Working Moms Against Guilt

Cutting Back on Holiday Shopping?

2009-11-30T11:04:00.000-05:00

I was a little surprised when I saw the results of a new BabyCenter Holiday Survey, which showed that moms plan to spend 32% more on gifts this holiday season.

Really? I'm not. If anything, I'll be spending less on gifts this season. I know, sounds sacrilegious to say that on "Cyber Monday."

Maybe it's because I quit my job in September and started freelancing from home. We're quite a bit shorter on cash than we were last year.

But I also am thinking of my friends and family, many of whom have tighter budgets for various reasons. Shelling out $25, $30 or more per person to get random stuff (another bath and body gift set? candles? books I don't have time to read?) just seems so wasteful -- and hard on anyone who's hurting for money right now.

Hubs and I decided to make a few "gentleman's agreements" (or should it be "gentleperson's agreements"?) with our close friends and family: No gifts for the grownups this year. Yeah, that's right. Are you shocked? Horrified? Thinking I'm the Second Coming of Scrooge?

I'm really just trying to save everyone money and hassle. Photos and cards are always appreciated, of course -- especially of those we don't get to see much. You want to bake us some cookies? I won't complain (hard to do when your mouth is full of cookies). Here's an idea: Watch my kids for an evening so Hubs and I can go out for a date. And I would love to do the same for you -- or something equivalent that doesn't cost lots of dough but shows how much I care.

This holiday season, I want to focus on what truly matters: family, friendship, gratitude for the good things in life, delight, twinkly lights, maybe some snow if we're lucky. If that makes me a Scrooge, well, I guess all I can say is "Bah humbug!"

Giving Thanks

2009-11-26T10:58:00.003-05:00

My family thinks it's corny when I make us go around the table and say one thing we're thankful for.

But really? There's no such thing as being too thankful, or overly expressing gratitude. So at the risk of sounding like a giant Cheeto, I'm going to share what I'm thankful for right now. And I encourage you to take a moment or two to add your own items to the list! Why not tell the Internets what makes you grateful?

I'm thankful for ...

My sweet, round, giggly baby James
My sassy, loving, imaginative big girl Cassie
My loyal husband Jay who has stuck by me all these years and still thinks I'm beautiful
Having a safe, decent home in a safe, decent neighborhood
Always having enough to eat (well, a bit more than enough) and clothes to wear
Good health for me and my family
Being able to work from home and have more time with my kids
A family who loves and supports me
Dear friends here, there and everywhere who make me laugh, help me out, and like me just as I am
Blogs, bloggy friends, blogging and people who read/comment on my blogs
Barack Obama as our president
My DVR and all the good shows on it
Having two paid off cars that are running well

Now it's your turn ...

Daddy's Working On It, Veruca!

2009-11-23T14:47:00.008-05:00

I'm so ashamed. I have officially become *that* parent. The kind of parent I used to laugh at and deride as a shmoe. I'm a Tickle Me Elmo mom!

Except it's not Tickle Me Elmo. It's those &%#@ed Zhou Zhou Pets!

Have you heard of them? They're these little animatronic hamsters that run through a maze of little tubes, ride in mini-cars and basically act like glorified wind-up toys. For some reason they are THE HOT THING for Christmas this year.

And I just let my mother spend $50 on Amazon for one.

$50 - for a toy that normally would retail for $10. This after I realized people were lining up outside of Toys R Us and Target every morning hoping to snag one of the little buggers. I even drove to one of the stores the other morning, hoping to get lucky. I did not, however, wait in line, and for this I am proud.

In my defense, I wouldn't normally go all gaga over the latest "must have" toy. I still feel the same way I did when parents were climbing all over each other for Tickle Me Elmo. But here's what happened.

My daughter saw commercials for these things over the summer and wanted one, so I told her I'd treat her if she did a good job her first week of kindergarten. She was so excited when we went to the store, only to find that nobody carried Zhou Zhou Pets. No problem, I thought, I'll go online and order. Which I did. From Target. AND THE STUPID THINGS STILL HAVE NOT ARRIVED! (I just checked my order, and it says they haven't shipped yet, but the estimated arrival date is November 18. OK...)

So, for the past three months, every time the UPS guy comes (or simply drives by our house), my daughter gets insanely happy. "My Zhou Zhou Pets are here! My Zhou Zhou Pets are here!" Only no, it's not the Zhou Zhou Pets, it's a CPA study book for Daddy or clothes for her little sister. The other day, when the Zhou Zhou Pets commercial came on TV, she started crying. And normally that wouldn't phase me, but I'd offered them to her as a treat for starting school and the child doesn't understand the whole "people are knifing each other to get these things and apparently Target is lining its shelves with any they can get instead of fulfilling their online orders first, so sorry, Sweetie, that's the law of supply and demand, and Mama will camp out to get you into a good school but she's not going to camp out for a stupid wind-up hampster" thing.

I finally called my mom to see if she could keep her eye out for Zhou Zou Pets in Manhattan, Kansas, because maybe people there are not as crazy as people here in Cincinnati. Unfortunately, though, Zhou Zhou mania has hit the entire freaking Midwest because Mom couldn't find one in the Little Apple. Finally, she decided to just order a hamster at Amazon.

For $50.

So help me, God, my daughter better love and cherish and sleep with that thing until it falls apart. Because I know by February the stores won't be able to give them away. Meanwhile, I feel like Veruca Salt's dad from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Not because my daughter has behaved like a spoiled brat, but because I'm so ashamed of what I've become.

