Sorin's Blog - tango, motorcycles and misc other

Good or bad?

2008-06-27T12:18:00.001-07:00

I was talking with a beginner follower last night and she mentioned that she can't tell yet who are the good dancers. That is an excellent point, because I distinctly remember the people who I thought they were good dancers when I started, and in some cases I am ashamed ...

The woman in question obviously had more common sense then I had, because she was aware of her inability to tell. So, if you are a beginner follower, how can you tell, and, does it matter?

I'll tackle the "Does it matter" question first. In my opinion, yes it does. Dancing with a leader who doesn't respect your axis, who will push/pull/shove instead of leading, who steps with absolutely no relation to the music (and sadly, there are many of them), not only will not help you get better, but it would likely make you a worst dancer. Also, most of these people are also dangerous (to dance with/around). Another beginner follower who I advised to accept dances only from select people she said "but, then I will sit most of the night". And you might, but your dance will be better for it. In addition, when you accept dances with these clowns, those are also the times when the better dancers can't ask you, since you are on the floor. Many advanced dancers will dance with beginners for various reasons, the most common being to better the community. But it's unlikely they will go out of their way to seek out the ones that are never available. Also, an advanced dancer will be more likely to ask a discerning beginner.

How do you tell who is good? Hmm. OK, look for the following :

a) Elegance of movement
b) Their movements are correlated to the feel of the music (not to mention the beat)
c) They pause, savor the moment
d) They look stable, balanced, always in control of their limbs

How do you tell who is bad? Well, in addition to not having any of the qualities above, they also :

a) execute a volcada/colgada/sacada every 500ms
b) look like they will be crashing into walls or the floor any second now
c) cause their followers have a panicked look on their face
d) look at their feet
e) bump into people every minute
f) anyone executing ANYTHING that has their follower with both feet in the air at the same time at a milonga (as opposed to a performance).

So what do you do when one of these clowns are asking for a dance? Just say "No, thank you". If they have any class at all, they will not ask you again. Sometimes it may take a few "No, thank you" to fend them off completely. Conversely, do not say "No, thank you" to people you may want to dance with at some point in the future.

Feel free to come to talk to me about this. Obviously all the statements above are my opinion only, others may disagree. So ...

g) anyone who disagrees with me

just kidding!

Montreal NeoTango Festival 08

2008-05-23T13:24:00.000-07:00

I'm on my way back from the NeoTango fest in Montreal. I had a pretty good time, despite my thumb hurting like hell most of the time (I managed to fuck it up pretty good about a week ago in an incident involving a table saw).

MIA?

I haven't been writing a lot lately, for a number of reasons. One of them was/is being in a tango slump, or feeling like being in one. Boston has been very quiet in the last few months, I don't know what is the reason but many of the better dancers sort of stopped coming out. As a result, I kind of lost the drive to go out dancing, so I didn't dance as much. The quality of my dance went downhill and the depression uphill ... So, since I didn't want to make my blog a whiners forum, I kind of stopped posting.

Tango moments

I danced quite a bit at the festival, and while for the most part I wasn't moving great (pain medication, being a bit rusty, crowded dance floor), I had a few moments which alone would've made the trip worthwhile. I'll write about two of them, for reasons I'll explain a bit later. Saturday night we made it to the milonga very early so I had the chance to dance with Kyla a couple of tandas which were ... well, to call them awesome would be an understatement. She is in my opinion, in the highest tier of dancers I've ever had the chance to dance with, and she started dancing tango relatively recently. Another memorable couple of tandas were with Shorey. Every single time I danced with her since we met, I had a tango moment, and every single time it was better then before (except once at TdLM when I was moving like a drunk bear). One of the things I really appreciate about her is her unwillingness to compromise. She will not dance with someone unless she really wants to, and I will gladly take a gentle rejection then a pity dance. But if she decides to dance with you, she will make you feel like she is giving everything she's got (even if that's not true, I for one am nowhere near being able to handle everything she's got ... Not yet anyway).

I am not going to write about every single tanda I had, first because I'm too lazy, and second because there's no point in that, but I wanted to mention these two because both Kyla and Shorey teach, and I can't think of many followers who would not gain something by learning from any of them. And if you wonder why the "free advertisement", it's just my evil plan to encourage the creation of followers with (any of) their qualities.

About the festival

I didn't take any classes so I can't talk about that. The music preferences are highly subjective so I'm reluctant to talk about that, but I will mention that I really enjoyed the music Robin and Shorey played when they DJed. I liked the table arrangement at the "Espace Del Arte", which allowed people to walk around without walking on the dance floor. There was live music Saturday night, and while they sounded pretty good to me, they played mostly Piazzolla which I don't consider danceable, obviously other opinions may vary. I just used the time to socialize. During the all nighters there was always coffee which was very useful, I wish more organizers would do that. One suggestion I'd have for the space at the Fabrika is to create a two foot wide cordoned off space along one of the long walls to allow people to walk from the front to the back of the room without stepping on the dance floor. I almost punched a couple of morons who were walking on the dance floor like they were in their living room. One other thing I found rather puzzling was ending the Sunday milonga at 3am, when the energy was still really high and Monday was was a holiday.

Conclusions

- Slicing and dicing a thumb on the table saw before a tango festival should be avoided whenever possible.
- I'd much rather dance with good dancers who really like dancing with me then with fantastic dancers who are indulging me. While the latter would likely a much smoother experience, it generally feels rather unsatisfying.
- While I didn't progress (much) lately, I don't think I regressed (much) either, which is something I was afraid happened

First shot ... Again!

2008-03-25T10:16:00.000-07:00

When I purchased my large format camera I was planning to use it with Polaroid film, as I posted in the original post about it. But since, I found out the Polaroid film is being discontinued, so I dusted off my old Jobo rotary film processor, ordered a 50 sheet box of Efke 100 film (this is an eastern european film made using an old film recipe, which I prefer over the modern emulsions). In order to test the process (and see if the chemicals which were stored in the garage for the last 3-4 years are still good) I made a test shot. Turns out, they are fine even though the shelf live it's supposed to be about a year.

Why festivals are great and awful at the same time ....

2008-03-24T06:50:00.000-07:00

Last week I went to the Tango Marathon in DC. I had a great time. By Sunday afternoon I was moving incredibly well, and it seemed I reached another stage in my tango career. A week later, at the LongaMilonga, all of it was gone. I was (barely) back at my usual level.

