pillow talk with sinlady

Some table manners please?

2009-11-16T10:37:00.005+08:00

I am fully aware that table manners differ widely with cultures.

I accept using hands instead of utensils; slurping long strands of noodles; making smacking noises or letting out a loud burp to show contentment. But all in context.

Where dinner utensils are provided, I really think it should be de rigueur that they are used properly.

I have stared horrified at all manner of faux pas at dinner tables. It makes no difference whether it is an elaborate dinner prepared by michelin-starred chefs at michelin-starred restaurants or at more casual bistros and cafes.

I see the man in a suit across the table use his left hand fist-like to stab and pin down the food, use the knife in right hand to saw (back-forth, back-forth) then spear the still-bigger-than bite-size food with knife and bring food to mouth!

I see the perfectly coiffed and made-up woman in designer evening-wear pin down a piece of dinner roll with fork, saw the bread, stab the smaller half of bread, use knife to smear butter on it then proceeded to take bites at the bread from fork.

I see diners put their entire face to the plate to get mouth nearer to food.

And others who wave their knives in your face while talking to you with their mouths full.

I think some portion of corporate or government money spent on leadership training or public-speaking or how to close deals should be spent on how to eat in a civilised manner at dinner functions.

Some Stupid Sales Spiel

2009-11-13T18:37:00.003+08:00

GEMS (Go the Extra Mile for Service) was launched in 2005. Now the government will be pumping millions more dollars to launch phase 2 of the movement.

I am not totally convinced about a top-down approach to improving customer service. It is the front line personnel that the customer meets. Oftentimes, the sales person says the most stupid things just to get rid of the product or the customer, or preferably, both. Oftentimes, these sales people ought to be chopped into minced meat and fed to scavenging feral birds.

A recent episode involved one of the big names in comfort shoes. The sales rep happily suggested I try a pair one size smaller because "hor, your size no more stock". I shot him a withering look. (If looks could kill, oh he'd be struck down that very minute). I was really proud of my self-control; I walked out of the store with not another word said. Because, what I would have spat at him would have been, "You moron! You don't ask your customer who is looking at shoes costing upwards of $200 to stretch her shoes with her feet!" The irony that he is dealing with comfort shoes escapes him.

I studiously avoid clothes that are "free size". I am too tall and too big for these clothes to fit, but the sales person will tell me the item is "very stretchy" and it is the fashion now to wear "fitting clothes".

Then there was this fishwife of a sales woman hawking shawls and scarves at a department store. She actually managed to convince one woman to buy a scarf. Then she went on to berate (I exaggerate not) the customer that these are excellent buys and nobody but nobody buys just one. "Sure you regret if only buy one. Why not you buy for your friends? They are good presents for your friends" she shrilled at the woman. I think she lost the sale. At least I hope so.

I think front line sales personnel has to be made aware that service is customer-centric, not sales-centric. And the first step will be to train them to stop talking nonsense.

Mother and other people's money

2009-11-11T18:09:00.002+08:00

I refer to Mother's phone calls as crank calls because she carries on a monologue of inanities. If she is telling more dramatic news about ailing friends and relatives, then she delivers a soliloquy. I just have the phone next to my ear with my brain half shut down and my mouth shut tight.

But every so often, I have to voice my disagreement and then an exchange of unpleasant hurtful accusations would follow.

The latest is her telling of Father's incident of his thumb that got severely infected. Apparently it got so bad that doctors at two different clinics did not want to treat him, and he ended up going to the hospital for surgery and staying the night. It's been about two weeks now and he is still going to the hospital for dressing.

I suspect a lot of the episode is melodrama created by the two of them, but that is not the point of my unhappiness over Mother's latest phone call. What upset me was finding out that the couple of thousand dollars medical expense is being paid out of my brother's medisave account.

I could not help myself. I had to ask how they could see it fit to do such a thing?

Mother's blithe reply was that my brother has more money in his medisave account than he can ever use.

How can she know that? How can she think it's alright to touch any of my brother's money when all he has is savings from a job as an office courier?

Oh, I do not know how much my brother has, she retorts.

Sigh. I did not say anything more. I do not want to end up getting involved with any of the family matters.

