Comments on Seduction Central: Aquarius man acting very distant

well, i have a relatively quick question (i think)...

2008-08-09T20:13:00.000-04:00

well, i have a relatively quick question (i think). why in the HELL are aries and aquarius supposed to be compatible? this seems like a total lie to me.

i'm an aries on the cusp of pisces (leo rising, gemini moon, venus in taurus), which i know very well makes me a handful. i've tried to date a couple of aquarian boys, and the first one worked out well for the short time it did only because i wasn't super invested in it—i knew it wouldn't last long, and was moving away anyhow. he was very intense for an aquarian, proclaiming his interest in me from the beginning, writing a song for me and playing it for me on my voicemail, things like that. we didn't have a clean end to things, which was actually fine with me, because i didn't really see him as a serious potential partner. again, probably why we had chemistry! LOL.

the second aquarian really threw me for a loop, though. he had the SAME BIRTHDAY as the first one (feb 2nd), though 3 years older. the first time we met was instant chemistry, and our first date went really well. i'm surprised now he didn't run for the hills when i told him i wasn't interested in any kind of casual dating (or casual sex), so if he was open to that idea fine—but if not, i was outta there. he was actually surprisingly open for a while, and it seemed like we made some kind of connection. but after that? he closed up like a tomb.

see, i couldn't understand whether he was interested in me or not, because he would only pay me rare compliments in the most oblique way possible which, i'm sorry, does not work with an aries. we require more attention than that, or our enormous fragile egos deflate and we exit at emergency speed. and although i would ask him a lot of questions about whatever he was interested in, his work, and so on, he never really did the same. so how can a straightforward aries POSSIBLY be compatible with slippery aquarius? it really seems that they aren't interested in open books, and don't like to be read, either.

i gave up after the third date (although we've been emailing each other trying to figure out all the things that went wrong, which i find funny), but i think i should probably cross "aquarius" off my potential dating list. "virgo" already has 3 X-es through it. ;)

so why are aries and aquarius supposed to be compatible? i get the fire and air thing, but maybe i should stick to the geminis.

Pochahontas again: Ok so he called me last week to...

2008-07-30T16:41:00.000-04:00

Pochahontas again: Ok so he called me last week to say hello and that he misses me but didn't have long to talk but would call me at 9pm he didn't. Still haven't heard from him. Wonder if this carries on what will happen. I don't know they say Taureans aren't so good for Aquarians, what about Taureans born on the 22nd April, ruled by Uranus and Venus? What does everybody else think about this guy from my last post?

I was with an Aquarius for 8 months and it was ama...

2008-07-27T22:37:00.000-04:00

I was with an Aquarius for 8 months and it was amazing. He was very emotional and awesome but then all of a sudden he cheated on me and I couldn't understand why. After it happened, I tried to box him in thinking he wanted me to fight for us but I soon realized I just pushed him completely away. Now Im finding all this information about how to deal with an Aquarius and I wish I would have found it sooner. I understand that they are unpredictable but its also soooo very draining that although it may seem worth it at the time, now the pain I feel is just not worth all the time I've spent being sad. I let go completely but I wonder if he even misses me.

Hi Jeffrey!Pochahontas hereA while ago I posted ab...

2008-07-12T18:07:00.000-04:00

Hi Jeffrey!
Pochahontas here

A while ago I posted about a Leo man, I'm a sun Taurus, Venus in Aries, Moon in Capricorn. Anyway, so needless to say you were right and the relationship with the Leo ended. Then I met an Aquarian end of April. He told me almost 4 weeks ago that a few weeks prior to that he'd felt himself falling for me really fast and he was scared. This was after I'd got upset with him for working so much and how little I see him (yes I know now that was a dumb move because he pulled back after that). However, after this he did in fact show jealousy towards other men around me and became very physical and affectionate. One time I was with some guy friends went home with them (they walked me home) and suddenly he really wanted to talk, send me messages but this time even said sweet dreams to me (always really unemotive texts before).Then I left the country early July (for around 4 months) he works all the time and didn't even see me before I left, 2 weeks before I left I never saw him once, even when we'd spoken on the phone and everything seemed to be going nicely! He does work more hours than God. Called him once I was here and he was very affectionate and regretted how he had not given me enough of his time. However it's been a week and I've heard nothing. Why? He says he likes me but then why didn't he even see me before I left the country for months on end. Lately I've been contacting him all the time but for a week I've stopped....should I wait and see how long it takes him to get back to me or wait a lot longer until I contact him again? Any advice would be appreciated, thanks

Im an aquarius woman, I have a twin brother who ca...