I guess at a festival, after dancing for days/hours, one reaches the "sweet spot", all warmed up but before exhaustion hits, when they are at their absolute best. As awesome as that feels, it gets equally depressing once I get home and revert to my usual self. Kind of like drinking, fells good when you're drinking, but the headache next day is proportional with the "fun" one had. Yet I can't wait for the Yale festival next week... Nuts!

Busy weekend

2008-03-03T06:12:00.000-08:00

The weekend started early when I left work at 3PM to drive to Yale, for the Leap Year Milonga (on Feb 29th). We made it there around 6PM, had some dinner (pretty yummy pulled pork from the cafeteria) and since a practica/exchange was going on we started dancing.

We were expecting a lot more people from NYC to show up but there was a snow storm going on and the turnout was less then expected. It was a fine evening though, I had some fun dances, even though I was kind of tired and not very perky.

Around midnight Deb wasn't feeling well, and although we had someone to host us for the night, we decided to drive back home. In hindsight that was a bad idea, as I was tired, it was snowing, the road was covered in slush and despite the 4x4 being on, the Jeep was sliding all over the place. Once we got home around 3AM we crashed just to be woken up an hour later by a call from the office about some systems not working as they should... Grrrr

Saturday afternoon Korey & Mila had some workshops at MIT, one of them on single axis turns sounded interesting so we went. I liked the workshop very much. Korey & Mila are working a lot on the technique elements of movement ( and not that much on figures or sequences) and they build it up with exercises and games. I have to say, it was definitely worth going and I highly recommend their workshops. We also went to one of the workshops on Sunday called "Small & beautiful" which concentrated on fun things done with weight changes. One of the best thing about the workshops is that they were fun and useful for everyone despite the wide range of skill levels.

Saturday night we went to "Tango Paradiso" milonga. Sadly this milonga like most other milongas in Boston lately was sparsely attended. Mila & Korey were there though and I had one amazingly fun tanda with Mila (well, it was amazingly fun for me anyway ;) which made my evening. During that tanda, at some point she slowed me down and sort of took over the lead for a couple of steps, which was awesome! I'd like to believe she did that because she thought I can handle it but maybe she was just bored ;)

Sunday at the workshop Korey lead me for a little bit to show me something. Hmmm ... so that's how leading should/could feel like ... Crap, I have a looong way to go and I'm grateful to great dancers (like Mila and many others) for putting up with my shortcomings as I figure stuff out.

About the allnighter and a rant on appologies on the dance floor

2008-02-29T08:53:00.000-08:00

Saturday Deb and I went to the monthly all nighter in Providence. The place was livelier then it was in the last few months, not in small part because of Robin Thomas who managed to convince a NY contingent to show up.

After opening the night with Debbi as usual (we did have a lot of fun with a milonga set) I danced with Kayla, Robin's partner. Despite a cold, she was just as fun as always. The music was great, Robin is one of my favorite DJs and 3 tandas passed in a blink of eye. At some point between tandas I mentioned that in my effort to correct my posture my back tension is ... well... back. She suggested I don't bring my chest forward when I dance, but rather widen my shoulders. That's something I will be trying, as it makes sense to me.

I danced with a couple of women who despite being good dancers kept apologizing for their (perceived) mistakes. This is something I strongly discourage people from doing (unless someone got hurt of course). First, you don't really know if whatever you thought you done wrong was wrong to begin with, second, it's a partner dance, a hiccup in the dance is rarely caused 100% by just one of the dancers. It's generally a shared responsibility. Even if something gone wrong is the fault of one of the dancers, apologizing not only it doesn't help with anything, but it makes things worst. Let's say the hiccup lasted for a second or two. If you keep silent and concentrate on the dance, that's all there is to it. If you apologize you take another 2-3 seconds and then if your partner feels like they are to blame they will take a few seconds to reply. So, instead of a 2 second disruption from the dance, now it's a 10 second disruption. My advice is, don't apologize unless someone gets hurt/hit. If you feel like you really have to apologize, wait until the song is over.

Overall it a good night of dancing, we stayed until 3:30am I think.

First restoration project

2008-02-27T16:06:00.000-08:00

The camera I used to take the picture I posted a little while ago it was in a deplorable condition. Chipped paint, oxidate and dirty metal components, moldy & ruptured bellows "fixed" with electrical tape, etc. While it was sort of usable, it bothered me (and I'm not obsessive-compulsive about cleanness and order).

Since I had a brand new workshop available to me, I took the whole thing apart and :

* stripped all the paint from all the wooden parts
* sanded and polished most of the metal parts
* sanded, treated, stained & coated the wooden parts
* fixed the broken bellow edges with textile band and painted it with flexible rubber paint (we'll see how well that holds up).
* put it all back together

Sounds simple, right? That's what I thought when I started, but it turns out, there was a lot more work that I expected. But it's more or less completed now. There are some things I might do in the future, like plate all the non-brass metal with brass and polish it (why they used mixed metals is beyond my ability to understand), refinish the wooden parts to get a smoother surface, make a new bellows, but for now, I will use it as it is. Here it is, with pictures (you can click on the picture for a bigger, more detailed image) before and after.

By the way, for the younger generation, yes, this is a camera, it uses something called "film" to record the image and there are good reasons to use such a camera ;) To give you just one of them which is easier to explain, when properly used, the camera can produce an image with detail equivalent with a 200 mega-pixel camera.

Coffee Maker open "heart" transplant ...

2008-02-26T06:33:00.001-08:00

When my coffee maker decided to stop making coffee a few days ago I got really annoyed. It was less then a year old. It could've been in warranty but I could not find the receipt.

Without any other option, I decided to diagnose the problem. I opened it up and shortly after it became clear that the heating element was gone. Grrrr ... Buying parts for things is nearly impossible for a regular person, and even if I could, they are usually half the price of the new item. But, I did have an old an ugly coffee maker in the basement which was left by a tenant. The heating elements can't be that different, right?

So I opened that one up and sure enough, the heating elements are almost identical. Here are the coffee makers ready for the transplant.

15 minutes later the transplant is completed :

And 10 minutes later it was confirmed the patient was alive!

Guerrilla Milonga

2008-02-12T13:27:00.000-08:00

A cool concept, everyone agrees. Pick a public place (indoors during the winter) with a decent floor surface, bring some music, and start dancing. Should the guards/cops ask you to leave, you just move to the next designated spot.

Too bad no one comes to these things. Today I had to cancel the third one in a row as I only had two other people "confirmed" (aside from me and Deb) and a couple more "maybe"s.

I'm throwing in the towel.

First shot ...

