food porn LA

Bring It On

2007-07-20T11:47:00.001-07:00

I've been cooking like crazy this week. Often I feel that my food, though pretty, lacks real flavor and that "God damn it, this is goooodd." that I'm looking for. Or maybe I've eaten at too many restaurants. This might also be due to the fact that I rarely make the same thing more than once or twice. I don't have a repertoire of dishes I excel at. I'm working on changing that but I am a perfectionist. And yet, while I write this I can't believe I still haven't done it. So I'm a lazy perfectionist.

The fat girl in me was coming out this week and I sought out comfort foods that I could grub down on. I decided on lasagna. We were missing ricotta, mozzarella, basil and only had a little tomato sauce but I didn't let that bother me. But get this, I made pasta from scratch for the first time. We bought a pasta maker a few weeks ago and though J has used it many times I usually whimpered away. Good fresh pasta requires tough burly hands which I unfortunately (and thankfully) do not possess. Have you ever seen Mario Batali's hands?? I enlisted the help of Mayo (never thought those words would ever come out of my mouth, but I mean the person and not the spread) and he walked me through it while on the evil black box.

Making pasta from scratch isn't a joke-it's tough work. If you thought I was a pansy making Pici! you should have seen my face kneading pasta dough. Kneading dough is a pain in the ass. It requires at least 10 full minutes of paw pain. During the process I thought to myself, 'Who needs fresh pasta sheets anyway?' but I'm not a quitter (or least trying not to be) so I persevered. In the end, it was all worth it and I realized that it was quite simple but still a pain in the poon.

I don't know if you could really call this a lasagna but I made do with pecorino romano and a little parmigiano reggiano. I also wasn't sure if I was supposed to boil the sheets first or just bake them. I chose the latter and it was fine except the first layer burnt a little but that was because there wasn't a thick layer of cheese to cover it! I was determined not to go grocery shopping this week.

Sausage, roasted peppers, spinach. Who says you need ricotta? Maybe a little would've helped.

Later that same day we decided on ____ Noodle (Asian-y?) soup. Last week I made a nice roasted chicken and finally got around to making stock from the lovely bones. Sounds so familiar doesn't it?? I've never met a man who read that by the way. Are you out there? The stock was sublime. I threw in not one, but three bay leaves, peppercorns and fresh herb from the Farmer's Market and simmered away for about 5 hours. We saved the wonderful juices from the roasted chicken and added it to the stock. I even froze it ziploc bags and used all the nerdy suggestions from Cook's Illustrated. I wonder if I'll ever be one of those psychos that freezes stock in ice cube trays. Not that I don't wish I had that in the freezer, I just don't have enough ice cube trays.

After making fresh lasagna sheets and subjecting my hands to pain, pain and more pain. I told J I was making Asian-y chicken soup and he suggested fresh egg noodles. I never back down from a challenge so I used this opportunity to practice making pasta dough again. And my little masochistic self agreed. Sure enough, it was a little easier the second time around. I was encouraged to throw the dough at the counter and it proved to be one of my favorite things.

I've been using good chicken broth from cartons (I blame Rachel Ray) but after using homemade, I don't think I'll be able to go back. The egg noodles turned out very well, I knew it wasn't super authentic but in Chinese restaurants they serve thin egg noodles so why not wide? I sauteed a good amount of ginger, two whole cloves of garlic, a few whole peppercorns, two bay leaves and threw in a whole cinnamon stick to the broth. I added soy sauce and a tiny bit of fish sauce and let it simmer. The broth was rich and full of depth. So much better than the stuff from the carton. Adding the cinnamon stick really does wonders to the soup. Who knew?

Sucky ass apartment lighting. Can't bring ourselves to purchase lamps.

Another thing I've started doing is frying garlic slices with tiny bits of shallots. They add great flavor and are nice little brown fried crispy things. I added the leftover chicken we had, baby bok choy at the end and a little tofu- a cheap, soft, healthy source of added protein. Top with green onions, thin slices of raw onions and cilantro. Maybe a few shakes of crushed red pepper flakes if you're feeling adventurous. I go crazy with lemons but that's just me. Afterwards J told me he thought I said I was making regular chicken noodle soup which meant I could've used rice noodles. But I'm glad we didn't.

Lastly, apple cinnamon coffee cake for dessert/breakfast. I've never used apples for a coffee cake but it made the cake [in Giada voice] moist, light, fluffy with soft hints of apple. I browned Granny Smith apples in butter, sugar and cinnamon. The cake was mostly for J, who loves all sweets like no other. It turned out very nicely and stayed moist for days, which is rare for a coffee cake. Even the topping was good. Cook's Illustrated again. Why are they called coffee cakes?

This was taken on day 3, the top was much better looking on day 1. Small plate man.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and play a $.10 tournament. I know, I'm living the life.

Blanco

2007-07-13T19:58:00.000-07:00

Dinner?
Food Porn is now a gringa!

If you're ever stuck in an airport...

