Eurorebs

goodness gracious...

2009-01-25T21:18:00.003-05:00

...great balls of fire!! Sorry, it's like Roger Rabbit's problem with "Shave & a haircut....two bits!!!!" I just had to say it ;)

Ok, so it's been ridiculously long since I've REALLY posted anything on here. By the way, watch the video below if you haven't already. I finally fixed it (thanks Debs!) and it's very well done. Turn up your volume to full blast.

My life has changed quite dramatically since July...actually even since October. Most of you who read this already know that I am now engaged and will be getting married 28 February 2009 - 33 days! His name is Stephen Slesser and he is far more wonderful than I could've asked or imagined. I was getting ready to move to London (FINALLY) in December and *BOOM* I fall in love, get engaged and get married within six months. It is truly and act of God and a work of the Holy Spirit. We are so excited!!

Stephen & I will be traveling to London this week and I hope to actually get back to a bit of blogging again. I know many of you check it (thank you!) and when my friends started taking me off of their lists of "Blogs I Read" I knew I had made my way into defunct blog land. Oops. :)

So, here's to hoping that maybe, just maybe, I'll start regularly writing on here again.

Peace out, for now.

this is my Father's world...here am i, send me

2008-10-29T17:23:00.003-04:00

namesake

2008-07-21T17:40:00.003-04:00

Please meet Julia Liesbeth "Rebecca" Smith...or at least meet her mother. I just found out a few days ago that my dear friends Sean & Sarah are naming their first child after me. Unreal. I can't even put into words what an honor it is. In fact, words seem to trivialize it. (Probably because I don't have a "gift" with words.) I've only cried about it three times so far. I think that's pretty good. Of course, when I meet her for the first time I'll probably have one big, long cry. I can't wait.

Sean & Sarah, thank you! I can't wait to see how God uses her for his Kingdom! xoxo

In other news, I hung out with my family and some longtime, family friends last night. We (or I should say "Erik") grilled, swam in their fabulous pool...

...and played with my brother & sister-in-law's new pup, Lucy. So friends, meet Lucy. She's three months old and a sweetheart.

work & calling

2008-06-16T11:25:00.004-04:00

"Lord, let me know clearly the work which you are calling me to do in life. And grant me every grace I need to answer your call with courage and love and lasting dedication to your will."

Vocation Prayer from Saint Meinrad's Prayer Book

"The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet."

Secrets in the Dark: A Life in Sermons by Frederick Buechner

lusting for godliness

2008-06-11T23:42:00.002-04:00

A friend recommended this article by Dan Allender. I wanted to share it with you, too.

Lust isn't just about sex. I don't know about you, but I want to lust for godliness. I long for the day when I will be made whole, and am with Jesus forever.

books, books, books

2008-06-03T23:04:00.007-04:00

I have this "thing" with books. I realize that my "thing" with books isn't nearly as extreme as some other people who have a "thing" with books, too, but mine is still pretty bad.

I really love books. But I don't necessarily love to read books. Anyone relate? Here's the deal. My whole life I've wanted to be a book nerd. Honestly. I've wanted to be one of those really well-read, cool people who've read all the classics (three times), all the obscure "classics", all the theological "greats", all the "postmodern" hoopla, etc., etc. So I buy those books. A lot of them. And I start to read them. And before I know it I've started 20 books and haven't finished any of them. Hmmm. (Maybe this should've been saved for later
until I blog about A.D.D.??) And it's not that I can't read them, or that they're "over my head", I just lose interest...for a few months...and then return to them
eventually. I even own books that I've forgotten about. I was looking at my Amazon account today and saw a book I had purchased a couple of years ago - and had completely forgotten about it! Geez.

So, are you wondering what I'm in the middle of right now?