2008-02-11T08:36:00.000-08:00

Since I purchased my first serious digital camera my photography taking process changed. It went from a Zen experience to a rush. The cost per picture dropped to zero (if you don't count depreciation) so taking hundreds of pictures in a few hours is not uncommon.

But I forgot about the experience of carefully composing and making a picture. Recently on a whim, I purchased an old view camera, in pretty bad condition. The plan is to restore it and then use it to regain some of that lost feeling of building an image. I will likely use Polaroid film (for as long as I find it, as they just announced they will stop all instant film production over the next year, what a great timing I have) as it gives the instant gratification I grew so fond off :-)

Using a Polaroid back I made my first image yesterday, and while it was a test shot (to test the lens, light leaks in the camera, the function of the Polaroid back, the Polaroid film which was expired), I figured I should make it, if it comes out, count. So, image no 00001 is of Deb having her morning coffee in the old rocking chair in front of the window. For those of you who care and know, it was shot at f8.5, 1/25 on Polaroid type 57 (3000 iso)with a Graflex Optar 203mm f7.5.

The tale of the workshop (no, this is not about tango)

2008-02-08T07:36:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago I found a box with parts of a wooden view camera I started to build a few years ago but never finished. I decided I'd like to finish it, but I quickly remembered why I never finished it. I had no good place to work. You try to use a table saw in the kitchen, especially if you have a girlfriend...

At the same time, on the side of the house there was this room which used to be a solarium a long time ago. It had glass panels on one side, access from the outside and inside of the house. Sadly, it's been in a horrifying state since I bought the house. The glass panels were damaged so the prior owner covered them up with plywood panels, the floor was dirty concrete, the walls had wall paper decades ago, but now all the was peeled and smelly. The door between the room and the house looked like a legion of rats chewed through it (it was missing about a foot by a foot of one of the corners.

So, it occurred to me I could make myself a workshop in that room. But being on a tight budget as I'm trying to paying my debt it needed to happen quite cheap.

So I gathered stuff I had around the house :

about 10 2x4s
a couple of 1x2s
some partially broken sheets of glass
screws and nails
two partial boxes of vinyl tiles
a few partial cans of paint
a door lock
commercial grade floor sealant

I bought a few things from Home Depot
4 sheets of 4x8 sheet rock ($22)
tile adhesive ($12)
patching compound ($7)
3 sheets of plexy ($9)
A cheap door ($22)
a 2x4 sheet of pegboard ($5)

Then, I removed most of the wall paper and sanded down the walls a bit and installed the panels over it. I used one of the glass panel frames which was damaged beyond repair to fix the others, sanded down the frames and painted them brown along with the door frames. Out of the paint I had I combined them into a nice shade of beige (with Deb's help I managed to avoid having my workshop painted pink as that was the color I got on my own ...) and I used it to paint the walls and part of the glass frames.

I replaced the door, luckily I already the door handle/lock. I then used the tiles to cover the floor, and amazingly after I was done I was left with two tiles (quite miraculous considering that I never really counted to see if I had enough). I finished painting the walls and the trim, filled gaps with caulk and coated the floor with the sealant.

I removed the panels with were used to board the glass panels and I used two of them along with the 2x4s to make a worktable (the plans I used are here). Since I will need to use a router I made the table so it can easily accept the router table and while I was at it, I made it to accept a miter saw and of course I had made a panel to cover the surface back to a flat table.

I brought in the table saw I bought at a yard sale a few years back and brought it back into shape. Brought in the drill press I had in the garage. At work we are converting a storage room into a "war" room so there were a lot of shelves which were removed, so I asked and got them for free. I installed some of them. Took a little time to organize my tools and other gadgets and ...

voila!

It's not finished by any means, I still have things to paint, to clean, to repair, but it's a functional workshop!

Back from NYC ...

2008-01-23T08:56:00.000-08:00

This weekend Deb and I drove to NYC to attend the Nocturne Saturday and the milonga on Sunday evening. As it usually happen, we both had a great time.

The "perfect 2nd dance"

I had many good dances Saturday, but the one that stands out was with Ms. AmazingEmbrace. I only danced with her once before, at Seaport in the fall and I remembered those tandas as amazing. So I was really happy to see her, but I have to admit, I was a bit concerned. Many times, the second time you dance with someone with whom you had a "perfect" first dance is more or less disappointing. There are many reasons for this, some of them objective (it happened that the first time both of you were "in the "zone", you were warmed up, the music was just perfect, etc), and some of them subjective (one tends to idealize a great experience). Well, I'm happy to say that my fears were completely unjustified. I lost count how many tandas we danced non-stop, but it was over 45 minutes. I know this because one of our friends (jokingly) complained to Deb "Did you know that Sorin it's been hogging X for 45min?"... ;-) And every one of those 45 (or so) minutes was as good as it gets. She has an absolutely amazing embrace (hence the alias), the right amount of playfulness and great technique. And what's really cute is that she doesn't seem to realize (or believe) how great of a dancer she really is. If this was the only 45 minutes I danced the whole weekend, it still would've been worth the trip.

Departures

One of my favorite dancers (and I'll call her Ms. WackyKid as it fits her personality) in NYC left the city for 7 months. The way some people have birthday dances on their birthday, she had a "good bye" dance. Based on people's response when the "good bye" dance was announced, everyone really likes her and she will be missed. I know I will miss her and I'm glad we got to dance before she left.

Navigation

I am happy to say I am getting much better at navigation. Both nights were pretty packed and I did OK. Not great, but not bad either. I was thinking I should maybe set up in the garage a "training field". Tie to the ceiling a number of sand bags and have them swing around randomly as I try to "dance" with a pillow. Keep doing it until the sand bags never hit the pillow (and preferably never hit me either). Hmmm, I'll think some more about it...

Tension

I think I discovered why I have upper body tension with some followers and not with others. The times I don't, it's because the follower is "immune" to my tension. Sometimes I get tense (a near collision, a brief balance loss, etc). Some followers respond to that tension with some of their own, to which I respond with more, so it keeps escalating. Some followers mastered the art of absorbing the leader's tension and they are solely responsible for my "tensionless" experiences. The challenge now would be to work on this skill myself, to never respond to tension with more tension, but rather absorb it. Of course, I should start by not initiating any tension in the first place :-)

When you have to say no

At one of the milongas as I was sitting on the edge looking for someone in particular, a woman came and sat next to me. She payed me a compliment on my dancing and she asked me if I would dance with her. So far, nothing wrong with that. I happened to see her dancing before and I didn't think we would dance well together, so I said "I am not dancing right now, but thank you", I smiled and then I looked away. After which she asked "Well, maybe the next tanda then?". I didn't want to flat out say no so I said "Thank you for asking, but I am now looking to dance with someone in particular" and I looked away again. At which point she replied "How about later then?" and waited for an answer. So I answered "No, thank you". She asked these questions loud enough so anyone in the immediate vicinity could hear her. Some people use this "technique" to coerce people into dancing with them by using to their advantage the tendency of most people not to embarrass the "offenders". Obviously, the "technique" can easily backfire ...