2007-07-12T21:27:00.000-07:00

Seattle's Sea-Tac Airport's not such a bad place to be. It's completely renovated so everything is new and sparkling clean. I think it's one of the cleanest airports I've ever been to in my entire life. They have decent restaurants and places with good beers on tap. These pictures were taken last year during Thanksgiving's "snow storm." Translation: two inches of snow. Shriek! Now that it's cooled down a bit, I'm thinking of fall and winter. I know, I'm a looney.
When we got stuck waiting for a flight, we sat at Anthony's, one of the many seafood places in Seattle. The taller, better glass is, I believe , a Deschutes Black Butte Porter. It's rich and smooth with hints o' chocolate and coffee. One of my all time favorites. The shorter, stubby glass on the left is craziness.
Fish and Chips, another one of my favorites. Halibut + Deep fried goodness = happy cat.

I just wanted to show off my skillz as an amateur photographer. What?

David: You know how I know you're gay?
Cal: How? How do you know I'm gay?
David: Because you macramed yourself a pair of jean shorts.
David: You know how I know you're gay?
Cal: How?

David: Because you serve soup in bread bowls.

Though I find them a bit frou frou, I think a bread bowl could be a delightful way of serving soup!

In the end, J succumbed to my superior beer. He hates to order the same as me but we always end up eating and drinking the same thing. It's love, love. Ah, I love ordering the better thing first.

We're back bitches!

2007-07-11T19:35:00.000-07:00

Mayo and I are finally back in LA. We drove straight from mild Seattle to the sweltering heat of our Weho neighborhood (damn you West LA people- you get actual wind!) last week and have been without interweb for nine whole days (more if you count the drive). Whew, the Comcast man finally arrived today and made my day complete. Now I don't have to talk to J anymore, we can ignore each other for websites!

I know you cats are thinking, can this biyatch post pictures of anything other than sushi? I wish the answer was no but yes, here's Bill, getting ready to punch you in the face.

It's good to be back and it's nice the weather has cooled down a bit. I'll have to post some of the cold foods I've been chowing down on recently and what I've been eating with Bill Gates.

Pain

2007-04-23T16:43:00.000-07:00

The purpose of today's post is to whine. I want sushi so bad right now it hurts. I can't go out for it right now because my wallet is mad at me. After reading KT's posts on her trip to Japan and seeing FM's Summer of Sushi, I just want to pet deer and eat roads and roads of sushi wearing a yukata. Plus it's hot today (an anomaly in Seattle). Unfortunately we went for a small dinner (just a teaser, not a crazy festival) at I Love Sushi a few weeks ago and had some amazing salmon. The color was unbelievable—but alas, no pics. I've noticed that Seattle's salmon is excellent but their yellowtail is fair; LA is the opposite: fantastic yellowtail and fair salmon. About an hour before we were supposed to leave LA, we were extremely short on time, starving and wanted sushi. We couldn't go to Zo because we knew that if we went there a.) we'd never leave, there would be too much traffic and it was too out of the way so we had to go somewhere close to our apartment: Sushi Dan, the fucking rockin' sushi place on Sunset. We were extremely weary but needed our fix. The yellowtail actually wasn't bad, buttery and smooth. If any of you are ever in need of a fix and find yourself at Sushi Dan (I hope you won't), don't ever order the salmon sashimi. Ever. The Mexican sushi chef (also interesting) was really nice, spoke Korean to me and showed off his knife to me and gave us huge cuts of farmed, orange salmon (think of the worst Costco salmon ever). While I appreciated his generosity, sushi joints usually don't give you anything extra or free), I winced after my first bite. I'd also steer clear of those crazy rolls too, but you already know that. So yes people, even the yellowtail at Sushi Dan was decent. Unbelievable. Damn, I miss Sushi Zo. I'm itching so hard, I'd gladly eat the yellowtail at Sushi Dan right now.

I'm having a deep fried Kosher chili dog for dinner tonight. Okay, I just finished eating two chili dogs and feel like I'm going to die. J also deep fried the franks (I think he's trying to kill me), causing the extra food coma. I'll shut the fuck up about my cravings now. I blame food blogs and food shows. I guess that's how my sister felt after reading my post on Sushi Zo.

Friday the 13th

2007-04-13T14:22:00.000-07:00

Boo! Don't these images give you a fright? Happy Friday the 13th! Please make sure your volume is on for the suspenseful score and click here for Shocking Cats!

I've been taking some time off in cold Seattle but have been eating lots.

Remember, if a black cat crosses your path today, it's good luck, not bad luck. Let's all be nice to our furry feline friends today, if you don't like them that's cool, they don't like you either! Cheers.

Isn't this terrifying?

Free Shipping offer on Nueske's bacon

2007-03-02T18:11:00.000-08:00

Not only does Forn Porn LA provide you with long, boring posts about food she loves, she saves you clams.

Nueske's, possibly the best bacon in zee world is running a free shipping deal until March 27. Check it out here...