2008-07-11T05:49:00.000-04:00

Im an aquarius woman, I have a twin brother who can be extremely distant at times so i know how this goes...What you all NEED to understand about aquarians is that we can hold an immense amount of love all concentrated on one itsy bitsy particle of affection. The reason the affection is so limited is because chances are, we're terrified of being hurt, were more like cancers than you realize...we become distant to test you, we want you to acknowledge it and come running, we value emotions more than you realize, well at least in my experience, im extremely sensitive, i dont have an incredible amout of water in my chart, my mars is cancer, my mercury is pisces, my moon libra, my rising virgo. Maybe it's because im a woman, but i've shed my share of tears and it's so draining because it all flows out at once, our emotions can get VERY intense, and as for sex, trust is key, listening is key. Aquarius is extremely honest because we know lying can end in destruction, so try not to take criticisms to heart and try suggesting that they state things more tactfully. I don't know about all the aquarians to ever exists, but my life is full of them, and i dont always get along with them, i dont get along with libras famously either when things go deeper, my best friends are cancers, taurus, and scorpio, my ex boyfriend is a scorpio (we broke up mutually because he lives too far away, now we're just close friends), my current boyfriend is a cancer and I love them all eternally.
Maybe im just not a stereotypical aquarius, but i know what im capable of, and I do care deeply for those i love, i've cried over trivial things, im extremely emotional, i love being wrapped up in my boyfriend's arms. The things that will scare me off the quickest are emotional detachment, false personas, lies, dishonesty, not recognizing emotional intelligence, unnecessary criticism, apathy, cockiness, and most of all, judgments like these.

They say that when you get a committment from a Aq...

2008-07-04T07:27:00.000-04:00

They say that when you get a committment from a Aq male you really have something because they have a fear of committment. I know that is true for them. I have the committment for nearly 2 yrs and trust him as he has given me no reason to doubt. We have spoke of marriage and I was sure it would happen. My problem is he feels betrayed by me because he escorted me to a party for an ex, at the time he wasn't sure it was my ex, I didn't tell him for shame of haven been with a community leader and a married man. (It has been over for nearly 2yrs.) I never told anyone about the affair. He asked me before about this person and I lied, twice. But the night of the party he was sure I had and I admitted it. He hasn't been the same since. there is no closeness no emotion no affection at all. It's like I crushed him and all the life in im is gone. I feel awful for hurting him. I wish I could fix it. He speaks to me like i am just his friend. He asked for a break but I think he won't be back so I haven't left him alone. I just backed away a little. Aq males can you please help me understand and figure out what to do, or should I just do nothing and wait? thanks

Thank you very much Rob. That was very insightful....

2008-06-30T22:43:00.000-04:00

Thank you very much Rob. That was very insightful.

I have always talked to him in a respectful manner, so he would never focus on my delivery and only the issue. He listens and falls back for a day and then he'll want to make up without actually communicating. Its usually physical (a kiss, a joke etc). I guess at this point I'm kind of tired of talking to him about these issues if I feel he's not getting the point. I think I will most definetly sign us up for some counseling because now he wants to drink/smoke to block out what's bothering him. The whole aloofness KILLS me.

If any other Aqua men are out there please give me your feedback. Thanks again Rob.

In all honesty, and I'm certainly not an expert, I...

2008-06-30T16:37:00.000-04:00

In all honesty, and I'm certainly not an expert, I would try sitting down with him and having a serious talk.

