MY ITCHY THIRD EYE

Help Save Sarah's Knees

2009-07-17T00:01:00.000-07:00

Upon seeing the photo of Sarah Palin in Runners World in a yoga Tree pose, concerned yogis raised alarms of the possible damage to her knees due to the improper understanding and execution of this most venerable of yoga asanas. These yogis know that one should never place their foot on the knee when in the pose (as Sarah is shown doing), but rather above or below it.

As this group of yogis don't know the extent of Sarah Palin’s yoga experience nor if there is a possibility that she may be jeopardizing other part of her body due to misalignment or ignorance of other poses, an organization was formed to help Sarah from causing further damage in the name of yogic bliss. With her reputation as a maverick, this group feels that only Rodney "I did it my way" Yee (Yoga Star) will be able to get through to her so the group is requesting that you donate all your old or used Rodney Yee yoga DVDs to Ms. Palin.

Below is the group’s statement on the issue of Sarah Plain’s knees.

Help Save Sarah’s Knees PAC

Dedicated to saving Sarah Palin’s knees from the sloppy execution of Tree Pose.

SarahKneePAC believes that Sarah’s knees are in serious jeopardy.

SarahKneePAC believes that Sarah Palin’s knee bone is connected her head bone.

SarahKneePAC believes that by keeping Sarah’s knees safe, she will spend her time running around Alaska instead of running for President.

Please help save Sarah’s knees by donating your used Rodney Yee yoga DVDs (or those of other yoga stars if you don’t have any Rodney Yee DVDs) to:

Ex-Governor Sarah Palin
Right Across the Street from Russia
North of Canada, Alaska

Bikram Choudhury – “Don’t fuck with the knees”

Sponsored by Concerned Yogis to Save Sarah’s Knees PAC

YogaDawg's Lawn Chair Yoga - Partner Poses

2009-07-16T00:02:00.000-07:00

YogaDawg's Lawn Chair AcroYoga - Get off that chair and let it go to the next level.

YogaDawg's Lawn Chair Yoga - Closing Poses

2009-07-15T05:16:00.000-07:00

>YogaDawg's Lawn Chair Yoga - Get off that lawn chair so it can practice some yoga!

Wheel Pose

Staff Pose

Full Lotus

Corpse Pose

YogaDawg's Lawn Chair Yoga - Core Poses

2009-07-14T03:20:00.000-07:00

YogaDawg's Lawn Chair Yoga - Get off your chair and let it do yoga!

Boat Pose

Plow Pose

Shoulder Stand

Supported Headstand

Fish Pose

YogaDawg's Lawn Chair Yoga - Opening Poses

2009-07-13T13:01:00.000-07:00

YogaDawg's Lawn Chair Yoga - Get off your chair and let it do yoga!

"Mountain Pose"

"Plank Pose"

"Upward Facing Dog"

"Downward Facing Dog"

YogaDawg's Yoga Fun Sundays - The Baron Letters

2009-07-12T01:02:00.000-07:00

I stumbled on these letters to Baron Baptiste while researching quotes from this famous yoga star. These are funny and insightful and proves that not everyone will drink the yoga star's kool-aid. Thanks to the Must be Motherhood blogger who goes by the name of Eve for letting me repost the letters in full text.

OCTOBER 16, 2007

Dear Mr. Baron Baptiste,

Thank you for your recent email invitation to your Personal Revolution All-Day Immersion in New York City on November 10. How did you know that I am in dire need of a Life, Body & Soul Transformation? It’s like you have superpowers. Of course you do. Who could deny it when you look so delicious sitting on a pier near your home in Hawaii (and thanks also for including this yummy photo in your invitation)?

Back in another lifetime, oh, say, a good five years ago, I practiced at least once a week at your hot yoga studio in Boston’s Back Bay, convienently located across the street from my office building. My good friend and I would dash over post-work, skipping cocktails (those were the days, weren’t they?) and submit our bodies to your 100 degree room and boot-camp instructors and bend ourselves to the physical and mental limit for NINETY minutes. When we were finished, we were drenched with sweat and dizzy and high from deydration. For days afterwards, we’d walk around like ninety-year olds. And then, we’d come back for more.
Ah, we drank your Kool-aid all right.