I dig thick bacon and ordered the slab last time but they also offer thick sliced bacon as well. It doesn't shrink as much as other bacons and it's the same stuff they serve at BLD, Hungry Cat and other great restaurants.

Sushi Zo, I love you!

2007-02-28T23:21:00.000-08:00

After a long, horrible afternoon of cleaning our once again filthy apartment (this time we were doing a deep clean versus hiding everything in closets and little floor piles), the love of my life and I decided to reward ourselves and take Eat, Drink & Be Merry's advice by going to Sűshi Zo. For the record, I have no idea why they would put an umlaut over the "u" but they can do whatever they want.

We tried to go to Sűshi Zo once without a reservation on a Saturday night but were unable to get in. The hostess seemed genuinely sorry that she was unable to accommodate us and we noticed how cozy and promising everything looked.

Tonight, the minute we sat down we noticed how sparkling clean and inviting everything was. Even the sushi chefs sparkled: it's that kind of place. Usually when going for sushi, we prefer sitting at the bar but after such an exhausting day, I felt like a table. The whole place is small but not crowded, couples receive tables intended for four. The place was lit nicely and the minute our sweet waitress brought us our steamed hand towels and green tea, I felt very cared for. The menu was beautifully simple. There were no crazy "Robertson rolls" or weird appetizers. It was a true sushi restaurant. I didn't see sashimi on the menu, which I found a little odd but I didn't question...I just embraced it.

I know that many people will say, "But you have to have the omakase!" That may very well be true because of course, sushi chefs know exactly what they're supposed to do: entertain and delight your palate from beginning to end, but I, my dear friends, am a snob. I firmly believe that I have a fine palate and that I also know exactly how to order, and I know my preferences. I will someday soon, sit down at the sushi bar and have a conversation with the sushi master and we'll talk, get to know each other and take it from there. J and I did that with the lovely Bobby, owner of Sushiman , months ago which quickly became one of the best experiences of my life. We had another excuse tonight though, we have only minor ducats and we ordered perfectly anyway!

We started with the miso soup because I am a soup whore. Then we ordered yellowtail, salmon, kampachi, spicy tuna hand rolls and a yellowtail and scallion roll.

For you Mish, Miso hungry!!! Also, I'm a corny, corny cat

They were brought out one by one, on tiny plates (poor dishwasher). Upon setting down our individuals plates the dish the waitress instructed us: "No soy sauce," or "Very little soy sauce." My ears perked up and I obeyed. She was absolutely right. The minute we bit into the yellowtail we swooned: rich, buttery and smooth, the rice and fish were both the perfect temperature. Absolute perfection. The kamapachi and salmon were wonderful but it was the yellowtail that really gets you. The kampachi was lightly dressed in yuzu and the salmon had a paper thin shell of vinegar, which was interesting...but not necessary, as the salmon was rich, fatty and flavorful (rff).

Everything was perfectly seasoned, cut beautifully and made me so damn happy. We savored every bite and panicked when the last roll came. The rolls were fair, lovingly wrapped in perfectly toasted seaweed with a little extra diaper piece to cover the end but it was all about the fish. We ordered more yellowtail and salmon. We thought of Bobby, who regards mackerel as his favorite and ordered two different mackerels, Spanish and Japanese. Everything was so good we also ordered the red snapper, blue crab roll and of course, another yellowtail roll.

Sake to me. Shut up, you know you were thinking it!

This is the delightful Spanish mackerel. Absolutely derightfur indeed. I was surprised at how great this was.
Saba

Blue Crab Roll: the other rolls were better

The Spanish mackerel was our favorite out of the second order. I've always liked broiled mackerel okay but this was love. Rich, topped with the perfect amount of ginger, it literally melted in my mouth. The saba and red snapper (a little too sweet) were still buttery (like everything we had) but the Spanish mackerel kicked saba's ass. The Blue Crab Roll was cooked unfortunately and wasn't as good as I had hoped but like I said, it was all about the nigiri.

Everytime we dipped our fish into the soy sauce (very sparingly of course), our soy sauce would produce a beautiful sheen from all the lovely fish oils. For dessert we had more yellowtail and vowed to come back. I grew a little sad watching the patrons at the bar hand receive their orders from the sushi chefs and knowing they were closing and that we had to go but I was still glowing from the beautiful meal.

The oils

So... I'm still zen from the wonderful night. Not only did I have the best sushi I've had in the longest, everything was incredible...and I got to go home to a sparkling kitchen. The prices were reasonable and the service was truly excellent. The staff are very thoughtful, watchful and opinionated in a good way. Usually I wouldn't care for people telling me what to do but it was kind of a turn on. Plus I got to flick off Matsuhisa on the drive back.

Good night and thanks again to D and Oishii Eats for recommending this heavenly place.

Can I borrow 5 bucks for some tacos?