Milonga

My milonga is getting better, albeit very slowly. It makes sense though, since the usual milonga to tango ratio played at milongas is 1 to 6, and it took me two years to get where I am now, to get to the same level in milonga I would need then 12 years? I clearly have to do something about that as I'm not prepared to suck at it for another 10 years ..;-)

The embrace, the embrace and ... the embrace

We were staying with friends, tango dancers themselves and when we got back from the Sunday milonga, despite being exhausted, we talked for a while about the ever elusive "perfect embrace". Some people have it, but no one can seem to explain why it's perfect. That is very frustrating, how can one try to achieve that perfect embrace if no one can define it? Grrrr ....

Too good for your own good?

2008-01-16T07:14:00.000-08:00

This post debates the wisdom of perpetually trying to improve one's ability to dance tango.

A while ago someone told me she doesn't want to get too good (at tango). When she saw the perplexed expression on my face, she explained that she lives in a small community and if she got too good she would not be able to enjoy dancing in her community anymore. At the time I thought it was just silly, but I'm not so sure anymore.

As I got better, the number of people I enjoy dancing with reduced dramatically. Most people's experiences seem to be the same. So one can't stop wondering, will the list get smaller and smaller as one gets better and better? There are a few people I know, all reputed to be fantastic dancers, whom I've only seen dancing with just a handful of people. It seems like anyone else just doesn't do it for them anymore. So, why try to get there?

One can argue that if you are better, you can appreciate the subtleties of tango. True, but I still remember my first "tango high" I had when I was about 9 months into tango, and I remember the last one I had. While the level of dancing was certainly higher on the last one, the intensity of it was similar. The only difference is that now I require dancing of much higher quality to get "high". But the quality of the "high" itself was pretty much the same.

I can see one benefit of getting better, more of the good dancers will dance with you. But if one is already at the point where most good dancers will dance with you, what is the point of getting even better?

The big question is, is there a point of diminishing returns in one's tango development ?

8 Differences Between the 1950s and Now

2007-12-27T09:28:00.001-08:00

Scenario 1: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957: Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007: School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario 2: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957: Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007: Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario 3: Jeffrey won’t be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957: Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007: Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957: Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007: Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario 5: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957: Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007: Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6: Pedro fails high school English.
1957: Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007: Pedro’s cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro’s English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 7: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957: Ants die.
2007: BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny’s Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 8: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957: In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007: Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy. Johnny’s parents sue the school for negligence and the teacher for emotional trauma and win both cases. Mary, jobless and indebted, commits suicide by jumping off of a tall building. When she lands, she hits a car and also damages a potted pot. The car’s owner and the plant’s owner sue Mary’s estate for destruction of property. They both win.

GhettoTango & Nocturne in NYC

2007-12-17T12:55:00.000-08:00

Nicknames

Since I started my blog I used initials to refer to various people but that can get quickly confusing as there are a lot of people with the same initials. The reason I didn't use their names is because this blog is public and I didn't want everyone to know precisely who I was talking about, but at the same time, I didn't mind allowing people I know to be able to tell/guess the identities of the characters in my posts. Another blogger gave me the idea to come up with nicknames for the people I am writing about. The choice of the nickname would allow the "subjects" and a few others to know who I am talking about but protect their identity from most of the other readers. I will slowly update (some of) my past posts with nicknames.

Pajama tango

There is something about dancing tango in pajamas right after waking up that makes it really, really dreamy. It was around noon on Saturday when we (about 10 of us who took advantage of Adam & Ciko hospitality and crashed at their loft) got up after dancing the night @ GhettoTango. After having coffee Mr. TangoSuperNut took out his ipod and by sharing the ear buds he started dancing with Ms. TinyNorthern, as they didn't get to during the night. Shortly after, he took out his laptop and started playing music we could all hear. There was one woman there that I didn't know and while I've seen her during the night, we didn't get to dance or even talk. After the introductions were made I asked her to dance. She was wearing her PJs (so her nickname will be Ms. Pajamas) and socks. I was in socks too. I was also wearing other clothes ;) We danced for a while and it was absolutely lovely. We were both barely awake, which translated into a warm embrace with zero tension. We just enjoyed the dance, the music, laughed out the "hiccups" and only stopped dancing when we were warned that we'd be left without food if we didn't go join the others for breakfast. Breakfast tango is great, I wish there would be more of it soon!

Too short!

When one has a good time, the time passes really fast. The Nocturne felt like it was only an hour long, even though it started at 10PM and ended at 3:30AM. I danced a lot yet there were so many people I didn't have a chance to dance with. Why do all these milongas have to end so early? I wish we could dance until there is no one standing.

Taking the bus

For this trip I had the unfortunate idea to take the bus. I was thinking that if I take the bus I will be less tired when I get there and I was hoping to save some money as my car is a Jeep, not exactly known for it's fuel economy. Boy that was a mistake. Why? I left work Friday at 1:15. Drove to a t-stop, parked the car, waited for the subway, and made it to the bus terminal at 2:30. At 3PM the bus left and we made to chinatown a little after 8PM. We walked to WTC, waited for the train and made it to Adam's loft around 9:45 (we only took a 30 min "break" to have some dinner). So, subtracting the dinner time, I was on the road for over 8 hours. Pretty much the same when we got back. The cost? Between the bus cost, the trains, parking for the car, a short cab ride the grand total for both Debbi and I was ~ $100. The gas cost for a round trip with my car is about $75 and it would've taken us about 4-5 hours to get there. That was the last time I will ever take the bus anywhere.

NoTango Land

A few of the people I met during this trip live in places where there is virtually no tango. They all used to live in tango cities only to have to move away to follow their career. I was thinking, what would I do if I got a fantastic job offer in a place where there is no tango? Would I take it? I don't think so (unless of course I would have no choice). Would you?

Tango chat at sunrise

The Nocturne ended at 3:30AM, by the time we got out it was already after 4AM. We (the people staying with Adam & Ciko) were not going to make it to the 4:30 train, so we decided to have some food and take the 5:15 from Penn Station. When we got to the loft it was close to 6AM. You'd think that after two full nights of dancing everyone would just pass out. Nope. We hung out for a while talking about the music, DJing, tanda selections, etc. If this is not evidence of true passion, I don't know what is.