I still use your hour long audio class CD to practice according to your methods at home. But these days I usually poop out at the forty-five minute mark. There was also a brief period when I attempted your 40 Days to Personal Revolution guide because boy, did I need a revolution at the time. I, the woman who has been moaning for nearly a year and half about not getting enough sleep, set my alarm quite early to practice yoga for incrementally longer periods of time SIX DAYS A WEEK. But I lost you when you wanted me to go for longer than an hour first thing in the morning. I didn’t have it in me. And I’ve been disappointed in myself ever since, thankyouverymuch, because the revolution was short-lived. Oy.

Baron, if you offered your class in Boston and I still lived in Boston, I would consider your offer to enjoy INCREASED STRENGTH, VITALITY, A RENEWED MENTAL EDGE, OR A DEEPER SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE, via the Personal Revolution All-Day Immersion because, as you say, it “can take you there.” Although it has been five years since I practiced your brand of athletic, sweaty yoga with a good dose of new-agey-humor (aka “now twist! point your nipples like laserlights up towards saturn”), I yearn to become your apprentice archeologist and “excavate” my “ideal practice” alongside you. Freeing my true self and transforming my life through yoga with a constant emphasis on gentleness and acceptance sounds like the right ticket right about now. I’m hanging by a thread here, Baron. We’re always trying to get Pitter to “be gentle! gentle!” so this philosophy resounds deeply with me.

But alas, I am not independently wealthy and cannot join you for the ALMOST SOLD OUT upcoming Saturday in November in New York. Perhaps I will support your cause with the purchase of this book you wrote for your son:

But then again, such a gift could have catastrophic consequences as Pitter’s daddy, who cannot even touch his toes, would never be mistaken for a pretzal, and Pitter might conclude that you, Baron Baptiste are his real father. And we can’t have that. Unless…it would mean you would adopt us so we could live in Hawaii with you and also sit on a lovely pier, serene and ridiculously flexible.

Namaste and xox
Me

P.s.: Keep the email invitations coming. Along with the other Boston/East-Coast mailing lists I’m on, they’re really helping me adjust to the midwest. I mean, I’m just exhausted considering all the great road races, concerts, yoga retreats and special-invitation movies I could be going to if we still lived in Boston!

DECEMBER 20, 2007

Dearest Baron Baptiste,

Hi, love.

I suspect our messages crossed in the mail, and that you didn’t read my last note before sending me your latest invitation. Because if you did, my benevolent bandanna bearing boy, you would know that my ability to just pick up and join you in a week of sweaty yoga sessions and deep thoughts has been severely compromised by motherhood.

Nevertheless, you send me an invitation to this:

Baron Baptiste’s Teacher’s Bootcamp is an exclusive hands-on opportunity for those who understand that a yoga teacher’s deepest responsibility – and ultimate reward – is the ability to transform the lives of individuals seeking physical and spiritual growth – leading them to a healthier state of existence.

Kindly, you suggest that ”This is a process of total immersion and transformation for those who want to teach and even for those who don’t.” Even for those who don’t. So, inclusive, while at the same time, being exclusive. As usual, you’ve got me all turned around and fluttery, Baron.

Honestly, you had me at exceptional standards and personal attention. Would you actually be there to assist me into a more precise crow or dancer’s bow? And, like, touch me? Squeee!

And then, you threw in Hawaii. The BIG ISLAND. How did you know that the only reason I agreed to have Pitter was so that we could guide him towards becoming a high-powered attorney/speciality surgeon/corporate bitch so that he can buy me and Sweet Cheeks a retirement home in Hawaii? That’s how much I love Hawaii, Baron.

Look at these beautiful people, mats jammed so close together, sweating together, truly, “Lives Touched in a Moment – and Transformed Forever.” Who can resist this siren call to grow more than I could ever imagine? Have you been keeping up with my blog and recent foray into therapy? I want to be more than I can imagine. It sounds marvelous.

But.

But.

Then there’s this stuff about those who attend this training bootcamp demanding (demanding!) more of yourselves and each other than anyone could reasonably expect. Let’s pause on this sentence, shall we?: More than anyone could reasonably expect. Combine this idea with your insistence, nay, expectation, that I show up at my best, every minute of every day, and we have a problem.