2007-02-26T23:33:00.000-08:00

Ahhh...Yuca's. When J and I first moved to LA we subletted a beautiful apartment in Los Feliz, walking distance to the Mustard Seed Cafe-great burgers, salads, staff and fantastic coffee and The Alcove-wonderful ambience,delicious onion rings (doughnuts), decent (so-so, once in a while good if you get lucky) desserts and surprisingly terrible coffee and Yuca's. To prove that I'm not 100% ADD, I'm going to talk about Los Feliz and Yuca's.

I remember the first time we sat down at the Mustard Seed: it was around lunchtime and we were waiting to meet the subletter. I was feeling very cranky from searching through tons of crazy craigslist ads for apartments and just wanted to find something...normal and nice...and cozy. The Mustard Seed was literally one block from the potential apartment and looked like the places I would hang out in Seattle. The menu and restaurant looked promising and well run. There were huge bags of fresh mesclun greens in the case, a good sign that they went through bags and bags of the stuff, and people were relaxed and non pretentious. We ordered coffee and wasn't disappointed at all(surprising). Everything was fresh, tasty, and cheap. They had breakfast and lunch. It was our new place.

I loved living in Los Feliz and being able to walk to so many places. Not only was our apartment perfect, we bought fruit from the man on the corner, went to breakfast at the Mustard Seed, had dessert and bad coffee at the Alcove or grabbed drinks at Tangiers. One day I read an article about food in LA in GQ (I know) and they mentioned Mexico City and Yuca's. Mexico City was easily one of the worst (and ridiculously priced) Mexican food we've had in LA. I don't know if we ordered wrong, which I doubt, or if it was the Market Price Guacamole that threw me. But Yuca's was heaven ("Everything is heaven with him!").
It's a tiny taco stand right next to Hillhurst Liquors, Heineken Light with your tacos perhaps? You place your order at a window with a sweet older woman who writes it down on a paper plate, more assistance is given by another adorable woman grubbing down on a burrito. They serve tacos and burritos and hamburgers and hot dogs(??). I've never tried and probably won't ever order the burgers but hey...who knows? Yuca's actually has a coveted James Beard Award, not bad for a taco stand, eh?

We stopped by Yuca's last week before a road trip and ordered the carne asada taco, carnitas taco and a carne asada burrito. The tacos were topped simply with onions and cilantro. I polished off the entire pickled jalepeño which gave me the serious nose runs but was wonderful. I still can't figure out why the hell it was so spicy. Everything was soft and comforting, minus the nose run. A lot of people seem to love only the tacos but they are a little too small for me-I was loving the burrito: it was moist with the steak and rich meaty tasting pinto beans (probably cooked in lard) and wrapped in a warm flour tortilla. The carnitas was the star of the show as was the melt in your mouth burrito. It feels like they put a lot of love into everything there. I love how they don't have chicken on the menu.

CarnitasCarrrne Asada

I ate the whole thing Jerry!

There are covered benches and even parking so you don't have to valet. Everything is so damn cute at this place. If you haven't been, which I'm sure you have, go go. It's delicious and simple.

Fuck Drive-Thrus (throughs)

I miss Los Feliz...

Why I hate mediocre Thai food...

2007-02-16T18:21:00.000-08:00

I know that I'm going to get a lot of flak for this (and the restaurant I'm going to write about as an example) but Thai food needs some work to me. First off, I've yet to travel to Thailand—I would love to someday—but it's not on my top 5. I would imagine that in Thailand, Thai cuisine would be incredible.

This is what I want

I've been thinking for some time that I didn't care too much for Thai food. I've tried tons and tons, at times gone to authentic Thai restaurants and very much enjoyed it, craved it and went back but have not been feeling it for a while. Earlier this week J and I were hungry, didn't want to spend much and lazy (plus our apartment was so messy you couldn't see the floor...that's a bad sign) and decided to walk to Toi on Sunset, which is close to our apartment. We both ordered lunch specials. There is something that I really love about ordering lunch specials, kind of similar to my love of prix-fixe menus. Yes, I know that sometimes restaurants try unload their old food onto you, especially some sushi joints (I would never order chicken off a prix-fixe menu) but if you go to the kind of place that serves seasonal food—it's perfect. There is something comforting to me about having an appetizer, soup (and if I get really lucky, an eggroll or spring roll filled with meat) and a main dish for a discounted price. It makes me feel safe, a little old and also, I really like going out to lunch. It must be why all old people I've seen always order small cups of coffee versus sizes as big as your face. Have you ever seen an old person order a large cup of coffee? They know better.

