FullTimeMother

Gifted or Manmade

2009-10-21T22:17:00.000-07:00

Last two days, I had been sending and fetching my daughter and my neighbour's son to attend the second round of GEP( Gifted Education Program) selection exams. Her school happened to be one of exam centers. There were roughly 500 pupils attending the exam, which was a fiction of normal school attendance. But I witnessed the massive traffic jam which I have never experienced before.

The two way road outside school, a 500 meters stretch, both sides, were packed by cars belong to parents who were sending or fetching their children. At one stage, the road was total jam, unmovable. I certainly never see so many cars packed outside school in any ordinary school day, not even the first day of the school. It seemed to me these 500 pupils, if not all, mostly have at least one parent accompanying them to exam. The majority are from at least one "C" class.:) The usual five minutes drive from my home to school turned out to be one hour ordeal. The sight was not less spectacular than Emperor Exam in olden China. I could even sense the anxious and exciting mood of parents in the air.

My daughter, together with other may be thousands pupils, attended two days of English, Maths and general ability test. She is one of two students who have passed the first round of exam. But in my neighbour's son's (ACSJ) class, more than half of class passed the first round.

I was naturally delighted when I first heard her passed, yet, I reminded her gifted or not is not the most important matter in one's life.

It is remarkable when one child to be labeled as "gifted". But in Singapore, that line has been blurred by many men-made efforts.

One pupil who attends numerous tuition may score higher than those who don't. But it is arguable whether he/she is gifted or men made. It seems to matter more to parents than to children nowadays.

My ex neighbour's son was selected into GEP two years ago. He is the only child at home, and I know that since five years old, he has been having tuition.

After exams, I asked my daughter how was exam? She said "Hard, but fun."

She said, "I am happy if I pass, I am still happy if I don't"

Thankfulness

2009-10-12T17:03:00.000-07:00

Recently, we switched our fourth son, Stephen, from three-hour kindergarten to a full day childcare programme.He used to attend our church kindergarten in the morning. I found, since the baby was born, it difficult to keep him occupied in the afternoon, he did not take his usual nap in the afternoon and...being an active little boy who wants do a lot,while I was not all the time available, he ended up to be left alone, or into some mischiefs.

We thought about some other enrichment programmes, but with a five month old baby, I am loath to drive around, plus, my elder son will have PSLE next year, he needs a lot of help in studies.

So we chose the little village which is just around corner of our neighbourhood. The cost of school of course is very expensive, but we felt it was out of necessity. The government gives subsidy for all registered childcare program, however, the school administer told me that only working mothers entitle the full amount of S$300, while the non-working mothers only entitle half. (*working mother, by their definition, is those who work for pay more than 56 hour per month.)

As I mentioned in my early post, this is one of classic examples which some of relevant of policies need to be challenged.

the sheer definition of working mother;

the purpose of subsidy, to whom and for what;

the underline calling or factors affect mothers'choice;....

.....

Ironically, mothers work for pay surely have more disposable income to spend for this kind of high end childcare service, while others probably have no means to afford basic needs even they want to.

That reminds me of my suspended research topic. The very reason I took up this research was to help some full time mother and foster a more family friend envirnment in this land. Due to my fifth baby's birth, I have asked for one year break.

Even after one year, my baby will be only one year old, I have four other kids need me , I am wondering "should I first practice what I am preaching?"

.........
Fortunately, Stephen loves his new school, especially many activities based learning which is suitable for his personality.

I am thankful!

That is not simply number game

2009-09-29T20:43:00.000-07:00

From The Straits Time Forum Sept 29, 2009

Integration and immigration: Copying the US won't work

BASING our integration and immigration efforts on those of the United States, as Mr K. Kesavapany suggested last Saturday ('Integrating immigrants: Learn from American experience') may not help Singapore. Our experiences are different and based on contrasting paradigms.

Improvements to the demographic profile of the US are not due to its immigration policy but the result of some two centuries of nation building by prudent leaders who enjoyed the advantages of a large country with rich natural resources and a fundamentally strong industrial base buttressed by a critical mass of home-grown citizens.

The US does not suffer from the problem of economic migrants. Also, the comparatively small number who want to make America their home must assimilate, and not the other way round.

Singapore is different. In just 10 years, the population jumped a mind-boggling 25 per cent, to four million in 2000.