Every minute, Baron? Every single minute, even while asleep? I’ve gotta be honest. I’m a scatterbrain since becoming a mother. I can’t focus for 1440 minutes for every day I’m in Hawaii. I haven’t slept a full night in almost two years. I’m suffering from mild depression. It’s more than anyone could reasonably expect, pretzel man.

And so, yet again, I must decline your exceptional offer. May your backbends be bendy and your hands stay soft. Even when you’re practicing on rough, callousy volcano detritus.

Don’t forget about me. Somehow, someday, when the time is right, we’ll find the time to come together.

Kisses.

Me.

FEBRUARY 5, 2009

A Special Valentine Message for Mr. Baron Baptiste

Dear Baron,

Over the last month you have invited me to join you in Boston in March, London in April, and Montana in June for a bevvy of seminars with you and your cadre of yogi pretzels.

And you are so very excited about it. I mean, take a look at yourself.

Wave your hands in the air like you just don’t care!

But at this point in our relationship I feel like you’re just not listening to me. Let’s face it: we’re just not as close as we used to be and your bandanna’d enthusiasm cannot just magically make up for it. Also? Three getaway invitations would strike any girl as a little desperate. Just sayin’.

It’s not that I’ve lost all interest in synertistically working to dissolve my energy blocks with you. I would never suggest that I am a woman without held emotions or limited perceptions. And after recently birthing a second child, I am a reasonable candidate to face these myriad of problems with bio-mechanical precision, strength and an open heart.

I wear my shoulders up by my ears and I cry regularly when watching stories about local dogs fall into frozen ponds on the news. I am by all accounts a mess.

And yet, all of your invitations promise scenes that go something like this:

I think I’m over it.

Don’t get me wrong: The idea of spending a brisk Blue Sky mornings with you this summer trying to become a Sannyasin spiritual warrior, a seeker of truth, an individual on a mission of positive change is not altogether unappealing. Surely it’s a step up from a Sesame Street warrior, a seeker of Elmo, an individual on a mission to record all of the recent Curious George episodes on PBS.

But do we have to do it in a 100 degree hothouse sticking ass to ass?

Here’s where this gets difficult for me.

Have you met Shiva Rea? She’s pretty bendy too.

I’ve been cheating on you with her.

Instead of practicing in quarters that put the crazy in close, she rides the wave of fluid power in grand, open white sandy places like this:

Be honest, Baron. What’s not to like?

Sometimes it’s like she’s convinced the cast of Lost to get hopped up on LSD to undulate about like a bunch of blissed-out patchouli-smelling Rainbow tribe people. And sometimes she gives them fire to play with. How awesome is this? This is transformational entertainment.

Look how flowly and connected to our inner water she is while she practices on that shimmery expanse of sand. Sometimes she doesn’t even confine herself to a mat.

Just imagine! Not only is she not breathing in some rank foot odor from the guy next to her who’s made the unfortunate choice to don purple spandex pants, she’s practically breathing in the mystical air of the sands of time as they sweep from the Pacific over the dunes, directly to her soul. Into her soul, Baron. Fresh air is kind of nice, isn’t it?

And, not only does she not discuss raising our nipples to mars, but she twists and twirls about in what I must admit is a very enviable yogic trance with her patented circulating wave motion.

I think it’s kind of sexy. It’s a bit like Carmen Electra’s Striptease video minus the skank.

Oh, but it’s not all about the sex. Shiva Rea is also very scientific! Did you know her undulating wave powers come from atomic and cellular levels?

Finally, do you realize that on this DVD, which includes a special Yoga Matrix, I can create my own vinyasas with over three hours of material? Well I can. And that’s true flexibility, Baron.

I know, I know. It’s mean to expect you to compete with this. So I’m not going to. I’m going to set you free.

The methods of Baptiste Power Vinyasa Yoga have served me well for years, but while I’ve used your patented combination of intuition, authenticity, creativity, technical knowledge in serach of total transformation, things have gotten stale, and frankly, a bit smelly.

I’ve got to turn elsewhere. Please know that I will always love you, but I’ve got a new yogi mistress.

Until we meet on the other side, Namaste.