Every restaurants has problems...
J usually orders Pad Thai, the typical whitey dish, but that day he was feeling adventurous and ordered a chicken satay. I know that's not that adventurous, but it was different than his usual. I decided on Pad Kra Prao, beef with Thai basil and spices. Now I know that people are going to say, "Well, you gotta go to ____ or _____!!!" And yes it's true, I haven't given Thai food in LA much of a chance, considering Thai town has the largest Thai population outside of Thailand (useful tidbit from No Reservations). I've been meaning to try Sapp Coffee Shop and a few others I read about in blogs. I've given Thai restaurants in other cities chances. I've been to Tuk Tuk a few times and thought it was pleasant but nothing to write home about. I thought they concentrated more on ambiance than on the food, which is nice sometimes as a restaurant should also be enjoyable to sit in as well as eat. But food should be the most important part! For example, I love Soot Bull Jeep because they cook their meat on real hardwood but sometimes I wish it were a little cleaner. Not that I'm complaining, I don't even think I reek that much when coming out of the joint. My biggest beef with Thai food is that it's frankly too sweet. It's the Thai equivalent of teriyaki (meat candy) for adults. Take typical Pad Thai for instance: noodles coated in massive amounts of sugar and ketchupy dressing. I used to love the curries but stopped because they simply too sugary. But to me, pretty much most of the dishes on Thai menus taste laden with sugar, peanut sauce and/or coconut milk. It's not that I don't know how to order either, it's simply that things are too sweet for my taste. Imagine how sad it would be if sushi restaurants only served eel? I do, however, love almost all the soups at Thai restaurants. Give me a Yen Ta Four, Tum Yum Gai, seafood or beef noodle soup any day, and I'm a happy cat. I like larb gai, white sticky rice, fishcakes, and green papaya salad. I also like Thai basil and chilis, tamarind, kaffir lime leaves, and lemongrass...I just happen to like dishes that I can taste all the above. Thai food is supposed to be a harmonious blend of hot, sour, salty and sweet. The saddest salad ever. Actually the lettuce and cucumbers were crisp, my body was begging me to take a bite so I did. Still, it was part of the lunch special! Sorry little satays, you bore me.

Meh.

At Toi, the satay was dry and spiceless, my Pad Kra Prao too sugary. I could taste a little chili and basil but it...was...mostly...sugar. I know that if I ordered something different such as Pad See Ew, it would taste almost exactly the same: wide rice noodles, sugary, maybe more hints of soy sauce. But the sad thing is that I think so many Thai restaurants are like this. Still, I can't be mad at Toi, the lunch specials were only 6 bucks each and we weren't hungry after eating half.

So until then, I have resolved to only order soups and appetizers when going out for Thai food. Like most people, Americans especially, I think it's the sugar that keeps people coming back for Thai food. I'll wait to visit Thailand.

Happy Valentine's Day

2007-02-14T17:35:00.003-08:00

Hi everyone, I know that you are all scrambling to leave and get ready to go out to dinner, stay in or rent some "artistic" films but I thought I'd add some pictures to get you in the mood...

Mmm...meat. Sadly, this wasn't as tasty as it looks. It looks damn good though, doesn't it? This was from Bouchon (another post later). This is the unicycle man who we saw walking to his truck while parking for the Farmer's Market today. Too bad we didn't see him riding it.
Speaking of riding, here's a shot of a UCLA student riding home on his Vino scooter on Wilshire (or maybe picking up flowers for his baby). Funny for so many reasons.
Okay, here's some flowers and oysters for all of you. Hope everyone has a lovely evening with their loved ones. Light some candles and put on your SisQó cds (don't ask why he would put an accent on the o???). You all look very sexy tonight by the way.

Sexy time! Hi-five!

Baby, we gonna be up five hundy by midnight!

2007-02-11T13:26:00.000-08:00

Weeks ago, before all of my madness started, J and I embarked on yet another visit to Las Vegas. Mostly on a mission to play more poker (the new love of our lives) but of course to visit yet another new restaurant: the famous Rao's located at Caesar's Palace (where else in Vegas could it be located?). Vegas is a crazy place and though there are lot of new restaurants that are supposed to be wonderful, I found lots of them to be hyped up just like anywhere else. The sheer fact that J and I frequented Vegas so often in the last couple months does raise important questions about our sanity and exactly what kind of people we actually are. Terrifying? A little.

I heard of this magical far away restaurant years and years ago when I was just a kitten fascinated with mafia movies. For the record, I can (and yes, I know it's scary and nerdy) recite every line of The Godfather Part I, II and a few lines from the very best Godfather made, III. Hahahahaha. Don't you love it when people type hahahaha without any spaces? Of course one could always just type ha and we'd get the point but typing and reading hahahaha is much more fun, don't you think? The few times I was in New York, I never remembered and frankly, there are so many other things to do in New York, there is never enough time. Ever. Of course I'd read all the rumors and hype about how difficult it was to get reservations at the legendary East Harlem restaurant famous for having Scorcese, De Niro, and all the people from The Godfather (I know I could've used IMDB but Wikipedia is hilarious). You know, all the people whose fingers are stuck together and who know what real Italian-American food should be, yada yada yada. Did I spell that right? Also, a sucker I knew bought a jar of the Rao's Arrabbiata sauce and it was surprisingly tasty. Of course for $12/bottle, it better be fucking delicious.

I have to warn everyone that would like to score a reservation at the new Rao's that it is difficult for a number of reasons: first being, the management uses their hype to turn a lot of customers down, the reservations desk is completely disorganized, and for some reason they seem to not want to disclose their next openings. I don't let all the bullshit about how hard it is to get a table at places bother me so upon leaving LA, I called their reservations desk the night before.

