you have any change you can spare?
The cry! I fear, no one gave heed.

That there can be disadvantages as well as advantages
Cover her mouth and bite her neck!
Can my heart, my body, my soul contain my rage?
My ciruits are overloaded, but I'll try write up check.

To incorporating... Your lawyer can consider commercial law,
The cheaper one would be more preferable!
Revealing a most salient flaw
Never understanding completely, mind isn't pliable...

Securities legislation, limited liability...
As mass defenestration comes back into style.
Towards the syntax of your romance and divinity -
My ciruits are overloaded, but I'll try to do it next time.

Tax factors, estate planning, share structure...
Can we change the big tide???
My path is yet crossed by the lowly Moose of Failure.
Therefore this Lady we did hide...

And a myriad of other business considerations.
However it will cause a nice contusion
Whose pistils are worn from the corporation,
Post cereal dibbling fusion...

Sometimes the advice of a good lawyer
Will weld the majestic snow...
And I said you were no vouyer,
I wish I was in Delaware, right about now.

Can save you thousands of dollars
Critical outfits subcultured in shame?
Brown eye leaks brown tears,
But no one ever is to blame.

Is it advisable to incorporate yourself?
I fled to my own bedroom palace!
Blame it on oil shelf
Where winter sheds snow to hide disgrace fallos.

Is it advisable to perform surgery on yourself?
With a ringing in my ears, like the humming of the bees?
These days, I just can't help myself
Coughing and choking longing to be free.

It is illegal to perform surgery on someone
But survey, with scratching, is easy to slough...
Who would've thought the feeling gun
But thou art mortal, mighty fellatio.

Else unless you are licensed to practise medicine,
Enjoy the sun and summer breeze!
I poured upon it caramel, but decided then
That it came out like a nice warm cheese.

But perhaps in a wilderness survival scenario
That feeds on turbulent emotions in stillness of air
Tippy-toe, tippy-toe, I know where was empire
When is this ranting to end!? Yes I declair.

Self-surgery might be your only option,
And the gorilla sat drinking tea.
Whoever taught you thermometer adoption
The ceremony of innocence is drowned throught the sea.

However, is performing surgery on yourself
Really good like something under orange peel?
It sleeps like a chair upon lost elf
The cookies of poverty, how does it feel?

Really a good idea in most instances?
You've got big but bad sound!
With nine lives a kitten dies but once -
Just wanted to return to the burial mound.

Likewise, just because it is possible to
Thunder through thier sewing hands.
Stupid thing, what do you do ?
The fat ugly moose lay in the sand.

Incorporate yourself without a lawyer,
Linking wonderous worlds of free expression...
His estate was, you see, due to his vouyer
Like ignorance, rage and agression.

Doesn't mean it is always a good idea!
Like climbing a purple tree.
Reality is a staircase leading nowhere
Looking at the sky is better, I agree...

In some jurisdictions, only lawyers can
To do exercise in mass poetry.
They must now eat meals out of a can
When those words are known by xmas tree.

Incorporate others! For a paralegal or other person
I'd like to substitute dirt for food
In the wonderful lands of Bitch-son.
Oh God this poem's getting good...

To incorporate a company for you could be considered
But it could be your spirit guide...
Pleasing the winds of angry red
And if, by rules, you choose not to abide

Unauthorized practise of law. Thus, it may be legal
Good. A hand from above reached down.
And things are not always as they appear,
And in its wake there lacks a worthy crown

To incorporate yourself but not others.
Put the melon in the fire, were making more...
Well, sort of like their uncles, fathers
Venturing out to find what was in store!

Some factors you might consider are:
Neither double comparitive prawn
Nor bastard alone has looked on beauty bare,
Its foot dared cross the line, once drawn...

Am I really that short of cash that I can't spend
If my toes should slide between your cheeks.
For I and my can need make amends
As the sun gently caresses the milky skin of geek.

The extra money for good legal advice that may -
Good thing you don't live down under.
But why is it? And is it anyways?
Throw them in the fire to smolder...

Save me thousands of dollars? Am I confident?
The mind screwdriver, stuck it in my brain!
And other lunchroom lucky condiments
Like piano stuffed with carcasses you came.

That my situation is one that really doesn't need,
And stop this majestic cow!
For in her belly he wants to put some seeds -
No, Jesus he was not, nor was he Love.

The services of a lawyer to incorporate? Can the money
Only with great restraint to not flog her?
The air was frosty fresh and tasted of honey...
Would it catch that glimpse for?

Saved on legal fees be better utilized in financing
And the espadrilles, once defenestrated
Are damn. Those fruit flies are balancing...
The butter is funny melted...

Other aspects of my business? Each person will have
To be realistic, but no masochistic
Sitting on a corncob the maiden weaves -
Good corns do not go ballistic...

To make their own decision on whether or not,
Although some rain would be so good.
It will be as useless as a chocolate tea pot...
The storm of rotting rised its mood.

To seek the services of a lawyer in forming a corporation
Grin and don't get involved in life!
That coke bottle is way past expiration -
They prefer own shoelace over god wife.

He who has himself as a lawyer has a fool,
Or should I just call you Dirty Garry?
Before it stained the tailored wool
The soldiers on both sides fought in frenzied flurry

For a client. I have often thought that perhaps a law firm
Waltzing in selzter cries out without spite.
The tiny mouse can make the elephant squirm
And quoth the raven, "Buy more Sprite".

Originated this common expression. How To Incorporate Yourself?
As we awakened to the smell of freshly cooked bacon
It sleeps like a chair upon a blonde shelf -
It has three cross dressed foolss and a con!

Many books have been written by lawyers
And they said again "Who's next?"
Washing wet army boots of dead soldiers
On the wonders of overlapping text

On how to incorporate yourself. Forms, corporate supplies,
A feeling that somewhere there's something I've missed.
Put burger to the bun as the chocolate milk shake cries,
Their gift certificate, lottery tickets she kissed...

Name searches, and kits are available from legal stationers.
Dig it, digits, digital, digitalis...
Life is like a big jail, full of prisoners.
They bumped noses against a big chrysalis.

In the United States, there are likewise many manuals...
I guess I gave 'em one hell of a ride.
I'd like to stand with red animals
When I heard about State Widowed Bride.

Available for incorporating yourself in various states.
They'll contemplate a barbecque lime.
And barrows of sprung fabric, scintillate!
Ciruits are overloaded, but try to do better next time...

"Incorporating Your Business For Dummies" by company
That sprinkled it with coriander as it was rather bland.
Funny clowns, bunch of balloons and pony -
The still beating heart of civilization in our hand.

Corporation and "How To Form Your Own Corporation"...
That's the question to estimate brain!
So why does their smiles melt with concentration?
Time flies like an arrow. Life flies like a plane.

Without a Lawyer for Under Seventy Five Dollars?
The day breaks with hands - I pour bowl of surreal...
Sometimes they amaze me with frightening collars,
And the morning sun rose as I shot it with gun of oatmeal.

Sometimes helpful information on this subject
Someones can ever tell what's under the sheets...
Be careful there is a list of side effects
Otherwise you'll bite own feet.

Is available from federal, provincial and state
For our own hands seldom rot
Heap loads of coleslaw onto your plate.
And I'm glad to see what I got.

Governments for free or nominal cost! You can
Shot all ghosts that have begun humming.
And it's always interrupted by the man
And pretty ladies you have been coming.

Sometimes locate incorporation manuals at your local
Unyielding path that's yet crossed by the Right Failure.
War - Peace, Black - White, Unspoken - Vocal...
All go away, mask answers, hides its cure.

Library for free. Be careful - legal manuals become
Kind of like a weird malfunctioning droid.
Even Gods decided to fork out and buy some
Viagra pills to strengthen muscle solenoid.

Outdated very rapidly - you might consider
That all the fools were shouted here!
Your master ate from dish, becoming wilder,
And reality is just rolling gear.

Very seriously purchasing the most up-to-date manual?
Feel their loving, moving, sticky just to use!
Staircase is reality that writting annual
Reports with ebb and flow of silky love and juice.

Available! It might also include helpful reference
To seconds that well up at the gates of furry.
Drink whole bottle and make little difference -
At least you weren't on the God Jury...

Material on maintaining corporate minutes
Was seemed to seeds to grow own rainbows...
It's going to hell, and that's its route!
It met bee queen, she said "Hello!"

And other helpful suggestions on operating your corporation
Is like pollen flew free and have been sneezed.
Please don't crap on my weight loss pills nation -
It came out like a nice warm breeze...

Buy the appropriate manual and supplies and then
Be like him waited, teeth bared, tin,
Where are the hells in my glasses, when?
Eat your carrets or you'll get nothing.

Follow the instructions. With a little effort
And too big half of pint of slurry
One who hasn't built around them a stone fort
Made more for skin care and furry.

You could save hundreds of dollars
For the Earth turned the hours faded.
Nothing to launder the backs of your collars
For that which you have graded...

Incorporating yourself without a lawyer -
Am I the great one of the big ones?
They were found one morning, laughting, in foyer -
Smile, like everything else is never out done...

How To Incorporate Yourself Without A Lawyer

You could save hundreds of dollars by incorporating yourself without a lawyer. How? Is it advisable to do so?

1. This is Not Legal Advice!

The only ones who should be giving legal advice are those licensed to practise law (in other words, only lawyers). This article is not legal advice. If you need legal advice, consult a lawyer.

This article is being written simply to inform you that it is possible to form a corporation or limited liability company without a lawyer.

2. Why Use a Lawyer?

First of all, if you make a mistake incorporating yourself, who do you sue? You only have yourself to blame. On the other hand, a lawyer has insurance to cover errors and omissions.

Secondly, you could benefit from the expertise of your lawyer. Perhaps a corporation isn`t the right vehicle for you under your circumstances. Be aware that there can be disadvantages as well as advantages to incorporating. Your lawyer can consider commercial law, securities legislation, limited liability, tax factors, estate planning, share structure, and a myriad of other business considerations. Sometimes the advice of a good lawyer can save you thousands of dollars.

3. Is it Advisable to Incorporate Yourself?

Is it advisable to perform surgery on yourself? It is illegal to perform surgery on someone else unless you are licensed to practise medicine, but perhaps in a wilderness survival scenario, self-surgery might be your only option. However, is performing surgery on yourself really a good idea in most instances?

Likewise, just because it is possible to incorporate yourself without a lawyer doesn`t mean it is always a good idea.

In some jurisdictions, only lawyers can incorporate others. For a paralegal or other person to incorporate a company for you could be considered unauthorized practise of law. Thus, it may be legal to incorporate yourself but not others.

Some factors you might consider are: Am I really that short of cash that I can`t spend the extra money for good legal advice that may save me thousands of dollars? Am I confident that my situation is one that really doesn`t need the services of a lawyer to incorporate? Can the money saved on legal fees be better utilized in financing other aspects of my business?

Each person will have to make their own decision on whether or not to seek the services of a lawyer in forming a corporation.

"He who has himself as a lawyer has a fool for a client." I have often thought that perhaps a law firm originated this common expression.

4. How To Incorporate Yourself

Many books have been written by lawyers on how to incorporate yourself.

For example, in Canada, M. Stephen Georgas, LL.B., has written books on the subject of forming your own corporation. Published by International Self-Counsel Press Ltd., he has authored "Incorporation and Business Guide for Ontario" ("How to form your own corporation Includes tax advantages to incorporating") and "Federal Incorporation And Business Guide" ("How to form your own Federal corporation under The Canada Business Corporations Act").

The same publisher sells forms and minute books as well as titles for incorporating in other provinces of Canada.

Forms, corporate supplies, name searches, and kits are available from legal stationers and other sources.

In the United States, there are likewise many manuals available for incorporating yourself in various states. "Incorporating Your Business For Dummies" by The Company Corporation and "How To Form Your Own Corporation Without a Lawyer for Under $75.00" by Ted Nicholas are two such books.

Sometimes helpful information on this subject is available from federal, provincial and state governments for free or nominal cost.

You can sometimes locate incorporation manuals at your local library for free. Be careful. Legal manuals become outdated very rapidly. You might consider very seriously purchasing the most up-to-date manual available; it might also include helpful reference material on maintaining corporate minutes and other helpful suggestions on operating your corporation.

Buy the appropriate manual and supplies and then follow the instructions. With a little effort, you could save hundreds of dollars incorporating yourself without a lawyer.

J. Stephen Pope, President of Pope Consulting Inc., has been helping clients to earn maximum business profits for over twenty-five years. To learn more about incorporating yourself and other profitable Work at Home Small Business Ideas, visit http://www.yenommarketinginc.com/incorporation.html.

Is Painkiller A Headache Poem?

2008-12-10T08:05:00.000-08:00

What is the first thing you do when you sense...
Life is short, drink wine and don't be sorry!
And the scent of the sense of presence
Is just soldier of both sides of worry.

Are Your Painkillers Giving You A Headache?

What is the first thing you do when you sense an impending headache? If you are like the majority of Americans, you reach for the closest bottle of over the counter or prescription pain killers and bolt some down automatically. Sometimes you may even be taking a pain killer in advance frequently or even daily, in order to stave off chronic headaches or because you are anticipating a stressful situation ahead.

Did you see yourself in of those descriptions? Then take a minute and think about your headaches. Is there a pattern? Do seem to have become more frequent and more intense with time, requiring medication more often than before? If yes, then most likely you are suffering from what are called rebound headaches, which are simply medication overuse headaches.

Coffee drinkers experience something similar. That first shot of coffee heads off the niggling beginnings of a headache. Each day you need that shot of coffee a bit earlier and perhaps then you need another one later in the day, until eventually, passing up that cup of coffee results in a headache. With time, the frequency of the headaches increases and so does your requirement for coffee. And you perpetuate the vicious rebound headache cycle. Although the caffeine is the culprit here, pain killers work the same way.

What happens is this. When you start taking pain killers more often than what the doctor prescribed or the label recommends, your body kind of adapts to the medication. The result is that each successive time you need a higher dose to combat headaches. And as you up the dose, the frequency and intensity of your headaches increases, so much so that headaches become a daily phenomenon. Some headache sufferers even find wake up with a dull headache that never really goes away.

Most people do not realize that over-the-counter pain killers are meant to give quick relief from occasional headaches. They were never intended for daily routine use recurring headaches because of the potential for causing rebound headaches. Once the rebound headache cycle has been triggered, the only way to stop it, is to stop taking the drug that triggered it. Period. But, although the task is simple, it is not always easy. Especially in the case of opium drugs, withdrawal must be closely medically supervised, because it is potentially dangerous.

For further rebound headache information, see Total Headache Relief or consult your doctor. Seek medical help if you:

have a headache more than 3 times a week
are regularly on pain killers
your headaches seem to be getting worse despite medication and rest

If rebound headaches are diagnosed, your physician will recommend the best way to stop taking the drug that is causing the problem and supervise if necessary. Your headaches may become worse before get better because of medication withdrawal symptoms, but if you persist, you can successfully break the rebound cycle.

Rebound headaches are usually accompanied by restlessness and irritability. Rebound headaches can be triggered by overused pain killer, however, some pain killers are more likely to do so. Common over-the-counter medications that contribute to rebound headaches are aspirin, ibuprofen, acetaminophen, more so if come in combination with caffeine. Rx drug culprits include most migraine medicines, opium-based medications, and those containing butalbital (Esgic, Fioricet, & Fiorinal). Get the details on your pain killer here.

Most importantly, preventing kind of headache from occurring often is the best solution, so it is worth while to try out most natural headache therapies as prevention is their focus. This requires a conscious effort on your part and can be achieved by identifying and avoiding things that trigger headaches for you. Alternative therapies like meditation and yoga teach you to relax and develop a positive attitude towards life. Also, making small lifestyle changes like getting sufficient sleep, eating meals in time, exercising regularly and quitting smoking can go a long way in preventing nagging headaches.

AUTHOR: Renee Morales.

Weight Loss Secrets Serenade

2008-12-10T07:41:00.000-08:00

Are you miserable with how
To can see and feel my pain?
Please don't hurt my holly cow
Where I left that frozen rain...

You look and feel? Have you tried
To nibble lump in melon rind?
That bug that's been in air died
Throw out the oranges and ate the blind.

Diet after diet and failed? Have you given up
On marching along for seeking of smog?
But where will it run when the time is up,
And diet pepsi throws my mind in fog.

On losing weight? You are not alone!
But critical fat burners subcultured in shame...
The man who says it can't be done
(For whole question & nothing's gone.)
To be crash-kille only by this name.

Every year millions of people take a trip
Pouring cream into common air.
Without a song the colors drip.
And shakes only snow out of the hair.

On the diet and weight loss roller coaster
Sagacious towers blindly grab
and spirit died between two lobsters
Born in Doctor Evil lab.

And they spend billions of dollars,
And this one seems to grow real fast.
Now who's bowling to be solar?
Swirling and moving like an arm in a cast...

On every fad diet available in
Fanatic ray that ready to destroy the world -
Around our head just life falls in ruins
You are the best person and, sure, the best word.

An attempt to lose weight... What are the secrets?
Does nothing to launder the backs of you fears
Which was aching with fully regret?
Even mankind had no ears from which to hear...

To losing weight? First of all, diets don't work!
I kissed the bunch of beavers
To only know this, don't wanna look like dork
I feel this wrong to simply pull a lever.