YogaDawg's Jazz Saturdays - Nicholas Payton

2009-07-11T04:44:00.000-07:00

Nicholas Payton - Duke Ellington Jazz Festival - DC - 2009

Nicholas Payton - vocals, trumpet, synthesizer
Daniel Sadownick - percussion
Kevin Hays - piano, electric piano, Fender Rhodes piano, keyboards
Vincente Archer - acoustic bass
Marcus Gilmore - drums

Sarah Palin To Enter Yoga Ashram

2009-07-09T03:17:00.001-07:00

Mary Washington
For EternallyBlissfulYoga Magazine

In an exclusive interview with EternallyBlissfulYoga magazine, Sarah Palin ended the speculation over why she quit her governors’ job by explaining that she plans to move to India to join a yoga ashram. Palin explained her motives by saying, “When the piece in Runners World came out, I was expecting them just to show something normal of me, like running around Alaska. Little did I know they would leak the picture of me doing yoga. I told that gossip rag, not to mention the yoga thing because you know, the people in Alaska don’t go for that kind of thing. I didn’t realize that they tricked me in doing the pose and then put it in the story. I’m going to sue those darn people.”

The comment regarding suing “those darn people” apparently stems from a tweet she sent on July 4th threatening to sue organizations of the mainstream media for malicious gossip mongering regarding a scandal that is said to be brewing when she was mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Though most commentators thought that this was an example of “drunk tweeting” by Palin; Palin denies this. “Let me say right now I did not send that when I was drunk. Do they really think that I’m that stupid?” Palin did not want to talk about the letters her lawyers sent threatening to sue the organizations but she did seem particularly livid about a blog posting that implied that she was no longer in the state of Alaska but rather on the planet Zoid. “That BS about me being on the planet Zoid really got to me. That a blogger can get away with spreading such lies and equating me somehow with a weird blogger, Lip-Gloss Yoga, just gets my goat."

EternallyBlissfulYoga magazine asked Palin how she became interested in yoga and she replied that she is a regular reader of the yoga website, My Third Eye Itches. “Todd somehow stumbled on it and showed it to me because he wanted to warn me about the weirdoes out there that I would have to placate if I became president. Well, it wasn’t long after I started reading things on that site that I became interested in yoga and started to secretly practice in a closet off the kitchen.”, she explained “Man, it was hot in there”, she added. Adding that “one thing led to another”, she mentioned to this shocked reporter that in fact she is preparing to become a yoga teacher. When asked what studio she was going to be trained in, she replied, “Well, considering that there are no yoga studios in Alaska (research by this magazine in fact uncovered that there were actually two studios in Alaska, “Really Really Cold Yoga” in Anchorage and “Mooseasana Yoga” in Juneau), I decided to go live and train in an ashram in India. Nobody knows it, but I can also see India from my bedroom window and I’d wondered what all those little people in loin cloths were doing. Well, it was yoga and I decided I would train with them since it was so much closer then going to Seattle, or God forbid, Los Angeles.”

When asked if Todd and the kids would be going with her she said, “I don’t know, but if you think I'm going to stay here and work those gosh darn fishing boats again, you are sadly mistaken. It’s bad enough the Democrats make fun of me but I’ll be darned if I'll let those halibut smelling gut scrappers make fun of me when they find out that I’m a yogi.”

Though she didn’t mention when she was going to make the move to India, she did allude to the idea that she had some business to take care in Vancouver, Canada. A source close to Palin said that in fact, she was going to the Lululemon store there to get some really cool yoga togs. “She somehow heard that those clothes promised to make her butt look great in down dog”, the source concluded.

Sarah Palin out of the yoga closet

The new Sarah Palin limited edition yoga outfit from Lululemon

Guest Blogger, Yoga Lip-Gloss - The Day After

2009-07-08T18:54:00.000-07:00

Editors Note: Ummmm...please excuse our mess. It appears that the famous Yogini, Lip-gloss Yoga, has disappeared before our very eyes as she has entered into the transcendental void. There have been unconfirmed reports from yogis shopping at the GreatTranscendentalYoga SuperStore of seeing an apparition of her riding naked on a white horse through the aisles. Unfortunately, we are left to care for her seven cats (the Lip-Gloss 7) and need to put them up for adoption.

