Vision Quest

How Can Vulnerability Protect Your Back?

2009-05-27T22:53:00.000-07:00

I just started reading a newly released book by Keith Ferrazzi called "Who's Got Your Back". While I am still fairly early in the book I liked the concept of how close deep relationships can help you achieve anything you want in life whether it be losing weight, overcoming a setback, or whatever your definition of career success. In other words, another key way to help yourself achieve your dreams...which deep down has always been the focus of my life and thus my blog as well!

What strikes me about the book so far is the emphasis the author Keith places on Vulnerability and how that is a critical key to having strong relationships. More specifically, the necessity of demonstrating your own personal vulnerability to key people within your circle. By letting others in to our own lives and letting them know we're not superhuman helps in the development of a relationship where we want and need to help each other. How great is that?

As I was reading this, I had an epiphany that 4 out of my 5 closest friendships developed and emerged at borderline crisis times during my life. Actually, probably all 5 did to some extent. Exposing my vulnerabilities to these individuals and letting them know I needed help not only gave me the help I needed but helped us fill those strong bonds as well.

Breaking Out of the Funk

2009-05-22T12:28:00.000-07:00

I've discussed the moments of being in a funk before in my life. Everyone gets into a funk at some point, although some it takes much longer to get out of while some are very rarely in them for very long.

I've been in one probably ever since I got back from Colombia. Not because the trip was bad, it wasn't. It was a great trip that I also learned a lot from. The thing was that before I started the Miami and Colombia trips, I had very certain outcomes in mind. I made a lot of progress on them in many ways but I had thought I had put everything in motion to make them come fully into fruition.

All of my outcomes and goals are still within reach, but they seem to have stalled. The question is: is there anything left I can do to move them forward?

So, I've essentially been just sitting and waiting for something to happen. All signs were positive that they would. But the waiting has proven that there's not a lot going on and now being motivated to do anything is an issue...don't you just hate that?

So, what could I have done to break things out sooner?

*Start my day with positive thoughts and affirmations
*Giving thanks for all the good things that ARE already present in my life
*Visualizing my ideal outcomes becoming a reality
AND doing these on a regular basis!!! So key that I sometimes forget.

So, a positive scream here, some positive fun music there, and reviewing many of my reasons for being grateful, I'm coming out of it!

Now, I just get to pick and choose all the wonderful things I want to happen next!

Humble & Hungry

2009-05-15T16:57:00.001-07:00

Recently heard a recording by Jon Gordon author of "The Energy Bus" and countless other bestsellers. His latest release is called "Training Camp: What the best do better than anyone else".

Basically, he describes the people that are the best as Humble and Hungry. Humble as in they don't think they know it all and combined with being Hungry, are always striving to get better and improve.

Two simple concepts, but VERY powerful!!! If we all just concentrated on being those two things, can you imagine how much better our lives would be?

Clean Break

2009-05-06T01:05:00.000-07:00

Interestingly enough, the girl I thought I had a future with not only broke it off and put unrealistic expectations on our friendship also seems to have broken off our friendship. At first, it just seemed like a fight that didn't seem to make any sense since we gave each other happiness even as friends.

Shortly after being told we would talk in a week, she broke off communication and eliminated the 3 primary communication routes that we had with each other.

I was shocked but I have to admit it helped me realize even quicker that something just wasn't quite right, and that maybe it wasn't just me or the actions I took. Despite caring for her, I got over things even quicker.

Days later, I was looking for new women in my life and re-uniting with girls I have known even longer than her. And realizing that there are a lot of attractive people out there that I can have joy with and enjoy being with me.

So the Setback

2009-04-28T14:42:00.000-07:00

I decided not to combine the one setback with the progress and achievement. No sense in a message getting lost. So, the setback is actually on the relationship side.

So, with the whole trying to change jobs and move to Miami thing I haven't had a huge focus on relationships. It just hasn't been a priority and I wasn't finding anyone I really found that interesting (Note: I have been dating but I rarely talk about it unless it's something pretty special). So, I've been maintaining a friendship with this girl who we had a fling together before. There were a lot of external reasons why we never got together but I didn't think there was anything wrong with our relationship.

I thought there were signs we were moving back towards a relationship. However, she didn't see it that way at all and the fact that I saw it a different way actually threatened our friendship. Well, what I'm wondering is "If it truly was a friendship and my friendship was valued, why was I doing all the work?"

Don't get me wrong. Let's try to forget the fact that there was a romantic interest there but I seem to be encountering a lot of friendships with the opposite sex where they expect me to do manly things like be the one to call, always the one to invite the other out, etc. I even had a different girl say let's get together sometime as friends...I told her, sounds great, why don't you call me and let me know...even though it was her suggestion, she responded immediately, why don't you call me? Ummm...didn't I just say that? Do you want to get together or not?