Seeking perfection?

Someone wrote a post about "tango stages". I was thinking about where I am in that classification and I believe I am in between the "Disenchantment" and "Contentment" stages. In the last few months I got increasingly frustrated with my tango experiences. I would dance with someone and manage for a brief moment to completely connect with the music, to feel it "perfectly" only to have the follower missing completely what I was trying to convey. I would be so disappointed that the moment was "wasted". I would allow that then to "taint" my experience and allow myself to come back home from the milonga depressed. But recently something started to change. I went to a local milonga a little while ago and I was able to enjoy some of the dances despite frequent little mishaps, despite missed leads, despite imperfections in the embrace, despite not being a "perfect dance". That gives me hope, as "perfect dances" are few and far in between. The dances I could not enjoy were the ones where I didn't feel the follower's desire to be in the embrace and I didn't feel her joy of the dance. Those were the dances I just wanted to be over. Most dancers have some endearing qualities, it's just a matter of finding them and enjoy that instead of "lock on" to shortcomings of the dance. How is that related to the subject of the post? It's not.

New space for nocturne

The space Adam booked for this month Nocturne is fantastic in my opinion. The dance floor is basically a "fishbowl", an area separated from the rest of the space with glass walls. You could sit at the bar without being subjected to loud music and still see all the "action" through the glass. The decor is tasteful (except for the Christmas decorations which were cheesy at best) and the location is great, just two blocks away from Penn Station. The dance surface is fantastic, the sound system is top notch, the seating areas have an intimate feeling without being isolated. I hope they manage to book this space on a permanent basis.

Something "old", something "new"

I realized that for me, one of the attractions in tango is the comfort in dancing with people I know I like to dance with combined with the thrill of discovering new favorites. The first few dances with somebody you haven't danced with before can be truly magical. Sometimes you KNOW it will be awesome the moment you get in the embrace. Every one of the people I love dancing with has a different embrace. Some connect chest to chest. Some in a slight V embrace. Some connect with their entire body from the waist up. Some rest their forehead on my cheek. The variations are endless. Some times the embrace it's not "perfect" at first, maybe there is some tension for example, but sometimes those imperfections melt during the dance. Or they become irrelevant. You discover the signature moves the other person has. Some move very slowly, like through molasses, some are energetic. Every step is a new discovery. The process is intoxicating. It was no different this time at GhettoTango. After dancing with a few of my favorite dancers I asked to dance someone I haven't met before. Of course, you watch the people dance before asking or accepting a dance, but watching someone dance can't tell you a lot. You can tell you're not going to hate dancing with them, but that's about all I can tell. When I asked Ms. ScarletCarnation to dance, I knew already she was a good dancer, but that was about all I knew. A tanda later I knew I had a new favorite dancer. There was another new face there which I will call Ms. GoldenJoy. The main reason I asked her was because I saw how her eyes would light up when she was watching the blissful look on the other dancers faces. I could feel her joy through the embrace and her sadness when the music stopped. One of the things that make an embrace great, even if it's not "technically perfect" is when you can feel your partner REALLY wants to be there, when you can feel their reluctance to break away the embrace when the song is over.

Conclusion

I had a great time. I'll be back in NYC really soon!

$7110.02 ...

2007-11-27T06:53:00.000-08:00

... is the amount in fraudulent charges made on my American Express card in the last 5 days. And American express never thought it was odd "I" was charging $3000 at Bloomingdales in NY at the same time I was paying at a restaurant in Montreal.

It doesn't seem like I'm responsible for those charges but still, it's stressful to know we're so exposed. What if that was my debit card? Not that I have that kind of money in my bank account but still.

Montreal again ...

2007-11-25T19:19:00.001-08:00

I'm in the car coming back from Montreal where Debbi and I went this weekend to dance. It was a nice trip.

Two of our tango friends came with us in the car, so we talked about tango most of the time, which made the drive seem much shorter then usual.

Friday we went to Moka Danse and we got there around 10. Since there was another special occasion milonga nearby, it wasn't nearly as crowded as it usually is. We met with a friend who recently came back from BsAs with a pair of Comme il Faut for Debbi, and once she put them on, Deb was so happy we quickly went to the dance floor to try them out. And they worked! Debbi was moving well and we had a couple of fun tandas.

My second dance of the night was with L, a girl from Montreal. We danced before and she is a beautiful dancer. While I'm guessing she is in her early twenties, she is been dancing since she was really young, and it shows. Great connection, fantastic musicality, warm and comfortable embrace. I liked the music, I was inspired and there was still some space on the dance floor so it went really well. The two tandas we danced together were probably the best I've had this weekend (with the two tandas I had with Marika a close second, as I was really tired when I danced with Marika and I was not as inspired).

After that, the Friday evening went downhill. It got crowded and I was too stressed out to enjoy myself, I seemed to have such a bad timing when asking people to dance (when I really liked the music the people I wanted to dance with were not available, when they were available, I didn't like the music or the floor was too crowded, when the floor finally cleared up, most people I was looking to dance with were done for the night). So aside from L, the couple of dances I had with E, our lovely host, and Deb, I didn't really had any great dances (in most cases it was not the follower's fault, I just was unable to get in the "zone") but none were bad.

Saturday morning we had breakfast with our hosts which was great (both the breakfast and the company), we hung out, talked about tango, practiced a bit and then later in the afternoon we went to do some food shopping as they were having some people for drinks before going out to dance. We had a blast talking with some of the people we often dance with, but hardly ever talk with, and then we went to a restaurant to have dinner. We had wine and fun conversation but it took forever to bring our food, so I got a bit cranky.

When we got there it wasn't very crowded, but it filled up quickly after we arrived. Me and Deb we danced for a few tandas but I was still cranky and that didn't go all that great.

After dancing with V (a very good dancer from Montreal) for a few tandas, my mood had slowly started to improve. While it was crowded, there were a lot of good dancers and the navigation wasn't too bad.

I danced with too many people to mention them all but I have to mention some.

R (a very sweet Romanian girl from Montreal whom I met at a festival in Montreal a year ago) was there. Somehow we didn't get to dance the last few times we ran into each other, so this time I asked her to dance as soon as we met. She improved a lot since the last time we danced, her embrace was very relaxed and warm and when I asked, she told me she worked with Marika on her embrace. It showed. If a follower finds herself in Montreal and wants to work on her embrace (and I can't see why she wouldn't, as it one of the most important elements of close embrace tango), I would highly recommend to seek out Marika. She is a very sweet person and her embrace is amazing. I have yet to meet anyone who danced with her and disagrees with that statement.