It may not be prudent to go and end the relationship just by reading whatever signs may be presenting themselves. Especially since there's a kid in the mix and both of you have no doubt entered into a whole new and scary world of having to manage a new life.

I see some similarities here with a relationship I had with a girl for three years. I'm an aqua and she was a Pisces. The super close attachment, while exhilarating, made me feel a bit claustrophobic in the long run.

Yes I flirted a bit, looked at pictures of other women and made comments that my aloof self should have known were going to hurt the other person. But I always chalked it up to human nature, because I would never have gone and blatantly cheated on someone I loved.

Think for your child too. If you can't get him to drop the cool act and talk to you one-on-one maybe try a relationship councilor for a few sessions just to get everything into the open. But one thing that will certainly not help with an aquarius is getting nitpicky and invasive. Just make him feel the gravity of what's going through your head and talk to him.

If then he isn't responsive. Maybe it's to cut your losses.

Okay...I just posted but I actually need advise be...

2008-06-30T16:22:00.000-04:00

Okay...I just posted but I actually need advise because I feel myself about cut him loose!

He is Feb 15 and I am June 23.

My relationship is up and down. When its up, its extremely high. And when its down it, he ends up breaking my heart. But somehow we get it together.

My distrust started within a month of dating him when I saw him making sexual comments about other girls pictures on myspace. I told him it hurt me and he stopped and apologized.

Next 6 months later, I found texts on his phone between him and a girl. They were texting pictures and he was commenting on them. I told him and he didn't understand the big deal but promised not to do it again because I threatened to end the relationship.

I just had our first child. So I've been postpardom. So now that I've been more involved with the baby and haven't worked anymore (i lost my swagger but haven't gained weight) I feel as though he may be flirting or doing something he shouldn't.

He has this woman he works with [that I've met at a gathering and do not trust] driving him to and from work. I know he flirts while i'm not around.

He has made a comment to his brother about moving to our city [while i was near but he thought i couldn't hear him] that "its hard to be in a relationship here,man;" as beautiful women are walking pass him.

Reading some of the other postings, I'm learning we see things different. But from your perspective on Aquarius' + the situation I've just described to you, do you think he could be cheating on me? Or am I over jealous?

I'm glad I came across this blog because I've been...

2008-06-30T15:14:00.000-04:00

I'm glad I came across this blog because I've been confused for quite some time about my relationship. I'm on the cusp of Gemini/Cancer with a Gemini rising. He is Feb 15 (not sure of his rising). However, we just had a child and i'm the stay at home mom now [i used to manage a salon] and he's paying the bills.

He gets off work and goes straight to his friend's house to chill out for a couple of hours then eventually makes it home. On Friday nights he goes out and Saturday nights I go out. I feel as though he doesn't want me to go out but he knows its only fair.

He's a great father and boyfriend to me. But then there are times when he completely aloof.

One evening he made a comment to his brother [who wants to move to our city]about how there's so many women here that "it's hard to be in a relationship" as women are passing by. We were outside. And I was pissed. He realized I heard him and didn't care to elaborate. Later than night, I confronted him and he says, "What do you want me to say, I'm man!" I was so hurt. He showed no sympathy.

My life path number is 3 so I'm a communicator. He is a 5. I do not understand how he doesn't want to communicate his feelings. But after reading this blog, its kinda making sense now. But it's still no excuse.

I can give him distance but I don't want to start loosing interest in him.

I use to be outgoing and getting away as much as he does. But now I'm with my 2 month old now. We've talked about marriage and know it will happen in the future but have not pressured the idea.

I think to myself though, "maybe he's scared?"

Being with an aquarius man is like a roller coaster. It feels like you have to be distant to get some closeness. The whole "playing the game" must have came from someone who was in a relationship with an aquarius.

He is sensitive but doesn't know it or claim it. He is a little jealous but doesn't claim that either.

>You don't want to leave him so you have a lover f...

2008-04-15T13:45:00.000-04:00

>You don't want to leave him so you have a lover for what you're not getting. desperate housewife/pool boy type of scenario

Given how hard it is for us to fall in love, I think aquas would make great guys-on-the-side. Keeps our time commitment low and our women satisfied at least once a week. Just don't tell us what else you're up to unless we ASK. ;)

Also, how does one become a pool boy?