Anyway, I just want to say take a close look at your friendships. Are they mutual? Granted some of our friends may have busier lives than we do and sometimes there is merit in being the one to reach out 90% of the time. But, do we (or you!) make sure we're doing proactive reaching out a significant portion of the time? If you or me or they are never making an effort, maybe we're a bad friend, they're a bad friend or there's some area of improvement. Just a thought.

Again, this isn't to say this only happens with girl-guy friendships (although that is definitely an interesting dynamic). This is also to say...are you working too hard at friendships that are not being returned? and/or are there any friendships you value where you let the other friend do all the work?

Thoughts? Opinions?

Progress and Setbacks

2009-04-28T14:30:00.000-07:00

So, this has really been an amazing month for me on so many levels. I have been progressing in my health, losing weight, and a huge uptick in my career. I've been interviewing for my dream job. It was questionable whether I was even qualified and whether I should even apply at first.

But, as I have always said I believe in the pursuit of ones dreams...especially my own ;-)

So, I did some research and reached out to some people that I thought might be knowledgeable about the position. Turned out they were familiar with the group and that they might appreciate my background. I also did some research and blindly reached out to the guy that I thought might have had the position before. Awesome idea! Then I followed up with e-mails and resumes outside of the traditional application process and they thanked me for it. We got the ball rolling and it seemed to be looking very good through 7 interviews! Then all of a sudden things went flat and I wasn't hearing from anyone. I took it within my own hands and said what can I do to move this forward? So, I scheduled a trip to Miami on my own dime and told the key contacts that I was going to be there and I'd be happy to meet with them if they were free on any of the days. I wasn't sure it was going to work at first, but I ended up getting meetings with 3 people, 2 of which were probably the biggest decision makers. So, 10 interviews and I'm possibly done. I get a call from the hiring director and he says that I had a good day and those guys are not easy to impress. He wanted me to meet with one more guy a VP. I spoke with the VP and he's talking like I have the job and he says he has no concerns...BUT, he says he thinks I should speak with one more VP before accepting the job. Unfortunately, that VP has been traveling internationally and now I am. So...I'm in wait mode for a little bit longer.

What I am hoping is that even if I don't get it, it shows I'm in the ballpark, maybe even have a chance to get on the field and play. If I don't get this one, I'll get the next one. Because I'm going to work my ass off to achieve my dreams because it really does pay off.

So many things....

2009-04-03T00:09:00.000-07:00

the past two weeks...my boss gave me a 6th person to manage. My first time managing someone older than me. Lost my cell phone but only for 3 hours....wasn't willing to go longer without it.

Running or working out consistently, should be breaking my lowest weight in 3 years if not 4 years within the week. My Miami dream is still in my sights although I may have to pull some trick to pull off the dream scenario.

In terms of pulling off tricks, I have decide to go to Miami 2 weekends from now! I'm really excited about it! Also starting to get super excited about yet another wedding in Colombia in less than a month from now.

The GTD productivity stuff is kicking in. I've done so well at cleaning out my files and building a task list. Had my work e-mail inbox below 50, probably below 30 for almot an entire week. Feels GOOD.

Purpose in Getting Things Done

2009-03-23T12:27:00.001-07:00

Cover via Amazon

I'm currently reading "Getting Things Done" by Best Selling Author David Allen. He gives some really great tips, behaviors, and a system for being more productive.

What I found most interesting is that he takes time to suggest that it is critical to be aware of everything that is going on in your life from your life (till the day you die) goals, to your top goals for the next 5 years, yearly, and all the way down to a weekly and daily task level.

This is totally in line with how I have been doing my life and career planning for years but David helps with a many critical pieces for actually making it work.

The one I am focusing on for this week is "Purpose". Every project or activity we are doing or trying to achieve we should be able to answer the question "Why?". Why is it important that we do this activity? achieve this goal? etc. etc.

It's more powerful than one realizes. It provides clarity, a means of prioritizing, and gives an energy boost to move forward. If it doesn't or you can't answer of why, then it's probably a good sign of whether you should be doing the activity at all.

Let's start this week off with a bang!

Blogging Topics?

2009-03-19T00:43:00.001-07:00

So, anyone that has followed my blog or has had some long in-depth conversations probably knows I am a big believer in DREAMS and the relentless pursuit of them. I've even been known to create mini "business" plans for all the top dreams and goals in my life.

So, I'm wondering whether I should start making my blog more streamlined: focusing only on ONE topic, or A FEW related topics, or whether to keep writing random topics on whatever. For the most part my topics have been random and my posting sporadic.