I danced for the first time with M, one of the DJs in Montreal. I wish I was more inspired and less tired, but it was a fun tanda. Between songs she asked how come she didn't see me when she was in Boston two years ago. When I replied I wasn't dancing tango two years ago she seemed very surprised. "But you danced some other dances before tango, right?". No, I didn't. It was nice to hear someone being surprised I've been dancing for less then two years. Sometimes I feel like I am plateauing despite my efforts, so hearing the surprise in her voice was a great compliment.

I had two tandas with Marika who despite not feeling well was just as amazing as always.

We left around 4:30AM and we crashed as soon as we hit the bed. Woke up at noon, we met a friend for brunch at one and we were back on the road at 3pm.

Overall it was a fun trip. I had a few great dances, most of the others were at least good, none were bad. We got to know M and E a bit more and they are awesome (and their apartment is gorgeous, Deb has a serious case of apartment envy). We met some fun people, socialized and spent a little time in Montreal, a city we really like.

Facebook

2007-11-22T17:06:00.000-08:00

Until a couple of days I was blissfully ignorant about the networking sites. I've heard people talk about them but I didn't pay attention. Until a few days ago when a friend sent me a message about some pictures she posted online and went through the link in the email to ... facebook.

Shit, now I have another addiction.

Last Nocturne at Empire

2007-11-18T09:31:00.000-08:00

To fend off some of the expected post-festival depression, Deb and I hopped in the car Saturday and came to NYC to attend the last "Nocturne" at Empire. We were expecting everybody to be there and they were. A & S were so kind to host us on such short notice and after the 4 of us had dinner at an indian restaurant, Deb and I headed to Empire for the class before the milonga. The class was not all that much fun but not many group classes are.

After opening the evening with Deb as usual, my second dance was with A from Princeton. She has a very warm and relaxed embrace, good connection and musicality. The last time (which was also the first) we danced together at the NYC tango festival on live music which I didn't like much so this was the first time we danced on traditional recorded music. While I wasn't uber inspired it was a very pleasant couple of tandas.

During the dinner with our host, we were talking about the best women dancers in NYC, making a list. It was not a very big list. As I was at the milonga I realized that most of them were there, and most of them are people with whom I dance with most times when we run into each other. When I feel like bitching about where I live I need to remember that I am luckier then most. One person on the list who was there and with whom I never danced before was V. S introduced us and I asked her if she was going to stay later, as the floor was crowded and I prefer to have space when I dance for the first time with someone really good. Unfortunately she was going to leave soon, so off we went. On top of crowded floor issue, the next two tandas were also completely un-inspiring, some lyrical music with a lot of vocals. I tried to make the best of it, but I'm afraid I didn't make a stellar impression... Maybe next time I'll have better luck.

The surprise of the evening was a fellow blogger, Nuit. While we met some time ago, last night was the first time we had a chance to dance together. She's only been dancing for 6 months yet she has a relaxed and warm embrace, she is pretty good at following through the steps (not anticipating movement), a clear sense of the music and one other quality that is difficult to come by, she doesn't tense up when stuff doesn't work. She is already lovely to dance with and if she continues to progress at the same pace, she has the potential to be pretty great. In between sets I told her I found her dancing rather impressive for someone that has been dancing for such a short time and she replied along the lines of "oh, you are too kind". Mmm, no, not really. I don't remember ever making a compliment I didn't mean or even "padding" a compliment. Just ask Deb ;-).

I got to dance with S again, and the music sucked both tandas. Speaking of the music, Avik from Ann Arbor was DJing, the tandas that I liked, I really liked, but he kept playing throughout the evening lyrical sets with a lot of vocals and little rhythm. While this type of music is pleasant to dance once in a while, last night I think it was one in 3 or 4 tandas. She is such a blast to dance with on the right music, it wasn't meant to be.

The lyrical music did work for me once last night. Marika from Montreal was there and I saw her sitting down after dancing with Felipe for a few high energy tandas. I felt a little guilty for not letting her catch her breath but she is hardly ever sitting and I thought if I waited any longer I'd miss my chance. She has such a lovely embrace and she is one of the very few people I really enjoy dancing on very lyrical music. Absolutely lovely two tandas.

R was there and we danced one set, but once again, I didn't like the music. But she has a great embrace so it was a good tanda regardless.

Toward the end of the night I danced with L for the first time. I didn't remember seeing her before, even though she started about a year ago. I saw her dancing last night and she looked good. After the first song I asked her if she is studying with Robin Thomas, and she confirmed. She has some signature qualities which made it very easy for me to guess who her teacher was. The embrace, the way she steps forward and some other details, (all of them positives). Robin is such a good influence on followers I can't really imagine how the NYC scene would be without him.

Ciko was hosting and dancing so I only caught her about ten minutes before the milonga ended, it was way past 4am. She is so much fun to dance with, but I was almost wiped out by then so I'm afraid I didn't have much to offer. When "La Cumparsita" started I went and woke up Deb, who crashed about an hour earlier and we had our last dance, both of us being wiped out. We did good considering ...

Now Deb is driving back and I'm writing this. Was this worth the cost? My Jeep is a gas guzzler, so this trip cost us about $100 in gas plus the other expenses. Probably, I had a great time.

Next week we're going to Montreal for a special event. Looking forward to that, despite the optimistically 5 hour drive.

Tango de Los Muertos

2007-11-14T11:56:00.001-08:00

It's Wednesday and I'm back to work. This time I was smart enough to get both Monday and Tuesday off (after the festival). I'm glad I did as I was exhausted. I was planning on doing some work around the house yesterday, but I didn't really do much the whole day. Worked a little on the pictures I took at the festival (I took over a thousand pictures, it will take some serious work to edit, crop and adjust all of them).

The festival was great. I mean, what is really important was awesome : the dancers, the music and plenty of time to dance. There were some things I wish were different, but I'll get to that later.