Guest Blogger, Yoga Lip-Gloss - Day 11

2009-07-06T04:02:00.000-07:00

ahhhh, zzzezze, blaba balaba bislga...bilsabub..I'm barinbujm bill the sailor...glub..OMG..WTF..wowie-zowie..simga-29 ..7-11...zeep...yooooogaaaaa....me and my cat are melting into the great transcendental void...farma..yicky-samba...inot scantanba...dobbie boobie doo...zing..bing...bbbbllllinggg, ring-a-ring ding ding.....

Guest Blogger, Yoga Lip-Gloss - Day 10

2009-07-06T03:58:00.000-07:00

Okay everyone...I'm writing you from the planet Zoid today...I don't know how I ended up here but it is really something...everything look kind of like strawberry taffy. yum! I'm like licking everything here...this pink planet is so cute girls..I'll have to post some pics...it's hard to capture with my brains strewn everywhere. OH my God, there's Sarah Palin licking a pink tree....

YogaDawg's Yoga Fun Sundays - Ana Brett

2009-07-05T06:28:00.000-07:00

Ana Brett - Kundalini Yogini Master and Yoga Star

I know this is not suppose to be funny (I think) but this cracks me up. I just can't keep my eyes off her............boots.........

YogaDawg's Jazz Saturdays - Terence Blanchard

2009-07-04T01:00:00.000-07:00

Terence Blanchard - Duke Ellington Jazz Festival - DC - 2009

Personnel: Terence Blanchard, trumpet; Diana Krall, Jane Monheit, Dianne Reeves, Cassandra Wilson, vocals; Brice Winston, tenor sax; Edward Simon, piano; Derek Nievergelt, bass; Eric Harland, drums

Guest Blogger, Yoga Lip-Gloss - Day 9

2009-07-03T05:09:00.000-07:00

I don't know what is happening to me...like I think I want to be a wandering naked Sadhu...I'm not even sure what that is...it's like I'm so in the present moment. So who needs Yoga..hee hee, only kidding. Sometimes my mind is constantly planning what to do next. So girls, I made a decision today...I'm going to live in the GreatTranscendentalYoga Superstore. This way I won't have to live in anticipation of what I will buy next. Don't you think I'm smart? Oh damn, I'm disappearing again.....Like OMG!!!! I'm becoming one with my cats..............

Guest Blogger, Yoga Lip-Gloss - Day 8

2009-07-02T14:45:00.000-07:00

Yummie, this Yoga Juice is really goooooodddd...The picutes in this Kama Sutra book are getting me hhhhooooootttttt...I didn't know people could do that.....I need to take my clothes off...I'm getting rrreeeaalllyyy hhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooootttttttt...where's my viiibbbbraaaaaaaaaatoor..oohhhh...hic... .xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooooooooooooooooooooooo ..ooohhhh- yyyyeeeaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

Guest Blogger, Yoga Lip-Gloss - Day 7

2009-07-01T03:41:00.000-07:00

...Ahh...like this is so weird... my cats are levitating...and disappearing through a hole in the ceiling....I'm not sure what this book is about that the hippy next door left off, but I like licking the pages.....the colors, the colors...I'm melting into a waxy pool...........Holy Crap, my cats are back and they are glowing like the bejeezzees.....

Guest Blogger, Yoga Lip-Gloss - Day 6

2009-06-30T03:53:00.000-07:00

Like wow, those mushrooms the hippie next door gave me were so yummy. This is so strange..the wall are starting to melt...i think I'll wash my hair..now where the hell did I put my head...I think I'll light a lovely scented candle...damn, now I forgot where I put my hands...I really have to read another page of "My Third Eye Itches" (I'm up to page 9 and am tearing though this most profound and enlightening book)... am listening to Das somebody (did you notice that all Yoga CDs are by someone with Das in their name. I wonder if they are all make by the same person, hee hee hee)...I think I'll do a high colonic....Oh damn, now where did I put my ass?????