What about you, WMAGs? Is there a toy for which you're willing to sacrifice your dignity this holiday season?

(Oh, and Target, WTH?!?! You can send shipments of Zhou Zhou Pets to your stores for all of the people who are willing to line up for them, but you can't fulfill an online order that was placed BACK IN AUGUST? I haven't canceled that order, btw. If one of your little elves happens to read this, perhaps they can check and see what's taking so freaking long, kthxbai.)

Happy, Healthy Holidays - Love, Dr. Oz

2009-11-22T22:56:00.003-05:00

Last week, I had a rare and fun opportunity to chat with Oprah's favorite doctor, Dr. Mehmet Oz (whom I happen to like sooo much better than Dr. Phil). Dr. Oz is just so smart and yet down-to-earth. I appreciate how he dispenses succinct medical advice without any of the guilt some TV docs like to layer on.

So anyway, our chat happened to be via phone, along with a few (not sure how many) other bloggers, and the topic was supposed to be "Toxic Holiday Travel" to promote The Dr. Oz Show episode airing on Tuesday, Nov. 24.

I tweeted some nice little tips I gleaned from the call -- some about healthy holidays, a few random others you might find helpful. Here's a quick roundup in case you didn't have your eyes glued to Twitter at that particular time (and I'm leaving them in Twitterese, NOT because I'm lazy, but because it captures the spirit of the conversation. OK, it's because I'm lazy.):

Breastfeeding and need extra vitamin D? Sun exposure is best (15 min. daily) plus vitamin D supplements.

H1N1 vaccine is safe (for moms and kids). Other flu-fighters: sleep, exercise, vitamin D, maintain healthy weight, reduce sugar.

Flying for the holidays? Your coughs are ventilated to your seat neighbors. Aim air vent at your chest to push away "bad air."

Don't use glasses in hotel bathrooms-they're not sanitized. Opt 4 plastic cups. TV remotes R germy too, so sanitize B4 U channel-surf.

Don't skimp on sleep during holidays and you'll reduce extra holiday stress. Also, lay off the booze for a good night's sleep.

Just say no to some of those events and parties so you don't overschedule during the holidays -- exercise your mental resilience.

Should you give your kids 1 or 2 shots of #H1N1 vaccine? 1 shot should be enough - just don't treat symptoms day of shot.

Don't isolate young kids during holiday celebrations -- they're stronger for the general exposure (except for confirmed sickies).

Dr. Oz show on Monday will focus on latest breast cancer/mammogram reco's. He's been getting 1000's of calls, emails, etc.

No need for expensive vitamin supps for kids - once-daily multivitamins are fine. Add DHA omega-3 for brain development.

Must-pack drug for holiday travel: Pepto-Bismol! (incidentally, my former client)

Friday Finds - Nov. 20, 2009

2009-11-20T09:48:00.006-05:00

Sara's Find

When Shawna at The Red Studio offered a free sitting to photograph my kids in exchange for a possible mention on our blog, I said sure! Christmas is coming and I needed grandparent gifts, plus I had to capture this wonderful time in their lives. Shawna and her mom, who run the studio together, were marvelous. They worked together to get the little ones smiling and offered creative suggestions for poses to help them look their best. I'm thrilled with the results. If you live in the Cincinnati/Lebanon area, and you're looking for great family photography, check them out!

Susan's Finds

-- Baby in a Bag. Winter's coming, so how to keep wee babies warm while they sleep? Blankies are out -- SIDS risk and all. My dear friend/babysitter Karen suggested a European-style sleep sack to help Baby James stay all toasty and cozy while he snoozes. We both searched around the Internets and found Baby in a Bag. Ordered one and have used it for several weeks now -- LOVE IT. It's like a sleeping bag with arm holes. At around $25 each (plus $4.95 flat-fee shipping), Baby in a Bag is a very good deal.

-- WoMo: The Book, the Blog. The authors of an upcoming book about working mom moments, Marcie and Aimee, found WMAG through Twitter. We're glad you did and reached out. Your WoMo book project in the works looks awesome, and we're enjoying the accompanying blog, WoMoments, too.

-- Food with a Sense of Humor. Have you seen FunnySpoon.com? It's the cooking site for real life. This recipe and cooking resource can help you create simple, quick meals at home that are healthy, nutritious and taste great (much better than frozen meals or fast food!). Also check out the FunnySpoon blog.

Hellllooooooooooo Monday!

2009-11-19T11:21:00.004-05:00

I should’ve known that when my Jazzercise instructor’s iPod gave out smack dab in the middle of our 5:45 am class, it wasn’t an ominous sign to her Monday, as she suggested, but instead a warning to me. (And yes, Jazzercise. HUSH. It’s really, really fun!)

Or maybe I should’ve known even earlier that morning. Like when I checked my email at 5:15 am (before the aforementioned Jazzercise class) and discovered that, due to some illness and prior engagements, I was being asked to present at the all-company Monday morning meeting.

Which started at 8:30 am.

And I had yet to see the PowerPoint presentation.

Yes, yes, looking back, that probably should’ve been my first clue. The iPod failure would’ve been my second.