Period! There is no magic pill, machine or “secret”
A War! How can we live, give birth to plastic kids?
And is that memory I was a piglet?
One only stuff that useful I did...

That will magically make your body lose weight.
And I won't never eat these eggs and stay,
It was a dark and stormy - very great!
But nothing is original to say...

You have to think of it as a new way of life,
And sparkling yellow potion filled.
Relax, don't get involved knife
To cry inside you and be killed.

A permanent commitment, not just something
But I think this enough exceed.
Few naked ladies know simply what I'm seeing
Knife edge to easy write and read.

You do for a few days or a week and it's over.
Just make sure that your cars break.
And, now you know - it's only cover,
And you will get whatever you take.

If you follow a diet or weight loss plan
It should be a malfunctioning droid.
You seem to have misplaced your recipe for flan?
Then they stole it, were they paranoid?

That requires you to totally eliminate foods -
Without any samples in your mouth.
Long heard - hence - long misunderstood...
I wished those toys my early youth.

Or severely limit certain foods,
To be or not to be is just a bunch of blather.
But soon you sure will chew wood -
It's time not to the rocks, but gather.

You are setting yourself up for disappointment
When you'll find yourself in the troubles.
As I spoke before that all became supermen,
Naked playing cards become pocket bibles.

Frustration, and disaster from the start:
Damn mouse that just drunk off all my beer!
Rejection burns deep, and you found hole in your heart,
But it was there - you felt yourself like peer!

You do not have to starve your body to lose fat -
You and the similars all the same can't be butterflies.
Once upon a time there was just a little cat:
Just cup filled with clouds of my memories.

In fact, you must never skip a meal to lose weight
Carving out a pernicious void.
My jacket was put on, way to gate,
Kind of like a malfunctioning droid.

Think about it. The main goal of your body is to survive
And turning the fat fatten logs.
Lost in webspace and split all arrives
Cosmo farmer just shot their dogs.

If you try to lose weight by reducing your calories
Spreading hands that will choose what I set.
How this natural strength in my truly salaries
Said to all 'bout screaming I get.

Too much, your body will respond by storing fat
The ceremony of innocence is drowned.
And I ate this sweet fried big cat
Throu the net that withered and waned.

Instead of losing it and using muscle tissue to provide it,
We all have meat balls that grow.
If their life's so grand that we live it -
Then white stuff on the temple we're calling snow...

With the calories it needs. You body reacts this way.
Shout about doubt, don't pout you lout.
And how do you make them go this day?
C'mon dude, now twist and shout!

Because muscle is the most readily available energy source.
So overly protein abound,
Its calling as an unique horse -
The better name that could be found.

Using muscle tissue to feed the body lowers muscle mass
He would rule with an iron's rod.
Molten flowers explode yellow as I pass
That vanishly displayed weird bod.

Causing the body's metabolism to slow down...
Opened eyes are full of glimmers
At their grandiose sense of silly town
And sparkling memories of funky rhymers.

This, in turn, makes it that much more difficult,
Even better than a deep fried served band.
Reality is way leading to useless result,
Dancing in clear white robes, with knife in hand

To lose weight. Starving yourself is NOT the answer!
My Lord! Just got a strawberry milk shake and fries -
Life is like a big sausage, full of cancer
And droids' dance through fields of cries...

The result is a vicious cycle of trying to lose weight -
Walking constantly, awakeing and chewing...
Bright like a metaphorical tiger height -
They make themselves known by their ground crewing.

But gaining weight instead!
Life is short, drink wine and don't be sorry!
That keeps life around in your head -
Berserkers on both sides fought in a flurry.

What will burn that stubborn body fat and rev up
And Can we stop the tide?
But where will you, you rave handicap -
Stuffed animals never think of suicide.

Your metabolism without burning muscle mass?
Put on some rassberry chapstick,
Wiggle and squirm and get ready for class,
Throust your eye out with a joystick.

To effectively lose weight, you must drink.
The woman in the jam has always been a brawler,
And even little men can sing -
And dream of sing is dirty trawlers.

Lots of water, exercise daily, and eat five or six
So soon you smear it over fatty legs
Then consumation with my friend that kicks
And you take hits and more beg...

Small nutritious meals throughout the day,
My socks are wet, and my shoes now slosh.
Yet it's a scratch and save day at the bay -
Lets make all to go out and to wash.

No more than four hours apart. This’s weight loss!
You woke up in a state of bread
Vomiting robot poems are so gross -
I saw the Judge, his name was Dread.

Plan keeps your metabolism working at
The dinner, at last, emerged with juice-stained togs
You may want to get me contact lense "fihting cat".
While I gnaw my friend leggie, fatty hog.

Maximum efficiency to burn fat...
Like a pile of enthusiastic newfoundlands
There, yet I saw the rat, only the rat.
It sprinkled it with coriander to be bland.

Your body will not store up fat calories because
And when you try to hold them I leak like a sieve.
The windows are the eyes of house, thorny rose -
You crumble, wither as trees grieve.

It senses there will be a steady supply of food
At night and even in the day!
Cows are evil, pigs are good -
And your award is on its way.

And you will not feel hungry or deprived
When you died upon the foolisg red dock.
Reality through the brain is the world short-sived,
Saying silently ,"gimme ball, gimme dick gimme rock"

Between meals. With this change in your eating habits.
And there they easy will be found -
At the edge of revolution of blue rabbits,
Upon the gonfaloon do mighty gnats abound.

You will not be as tempted to cheat
The goddess - looks too fear...
But sun still spreading down heat
And shining eyes leak shining tears...

And your weight loss will be much easier!
You give its a chance of your black stain
Washing the wet movie boots of dead teasers
It can control all your brain.

In addition, you MUST do some sort of
Birds. Birds with arms it seemed too mystic.
Is it very hard as pure Smirnoff?
Or realistic, but trully sophistic?

Daily exercise - walking, power walking, jogging...
Though I never knew what was in the flue.
Catch this branch that is fogging
And crawling with the blues.

Elliptical training, bicycling and swimming...
And you think that gone your train,
You wish you could stop when everything done skimming
But everyone taste exorcist wine of your brain.

Are excellent and easy exercises that will put
Our thoughts to linger over fiery sun.
And unchecked breeding creates only the mutes
Only to realize not seeing is more fun...

Your body in fat-burning mode - these exercises
Stand up straight, then down on all floors.
Can you lap at toes of mighty and wise?
I finally able to get without door.

Force your body to burn a higher percentage of
Those diet pepsi, cookies - your mind is under fog
To deep in crazy game, to pick the magic golf
Would you handle doom if you looks like a hog?

Calories from fat and they increase your muscle mass:
The hula hoops chewed on all them
Wiggle and squirm and get ready for the class.
And quickly do because it is not like a femme

Allowing you to eat more. Plus, your body will burn
Poetry. Is it art, not the midless trash you peddle?
For little spots, that itch and turn
Like a snake pines for tall wood sandal.

Calories for up to an hour after the activity stops -
Yet, as you stop to observe your sense of duty flow
The Power of the Darkness is clambering to top
To lighten the display of creamy glow.

The secrets to the most effective diet and weight loss plan
Just to smell the flowers that smell so sweet.
And yes you do revel in the charade of this elan,
You must beware for things that eat your feet!

Are to listen to your body and eat when your body tells
So you done this and wear old tog.
That you kinda good and you kinda smell
Till it, at last, emerged with juice-stained frogs.

You - it's hungry, do daily exercises and make
Marking the time, but no looking back...
Your heart grew faint, their hearts began to shake
Just crank it up, let it down and give yourself whack.

The commitment to follow these guidelines:
Vice is nice, but a little virtue - won't hurt you?
This was the mission for which we were fine
Since you ran away with alien green shoe!

For a lifetime... Once you train your body to follow
Better or worse, more or less...
Somehow you didn't care about that cat's meow
And how it's cute its furry dress.

A proper diet and nutrition plan, you will eat more
Dancing and singing, lying and flying...
And please promise me - don't count and don't score
what a smacky promises - make you so crying.

Frequently but you will eat fewer calories,
You will've got that big god sound
Well you don't know, but I'll show you galleries -
Come and see half-life, you've been under ground.

Feel more satisfied, and lose weight!
Ask Mr.Yourself and spouse of course
Stopped or died - you found gate
Hey! be happy and be own nurse!

In a healthy manner - in that way and only that way
I'm not Shakespeare, I just using his quote
Words are very nice and, sure, can play
Filled with elegance, charm, just take note...

Will you lose weight and keep it off?
All you can do - make last kiss to the fries.
They caught your nose and pulled to cough -
Then just kick own ass and fly into the sky!!!

Diet + Weight Loss Secrets

Are you miserable with how you look and feel? Have you tried diet after diet and failed? Have you given up on losing weight? You are not alone. Every year millions of people take a trip on the diet and weight loss roller coaster and they spend billions of dollars on every fad diet available in an attempt to lose weight.

What are the secrets to losing weight? First of all, diets don't work, period. There is NO magic pill, machine or “secret” that will magically make your body lose weight. You have to think of it as a new way of life, a permanent commitment, not just something you do for a few days or a week and it's over.

If you follow a diet or weight loss plan that requires you to totally eliminate foods or severely limit certain foods, you are setting yourself up for disappointment, frustration, and disaster from the start. You do not have to starve your body to lose fat. In fact, you must never skip a meal to lose weight. Think about it. The main goal of your body is to survive.

If you try to lose weight by reducing your calories too much, your body will respond by storing fat instead of losing it and using muscle tissue to provide it with the calories it needs. You body reacts this way because muscle is the most readily available energy source.

Using muscle tissue to feed the body lowers muscle mass causing the body's metabolism to slow down. This, in turn, makes it that much more difficult to lose weight. Starving yourself is NOT the answer! The result is a vicious cycle of trying to lose weight but gaining weight instead.

What will burn that stubborn body fat and rev up your metabolism without burning muscle mass? To effectively lose weight, you must drink lots of water, exercise daily, and eat five or six small nutritious meals throughout the day, no more than four hours apart. This weight loss plan keeps your metabolism working at maximum efficiency to burn fat.

Your body will not store up fat calories because it senses there will be a steady supply of food and you will not feel hungry or deprived between meals. With this change in your eating habits, you will not be as tempted to cheat and your weight loss will be much easier.

In addition, you MUST do some sort of daily exercise. Walking, power walking, jogging, elliptical training, bicycling and swimming are excellent and easy exercises that will put your body in fat-burning mode. These exercises force your body to burn a higher percentage of calories from fat and they increase your muscle mass, allowing you to eat more. Plus, your body will burn calories for up to an hour after the activity stops.

The secrets to the most effective diet and weight loss plan are to listen to your body and eat when your body tells you it's hungry, do daily exercises and make the commitment to follow these guidelines for a lifetime. Once you train your body to follow a proper diet and nutrition plan, you will eat more frequently but you will eat fewer calories, feel more satisfied, and lose weight in a healthy manner. In that way and only that way, will you lose weight and keep it off.

Chris Chenoweth, author of the DO-IT-YOURSELF HOME, HEALTH & MONEY GUIDE http://mysiteinc.com/djtrevayne/guide.html, writes articles pertaining to nutrition, health issues, and household budgeting. One of the most effective and healthy weight loss programs available, BURN THE FAT http://www.ezniche.com/data/article.php?l=18, shows you how to convert your body into a fat burning machine.

Buying Renters Insurance Verse

2008-12-05T13:57:00.000-08:00

Renters insurance is often overlooked by people
So have a taco, what do you say.
We dream of dark things, nightshade and purple.
Doing this reminds me off Norway...

Who are renting their house or apartment?
The fly in our jam gets smaller and smaller.
Fall on your head and forget about dent -
Dream of ink and Navy trawlers.

Many people don’t realize that their
Phoenixes rise astronomically bound .
Mashed potatoes, where's the gravy baby?
Left town in a Greyhound.

Landlord’s insurance only covers the building,
Just don't sit up and 'net all friggin' night -
The planet Mongo was ruled by Ming.
And sistuhs, dat boy outta sight!!!

That's you live, there in no coverage for your personal belongs,
Forgotten by the hordes of the disillusioned.
Just to make sure that it won't go wrong -
And she got totally burned.

Renters insurance usually offers full coverage
Finding relief in fondoo-a cheese melter.
Can my heart, my body, my soul contain my rage,
Searching for solace from this helter-skelter?

To protect your belongs from fire, flooding, theft...
I'll! I've missed a spot, there's still hair on et!
My stomach empty, my soul bereft,..
But, PLEASE, always love it.

And many other types of perils...
Be afraid for a little while.
Her stinky, wet fur aflame in my nostrils,
And watch the green little critters rot in a pile.

Most renters' policies are actually very inexpensive,
Abnormal stains on the carpet...
And Lost in a space of split infinitives
I fling myself from a parapet.

Especially when compared with the regular
That mustn't have seen us,
Now who's bowling for dollars?
Does anyone know what time it is...

Homeowners insurance; and it’s easy to get
And I drew a kell -
It's easy enough to forget,
I travel, forseeing the need to spell.

A renters insurance quote. People who rent their homes,
Good A hand from above reached down.
Yet as we watch the snows of winter come,
Ay - but the tumor - 'twasn't known!

Apartments may not realize that they may need,
We would rule with an iron's rod.
Received his gift, the blood and seed:
Even if he has such a nice bod!

Liability insurance. You could be held responsible,
And I stood to go, for he was hollerin'.
Or rather lumpy tables -
Safe it is, when you keep it within...

For injury to another person if they were injured,
The softener glistening like fresh milked cream.
Or am I a castle who has been dismembered
When tedious sycophants scream?

In your rented residence. Fortunately, most renters insurance
As I watch my life being poured.
I want to dance, a dime a dance romance
Are stones part of time, I wondered...

Will guarantee personal liability coverage?
Like birds with arms it seemed surrealistic!
To the shadows of the net we shall pay homage
And neither are we sadistic?

Renters insurance will be able to help
Indigestion setsin so they now seem deadly.
The poodle broke wind and let out a yelp...
Eat broken glass, and pound on you soundly!

Protect you in case of a liability lawsuit!
Two sad eyes acrossing the room!
Or am I a really big mango fruit?
Curl up and die at the back to the groom...

Against you. In addition, if the place you are renting
As I wander through the crowd in the suit.
He thought that she was joking
As fly grasping warmth while perched on a circuit.

Becomes unlivable for any reason, most renters’ insurance
I shall go and weep in my maternal shed.
Highlighting and underlying my deep insignificance,
As hanging by the neck, it coughed.

Policies will allow additional living expenses.
Go ahead and try it, if that's what You say:
If all else the blazing sun, it teases,
I feel that I shall melt away.

This means that your insurance will pay for...
No longer wanting Wonder Bread!
Things are not always as they appear:
I want to bite off your head.

Your hotel room or any other expense you may have,
When I felt that the magic of childhood had gone.
How would one know I lived as a knave,
Ever blows the wind thru my bones?

If your home become unlivable,
So I'll just shut up and strike a pose.
Is poetry quantifiable?
Spray from afar but not to close!!!

Now some suggestions keeping
A loofah brush sits upon my worktable.
But what is it you're skipping?
Winding the trembling self-adulating fable.

Your renters insurance premium low...
Or realistic, but mystic, holistic!
Your breast is ice for me, your milk is snow
The amazing skateboardin' tarantula gone ballistic.

The cost of your renters insurance coverage...
Are we sure that this is the life we want to live?
Searching we are... for a bit of thrill-age?
I find that numbers are a painless alternative.

Will depend on many factors, including the place
Then take out my big black gun...
I saw him standing there with a smile on his face -
There's nothing worse than a squishy bun.

You live, your insurance company, your deductible,
Or maybe your feel as if the were large kegs...
Never understanding completely, their mind not pliable -
So they smeared it all over her legs.

And many other factors...
Molten flowers explode yellow as I pass!
Delete my face and close the doors,
Because you are no lass.

One tip is to increase the deductible, which will.
Is it the breath of pollen that tears my eye?
From my pockets, he's added to his till.
Even the dog with the guy.

In the long run lower the amount of money,
They still beating heart of civilization in the hand.
The air was frosty fresh and tasted of honey,
She sprinkled it with coriander as it was rather bland.

You will have to pay.
More Or less. More Or less.
Solemn sound with my self night and day
Of life's unrest, beyond the cries of loneliness.

If you put in safety measures like fire alarms,
What doesnt Kill you only makes you stronger!
He'd be diamond fist for the strongest arm -
So I crowed ... like a fish monger!

Burglar alarms, and fire extinguishers...
Your award is on their way.
Baby or bathwater, who cares the weather,..
And dance the night becomes away.

Your insurance company may offer a discount.
Stones tapping underfoot like rice crispies going pop.
Hey, however it all counts
Like green sturgeon rising to the mountain top.

If you rent a home, a renters insurance quote
Each quiet and brooding to escape your burden of sin.
Though filled with elegance and charm, take note -
As you waited, teeth bared, tin.

Will provide you with peace of mind and security
But better that than the tip of an elephant's tusk.
And yet the sun shineth down for all eternity -
The hat of my uncle is under the gland of my musk.

For as long as you rent a home.
I really need to stop wearing green slacks.
So worldy! So welcome!
This poem really sucks!

With a little planning and searching...
No laddy, free with a glance or glass!
His mother, he was choking
Molten flowers explode yellow as I pass.