Here is the nub: The Singapore Department of Statistics in 2002 showed that in 2000, 63 per cent of all ethnic Singaporean groups aged 35 to 44 years attained only secondary level education. Can these groups compete with well-educated foreign migrants for high-paying jobs created by sophisticated multinationals? Are we creating a poverty trap for low-income Singaporeans?

My understanding of Mr Ngiam Tong Dow's commentary last Thursday ('Lest we become strangers in our own land') is that he wants to remind our population planners to rethink an immigration scheme precisely because Singaporeans face unequal competition from a massive influx of economic immigrants.

In large developed countries with solid home-grown global industrial bases like the US, economic migrants are insignificant and their function is to boost the American economy.

They cannot influence America's social system radically.

Can Singapore's economic model - based on global trade and foreign multinationals - continue to retain the brightest and the best to call this country home?

With 6.5 million people, can we integrate more than three million new citizens over one or two generations successfully through an open, meritocratic system that will not fundamentally affect Singapore's social fabric?

If we fail to integrate our new citizens, the mistake will be irreversible and we will become strangers in our own land.

Paul Chan

This letter is a good one.The population is one of core issues in Singapore policy making. What worries Singapore government is that native Singaporeans are not making enough babies, the immigration policy acts like second best remedy.

However, it is not simply number game. If not mindful,the tiny country like Singapore will be soon floored by the well educated immigrants, and I don't see why is not possible, the less clever and capable native Singaporeans to serve the "foreign Bosses"

Abdication of parents

2009-09-22T18:49:00.000-07:00

Parenting is never an easy job.

But I believe it is more difficult in our modern society. Why do I say so? There are just too many competing interests for many parents. One of biggest woe that industrialization and globalization economy has done towards families is to take the fathers away from home, further more, to take the mothers away from home.

I read with interest Ms Charlotte Mason’s “Parents and Children” one of six of her educational series, in which she searched with deep insights what are parents’ duty,

“The rule of parents cannot be deputed. The king may rule by deputy; but, here we see the exigeant nature of the parent’s function; he can have no deputy. Helpers he may have, but the moment he makes over his functions and authority to another, the rights of parenthood belong to that other, and not to him. Who does not know of the heart-burnings that arise when Anglo-Indian parents come home, to find their children’s affections given to others, their duty owing to others; and they, the parents, sources of pleasure like the godmother of the fairy tale, but having no authority over their children? And all this, nobody’s fault, for the guardians at home have done their best t keep the children loyal to the parents abroad.

Causes which lead to the abdication of parents.—Here is indicate a rock upon which the heads of families sometimes make shipwreck. They regard parental authority as inherent in them, a property which may lie dormant, but is not to be separated from the state of parenthood. They may allow their children from infancy upwards to do what is right in their own eyes; and then, Lear turns and makes his plaint to the winds, and cries-

‘sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is
To have a thankless child!’

But Lear has been all the time divesting himself of the honor and authority that belong to him, and giving his rights to his children. Here he tells us why; the biting anguish is the ‘thankless’ child. He has been laying himself out for the thanks of his children. That they should think him a fond father has been more to him than the duty he owes them; and in proportion as he omits his duty are they oblivious of theirs. Possibly the unregulated love of approbation in devoted parents has more share in the undoing of families than any other single cause.

The love of ease, the love of favour, the claims of other work, are only some of the cause lead to a result disastrous to society- the abdication of parents. When we come to consider the nature and uses of the parent’s authority, we shall see that such abdication is as immoral as it is mischievous. Mean time, it is well worth while to notice that the causes which leads parents to resign the position of domestic rulers are resolvable into one- the office is too troublesome, too laborious. The temptation which assails parents is the same which has led many a crowned head to seek ease in the cloister, even if it be the natural crown of parenthood.”

Great Singapore Sales

2009-07-03T02:29:00.001-07:00

Sales are ON! The ads fly around. But people DO love Free stuff!

We went to IKEA this morning for FREE preview sales breakfast, this is part of privilege of being Friend of IKEA. However, we did not get breakfast, not because we were n late, there were simply too many people (Just like us)!

The IKEA store was stormed by people. A very lively sight in the midst of recession. Many people did push the trolley full of stuff. Good for IKEA.

That reminds me an economic truth "There is no free lunch under the sun."