Me: "I'd like to make a dinner reservation for tomorrow night."

Rao's: "We're completely booked tomorrow."

Me: "Okay. When is your first opening then?" I was prepared to wait for alater date. After all, Vegas is only 3 ½ hours away. Much closer and more accessible than New York.

Rao's: "How about 10:30 then?"

Me: "Tomorrow?"

Rao's: "Yes, what's the name?"

Great success! I'd scored a reservation, a late dinner reservation no less (I love to eat dinner early, like an old person), but at least a promise of dinner. The woman I spoke to was so hurried and didn't ask the usual questions and statements one gets asks when making a reservation, e.g. phone number, confirmation date and time, etc. Something felt wrong and I didn't trust her, so I suspiciously called back an hour later.

Me: "I'd like to confirm a reservation please."
Rao's: "Name?"

Me: "______ for tomorrow at 10:30 pm.

Rao's: "We don't see you in here. Could it be under a different day/time?"

Me: "Grrrr."

Of course I stupidly did not get the name of the person who "booked" the reservation and thus, was screwed. And yes, I know that when speaking to customer service people it always helps to get a name for a number of reasons, but damn it, I was hungry and so excited that I forget. But we went to Vegas anyway, and decided to attack. The first place we went was to the evil restaurant itself to see if maybe our reservation was there as it should have been. So we proceeded onto Rao's directly and encountered a crowd of people, some checking in, others trying to reserve a table, and one old man greasing the hostess's palm to change his existing reservation to a later time.

Me: "Hi, do you have a reservation under______ at 10:30?"

Rao's: "No, I don't see it. We're fully booked for the evening...."

I wasn't surprised in the least. I didn't want to grease the hostess's paw so we left, dejected and irritated.

Next stop: the Caesar's concierge desk. If anyone can help the hungry, it's the concierge desk right? Wrong.

Me: "I'd like to make a reservation for Rao's please." I pronounced it the way I read it: Rao's, like meow mee-ou but ree-ou's.
Retard at Caesar's: "Oh, you mean Ray-o's?" Ray-o's? Yeah, yeah whatever.

Me: "Yes."

Retard at Caesars: "They're fully booked this evening."

Me: Sigh. Of course they were. "Okay, when's the first opening?"

RAC: "Err, ......"

Humph! I pronounced them useless, pronunciation challenged and moved on. On our way out, I decided to call them again (I am a persistent little cat yes?). This time I spoke with yet another human and asked them when the first opening was to their fully booked reservations. The very next night at a time typically reserved for senior dining, 5:30 pm. Not a prime hour for dinner but so what? At least we could try the damn place.

So finally, after a day of poker and more poker, we dragged ourselves to Caesar's again. I have to say that Caesar's is probably one of my favorite hotels in Las Vegas. It is completely over the top but obviously expensive and well done, ornate in a fun way and exactly what I'd pictured Las Vegas to be, well you know. For the record, we've never actually stayed or played poker at Caesar's, though I hear they have an excellent Poker Room but Celine Dion, the world's most successful recording artist, performs there so how could you not love the place? Ha! Another hotel I really liked was The Venetian, where we stayed most of the time we were there. They have the best Poker Room, huge rooms, decent Poker Room food (best of all it's free if you play for hours and hours), Bouchon and the Bouchon Bakery where we'd get delicious hot croissants and delightful little bite size beignets filled with raspberry jam. Damn, can you tell I have ADD? Okay, back to Ray-o's. After making the trek from Caesar's casino and battling through the horde of crazy people, we arrived at the spankin' new glossy red building. It didn't really look like a real restaurant but an explosion of one of those tiny architectural models. And it was huge inside, the original Rao's has only one room but this had two replicas of the rooms, patio-style tables in front, a bar, and additional tables outside with views of the Caesar's pool. All the contents are supposed to be exact replicas of the original: pictures, lights, etc.

Look at all the fogeys in the room having early dinners. I'm really sad I didn't see anyone with an oxygen tank at any of the tables. A blurried, hurried shot of the bar.

For a restaurant that is always "completely booked" it was deserted. I know that we were seated at the fogey hour but we were there for more than an hour and it still wasn't remotely busy. The restaurant was cheerful: it didn't feel like New York like it was intended to, and it didn't feel like Vegas exactly, but more like a strange world of its own. But it was also cozy and more elegant than I thought it would be: dark wood, white tablecloths, Dean Martin crooning "That's Amore" in the background (not the real Dean Martin—he's dead), candles and excellent service. Yes, cheesy but fun. Good bread, good butter, important details.

A small problem we had that night (day) was that Vegas takes away my appetite. Whenever I'm there I'm rarely hungry and if I am, my body craves fresh oxygen and fresh fruits and vegetables to combat the unhealthy nature of the strip itself. By the time we sat down to order, I was overwhelmed and did not feel like ordering the entire menu like I usually do. So we were completely clichéd and ordered Rao's meatballs, the famous lemon chicken (who orders chicken at restaurants? I did that night), and fettuccine bolognese. The menu offered other classics and seafood dishes that looked promising but I was uncharacteristically unadventurous and a little weary. We ordered a couple of glasses of Sicilian Nero d'Avola that paired well with our dishes. Gotta do Sicilian right?