Guest Blogger, Yoga Lip-Gloss - Day 5

2009-06-29T04:06:00.000-07:00

I'm like 28 today. Like, OMG!! It's amazing how quickly the time passes. I know it sounds so cliché, but it truly does feel like just yesterday that I started yoga and ....damn this tea is good...I wonder how it would taste if I added some of that herb the hippie next door gave me.... girlfriends from high school and spent the money my parents gave me to go to college, on yoga clothes....wheeee, I don't know what I'm writing about... Life is filled with so many lessons, experiences, joys, and triumphs...what the hell am I talking about..oh yeah, to celebrate my birthday, I got dressed up in my best pink yoga bottoms and my Eco Haven yoga top, my yoga hat, the one with the adorable sprigs of incense sticking out of the top and went to my yoga class. A girl's got to feel pretty, right? God, this tea is good..I have so many thoughts to share on this special day but I'd like to focus on a list of 28 things that I will do on the day after my birthday:

1. Paint my toenails pink

2. Do some yoga

3. Go to the GreatTranscendentalYoga Superstore

...umm, well I really can't think of anything else right now, but check back later when I put my thinking cap on...

P.S. There are these cute lines that are forming around my cats when I look at them. I didn't know cats could do that....

YogaDawg's Yoga Fun Sundays

2009-06-27T23:32:00.000-07:00

I receive a lot of yoga books from publishers for review and rarely do I give them more than a casual glance as the text simply seems to exist to fluff out the book between pictures of someone doing yoga asanas, so it was a complete pleasure to receive “Yoga, Karma, and Rebirth” by Stephen Philips. This is one of the rare books on yoga that has great depth in the telling of yoga history and philosophy. From the description of a yoga class to translations of the Upanishads, Gita, Yoga Sutra and the Hatha Yoga Pradipika, this is a serious study ideally suited for all levels of yoga students. Going beyond Hatha yoga, “Yoga, Karma, and Rebirth” explains aspects of Karma, Bhakti and Trantra yoga in interesting detail. Graced with ample notes for further study and a glossary of Sanskrit words, this book takes an honored place among the books that I read slowly and often. “Yoga, Karma, and Rebirth” is a great source of yoga knowledge. Highly recommended!

Available at Amazon and Columbia University Press

YogaDawg 's Jazz Saturdays - Michael Jackson

2009-06-27T03:56:00.000-07:00

Thank you Michael....

Guest Blogger, Yoga Lip-Gloss - Day 4

2009-06-26T02:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had a deliriously wonderful afternoon at the GreatTranscendentalYoga Superstore. They were showing all these cute yoga clothes from hot, new yoga designers. It was so fab. They let us shoppers nibbled on some kind of yoga food. It looked a little like dried cow dung, but it was kind of good even though it looked icky. I bought some to take home and used some of the herbs that the hippie next door gave me...I was like, feeling so good and started flying around like those crazy cats the other day...., than I spent the evening organizing my condo as I didn't know where I was going to put all the yoga stuff I bought today. But I just started and six hours later, I was able to cram the new stuff in places I didn't know existed. The rewards are HUGE because now I have these cool piles of yoga stuff towering over me. I am losing a lot of floor space though. Tah tah for now. Damn I wish I had some brownies...xoxo

Guest Blogger, Yoga Lip-Gloss - Day 3

2009-06-25T02:55:00.000-07:00

YogaDawg left me this cute book. It's called "My Third Eye Itches - A Yogic Guide". I skimmed through it as I don't have much time to read. I am so busy shopping for all these yummy yoga things that who has time to read. Anyway it turns out the guy next door IS a hippie..I still don't like hippies but that is so un-PC of me isn't it girls, oh well, hee hee hee, I am so bad...but I love the brownies he left at my door...anyway I was going to take a yoga class today but I'm feeling really spacey for some reason...anyway what was I talking about? I forget, but anyway I got to get that brownie recipie..I guess I should end this post by telling you that the yoga language has so many tre chic words like, yoga, mat, om, lip-gloss...only kidding about lip-gloss, wanted to see if you were still awake..I think I need a nap...by the way, I know this is strange, but my cats are looking at me a bit strange. Isn't that weird?