Yet, I headed to Jazzercise knowing I’d be cutting it close time-wise, but it was doable. After all, the all-company meeting is a series of presentations, not just one, and presenters who were forced to bail had requested their (now my) presentation be last. I’d have plenty of time. Sort of. And heck I woke up at 5:10! I had to get something out of it—workout it was.

The iPod failure at class threw things slightly off schedule, as there was scrambling for a secondary music source. I rushed home after my semi-botched workout attempt, with about an hour or so to get home, showered, dressed, and on my way to work.

Of course, OF COURSE things at home didn’t *quite* go as well as planned , with a preschooler, needy cat and barky, constipated dog, but I kept pretty much on schedule. I was rushing out the door at 8 a.m. when I realized one of my tires was a little low. Ruh-roh. I stopped to get air at a gas station, but the air pumper thing was a hot mess (as was I at this point). It simply blasted more air around my tire than actually in the tire. No matter, I finally got enough air in there and went about my merry way.

Then I got stuck in traffic.

And then it was 8:25, and I was still five minutes from the office—not including the time I needed to park in my lot and walk the couple of blocks to the building. Eek. I decided to forgo the parking lot and park in a meter closer the building.

But then.

I couldn’t find change to feed the meter. The purse that is usually heavy with coins suddenly had none. Finally found a few stray nickels and dimes after rummaging around the floorboards and under the seats of my car.

It was 8:35, and I was rushing up the elevator and into the conference room (more a wide open space with a screen on the wall than conference room) where the entire company (200+) gathers for our weekly all-company meeting. (Looking lovely, I’m sure, by this time.) The meeting hadn’t begun! I had made it! And with time to spare! Woot!

Except wait.

Someone didn’t get the memo, and my presentation wasn’t moved until the end of the meeting. It was still first—they were calling my name as I was throwing my bags onto the ground. Yeah.

But I did it, it went fairly well, and now it’s a working-mom morning to look back on and chuckle.

Well, maybe in a few more days.

Ever had a morning like this? I have to think they happen semi-regularly for the working mom masses. They are for me, anyway, the last one included some dog poo. I'm not alone, right?

Working Moms Losing More Custody Battles

2009-11-19T10:50:00.002-05:00

Back in the day, moms usually were awarded custody of the kids in divorce cases, just because the courts assumed mom knew best. But nowadays, in "these troubled economic times" as they say, more moms are working, fewer dads are working, and courts are starting to award custody to stay-at-home dads (not to mention alimony). Ouch.

A new article in Working Mother magazine examines this new trend of working moms in uphill custody battles. Here's an excerpt:

The “tender years doctrine,” a court presumption that mothers are the more suitable parent for children under 7, was abolished in most states in 1994. And, due in large part to the recession, women are poised to outnumber men in the workforce for the first time in American history. Job layoffs affecting more men than women have yielded a burgeoning crop of Mr. Moms.

“Men are now able to argue that they spend more time with the kids than their working wives do,” says veteran New York City divorce attorney Raoul Felder. “This is one of the dark sides of women’s accomplishments in the workplace—they’re getting a raw deal in custody cases, while men are being viewed more favorably.”

It's upsetting to think that judges see moms' employment as a negative. Any judge who's been a mom would know that for all the hours we work, we still spend p-l-e-n-t-y of time with our kids, caring for them, cleaning the house, doing it all. Even moms with stay-at-home husbands will tell you that Mom is still Mom, doing all the bajillion things society assumes Mom will do -- whether or not you have a husband caring for the kids during the day.

Did you or someone you know get the short end of the custody stick because of being a working mom? What do you think of this new trend? I'd love to hear WMAG thoughts on this.

Working for the Woman (Me!)

2009-11-16T10:24:00.006-05:00

I have worked for The Man since 1998, when I graduated from college (except for a short hiatus during grad school).

Sure, it had its perks, like a regular paycheck, benefits, 401(k) matches, paid vacation and sick days, that sort of thing.

Yet I always had this irritating little voice in my head reminding me that my employer was always getting the better end of the deal. The harder I worked, the more they benefited. I might get a little something too, like a promotion or small raise, even a little bonus from time to time.

But if I came up with smart, creative ideas that made big profits or saved the company money -- or more typically, worked my ass off nights and weekends without overtime pay -- I could help my employer pocket thousands or even hundreds of thousands of dollars in profit. The thought made my paycheck seem mighty puny in comparison some days.

Now, I'm self-employed as a writer, blogger, and social media junkie. No regular paychecks anymore. Benefits have to come through the Hubs' full-time gig. If I take a day off, no one's paying me for it. But I'm finally working for The Woman (aka, me!) I've always wanted to do this, and now I'm making my dream come true. Gotta tell you, it feels pretty good.

Here's one reason: I get to choose who I work with/for. For instance, my latest client is Mom Corps, a staffing agency that specializes in connecting experienced professionals with flexible work. I'm helping the Cincinnati franchise get new candidates by spreading the word through Twitter (follow @MomCorpsCincy), Facebook (become a fan, won't you?), LinkedIn (connect with the Cincinnati owner), blogs (in development right now) and other social media. HOW COOL IS THAT? My client also happens to be a very cool WMAG (and happened to attend high school with Sara -- small world!) who has been delightful to work with.

Doing this type of job doesn't even feel like "work" -- it's what I do for fun. Yet, I'm getting paid for it. And the harder I work, the better ideas I generate, the more profit for me, The Woman.

