Dear Dave

I wouldn't mind if Sproglette developed a fear of ...

2009-06-12T09:54:43.092+01:00

I wouldn't mind if Sproglette developed a fear of jumping around while balanced precariously on a heap of cushions piled on a couple of beanbags stacked on top the sofa.

But no.

She has a fear of gnats which causes her to jump around every time a tiny fly enters the room... even if she's balanced precariously on a heap of cushions piled on a couple of beanbags

I'm with you on the spiders. In fact, I'm pretty ...

2009-06-11T03:18:08.701+01:00

I'm with you on the spiders. In fact, I'm pretty sure I am more scared of spiders than anyone else in the whole wide world.

Because of my fear, I have learned not to get too annoyed at the things the Monkey gets scared from. Hopefully he outgrows his fears though.

He might enjoy that rather too much... The boys a...

2009-06-05T09:32:16.040+01:00

He might enjoy that rather too much...

The boys already do a bit of hoovering and a touch of light dusting in return for their pocket money. I'm really looking to have them able to clean the entire house in a year or two and then start hiring them out to the neighbours a couple of years after that. ;-)

The Chipmunk has a daily chore - feed the dog. Ev...

2009-06-03T14:49:58.586+01:00

The Chipmunk has a daily chore - feed the dog. Every time he does it, he gets a dime (kinda like a 10p piece). When he really misbehaves, we take a dime away. By the end of the week we're about even and are reusing the same dimes each week.

Maybe you could start with something easy like alphabetizing the video games?

You're right. (But having to sleep under a pool t...

2009-05-29T15:37:16.385+01:00

You're right.

(But having to sleep under a pool table once he's 18 will hopefully encourage him to move out... ;-) )

What on earth makes you think that 18 is when you ...

2009-05-29T14:37:58.544+01:00

What on earth makes you think that 18 is when you get rid of them? You still have university, exam resits, post docs, moving house, unappropriate girlfriends, career changes at 25.

You can usually get them out of their bedrooms by second year uni tho...

Rod

Dream on..

Like I'm actually going to leave the house if I do...

2009-05-28T20:56:37.671+01:00

Like I'm actually going to leave the house if I don't have to...

Still, it's always worth having a truly horrific family outing in mind to threaten the kids with if they don't behave. ;-)

Sounds like your new activities are going to leave...

2009-05-27T03:07:11.618+01:00

Sounds like your new activities are going to leave you exhausted, I'd stick with playing board games if I were you.

Larry at Form Films is looking for some help with ...

2009-05-21T09:28:59.969+01:00

Larry at Form Films is looking for some help with a TV project:

VASECTOMY: DOES YOUR WIFE WANT YOU TO HAVE A VASECTOMY, BUT YOU’RE UNSURE? WE ARE MAKING A DOCUMENTARY FOR CHANNEL 4 ABOUT THE OPERATION THAT MEN FEAR THE MOST AND WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU. PLEASE CONTACT LARRY@FORMFILMS.CO.UK.

I'm not sure housedads will necessarily feel this way. ('What? Yeah, OK. Snip

She may be awkward but she's extra cute to make up...

2009-05-13T20:07:00.000+01:00

She may be awkward but she's extra cute to make up for it.

I still struggle with her hair, though.

I'm so glad I will never have a girl.

2009-05-13T02:25:00.000+01:00

I'm so glad I will never have a girl.

Undoubtedly... ...but is that cheese-makers speci...

2009-04-17T09:36:00.000+01:00

Undoubtedly...

...but is that cheese-makers specifically, or can the principle be extended to all workers involved in handling dairy products?

;-)

... blessed are the cheese-makers? ;-)

2009-04-15T16:57:00.000+01:00

... blessed are the cheese-makers?

;-)

My family are so aware that I have a phobia of spi...

2009-04-09T20:12:00.000+01:00

My family are so aware that I have a phobia of spiders, they start pointing and shrieking the moment they see one within ten feet of me.

Unsurprisingly, this makes me jump out of my skin.

They leap around, I leap around, they leap around some more and then they're so freaked out by all the screaming that they have to go and lie down. I'm the one left to catch the creature in a

You're braver than I am, I could never even contem...

2009-04-07T22:55:00.000+01:00

You're braver than I am, I could never even contemplate going down there - let alone stay down there after seeing the spider the first time. You are my hero!

Yep, when Bump is older and wants to know how he o...

2009-03-10T22:16:00.000Z

Yep, when Bump is older and wants to know how he or she was made, blame it all on the evil pixies under the sofa.

That should go down well...

You should get a dog. They just eat it.

2009-03-09T19:56:00.000Z

You should get a dog. They just eat it.

So that's what happened to the contraception. I kn...

2009-03-07T03:22:00.000Z

So that's what happened to the contraception. I knew it wasn't my fault I got knocked up.

Thanks, Swiggy. I used to have too much time on my...

2009-03-06T10:45:00.000Z

Thanks, Swiggy. I used to have too much time on my hands, now I have children...

Jen - It's always safer to appease the evil pixies that live under the sofa, and let them keep the socks and jigsaw pieces. If you take those things away, they might start snatching really important stuff - like your car keys, phone or contraception. ;-)

Perhaps next time you can help me on my never endi...

2009-03-04T21:47:00.000Z

Perhaps next time you can help me on my never ending quests for our mismatched socks and the missing last puzzle piece.

It can't be any harder than finding bedtime.

Hee Hee!I think you might just have too much time ...

2009-03-04T19:28:00.000Z

Hee Hee!

I think you might just have too much time on your hands, but thanks for the entertainment.

Do you have any idea of the scale of a year's supp...

2009-02-21T10:37:00.000Z

Do you have any idea of the scale of a year's supply of wipes for three children, Mockingbird? That's a lot of wipes.

As for Gatorade... Eugh! It's one way to get rid of nuclear waste, I suppose.

Thank goodness I'm thousands of miles away. I alwa...

2009-02-21T04:20:00.000Z

Thank goodness I'm thousands of miles away.

I always make the mistake of giving the girls gatorade when they're sick. Gatorade comes in some crazy neon colors. It's also remarkably resiliant.We still have blue neon carpet in the hall from years ago.

So if you come to visit me, I should stock up on s...

2009-02-20T20:46:00.000Z

So if you come to visit me, I should stock up on sick bags, buckets, mops, a sink plunger and a year's supply of wipes. And hide any pink yoghurt!

You'll have to hook the Wii up to a treadmill and ...

2009-02-13T09:57:00.000Z

You'll have to hook the Wii up to a treadmill and get the kids to power the house.

That's what I do...