Cheers, happy shopping

Pride

2009-03-23T19:57:00.000-07:00

(adapted from sermon by Charles Spurgeon)

(This sermon was taken from The New Park Street Pulpit and was preached on Sunday evening, July 15, 1877)

Before destruction the heart of man is haughty, and before honor is humility ( Proverb 18:12)

What is Pride ?

Pride is a groundless thing. It stands on the sand. Worse than that, it puts its foot on the billows which yield beneath its tread. Worse still, it stands on bubbles, which soon must burst beneath its feet. Of all things pride has the worst foothold. It has no solid rock on earth whereon to place itself. We have reasons for almost everything, but we have no reason for pride.

Pride is a thing that should be unnatural to us, for we have nothing to be proud of. What is there in man of which he should glory? Our very creation is enough to humble us. What are we but creatures of today? Our frailty should be sufficient to lay us low, for we should be gone tomorrow. Our ignorance should tend to keep pride from our lips. What are we, but like the wild donkey’s colt which knows nothing? And our sins ought effectually to stop our mouths and lay us in the dust. Of all things in the world, pride toward God is that which has the very least excuse. It has neither stick nor stone whereon to build. Yet like the spider, it carries its own web in its bowels and can, of itself, spin that wherewith to catch its prey. It seems to stand upon itself for it has nothing beside whereon it can rest.

Pride is a brainless thing. It brings no profit with it. There is no wisdom in self-exaltation. Other vices have some excuse, for men seem to gain by them. Avarice, pleasure, lust, have some plea, but the man who is proud sells his soul cheaply. He opens wide the floodgates of his heart to let men see how deep is the flood within his soul. Then suddenly it flows out and all it gone—and all is nothing for one puff of empty wind, one word of sweet applause. The soul is gone and not a drop is left. In almost every other sin, we gather up the ashes when the fire is gone but here, what is left? The covetous man has his shining gold, but what has the proud man? He has less than he would have had without his pride and is no gainer whatever. Oh! Man, if you were as mighty as Gabriel and had all his holiness, still you should be an arrant fool to be proud, for pride would sink you from your angel station to the rank of devils, and bring you from the place where Lucifer, son of the morning, once dwelt, to take up your abode with hideous fiends in perdition.

Pride exalts its head and seeks to honor itself, but it is of all things most despised. It sought to plan crowns upon its brow, and so it has done. But its head was hot, and it put an ice crown there, and it melted all away. Poor pride has decked itself out finely sometimes. It has put on its most gaudy apparel and said to others, “How brilliant I appear!” But, ah! pride, like a harlequin, dressed in your bright colours, you are all the more fool for that. You are but a gazing stock for fools less foolish than yourself. You have no crown as you think you have, nothing solid and real, all is empty and vain. If you, O man, desire shame, be proud.

Pride is the maddest thing that can exist. It feeds upon its own vitals. It will take away its own life, that with its blood it may make a purple for its shoulders. It saps and undermines its own house that it may build its pinnacles a little higher, and then the whole structure tumbles down. Nothing proves men so mad as pride. For this they have given up rest, ease, and repose to find rank and power among men. For this they have dared to risk their hope of salvation—to leave the gentle yoke of Jesus, and go toiling wearily along the way of life—into the more of fell despair. Oh! Man, hate pride, flee from it, abhor it, let it not dwell with you. If you want to have a madman in your heart, embrace pride, for you shall never find one madder than he.

Pride is a protean thing. It changes it shape. It is all form in the world. You may find it in any fashion you may choose. You may see it in the beggar’s rags as well as in the rich man’s garment. It dwells with the rich and with the poor. The man without a shoe to his foot may be as proud as if he were riding in a chariot. Pride can be found in every rank of society—among all classes of men. Sometimes it is an Arminian and talks about the power of creature. Then it turns Calvinist and boasts of its fancied security—forgetful of the Maker who alone can keep our faith alive. Pride can profess any form of religion. It may be a Quaker and wear no collar to its coat. It may be a Churchman and worship God in splendid cathedrals. It may be a Dissenter and go to the common meeting house. It is one of the most Catholic things in the world. It attends all kinds of chapels and churches. Go where you will, you will see pride. It comes up with us to the house of God. It goes with us to our houses. It is found on the mart and the exchange, in the streets and everywhere.