Now I just have to figure out how to be as efficient as possible during my very precious, limited child-free hours, so I can do more awesome work like what I'm doing for Mom Corps and bring home the bacon my way!

Friday Finds - November 13, 2009

2009-11-13T08:43:00.003-05:00

Cara's Finds

--Great pre-Black Friday deals! Some of the best deals are happening before Black Friday this year. Here's what looks good this weekend:

Wii Guitar Hero just 39.88 at Big Lots (11/14-11/21)
Toys R Us 2-Day Mega Sale (today at 3 pm - 11/15 at 1 pm)--Lots of great toys on sale, including Playskool's Riding Triceratops which usually retails for $279, now $79.99! Be sure to use the awesome coupons Toys R Us has been sending out in the newspaper circulars to save even more.

Sweet Dreams of a Good Night's Sleep

2009-11-11T21:56:00.008-05:00

Please welcome our latest guest blogger, Debi Silber, The Mojo Coach. Her first post on WMAG is about a working mom's most precious natural resource: sleep. (Photo at right is of my sweet baby James and me taking a little snooze.) See the bottom of this post for details on how to win a 30-minute coaching session with Debi.

Are you getting enough sleep? According to the latest survey from the Better Sleep Council, 68% of American women admit to getting less than 8 hours of sleep per night. You can bet that percentage is higher among moms!

Sleep eludes some of us because stresses in our lives make it difficult to quiet down and relax when it is time to go to bed. For others, nighttime interruptions keep us from getting the sleep we need.

The truth is, in order to function adequately your body requires seven to eight hours of sleep per night. Without adequate sleep, we’re left feeling irritable, cranky, short-fused, emotionally unstable, mentally cloudy, groggy, fatigued – and overweight.

And the stress and sleep cycle continues. Once you’re sleep deprived, cortisol and other stress hormones are released, which disrupt the normal rhythm of your sleep cycle. Instead of waking and feeling refreshed, high cortisol levels leave you feeling groggy and fatigued. If that weren’t bad enough, this high cortisol level that’s released during times of little sleep also increases your appetite for high fat, high sugar foods. And when we are tired, two of the ways we attempt to increase our energy are by taking in simple carbohydrates and caffeine.

Taking in simple carbohydrates (sugar) can give you a quick energy boost, but it’s also one of the easiest ways to gain weight. The calories add up quickly, you’re never full or satisfied, and the resulting sugar crash can leave you looking for another boost almost immediately.

Seeking energy through caffeine is also a recipe for trouble. You may feel nervous, anxious and shaky. While you may have an additional energy boost from the caffeine, your body still needs rest. This can result in that feeling of being “tired and wired”. You may be able to get through your day, but the artificial energy takes you further away from a healthy, balanced sleep cycle. Without healthy sleep, the stress hormones have no opportunity to rebalance, the immune system is unable to repair itself and we experience physical, mental and emotional wear and tear.

Sleep, stress, and sugar turn into a vicious cycle.

I could tell you to make sure you get those hours in and settle for nothing less. And if you could make it happen, you would see the health benefits that come from adequate, quality sleep. But for many of us, our level of sleep is not a matter of choice.

If you have young children, it may not be realistic to get those seven or eight hours of sleep, no matter what. If you are doing late night feedings, your child is having nightmares, or having trouble staying asleep, the idea of a full night’s sleep may seem priceless, but not possible. In this case, the best option may be to nap if and when you can. Even an extra fifteen or twenty minutes somewhere in your day can do wonders to refuel and recharge your body and mind.

If getting more sleep seems impossible, there are strategies you can use to make the sleep you do get more effective.

1.) Limit your caffeine and try to avoid caffeine in the afternoon and evening. The caffeine that may help you get through your afternoon will interfere with restful sleep later. Coffee, tea, soda and chocolate all contain caffeine, so use them all with discretion.

2.) Put yourself in the best mental state for sleep. Putting your thoughts, ideas, and concerns in writing and then setting them aside may help you feel better able to relax. Keeping paper and a pencil by the bed to write down any thoughts or “to dos” for the next day can help you get back to sleep quickly instead of worrying and getting up to do “one last thing”.

3.) Develop a sleep routine. Try to go to sleep at the same time, make the room dark and cool, play soft music or “white noise”. Taking a warm bath, meditating, or reading something light could all be part of your routine to prepare for sleep.

4.) Make sure your room is clean, serene and comfortable. A messy room with paperwork sitting around may remind you of all you need to do and increase your stress.

Try some of these strategies to improve the quality of your sleep. Once you’re well rested and your stress hormones are under control, you’ll be less dependent on sugar and caffeine to get through your day. Getting your sleep back on track can be a major building block for getting your mojo back!

Win a Session with the Mojo Coach
Debi Silber has generously offered to give one lucky reader a 30-minute coaching session with her (via phone) -- every month. So if you read her posts and think, "Yeah, I think this Mojo Coach could help me out," enter the monthly giveaway and you might just get a chance to chat with her (a $200 value, by the way).

To enter the first monthly Mojo Coach Giveaway, send us an email at workingmomsagainstguilt@gmail.com with the subject line "Mojo Coach" no later than Nov. 30. We'll select one entrant to be coached in the way of the mojo. Then in December, we'll do it all over again!

