The Creen Laboratory 2.0

top telly

2009-02-21T11:56:00.003Z

At last, 8 weeks into the year, terrestrial telly really takes off. The ritual of marking the Guardian Guide pays off with the following visual (and masterfully-written) treats:

Sunday BBC1 10.20pm: Damages (starring Zelda from Terrahawks, see above)

Monday BBC2 9pm: Heroes

Tuesday Five 9pm: CSI (the original, with soon-to-depart William Petersen)

Wednesday BBC2 12.50am: Mad Men (or Tuesday BBC4 10pm if you have Freeview)

Thursday ITV1 10.35pm: Dexter

sodapop means everything as long as it's good

2009-02-02T10:00:00.002Z

Sodapop74 writes:

"Hi,my channel is a tribute to sodapop.Sodapop is a D.J term that means everything.This channel is a tribute to pop music and pop and classic rock of the 50's-60's And 70's.If it's good.I'll post it.Sodapop means all and everything as long as it's good.I might go into Hello Dolly by Louis Armstrong,into a Cream or Kinks song or go into a funky disco song.If it's good I like it.There should be no restrictions.If you like John Denver,darn it,you like him and no one is going to stop you.I think John Denver is great.Subscribe and I'll get you those lost classics.I won't post a song unless I love it.Hang in there and I'll post something you'll love forever.Remember I go up and down and all-around.Music should be like that.There are no rules. Take Care."

try me free!

2009-02-01T08:13:00.005Z

After buying some Ryvita Berry Bars because they had a 'try me free!' sticker on, I got sucked into a badly-organised website in order to reclaim my cash. First I had to register - a big no-no! Then I had to choose from

1) a straight refund

2) a £5 cheque and 20 "free" photos

3) a £10 shopping voucher and a subscription to LoveFilm

I knew 2 and 3 were just scams, so went for 1, whereupon I had to register again, send a code, receive an email, type a new code and then give my address.

The thing that really caught my eye, though, was the disclaimer at the bottom of my confirmation email:

"Please note, that while we want to encourage you to collect points to enjoy the benefits of Coinks, we actively discourage "over-consumption". DO NOT purchase more product that you can reasonably use, just to take up a reward or to try and win a competition. Over consumption will trigger our security checks, and may require you to provide additional proof of purchase, such as the physical codes and till receipts."

How many berry bars can I reasonably use? What would count as overconsumption triggering a security check?!

football maths 2

2009-01-31T12:20:00.004Z

Football Focus 31/1/09

Steve Wilson: "Manchester United have made up 10 points in 10 games. And that's a statistic."

Sofa Dad

2009-01-29T06:14:00.005Z

Bye-bye Linda Barker, bye-bye wannabe rock-stars, even bye-bye the Las. There's a new sofa ad in town and who better to front it than a multi-generational nuclear family of 6. Sofa Dad (pictured above) looks inordinately pleased with his first choice of orange sofa, but there's a second version of the ad (for the North?) where all the sofas are even cheaper (and nastier - zebra print, anyone?) so he might end up with brown leather after all.

25th December

2008-12-25T00:00:00.001Z

Happy Christmas!

love from Adam & Sarah

24th December

2008-12-24T00:00:00.000Z

Our theme for this year's Christmas card is Polaroid. 80 years after Edwin Land got his first patent for developing instant photos, the Polaroid company have ceased production of film for their cameras. While Save Polaroid campaigns to find a new manufacturer, we present these images in memory of Christmas past.

23rd December

2008-12-23T00:00:00.004Z

Clearing the decks (with boughs of holly):

Here are all the other photos that didn't make it in before the 24th.

Thanks to Karen & Alan for this tasty Pandoro cake which we polished off at our Christmas drinks

A fat jolly old man ... and Santa

IKEA's rocking moose ...

... and a rocking Dala horse

22nd December

2008-12-22T00:00:00.000Z

Our church held its carol services yesterday and today, the one chance I get each year to hammer out some good tunes on its organ, which is coming up to its 100th anniversary next year. As well as the traditional numbers, our worship pastor Martin led the band and choir in renditions of 'A Christmas Offering' and a very gospelly 'Joy to the World'.

It's strange to think that so many of the carols that people regard as really traditional have only been popular since the 60s and 70s, when David Willcocks and his team did new arrangements for the 'Carols for Choirs' series, a standard that supplanted all other publications. Universally used by choirs worldwide, the harmonies and descants that we love to hear and sing were almost all created for these books.