>My best friend is the other kind, >introverted an...

2008-04-15T13:32:00.000-04:00

>My best friend is the other kind, >introverted and pragmatic. He's a >bit of a loner and doesn't deal >with many women.

Well it doesn't mean he's any different. The Aqua I'm seeing is rather introverted but he has the same traits.

>But I think it's important to be >able to read your partner and not >base your feelings on >assumptions.

yes it is. Woman are learning. Maybe just seeing one guy is an outdated idea.

>It is also often confused with >love by some.

Yes maybe thats how they were raised but they will learn.

>My issue is with women who think >just because you fool around with >them they somehow own you. If >both are honest and having fun, >what's the crime

There is no crime really. Sometimes people assume that they're in a relationship because they have sex because they are old fashioned. They don't like to spread themselves around. And if they find that some guy is doing that maybe they don't want to participate unless it is to supplement what they are not getting from the main guy that they like. Which in that case it makes sense. You don't want to leave him so you have a lover for what you're not getting.

desperate housewife/pool boy type of scenario

>t is not a privilege to be wiht a >man anmyore th...

2008-04-15T13:20:00.000-04:00

>t is not a privilege to be wiht a >man anmyore than it's a privilege >I'm granting--(though in a sense >it's all a privilege we share >wiht one another).)

I agree with that some men just want sex period they want something for nothing witout spending time and giving you the attention and affection that you need. If you like the sex with the person then it makes sense to have sex but not all people can be likelabe. Also I think it is a woman's perogative anyway.
Aquarians are not the typical people. They want what they want but they aren't so much into giving you what they want ie selfish.
I enjoy the moment and don't give more than I get. I already know not to get attached I think he's the one who is attached more than me now. I used to be attached but not so much. I pretend to be dumb about it because he isn't a particularly fair person. So why should I help him or understand? That is also my perogative. I also haven't forgotten how he tries to throw me off with his 'I'm rich powerful detached' thing that he does but I am strong. Wealth is not substitute for lack of personal devlopment and intuition but it is nice to go out with someone who will take you to nice places and shows you something different.
If he wants to end it that's ok if he wants to continue that's ok
I think with an Aquarius you truely have to not care about what happens next or change any plans that you have. LIfe goes on as usual you live in moment and the companionship that you have is nice. Aquarius will get you into the hobbies that he likes which is like a learning experience you pick up something new. I like that being a Sagittarius.
But there won't be any confessions from me about my 'fondness' or how I think he's so great because he's self absorbed. Self absorbed people don't deserve compliments.
I followed his lead he doesn't speak I don't speak he doesn't give compliments I don't give complements. He's detached and never calls I don't either. Copy him. After all we learn the best from men and we risk nothing. Don't have to put yourself out there. I have already learnt so much about detachment and indifference and I think those are reserved for differene kinds of people.
My mom was an Aquarius and I remember why I got away from her and won't go back. Covertly abusive and manipulative, insecure, secretly jealous and envious of others paranoid and crazy and cold too. I thought I had escaped but there are all kinds of people just waiting around the corner.
However I don't want to throw out the bathwater with this guy but in the future I will probably try to find a cancer.
I was feeling sorry for him because his so called friend was making fun of him but now I see why. It is the same thing that I used to wonder about my mother. Does she have no friends? When she got off the phone even w/ her sister she would say unflattering things about her. Well...now I see what you really think. I wonder what you say about me when I'm not around.

I think with an Aquariuan you can like them but yo...