Debi Silber, MS, RD, WHC The Mojo Coach® is a Registered Dietitian with a Master's degree in Nutrition Science. She's a Certified Personal Trainer, Whole Health Coach, Lifestyle Expert - just for moms, speaker and the author of The Lifestyle Fitness Program: A Six Part Plan So Every Mom Can Look, Feel and Live Her Best and From Mom To Wow: Your Ultimate Body, Mind and Life Makeover Guide. Debi’s been branded The Mojo Coach® because for nearly 20 years she’s motivated overweight, overwhelmed and unfit moms to “get their mojo back” through gradual, lifestyle change. Sign up for a free report, 52 weeks of weekly tips and a subscription to Debi’s newsletter Mojo Moments at www.TheMojoCoach.com.

A Little Help from the Mojo Coach

2009-11-11T21:11:00.003-05:00

I think it's a small miracle when I meet a working mom who's in great physical shape. If you manage to make time for daily exercise and nutritious meals and snacks -- and feel good about your body -- I admire you greatly.

Before I got preggers a year ago, I was on my way to rediscovering my healthy mojo. I lost 60 lbs., worked out 5 times a week, brought my healthy lunches to work every day, and actually enjoyed shopping for clothes.

Now ... *sigh*. I've got the post-baby weight and not a lotta mojo to lose it. That's what I am super excited to introduce a new guest blogger here on WMAG: Debi Silber, The Mojo Coach. With a nickname like that, she's sure to inspire us all to take better care of ourselves, right?

Debi is a registered dietitian with a master's degree in nutrition science and a certified personal trainer. For nearly 20 years, she’s motivated overweight, overwhelmed and unfit moms to “get their mojo back” through gradual, lifestyle change. Let's hope her occasional posts here can help our mojo along (mine included).

Win a Session with the Mojo Coach
Now here's the really cool part: Debi has generously offered to give one lucky reader a 30-minute coaching session with her (via phone) -- every month. So if you read her posts and think, "Yeah, I think this Mojo Coach could help me out," enter the monthly giveaway and you might just get a chance to chat with her (a $200 value, by the way).

To enter the first monthly Mojo Coach Giveaway, send us an email at workingmomsagainstguilt@gmail.com with the subject line "Mojo Coach" no later than Nov. 30. We'll select one entrant to be coached in the way of the mojo. Then in December, we'll do it all over again!

Stay tuned for some motivating posts from Debi!

What Do I Do With All This Stuff?

2009-11-10T10:40:00.002-05:00

All the wonderful works of art, scribbles and assorted school papers that my 3-year-old has created over the past year or so have been piling up long enough. It's time to do something with them.

I guess I should have had a plan for them sooner, but, well ... you know. My to-do list has grown rather large, and organizing kid papers keeps falling to the bottom of the list. Alert the Bad Mom Police!

So I've got scads of her stuff and no clue what to do next. Am I supposed to scan each paper and create a digital scrapbook? Do I include the dates she created them, or at least a year? Do I put everything into file folders and keep them for posterity? Just tossing everything in the trash seems tempting for the short-term, but feels wrong. Maybe I should choose a few of the "best" examples to save and trash the rest?

I'm turning to you, WMAG friends. What can I do to preserve my child's educational legacy that won't take up tons of room or my time?

Working Mom Power!

2009-11-06T15:22:00.002-05:00

I just wanted to pop on here this afternoon and send a shout out to a working mom who is a REAL hero. We now are learning that the civilian police officer who stopped the shooting rampage in Fort Hood yesterday was Kimberly Munley, mom to a 3-year-old daughter and, from what it sounds like, one tough cookie.

"You go, girl" doesn't begin to do justice to the bravery this lady displayed. I'm proud it was a woman and a mom who took down that disturbed man, saving countless lives. Well done!

Friday Finds - November 6, 2009

2009-11-06T09:00:00.001-05:00

Sara's Finds

-- It's always a "find" when you discover somebody who can make you look great, even when you've just had a baby. As readers may already know (and are probably sick of hearing), I've got a book coming out in the next year or so, and I needed a good photo to go on my dust cover. I turned to Sarah Diebold, who not only got some awesome shots but also managed to airbrush out the dark under-eye circles and other signs of post-baby fatigue. Here's one of the shots I'm thinking of giving to my publishing house. Cincinnati-area authors, if you're looking for a good head shot, check Sarah out!

-- My husband and I were both hard at work on our respective computers the other night, when he started cracking up. Turns out he'd just discovered failblog.org, where you can watch regular people doing stupid stuff. Sort of like the Darwin awards, except nobody dies. (Though I sort of wonder whether anybody made it out of that forklift accident alive...)

Susan's Finds

-- The Stork Has Arrived: Need a fast, free way to announce the birth of a new baby? BabyCenter now has online birth announcements. They're really cute and only take about a minute to create.

-- New Mom Blogger Book: Some of our favorite bloggers contributed essays to the new book See Mom Run: Side-Splitting Essays from the World's Most Harried Blogging Moms, edited by Role Mommy Beth Feldman. Get more details about the book launch tour and see videos of moms' "most harried moments" (of those, I've had a few) at the Role Mommy site.

-- Free Access to Sitters and More: Today through Sunday, Care.com is having another "free weekend," when you can gain access to full profiles for nearby care providers, contact them directly to set up interviews, check references, and request background checks for free. In addition to babysitters and nannies, Care.com also has in its database senior caregivers, special needs care providers, tutors, pet sitters, and housekeepers.