I'm wondering...do I have anything to share in helping others learn how to pursue their dreams? Maybe some insight also into the Law of Attraction which some might know as "The Secret"? Do I have career advice to give? Job Hunting advice? Networking advice? And maybe even relationship advice? OK, ok...NOT talking about romantic relationships at least.

Let me know what you think. Would you read it? Would you benefit from yet "another" source on the topic? I'm curious to know what you think

What...

2009-03-12T02:10:00.001-07:00

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

No, REALLY....what would you do? What would you be? Where would you live? What would your work and life look like?

You...

2009-03-07T22:11:00.001-08:00

You will shine like the sun of Miami

Not making a choice IS making a choice!

2009-03-06T14:42:00.000-08:00

This is an excerpt from an article written by Judy Williamson, Director of the Napoleon Hill World Learning Center

Napoleon Hill is most known for writing "Think and Grow Rich" and "The Laws of Success"

"As an English Major in college, I was assigned to read the short story entitled “Bartleby the Scrivener” by Herman Melville. Melville wrote this work after authoring the classic novel Moby Dick. Bartleby was the main character in the story, and he was an unusual one. One day after being employed as a copywriter in a legal office he was given an assignment and his simple response was, “I would prefer not to.” Over time, this became his usual rejoinder, much like a mantra. This bewildered everyone, and answers were sought that would explain his behavior. Sadly, the situation worsened, and predictably Bartleby “preferred” himself right out of life. As the story concludes, the reader is forced to wonder why Bartleby decided not to decide. Did he believe his non-decisiveness was creating a safety net around him, or did he feel that by not deciding he was asserting his independence? Whatever his rationale, in the end he was the loser. His lack of deciding self-selected him for extinction.....

....Decide not to be rigid, but flexible. Do the unexpected. Take a risk. Accept a challenge. See what the Universe brings to your doorstep. And, who knows? You may just catch a falling star, capture a leprechaun, rub the magic lamp, and really find your pot of gold at the end of the rainbow just as we read about as children. But, you won’t do this unless you are flexible enough to reply as winners reply, “Yes, I can!”"

My thoughts...as Bartleby demonstrated he didn't really choose to do anything. Well, the less decisions you make means the less actions you take. If you stand still while others are moving, your lack of making a choice is choosing to fall behind!

I can say this from personal experience that my only regrets in life are when I failed to make a decision and just left things to chance. Because this also meant I wasn't taking much action, which also means I wasn't in control! We have A LOT of power over our own lives. Yes, we can't get caught up in what we can't control either...BUT, if we choose to not take control of our lives at all, no one else will either!

Free

2009-02-22T23:26:00.000-08:00

Just finished off paying off ALL of my credit card debt. It's a fantastic feeling to have one less thing to deal with!!!

Of course, there are still grad school loans to pay. But, I can start making choices about which of those it makes sense to pay off as quickly as I can...and which ones it doesn't!!!

About some time somebody said it!!!!

2009-02-10T13:05:00.000-08:00

“The current economic environment has been described in many ways: the greatest crisis in a half-century; the first meltdown of global proportions; the greatest threat to U.S. leadership.

I believe we should describe it another way: the biggest opportunity of our lifetime. We now have the opportunity to re-invent the way we manage companies and get work done. With the government considering a stimulus package, we have the ability to invest this funding in the areas that could potentially transform companies, industries and our economy.”

-John Chambers, CEO, Cisco

We Have the Power

2009-01-23T18:50:00.000-08:00

So, I was talking with an old friend that I haven't spoken to in years. She said something that struck a chord with me. She said that anything that I have ever said I'm going to do, I've done. What a great compliment!

The interesting thing is that how often are we ever satisfied with where we are in life? I mean... I'm happy, I'm grateful for what I have, and I really have no complaints. But, on the other hand...have I gone after everything that I've wanted in life? Have I held back? Have I relentless pursued all of my dreams?

I'm not convinced I have any special powers. However, I am convinced that all of us are all powerful. I do believe that if we do set our minds to do something and make a concrete decision to make something happen...we will find a way to make it happen.

So, it's time I got back on that path. Dreams don't come true if we spend all our time dreaming.

Breathless

2009-01-06T18:32:00.000-08:00

I know I have always commented that it took me 20 years of life before I ever was very passionate about anything. I doubt it took me that long to find something that simply took my breath away...but it seems like it has been a number of years since I felt that way. I officially am left breathless again.

If feeling this way isn't more fuel for pursuing ones dreams, I am not sure what is.