Here's the list...books I am in the middle of...or have at least read the first few chapters and hope to finish the book within 2008:

The Reason for God by Tim Keller

Gary Vaynerchuk's 101 Wines: Guaranteed to Inspire, Delight and Bring Thunder to Your World by Gary Vaynerchuk

Easy Pour by Joel M. Roberts

The Wounded Heart by Dan Allender

When People Are Big and God Is Small by Ed Welch

Pleasures Evermore by Sam Storms

From Fear to Freedom by Rose Marie Miller (I first read this in 1997)

Smart Organizing by Sandra Felton

Driven to Distraction by Hallowell & Ratey

unchristian by Kinnaman & Lyons

The Revolution: A Manifesto by Ron Paul

my perfect day

2008-05-20T21:14:00.003-04:00

I was going to blog about my thoughts on attention deficit disorder, but that will have to wait...I got distracted, no lie! :)

I listened to a sermon this morning as part of my time with Jesus (one of the big perks of raising support full time - flexible schedule!) and it was amazing. I've talked about Dr. George Robertson before. I've been attending a Bible study with a few ladies from my church and we are going through his series on the Psalms. But this particular sermon was from 1 Peter 1:3-5.

3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.

Do yourself a favor, find a quiet spot with your favorite beverage and listen to this sermon. Take those 30 minutes that you may have thrown away surfing the internet, checking your email, watching a sports game, doing your nails, picking your nose, reading a magazine, stalking on SpaceBook or MyFace, etc. and be encouraged in your faith and relationship with Jesus.

I came away with so many thoughts, but one in particular is that our Father's purposes for us are ALWAYS good. No matter what. Taking that one step further, I was talking with a dear friend today who, without knowing I had listened to this sermon earlier in the day, said,"When you lay your head on your pillow tonight, I want you to thank God for this perfect day He has given you - because every day/week/month you live is perfect because it's under His control." Ok, I'm paraphrasing at this point, but it was such a powerful reminder that I don't know sh*t about how to run my life, but I so often think I do! I want control! But when ever I get control, I really lose control. It is such a glorious thing to relinquish control to Jesus each day...and to know that my day is perfect because it's under HIS control...and his purposes are always good. I have the ultimate, Living HOPE in Jesus.

worship

2008-04-28T21:52:00.000-04:00

This little girl brought me to tears...and laughter.

amelie williams

2008-04-02T16:37:00.002-04:00

The creative genius of one of my dear friends.

when words are wind

2008-03-27T22:28:00.004-04:00

From A Godward Life, by John Piper

Meditation on Job 6:26

Do you think that you can reprove words, when the speech of a despairing man is wind? (RSV)

When in grief and pain and despair, people often say things they would not otherwise say. They paint reality with darker strokes than they will paint it tomorrow, when the sun comes up. They sing in minor keys and talk as though that were the only music. They see only clouds and speak as if there were no sky.

They say, "Where is God?" Or, "There is no use in going on." Or, "Nothing makes any sense." Or, "There's no hope for me." Or, "If God were good, this couldn't have happened."

What shall we do with these words?

Job says that we do not need to reprove them. These words are wind, or literally, "for the wind." They will be quickly blown away. There will come a turn in circumstances, and the despairing person will waken from the dark night and regret the hasty words.

Therefore, let us not spend our time and energy reproving such words. They will be blown away of themselves, on the wind. One need not clip the leaves in autumn; it is wasted effort. They will soon scatter to the four winds.

How quickly we are given to defending God -- or sometimes the truth -- from words that are for the wind alone. There are enough words, premeditated and studied, that need our rebuttal, but not every despairing heresy blurted out in the hour of agony needs to be answered. If we had discernment, we could tell the difference between the words with roots and the words blowing in the wind.

There are words with roots in deep error and deep evil. But not all gray words get their color from a black heart. Some are colored mainly by the pain, the despair. What you hear is not the deepest thing within. There is something real within, where the words come from, but it is temporary -- like a passing infection -- real, painful, but not the true person.

Let us learn to discern whether the words spoken against us or against God or against the truth are merely for the wind -- spoken not from the soul, but from the sore. If they are for the wind, let us wait in silence and not reprove. Restoring the soul, not reproving the sore, is the aim of our love.