2008-04-15T12:55:00.000-04:00

I think with an Aquariuan you can like them but you can't be too attached to them. They are not other bf's you've ever had they don't call etc. So out of sight out of mind. AT first I was angry because based on the fact that I was already in a place where I didn't think guys were that great and I was fine with that. Then he brings me out of that and makes me care only to be distant etc. But I have come to terms with being ok with it.
I have an Aquariuan that I was fond of. I liked the 'nice guy routine'. He takes me out we went on vacation it was the best ever. He is shy and sweet and the sex is like therapy it is all very nurturing and pleasant. But I just have to separate any feelings of depth from the pleasantness. This is easier than I thought. Even if my plan was to be single I don't necessarily need to see someone else or end it. Unless a need isn't being met which I can always get from another guy. After all Aquarius hasn't established that we are to be exclusive and clearly doesn't want to get married and I have expressed that I don't want to have children. I want a quality relationship and to be liked for myself. And I've never been as adamat as I have with this Aquarius Bluebeard because I suspected that I will fall through the cracks. I don't want to live in the gilded cage thank you expecially with an emotionally distant and potentially covertly abusive man.
So I like having him in my life but if he doesn't like that he can always end it I can give him that choice.
But life is like that you have a little bit of this and that that enhances the overall quality. The time we spend is wonderful so leave it at that. I don't think about him if he's not around. And I have a life. I never imagined that I could be this type of really independent person but I've surprised myself. I have always been the doting girlfriend just not in Bluebeards case. Too much attachment to Aquarius is futile I think your survival instinct kicks in and is warning you.
I know that because no matter what the excuse I've had boyfriends who called me several times a day and who told me they loved me and how wonderful I am. With Bluebeard there is mostly silence. Affection cannot grow unless the other person nurtures it. Love etc isn't one and done it is a living breathing thing.
This way I can appreciate the good parts because unless it is already over I will probably see him once or twice a month. Who knows what strategy he will use next. And the funny thing is he's always saying things like 'Women and their drama'. That's interesting because he's the only one with the drama.
Women must be smarter than I thought because alot of them who are as poor as church mice like me still turn him down. Maybe they sense his snobbery and he thinks he's better than them. Now I like his eccentricity and those men are hard to find but till then I will tell myself that his beard isn't so blue but I won't give him a chance to put my head on a chopping block.

Despite my Aqua Moon, my feelings towards a sex pa...

2008-03-29T17:42:00.000-04:00

Despite my Aqua Moon, my feelings towards a sex partner have always "reached a certain depth." However, I have no problem with someone having multiple partners as long as they are radically honest and practice safe sex.

I think Rob can speak for himself and only himself. But that's cool. Thank you Rob for sharing your experience as one Aquarius male. Let's refrain from bashing all Aquarians.

I'm no Pisces, but I concur with Allegra and Jeffr...

2008-03-29T02:38:00.000-04:00

I'm no Pisces, but I concur with Allegra and Jeffrey on this one. It's not Aquarius bashing-- it's cold hearted sex bashing.

If you are a woman capable of that, enjoy it for what it's worth. I am not.

Not that I haven't tried, because you never know until you've walked a mile in another man (or woman's) shoes.

Then again I've got 17 years experience on you and my thinking has been completely revolutionized. It's a Uranus conjunct Pluto thing.

Oh, Tony, is it really interesting?? Is is so inte...

2008-03-29T01:18:00.000-04:00

Oh, Tony, is it really interesting?? Is is so interesting to believe that aquarius men feel trapped easily...or are you a robot under the guise of someone else, asserting your presence to distract from the post-er/ess you really are......?

hahahahaha.

a.

ps- stop all this aqua bashing!! ...as fellow aqua said "why can't I live my life..without all the things that people say?"

Interesting.

2008-03-29T00:31:00.000-04:00

Interesting.

Keep in mind what I said has little to do with lov...

2008-03-28T19:18:00.000-04:00

Keep in mind what I said has little to do with love and only to do with relationships where people can handle mutual inclusiveness and no I don't speak for all aquarians - just the type A outgoing ones. My best friend is the other kind, introverted and pragmatic. He's a bit of a loner and doesn't deal with many women.

I don't believe at all in telling a girl she's the only one if she isn't. But I think it's important to be able to read your partner and not base your feelings on assumptions.