People almost get offended when a carol service doesn't include their own favourite. This month the BBC Music Magazine had the results of a poll into choir leaders' favourite carol. The results were:

1. In the Bleak Midwinter
2. In Dulci Jubilo
3. A Spotless Rose
4. Bethlehem Down
5. Lully, Lulla
6. Tomorrow Shall be My Dancing Day
7. There is No Rose
8. O Come All Ye Faithful
9. Of the Father's Heart Begotten
10. What Sweeter Music

I'm guessing that you couldn't sing at least 5 of these, and indeed the comments page on the BBC website had people like Tim Rogers saying "Christmas without 'Ding dong! merrily on high' is like a game of football without the ball."

So which Christmas carols (or songs) can't you do without? I have to hear Mike Oldfield's In Dulci Jubilo at least once, and Anne Dudley's version of The Holly and the Ivy is something I'm still trying to play on the organ. How about you?

21st December

2008-12-21T00:00:00.002Z

Our local shopping centre has had a change from its usual Santa's Grotto. Instead it has a selection of animatronic Eskimos decorating a Christmas tree outside their igloo. Children are encouraged to throw copper coins at the penguins. Shopping there yesterday was brisk, with people fighting over the tat in Poundland and the 60% off items in Woolworths (where a sign by the tills warned customers against verbally or physically abusing their staff, after a spate of bargain-hunters swearing at the assistants because the discounts aren't deep enough).

20th December

2008-12-20T00:00:00.001Z

The last in our Saturday series of presents you would prefer to re-gift before unwrapping them! We found these in our new Poundland Christmas Store, a shop so cheap it makes Woolworths look upmarket.

Pet gifts are always a treat (who can forget the cat cracker of a few years ago) and any dog would surely look 'adorable' in a Santa cape.

Tenuous movie tie-in household cleaning products are hard to come by, so hopefully the HSM3 kitchen roll will encourage the youth of today to mop up any spills of Sunny D they make.

And the mini Henry will vacuum your keyboard for you, powered by only 2 AA batteries. And so easy to clean!

Fortunately none of these are the prize in our competition!

19th December

2008-12-19T00:00:00.002Z

We're big fans of fan art, where afficionados of a pop combo or TV sleb draw what they fondly imagine is a pencil homage to the object of their adoration. We're also fans of the portrait sketchers who line the streets of major cities offering at a high price what is, at best, a grotesque caricature of your family member.

So here's our competition for this year: name the actors who appear in this beautiful rendition, snapped in Spitalfields Market, and as a tie-break, say how much you would be prepared to pay for it. The person who gets the answer closest to Sarah's valuation wins an exclusive seasonal gift. Bonus prizes for anyone who emails their own drawing of a celebrity!

Send your entries to: adamcreen@hotmail.com

18th December

2008-12-18T00:00:00.001Z

It was only last week that we were saying how this advent calendar is ahead of the trends, using funky pie charts a whole year before the zeitgeist. We nearly came a cropper this year because Adam thought he'd spotted a growing trend that would do very well for both the calendar and the limited edition Christmas card. But by the beginning of December we realised that what had seemed like a good idea had already become a cliche. Of course we mean the craze for matryoshka, or Russian dolls. You can't move on the high street for doll teatowels, ornaments, mugs, purses, etc. So this is our one token contribution to the wave of sameness.

Our photo is of a fab German market on London's South Bank, where one stall was just heaving with Russian dolls of every shape and size.

17th December

2008-12-17T00:00:00.001Z

Christmas wouldn't be the same without A Muppet Christmas Carol. But of course the story of Scrooge is a staple of the TV scheduler's armoury.

Here are some of the best and funniest adaptations, most of which are on TV this Christmas.

Scrooge (1951), starring Alastair Sim as Scrooge
Scrooge (1970), a musical film adaptation starring Albert Finney as Scrooge and Alec Guinness as Marley's ghost
Scrooged (1988), a remake in a contemporary setting with Bill Murray being a misanthropic TV producer who is haunted by the ghosts of Christmas
The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992), featuring the various Muppet characters, with Michael Caine as Scrooge
A Christmas Carol (1997), an animated production featuring the voice of Tim Curry as Scrooge as well as the voices of Whoopi Goldberg and Michael York
Christmas Carol: The Movie (2001), an animated version with the voices of Simon Callow, Kate Winslet (who sings 'What if'), Nicolas Cage, Jane Horrocks, Rhys Ifans, Michael Gambon, and Juliet Stevenson
A Christmas Carol (1977), an adaption by the BBC with Sir Michael Horden as Scrooge
An American Christmas Carol (1979), an adaptation starring Henry Winkler at the height of his fame from the television series Happy Days, where the story is set in Depression era New England
A Christmas Carol (1984), starring George C. Scott as Ebenezer Scrooge, David Warner and Susanna York as the Cratchitts, with Edward Woodward as The Ghost Of Christmas Present
A Christmas Carol (1999), a television movie starring Patrick Stewart, inspired by his one-man show
A Christmas Carol (2000) A modern-day version starring Ross Kemp as Eddie Scrooge, an unscrupulous loan shark
A Diva's Christmas Carol (2000), a humorous adaptation starring Vanessa Williams as bitchy diva Ebony Scrooge
A Carol Christmas (2003) Made-for-TV adaptation on the Hallmark Channel starring Tori Spelling as "Scroogette" TV host Carol Cartman. William Shatner makes a special appearance as the ghost of Christmas Present, and Gary Coleman as the ghost of Christmas Past
A Christmas Carol: The Musical (2004), starring Kelsey Grammer

Who's your favourite?