Pride has ten thousand shapes. It is not always that stiff and starched gentleman that you picture. It is a vile, creeping, insinuating thing that will twist itself like a serpent into our heart. It will talk humility, and prate about being dust and ashes. I have known men talk about their corruption most marvelously, pretending to be all humility, while at the same time they were the proudest wretches that could be found this side the gulf of separation. Oh, my friends, you cannot tell how many shapes pride will assume. Look sharp about you and your will be deceived by it, and when you think you are entertaining angels, you will find you have been receiving devils unawares.

The seat of pride is the heart. The true throne of pride everywhere is the heart of man. If we desire by God’s grace to put down pride, the only way is to begin with the heart. We should not proceed to arrange our dress by adopting some special costume, or to quality our language by using an outlandish tongue. But let us seek of God that He would purify our hearts from pride, and then assuredly if pride is purged from the heart, our life also shall be humble. Make the tree good, and then the fruits shall be good. Make the fountain pure, the stream shall be sweet. Oh! That God might grant us all, by His grace, that our hearts my be kept with diligence, so that pride may never enter there lest we be haughty in our hearts and find that afterwards comes wrath.

The consequence of pride is destruction, a fact which we can prove by hundreds of instances in Scriptures and in history. We men have become proud, destruction has come upon them. Perhaps the most magnificent which has ever yet been built was the city of Babylonian, in which there walks one who, lifting up his mortal head on high as if he were more than mortal men, exclaims, “See ye this great Babylon that I have built?” Oh, pride marks the mighty builder of Babylon creeping on the earth. Like oxen he is devouring grass. His nails have grown like birds’ claws, his hair like eagles’ feathers, and his heart has gone from him. Pride did all that, that it might be fulfilled which God has written, “Before destruction the heart of men is haughty.”

Pride is most likely to meet with destruction because it is too tall to walk upright. It is most likely to tumble down, because it is always looking upward in its ambition, and never looks to its feet. There only needs to be a pitfall in the way, or even a stone, and down it goes. It is sure to tumble because it is never contented with being where it is. It is always seeking to be climbing, and boys that will climb must expect to fall. Pride is foolhardy, and will venture upon scaling any rock. Pride, when most successful, stands in slippery place. Who would choose to dwell on a pinnacle of the temple? That is where pride has built its house, and verily it seems but natural that pride should down if pride will up.

Reading report from The Straits Time March 23, 2009 “Grad expectations not so great now”, I recall some conversation with some final year students last semester. I wish this article will give them some insight in time like this.

你怎样看自己？

2009-03-22T03:42:00.001-07:00

How You View Yourself

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Parents nightmare- 12 year old boy becomes father

2009-02-16T17:29:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I read report from The Straits Time that a 12 year old British boy has become a father with his 13 year old girlfriend. I must say that is a parents' nightmare.

The evil is really working hard to grip young people. I feel sorry for this pair young couple, for they may not even fully comprehend what parenting means to them. I feel ever more sorry for their parents, will they regret? heartfelt pain?

Singapore media also reported there is an increasing of sex activities among teenagers, the number of teenager pregnancy has increased 45% from 2007. Some of these young kids involve sex activities simple because of peer pressure "everyone else is doing it" or proving love "If not he may dump me"

It is really a perilous time! "Flee youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart." I am fearful for for my children. I pray that God will help me to watch over them, to deliver them from evil, to guide them in the way of righteous.

To our children

2009-02-08T19:00:00.000-08:00

Paul in 2Timothy wrote to Timothy, his spirit son, "I thank God...for thee....Wherefore I put thee in remembrance that thou stir up the gift of God, which is in thee by the putting on of my hands, For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (2 Tim 1:3-7)

God has presented a perfect way for us, parents, to deal with our children. Often time, I found myself overwhelming by the loaded tasks related to children rearing, I lost my patience, I demanded too much, nagging and shouting... But God shows us in above passage how we should motivate our children into HIS good works.

Not by nagging, threatening, stirring up fear or guilt, but by loving, reminding the God's gift in each and every child He has given to us and confirming them by putting our hands in them.

That is both a human oriented and task oriented approach.