You’ll be able to find great rates
It's time to find me a new chick!
Who decided she'd like to levitate?
How I dispair of your silly pointed stick.

On Renters insurance quotes
We drank away the best part of the day.
Though filled with elegance and charm, take note -
Your award is on its way.

And cheap renters insurance,
And spitting out hair lice...
The moon graced multiple presences'
You are unprepared to make face twice.

If you rent a home, protect it by buying Renters Insurance

Renters insurance is often overlooked by people who are renting their house or apartment. Many people don’t realize that their landlord’s insurance only covers the building that you live, there in no coverage for your personal belongs. Renters insurance usually offers full coverage to protect your belongs from fire, flooding, theft, and many other types of perils. Most renters’ policies are actually very inexpensive, especially when compared with regular homeowners insurance; and it’s easy to get a renters insurance quote. People who rent their homes or apartments may not realize that they may need liability insurance. You could be held responsible for injury to another person if they were injured in your rented residence. Fortunately, most renters insurance will guarantee personal liability coverage. Renters insurance will be able to help protect you in case of a liability lawsuit you. In addition, if the place you are renting becomes unlivable for any reason, most renters’ insurance policies will allow additional living expenses. This means that your insurance will pay for your hotel room or any other expense you may have if your home become unlivable.

Some suggestions keeping your Renters Insurance premium low.

The cost of your renters insurance coverage will depend on many factors, including the place you live, your insurance company, your deductible, and many other factors. One tip is to increase the deductible, which will in the long run lower the amount of money you will have to pay. If you put in safety measures like fire alarms, burglar alarms, and fire extinguishers your insurance company may offer a discount. If you rent a home, a renters insurance quote will provide you with peace of mind and security for as long as you rent a home. With a little planning and searching you’ll be able to find great rates on Renters insurance quotes and cheap renters insurance.

Mike Yeager, Publisher, http://www.a1-insurance-quotes-4u.com.

Discount Dental Plans Opus

2008-12-01T03:34:00.001-08:00

The pain is all but unbearable at this point
But genital wars save the day.
Not sponges, or head cheese or toe lint -
I want just to relax and play!

And you are going to have to see the dentist,
And the fat ugly moose lay in the sand.
Thus was the armed knight enticed from the list
I will always... dental plans with the shake of hands,

But, they did it again, didn’t they? Your employer
Got aspirations like fish on the bank.
It was found one morning, dead, in the foyer
But low, the fish out of water stank.

Has once more resorted to changing carriers
And I can't seem to find...
And shoot I care, bare, I got broad soldiers
Gently licking the salt from a pork rind.

In your dental insurance and now you are stuck
And though I don't remember when I could not mask the pain,
I pluck snake's eyeballs and have a suck.
Excuse me while I shoot myself in the brain.

With less coverage, higher deductibles, and reduced benefits
Who's that chick with the snake? Wotthehell?
Broke into a mega million bits -
You treat your garden very well!

Unfortunately, you have already exceeded
And the moon looks down, it's looking at a dime.
Its mind was all beheaded
And reduced to a puddle of slime.

The maximum allotment for your dental hygiene,
So let's just converse and have our cornflakes!
Behavior we'll have to leave this scene,
My teeth are so sore, yet I feel like a snake.

This year and you don’t even want to know
I sped off in my dental amid toxic spray.
They crunch between my toes like arrows
But the day-white smell always rips my dreams away.

How much it is going to cost you out-of-pocket
For little spots, that itch and burn.
Tell us where we can buy our cheap sockets,
Reality is just a cinema pop-corn.

To get that tooth taken care of properly,
He may not have hair, but he's still got air
Things don't appear hopefully
His face was all sticky with candy at the county fair

Do you? Maybe you don’t have dental insurance?
It's time to find me a new chick,
And all got up and left at once -
He sadly said "Yes, because i'm a hick".

Which is all the more reason for to read
Thrown into the sky like all so many figs.
Kick me in the head
Cause after the beating they all have to wear wigs.

On because one way or another,
Pulling my trousers down gently in the mist.
But i gotta talk to my Father
So just live who you are search for your Christ.

Those teeth need taken care of now!!
Swept by wave of emotion, tortured and taken...
Daybreak brings a molten white hot snow
That which made my blood shaking.

Maybe you are thinking that a dental plan
Is smoke-shrouded chain saw kicked out of the tree.
Yes, but only backwards with the olives in my flan,
Oh dental doctor, you'd better see

Is the last thing you need with all the other things
Push down on me hard darling
Irascable vampires climb upon the wings
Well nows the time we all gotta garlic

Flying at you every day in this fast-paced world.
But thou art mortal, and strongest billow
You are the best person was her told
She grips lovingly onto the brick that is her pillow.

But nothing could be farther from the truth!
Hung inbetween earth and heaven
I wish for the toys of my youth,
Read book by demon named Seven

People clip coupons just to save a few pennies
And, now nekked, they shiver, oh how they shiver
Well I don't know, but I'll be stumping for bounties
I feel 'tis wrong to simply pull a lever

On a jar of peanut butter but a dental plan could save them
I would kiss him but he's too much of a toad
We must discern them, good I am.
Life is so damn open road

Hundreds of dollars over the course of a year!
Make your niche, you squalid witch
And the wastrel radish has no ear
She had contracted ringtone, it made her itch

But how does a dental plan work? Isn’t it
But few women deserve a slappin
If I ever caught a bird, oh holly shit!
Allen is such a stud wrappin

The same thing as dental insurance
To what my friend the calendar says.
It still looked like it gave assurance
To Words through which love can make play

A dental plan is membership based but unlike
Everything seems just cool as can be
But, what a heck, take a hike...
Climbing a purple hairy bee

Dental insurance which usually requires a monthly deduction
I fled to my own bedroom palace
This is easy; it's not nuclear construction
They laughed him in the face

From your paycheck, there is only a one-time fee
As written rains and spoken snows
I'm so clapped up, I cannot see
I better go get pizza now

For year round savings. Any dental plan has a list
With silent rudy sounds
The mist cleared uncovering the sleeping psychiatrist
With my hidden founds

Of participating dentists that you can go to for services
The mice run quickly out of her house (((
And they're horrible and taste like faeces
In the grand design only man can confuse (((

But unlike dental insurance where you are often limited
Make your choice, you spanked witch
The best poem is not that which can skillfully imitate
So walk to her and scratch the itch

To dentists in your zip code, you can see any participating
But hear what we'll sooner find
So far, we have had slim lubricating
I have fallen into the yesterdays of mind.

Dentist and receive the discounts—anywhere!
Hair loss disasters don't wanna look
And wondered aloud, "what might live in there?"
President psyches all of us out returning all his books,

And while most dental insurance covers
Laying your eyes upon your clit
Brown girl has a couple of brown lovers
Understand the world, or garp it.

Nearly all preventative procedures, they limit disbursements
For swearing souls, curse them and eat them purely
Agravation is neccesary for fulfillment
I'll spit up the chard, surely

On many of the treatments that most of us in the “real world”
While the light of a dim bug beckons
And always butlers travel hurled
Do you long for fields of geckos?

Really need like fillings, extractions, root canals, dentures,
It never ends, in fact.
The pleasant path to happiness, that's for ventures
I've grown too old to act

And even crowns! Why should cutbacks in your employer’s plan
Or a purple spiderfish
And yes I do revel in the charade of this gun
Beautiful music emerged - no blemish

Mean cutbacks in the amount of care your teeth really need?
Floating in the quiet ecstasy of cobalt waves
Man is forced to eat greed.
Because that's all we really have

After paying the annual fee and depending on the plan
"FISH!" cried the bear, "Fish Rhymes with orange!"
While thinking whistfully I had other clans
Give me something that rhymes with orange :-)

You choose, a dental plan can save you anywhere
But oh, how this strength in me truly lies
Creatures from heaven are there
So I guess I'll have some pie.

From few procentes on the procedures you need now!
Oh the wonders of overlapping text
Alas, soon the gardener will decide to mow
And said "Who's next?"

Whether you have dental insurance that has been
You are my arm, said me, chanting surely
But that is better than green.
I'll spit up the chard prematurely

Cutback to the point of almost being useless or even
Finding relief in fondoo-a cheese melter
Ever bought beer from hell and from heaven
Some booties and a poncho would help him feel better

If you are paying for everything out-of-pocket,
I like to spank my little gnome named WILL
Tell us where we can buy our cheap rockets,
And of green pointy thingies i've had my fill

A dental plan is the only way to go to receive top-notch care
Or realistic, but mystic & holistic
Virute pals stone you to death in the town square
Kill all people who cant drink mystic

But at reduced costs! It is NOT a question of whether
She acts as she doesn't know him at all!
I asked mime to smash and shoot together
Your boobs are totally too small

A dental plan is right for you but only question
I then pull out the bottle's cork
Or as the trembling foot on the skull session
I don't make a mess, don't wanna look like a dork

Of which plan is best for you and your needs?
Next heavenly alone port!
As I wonder how to fulfill my grids -
One who hasn't built around them a stone fort.

Getting Serious About Discount Dental Plans

The pain is all but unbearable at this point and you are going to have to see the dentist. But, they did it again, didn’t they? Your employer has once more resorted to changing carriers in your dental insurance and now you are stuck with less coverage, higher deductibles, and reduced benefits. Unfortunately, you have already exceeded the maximum allotment for your dental hygiene this year and you don’t even want to know how much it is going to cost you out-of-pocket to get that tooth taken care of properly, do you? Maybe you don’t have dental insurance which is all the more reason for to read on because one way or another, those teeth need taken care of now!!

Maybe you are thinking that a dental plan is the last thing you need with all the other things flying at you every day in this fast-paced world. But nothing could be farther from the truth! People clip coupons just to save a few pennies on a jar of peanut butter but a dental plan could save them hundreds of dollars over the course of a year! But how does a dental plan work? Isn’t it the same thing as dental insurance?

A dental plan is membership based but unlike dental insurance which usually requires a monthly deduction from your paycheck, there is only a one-time fee for year round savings. Any dental plan has a list of participating dentists that you can go to for services but unlike dental insurance where you are often limited to dentists in your zip code, you can see any participating dentist and receive the discounts—anywhere! And while most dental insurance covers nearly all preventative procedures, they limit disbursements on many of the treatments that most of us in the “real world” really need like fillings, extractions, root canals, dentures, and even crowns! Why should cutbacks in your employer’s plan mean cutbacks in the amount of care your teeth really need? After paying the annual fee and depending on the plan you choose, a dental plan can save you anywhere from 10-60% on the procedures you need now! Whether you have dental insurance that has been cutback to the point of almost being useless or even if you are paying for everything out-of-pocket, a dental plan is the only way to go to receive top-notch care but at reduced costs! It is NOT a question of whether a dental plan is right for you but only a question of which plan is best for you and your needs!

Contact Lenses Online Ode

2008-12-01T03:27:00.000-08:00

Purchasing contact lenses online They want...
And many a day's been spent trying to sell...
Ordered ravioli from an Italian restaurant
Now, if they only had thoughts here. They're swell.

You to be a wise consumer if you buy,
Coz from this Rolling stone I can't get a decent view.
We stuck together, our love was... But why?
And we'll end up drinking more than a few.

contact lenses, a regulated product, on the Net,
Although some rain would be as good.
My that sheep has a titanic set.
I'd like to substitute dirt for food.

Over the phone or by mail. While such purchases
I thought that rash had cleared up for good!
If all else the blazing sun, it teases
Cold. Unworn lust is released like a flood.

Are often a convenient and economical way to get
Which dealt to her a blow like soft story foam.
It's easy enough to forget,
But they will get big if you eat apple gnome.

Contact lenses, Internet, phone, or mail orders require,
And found a smallish slug in my sock.
I know you like to look at what makes you perspire,
The door is ajar, and there's a squirrel in my dock.

Consumers to exercise some caution. The following questions
As a grain of sand is, I am surrounded by your fleshy thoughts.
With just a set for thourough gradation
Twas poetic justice that the kitty was caught.

And answers should help you take simple precautions,
I lost all colours but found the Net.
Or as the trembling foot on the precipice of fractions,
The camel I love is not here yet.

To make your Internet, phone or mail purchase safe
Gently licking the salt from a pork rind.
Reality is a staircase leading nowhere.
Are you gone out of your mind?

And effective for you. What do I need!
Cause after the beating they all have to wear wigs.
Man is forced to eat greed,
Cow and horse is more and big.

When buying contact lenses on the Internet,
You'd make glass butterflies.
Begin with the afternoon sonnets
But they will get big if you eat apple pies.

By phone or by mail? Is my contact lens prescription current?
My contact lens in petulant prose.
Bury it all in twelve tonnes of cement!
Oops! I think you got some on your nose...

You should always have a current, correct prescription
And then they danced in the room of ball.
Whoever taught you thermometer description
But we don't know who says it all at all.

When you order contact lenses. If you have not...
Summer burns on, and my insanity grows.
This is the season, jelly I got,
Through all this pain my roots and rows.

Had a check-up in the last one to two years,
Cury stopped the fight...
I'm going now to my closet to pick something to wear.
It was a dark & stormy night.

You may have problems with your eyes that you are
Pondering wonder, what will my thoughts anneal?
Don't ask me because I really don't care!
And the morning sun rose as I shot it with a gun of oatmeal!

Not aware of, or your contact lenses may not correct
And looked for two more lungs to clog.
Be careful there is a list of side effects,
The fisherman farmer shot his dog.

Your vision well! The expiration date for your prescription
Till their furies come, those wizened old crones...
Prisons: obey your reflection
What would thought the feeling gone.

Is currently set by your state. Some require a one-year renewal,
The fabled garb of Occidental renown.
Mashed potatoes, where's the gravy baby?
They are swirling, swirling down :-(((

Some a two-year renewal, while other states leave it.
And then, born unto the world was John Holmes, and he was good...
If my life is so grand then you live it,
Though, for all that was known it was never understood!

To your doctor to decide... Never order lenses!!!
Eat my fresh father cole slaw
I watch as steam of cowshit rises -
Someone strikes a match and I think it's just law.

With a prescription that has expired. What does a valid
Pulling my trousers down gently in the mist.
Funny Clown, bunch a balloons,
so just live who you are search for your Christ.

Contact lens prescription include? This depends on the state
While dolphins tweeted the dephts of the cloud -
Who decided she'd like to levitate.
We shouted "Turn down the music. It's too damn loud!"

Where your doctor practices. State laws often define...
Although I don't know them, They stole my dog,
I poured upon it caramel, but decided on praline.
Or would said swine be best left in a fog?

A prescription’s requirements. In states without a legal definition,
For it was his damn toe, that did commit that sin
And profound cathartic realization!
The turkeys fear the day they'll be our din-din.

The prescribing doctor includes some minimum elements.
And finally...with you...I'll be...
And other lunchroom condiments -
Now let me see if I can flee.

The minimum elements usually include your name.
Wit? 'tis absurd! Smith's Stout - not light.
The sun sparkles, and sprinkles not the rain,
It is a bird, without the flight!

And as the doctor’s name along with the contact lens
I was raped by a butterfly in fields of liquid wheet.
The air grows cold, my oatmeal thickens,
And you think I have dirty feet!

Brand name and material. Also,
Impale myself on an elephant's tusk,
That white stuff in his yard we call snow,
The hat of my uncle is under the gland of my musk...

Lens measurements such as power, diameter...
Hello, My name's Earth. Have we met?
You might find it dosen't much matter,
My drawers were all soaking wet!

And base curve are included. More detailed prescriptions include
Spam, Spam you come in that can!
Swimming in the freshness of my solitude
By the powerful yet rich MEXIcans...

Directions for safe use such as wearing schedule,
And drank the foam of the deep blue sea.
If you like, I'll give you my mule,
He stops to listen to the wings of honey bees.

Whether lenses are for daily or extended wear,
When I heard about his widowed bride...
That there was some mosquito in his ear
But why the hell should you take it in stride?

The number of refills, whether lens material substitutions
smother the fish in blankets...
Linking wonderous worlds of free expression
He somehow had missed his bucket.

Are allowed and an expiration date. Some Internet,
Some booties and a poncho would help him feel better...
Life without excitement is like fishing without a net,
looking for any sign of shelter.

Sites ask for information about your doctor so that
Then they danced in the room of ball,
Puffy, turgid, he soon found Internet...
Left, and right, while peering down the dim, bleakly hall.

They may check the prescription with your doctor.
But hear what we'll find -
Gleam the wisdom of our ancestors...
You always used to be so kind.

State laws vary greatly concerning the kind of
Surely some revelation is at hand.
With all the life and death yet more Smirnoff,
With just a wave of my inscrutable wand,

Verification that is required. Internet sites should comply with
The smell of that cheese makes me gasp...
Have you lost your faith?
Rub the cheddar with a rasp!!!

Applicable State requirements concerning verification -
Let's go play some ping-pong...
Please don't crap on america lottery nation,
I take a hit on my hooka-bong!

Of prescriptions for contact lenses. Will I get
Kill all people who cant drink mystic...
I lost all colours but found the Net,
Good cockroaches do not go ballistic.

In legal trouble if I buy my contact lenses on the Internet,
As I sit upon the willow tree.
I'm working without a net,
The molecule? No! For all that is will not be.

By phone or by mail if I don’t have a copy of my prescription?
And drank the foam of the deep blue sea.
Shall I not be had by the Lord in derision?
Is to watch the chickens flee.