The food turned out to be not out of this world but pleasantly good. Actually, the meatballs were good, so good that I wanted to bust a cap in my waiter. But didn't. I have self-restraint and do not posses firearms of any kind. None whatsoever, not even in the locked box underneath my bed. The meatballs were so delicious, the kind of meatballs you dream your Italian grandmother would force you to eat on Sunday dinners. Partly due to the fact it tasted like they ground their meat fresh. My sister did that once when we made spaghetti and meatballs and goddamnit, it makes a difference. The texture of the meatballs were silky and smooth, and melted in your mouth.

These were a lot larger in real life. In fact they were two enormous balls. Why does everything have to be so phallic? If it's not penises, it's balls.
Next up, the fettuccine bolognese. Not the best bolognese I've ever had but pleasant and comforting. The fettuccine tasted fresh but not the perfect al dente I prefer. It's really hard not to overcook fresh pasta though. I'm such a snot. Rao's Famous Lemon Chicken. This is something that I enjoyed. If you didn't know already, I love lemon, garlic, and parsley. I can never get enough lemons in any dish and this was pure lemony goodness. The chicken was perfectly broiled: crispy and browned on the outside, coated in a sharp, garlicky, lemon marinade. This seems like a dish that would be extremely easy to make at home. Here's the the recipe online, I haven't tried it yet but will have to soon.

For dessert we were still feeling boring and were promised by our waiter that their tiramisu was "to die for." They always say that.

Beautiful presentation. Aerial shot.

I couldn't decide which picture was better. I'm extremely snobby about tiramisu-never snobby enough to not polish the entire thing off-but snobby enough to always find fault with something, e.g. perfect cake, sucky ladyfingers, too chocolaty, not enough booze. This one had all the good characteristics of a delicious tiramisu: creamy mascarpone that didn't have too much sugar, nice strength of espresso, shaved chocolate...but not boozy enough for me. "You know what this cake needs? Booze."
Actually, though it looks nice, the espresso sucked.

We saw Frank Pellegrino Jr. and Sr., respectively, eating in front of the joint on patio-style tables and made eye contact but I did not accost him for a picture. I know I could have, and am sure he would have gladly agreed, but the man was eating and I did not want to disturb him with, "Hiiii, I just started a food blog and ..." Also I am not very photogenic so it would have been an ugly ass picture anyway. Besides, I took pictures of what's really important—the food, what else do you want from me?

This is the longest post ever, my apologies. I would recommend Rao's if you're in Vegas and want to drop a lot on dinner, of course it's impossible not to spend a lot of dough on dinner in Vegas. But then again, you could make all your money back on slot machines!
There was a gift shop Rao's for tourists filled with overpriced jars of sauces, dried pastas and t-shirts that read "I Got a Table at Rao's." I got these matches for free on my way out!

Rao's
Caesar's Palace
Las Vegas
(702) 731-RAOS (7267)

Make sure you get a name.

Teaser and/or eye soother

2007-02-11T02:18:00.000-08:00

Apparently I have grossed out J because he won't even look at my page. Because there is no way one can lose in the Hoff game, he found it lame (I really didn't mean to do that by the way).

So I will post a picture of something that I'll talk about tomorrow. Can anyone guess what post will follow?

It's a lot harder than it looks

2007-02-10T14:59:00.000-08:00

I just finished waxing David Hasselhoff's chest furs! It was really difficult around his nipples.

That said, now that I'm unemployed, I spend way too much time online. It's time for lunch.

Try it yourself www.waxhoff.com

Merci Chez Nicole, you've made my afternoon complete.

Hope this worked up your appetite! Now I'm just being mean, aren't I?

Soggy cereal late night

2007-02-09T01:44:00.000-08:00

Rant Tempura on the side please

Because I'm on the topic of soup...and my love for big, steaming bowls of goodness, can someone please tell me why when ordering a bowl of Tempura Soba Noodle Soup, why does the lovely, crispy (freshly) fried shrimp tempura automatically get drowned in the broth? Why oh why is it that on the rare occasion I forget to ask for the tempura on the side, I am brought a bowl of sogginess?

Anybody? Am I alone here? It's a tragedy, there's no way soggy tempura tastes better. Am I the lone sicko?

I Heart Soup

2007-02-08T17:52:00.000-08:00

What does one do on a "cold" gray day in LA after quitting a stressful job and finally emerging from a mini meltdown? Why soup of course.

For lunch I made Chicken Tortilla Soup for J and myself. It's so strange to be making lunch during the day. I should have made something a little more soothing, more comforting like Matzo Ball soup or good old Chicken Noodle but having not stepped foot in a kitchen for weeks or a grocery store for that matter, this recipe was perfect for today: fast, simple and requires only a few minimal ingredients. This entire recipe can be done in a hurry in about 30 minutes-take that Rachael Ray.