New Year: New Beginnings

2009-01-05T22:16:00.000-08:00

So much I wanted to post again during December but nothing quite seemed appropriate. I do know that despite what you read in the newspapers for me 2008 was a pretty good year. It's hard to say where 2008 ranks on my all time greatest hits, but maybe that's because having a pretty decent year is becoming commonplace with me :-)

I'm REALLY excited about 2009. The last quarter of 2008 has me re-focused and a new year has me re-energized. I'm committed to taking more chances whether it's speaking up in front of the entire department and a VP who has no idea who the hell I am (check) or committing myself to risk my cushy job and trying to re-locate to Miami or Bogota (check again!).

I'm the healthiest I have been in a long time and I'm committed to keep getting healthier. I WILL be fluent in spanish this year. I may or may not run another half-marathon. If I don't it will be because there are other things I prioritize more highly...it won't be because I'm scared, that's for sure (been there, done that).

Already, I am networking my butt off. I am not sure where my path will lead me, but I'm confident it will be pretty good no matter what.

In the meantime, I am implementing New Year's HABITS, not resolutions. It's time to let my light shine. This is going to be FUN.

Holy Horoscope!

2008-12-03T02:13:00.000-08:00

OMFG! My horoscope for the entire month is so in line with everything I have been planning in my life, it's not even funny. I can say this with all seriousness because I read the horoscope AFTER a lot of this stuff had already started to happen.

So, many great years for me all in a row! 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008. All have gotten progressively better from year to year (with some up & down fluctuation between 97 and 98 of course :-). Could 2009 be the best year of all time? I THINK SO!!!

You Can Change Your World...

2008-12-01T14:54:00.000-08:00

“Clearly define to yourself what you want to attain in life. Say to yourself: I can do it. I can do it now. Make a plan and chart the steps you must take to reach your goal. Take them one at a time, and you will find that with each success the next step comes easier and easier as more and more people are attracted to help you achieve your ultimate purpose.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Are you satisfied with where you are and the direction you are going? If not, take control of your life and change whatever needs to be changed. You and only you have the power to do this. You can change your world.”

- Napoleon Hill

Dreams

2008-11-30T23:48:00.000-08:00

Keep Following Your Dreams. You Have the Right Stuff to Achieve Them.

Balance

2008-11-18T16:58:00.000-08:00

Well, I think I have made a lot of progress since my last post. I've increased my focus and more importantly taking action on the most important things in my life: Working on Spanish Fluency and Getting Healthier being two of the most important things to me right now.

Been doing tutoring and/or spanish conversation groups 2-3 times a week and exercising 3 times a week. I'd like to increase both of these activities but the problem is I'm not sleeping enough!!! Part of it is probably spending more time on my social and dating life than I really need to be/want to be. What an interesting problem to have, huh?

I am contemplating some other "life changing" decisions but I think the most important thing is taking small actions and progressing towards my goals as much as I can. Rome doesn't get built in a day.

Slowly Growing Again

2008-10-24T14:28:00.000-07:00

So, thanks to those noticing my re-birth and your support. Things are still slow but progressing. I have been focusing on my desires and what those that look like more lately, but have to continue to do that on a more consistent basis. Consistency in some ways has been elusive in the past. Consistency in my passion for what I want is now the focus.

I think I'm back on track with knowing what excites me although the list seems shorter than ever before. I'm looking into taking some classes and attending other events around these passions starting next week. Also, coming to the realization that I need to schedule sleep time.

In other areas where I am not as sure, I'm committed to just keep moving. Any direction is better than standing still. Question is, how much do I listen to my friends' advice and how much do I listen to my heart?

Re-birth Re-do

2008-09-29T02:11:00.000-07:00

So, the complete re-birth never quite happened, but at least I'm on my way.

Half-marathon...DONE.
Raising over $4,000 for cancer research...DONE
Blood pressure went from dangerous to God damn I'm a healthy bitch.
Still have a job and still getting paid.

Still, I've been running around in neutral and numb and just haven't stopped to admit it. Health good in some areas, but in others...blah.

Work...I can't believe I'm bored already. Man, the excitement didn't last long...and No, it is not the corporate life getting me down.

So...the real re-birth starts now....

What would excite me?

What's a dream worth battling for?

What would I do and have if I knew I could not fail?

Re-birth

2008-08-31T02:42:00.000-07:00

So long since writing....I guess I have been afraid a little of putting myself out there. Life IS amazing in almost every way. But, when true love doesn't seem to work out it's hard to face. I never felt devastated as I kind of always...and I guess I still do...have hope.

But, the job has moved on an evolved. Have to get my act together there. I have taken on the half-marathon challenge while fundraising money for cancer research and it looks like that will go amazing. Potential romance has shown up again but the recent past is still there.

Anyway, had an amazing night tonight. Re-united with so many people from the past...and I mean PAST that it was awesome. Re-living the receent past was harder. We'll see. Things are looking good so far/

Por que?

2008-04-29T22:20:00.000-07:00

Por que son locas las colombianas?