Keeping Tabs on WMAGs Like You

2009-11-04T10:05:00.003-05:00

I'm often asked why I do this blog, and there are many answers. But the big reason I do it is to connect with other working moms against guilt and also help them feel like they're not alone. We're all dealing with lots of the same challenges, and celebrating some of the same joys -- why not do it as a community? Virtual, in real life, or some combination thereof. It's all good, in my opinion.

One way I like to see what other interesting WMAGs have to say is by reading their blogs. If you've never noticed the "You Might Also Like" blogroll in our right-hand column, I hope you'll check it out. I use it almost every day to jump into the worlds and conversations of cool, smart, witty moms all over the place.

We recently went through and added some new blogs to the list, as well as removed a few who stopped posting or otherwise went off the grid. Here's the updated list of top blogs and sites that we consider to be worth visiting -- frequently!

Must-read working mom blogs/sites

See any glaring omissions? Please share in the comments! We're always looking for new and interesting blogs to check out.

And because I've become a more frequent Twitter user lately, I went ahead and created a WMAG Twitter list. (Lists are a new feature on Twitter, allowing you to organize the people you follow and discover new and interesting accounts.) On the list, you'll find bloggers, individuals and publications that are tweet about working mom-related stuff.

WMAG on Twitter
actionjackson03 (Susan)
WMAGTela (Tela)
sbennettwealer (Sara)
(Sorry, Cara fans -- she's just not that into Twitter.)

Working mom must-follows on Twitter
thejuggle
mttsm
rolemommy
svmom
ShannanB
penelopetrunk
Busymom
justicefergie
whostheboss
ParentopiaDevra
ilinap
stephanieklein
KimMoldofsky
JenSchall
civil3diva
mommystory
natalykogan
TheDailyBlonde
marketingmommy
blondemomblog
MrsCPA
mommytracked
WorkingMomNews
JusticeJonesie
aprilincinci
acowboyswife
SeeryusMama
KatherineLewis
AlliWorthington
1cincymom
working_mother
kendraramirez
MomsRising
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Tasty Tuesday - Sweet Potato Risotto

2009-11-03T10:08:00.003-05:00

This week, we've selected another yummy recipe from the new cookbook Real Simple Best Recipes: Easy, Delicious Meals. It features sweet potatoes, the perfect vegetable for a person like myself, who has a raging sweet tooth.

Oh, and today is your last chance to win this cookbook for your own kitchen! Check out WMAG Reviews to see how you can enter our giveaway.

Sweet Potato Risotto
Hands-on time: 45 minutes | Total time: 45 minutes | Serves 4

2 tablespoons olive oil
1 large onion, finely chopped
Kosher salt and black pepper
2 small sweet potatoes (about 1 pound), cut into 1/4-inch pieces
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 cup Arborio rice
1 cup dry white wine
1/2 cup grated Parmesan (2 ounces)
2 teaspoons chopped fresh oregano

Heat the oil in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add the onion, 1/2 teaspoon salt, and 1/4 teaspoon pepper. Cook, stirring occasionally, until soft, 4 to 6 minutes. Add the sweet potatoes and garlic and cook, stirring occasionally, for 2 minutes.

Add the rice and cook, stirring, for 2 minutes. Add the wine and cook, stirring frequently, until absorbed.

Measure 3 1/2 cups of water. Add 3/4 cup at a time and cook, stirring occasionally and waiting until each addition is absorbed before adding the next. It should take 25 to 30 minutes for all the water to be absorbed.

Stir in the Parmesan and oregano.

Recipe courtesy of Real Simple Best Recipes: Easy, Delicious Meals, edited by Lygeia Grace and Kate Merker, published by Real Simple Books, 2009.

What Makes You Happy?

2009-11-02T10:53:00.008-05:00

My dear friend Meg (pictured left) and her friend Rachel (pictured right) have a new book called The Happy Book that just came out yesterday. Hooray! I haven't actually received my copy yet, so I'll have to rely on Amazon's description to tell you more about it:

The Happy Book shows how to practice and celebrate happiness so you can find it when you really need it. Packed with creative prompts, wacky ideas, and hip activities, this is the ultimate pick-me-up. Packaged to encourage doodling and drawing, The Happy Book has space to scribble thoughts, make lists, fill in the blanks, and paste pictures. This book is about creating a record of what makes you glad, whether that means '80s hair bands or hot chocolate with churros.

I asked Meg if she could share with our readers some kids' and parents'/grandparents' answers to the question, "What makes you happy?":

Singing in the shower. --Donovan, age 9

Purple popsicles. --Clara, age 5

Princesses. --Delaney, age 5

Lying on the ground, and staring at the moon and stars. --Kerry, age 11

When my 1 1/2 yr. old grandson says "Papa Papa" and hugs me like a long lost buddy. --Jim

Holding my baby when she sleeps. --Sara

Playing with my children. --Donovan

A baby belly-giggling. --Judy

Reader Giveaway
Now it's your turn! Leave a comment before midnight on Monday, Nov. 9, with your answer (or your kid's answer) to the question, "What makes you happy?" We'll select one commenter at random to win a copy of The Happy Book. (When you enter a comment, Blogger will ask for your email address -- but only we will see it.)

Happy Tweets
Get little tweets of happiness on Twitter from The Happy Book. Follow @thehappybook.