New friendships

Like it happens at every festival, I met new people with whom I had some amazing dances. Amazing for me that is, if they enjoyed it a 1/4th of how much I did, I'd be happy. I will mention the ones that are teaching tango in their cities, because while I never had the opportunity to take classes with any of them, they are such amazing dancers, and such awesome people, I have no doubt they have a lot to give. So, here they are in no particular order. Thank you Jenna (Portland) for the awesome dances. She has a such an amazingly active following style, and if you are a follower and you have a change to take a class, ask her to show you how to improve your giro, I can guarantee she can show you how to make it amazing. Oh yeah, and sorry Jenna for the 10000 left turns I was leading, they were just too much fun, I could not help myself... ;-) You know a dancer is amazing when it inspires you to do things that you were never did before, like that gancho which I didn't even think it was possible ;-) Thank you Charity (San Fracisco) for the most fun bar none I've ever had dancing on live music Thursday and on nuevo music Sunday. I did not think it was possible for me to enjoy dancing on live music or nuevo music. Boy, was I wrong. A very good dancer from NY told me one of his best tanda ever was with Charity. Same here. Her ability to maintain a connection (despite my sometimes awfully clumsy moves) was just amazing. After that tanda on Sunday afternoon, I was high on endorphins for at least half an hour. Thank you Christina (San Francisco) for giving me my first couple of tandas of the festival. DiSarli's Corazon is just too beautiful song not to dance to and thanks to you, not only it didn't go to waste, but I got to dance to it with a great dancer. She has such a calming way of moving, she managed to keep my upper back tension (my nemesis) down, which was an amazing accomplishment in itself.

Old(er) friendships

Then there were the people that I already knew. Marika (Montreal) with her amazing embrace, Mila (Kansas City) which I have to thank for my first two tandas at Sundays afternoon milonga, which set the tone for an amazing tango day. S (NY) which sadly I only got to dance with once at the height of the Saturday mayhem, and who was such a sport about my abysmal navigation skills and inspiration at that time. Shorey (San Francisco) the best DJ I know, with her amazing music on Saturday, I only wish I was more inspired when we danced on Friday. M from NY who is such a sweet person and awesome dancer, R (Princeton) who I rarely get to dance with, which put up with my milonga dancing, M (Chicago) whom I was so glad to see again after meeting her at the NY festival, S (Montreal) and many others.

And then last but certainly not least, my lovely Debbi, with whom I had the last dance each night (well, maybe I should say every morning) and who after less then one year of dancing she dances better then most.

The festival, the good

Tova & Carlos got a lot right with this festival. They managed to attract fantastic dancers from everywhere, they got amazing DJs, danceable live music (those of you who read my blog on regular basis, you didn't think I was ever going to say that, didn't you?), long milongas so we had lots of time to enjoy all those things (like 2 all nighters and the Friday till 3am). The location was Springstep which has great hardwood floors, a great sound system, plenty of parking and it's easily accessible. The themed milongas were fun, a lot of people got into it and came dressed in some very inventive outfits. I thought some of the decorations were inspired, some in my opinion were not (the vertical food thing was awkward at best), but I personally don't think decorations are all that important at a milonga, to me they are pretty much at the bottom of my list (way behind the layout, lighting, drinks and food). Tova & Carlos convinced a local restaurant to open at 5AM so people can go have an early breakfast after the all nighters, which was a nice touch.

the not so good (in my opinion)

table layout - Saturday, the layout of the tables and chairs was uninspired at best. Having chairs along both long walls and nothing else had everyone walk on the dance floor which created a navigational nightmare. I am surprised I have never seen any organizer using cordons to mark the dance floor. They don't take any space and I suspect they would be highly effective at stopping people from using the dance floor as a pass through area.

performances - In my opinion the performances were way too long (3 couples 3 songs each) and taking a one tanda break between the second and third couple was an odd choice at best. They were also very late, past midnight so all the people who were there for the performances were forced to stay longer they would've otherwise. The festivals where performances are scheduled separately, before the milonga are best in my opinion, as it gives one the option of not going to either the performance or the milonga if they don't want to. As far as the performances themselves, while technically perfect (as much as I could tell) they had a lot of acrobatics which I personally don't care for. They reminded me of gymnastics competitions, where the gymnasts are performing complicated heart stopping moves with a face expression that shows the incredible concentration required to do all that stuff. I fail to see tango in all of that. I watched the same people dancing socially later and I liked their social dancing a lot better.

crowded - In my opinion the large studio at Springstep was not large enough for the amount of people that were in attendance. Between 10PM and 2AM it was almost impossible to dance without getting injured. While the orange studio was opened as well on both Friday and Saturday, almost no one went to dance there. I tried, it just felt weird to ask someone to dance and take them to another room. I think more people would've used the room if it was designated as an "alternative/nuevo" milonga with a different DJ.

lighting - The lighting is awkward in the large studio at springstep and aside from that they only had two reflectors on a single stand. As a photographer I am more sensitive then most to the lighting and there is no way to properly light a room with one light stand. I wish some of the effort and money spent on decorations went to a better lighting setup. Which reminds me, I continue to be surprised by people's preference for dark rooms for milongas. How is a dark room more suitable for tango is beyond my ability to understand.

The conclusion

The positive far outweighed the negatives, it was a great festival, looking forward to the next year. And now I'm going back to the regularly scheduled post-festival depression ;)

"You're too greedy..."

2007-11-13T11:20:00.000-08:00

I took last night a private (tango lesson) with Tomas Howlin. Deb booked it and she asked me to join her. While there are countless things I need to work on, I had some doubts that I would get new useful information, I thought I was aware of my shortcomings.

Deb asked him to help her become a more musical follower and since I consider musicality to be the most important quality a dancer can have, I figured I would ask for the same kind of help. Tomas watched us dance for half a song and then he told me.

"You are too greedy". Since I started my quest on finding "the tango", improving my musicality was at the top of my list. Being able to isolate and dance to the various beats and melody was at the top of my priority list. And I got better and better at it. What I did sort of lose sight of is that there is such a thing as too much "musicality". Tango music is complex, the beats and musicality offer countless options to move to, but I forgot I don't have to dance to ALL of them. I am too greedy, I want to dance to all nuances (that I can hear), which is often way too much.

It's funny too, I was talking with Deb that day before the class about some dances I had with some really good dancers at TdLM. I have no doubt they had a lot of fun when we were dancing, one just can't fake that, but at the end of the tanda they seemed exhausted (not physically of course). Now I know why.

So we worked on the quality of a step, the ways one can step, transfer weight (make it shorter, longer, delay it, etc), on how to use the upper body to communicate that to the partner.

It was time and money well spent. I just wished I did this sooner. Tomas is a great teacher and I would highly recommend him to anyone that wants to learn what is truly important about tango.