------------------------------------------

I read this today and was blown away. I immediately thought of so many things, the blogging world being one of them. I also thought of the people that I feel safe with, safe with my heart and whatever it is that comes out of my mouth when I'm in pain. Those people in my life that I can say things to the wind without their correction or condemnation. Just their ears and heart. Granted, if I need to be rebuked, they will be sure to call me to repentance. But overall, they know me so well that they will just sit and listen. I hope I am like that. Wise enough to just sit and listen and discern...with love.

a cup of water

2008-03-21T17:31:00.001-04:00

I’ve got a lot to unpack from this trip - spiritually, emotionally, and luggage-wise. I just finished reading a friend’s email, and his last paragraph was just what I needed to hear and be reminded of – Jesus’ death and resurrection and what that means for me. It sent me into a cathartic fifteen-minute crying session on the kitchen floor (I was going for the tissues in the drawer and decided to just sit down) with Jesus. It was good. It was raw. It was just what I needed. And then I read this:

a cup of identity

Besetting sins make me feel like I’m not a real Christian.
A real Christian wouldn’t sin so much, I think. A real Christian would have conquered lasting temptations.
Sin’s never a good thing. By definition, it hurts us and others. So when we’re stuck in a pattern of sin, bad things are regularly happening to someone.
Does habitual sin need to define us, though?
No. And that’s better news than we might first think. Besetting sins certainly feel like a master…and that’s precisely what Satan wants us to think. Believing that lie will send us into obsessive self-effort; it will sink us in depression by depriving us of our true identity.
We are not defined by our sins, even if it sometimes seems like that. We are the princes and princesses of a King, adopted as sons and daughters of God. We need to remind ourselves and each other that nothing – not even besetting sins – can separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:35-39).

No matter what, as a Christian, I’m a child of the King.

101 cups of water: relief and refreshment for the tired, thirsty soul, by C.D. Baker

when you're here, you're family

2008-03-17T15:53:00.002-04:00

I hate being sick. I especially hate it when you're not sure if you're sick or if it's "just" allergies. Do I continue taking allergy medicine, or will I feel better if I switch to Advil Cold & Sinus?

Sunday in Nashville was nourishing & all about the gospel. Just what I needed. I went to Christ Community in the morning, and met up with Chris Fekete and her husband Doug, and their brood of eight beautiful kids. In the evening I worshiped with the City Church East Nashville family. And City Church really does feel like family. It's funny how I almost moved to Nashville five years ago, and now I'm here again, on my way to London, but feeling very much at home. I'm thankful for my Nashville family.

me & the flu

2008-03-12T14:40:00.003-04:00

So here's what I'm wondering. How is it that I managed to get through the entire winter without getting sick, and now, less than 48 hours before I drive to BWI to fly to Nashville for six days I get the flu?! Not sure. It's not funny...ok, in some ways it is. I know that I will be taken care of, and even if I have to travel with while sick (God help the people around me), it's not the first time I've done it.

In fact, I have a great picture of me, white as snow, passed out on an airplane flying back from China. Worst traveling experience of my short life, and I hope I never have to experience that again, but the memories make me laugh! And the picture is horrendous. I wish I had a scanner so I could post it. You can tell just by looking at me that I was sick, sick, sick and miserable.

Thankfully I'll be staying at a hotel in Nashville on Friday night, so I won't infect the friends that I'm staying with the rest of the week. I'll just have to find the closest gas station to load up on ginger ale and chicken noodle soup. Lord, please don't let me still be that sick by then!

In the meantime I think I'll sleep on the couch, and in and out of consciousness watch:
Casablanca
Shakespeare in Love
Love Actually
About A Boy
Emma
French Kiss
...and whatever else strikes my fancy.

loaner car | fast cars | no cars go

2008-03-07T15:02:00.005-05:00

I'm not sure what's going on lately, but it seemed that the only license plates I saw on the road today were from Michigan, New Jersey, and North Carolina. Honestly. They were everywhere. There were more Pennsylvania license plates, of course, otherwise I would have started to wonder...

I picked up another car from CMTS Ministries! I'm so thankful that there are places like this out there. What a blessing. So now I'm driving a '99 Nissan Sentra. I think this is approximately the eighth time I've switched cars since October 2006. I know my neighbors must be wondering what's going on! Hopefully this is the last one before I move to London.

I've been running again, lately. It feels so good. Granted, it's on a treadmill and it's only 2 1/2 miles at this point, but it's still one of the best stress relievers for me. I probably won't be running 40-45 miles a week ever again...but never say never. Although that was in high school and part of college and without a coach or running partner I just don't see it happening.