You won’t break any laws, but the company selling...
And I think this is all very gamble
So far, we have had slim dwelling,
Feelin' all a jumble.

You are prescription device as if it were...
It's the motion that counts, forget about length.
Damn the dust, get it outta here,
Fill me with engorged emotions and ungoddly strength.

An over-the-counter device. In legal terms,
Or perhaps the sound of a ringing bell.
I can't decide, straight as a board, or a good fluffy perm?
Now it's drowning in the mud at the bottom of the well.

This misbrands the device. Often, the company will
Born to be an athlete I now lay here lame,
I accordance with eye's fateful fills -
This lethal conflict was once just a game.

Say that they will check back with your doctor,
I would, perhaps, think a line to be too long, if I could...
When all else fails consult you mentor,
I'd rather be a rabbit than a snail, If I should...

To confirm the prescription and expiration date,
Said the burger to the bun as the chocolate milk shake cries.
And barrows of sprung fabric, scintillate!
You'd make butterflies...

However, that may not always happen. Some Internet
Walls have ears, and there are hands on the lock.
Wildebeasts are especially rampant on the pet,
Watches and the bearded clocks.

Sites will allow you to fill out a chart with
Hi, My name's Earth. Have we met?
But somewhat perverse to be in loan biz,
But when we walk under the sun, the rain isn't falling - yet.

The ordering information about your contact lenses,
A cur occurs when one barks a slur.
And the scent of the sense of nonsensical senses,
And a long utility spurted upwards with a blur.

And ask you to fill in your doctor’s name and phone number.
Who decided she'd like to levitate...
I didn't inhale the firey cucumber!
And barrows of sprung fabric, scintillate!

The site may or may not ask for an actual copy.
A phillips mp3 player stucks in my brain!
Things are not always as they appear
Too stupid to get out of the rain.

Of your prescription, but they should comply with
Such a marvelous egg, but it's no sink with out a spout,
Definatly a first verse to be dealt with
Shout about doubt, don't pout you lout.

Applicable State law concerning contact lens
Whose pistils are worn from the friction,
A scent beyond all feathered pens
However it will cause a nice fiction.

Prescription verification. Since individual states have
Kill it before it spreads.
And cuddled with a dog named Grave,
An evil, old man, perhaps even dead.

Different licensing requirements for optical dispensers,
Who decided she'd like to levitate.
Brown girl has a couple of brown beers
Till saucy sawdust dries your deserts desolate.

Enforcement of prescription device sales -
Not all well I will listen to all you wish to tell.
I don't like aesop's fables,
Barbershop is the salvation out of that well.

Has usually been left to State authorities.
God had checked them all,
A brain smells like apple pies,
Write your wild wisdom on the toilet wall.

What harm can be done if I don’t have regular
Who then tried to feel my swollen balloons?
Now who's bowling for dollars?
Please hurry up we've got to leave soon!

Check-ups with my doctor or I order lenses
Much the road feels about a tyre.
And the scent of the sense of nonsensical sense -
Reality is a staircase leading nowhere.

Without a valid prescription? At your check-up,
Enemys been hunting grandmas again!
Reality is road leading anywhere and no up -
Too stupid to get out of the rain.

Your eye doctor will re-evaluate the fit of your contact lenses,
Words through which rage, love can play.
I watch as steam of cowshit rises,
As Lewis Carroll once did say...

And observe any changes in your cornea caused by your contact lenses.
Out of the window jump the plants...
I watch as steam of cowshit rises -
All I feel like doing is eating frozen curants.

You will benefit by having a correct, current prescription,
Marketing the time, but no looking back!
Shall I not be had by the Lord in derision?
He had to inject with a rusty tack.

And you may avoid serious problems, especially
I wandered into the land of the unknown.
I like to sail on open seas, I do it very carefully
And tossed every dwarf in the town.

If you wear your lenses on an extended or overnight schedule.
Yet his expression was oblivious and blank,
If you like, i'll give you my mule,
A wild monkey spank.

Though infections of the cornea are rare,
The pseudo-taco was very bland.
But since I live on heaven I really don't care;
I said farewell and waved my sullied hand.

Severe cases can cause loss of vision and even blindness.
Aren't you sick of reading???
How cute he is in that dress
Dancing and singing...

During regularly scheduled visits, your eye doctor looks.
Poetry is an art not the midless trash you peddle,
President psyches all of us out returning all his books,
Handle the bike oiled handle.

For irregularities that, if left untreated, may lead.
We lie in bed with a girl named Zen
So much in my head,
Seas of Purple, Darkness of Men.

Too severe problems. These irregularities often have no
God, Oh God, what do you do ?
Cold lives in me knows!
He wanted to listen me but demon has grew.

Symptoms and you may be totally unaware of them.
And many a day's been spent trying to sell,
And you don't appreciate them,
Considering all this side of hell.

Contact lens wear causes many changes to cells
At the outspace bionic war commander.
Or perhaps the sound of a ringing bell
While the cow cleaned her udders.

And tissues of the eye, and sometimes wearing contact lenses
The Ancient Mariner stood nearby, grumbling...
And the scent of the sense of nonsensical sense
As if elephant could sing gambling!

Can damage the cornea (the clear window of the eye)
Searching still seeking those of my kind.
Even the room with big-sized flyes,
Perchance behind the window blind.

Even if you are currently experiencing no problems,
The loathsome axe will cut down his tree.
Reality is a staircase leading nowhere,
To be or not to be...

The lenses may be causing damage to your eyes.
And though I don't remember when I could not mask the pain,
Speculum reflection from serpent mice -
It can control his brain...

Regular check-ups will reduce the likelihood,
I'm sick of you already -
Oh God this poem's getting good...
she is real real shady.

Of damage going undetected. Contact lenses that are not
A man of most omni-sophic stature.
For our own hands seldom rot,
Any problem, sane or obscure...

Properly fitted by an eye doctor might not work well,
Imagining the hero toffing in the lane,
Not all well I will listen to all you wish to tell
But no one ever is to blame.

Or even worse, may harm your eyes.
Poked my eye out with a dipstick
So bird is a why so clouds like guys.
Oh, what a trick!

Ask your eye doctor how often to have a check-up.
And turned the fatted logs -
Funny Clown, bunch of pickups
Went swimming in the bog.

Will regular check-ups help prevent me from
I wish for the toys of my youth,
Things are not always as in Sodom
With a dozen roses in it's mouth.

Having problems with my contact lenses?
Staggering I reached hastily for the...
My heart lusts for it in my soul fences,
Our baubles, our unnecessary clothes.

Anyone wearing contact lenses runs an increased
The souls of men go tumbling down, fumbling down.
A feeling that somewhere there's something I've missed
Goat entrails are brown.

Risk of corneal infection. Regular check-ups will help
Through the Fjords of Norway.
The poodle broke wind and let out a yelp,
The horses whickered from where they lay...

Reduce your chances of having a problem. At your check-up,
Cover 'em with honey, and let the ants feast.
Reality leading anywhere but no up
Sending the suckling pig to town with blast.

Your doctor may find something that requires refitting,
Wander'd the desert and baked bread without leven?
So it can keep beating
Seems better than getting enemy number seven.

With a new lens or requires modifying your wearing schedule.
But the spirit shed has left old phantasms.
Pay the full price if you play by your rule
Wiggling around in a wild spasm.

What can I do to avoid serious problems?
Ripe juicy peaches and dripping wet plums!
Reality is a staircase leading nowhere :-(((
Until thy noticed hanging from thine gums.

With my contact lenses? Ask your eye doctor
Just as my confidence and my hair have eroded.
Gleam the wisdom of our ancestors
For as the Earth turned the hours faded.

How often you should have a check-up and see
The canine's upper lip did curl asunder.
Never mind the peaches momma, never mind the tree!
Throw them in the fire to smolder.

The doctor according to the recommended schedule
Monkeys jackals compels me to hack.
Pay the full price if you play by your rule
With a week's worth of smack.

You run a greater risk of developing serious eye problems.
I bequeath a chunk of my heart muscle to you.
Things are not always as they appear -
Fluorescent ties give me the blues.

Such as infection if you wear lenses overnight.
And wish thee never lose thy yearning for fruit loops
So save my soul, you creature of the night.
Although hapless children chewed hula-hoops.

Order your contact lenses from a supplier you are familiar -
Feelin' all a jumble.
Things are not always as they appear
Showing how much they all are unstable.

With and know is reliable. Contact lenses are often more complex.
There's nothing worse than a squishy bun.
Things are not always as in Forex -
Only to realize not watching is more fun.

Than they appear... Request the manufacturer’s written patient
And to deny that is to defame.
Illegally from the United States government,
I talk and talk about the government just the same.

Information for your contact lenses. It will give you important risk
For my lips are truly broken.
The floorboards in here are somewhat fragilisk,
Bloody candle if I'm not mistaken.

Benefit information, as well as instructions for use.
Just don't sit up and 'net all friggin' night!
And when I did, he called me a louse!
And damn, in whose fist, my left lung was caught.

Beware of attempts to substitute a different brand
When by shapes my words are known, I try...
As I stood with you hand in hand
Eggs are hard to fry...

Than you presently have. While this may be acceptable
As written rains and spoken snows.
A loofah brush sits upon my worktable
Gliding along in the canoe of life, row by row.

In some situations, there are differences in the water content
As a grain of sand is to a gizzard, I am surrounded by thoughts.
And away we went...
Wet birds dont fly at night.

And shape between different brands. The correct choice
Is the cryng Earth, its weeping shores.
I can not decide; I cannot suffer voice
Venturing out to find what was in store!

Of which lens is right for you should only be made based
We must root out the bastard commie finks
Getting the most of life, that is leased.
I will pull my finger when my eye blinks.

On examination by your doctor, not over the phone
At times like these I find a turtle very handy.
Bakes upon! Bakes upon stones
And I suck it like candy.

Carefully check to make sure the company gives you
While yodeling antelope my grandparents flaunt.
Since you ran away with up your rear end his shoe!
Hey, it all counts.

The exact brand, lens name, power, sphere, cylinder,
And kick stealthy strokes like the flemmish,
And awoke with heads like thunder
What sorrow do I feal for the naked fish.

If any, axis, if any, diameter, base curve, and
Be careful, I hate cuts.
And bury them up to their necks in sand
Where no one will laugh at my big gut.

Peripheral curves, if any. If you think you have gotten
And yet the sun shineth down for all eternity.
It's better to be welcome then to be forgotten
In its fraility.

An incorrect lens, check with your eye doctor -
All the ghosts have begun humming.
When all else fails consult Earth daughter
Far better than my drumming.

Don’t accept a substitution unless your doctor approves it.
We shouted "Turn down the music. It's too damn loud!"
You may want to get me my contact lense if you see it
While dolphins tweeted the dephts of the cloud.

Where can I report problems that I have
But oh, how this strength in me truly lies.
I read the lines in autumn leaves.
Why did Old Yeller have to die?

With my contact lenses? You can report
I fondled my hamster with glee.
Next heavenly port
The loathsome axe will cut down his tree.

A serious eye problem associated with your contact lenses,
Let your tongue wander the subtle darkened folds.
By lavashing you with gifts not involving Spam or mooses
At skies whose dreams they cannot hold

With MedWatch reporting form. Also, contact your
Cheeses about in the firmament flound.
I finally was able to get out some semblance around four
So overly abound

Health professional for medical advice. You can report
And thus triumphed in the life you chose.
Next heavenly port,
The salt and juice are loose.

Problems involving contact lens sales
Tick tock meowed the clock.
Or rather lumpy tables
She knows he comes from only the finest stock.

If you do not get the exact lenses that you ordered,
Lifting Ye head from betwixed her thighs.
My toast it was buttered
Or the otters will sigh.

You should report the problem directly
He thought, "This would make a great story to tell!"
My produce watches defiantly
I travel, forseeing the need to spell.

To the company that supplied them.
Lordy, dear, where have you gone?
I turned green and spewed half chicken files at chem.
The idiots patrol the borders of the bone.

Considerations To Make When Purchasing Contact Lenses Online

The FDA wants you to be a wise consumer if you buy contact lenses, an FDA-regulated product, on the Internet, over the phone or by mail. While such purchases are often a convenient and economical way to get lenses, Internet, phone, or mail orders require consumers to exercise some caution. The following questions and answers should help you take simple precautions to make your Internet, phone or mail purchase safe and effective for you.

What do I need to consider when buying contact lenses on the Internet, by phone or by mail?

Is my contact lens prescription current? You should always have a current, correct prescription when you order contact lenses.

If you have not had a check-up in the last one to two years, you may have problems with your eyes that you are not aware of, or your contact lenses may not correct your vision well.

The expiration date for your prescription is currently set by your state. Some require a one-year renewal, some a two-year renewal, while other states leave it to your doctor to decide.

Never order lenses with a prescription that has expired.

What does a valid contact lens prescription include?

This depends on the state where your doctor practices. State laws often define a prescription’s requirements. In states without a legal definition, the prescribing doctor includes some minimum elements.

The minimum elements usually include your name and the doctor’s name along with the contact lens brand name and material. Also, lens measurements such as power, diameter and base curve are included.

More detailed prescriptions will include directions for safe use such as wearing schedule, whether lenses are for daily or extended wear, the number of refills, whether lens material substitutions are allowed and an expiration date.

Some Internet sites ask for information about your doctor so that they may check the prescription with your doctor. State laws vary greatly concerning the kind of verification that is required. Internet sites should comply with applicable State requirements concerning verification of prescriptions for contact lenses.

Will I get in legal trouble if I buy my contact lenses on the Internet, by phone or by mail if I don’t have a copy of my prescription?

You won’t break any laws, but the company is selling you a prescription device as if it were an over-the-counter device. In legal terms, this misbrands the device. Often, the company will say that they will check back with your doctor to confirm the prescription and expiration date; however, that may not always happen.

Some Internet sites will allow you to fill out a chart with the ordering information about your contact lenses and ask you to fill in your doctor’s name and phone number. The site may or may not ask for an actual copy of your prescription, but they should comply with applicable State law concerning contact lens prescription verification.

Since individual states have different licensing requirements for optical dispensers, enforcement of prescription device sales has usually been left to State authorities.

What harm can be done if I don’t have regular check-ups with my doctor or I order lenses without a valid prescription?

At your check-up, your eye doctor will re-evaluate the fit of your contact lenses and observe any changes in your cornea caused by your lenses. You will benefit by having a correct, current prescription and you may avoid serious problems, especially if you wear your lenses on an extended or overnight schedule.

Though infections of the cornea are rare, severe cases can cause loss of vision and even blindness. During regularly scheduled visits, your eye doctor looks for irregularities that, if left untreated, may lead to severe problems. These irregularities often have no symptoms and you may be totally unaware of them.

Contact lens wear causes many changes to cells and tissues of the eye, and sometimes wearing contact lenses can damage the cornea (the clear window of the eye). Even if you are currently experiencing no problems, the lenses may be causing damage to your eyes. Regular check-ups will reduce the likelihood of damage going undetected.

Contact lenses that are not properly fitted by an eye doctor might not work well, or even worse, may harm your eyes.

Ask your eye doctor how often to have a check-up.

Will regular check-ups help prevent me from having problems with my contact lenses?

Anyone wearing contact lenses runs an increased risk of corneal infection. Regular check-ups will help reduce your chances of having a problem. At your check-up, your doctor may find something that requires refitting with a new lens or requires modifying your wearing schedule.

What can I do to avoid serious problems with my contact lenses?

Ask your eye doctor how often you should have a check-up and see the doctor according to the recommended schedule.

You run a greater risk of developing serious eye problems such as infection if you wear lenses overnight.

Order your contact lenses from a supplier you are familiar with and know is reliable. Contact lenses are often more complex than they appear.

Request the manufacturer’s written patient information for your contact lenses. It will give you important risk/benefit information, as well as instructions for use.

Beware of attempts to substitute a different brand than you presently have. While this may be acceptable in some situations, there are differences in the water content and shape between different brands. The correct choice of which lens is right for you should only be made based on examination by your doctor, not over the phone.

Carefully check to make sure the company gives you: the exact brand, lens name, power (sphere, cylinder, if any, axis, if any), diameter, base curve, and peripheral curves, if any.

If you think you have gotten an incorrect lens, check with your eye doctor. Don’t accept a substitution unless your doctor approves it.

Where can I report problems that I have with my contact lenses?

You can report a serious eye problem associated with your contact lenses with FDA’s MedWatch reporting form at: http://www.fda.gov/medwatch. Also, contact your health professional for medical advice.

You can report problems involving contact lens sales by Web sites by sending e-mail to webcomplaints@ora.fda.gov.

If you do not get the exact lenses that you ordered, you should report the problem directly to the company that supplied them.

Wesley Atkins is the owner of 'Contact Lenses Advisor' a website dedicated to advising consumers about buying contact lenses safely online. You can visit his website at http://www.contact-lenses-advisor.com.

Obtaining A Home Loan Poem

2008-11-28T10:10:00.000-08:00

Home buyers are often confused about...
Since in this life there is no safe bet!
And she lost all her whey both inside and out.
And all that you long for is all you will get.

Where to begin in their search for a home loan.
Birds evaporate into a sky greenly tainted...
My poor weary body groans,
My lips, so hungry, sealed her journey, before it was started.