Mama Needs a Cool T-Shirt

2009-10-31T14:11:00.003-04:00

I have the lamest t-shirts ever. Mostly I have free ones from work, events and blog swag. So I'm more than a little sad I can't enter the latest WMAG giveaway.

We have three $25 gift cards to Threadless.com that will go to three lucky readers. Go on over to our WMAG Reviews site to find out why we're giving these away and how you can get your chance to win.

Friday Finds - October 30, 2009

2009-10-30T11:00:00.006-04:00

Cara's Finds

-- New Sesame Street book. Did you know Nov. 10 marks the 40-year anniversary of Sesame Street? A new hardcover book, Sesame Street: A Celebration of 40 Years on the Street is a collection of everything you love about the children show. Although I haven't had the chance to look through it, I heard it includes an awesome inside peek at everything behind-the-scenes, including over 1,500 photos, puppeteer profiles, how the Muppets are created and built, special appearance by celebrities over the years and more. Sounds like the perfect holiday gift for the ultimate Sesame Street fan!

--Donate a coat and get 20% off a new one. Beginning today until November 30, Lands’ End is hosting Big Warm-up coat donation sites at its 252 Lands’ End Shops at Sears and 13 Lands’ End Inlets. Donated coats will be distributed via the National Coalition for the Homeless in communities nearby. For each donated coat, you'll receive 20 percent off a new one. Pretty cool!

Working Moms Don't Have Time to Be Depressed

2009-10-28T14:34:00.002-04:00

Another depressing study about working moms and ... depression. Wheeeee! Here's the scoop from HealthDay News:

The analysis of national data on 2,130 mothers with depression also found that working mothers were less likely to receive adequate treatment, possibly because long work hours make it difficult for them to find time to seek treatment.

Why am I not surprised? We usually put ourselves last, whether it's regarding our physical or mental health. When a busy working mom is feeling depressed, she's more likely to brush it off because she simply has too much else going on to deal with it.

Well, I'm here to tell you: If your own happiness isn't worth the time and money for treatment, do it for your family. They need you to be in a good place mentally:

Depression in mothers can have a major impact on the entire family, especially on the health and well-being of their children, the researchers noted. Treating depression in mothers can improve the long-term health of their families.

If you know you're depressed, please get some help -- you can start with an appointment with your regular doctor. If you think you might be depressed but aren't sure, take this depression health check from WebMD. Even if you're uninsured, there are options, including generic antidepressants (for as little as $4 a month) and public health clinics with free or sliding scale fees for therapy sessions.

Take care of yourselves, mamas! You deserve to be happy -- or at the very least, not depressed.

Tasty Tuesday: Soup's On

2009-10-27T09:56:00.006-04:00

We've had a bit of a Tasty Tuesday hiatus in recent months, but today we're back with a bang!

The latest cookbook from our friends at Real Simple (who also happened to name this blog as "Best Parenting/Family Blog" last year) is out today. We got our hands on an advance copy of Real Simple Best Recipes: Easy, Delicious Meals and are able to share with you a few of our favorite recipes from this tasty tome. Want to win this cookbook for your own kitchen? Check out WMAG Reviews to see how you can enter our giveaway.

For today's recipe, I selected something perfect for the season: hot, hearty comfort food. Whether you're feeling under the weather or just want to warm up, a nice cup of homemade soup can do wonders, don't you think?

Classic Split-Pea Soup
Hands-on time: 15 minutes | Total time: 3 hours, 45 minutes | Serves 6

1 ham hock
2 32-ounce containers low-sodium chicken broth
1 pound green split peas
2 large carrots, chopped
2 stalks celery, chopped
1 large onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon dried thyme
Kosher salt

Rinse the ham hock and place it in a large saucepan or Dutch oven along with the broth, split peas, carrots, celery, onion, garlic, bay leaf, thyme, and 1 teaspoon salt. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer, covered, stirring occasionally, until the vegetables are very tender, 3 to 3 1/2 hours.

Remove and discard the bay leaf. Transfer the ham hock to a plate and let sit until cool enough to handle, at least 10 minutes. Shred the meat and stir it into the soup.

Tip: Look for ham hocks in the meat case, near the bacon. If you can't find one, substitute 1/2 pound diced bacon. Fry it in the saucepan before adding the broth.

Recipe courtesy of Real Simple Best Recipes: Easy, Delicious Meals, edited by Lygeia Grace and Kate Merker, published by Real Simple Books, 2009.

Friday Finds - Oct. 23, 2009

2009-10-23T09:07:00.011-04:00

Susan's Finds
-- C'mon, Get Happy! We could all stand to be a little (or a lot) happier, couldn't we? Do your soul a favor and pre-order a copy of The Happy Book, due out Nov. 1. It's a journal to help you celebrate what makes you happy. Oh, and did I mention one of my dearest friends in all the land, Meg Leder, co-wrote it (with her friend Rachel Kempster)? Well, I guess I must reveal my bias or the FTC might come after me. Anywho, buy the book and nurture your own happiness.

-- Win Some Wubbzy: Your preschooler can't enough of the little guy who bounces around Wuzzleburg, learning life lessons and drinking grapitty-grape juice? We've got a Halloween treat you might just want to win! Today is your last chance to enter the giveaway at WMAG Reviews.

-- Non-Scammy WFH Gigs?: I heard about HireMyMom.com from Mamaista and was intrigued. I can't vouch for the site myself, not having used it. But it certainly looks promising: a subscription-based site that connects home-based pros (moms) with employers who need freelance help. Might be worth a try!