I don't run with an iPod/mp3 player when I'm on the road (I like to be aware of my surroundings - namely cars and strange men), but I love listening to music while I'm on the treadmill. Some great running tunes I've been listening to this week:
Angels & Airwaves - "Breathe," "Heaven," & "Sirens"
Arcade Fire - "Keep the Car Running" & "No Cars Go"
U2 - "Fast Cars"
Delirious? - "Heaven"
(I just realized there's a bit of a "heaven" and "cars" theme so far...)
Doves - "Pounding"
Madonna - "Hung Up" (if you like a little dance music)

And Fink's "Pretty Little Thing", is a great walking/cool down tune.

What do you listen to when you run? I'm always looking for new music that's good for running so I'd love to hear your song choices!

Ok, back to emails, letters, and phone calls...

change your thinking. change your world.

2008-03-04T14:37:00.000-05:00

think happy stuff, inc.

night air

2008-03-03T22:16:00.002-05:00

I've got my bedroom window wide open tonight and it is glorious.

The smells & sounds are so soothing.

ng traveler

2008-03-01T20:47:00.004-05:00

I bought my first copy of National Geographic Traveler tonight.

And I am hooked.

I just remembered I bought the March 2008 issue of Budget Travel a couple of weeks ago. I'm seeing a pattern here.

----------------------

I love this photo. The look on the dog's face makes me giggle.

From NGT's Paris Photo Gallery.

as i was saying...

2008-02-29T16:22:00.004-05:00

My trip to Pittsburgh was fantastic! I had myself thoroughly stressed out the week before with "trying" to plan the logistics and all. The thing is I was trying to plan it all, and I didn't even think to ask Jesus to take control and help me until I was a few days into planning and fraying at the edges. I am so thankful for the Holy Spirit! That statement sounds trivial, but it's true. Makes me think of a verse in one of my favorite passages in Galatians that says, "Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, Father." (Gal 4:6) That is just so awesome to me, that I have the Spirit of God who cries out for me, even when I don't feel like it, or want to, or can't think of the words, or have no words...

The trek on the Pennsylvania Turnpike was a bit different than the past. There is a new bridge across the Susquehanna (yes, mom, you've been over it many times ;)), Sideling Hill rest stop is closed until May 2008 for major renovations (that was traditionally the place we always stopped on trips to Western PA), and there's a section of the highway that once wound through the mountains and is now completely straight. And, as usual, the roads were dry the entire trip until I hit Somerset, in the mountains. It was a whiteout for about five minutes and it snowed pretty heavily for about 30 miles. Yay.

Without boring you all to death, I am SO thankful that I made the trip and am planning on returning for a week in April. There are so many people that I didn't get to see. I stayed with my friend Mart on Geneva's campus on Monday & Tuesday; with my friends Budd & Christina at their Waterfront apartment on Wednesday & Thursday (here's a random map); with my friends Zach & Joanna and their baby girl, Haven on Friday & Saturday; and my friend Melissa on Sunday. Basically I met with a ton of friends over that time, witnessed and pledged my prayers and support at the wedding of my friends Ryan & Alicia, and spoke at my "home church" in Western Pennsylvania, Chapel Presbyterian. It was truly a wonderful week! Thank you for your prayers! xo

Mart & I

penguins and other collector's items

2008-02-29T15:44:00.006-05:00

I found these delightful coffee mugs on this blog. You can order them from Art Meets Matter. I think it's my new favorite site (except that it seems most things are unavailable or out of stock. Hm.)

you know you're too into LOST when...

2008-02-25T20:51:00.003-05:00

...you're sittin' in the tub, taking a bath, staring at the shampoo and you think it says, "Dharma Clean" until you blink a few times and realize is says, "Drama Clean". Yea.

I'm back from Pittsburgh. Pulled into my driveway a couple of hours ago. And now I am going to sleep for a long time. It will do my body good.

Lord willing, I'll blog a tiny bit about my week out "west" tomorrow.

