tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-44830803534685529362008-05-13T11:45:00.000+01:002008-05-13T11:45:00.000+01:00Punish both siblings equally for the crime of quarrelling. No investigation into "who started it", both are at fault for escalating it. If your garden is private enough, punish them by throwing them out of the house. Otherwise shut them both in the same bedroom. (Part of the idea is to get them to gang up in sympathy against nasty mummy.)<BR/><BR/>Obviously also at another time suggest strategies so that situations won't escalate. And, as you are doing, try to ameliorate the underlying aggravating circumstances. But punish the unwanted behaviour, particularly this antisocial behaviour which will serve them badly in the wider world.<BR/><BR/>(Can you allocate your mother a responsibility? If she can't manage any household task, maybe working on a family scrapbook with memories of previous generations which only she can do.)IHRSquaredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13880654235446801248noreply@blogger.com