-- Support Our Reader on the Run: Whether you'd like to win a Medela Freestyle breast pump or simply want to help raise money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, we hope you'll consider sponsoring WMAG reader Jessica Donahue in her upcoming Team in Training half-marathon. A $5 donation gets you one chance to win; $20 gets five chances to win. Good luck, Jessica!

Tela's Finds

--I work with a bunch of talented people. It amazes me to find out what they all do on the side--acting, dancing, film directing, writing books, etc. The list goes on an on. One of my co-workers has created a comic strip, Bag and Pitts, which is the story of two best friends one who roots for the Bengals (Bag--you can tell which one he is by the bag he wears on his head), and one who loves the Steelers (Pitts). Despite their split allegiances, Bags and Pitts manage to find bromance in the most unlikely of places, the NFL. This strip cracks me up. My favorite is the one about the Iphone. (It's pronounced iPhone.)

--Another one of those talented co-workers is Julie Hucke, which is an awesome, AWESOME photographer. She took some photos of my son late this summer, and if I could be in love with photos, I would be. In fact, I am. I rarely share photos of O on the blog, but I'm going to share here, because I was so happy with the end product. If you want to get some awesome family photos, you can email her (the awesome colors of fall are a perfect backdrop!) and be sure to check out her photo gallery, too.

--Do you love the zoo? I do. I am SO PYSCHED!!! because I won a gold family membership here at work in our Work/Life Balance raffel. I plan to put the membership to use this very weekend at the zoo's HallZOOween. My friend AmyInOhio and I (and our respective kiddos) went last weekend, but due some unforeseen circumstances, we didn't get to go see the elephants. O and I are going to head back this weekend to check the pachyderms out.

Fight Breast Cancer, Win Pajamas

2009-10-22T23:19:00.005-04:00

Here's a cool initiative that a popular department store chain and apparel/home merchandise brand are doing to raise money for breast cancer research. It's pretty timely since October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Learn more and enter for a chance to win some cute, comfy pajamas over at WMAG Reviews. (They might even be cute enough to wear to work. But don't tell Tela's son about that ...)

October is National Work and Family Month

2009-10-21T16:35:00.008-04:00

Did you know that October is National Work and Family Month? It’s a newer “month”—first designated in 2003 by the US Senate and reaffirmed just last year by the US House of Representatives, so you might not. I didn't! And while I know the month is more than halfway over I still wanted to talk about it, because balancing work and family is something thing working moms deal with every.single.day.

So often, in the industry I’m in, I see people burning the midnight oil way too often. They get burned out. They get angry because they can’t do the things they enjoy, but for some reason they can’t let the pull of work go. Or feel like they can’t. And maybe that’s why “work life” balance is such a hot topic these days.

I found out about National Work and Family month from Kathie Lingle’s article, Seven Ways to Battle the Way to Control Your Own Life, in the Huffington Post. The article was pretty informative (for me), and coming out of a couple of months of very intense workloads, I’m trying live out some of her suggestions in my own life. Primarily, taking time away from work and taking time for me.

Sometimes, in regards to working moms, their time at work is considered their me-time, when really? It’s so not. At work, we’re simply answering to the demands of co-workers, bosses, and employees, while at home we attend to the needs of children, housework, and more.

That’s why carving out time for me is becoming increasingly important. With my life situation, it’s not always easy, and I don’t always get to do it, but I try to make it a priority. Even if it’s forcing myself to take a lunch outside of the office and window shop or putting down the mop and bucket for an hour in the evening to watch Glee.

And I make sure to take my vacation time! Lingle's quote (following) lets me let go of any guilt I might have had about taking vacation (and I didn't have much guilt in the first place).

Bone up on the facts about how people who don't take vacation die at
significantly higher rates and younger ages. If this is your idea of a life,
then you owe it to your family to bulk up on life insurance.

Damn straight. I actually haven't been able to afford to get away on a beach vacation in a few years, but I do try to maximize my PTO to relax and spend time with friends and family.

So, what can you do for your personal work/life balance during National Work & Family Month and FOREVER?

You Know You're Getting Old When...

2009-10-20T19:42:00.007-04:00

I turned 33 last week -- or "one-third of a century," as my dad pointed out -- and have lately been thinking about how I'm getting old. It's a thought that's popped into my head now and then, pretty much since I had my first child. But here I am, a one-third-of-a-centenarian, and the thought has been popping up more often.

Here are a few of the old-person red flags (see if any of these sound familiar):

I get pissed at the young hooligans hanging around the playground when I bring my kids there to play. I'm particularly annoyed at their smoking, cursing, texting and sullen looks. Kids these days! No respect.
My 95-year-old grandma sends me jokey birthday cards about how we're both old ladies now, ha-ha. What???
The thought has crossed my mind that a van might be a good vehicle for us to have. A van!
Going out past 10 p.m. seems unthinkable to me.
When I'm around young folks (you know, in their 20s), I refer to TV shows only to learn they've never seen or heard of them. (WKRP in Cincinnati, One Day at a Time, The A-Team, to name a few.)
I find myself bending over quite frequently and exclaiming, "Oh, my aching back!" It really hurts, ever since I birthed that last baby.
I'm really, really envious of retired people.

So there you have it. I'm on my way to becoming an A.P. (Aged Parent). What the hell?