Chopping vegetables are very soothing to me. When I'm feeling extra OCD my vegetables are chopped perfectly. Today my chopping was sloppy and uneven-oh well.

1 medium yellow onion, chopped

2-3 garlic cloves, minced
Olive oil

1 Carton of chicken stock (4 cups)

1 can tomato puree

Sliver of red pepper (about 1/4 cup), finely chopped

1 jalapeño pepper, a sliver (more or less depending on taste), finely minced
Few turns of peppermill

Pinch of sea salt

1 tablespoon cumin

1 teaspoon sugar

1 teaspoon chili powder

2-3 chicken breasts (thighs, or whatever you have laying around), cooked, cubed or pulled

2-3 corn tortillas, finely chopped

Cilantro, roughly chopped

Avocado slices (optional)

Lime slices

What is this you ask? Tortillas, dumb dumb.

I would recommend starting the chicken first though I have to admit whenever I make this I put J in charge of cooking the chicken. I absolutely hate cooking chicken breasts because I always seem to cook them too long which results in dry, flavorless, unhappy chicken. Per J, he brines (♥) the breasts for about an hour or so depending on time and seasons with salt and pepper. Sometimes he adds garlic or chili powder and bakes at 425 degrees in foil until done about 20 minutes. Make them anyway that makes you happy, just do it.

In a large pot, sauté onions and garlic in olive oil until softened. Add the chicken stock, tomato puree, red pepper, jalapeño, sugar, cumin, chili powder, salt and pepper. Bring to a low boil, reduce heat and simmer about 20 minutes. Stir occasionally.

Bung in chicken and tortillas, simmer about 5 minutes. I like to set aside one tortilla, cut into 1 inch pieces and pan fry in a generous amount of olive oil. I love the hot crispiness of the tortillas. Usually I finish most of them off before garnishing the soup. Add cilantro and slices of avocado which, sniff, I didn't, sniff, have today. Avocados and limes are very nice in this. The limes add even more flavor to the soup.

Not a very flattering picture but he was having a bad picture day. Serves two or 10 (depending on appetite). J and I usually scarf the whole thing down in one sitting. Again we always mean to make more but are lazy.

Whenever I'm down or just want something warm and comforting, I crave soup. I could eat soup everyday. It's a gentle, nourishing warm hug. Olé!

Pici!

2007-01-12T09:58:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone.
Who can resist those orange clogs? Look at him pimpin' with Parmigiano Reggiano.

J has begun watching Molto Mario a couple of months ago and who is reaping the benefits more than me? Well, in theory, Batali, Food Network, advertisers, etc. but I'd like to think mostly me because I heart Batali's style, J's cooking, and fresh pasta. My eyes get all glassy when I talk about it. I also scored this Batali cookbook for a New Year's present (Thanks Miguel!) so right now it's Mario this and Mario that. Still, I can't complain.
Well...I complained almost the entire time we decided to make pici! a couple of nights ago. There is a recipe for Pici with Lamb Ragu-we didn't have lamb but still wanted to make something hands on (shame on you). First off, one cannot just say "pici." You have to say, "Pici!" like a little kid. Pici is a delicious, chewy Tuscan pasta that is basically made from semolina, flour and water. You take tiny bits of it and roll it between your hands. Sound fun? During the process, you and your pici! partner (not as much fun when you are alone) intermittently scream, "Pici!" Then you bitch and complain about how much your paws hurt from making this death pasta. During the show Mario said he liked to put his kids to work when making pici! but he neglected to mention that mashochists might also enjoy an afternoon or evening of pici! as well. It's always fun to put children and animals to work though isn't it? You're sick!
We had to tear tiny bits off the entire hunk of dough. Those are big ones bro.
Zee pain, yow.
To me fresh pasta makes a dish. There is truly a difference between fresh and dried. There is nothing better than freshly made pappardelle (one of my favorites). Let's just say that I am a sucker for fresh pasta. As soon as I win $40 playing poker again, which I did last week(!!), I'm going to buy a pasta roller. J does not mind kneading dough (bless his furry heart) and I do not possess big, burly hands so if he kneads and punches I will roll. Or watch in lovingly supportive way. And now...

The Fruits of Our Labor (it looked better in person. Poor food styling, oh well.

We had to do a simple sauce because 1) we didn't have lamb to make a ragu 2) we were too tired after all the rolling 3) fresh pasta doesn't require a complicated sauce. It's that good.

Pici! had a really nice bite to it. We did a simple sauce of tomatoes, basil, garlic and salami. And of course a sprinkling of Parmigiano Reggiano. I think it would also be very nice in a butter or cream sauce. Maybe some sage. I could hardly make a fist after a few strands but the end product was worth it. I was such a wimp. We're thinking next time we'll invite some people over for dinner and put them to work. Pici!

I think I deserved some wine after all of that, don't you?

The remaining strands look like tenacles.