:)

pittsburgh

2008-02-21T12:56:00.004-05:00

I have to admit, I love this city. Can't say I'm a big fan of Western PA (sorry friends), but Pittsburgh holds a special place in my heart. Something random that I love about it - coming through the Fort Pitt tunnel at night and "BAM!" it's Pittsburgh an the three rivers right in front of you. Love that.

Something random that I HATE about it - it's one of the worst cities to get around in. Example, I was going back to my friend's house from downtown Pittsburgh. There's all kinds of road construction going on and I needed to get back on a particular highway that runs along the city. I was coming up on a light and had my usual "feeling" (I have a bit of a gift with direction) that I should turn left there, but since there was no sign for the major highway I needed, I opted to go "just a bit further". Bad idea. I was about to drive through the intersection when I noticed those signs I was looking for. They don't help at all when they're practically ON the intersection and there's no way you can get over into the left hand turning lane with out blocking the entire intersection. Hm. So, I thought, hey, no biggie. I'll go to the next intersection and turn. Here's where it's a unique-to-Pittsburgh deal. I was suddenly on a bridge crossing one of the rivers going in the opposite direction that I needed to be. Grrrrr. (For those of you that know the area, it was Hot Metal Bridge.) Anyway, it wasn't a huge deal b/c I knew where I was, but it just added 30 minutes to a trip that should only take 15 minutes. Ah, the joys of a city with a ton of rivers and bridges. You're guaranteed to get "lost".

road trippin'

2008-02-20T15:36:00.003-05:00

I'm in Beaver Falls, Pittsburgh, and all point in between this week.

Here's a view from the PA Turnpike on my way out.

It's been a wonderful trip so far. I've been able to reconnect with a lot of old friends and roam around the Geneva College campus checking out what's changed - and stayed the same.

Rose & I.

Mart & I at the Blue Marble.

adventures in snow

2008-02-15T16:54:00.003-05:00

I'm sittin' here workin' away, listening to random music. I can see a gang of the Jr. & Sr. Highers running around the church parking lot getting ready to leave for the big "Breakaway" weekend. It used to just be called the "Ski Retreat" way back in the day, which was funny because there was only skiing on one day and I never bothered to go. It cost extra money, and I couldn't be bothered. That makes me think of the one time that I have been skiing. I was a sophomore in college, and a group of five ladies went. It was SO FUN. Two of us had never had a pair of skis on in our lives, and by the end of the day we were going down Black Diamonds (if my memory serves me correctly). We had the BEST teachers! (Thanks Carrie, Allie, & Christina!) I remember them making us put on our skis and get in line for the lift. I was so scared. And yes, right before the lift vomited us onto the top of the mountain I yelled, "Everyone, get out of the way! I have no idea how to stop!" haha Very good memories.

galatians 2:20-21

2008-02-14T14:37:00.002-05:00

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not nullify the grace of God, for if justification were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose.

some honest thoughts (that have nothing to do with Valentine's Day)

2008-02-14T14:11:00.003-05:00

I recently found a post that I had started many months ago, never finished, and thus never published.

So I was thinking today how I don’t really write much of what’s REALLY going on in my head on my blog…like, when I’m so tired of raising support, or how working AND raising support is driving me crazy, or going to wedding number 68 may put me over the edge, or if one more married friend gives me “advice” on the single life it might send me into frenzy, or how excited I was to turn 28, or how much I love the smell of popcorn, or how much I’m already boring myself as I try to write this entry and sound “spiritual” or “witty”. HA! The very thought of it makes me laugh out loud.

And that's as far as I got. In fact, I think I wrote it in July 2007.

Well, raising support is HARD. In fact, it's the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. For some people, it wouldn't be quite as difficult, but for me it feels like death. Of course, there's a silver lining in it too. For example I love the fact that I get to meet with so many different people and have the chance to get to know them. That is so worth it, and so much fun. And, after it's all said and done, there will be an army of people praying for me, the people I work with, London, Camden, etc. And there's nothing like an army of people praying! But, in general, it's painful. Talk about sanctification! As a "world class" people pleaser, not-humble woman, this task has driven me to my knees. And well, it's also made me realize how little I really am "on my knees" and relinquishing control to Jesus. I just want Jesus.