The process is usually narrowed down to finding.
And I think this is all very tiring!
I like golf putting -
Please please don't think I'm a nutter.

Which institutions provide the lowest settlement costs -
shall I not be had by the Lord in derision?
So now I just wander, my feelings are taost:
It's time for deep inner-reflection!

But the different types of lending institutions -
Boogy-Woogy in the deep dark wilds of the Bahamas.
However it will cause a nice contusion:
colors like the smell of trout in my pajamas.

...And the variety of lending programs,
So I cut throat with a wire
Not aware it took the tram -
I know you like to look at what makes you perspire.

Available can make the search a slow, difficult experience.
Ground up human toes blended with potted ham.
Softer than her own screaming silence
But again I declare the need for self-discovery, for I am no yam!

Real estate settlement costs are fees buyers normally pay
At skies whose dreams they cannot hold.
Now just shut up and listen, to what I've got to say:
Our pretzels are stale, our longings are old...

When purchasing a home such as legal services property insurance
But only God can make a simile!
And all got up and left at once.
And the frogs sniff glitter glue, and dance on the stile.

Mortgage loan financing and title services.
That's anatomically-correct!
And spits the seeds in others' faces -
I hit the sand and crawled toward the vascilating object.

In the past, consumers would have to call each lender.
Death answers in its own peculiar way...
Watch the chicken sit and moulder,
Codfish smell bad on market day.

Request an estimate of their settlement costs,
A chicken would be more preferable,
So I dove headlong, through the posts.
Is poetry quantifiable?

And compare all of the results to find,
Swimming in black tendrils, feeling annoyed.
Still the tears fell, and the fury of the wind...
Each leaf is destroyed.

Which lender offered the lowest total settlement costs.
sweet eloquence is adversarial rot.
I've cleaned up all the guests,
He vaporized the cat! A mistake? Not!

The Department of Housing and Urban Development, however,..
Although I don't know her, she stole my dog -
I feel 'tis wrong to simply pull a lever.
Who, clothed, then mock the naked hogs.

Recently revised the Real Estate Settlement Procedures Act
shout about doubt, don't pout you lout!
I've grown too old to act -
Is there an easy way out?

Which now makes it easier for consumers,
As the tide of timef low relentlessly onward,
Moored among the coasters and lighters,
Cuz beauty is something so rarely heard...

To estimate various settlement costs
I wandered into the land of the unknown.
I've cleaned up all the guests,
But the stiching got me down.

Through computer loan origination programs,
Rumblety-bump, all the way to the village...
Spurs snick, thighs smack hot equine hams,
My baby's Daddy is three times my age.

In this manner, consumers can access a computer listing
And I think this is all very tiring...
But I remember nothing
but the spirit shed has left old phantasms.

Of various programs offered by lending institutions.
Well, sort of like your uncle, rather,
Post cereal dibbling fusion -
Many a wistful wife who yearned for hers.

The computer search speeds the reviewing process
But remember to check yourself for fleas...
Surely you guess, that I am no less,
Where did I leave those frozen peas?

Various programs and allows participants to arrange.
Poetry is an art not the midless trash you peddle.
Give me something that rhymes with orange -
Handle the bike oiled handle.

Financing with the listed lender,
Strewn 'cross the floor in such a mess.
And awoke with heads like thunder,
And the cockroach scutters silently into darkness.

Buyers using a computer loan origination program
Go forth and plunder thee.
Filling my broth with marjoram
The smoke-shrouded chain saw kicked out of the tree.

May be required to pay a fee for this service,
Just sniff the air and then smile!
The guilded zamboni glides over the ice,
Glistening as the date, shrivelled as an empty reptile.

But many buyers feel the convenience outweighs the cost.
A scent beyond all feathered ken,
So I dove headlong, through the posts,
Errant time, it passes with a stumble, drunken.

Still, the new changes require a real estate broker.
A name in any non-prose is still a name.
Who happens to be a cake baker!
The sun sparkles, and sprinkles not the rain.

With a computer loan origination program
In a world of haves and have-nots,
Not aware it took the tram -
A great big room of apricots.

To inform the buyer that the service is only an option,
Too stupid to get out of the rain,
Please don't crap on my lottery nation...
I think this poem's gettin lame.

And that non-listed lenders may offer lower rates or fees.
And each puddle sublime
Spewing venom throughout the trees,
Vicariously asleep and tired with time...

The new Federal Regulations also permit...
Gently licking the salt from a pork rind!
Reality is a staircase leading nowhere.
You feed your psyche ideas so unkind.

Real estate brokers to offer more comprehensive services,..
Thus Every picture tells a lie
And spitting out hair lice
If you eat it you will die so i suggest an apple pie.

To home buyers by allowing brokers to enter into
And the moon looks down, it's looking at a dime,
And drinking the sweat upon my brow.
Time is money; Money is time!

Controlled business arrangements with other companies
Curried weird with deadened breath.
But they will get big if you eat apple pies
The bird has died a thousand deaths...

Associated with the home buying process -
It's time for deep inner-reflection.
And the cockroach scutters silently into darkness.
Shall I not be had by the Lord in derision?

Real estate brokers were always allowed to refer,
A western wind has just been born...
Things are not always as they appear.
A mother, unrecognizable as head was shorn.

Buyers to lending institutions, title companies,
A mosquito resting upon an eroding dock.
Like a dream that flows in rivers of despair it flies
I tripped on a vicker's pet rock.

And escrow companies, but they were not permitted to accept
If covered just slightly with relish.
Things are not always as they appear,
Cure your rhyme fetish!

Compensation from those institutions for giving a referral,
Watching the chunky bits float gently to the ground.
Things are not always as they appear...
As cheeses about in the firmament flound.

The changes now allow real estate brokers to enter
And left a goat for hire.
Yet in the cellar my pet still swelters
Of a burning four-ply tire.

Into partnerships or actually open their own mortgage service,
Beating yourself in the head all the while,
And yellow penguins began to carve the ice
Glistening as the date, shrivelled as an empty reptile.

This allows brokers to provide virtual “one-stop shopping”
And I think this is all very tiring.
Nostrils aflair, square jaw jutting,
We gave of the flower and said it was ours. :-(((

By handling the entire settlement process,
Yet his expression was oblivious and blank...
How cute He is in that dress!
Just a shame she likes robbing banks.

Changes were made to help home buyers learn about
Singing out like a crazed iron smelter,
And the kool-aid stains never did come out
Of barks and fingers like water.

And obtaining mortgage services more conveniently
I woke up ate jelly and combed my hair in anticipation of the storm
While the circumcised wren burbles efulgently...
Isn't not fitting in supposed to be the norm?

Since Real Estate Act helps consumers to understand the process
I really need to stop wearing green slacks.
Make love, it hurts less
Man, this poem sucks!!!

Of home ownership, the regulations may encourage more!
My senses disengaged resting comfortably numb
The crying Earth, its weeping shores -
Happy, care free little cherubs with milk moustaches and oreo crumbs.

Potential buyers further stimulate the real estate market.
Why is it Bill Gates looks like a frog?
Who on a dark drunken night went into a bucket,
Or would said swine be best left in a fog???

Comparing The True Cost Of Obtaining A Home Loan

Home buyers are often confused about where to begin in their search for a home loan. The process is usually narrowed down to finding which institutions provide the lowest settlement costs, but the different types of lending institutions and the variety of lending programs available can make the search a slow, difficult experience.

Real estate settlement costs are fees buyers normally pay when purchasing a home such as legal services property insurance, mortgage loan financing and title services. In the past, consumers would have to call each lender, request an estimate of their settlement costs and compare all of the results to find which lender offered the lowest total settlement costs.

The Department of Housing and Urban Development, however, recently revised the Real Estate Settlement Procedures Act (RESPA) which now makes it easier for consumers to estimate various settlement costs through computer loan origination programs. In this manner, consumers can access a computer listing of various programs offered by lending institutions.

The computer search speeds the process of reviewing various programs and allows participants to arrange financing with the listed lender. Buyers using a computer loan origination program may be required to pay a fee for this service, but many buyers feel the convenience outweighs the cost. Still, the new RESPA changes require a real estate broker with a computer loan origination program to inform the buyer that the service is only an option and that non-listed lenders may offer lower rates or fees.

The new Federal Regulations also permit real estate brokers to offer more comprehensive services to home buyers by allowing brokers to enter into controlled business arrangements with other companies associated with the home buying process. Real estate brokers were always allowed to refer buyers to lending institutions, title companies and escrow companies, but they were not permitted to accept compensation from those institutions for giving a referral. The RESPA changes now allow real estate brokers to enter into partnerships or actually open their own mortgage service institutions. This allows brokers to provide virtual “one-stop shopping” by handling the entire settlement process.

RESPA changes were made to help home buyers learn about and obtain mortgage services more conveniently. Since RESPA helps consumers to understand the process of home ownership, the regulations may encourage more potential buyers and further stimulate the real estate market.

W. Troy Swezey is the author of 'COMPARING THE TRUE COST OF OBTAINING A HOME LOAN'. As a Realtor at Century 21 Paul & Associates, he has helped many individuals with their real estate needs. Visit his web site to download his free e-book, 'REAL ESTATE SECRETS EXPOSED' at http://www.TroyIsMyRealtor.com.

Press Release On Time Serenade

2008-05-30T06:36:00.000-07:00

Bearing in mind the wide range of news
I need a job with better pay...
In mind for change of little blues
The horses whickered from where they lay.

You might announce and the wide range...
But a listenable rhyme contributes a smile
I love to eat an orange
That upon a fortnight could bring a pile

Time Your News Release For Maximum Publicity

"Cindy, where's that story? I need it yesterday!"

"Coming right up, boss. I'll have it to you soon," Cindy shouted back.

"Yesterday isn't soon enough!"

Cindy clicked on her screen. "You have mail." She looked at the messages. "Three news releases," she murmured. "I don't have time for this now." [delete] [delete] [delete]

Stop! Was that your news release Cindy just deleted? Too bad you sent it to her at the wrong time. You may have heard that "timing is everything" and that is even more true in a newsroom. But how do you know when is the best time to send a news release?

Media relations is an art more than a science, so there is no single rule. If there was, everyone would be a media star. Here are a few guidelines to help you zoom ahead of your competition for the media's attention:

Each type of media and each type of journalist is different. Here are just a few of the variables:

National or local media

TV, newspaper, radio or magazine

News reporter, features reporter or columnist

Consumer magazine or trade journal

Daily, weekly or monthly publication

Print or electronic

Each company or organization is different, as is its news. Here are just a few of the variables:

Local, national or international operations

Pre-scheduled news release, or last-minute reaction to today's news.

Product announcement, policy announcement, financial announcement

Bearing in mind the wide range of news you might announce and the wide range of media targets, 9:30 to 11:00 a.m. tends to be the best time of day to release news. You want to give the assignment editor time to send them out to cover your news. If you hope to get into the noon news, you don't want to go too late, because you run into TV deadlines. Early afternoon is a second-best time, but if you get much past 2:30, you will catch Cindy's [delete] button at most daily newspapers and television stations.

I have been asked about the best day of the week to send out a news release. There isn't one. I have seen plenty of debates on this. From personal experience, the only difference I ever noticed is when I could pick a slow news day. For instance, if in your city the daily newspaper can be reached on Sunday and not too much tends to happen that day in your subject area, you may find it easier to get into Monday's newspaper than if you try later in the week. But on average, there is not much difference.

Best time of month, year, etc? Again, there is no single best time. There is one golden rule. Do not send out a release when the world is wrapped up in some all-consuming event like the death of Princess Diana or the attack on the World Trade Center. Remember how much TV airtime and newspaper print space were devoted to those events? The media and its audiences had other things on their minds than your news. You can't control events, but you can control the timing of your release (most of the time).

How far in advance should you send out your release? Some book reviewers usually need several months. Others don't want to see your release until the book is on the store shelves. Many consumer magazines have a six-month editorial preview. Features editors often run several weeks ahead of time, but sometimes squeeze things in on short notice. News departments want only breaking news. Yesterday's news is ... well, yesterday's news. Your release is already forgotten.

Does all this sound confusing. It is. The bottom line in any marketing is to know your target market and give it what it wants. Same with the media. The guidelines above give a very abbreviated list of what you need to consider. If you are still unsure, a media coach might be a good investment. But be forewarned – find someone with enough experience and success to coach you in the right direction.

After a decade and a half as one of Canada's top consumer advocates, often conducting over 600 media interviews each year, David Leonhardt is sharing his knowledge with others. Pick up a copy of his special report "Get In The News!" at http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/PR.html.. Home page is http://www.TheHappyGuy.com

amabaie@phastnet.com.

More and Better Marketing Verse

2008-05-30T06:33:00.000-07:00

Many sales problems can be solved
By sickly sweet smell of lost touch as they have...
Reality through the brain is the world involved
floating in the quiet ecstasy of cobalt wave.

Does Your Company Need More Marketing? Or Just Better Marketing?

Many sales problems can be solved by improved marketing. Selling harder is often not the solution. More . . . or just better . . . marketing may be what's needed. Marketing presents a special problem for any company that has not yet developed a professionally staffed marketing department. This article looks at the various marketing functions. It describes some successful approaches to determining when to add "more" marketing to your company.
In The Beginning
Most successful companies grow from a small enterprise based on the founder's idea or vision. In the early stages, the founder usually plays many roles. It's common to see a founder handling engineering and/or sales roles. As the company succeeds and grows, many of these tasks are delegated to others.
The one area most often key to the long term success of the company is the function of marketing. This article covers:

The marketing functions
The problems they can prevent or solve
The contributions you can expect from marketing

Marketing: The Difference Between Buying And Selling

The definition of marketing has been attempted by many authors. It is commonly referred to as the process of relating the potential customers' needs and wants to the company, and then addressing the company's solutions to meet those needs and wants back to the marketplace.

We have described marketing as the process of focusing on Who the customer really is, and What the customer is actually buying from you . . . rather than what you're selling. What customers can buy from your firm . . . that they cannot buy from another . . . is the real reason they do business with you.

The marketing functions within your company that support this work can be divided into product marketing and marketing services to support demand creation and sales. Both functions are necessary to have an effective marketing effort. However, they are distinct. How much of each you need . . . and who should perform these duties . . . are important issues.

What Is Product Marketing?

The classic definition of product marketing includes the issues of product, price, promotion, and sales channel (place). The concept of product marketing holds true whether your company is a "product" or a "service" company. In the case of a service company, your "product" is the service provided.

To succeed, these product marketing issues (product, price, promotion, and place) must be handled so they are effective from the customer's point of view. In the beginning, these issues are usually a key part of the founder's vision. When the company succeeds, they often become too complex . . . and too important . . . to be handled part-time, by the chief executive.

Product marketing works over two different frameworks, each important, and fundamentally very different. These two areas are strategic and tactical.

Strategic Marketing

Strategic product marketing is the future component of the marketing problem. Strategic issues include:

What business is your company in?
What business should you be in?
What products or services should be designed and offered?
What technical capabilities need to be developed within the company or acquired from outside the company?

Other related strategic issues include:

Marketing channel strategies (How do you reach your customers, then sell and deliver the goods?)
Competitive positioning (What sets your company apart in the minds of your customers?)
A complete understanding of, and ability to communicate to customers, What they can buy from your company that they cannot buy from any other company.

The strategic role requires a person who is a generalist, with a broad view of the market, the industry, and the company. This is the role most usually maintained by the founder/CEO. Portions of this strategic function may be provided by a senior marketing manager or by outside consultants.

Tactical Marketing

Tactical product marketing deals with issues that relate to the success of current products or services. These include:

New products or services introductions
Promotion of existing products
Development of marketing programs and literature that are effective in reaching the customer
Communicating the unique position that separates your company from your competitors
Ensuring that the sales channels are being used effectively to reach customers

The development of tactical plans is a product marketing function. The execution of some of these tactical items may be accomplished by marketing services, as described next.

The tactical role requires a person with the desire and skills to "get it done." Both tactical and strategic roles require great communications skills, and the ability to deal successfully with a wide range of peo-ple, both inside and outside your company.

What Are Marketing Services?

Marketing Services executes tactical marketing programs. This may include sales contests, public relations, advertising, trade shows, dealer programs, direct mail campaigns, etc. This function manages or provides the creative, and produces items such as brochures, advertisements, press releases, trade shows, etc.

There is obviously an overlap between tactical marketing and marketing services in the area of defining and planning these programs. A senior, experienced, marketing services professional may be able to perform some of the functions of tactical marketing. Unfortunately, many times we place an excellent marketing services person in a position which really is tactical marketing . . . and the results are not satisfactory.

Marketing Services' function is to create and manage the tools, support materials, and collateral that tactical marketing has determined necessary to effectively implement the programs designed to achieve the strategy.

Skilled marketing services professionals have excellent input regarding these tools and materials to assure effective results. Asking them to perform the tactical product marketing function is quite another thing!

What Do Marketing Problems Look Like?

Sometimes it's easy to see a marketing problem. One example of this is a stalled product.

You've spent many months developing a new product and feel sure of its merits in the marketplace. You've introduced the product, but it seems to be going nowhere. What do you need to do to take advantage of your investment and ensure the success of the new product (and perhaps your company)?