UPDATE: A Muppet Christmas Carol is Archbishop Rowan Williams' favourite

16th December

2008-12-16T00:00:00.004Z

Today's calendar pictures are dedicated to the De Ath family of Crowborough, who put in a request for their favourite things - a goose, a bear and a train. I couldn't find a Christmas photo with all 3 of them, so here's what I tracked down ...

A snowy sculture of a goose and bear (and fox) in Anchorage, Alaska

A bear tries to steal a goose called Gaylord

A Canadian Christmas train

Postcode lottery

2008-12-15T20:00:00.001Z

Newspapers often complain that health services, for example, are subject to a postcode lottery. In Holland they actually do have a lottery where prizes are awarded based on people's postcodes. In the North East of England they have a postcode lottery where you get a £10,000 bonus if you're the only person in your street to win when your postcode comes up.

15th December

2008-12-15T00:00:00.004Z

This year, Cilla Black (born Priscilla White) is playing the Fairy Godmother in Cinderella at the Liverpool Empire. Bonnie (short for Bonita) Langford is playing Peter Pan in Richmond. Here's the scary fact: Bonnie is 44 years old, which is 2 years older than Cilla was when she started presenting Blind Date.

14th December

2008-12-14T00:00:00.000Z

here's a great ad for a present for the woman in your life!

if the video above doesn't work, then try video link 1 or video link 2

2.13

2008-12-13T22:00:00.001Z

2.13 is the decimal number du jour.

As well as 2.13% being the actual reduction in prices due to the VAT rate change, in the news this week:

short-sterling futures contracts dropped from 2.18 per cent to 2.13 per cent

the new Millennium 24 PC features six 2.13GHz Xeon L7455 processors

the Sacre Coeur mine in Guyana has found 2.13 grams per tonne of silver at a depth of 131 metres

the agricultural milk/feed ratio has improved by a ratio of 2.13, the best improvement since February

in episode 2.13 of Gossip Girl, Bart’s death sends Chuck into a downward spiral

since July, 2.13 inches of rain have fallen near Coyote Reservoir just outside Gilroy, CA

shares in General Motors reversed earlier gains to finish down 2.13 percent at US$4.60

Thaxted and Dunmow firefighters extinguished a house-fire caused by an OAP's bed-warmer by 2.13am

Things you didn't know you didn't know 1

2008-12-13T12:00:00.001Z

A table that has square legs the same thickness as and flush with the top is called a 'Parsons Table', after Parsons the New School of Design in New York where it was first designed. My favourite is the Lack table from Ikea. Perfect birchy goodness. Dame Judi Dench is often seen in the Croydon branch of Ikea, she likes the meatballs, according to Popbitch.

13th December

2008-12-13T00:00:00.000Z

If it's Saturday then it's naff presents time. Which would you most like to wake up to on Christmas morning? A patriotic flag with gold finial detail, a pet nail trimmer ("impossible to find in the shops"), or for the man in your life, a life-size cello wine holder, "carefully cast from polyresin". So are you a racist, a Crufts fanatic, or just blind to good taste and decorum?

12th December

2008-12-12T00:00:00.001Z

A seasonal snowflake hat, advertised in the Saks Fifth Avenue catalogue, with snowflakes designed by Marian Bantjes.

11th December

2008-12-11T00:00:00.000Z

Not one but two stocking filler books about graphs that illustrate pop songs. It shows how ahead of the trends this calendar is, it's a full 12 months since our Pie Chart Christmas Card was the toast of the Surrey design circuit. The disappointing thing about these books is that they are just copied off the internet, it's not even like the 'authors' had any ideas of their own.

10th December

2008-12-10T00:00:00.000Z

We were looking for a nice angel picture to put on the calendar, so big thanks to Isobel who sent us this Playmobil version of Gabriel visiting Mary that she made for a school project. We had Playmobil back on the very first Advent Calendar but nothing so handcrafted. We particularly like how Gabriel is so small he has to stand on a bench!

9th December

2008-12-09T00:00:00.000Z

Another great Christmas tree today, this one is a colourful fabric pattern that I spotted in the Gap store on Oxford Street. The Sugababes turned on the Oxford Street lights this year, which is slightly more prestige than my visit to Bluewater where Geri Halliwell silently turned on the lights and then strode off the stage.