Paul first gave thank for his spiritual son. How often do we give thanks for our children? and told them so? It is not enough to show our thankfulness to our children, more importantly, to God and let our this thankfulness known to our children. Even when there were time of difficulty, our thanks giving will lift us up from self-centerness, self-pitiness. When we fix our eyes on God, we may see beyond the temporary situation but God's eternal plan.

Paul then recognised that every spiritual gift is given by God. Every one has the gift of God, talents of all kinds. It is however parents' duty to confirm and give encouragement. We, parents, are to stir up the gift of God in our children. In order to do so, we have to attentive observe and patiently nurture a child's own path of development, not to be pushy, not to be neglect to every development of our children.

Finally, we have God's promise that God has given us the spirit of a sound mind, of love, and power. The sound mind is for us to exercise self control; the love is for us to extend to others with tender communication and patience; the power is for us to prevail in those difficult time.

Truly, our children are the gifts from God, and HE does care each and every one of them. "Be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord,...who has saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace.". Even though we are not perfect, God has his own purpose and grace to assist us in this holy calling of being a parent.

May God help us!

Wife Work ---Full Time Mother re-thinking

2008-11-10T17:01:00.000-08:00

It has been a long time not to update this blog. Yes, many things happened, especially, I discovered the unexpected expecting of our fifth baby two months ago, followed by almost two months "morning sickness", now I finally get back to "Normality".

Have to admit that life is full of unexpectedness, "HE(God) hath made every thing beautiful in his time, also he hast set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end." (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

I was a bit upset when the news of this new baby came, cos I thought we had finished our family and I can do something else, maybe, "greater or better". But,man proposes, but God disposes. Now I surrender myself unto the hand of my creator, HIS plan is far above mine and HIS will is always best.

Just last week, I attended a focus group discussion initiated by National Family Council (NFC). It is encouraging to know that our government has the political will and means to support families in Singapore, especially in current economic downture. One of highlighted areas for NFC to work on is to uphold family values. The attendants made many insightful suggestions on how NFC and other government agency can promote such values even to our children.

Family, as the basic societal unit, has under attacked by many liberal ideologies. Some have challenged the traditional functions of family and its value system ; some have suggested alternative lifestyle. Sociologists, I am afraid to say, had played an important part in justifying some of those claims. It will not an easy battle.

Women' role has changed dramatically in recent years. The author of "Wifework" made the following observation:

"A generation ago, the man was going out to work, for pay, and the wife was staying at home for free. In those days, nobody, not even sociologists, had a problem with that. It may have been a drastic division of labour, but it was also a coherent and rational one, with boundaries high enough to trip over. Equally importantly, both parties to the agreement gave it their full consent- often, admittedly, because there are no alternatives....But it had at least the virtue of balance, of stability.
Like all enduring family systems, the homemaker Mum- breadwinner Dad model was built on a foundation of intense mutual dependency.

By the mid-twentieth century, having a full-time wife at home- someone who would in a sense live life for the two of them- made it possible for a may to be 'married' to his job. And only a man who was 'married' to his job could afford to have a full-time wife at home.

At one level, acquiring a wife was for a man a form of conspicuous consumption, a marker of his elevated economic status. As recently as forty years ago, the 'no wife of mine is going to go out to work' mentality reigned supreme in our cultural consciousness, if not precisely in our economic reality. A wife who worked for pay may have been an economic asset. But far more importantly, she was a social and psychological liability- a direct hit not on a husband's status in the community but on his very identity as a man."

Wow, this was also an unexpectedness for me, as I mentioned early, at the beginning of starting this blog, my intention was to encourage "Full Time mothers with knowledge and understanding". Now I must admit my lacking of sociological understanding of "Full Time Mothers" as result of many societal changes in our contemporary world.

Yet, I hold the belief that God's word will not change. "...young women to love their husband, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home...."(Titus 2:5). I wish, if possible from sociological point of view, to explore Full Time Mothers' advantage and benefits to their family as well as to society. God's willing!

Righteousness Exalts a Nation

2008-08-06T02:28:00.000-07:00

In just a few days time, Singapore is going to celebrate her 43 birthday. Our church calls for prayer for our nation. Once more we are reminded "Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people (Proverbs 14:34)

Looking back long road of human history, we see heroes after heroes, kingdoms after kingdoms, from Babylonia to Media and Persian Empire; from Greek to Roman Empire, till very recent the British Empire. There was saying "The sun never set down at British Empire" because of its vast colonized nations around world. But today the global leadership has shifted hands away from the British to American and EU. How long will America keep its leadership position? the recent sub- prime credit crunch already left us much doubts to it.