Should you lower the price?
Should you raise the price?
Do you need to spend money on advertising?
Do you need to kick off a public relations campaign?
Do you need new sales channels, or do you need a program to "kick start" your existing channels?

Obviously some of these issues are tactical product marketing. Some may involve marketing services, or the problem may be fundamentally strategic.

Possibly, you have an unneeded or unwanted product or service. Maybe you have not fully determined what the differences are your product or service provides which are valuable to potential customers.

Another example of a potential marketing challenge is an important new product introduction.

How do you ensure that you get the best press coverage?
Should you introduce the product at a trade show? Or with a press conference? Or with a press tour?
What literature and sales tools will you need?
Does this new product (or service) fit your existing sales channel?
What is the competitive environment in which this product will be introduced?
How should the product be priced and positioned to take maximum advantage of the competitive situation
What do your prospective customers think of the new product?

Again, some of these problems are tactical and some are Marketing Services. Executing an effective new product launch by relegating the planning and execution to Marketing Services, or worse, to your advertising agency, is a mistake. Given that 90% of new product introductions fail to achieve their sales goals, perhaps it's time to consider that the execution may not be the problem. Perhaps there was never a viable plan.

Sometimes it's more difficult to recognize the problem as belonging to marketing. It can still clearly be rooted there however. An example of this is the conflict between sales and the factory. Often the conflict looks like this:

The salespeople are frustrated. They see opportunity they can't turn into business, and they blame the factory for not listening to them, and for being unresponsive.

The sales person says, "Why don't they hear what I am telling them?" The factory staff in this case is often frustrated with field sales. "Why can't they just sell what we have?", is a common question from the factory.

Are the salespeople just complaining, so you should disregard them? Are the factory people being too "hardheaded?" Or is it possible that a marketing job, clearly defining the position of the product and communication of this to sales, has not been done?

If sales does not know the positioning, you will be getting inconsistent results and information from them. Has this happened to you?

Some marketing problems are easier to identify. You have an idea for a wonderful new product. But,

What features should it have?
What is the importance to your customers of each feature?
Is there something else even more important about which you are unaware?
How do you tell the story of the product so that you can get your sales people excited, and your customers to buy?

To answer these questions, what do you do? Do you conduct a focus group? Or a user survey? By phone, or letter, or face-to-face interviews? Or just design it, release it, and hope you were right?

The bottomline is that all of the above scenarios describe marketing problems which can be solved with the right marketing talent. Whether that expertise is full-time or a part-time, on-staff or from outside services are trade-offs you make to get the best solution your budget can afford.

Final Thoughts

The key to marketing is to see your company as you are seen by your customers. If you're satisfied with your company's results and feel that the future of your company is secure, then you may have all the marketing you need.

If you feel better results are needed, that you should be selling more, or your profits should be higher, or you should be doing a better job of satisfying your customers . . . then you should seriously consider adding marketing talent to your team.

Author, Mitchell Gooze, is the president and founder of Customer Manufacturing Group. For a free subscription to Customer Manufacturing Updates, e-mail us at info@customermfg.com, call (800) 947-0140 or visit the company website at www.customermanufacturing.com.

Forgotten Marketing Opus

2008-05-30T06:32:00.000-07:00

Tactical marketing processes are once again -
It's probably pining for the fiords.
They are been hunting grandmas pain:
A terrible tastless seemless word.

Forget Conventional Marketing - Embrace the Web!

Tactical marketing processes are once again undergoing fundamental shifts from traditional to web-based processes. Many traditional marketing firms/agencies are still touting the tried and true to their clients; i.e. Tradeshow attendance, Print, Traditional PR, TV and Radio. However, these conventional marketing processes work best for broad market awareness and/or branding, especially for a Fortune 1K company with significant resources to spend on demographic analysis, test marketing and more test marketing. It's much more difficult for a smaller company (startup to $50M per annum) to leverage the economies of scale that are typically available for a larger company for the media buy and operational efficiencies.

It's obvious that lifestyle and business processes are shifting towards a much greater dependence on digital media - people are traveling less due to cost issues and the ever-increasing speed of business is underscoring the usage of the Internet for information and research. If you're a small to medium sized business the chances are that you've probably cut your marketing budget significantly - by eliminating or scaling back tradeshow attendance, trade magazine advertising and/or direct mail in favor of response driven marketing on the web that can be deployed faster and more cost-effectively than traditional marketing methods.

Capturing leads from a web site generated by opt-in e-mail, newsletter inserts, text link advertising and/or other forms of pay per click marketing is still the absolute best way to generate leads that are quantifiable as soon as they are generated. You have the ability to easily track where the lead came from and via what interactive advertising process; assuming this has been setup for you by your interactive ad agency or with the online publisher. And, there are typically no lead times like more traditional marketing processes - we've created and deployed campaigns (creative, media buy, testing, ROI analysis, etc.) for our clients in 3-5 working days in some cases.

There are some pitfalls to web-based lead generation and follow through that you need to be aware of as you deploy an interactive campaign. Here are five of the most important "gotchas" that you need to think about as you build an interactive lead generation program around your web site:

1) Don't make it difficult for people to contact your company - make sure your web site really communicates with your prospects - by "communicating" I mean by providing telephone contacts, e-mail address and/or a lead capture form that is short. Note: this form has to be supported by a published Privacy Policy ("we won't divulge your info to a third party under any circumstances") and it absolutely must be short; i.e. don't request any more than baseline information, name, phone, e-mail and address, augmented with a comment box.

2) Your marketing objectives have to be supported by your sales team - the sales team has to be incentivized to respond to inbound e-mails and requests for information via a contact form in a timely manner, within 24 hours or sooner. If you have a geographically dispersed sales team then make this clear on the web site by providing specific contact points for states, regions and countries.

3) Make sure you IT person/department attends your marketing planning meetings with your sales team - your web site will need some type of a lead capture setup that redistributes leads based on function and/or geographical responsibility. Your IT staff has to create a database solution that captures, stores and distributes leads - this does not need to be done in-house, products like Act (the market leader in contact management software) are now web-enabled, you can capture leads via a web server and share leads with others via a browser and very inexpensively.

4) We don't advocate popup advertising for most of our client's advertising campaigns. But, we have "crossed over to the other side" and we do (highly) recommend using popups on our clients' web sites to present opportunities that in turn capture leads. Studies have shown effective popup lead captures increase lead generation by 40-85% depending on the market segment. Popups can be set so they only launch on a frequency basis per session (visit to a web site) or a number of times for a specific visitor - they don't have to setup so they are intrusive and annoying.

5) Last but not least (drum roll) - make the customer's usability experience the most important aspect of your web site. Create a user interface ("experience") that is pleasant for your visitors; i.e. use standard universal (top of page and local page left) menus, utilize 2-3 sentence paragraphs with lots of white space, don't overload your pages with graphics that slow down load times and make sure your contact points (phone, e-mail) are readily available from every page.

So, to summarize; advertising is shifting from traditional to web-based or interactive if you will - so, to get on board this tsunami build a web site that communicates with your prospects/customers, provide contact points via telephone and e-mail via the site, involve your IT and Sales staff with the lead capture process so they are all stakeholders and utilize popups to accelerate your lead capturing.

Author, Philippa Gamse, CyberSpeaker, is an internationally recognized e-business strategist. Check out her free tipsheet "Beyond the Search Engines" for 17 ideas to promote your Website: http://www.CyberSpeaker.com/tipsheet.html. Philippa can be reached at (831) 465-0317 or mailto:pgamse@CyberSpeaker.com.

E-Mail Marketing Real Ode

2008-05-30T06:29:00.000-07:00

Spam e-mail is no longer the mild
Of all aspirations like fish on the bank.
But how could I I'm just a child!
But hey, the fish out of water stank!

New Realities for E-Mail Marketing

Spam e-mail is no longer the mild irritant it once was - it's clogging corporate networks and ISP mail servers and has become a real productivity drain, forcing corporate and consumer e-mail users to spend 20-30 minutes a day dealing with this deluge of junk! According to recent figures, unsolicited bulk e-mail now makes up to 36% of all e-mail, up from under 8% just over a year ago. And, what's worse, more and more legitimate e-mail is not getting through to recipients due to Spam filtering taking place via ISPs and/or corporate networks.

Opt-in E-Mail Marketing 30K foot Picture

Opt-in e-mail marketing is clearly losing some of its effectiveness as a viable marketing tool much to the consternation of those of us who have been advocating its effectiveness for years! This is not to say opt-in e-mail isn't a viable way to market goods and services - but ROI (read response rates) is heading south quickly and needs to be considered when assessing the viability of this marketing process, as response rates have dropped on average from 10-20% to 3-10%.

However, opt-in e-mail is not disappearing off the marketing horizons - Forrester forecasts spending on e-mail marketing will grow from $1.3B (USD) in 2001 to $6.8B in 2006 and Jupiter Media Metrix is even more optimistic, forecasting growth rates from $1B in 2001 to $9.4B in 2006. But, there is a dark undercurrent to these numbers that is fueling the market growth and driving down response rates - some opt-in agencies, brokers and media representatives are "flogging" lists by overselling them - so caveat emptor.

Five Offsetting Marketing Strategies

1) Deploy opt-in e-mail campaigns very selectively (!) - buy opt-in e-mail lists from legitimate top-tier broker/list managers who are well established, are not "over-sending" messages to list subscribers and who are constantly refreshing their list quality by adding new subscribers. Critical questions to ask brokers include: how many messages ("frequency" in ad speak) are sent to each list recipient per month, how are new subscribers added and what is the percentage of new members added per month, are they using "third party" (someone else's list) lists to augment their own, are their lists "double opt in" (meaning, you sign up and then must reply to a signup confirmation to be added to a list) and last but not least, what is their privacy policy and how strictly do they adhere to published industry standards.

2) Utilize plain vanilla text link advertising - find web sites or portals that have traffic that is comprised of customers who are in your market segment. Then, add a text link (banner ad or graphic button if you will) to a page or pages and negotiate a media buy that is based upon a "cost per click" basis; i.e. paying only for traffic that clicks through to your web site.

3) Creating and deploying a "link strategy" campaign (i.e. getting a site listed via other web sites) is one of the best self-sustaining interactive marketing processes available to any company seeking to drive qualified traffic to a web site. This process is not based upon the more traditional "reciprocal links" procedure but incorporates some web-based competitive analysis. You start by analyzing the links that are pointing back to your top 3-5 competitors' web sites and then establish relationships with these sites and also submit your site to top and second tier directories to augment the number of links.

4) Newsletter insert advertising used to be considered rather mundane and not very effective. But, if you contrast the effectiveness of this process versus the new opt-in e-mail response rates the heretofore-lowly newsletter advertising has new and vastly improved luster! Also, in the past it was difficult to track when and if people clicked on a text link ad in a newsletter - but new technology enables virtually any publisher to provide you with this information, enabling you to track your ROI for the media buy. Finally, the real beauty of newsletter text advertising is that it is very targeted and people want to receive the information so you can be confident your ad will at least be viewed by some finite number of prospects.

5) Search Engine Ranking has come of age in the last 12-24 months - you can now easily create and deploy a traditional (title, description, keywords inserts in content, submissions and optimization) search engine ranking process that is augmented with a pay per click ("PPC") process. Deploying both ensures you derive long term (traditional rankings) and short term (pay per click) results, with the latter being driven by the amount of funds you have in your marketing budget.

Author, Lee Traupel, has 20 plus years of marketing experience - he is the founder of Intelective Communications, Inc. http://www.intelective.com a marketing services company which provides strategic and tactical marketing services exclusively to small to medium sized companies. Lee@intelective.com Reprinted with permission from Intelective Communications - this article may be reprinted freely, provided this attribution box remains intact. (c) by Intelective Communications, Inc.
Lee@intelective.com.

Wrong Marketing Poem

2008-05-30T06:28:00.000-07:00

Fundamental Strategic Marketing Mistakes to Avoid

This is a pretty tough global economy and it is critical for a company to leverage every bit of their marketing resources. So, if this is the case, why are so many companies shooting themselves in the proverbial foot by breaking some of the most fundamental rules of marketing? It's a very simple question with complex answers - here are some of the pitfalls to avoid:

1) Believing a second rate web site communicates integrity: So many web sites are just plain funky looking (graphics, text, menus, etc.) - nice professional term, but it's descriptive of some of the dreck that passes for web site design. A company should not forget that perception is reality on the web and people aren't going to do business with a company that can't field a decent web site - end of story!

2) Deploying a marketing strategy that's all over the map: Is Yahoo a Search Engine, a Portal or a Hollywood Media company? They are the classic 3D hologram advertisement for a company that can't figure out what it wants to be when it grows up. A company must pick a marketing strategy and then stay the course - changing direction every time the wind shifts is not a good business strategy and creates more motion than action.

3) Forgetting real brand development: Branding became the ".com" rallying cry for every newby wet behind the ears with an Internet dream to become a billionaire by selling dog food on the web (I'll leave the sock puppet out of this) - we all know this didn't work. But that does not mean a company should ignore brand development - it's important to remember that a good brand is built one marketing process at a time; everything that a company publishes, develops or communicate is part of the brand building process, which in turn defines the company's market position.

4) Ignoring distribution channels by selling direct via an ecommerce web site: A company should not build and launch an ecommerce site and start selling direct to customers and forget about a distribution channel. It's imperative to give the customer the choice to buy direct from your company or locate a distribution channel partner via a look up capability on the site. And, if you really want to win the hearts and mind of a channel never sell below retail (SRP) - and afford the channel the opportunity to discount your product so they can compete effectively with you.

5) Making competitive analysis a low priority: Too many companies forget about their competitors after the business plan has been written. They don't take the time to review them on a periodic basis and try and figure out how to deliver goods and services differently, which in turn drives competitive advantage and a long-term sustainable business model.

6) Poorly thought out Investor Relations press release: Do companies actually think investors are just plain stupid and don't really read an IR (Investor Relations) directed Press Release carefully? Investors are typically very bottom line oriented - they want to know about revenue growth and real strategic partnership developments that help the company grow and not much else. Just throwing fluff out in the market and hoping this will drive investors to invest is just plain shortsighted stupidity.

7) Thinking any/all consultants know your business better than you: Reporters and consultants (including this one) have driven just as many companies into the ground with bad advice as much as they have helped them - companies must realize a consultant is typically not down in the trenches and they can make some bad calls - it's important to filter their advice.

8) Letting the inmates run the asylum - customers should help a company refine its product marketing strategy by working as partners. If engineering tells marketing "the customer doesn't really know what they want but we do" the red lights should start flashing danger - the company may be in serious peril and at the very least need new focus and direction for product marketing.

Competitive Traffic Serenade

2008-05-30T06:26:00.000-07:00

Need more traffic? There's a lot you can
Searching they are... for a bit of thrill-age?
As when they ponder iced tea and a fan
With mouths that chew tasty sausage...

What Your Competition Knows About Traffic

Need more traffic? There's a lot you can learn from spying on your competition. Your competition has traffic sources that you can easily swipe by following these steps.

Step One: Who should you spy on? You probably can name six to thirty online competitors. If not, you need to go through Google and Yahoo with the key terms you target. Who comes up? Write down everyone who has a business similar to yours, even if they aren't identical.

Now you need to figure out who you should spy on first. Begin with the most successful websites. How do you find them? It's easy with a couple tools.

The Google toolbar (toolbar.google.com) is essential for spying. The Google toolbar features a little bar labeled "PageRank." Depending on each site, this bar may be gray, white, or (usually) a combination of green and white. The more green, the higher Google ranks that page. To get an exact PageRank, put your cursor over the PageRank graph and hold it there. Your competitors with the highest PageRank are the ones you want to look at very closely.

You also want to spy on the competitors with the most traffic. To figure out the relative traffic position of your competition (compared to all web sites), go to alexa.com and download their toolbar. The Alexa toolbar will display a number for each website it?s traffic rank. The lower the number, the higher the traffic. (For example, Yahoo?s Alexa rank is 1, while Blockbuster?s is 2,220.)

Step two: Snoop through your competitor's log files to see which sites and search terms send them the most traffic. Is there a public stats tracker on your competitor's site? If so, check it out. If not, try typing in your competitor's URL with /stats.html and /stats/ on the end of it. Often times, web hosts put statistics here - without password protection. Still can't find your competitor's stats? Try Googling their URL and "statistics." It's a long shot, but sometimes statistics pages will turn up this way.

Step three: Look at who is linking to your competitor. The easiest way to do this is to run a backward link search in Google and Altavista. Simply type in link:http://www.yourcompetition.com (using your competitor's URL). You'll find most of the pages that link to your competitor this way. How do you know which links are the best? By using the Google toolbar. The pages linking to your competitor with the highest PageRank are the ones you should look to for links of your own.

To steal those links, email all the webmasters that are linking to your competitor without getting a link back in return. Figure out why they link to your competitor (good free content, subject fits site, etc), and give them a better reason to link to you. Chances are, most of these webmasters will give you a link as well.

Once you have these new sites linking to yours, positive changes in your Google ranking are likely. You may even overtake your competitor for your targeted search terms especially if you get links from spying on multiple sites. All from a little reconnaissance work and some emailing!

Author, Kari Freckleton, aka Greedy Girl, shares her unconventional ideas for free at http://www.greedygirl.com.. Ready to smoke the competition? Email Kari at girl@greedygirl.com to join her Too Good To Publish marketing club.