Guerilla milonga

2007-10-24T06:45:00.000-07:00

Since yesterday I had an itch to dance, but there was nothing going on in Boston, I decided to do something about it. Late afternoon I sent an email to all the people from Boston I have an email for, inviting them to a "Guerilla Milonga". That is a milonga that takes place in a public space (in this case the Porter Sq subway station) without permission. Subway stations are perfect for this as if you're getting kicked out, you just take the train to the next station and start again ... ;-)

I was there at 8:30 as I promised I would. Debbi was working late so I was alone. Good thing I had a book, as it was at least 9pm until one other person showed up. Unfortunately it was another leader. Then around 9:30 another leader showed up. Huh ... Part of the reason I wanted to do this in a public space was to expose people to real argentine tango and see if we can grow the community. Well, it seems like a catch 22 here, to expose people to tango you need some people to dance tango with ... All together, by 10:30 there were 7 of us, 3 followers and 4 leaders.

It was actually fun, we danced until midnight. No one bothered us, but I did notice something funny. People in Boston are socially awkward. They would pass by pretending they didn't see us, until they would be at a "safe" distance and that's when they would stop, turn around and look for a while. It's like they were ashamed they were looking. Next time I will bring a big sign that says "We're not selling anything. Please feel free to stop and look".

I'll try this again at some point. I'll try next time to give people more notice. If you are from Boston and you didn't get my invite yesterday, send me an email, I'll add you to my list. Which I will never make public.

One other thing about US and the east coast in particular is that people are workaholics. Quite a few replies to my invitation said things along the lines "I'm swamped at work". Huh? At 9PM? I miss home sometimes (that would be Romania). People can't wait to leave work. People go to work because they have no other option. Here people buy more stuff then they can afford then they have work 12 hours a day to pay for it. This is in my opinion the devastating effect of easy credit. Romania was a cash society. If you don't have the money, you can't buy it. Unfortunately that is changing. Along with McDonalds, the easy credit, financial trouble and obesity is finding it's way to that part of the world as well. Bummer.

Seasoned vs. "young & pretty"

2007-10-19T12:56:00.000-07:00

There were a few (rather bitter) remarks from some (presumably older) tangueras some time ago, about leaders who'd rather dance with the "young & pretty" women, even though they are less skilled then themselves. They of course attributed that to the male hormones.

That may be the reason in some cases, but from my experience, observations and discussions I've had with other men, it's not the reason in most cases. First, some of my favorite followers are women in their 40s and 50s and I would dance with them any time, no matter how pretty are the alternatives, but I just realized last night, when I go dancing, I will usually either dance with the really good dancers, or with the promising "beginners". In most cases, they are young (hence, pretty I guess). Why would I dance with a beginner over the more seasoned veteran dancer, who, while not great, is certainly better then the beginner?

Because in most cases, they are not good enough and they plateaued many years ago. Which means their dancing is unlikely to get any better, they are certainly not looking to improve, most never ask for feedback, most don't come to practicas. The "young & pretty" have a chance to become dancers I really enjoy dancing with, and by dancing with them I can help them progress in the "right" direction. They ask for feedback, they try to get better, they show up at practicas and they do get better.

A few cases in point.

There is a woman in the community, she is absolutely gorgeous. Young, beautiful, amazing figure, pleasant personality, yet if one pays close attention, very few of the good leaders are dancing with her and even the ones that do, they only do it rarely. Why? Because she has an awkward embrace, she almost never shows up for practicas, and even when she does, she never asks for feedback. As a result, I have not see her improve a bit in the six months or so I've known her.

There is another woman in the community, she just started 3 or 4 months ago. She shows up at nearly every practica, she asks for feedback, she tries to apply what is suggested and she is getting better every week. I have a feeling she will be a hit with the better dancers in Boston and everywhere else.

There is a woman in Montreal, she must be in her 50s, she is a great dancer and I can guarantee you she will dance as much as she wants to, with the best leaders, even if all the contenders in the Miss America pageant would flood the room.

So, if you see that you're being passed for the "young & pretty", chances are you are not as good as you think. You may be more skilled then them, but not skilled enough for the leaders you want to dance with, but since you're not getting any better, there is no incentive for them to dance with you. If you want to change that, go to practicas, go early, ask the better leaders for feedback, pick an area they point out and work at it. Most better leaders will go out of their way to help out someone that shows an interest in getting better.

There was another argument I heard "Some people who love to dance with me at some times, they just ignore me at other times". A good (and smart) dancer will do his or her best to create the appearance that he loves dancing with his/her partner, as that usually makes the partner dance at his/her best. That doesn't necessarily mean they love dancing with you, they just made sure they were trying to get the best experience they could. So once again, the solution for that is to get better.

Now, it's true, when everything else is equal, most people, men included, will go for the "pretty". I imagine most women would rather dance with the handsome dancer rather then the old, fat and bald one, if they are just as good dancers. You just have to become good enough that people love dancing with you or show that you are heading in that direction.

I am sorry if this will hurt some sensitivities, but I'm kind of getting tired of all the men bashing that's becoming so fashionable lately, so I figured it would be useful to hear another perspective.

Djing the Odd Tuesday Milonga

2007-10-17T06:22:00.000-07:00

My first milonga as a DJ was supposed to be tonight. So last night, when I went to the "Odd Tuesday Milonga" I took the laptop with me to work on some play lists. When I got there, Steve, the host, was fumbling with his laptop, looking kind of frustrated. It seems he was missing some music so I said, you know, I have my laptop with me if there is a problem with the music. He looked at me, said, "you want to do the music?", I said, "Uhh, sure". So there I was, 10 minutes away from the milonga start, with no play lists, no cortinas, on my first night as a DJ at a milonga. Sweet!

It's tough to say how did I do. Most people were dancing at all times, so I'll take that as a good sign, but aside from a couple of them, no one came to say if they were liking or disliking the music. I did ask K, who is Russian, and if you want a blunt response to a question, the best people to ask are Russians or East Europeans. He said it was OK, he didn't particularly like it or dislike it, but he liked the music I play at practicas better. Huh... I thought I did play sort of the same music. I did save my ad hoc build play list, so I'll look to see how it compares with the lists I made for practicas.

Tonight I'm DJing again and tomorrow I'm DJing the practica at MIT. That's a lot of DJing this week.

DJ debut ...

2007-10-16T09:46:00.000-07:00

Wednesday it will be my first time DJing a milonga. I've been Djing practicas for a while now, but this is the first milonga. I will DJ from the laptop, but I'm planning on loading a backup playlist on my mp3 player and burn it on three regular CDs, just in case things go terribly wrong with the technology ...

So, if you live in Boston, come check it out! If you like traditional music that is, there will be no alternative music at this milonga.