What we see is that no matter how stronger they were, all the kingdoms had risen and fallen, there is not a single kingdom has last. Why?

Daniel 4:25 gives us a clue "The most High ruleth in the kingdom of men, and give it to whomsoever he will"

What causes the kingdom to fall? Sin

We see it clearly in the city of Sodom and Gomorrah, "because their sin is very grievous"(Genesis 18:20) and "Abraham got up early in the morning to the place where he stood before the Lord, and he looked toward Sodom and Gomorrah, and toward all the land of the plain, beheld, and lo, the smoke of the country went up as the smoke of a furnace." Some people guess that Sodom and Gomorrah lie in the bottom of Dead Sea.

Another example was the city of Nineveh. Jonah was sent to proclaim God's judgement, at that time, all the people from old to young were repented, the Lord did not destroy the city, not some 100 years later, the people of Nineveh returned to their sinful ways, and this time, there was no way to return.

So sin is the reproach to the people, but righteousness exalts a nation.

During the ruling of Queen Victoria, the England had reached its peak of economic, cultural, and political development, which had brought the British Empire the most glorious time.

Queen Victoria was a godly woman. It was no doubt that the moral strength was the foundation of the rising of the British Empire.

What about Singapore? what had Singapore transformed from a little fishing village to a metropolitan and a hub of world economic and financial center?

It was moral strength under the government of MM Lee Kuan Yew that was elevated on righteousness. In the early days of Singapore, the Lee Kuan Yew government stressed on moral development, on educational system, free corruption and drug, and harsh punishment to crimes etc.

We thank God that because of righteousness, Singapore is what Singapore today.

However, we should not be complacent, uphold moral standard is the key for our nation's development, sustaining and survival. We pray that our government will be always mindful "Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is the reproach unto people."

The most wanted "C"

2008-07-19T02:03:00.001-07:00

Singaporeans have been pursuing "C"s for decades. Certificates, Career, Cash, Car, Condominium and Country Club....Not until recently, the most wanted "C", as far as for the government concerns, is "Children". Ironically, as much wanted as it might be, few Singaporeans share the same conviction with the government. children are simply not at the top "to do" list for many Singaporean.

Recently, MM Lee suggested whether the Sweden family policy should be implemented here. Today published an article by a mother of two, Ms Chrispina Robert, who is rather skeptical of effectiveness of such policy in Singapore, she argued that the culture perspective for perfection and social structure here make the child/or family pro policy rather ineffective. It would take at least 30 years of cultural rebuilding for family environment flourishing.

She shared that as a mother of two young children, it was impossible for her to serve two masters, she ended up to quit. While fathers' life is not least easier, the perpetual high demands and globalized intensive competition drive them working harder and harder, leaving less and less time and energy for home, it is just not healthy for family life.

I share her conviction on being a Full Time mother, but, I dare say that it is not that difficult to have more children than what she thinks.

To have children or not, is truly matter of choice and faith. If you have a will, there will be a way.

I know many couples who have more than four children and above living on one income. Their family life is certainly not extravagant but comfortable. Their children are capable to do many domestic chores, most important, they learn that to be happy and content with little they have and choose to forge the lasting relationship which money cannot buy.

Children are too investment, not only material, but spiritual.

One reaps what he sows. The collective cultural changes need inspired and determined individuals, persons like you and me. For the children's sake, Full Time Mothers say "We can."

Breakfast with ladies

2008-07-18T03:00:00.000-07:00

Finally, we have to say goodbye to our home of eight years Horizon Tower.

Last week, we moved to our new house, oh, how tired I was.

My old neighbor Jenny called me one morning "come, I have asked Amy along, let go for a nice breakfast."

"I can't, I have so much to do."

"That is why you need a break."
...

I agreed, partly because I was too tired to do any more, partly because I had not seen her for some time.

So, three of us went ahead to American Club for some "fabulous" breakfast, and some ladies "gossip". We found a quiet corner to sit down.

"You are lucky to find replacement unit so fast." Jenny said to me.

"You know, the other day I went to UE square, not even 1800sqf, asking for 2.5million."

"crazy, crazy."