But I am reminded all over again why I left the parents home the very first chance I could. I have never looked back.

If I had let the woman I call Mother to meddle, I could never have done anything with my life; I never could have gotten anywhere near my life's goals.

A French Conversation

2009-11-08T15:58:00.005+08:00

Mother's daughter-in-law calls me every couple of months. Conversation is always strained because she is trying to make polite conversation, and I am trying hard to not sound agitated.

I know she makes the calls because Mother says to do so. I would work at establishing some sort of relationship with her if I knew her calling me was of her own volition. As it stands, her continued willingness to be Mother's flunky makes it impossible for me to react with any graciousness towards her.

The recent call went something like this:

She: Jie Jie! I heard from Ma you just came back from vacation.

Me: Yes.

She: Where did you go?

Me: France ( 法國). I went to France (我去法國)

She: You enjoyed your holiday?

Me: Yes. Thank you.

She: What language they speak in France? (他們在法國講何種語言?)

Me: They speak French. (他們講法語).

She: Huh? What language is French? (什麼是法語?)

Me: French(法語). The language of the French people (法國人的語言).

She: Oh. And you speak French?

At that point, I had to get off the line before I say something I will regret.

I really wish she will stop calling me because Mother asked her to.

I really will be nice if she calls me because she wants to, not because Mother says to do so.

Julie Julia - the movie

2009-11-04T11:40:00.007+08:00

The movie Julie and Julia is one of those rare gems that is enjoyable at so many levels.

There is post-war Paris: the world may be reeling from the devastation of WWII, but in Paris, it is still a world of fabulous clothes, fine food and wine, cigarettes, architecture and scandals. There is present-day Queens NY: a world of over-worked citizens living out their over-crowded soul-less existence.

The movie tells the story of two women from two different generations who lead very different lives. The common thread is their love for cooking.

I am much more interested in the Meryl Streep-Julia Child-Paris parts of the movie; the Julie Powell-Amy Adams-Queens NY bits is just the vehicle to make Julia Child relevant today.

I enjoy cooking. I especially enjoy cooking for friends. But I am not of the Julia Child school that dictates that every dish and course must be a masterpiece, although I adore her motto i.e. "No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize". I maintain that I am not a restaurant; I do the best I can to the point when I can still enjoy having friends over for dinner.

Of the Julie Powell part of the movie, the one line that caught my attention was when she wailed "Julia hates me!" when told that Julia Child was not interested in her blog. What is the truth behind this seemingly uncharacteristic response from Julia Child? The answer lies here.

October

2009-11-01T09:32:00.003+08:00

was the month
- I got re-acquainted with people I drifted away from years ago. For the most part, I am very happy to have come full circle and be with people whom I've shared so much history. I am unsure about my feelings regarding a couple of them though.

- I realised that there is a direct correlation between insanity and intelligence. (Think Dr. Hannibal Lecter). What is chilling to me is that I finally understand and believe that the insane mind is many times more intelligent than the sane.

- I made the most hideous lemon meringue pie imaginable. All three parts of the pie - baked pie crust, lemon filling, and meringue - were inedible. And to think I used to be able to bake that pie practically with one hand tied behind my back! A sympathetic friend offered that humidity has to be accounted for. So what is it I was to do about that factor she did not offer. Sigh. Time to refresh basic pie making skills.

- I had two crank calls from Mother, and one crank call from her daughter-in-law. I actually managed to file the experience into the "no action required" compartment of my brain. It did not stop me from being agitated and irritated with the two of them for several days after though.

- It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas at the shopping malls. Soon Christmas carols will fill the air. Oh joy.

Coffee with an old friend

2009-10-29T18:32:00.009+08:00

We used to meet up with each other fairly regularly.

Then one day, I packed up and left the town I had called home for 14 years. Only a handful of the closest friends were aware of my imminent departure.

It took me 9 years back in Singapore before I started to think of the many people I walked away from with no word of farewell.

The recent visitor is one of them. I am glad we finally had the chance to meet up after 9 long years.

Over coffee and familiar desserts, we filled in the blanks for each other. So many changes, mostly for the good, and we are grateful. So many constants, some we wished could be different, but if that was not to be, we will live with them.

Later, as we said our goodbyes, we realised that we have found our destiny, and with it, our peace.