Guest Blogger, Yoga Lip-Gloss - Day 2

2009-06-24T04:56:00.000-07:00

Hello my new blog fans out there! I want to let you know that I bought a new pink, polka dot yoga mat today. It is sooooo swanky. I used to have a lavender yoga mat, but kept losing it in the yoga studio where I go for my yoga class because everything there is like lavender. I don't think anyone minded that I had a pink, polka dot yoga mat. But you never know because some of those girls there can be real bitches at the studio. They call it the Lavender Palace...isn't that so cute! Yum, by the way the brownies from the hippie next door are really good...There is an old saying, "when one door closes, another one opens". I'm not sure what that means exactly but will say that if the yoga bitches give me a hard time then they are just real poops and who cares about them anyway...wow, I'm feeling really good...something about these brownies... So anyway girls, do something daring and get your self a pink, polka dot yoga mat like mine. You know I got it at the GreatTranscendentalYoga Superstore. It is so yogi...ahm, yoga, ahmm ..yogic...whatever.... there. They will let you try on different shades of their yoga lip-gloss or sample the yoga cosmetics. They have the cutest collection of bobble heads. I'm not sure who they were supposed to be, but they have the fabest loin cloths on. I think one was called Patanjali....damn, I'm really hungry all of a sudden....

PS This is one of my other kittie-cats!

Guest Blogger, Yoga Lip-Gloss - Day 1

2009-06-23T03:53:00.000-07:00

(Please welcome Guest Blogger, Yoga Lip-Gloss. She is a major force in the yoga blogging world and agreed to guest blog My Itchy Third Eye - YD)

Hi everyone, YogaDawg asked me to be his guest blogger. He said he needs to spend quality time with certain hot, young yogini stars (yeah, like that'll be the day...sorry YogaDawg, only kidding...lol) now that he's a big-time, hot-shot yoga blogger. Anyway I guess I should begin by telling you a little bit about myself. I love yoga and I also love my lip-gloss, my iPod and my fave yoga togs and cute yoga shoes and things. I like yoga clothes a lot, especially those from the GreatTranscendentalYoga Superstore. The men there are so cute even though I think a lot of them are gay...not that's there anything wrong with that...hee hee hee. Anyway, it doesn't matter to me. I just love my pink, leopard print yoga mat. It matches the pink, leopard print walls in my condo. I have 7 cats. I named them after the chakras even though I have trouble remembering which cat is which and can't pronounce the name of those chakras anyway. But that doesn't matter because they are so cute. I put a cute picture of one of my kitties below. I love myself and think I am exciting and funny. What I don't love is that stinky older guy across the condo from me. He keeps calling the condo association on me claiming my condo smells like cat pee. I think he is an old hippy...not that there is anything wrong with that...hee hee hee. I love pink nail polish. I love pink lip-gloss. Did I mention that already? I am funny and exciting. I love to shop at the GreatTranscendentalYoga Superstore. I think I mentioned that already. I hope you like this really rad first post by me... xoxo

Yoga Bloggers

2009-06-21T23:23:00.000-07:00

This YogaDawg blog was mentioned in the August 2009 issue of Yoga Journal. This would be a good time to bring back this classis satirical take of the world of yoga bloggers from the underground yoga guide, My Third Eye Itches.

In the Internet age, the yoga blog is the spiritual heart of yoga. It is where yogis can yammer about the poses they did in class, be loquacious with their spiritual insights, and dissect and chart their inner and outer progress. The yoga blogger writes about the value of yoga in their lives as well as any profound physical, psychological, and spiritual changes that they observe. More importantly, the yoga blog allows the yogi a place to write profound dissertations on the color of their mat, what they ate for breakfast, who was in their class on such and such day, and whether their yoga teacher is hot or not.

Though the yoga blogger may seem self-centered and self-absorbed in their yoga life, they nonetheless feels that this egotistical preoccupation of theirs will yield great insight and profound realizations to their blog readers. Unfortunately, the yoga blogger sometimes has trouble knowing when to stop writing. When this happens, the yoga blog tends to degrade into endless rambling about failed love affairs between fellow yoga students and teachers, mind-numbing questioning of whether the only guy in yoga class is in fact gay, the color of their bowel movements after eating an all vegetarian, free-range, pesticide free, ecotopian, all grain yoga diet for a week, and even detailed descriptions of their newest purchases from the GreatTranscendentalYoga SuperStore.

The great danger is when the blogger thinks that they are a great writer and entertains the idea of penning a yoga book. Their inspiration for this is the great yoga guide book, My Third Eye Itches: A Yoga Guide. They quickly figures out how to cut and paste all of their blog posts into a Word document, which they promptly sends off to the editor in chief of EternallyBlissfulYoga SuperMagazine.