Marketing Verse Out

2008-05-30T06:24:00.000-07:00

Outsourcing your Web Marketing

The online world is still very new, and constantly evolving. You may be thinking about outsourcing your Web promotion to an expert who is immersed in this world as their fulltime occupation, rather than trying to acquire this knowledge, and cope with the pace of change in-house.

So, what should you look for in a consultant, and what guarantees can you expect?

Choosing the consultant

The consultant should ask a lot of questions about your business and your objectives. They need to be very clear about the strategic and specific goals of your site. Do you want as many visitors as possible (as in: “We get millions of hits on our Web site”), or are you more interested in attracting qualified leads for your association? Are you selling products? Are you looking for new members, sign-ups for your newsletter or events, media coverage, etc.

It’s possible that there could be different markets for each of your objectives. The consultant needs to demonstrate that they clearly understand the demographics of the audience you want to attract. This includes whether your markets are currently online, whether they are comfortable using e-mail, etc. It’s also important to clarify any restrictions on your marketing – for example, if you are only targeting specific locations.

The key to effective Web marketing is to have a comprehensive, integrated plan that focuses on where your markets “hang out” online. It’s absolutely not enough to concentrate your efforts on search engines – that’s a passive rather than an active approach. You want to reach out to your potential visitors, not wait for them to come to you. And, you want to ensure that your offline marketing includes your Web site – up to a third of your traffic can now come from real-world sources.

So, the consultant should propose to you a wide-ranging plan (assuming that’s appropriate for your goals) that includes:

Search engine strategies
Paid (bid for placement) listings
Review sites and directories
Linking with other appropriate sites
Advertising / e-zine sponsorships (depending on your budget)
Online public relations opportunities
Integration with your real-world marketing

Effective Web marketing must also include an e-mail strategy. The consultant should include in their proposal some ideas for targeted, personalized (and fully opt-in) e-mail. This requires a contact database that you can use to select out the different audiences that you might have for these messages. The consultant should also be able to help you create this, if required.

And finally, the consultant should explain how they propose to evaluate the success of any marketing campaign your goals and objectives. Marketing is an ongoing process, during which you’ll learn a lot about your site and about your visitors. This knowledge should be analyzed and used to tweak your site and refine your business strategies. A good consultant will be able to work with you to achieve this.

What guarantees can you expect?

Let’s be very clear – there is a distinction, which often gets blurred, between sales and marketing. The job of a marketing consultant is to bring qualified traffic to your site (or in other words, into your storefront). Completing the sale is then a separate challenge.

Marketing is also a very gray area, in which it’s difficult to provide cast-iron guarantees of results. This is particularly true in the area of search engine optimization, since the search engines are so unpredictable. In my opinion, if a consultant promises you “top ten placement” you should be very wary – it’s possible that they are using tactics that could be classified as spam – soon if not now.

But obviously you do want to check that the consultant has a good track record, and that they can provide references from other clients. I believe that good Web knowledge and proven online marketing tactics are as important as an in-depth familiarity with your industry.

In setting your contract with the consultant, it’s important to have a mutual comfort level with your goals, expectations and budget. There are many opportunities for free promotion online, but if you’re prepared to spend some money, you can potentially build your traffic faster. Since building awareness of a site takes time, perhaps a minimum six-month period would be advisable, but with appropriate get-out clauses for both parties.

Conclusion

Good Web marketing is a team effort! Hire a consultant who you feel very comfortable with, who asks lots of questions to really understand your business and your goals, and who seems genuinely interested in promoting you. But then be prepared to work with them – respect and consider their suggestions, and allow them to be creative in their approach.

Free Advertisement Opus

2008-05-30T06:22:00.000-07:00

Best Approach For Free Advertisement

Best approach for free publicity...

Product/service publicity is the superhighway to business success everyone dreams. Then imagine having your product/service written on newspapers, trade publications, aired on radio and viewed on television absolutely for free!!! That’s going to skyrocket your profit target only if you know how to use the best method of getting free publicity.

The million-dollar question now is, what’s the best method for a free publicity? It is the PRESS or NEWS RELEASE. The knowledge about how it works is the key to your success. This knowledge depends entirely on how you understand the psychology of the editors and new directors that publish or air your press release. This article will show you how their psychology works and how best to manipulate them for your benefits.

Number one. These editors and news directors are very busy people. Don’t bother them with your trials and tribulations or your plans for the future. They are only interested in something new and profitable to their readers or viewers. So the rule here is to sell him first. Convince him that your business fills a need to his readers, viewers or listeners. Then your press release will be welcomed.

Number two. Editors and news directors move with the trend. They concern themselves more with current issues and events. So timing of your press release with current news events is an important factor. For example a story on job layoff and increased unemployment carried out on newspapers, on TV and radio should prompt you to get a publicity release out to all the media on help and opportunity offered by your product/service.

Another kind of timing to keep in mind is publication. For Articles you’d like to appear in the Sunday paper, you’ll generally have your release in at least nine days prior to the date of publication.

Number three. Media men appreciate polite gestures. When an editor uses your publicity release, always follow-up with a customized “thank you” note. Next time you send out your publicity release with others, his more likely to pick yours. If he doesn’t use your publicity release, never call him demanding to know why he didn’t use it or only gave you a mention. Do this once, that particular media will “round file” my further material received from you, unopened! If your first effort is not used, change the story, perhaps write it form a different angle and try again and again.

Number four. They appreciate a formal press release. Finally you need an actual publicity release that’s well written and expected to be used by the media. It must be typed, double spaced, and short (1/2 page total length). About an inch from the top of the paper, with an inch and half margin on the side of the paper; from the left hand margin, type in capital letters: PRESS RELEASE. Then, underline this word. Immediately following the colon, in small letters put the date. Note to put the date forward, at least one day after you intend to mail the release.

On the same line, but on the right hand side of the page, all in capital letters, FOR FURTHER INFORMATION: underline it, and immediately below type your name, your phone number and your address all in small letters.

Skip a couple of spaces, then in capital letters-centered between the margin type story headline, and underline it… skip a couple of spaces, and from the left margin, all in capital letters, type the words, FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: from there on, it’s the news or publicity story itself.

Use these four basic psychologies of the media men and enjoy a free publication of your product/service always.

Author, Am Emma Okafor, an online market researcher and writer.

http://bizacumen.8k.com.

Media Marketing Ode

2008-05-30T06:20:00.000-07:00

Can Media Coverage Build An Online Business? You Bet It Can!

As someone with expertise in media relations, I've been asked if media coverage and publicity can build an online business. The real question is whether what happens offline really matters online. And the answer is unquestionably, "Yes!"

Here are ten reasons why media coverage can help your online business grow:

Every one of us, even if we spend four to eight hours a day in front of a computer screen in our underwear, still lives in the real world. Our opinions, desires, priorities, and decisions are heavily influenced by television, radio, books, magazines, and newspapers. Every business, online or offline, can benefit from positive media exposure.
Almost no business can afford to be absent from the Internet these days; even a local real estate agent gains a competitive edge from having a web site. By the same token, an online business gains a strong advantage by having an offline presence. Online and offline marketing of all types support each other.
Search engines won't bring most web site owners business. I just did a Google search for "books", and found about 85.2 million entries. Ninety-five percent of searchers will likely click on the first two (Amazon.com and BarnesAndNoble.com), most of the others will never get to the second page of the searches. This means that 85,199,990 web site book sellers cannot rely on search engines. How about searching for the word bookstore? Still almost seven million entries, and guess who the top two are?
You can't cheat the search engines. Try a search for books and carpentry. The odds are much better, with only 106,000 entries. That still means 105,990 web site book sellers will rarely be found. How about books and promotion? Almost two million entries. If a million carpentry book sellers are reading this article, five are smiling. The rest will only smile with an offline presence, such as a great article in their local newspaper or a call-in show on a radio station half way across the world.
The media can create interest in your product or service if they feature you as part of an interesting story. Online or offline, that's what media coverage does. A good story is gold.
The media is just starting now to wake up to the exciting things happening online. Timing is everything and this is the time.
The media are now working increasingly online. The online and offline worlds are converging more than ever before. Articles that appear in local papers, industry magazines and even commentary on radio broadcasts find themselves on the Internet. That can often mean powerful links to your web site. Publicity offline means promotion online.
If you are running a contest, placing a new interactive program on your site, winning an award, taking donations for a charity or doing anything noteworthy online, it is of interest in the offline world. The media can act as a funnel for people who spend less time than you and I do in front of a computer screen.
In the mainstream media, you are trustworthy. If they see it on TV or in the newspaper, people believe it. (Funny, they SAY they don't trust the media, but their actions speak louder.) Since web marketing is about relationships and trust (That is your strategy, right?), you can build that relationship with people who are only now getting online or who may not even be online for another couple years. By the time they are ready to buy from you, the relationship has already begun because they have carried your offline credibility (that's the biggest value of media coverage) with them onto the Internet.
In the mainstream media, you are real. I know many people who still don't buy anything online. They simply do not trust someone they cannot see. Sure, you might be honest, but how do they know? You could disappear into the ether tomorrow. While bricks-and-mortar stores can close just as fast, there is an impression that they are more real and more permanent. You can increase your realness and permanence through a media presence, and thereby increase your customer base.

Media relations is not always easy and not everyone can make it. You have to have something interesting to tell and have a creative way to make it newsworthy. But it is a low-cost way to drive traffic to your web site. And you may not need to get onto the front page of USA Today to succeed. You may simply want a mention in a few niche magazines where your targeted traffic can be found.

So if you don't like the idea of being a million entries down on a web search, or even 60 entries down, consider a low-cost, effective alternative – the media. With the right angle, media relations and publicity can expand your engine faster than search engines.

Profit Poem

2008-05-30T06:18:00.000-07:00

Share Ad Expenses to Boost Profits

The challenges of the small business owner are well documented. They must battle for market share larger competitors, run all aspects of their business, and even pay higher rates for advertising and other marketing related expenses. Small businesses generally do not qualify for volume discounts when it comes to buying advertising space or marketing materials, and thus they end up paying higher rates for the same ad space or marketing materials purchased by their corporate counterparts.

In recent years, there have been some changes in the marketplace that are of benefit to small business owners. For example, Internet procurement sites have emerged offering discount rates on everyday office supplies such as toner or paper. However, the high cost of advertising has not been formally addressed. That’s why many small businesses are taking matters into their own hands and joining forces in marketing “co-ops”.

Here’s an example of how it works. Andy’s Accounting Firm and Larry’s Legal Firm are both small businesses operating in the business-to-business sector. Andy services small businesses with their accounting needs, and Larry is a lawyer specializing in small business issues. Andy and Larry both wish to purchase advertising space in a popular small business magazine. The rate they are quoted individually is $5000 for the back page of the magazine. Since they are not repeat advertisers, neither Andy nor Larry receives any kind of discount. So how do they save money on this advertising venture? A co-op approach on one of two fronts will cut their advertising costs significantly:

Share the ad: Since they are not direct competitors, Andy and Larry could split the ad space 50/50, acting almost as if they were partners although their businesses are distinct. This drops the cost to $2500 for each business and they still receive broad exposure in their chosen publication. In fact, by putting their heads together they should be able promote their collective business expertise as “Total Solutions for Small Business”.

Purchase separately at a discount – There may be some occasions where a business does not wish to share its ad space. Even in these cases a co-op approach can offer a lower cost. Andy could call the publication and ask for a quote on the back page for next month. Once the price of $5000 is quoted, he then offers the publication a deal “What if I bring on another advertiser for you. Would I get a small discount?” Most publications live or die on the sales of their advertising space, and are usually willing to offer someone like Andy a 10% discount for bringing someone like Larry in to purchase an ad elsewhere in the publication. Andy and Larry split the savings and Andy ends up paying $4750 for a $5000 ad. Although the savings were smaller in this case than the shared ad example, remember that Andy now has the entire back page to himself and saves $250.

Advertising is not the only example of co-ops at work. Web Designers would jump at the chance to line up two clients in one shot, and would likely offer a discount to do so. The same applies to a printing company that prints brochures or business cards. The possibilities are endless, including the size of the co-op you choose to join.

When faced with a major advertising buying decision or the need for new marketing materials, find out how much you will have to pay as a small business. Then form alliances with similar small business, and negotiate a better deal for all parties involved.

Written by Will Dylan, Author of Small Business Big Marketing and owner of www.marketingyoursmallbusiness.com. Will also offers article and news release writing services through his website. You can contact Will at askwill@marketingyoursmallbusiness.com.

Small Business Marketing Serenade

2008-05-30T06:13:00.000-07:00

Small Business Marketing, According to Seinfeld

What could Seinfeld possibly have to do with marketing a small business? As it turns out, all small business owners could take a few lessons from the show that brought us such popular phrases as “Man Hands” and “master of your domain”.

The Coffee Shop – Jerry, George, Kramer, and Elaine spent countless hours in the coffee shop, talking about “nothing.” You should spend some time there as well, but instead of talking about your parents or your date last night, get together with other small business owners and talk about your respective business and marketing activities. Many of you already participate in local business clubs and organizations, but the feedback and shared ideas that are generated in an informal business chat over a coffee are often the most valuable. My “coffee shop group” consists of 3 small businesses owners from different industries. Between us, we generate great marketing ideas for each other or in my case, new topics for small business articles. You can easily gather a few small business owners together for this type of meeting. Just be sure they are not competitors!

The Short-Term Relationship – It seemed that every Thursday, Jerry was dating a different woman. In fact, outside of Elaine he rarely dated a woman for any length of time. Jerry understood that sometimes, you don’t want to be tied down to a long-term relationship. The same rule applies to your small business marketing activities. Too many small businesses get drawn in to long-term advertising relationships by committing to a certain amount of advertising in exchange for a discount. Those who sell advertising try to convince business owners that you can’t evaluate a particular form of advertising based on just a small sampling period, and thus a longer contract is required. This is simply not true. In the small business world, ads must at least pay for themselves before you agree to investigate any long-term advertising commitment. You’re not building the next mega conglomerate (not yet, anyway), so ad money that doesn’t produce a positive ROI is wasted money. Jerry understood that if the early part of the relationship wasn’t perfect, the rest was bound to go downhill. Apply that rule to your marketing and advertising purchases and you’ll maximize the effectiveness of your advertising. If it works on a sample basis, consider a long term plan. If it doesn’t work in the short term, give them the “it’s not you, it’s me” routine and move on.

The Superman Effect – Did you know that Superman appears or is mentioned in every Seinfeld episode? It’s true, largely because Jerry kept a Superman figurine in his apartment that popped up in the background numerous times during each episode. For small business marketers, Jerry’s Superman equates to your core business. With so many marketing opportunities to consider, it’s easy to lose sight of your primary business in pursuit of new revenue streams. Unfortunately, this can often leads to the collapse of your business. Take a page out of Jerry’s book, and be sure to keep your core business (your “Superman”) a part of everything you do, even if it is only in the background. Every opportunity and every possible marketing strategy that you consider must relate back to your core product/service offering to ensure the continuity of your business. Don’t allow yourself to become so sidetracked that you end up chasing marketing opportunities that detract from your current strengths. When evaluating a new business opportunity, ask yourself “How will this new marketing or business idea impact on my core business?” before you begin a new marketing venture.

The next time you are watching a Seinfeld Rerun, be sure to look for the hidden small business tips in each episode. You might find that it wasn’t a show about nothing after all.

Ezine Improving Verse

2008-05-30T06:09:00.000-07:00

10 Easy Tips to Improve Your Ezine

Writing and publishing an ezine is a very important part of your online business so you want to make it the best possible ezine you can. I have made mistakes and changed and re-changed my ezine many times to make it the best it can be. I am still always looking for ways to improve MOE. Over the years I have learned a few simple ways to improve my ezine. You can easily implement these tips into your ezine.

1. ALWAYS, ALWAYS have your email, along with your name and url right at the top of your ezine. Unbelievably, I have read ezines where I could NOT find the email or even the name of the publisher!!! Also at the end of your ezine have name, address, phone number, and email and url again for easy access. Nothing is worse than trying to find contact info that for some reason is invisible!

2. Make sure you also always provide your subscribe and unsubscribe info as well. I would suggest putting this info at the bottom of the ezine. If you post your unsubscribe url right at the top of your ezine it is like you are inviting your subscribers to unsubscribe.

3. Provide a forum for your readers to interact with you and your other readers. A section entitled, Reader's Corner or Reader's Comments, where they can send in their comments, questions, feedback or whatever. This gives them a chance to become a part of the ezine. This also helps build the reader- publisher relationship that is very important!

4. Keep your ezine clean and sharp looking. Don't add too many of the squiggles and decorations. They may look *cute* but they sometimes make it hard to read your ezine, thus prompting the ole' delete finger to become activated!

5. ALWAYS provide some original content. Writing articles is a great way of doing this. If you are not yet comfortable writing articles, (Yes, you can), write an editorial in each issue. Talk a bit about yourself, the latest happenings in the business, what is going on around the net, etc., things of that nature. This is a chance to bring out your personality, the main thing that makes your ezine unique!!

6. Having too many ads in each issue is a great way of bringing down the value of your ezine. I would suggest no more than 4 or 5 per issue. Reading an ezine that has 20 or 30 ads (oh yeah, I've seen them) is not very interesting or realistic. Most people would not even go through the whole thing. Here comes that delete finger again!! You want your advertisers to get more value for their money and having a limited number of ads is one of the best ways of doing this.