So till next we meet, I will treasure the memory of this special friendship that has survived time and distance.

And we shall meet again my friend.

Eating with Friends

2009-10-28T17:18:00.011+08:00

This girlfriend started her circle of eating friends - school friends, former colleagues, uni mates etc. - when she started work.

I joined her group on and off over the years. Of late, I have started to look for them more frequently.

After years of going my own way, sorting out my life, trying to make a connection with so many different people, I find myself drawn back to the familiar. I know their quirkiness and their sincerity. Over the years, I got to know every line on their faces - creases that came from years of sharing evenings of laughter with good friends.

The circle of eating buddies have lasted 30 years. And I know we will carry on for many many more years ahead.

Because, in the end, it is not about the eating at all. It is about getting together for an evening with good friends.

Thank you, girlfriend, for starting this group and thank you, group, for your active participation.

I have come back to take my place at helping to keep a good thing going.

Two nights of dance

2009-10-24T15:33:00.008+08:00

I am finally back into the swing of things. And very much looking forward to the two events coming up in November.

And as always, I admire the hard work and dedication that went into bringing these small local dance events to the public.

Date: 7 & 8 November (Saturday & Sunday)
More information here.

Date: 12 November (Thursday)
More information here.

How was your holiday?

2009-10-23T17:48:00.006+08:00

Seven posts in my blog since I got back from the most stupendous holiday in a long time.

Seven posts in which I waxed lyrical and eloquent about the places I went.

Seven posts in which I painstakingly put together collages to show the best of the vacation.

And the woman emails me : "Drop me a line to tell me how was your holiday."

I think I will do just that; the line will read:

I had a GREAT time !

Postcards from France

2009-10-19T10:59:00.007+08:00

It is one of the most enjoyable and memorable holidays in recent years.

Paris, Lyon, the French Riviera were just names I came across in books, films and travel programmes on cable. Now, when I actually walk those grounds, I walk with awe and delight in equal parts.

Paris

Paris is my favourite city of great cities. The sights and lights re-awaken the sense of old world grace and beauty often dulled by the demands of daily living in a compressed urban setting. Parisiens take time to unwind and enjoy the end of the workday with wine, food, music and friends.

Vieux Lyon

Vieux Lyon is the largest Renaissance district in Europe. The majestic medieval buildings, the quiet courtyards, the cobble-stoned walkways. Everywhere, everything about this town evokes the sense of historic pride and splendour that have survived the ravages of time and modernisation.

Monaco

Monaco - the traditional playground of the rich and famous. The Monte Carlo Casino - made famous in so many movies. The glitz and glamour is all there, even if somewhat frayed around the edges.

Cote d'Azur

Cote d'Azur has to be the jewel in the crown of France. Long reputed to be the Mediterranean resort of choice, this part of Southern France is an endless stretch of brilliant blue sea and sky. Homes nestled into the hills enjoy the view of spectacular sunsets, and come evening, the twinkling lights from the coastal cities below reminds one again that this has to be one of the most perfectly beautiful places in the world.

Home on the Range

2009-10-16T23:29:00.008+08:00

The highlight of our trip is staying with friends in their farm house in Roybon. (Where is Roybon?)

The location is truly remote. The nearest important towns - Vienne and Valance - are 50 kms away.

In true farm house fashion, the home comes complete with farm dogs and a wood-burning stove.
The family gets most of their fresh fruit and vegetables from their own backyard. Additional grocery supplies can be got from the farm truck that drives up to their front door twice a week.
And, finally, on the farm, day is done when the cows come home.

Where is Roybon?

2009-10-16T22:40:00.005+08:00

Town	Roybon
Insee code	38347
Postcode	38940
Latitude	45.2583140
Longitude	5.2415020
Altitude	From 436 to 729 meters
Surface	67.31 km²
Population	1278 inhabitants
Density	18 inhabitants/km²
Chief town	Grenoble (at 63 km, 50 mn)
Department	Isère
Region	Rhône-Alpes Source: http://www.france-voyage.com/en/

to market to market

2009-10-14T19:21:00.011+08:00

to market to market to buy a plum bun
home again home again market is done

Mother Goose

I love the festive excitement of outdoor markets, particularly the ones in small country towns. It is a treasure trove of the best of all things local - from farm-produce to mouth watering home-made jams, happy fresh-cut flowers of the season to quaint arts and crafts.