All I'm trying to say is I don't think of having multiple partners as something deceptive or even wrong. Sex is fun and an underutilized source of endorphins. It is also often confused with love by some. Both of the girls I'm seeing are involved with other guys. That's their business and I'm fine with it. It's only when the feelings reach a certain depth - which is rare - that seeing other people should be an issue.

My issue is with women who think just because you fool around with them they somehow own you. If both are honest and having fun, what's the crime?

But then again, we aquarii feel caged up pretty easily. ;)

We Pisces concur with Allegra.

2008-03-28T16:56:00.000-04:00

We Pisces concur with Allegra.

Rob, you said:"Friends should have all the sex the...

2008-03-28T10:11:00.000-04:00

Rob, you said:

"Friends should have all the sex they like of each other until one or the other falls in love with someone. We Aquarians understand this, why can't you people?"

You can not speak for all Aquarians. I know many Aquarians and I can assure that this is not their stance on love and relationships.

If you want to speak for yourself, fine, but it's best to avoid making sweeping generalizations when trying to make a point.

Anonymous Sagitarian woman, I ahve another slightl...

2008-03-28T02:40:00.000-04:00

Anonymous Sagitarian woman, I ahve another slightly different slant.I think some men are afraid of their feelings, yes.
Some are.But--here';s the thing..we can't make them feel those things they don't want to.We can't force it, or even expect that one day he'll wake up and admit his love.It does happen occasioanlly, yes.
But usually what happens is, you'll have a who runs even faster and/or farther because he feels somethng and it's being brought to the surface.
ye,s he lkies you.But if he wanted it to get serious, he would allow it, somehow.
If he misses you when you avoid him, let him figure out his feelings, and come to you.If he does'nt--he won't, I'm sorry to say.His demon is too strong.

Proserpine speaking again.But, Rob, and the variou...

2008-03-28T02:35:00.000-04:00

Proserpine speaking again.
But, Rob, and the various anonymous women who have posted dehre, some Librans, some Aquarians, and I think one Sagitarius lady--
Victoria is also right!
I don't think of sex as a dirty priviledge I'll allow a man to have if he's worthy.
I don't feel that way, and I don't know if Victoria did mean *that*.
What she's saying is: if a man thinks he can use a woman by saying a couple of charming things and then getting plenty of sex wihtout treating her kindly, and lovingly , and coldly tells her not to get too clingy because he's "just him" and not into it, and not into committment, but expects and demands sex like it's *his* right--that's a problem for me.
It is not a privilege to be wiht a man anmyore than it's a privilege I'm granting--(though in a sense it's all a privilege we share wiht one another).)But that's another conversation.
So, Victoria is saying if he thinks that's how it should go, wham, bam, thank you Ma'am, then--fine, he pays for it.
How many men truly say out front with all *kindness* and respect that they're seeing other women and dont want to get involved--very few really do tell the truth. *that's* not fair, Rob.
That is not free love either!

Rob,this is Proserpine. I don't know who is "you p...

2008-03-28T02:18:00.000-04:00

Rob,this is Proserpine. I don't know who is "you people"
I agree.
And I'm not an Aquarius.
I think the whole f*** buddy thing has gotten out of control too.
And in my opinion, which may not be yours, of course, I don't think there is uch a thing.If you really tlak to the people involved one or both are kidding themselves.
Now,I don't think people who are having sex are all meant to be serious lovers.Not at all.
But they're not just friends.
That's a misnomer.
A lot of people use that term and then use the term "dating" when they're serious.
'Dating' is supposed to be just that.Having fun, dating, *seeing* , or going out with, one person or another.
Not going steady or becoming engaged.
I agree with free love 100%.
But, as you say, when one falls in love and is in a committed relationship, then to me,there's no more affairs.Won't work inm, and experience.

This whole F*** buddy thing is out of control. Peo...

2008-03-27T19:16:00.000-04:00

This whole F*** buddy thing is out of control. People just don't get the notion of free love anymore.

As an Aquarius man I'm outraged that so many women think sex is this dirty privilege they give men if they're worthy.

Friends should have all the sex they like of each other until one or the other falls in love with someone. We Aquarians understand this, why can't you people?