7. I think adding a small section for this 'n that is a good idea also. Some humor, a little fun, interesting tidbits, jokes, stories, etc. We are business men and women, but we don't have to be 100% business, 100% of the time!!

8. Privacy Policy - Put a privacy policy towards the top of the ezine. Let your readers know their privacy is safe with you and your ezine.

9. Proofread - Always proofread and double-check your text. You do not want your ezine to look like it was written by a 10 year old. Correct all spelling and grammatical errors.

10. Give your ezine an interesting and pulling name. I have subscribed to most ezines just by the name alone. If the name gets my attention, I subscribe.

Names like:

Power Promotion Ezine

Marketing Mania Ezine

Web Success Ezine

are short and to the point. They also make me want to read more.

Names like:

Internet Marketing News

John Doe's Ezine

Home Business News

are more generic and do not get my attention! They lack the "oomf" that make me want to subscribe.

I hope some of these tips give you an idea of how you can improve your ezine and make it the best it can be. Remember that ezine publishing is one of the most essential aspects of your online success. If you are in this business, you should be able to say, "I have My Own Ezine! " ;-) Good luck and success to you all!!

Author, Terri Seymour, owns and operates MyOwnEzine.com. Learn to publish and promote your own ezine. subscribe@myownezine.com.

Press Release Mythical Opus

2008-05-30T06:07:00.000-07:00

Smashing the Myth of the Press Release

A musician spends years honing his craft. He writes world-class songs and performs them in a manner that moves his listeners to tears. He records a demo tape and sends it to record labels. He gets a contract and becomes rich, famous and adored.

The lesson: demo tapes are the secret of becoming a famous musician.

Wait, you say, the demo tape was just a tool, just his way of conveying his talent. It's his ability as a musician that got him the contract and made him famous.

You're right, of course. He could have become just as famous if a record executive saw him in person, or heard about him from a friend, or as a result of a variety of other events.

Which brings us to the press release.

Somehow, the press release has taken on a magical reputation as the alpha and omega of publicity. Wanna become rich? Send out a press release. Wanna become famous? Press release. Wanna get on the cover of Newsweek? Press release.

Publicity "gurus" are springing up all over the Internet touting the press release as the answer to all marketing ills. Just knock out a release, mass e-mail it to journalists, sit back and wait for Oprah to call.

It's a cruel joke.

Here's the reality: the press release is no more important to your potential of scoring free publicity than the demo tape was to our musician friend. If he had no talent, if his songs sounded like garbage, the best recorded demo tape in the world wouldn't get him signed. Ditto for the publicity seeker. If you don't have a story to tell, your press release is utterly worthless.

I'm not knocking the press release -- it's an important tool. But it's just that: a tool. It's not the first thing you need to think about when it comes time to seek publicity. In fact, it's one of the last. And it's not even absolutely necessary (I've gotten plenty of publicity with just a pitch letter, a quick e- mail or a phone call).

If you worship at the shrine of the press release, it's time to rearrange your priorities. Here, then, are the things that are MORE important than a press release in generating publicity:

A newsworthy story. This is the equivalent of our musician's talent. It's the very basis for your publicity efforts. Without it, your press release means nothing. To learn about how to develop a newsworthy story, take a look at http://publicityinsider.com/questions.asp and scroll down to "Is my company/website/life really newsworthy?"
Learning to think like an editor. Oh, what an edge you'll have in scoring publicity over all those press release worshippers once you learn how to get inside the head of an editor. Give an editor what he wants in the way he wants it and you'll do great. I've got an entire article on the subject at http://publicityinsider.com/freesecret.asp Go there now and absorb it all. Trust me, it will make a world of difference.
Relevance. Tie in with a news event, make yourself part of a trend, piggyback on a larger competitor's story, but, by all means, make your story part of a picture that's bigger than just your company. Stories that exist in a vacuum quickly run out of oxygen.
Persistence. Sending out a press release and waiting for results is lazy and ineffective. If you really believe in your story, and you believe that it's right for a particular media outlet, you need to fight to make it happen. Call or e-mail the editor to pitch your story BEFORE sending the release. If one editor says no, try somebody else. If they all say no, come back at them with a different story angle.

Getting publicity involves so much more than just sending out a press release. Treat it as seriously and with as much respect as our newly minted rock star treats his craft and you'll be well on your way to success.

Author, Bill Stoller, the "Publicity Insider", has spent two decades as one of America's top publicists. Now, through his website, eZine and subscription newsletter, Free Publicity: The Newsletter for PR-Hungry Businesses http://www.PublicityInsider.com/freepub.asp he's sharing -- for the very first time -- his secrets of scoring big publicity. For free articles, killer publicity tips and much, much more, visit Bill's exclusive new site: http://www.PublicityInsider.com.

Marketing Striking Ode

2008-05-30T06:06:00.000-07:00

When the Clock Strikes Twelve!

I just finished reading another sales copy ending with the Deadline Marketing!

And it's the sixth I see today saying "If you order by midnight, blah blah blah...."

I'm sure you've seen it. And I'm sure you're getting (if not very) a little bored.

The deadline trick has proven itself to be overwhelmingly successful. It's a deadly-effective "countdown trigger" that pushes reluctant people to ACT at the scene.

BUT right now the Internet is getting OVERCROWDED with sales letters that try to lure you in with the deadlines.

And now what happens is when prospects get to witness this technique too often, they learn to catch up. They learn NOT to buy it!

So be "extra careful". It's been OVERUSED!! Imagine how your prospects will feel when they come across your website and see that your sales copy is not different from others. Imagine yourself in their shoes!

What's WORSE is not keeping the deadlines...

A lot of marketers specifically use the deadlines to explode their sales faster. And their sales letters are forever like that....with the NEVER-ending deadlines. So prospects can't help but lose faith in the deadlines.

You could easily risk losing your credibility from your prospects, if they check up on your site again and still find the same "midnight deadline" technique.

This is critical. If you use the deadline, make sure you keep it. When you say the promotion is ending as soon as the clock "strikes at twelve", prove that you really MEAN it!

Once your prospects see that the discount really ends like you said it would, they'll regret not having bought from you earlier.

Now that they know you always keep your words, they'll keep in mind not to let the next opportunity slip away. Next time they won't wait for another second to buy from you!

What I have for you here is a groundbreaking idea for your deadline marketing...

Instead of saying,

"If you don't delay and order now, you'll get 50% off. The original price is $100, but order now and you pay only $50. Order before midnight and you'll get this special price. Remember if you order after midnight, expect to pay $100!"

SAY,

"Take an unfair advantage of our online marketing test. For 7 days only, our company decides to slash 50% off the original price in order to see whether pricing affects sales. In our doing so, you are the one who gains! During our marketing test, don't pay us $100. Keep $50 to yourself now!"

See the difference? Feel the impact?

If you decide to use the deadline marketing, don't forget to make it right and make the most out of it.

Apart from writing a HARD-TO-SAY-NO deadline, here is the "one-of-a-kind" tool to accelerate your prospects' buying decision....

Go get yourself a dynamic countdown javascript and put it on your site...

http://www.dynamicdrive.com

It's FREE! And it works like miracle. Believe it or not? People tend to feel the rush to act when they see the clock ticking!

P.S. Be different. You can still offer the deadlines, but make sure you take a different approach!

The author, Jaruda Boonsuwan, is offering one-of-its-kind, deadly-effective copywriting e-course -- at NO charge. Beat your competitors now at http://www.groundbreakcopywriting.com

5 Marketing Poems

2008-05-30T06:01:00.000-07:00

The New 5 P's!

NO! When I say "5 P's", I'm not talking about the big 5 P's of marketing everyone's familiar with.

Here I'm NOT referring to Product, Price, Place, Promotion and Package!

But I'm talking about the FRESHEST 5 P's I believe will be extra useful for your websites and newsletters.

Are you ready to discover the hottest 5 P's?

1. P.S.

This writing technique alone will shoot your sales to the roof!

Count how many times this week you skip reading the whole sales copies and go right for a P.S.

We don't like reading a long letter. Most of the time, we skip. So, it's a clever idea to give your prospects a big bang with a P.S. They never skip reading a P.S.

Perhaps they're too bored or too tired to read "another" sales letter. Perhaps they like to cheat and want to see the final punch, if it's right for them or not.

So, make sure you wrap up all of your ICE-MELTING "selling points" in here! Shrink your message. Make it precise. Make your prospects feel they can't live "comfortably" without your product or service. After all, it's your last shot to make a sale!

2. PASS

People love a free pass, even if it's only temporary!

Don't worry if you don't know how to let people type in the password to access your restricted area. It's not the end of the world. Here's where you can get the script for FREE at...

http://www.dynamicdrive.com

Here's a cutting-edge trick: Give them a free password to access your newsletter/ article archives, for example, in exchange for their email addresses. Do not give them the password right at your website. Instead, send them the password by email.

Now, this is important...Set up an autoresponder to do this task. Make sure they get their passwords instantly. They can't wait another minute longer to access the free section. It's a MUST that you have an autoresponder, especially if you publish a newsletter. Get it at...

http://www.mailloop.com/t.cgi/769736/

Now this is important! Do not make this offer sound like a junk! You can say that you're giving away "free membership". Say it is a "privileged" or a "VIP" pass. Or simply say that they're "the chosen one". This way, your prospects will be eager to get the free access you're offering. It's human nature. We all want to be a Very Important Person!

3. PROMISE

You've got to promise your prospects something important...like money-back guarantee.

But don't just say "one-year, money-back guarantee"!

Do say..."And if 365 days from now, you decide you want your money back, I'll ask you absolutely no questions. And even if it's just because you're $27 short and can't buy some beers, I still won't ask you why. You'll get your money back as soon as you say so. I can guarantee you that!"

4. PICK OF THE DAY

When you go to a restaurant, the first thing you always notice is the "Menu of the Day"! Even if you don't order it, you're still curious to see what's new for today, right?

The same thing works with your website. Once your prospects leave your site -- without signing up for your free newsletter, your business depends on pure LUCK.

Too bad people don't buy the first time they see you. And if you still want to win them back, you might have to spend some more bucks on advertising.

Now, it doesn't have to be this way...The only one reason that'll keep people coming back to your site is something NEW every day!

Showcase the "Pick of the Day". And they'll come back to your site from time to time to see what's new.

See? You don't even have to pay for the traffic. It can be "Tip of the Day", "Site of the Week", "Star of the Month", ....anything you can think of!

5. PIECE OF ADVICE

How many times have you read newsletters chock full of the word "buy now"?

This is the mistake that can drive your subscribers away faster than jet speed! Your prospects want to read something useful. They simply don't want another junk mail. If you don't stop selling to them --just for a second-- you'll risk losing them forever. They'll disappear "out of your sight".

So, in your newsletter, try to give them little tips that teach them how to make their lives easier.

Suppose you're selling a beauty product, instead of hard selling, try giving them a short makeup tip of how to make their lips look fuller.

If you're an affiliate for a used car website and running your own ezine, instead of selling cars all the time, try giving them a reliable tip that teaches them how not to get ripped off buying a used car.

P.S. Give it a try. I'm sure these freshest 5 P's can easily add the punch to your websites or newsletters next time you decide to try something new.

The author, Jaruda Boonsuwan, is offering one-of-its-kind, deadly-effective copywriting e-course -- at NO charge. Beat your competitors now at http://www.groundbreakcopywriting.com

Gift Ideas Serenade

2008-05-13T23:34:00.000-07:00

Girlfriend Gift Ideas

Whether you’re buying for the holidays, birthdays or special occasions, girlfriend gift ideas can be hard to come buy. Here’s a list of top gift ideas.

Girlfriend Gift Ideas

Unless this is your first girlfriend, I’ll assume you know jewelry tops the list of best girlfriend gift ideas. That being the case, we’ll skip to non-jewelry ideas you can afford. You can find all of these gift ideas online by just searching for them on your search engine of choice.

1. 1,000 Thread Count Sheets – .This is a serious luxury item. The softness of a sheet is determined by the thread count. Thread counts are the number of horizontal and vertical threads in one square inch of sheet. Typical thread counts are from 70 to 340 or so. 1,000 thread counts are so soft she will lose her mind. She might never get out of bed! Expect to pay $200 for this pampering girlfriend gift.

2. Down Memory Foam Slippers – Slippers? Yes, but not just any slippers. It is winter and she needs something comfortable and warm. The slippers conform to her feet and are made with duck down. They are super warm and, unlike other slippers, can be worn both indoors and outdoors. Expect to pay $45 or so with online retailers.

3. Eyesseuse – The grind of daily life can get her in a bad mood by the time she comes home. This, of course, is bad news for you what with the headaches and all. The Eyesseuse comes to the rescue. The device is worn over the eyes like ski goggles. The device then applies heat, pulses and air pressure to the area around her eyes. This promotes blood circulation and relieves stress around the eye area. Essentially, it is a massage for her eyes and she’ll be feeling chipper in no time. Expect to pay in the range of $50 for this gift.

4. Nomad Writing Journals – If she loves the outdoors or traveling, Nomad Writing Journals make great gifts. These journals are tailored to activities such as travel, fly fishing, bird watching, backpacking, camping, rock climbing and so on. They come with or without a case and provide writing space as well as cues for writing down important information. A great keepsake for her to preserve travel and outdoor experiences. The journals cost as low as $9 without waterproof case and $25 with case.

These girlfriend gift ideas should give a good starting place for buying your girlfriend gifts. Just don’t forget the jewelry!

Author, Rick Chapo, is with http://www.nomadjournals.com - makers of writing journals for travel and outdoor activities. Writing journals make great Christmas gifts for her.

Orgasm Verse

2008-05-13T23:31:00.000-07:00

Ogoplex

I recently tried ogoplex, a supplement that originated in Europe. I had heard that ogoplex could make orgasms during sex better for men. Better doesn't even begin to describe what ogoplex can do.

I'm sure most of you are familiar with a woman's ability to have multiple orgasms. As men, we're fairly spent after one. When I was younger, I could recover after a short rest and jump back in the saddle. However, as my age has progressed, that ability has diminished. In fact, before ogoplex, I used to roll over and fall asleep.

Not anymore.

Ogoplex allows me to have multiple, powerful orgasms...one right after another. I have never felt climaxes like this in my entire life. I have had more orgasms in one romantic encounter with my partner than I used to have in a week of sex. The amount of stamina I now have seems to be perpetuated by the feeling that I could go all night. Instead of ten seconds of pleasure, I reach a place I've never been before with continual, wonderful orgasms that I never thought possible. The effect on my partner has been nothing but positive, and she has repeatedly said that we are experiencing the best sex of our relationship. I've always enjoyed sex, but ogoplex has made me appreciate how great it can really be.

Guys, I don't know about you, but if there is one thing in my life I could use more of, it would have to be money...followed closely by orgasms. In all seriousness, I never thought in a million years that my sex life could be this rewarding. I look forward to it more than ever and because it has made me a better lover, my partner is more than happy to oblige. What used to be a 15 minute affair now lasts all night, and I finally feel like I am pleasing her to the fullest extent possible. Not only that, I feel like a new man. When you are able to enjoy sex as I have been recently, it puts a whole new perspective on time spent with your lover.

I encourage you to give ogoplex a try. I think that once you've experienced what it can do, you'll never look at sex the same way again.

Author, Kingston Amadan. To learn more about Ogoplex or to order visit http://www.male-enhancement-pills.net/ogoplex.html.

Gift Ideas Opus

2008-05-13T23:29:00.000-07:00

Female Gift Ideas

The holidays are quickly approaching which means you need to start thinking of gift ideas for the females in your life. Here are a few female gift ideas.

Female Gift Ideas

Female sounds like a strange word to use in this article, but there really isn’t any other way to group moms, wives, girlfriends, sisters, daughters and so on. With that in mind, here are the top female gift ideas, which you can find online by just searching for each name.

1. Sonic Stain Remover – .The Sonic Stain Remover is an electric clothing stain remover. It uses ultrasonic vibrations to literally shake the stain off of clothing without doing any damage to the clothing. Will tackle tough stains, even spaghetti sauce and coffee spills. The Sonic Stain Remover will run you as low as $23.99 online.

2. Medi-Points Foot Massager – Think she looks great in those high heels? Well, there killing her feet. Unless you want to be rubbing them all night, you’ll want to invest in the Medi-Points Foot Massager. This foot massager dominates the market because it actually straps her feet down onto the magic balls. Designed by acupuncturist, this gift will bring a sigh from her after a day of hoofing it around in those stilts she calls shoes. You can find it online for $95 to $100.

3. Snore Stopper – This is one of the gifts you give her, but she gives to you, your dad or whomever. The Snore Stopper is a watch-like device that is specially designed to stop people from snoring. It works by giving the snorer a little zing every time they start snoring. It doesn’t hurt, but is just strong enough to force the body to stop snoring. Eventually, the process will train the mind to control the sleeping process in a way that prevents snoring. No snoring means she’ll finally get some sleep! You can expect to pay in the $45 range online.

Whether she’s your mom, girlfriend, wife or, yes, even a sister, she’s important to you. These female gift ideas are a good place to start when buying for her this holiday season.

Author, Rick Chapo, is with http://www.nomadjournals.com - makers of writing journals for travel and outdoor activities. Writing journals make great Christmas gifts for her.