The Saturday market in the medieval renaissance town of Uzes is such a one. Except this one is huger than any I have ever been to. Set up in Place aux Herbes, it covers several blocks radiating in all directions, filling streets, vaulted archways and buildings.

After 3 hours of poking around hundreds of stalls, I found that I had barely covered a quarter of the marketplace. By then, it was 1 pm and the stalls were starting to pack up for the day.

Note to self : I will have an earlier start and not loiter in any one place for too long the next chance I have to return to this fascinating market.

The Food in France

2009-10-12T22:47:00.004+08:00

If I were asked to name one best thing I will remember forever about France, it will have to be her food.

From the traditional to nouveau, farmhouse to 2-star Michelin, I ate my way through Paris, the French Riveria and Provence. It is the ultimate gastronomical experience. - it is gourmet eating down to the last lick of frommage blanc avec miel.

Every meal was special, every bite was memorable.

Sacred Love

2009-10-12T14:16:00.006+08:00

I am not a religious person. The spiritual experience that is expected when one walks on hallowed grounds of significant places of worship eludes me.

But I am in awe of the sheer size and architectural beauty of the cathedrals I visited in France.

I think of the kings and lords who commissioned the works. I think of the architects who designed the structures. Above all, I keep thinking of the builders devoting their entire lives to building these monuments.

Today, centuries later, worshipers from around the world who continue to come attest to the power of faith. And the lasting strength of a love beyond all else - sacred love.

Notre-Dame Cathedral, Paris

Le Sacre Coeur, Paris

Basilique Notre-Dame de Fourviere, Lyon

Sidewalk Cafes of Paris

2009-10-10T18:00:00.001+08:00

There are many fun, cultural and exciting things to do in Paris. There are many institutions of pop, historical, religious or educational significance to visit. And of course, there is the shopping.

For me, the most Parisien thing to do is enjoy a cup of freshly brewed strongly aromatic coffee in one of the many, many sidewalk cafes with a good friend and spend an afternoon people-watching.

Le Bonaparte@Place Saint-Germain-des-Pres

September

2009-10-10T17:12:00.008+08:00

was the month
- of several get-togethers with the friends who will be our travel companions and guide through Provence.

- of checking the Paris-Lyon-Provence weather forecast daily so that we ended up packing, unpacking and repacking our luggage numerous times.

- of clearing the refrigerator of leftovers, and shutting down the home in stages.

- and finally, we were on our way to a long-awaited carefully-planned exciting vacation in a - to my mind - a truly foreign country: France.

Away

2009-09-18T21:09:00.006+08:00

I shall be away from blogging from now till October 10.

I wish my Muslim friends selamat aidilfitri.

I will be thinking of my dear friend as she breaks new ground in her professional life this weekend.

I will be thinking of the rest of you (from time to time).

A firm maybe date in Singapore

2009-09-15T22:15:00.009+08:00

T he lousy friend who went all silent on me when I broached the possibility of visiting her is in town for a week-long visit.

I told her first chance I could, when she called, that I would be here only the next 4 days of her stay. I would be leaving for Europe on the weekend.

Let's do lunch or something, she suggested. As soon as she got a few urgent business out of the way, she qualified. I said yes, let's, and to let me know when in the next 3 days. Alright, she said, and said her goodbye with let's play it by ear then. A rather redundant pronouncement, I thought.

I will put this aside as another firm maybe date. I will also put aside the very glaring omission on her part to mention the months of silence from when I wrote her about visiting.

I guess she took that as only a firm maybe arrangement.

I think I am beginning to get the hang of dealing with firm maybe's...

Pretty Lights

2009-09-14T10:51:00.008+08:00

We really were quite happy when we finally installed the mosque lights over our dining table.
But the friends kept referring to the centre piece as a disco ball. We have to agree the orb did not quite fit in with the pretty lights around it.

So, on our recent trip to Bali, we hunted down a Moroccan lamp to replace the odd ball.

It was the single shining moment of our trip. At least for once, the entire exercise followed expected custom when in Bali.

We were in a cab on our way to somewhere when we chanced upon the lamps and lights shop. We abandoned our original plan and settled for poking around the shop. We found the lights we wanted.

The vendor named his price. We counter-offered with our price. Back and forth. We settled on a happy compromise. The lights were carefully bubble-packed, and we went about our merry way.

So now, voila!
The impressive centre piece with four small matching mates surrounded by mosque lights.

When will they ever learn?

2009-09-12T14:13:00.010+08:00

Where have all the rooms gone?
We booked and paid for our accommodation online, with specific requirement that it be on the ground floor with its own terrace. We showed up at the property to be told the room we requested was not available. They would, however, upgrade us to a deluxe room on the second floor.

The man asked at the front desk three different times what the f*** happened to our reservation. He got three different answers from three different staff:
(a) your reservation never came to us, sir.
(b) your travel agent submitted your reservation late, sir.
(c) there was a computer error, sir.

The uninterested staff seemed to think that giving us a minimum upgrade should shut us up. Of course we were not one bit mollified. They never admitted they double-sold their rooms, and then they would tell any kind of lie to make the problem go away.

Where have all the butter gone?
I told myself I would sleep off the aggravation, and looked forward to the buffet breakfast. My needs were simple and straightforward. Coffee, and pancakes hot off the griddle, some maple syrup and butter, and I would be happy. I would not even gripe about the pretend bacon and breakfast sausages.

I got the coffee. I got to the pancake counter. I got the pancake guy to make me a short stack of pancakes. Poured the maple syrup. Went to the bread section for butter. The container for butter was empty! There was actually a some-kind-of-waiter-body standing at the the bread section, and he let the butter run out! So by the time the chain of command worked its way to the kitchen and back, I had cold pancakes made soggy by the syrup and my mood just got more foul.

Where have all the clothes gone?
Against our better judgement, we had made this 3-day 2-night trip for the Paul Ropp sale. We got their invitation to attend their sale preview and thought that we would have a nice time cherry picking through the inventory ahead of the sale crowd.

We were disappointed at the small selection put up at the preview. And then we were disgusted to find that a lot more different styles were made avaiable the next day, the first day of the 5-day sale event.

We did not do as much rummaging through the clothes stacks as we would have liked. We had a plane to catch. No, we could not bear the thought of staying an extra day/night to deal with the ineptitude that is endemic to that island.

When will they ever learn? When will we ever learn?

August

2009-09-01T17:30:00.006+08:00

was the month
- when travel plans finally started to fall in place.

- when we decided to we make a mini trip to Bali for the Paul Ropp sale.

- when we got together with friends to make concrete plans for travel to Paris-Lyon, then cover several towns in Provence.

- when Mother called me twice. Each time she dominated the entire phone conversation prattling on and on about what's happening in the lives of people I don't know.

- when my sister called to let me know she took the parents out to dinner and she never opened her mouth once the entire evening. And the parents never noticed.

- when the sister too has reached the end of her wits in trying to be a dutiful daughter trying to do the right thing with the cranky and crazy old people we call parents.

- when I got to see several friends who were visiting. Some of them I was so happy to see again; others I was not so thrilled but I did it out of a sense of obligation.

- when I was reminded all over again how important it is to have good people to count on and good friends to trust in times of need.

Lousy woman, lousy man

2009-08-30T17:54:00.006+08:00

A long, long time ago, this lousy woman fell in love with this lousy man.

They dedicated many years to keeping their relationship a secret from the public through lies and deceit.

Then they got married and he carried on with the lying and the deception while she carried on hiding.

Then, at the funeral of an old man, the lousy man finally admitted to the existence of the lousy woman in his life.

But they are not yet telling the world anything else, especially whether there are children in their lives.

Should I be optimistic and think that one day soon, they will live happily ever after like a normal married couple? Do I even care?

I really do not.

Back to Paul Ropp

2009-08-27T15:24:00.005+08:00

I look at the poster. The Paul Ropp vibrancy bekons. How did I find the will power to resist the last two sales in January and April this year.

I mean I am talking Paul Ropp here - the man who designs clothes for "people who want sensual freedom and movement or prefer to be naked".

I think it's time to revisit an old friend...