"You know, Orchard Scotes 6 millions, 99 years some more."

"Why should I pay so much for 99 years?!" Amy said indignantly.

"But we have to look for place to stay waaa."

"Wait la, the price is coming down."

"It is unbelievable that last year's price could be so high. Now, at least 30% lower."

"The worse is not over."

"Have you tried YongAnn Park?"
...

"What about you? Amy?" I asked.

"I brought Panda Vally 2006. worse case, we move there la."

"2006 price was still low."

"Ya la, I paid 1.1million."

"a bargain!"

"But, Horizon Tower is a pity. so painful to see such a building will be teared down."
.....

"Stock market is so scary, Ah ya, we really don't know what to do."

"Interest rate is just 1.6%, leaving money in bank is useless too."

"all the prices go up, oil, food, and..."

"Ah ya, don't talk so much about troubles, let us eat."

"Let's eat!"

Put your priority right!

2008-07-05T23:56:00.000-07:00

Our life is busy;
The mother's life is busier;
The mother with young children is even busier;
And, the mother with young children and aspiration, will be even much busier.

Well, I am not apologetically regarding myself as the last category, so I am entitled to be very busy indeed!.

Lately, my attention was very much attracted by Chinese events, the Olympic torch, and the Sichuan earthquake. I joined several forums in Chinese websites, offered my words of comforts and encouragements. I found myself busying on computer ever more.

One day, as I wrote to one of web friends to give her my advice:

"Web is not real world, one can find some useful information or even encouragement and aspiration, but it should never become the central of your life...."

I was awaken by my own word!

Put your priority right, especially when you have a busy schedule:

For me, my days should have-

Time with God
Time with my husband
Time with my children
Time to exercise, outdoor, to enjoy fresh air and nature
Time to read, and mediate;
Time to talk to my friends, neighbour and strangers
Time to on Internet....

You see, if we do not set our priority right, our life will be mixed up.

This is reminder for me, hope that so does to you!

Why SIA is the best airline in the world?

2008-06-26T21:28:00.000-07:00

Few has questioned the Best Airline in the world is Singapore Airline, but ever fewer know why. I had met with my friend Vincent, who told me a story that made me understand one of reasons behind.

Vincent is the cabin supervisor. On one of flights from Singapore to London last year, shortly after taking off, they discovered the flight entertaining system was down. Despite of one and hours effort, the on flight machinist was unable to repair it, thus suggested to stop over at India. That would mean the delay of flight and potentially the airline would have paid millions of compensation to passengers on board.

Vincent came up with a "crazy" idea. He made an announcement as following:

"We have a surprise news for you, a good and bad one. The bad news is our Krisworld system is dead. We know you are very disappointed. But the good news is that, we are going to have "Poetry Competition",

You can pour out how unhappy and disappointed you are, but must in poetic form. The winners will be awarded surprised prizes, which are worthy of your effects."

Such ingenious idea is probably the first time in airline history, and the first "Poetry Competition" in the air.

The passengers were too overwhelmed by this idea to be unhappy, as they soon emerged themselves into "creative complaining".

The stewardesses were busy among the seats, handing over the paper and pens and, soon collecting the poems.

The cabin crew instantly became "judges of competition," Needless to say, not by their ability to appreciate poetry, but the creativeness.

The finals emerged finally whose poems were read aloud and were received many rounds of applause. The winners were rewarded by the first class wine, duty free goods and souvenirs. My friend had to "risk" his boundary of duty to allow these "prizes", but comparing otherwise thousands, if not millions, compensation, and delaying of flight, that was much saving for SIA. Most important, the passengers were surprisingly pleased.

A number of them wrote to newspaper and media to describe this flight as "one of best flight" they ever had.

My friend was awarded the "Best creative flight supervisor" in the year.

A difficulty was turned around to be an enjoyable journey, all because of Human Capital of SIA.

If you are thinking of buying SIA shares, I would suggest you to hurry u[.

True Beauty of A Women

2008-06-24T16:09:00.000-07:00

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Earthquake in South East Asia- in 30 years

2008-06-23T16:20:00.000-07:00

Singapore is most likely to be affected. After the devastating earthquake in Sichuan, it is chilly to hear this news:

"Business Times - 23 Jun 2008

Big regional quake likely within 30 years

S'pore almost sure to be affected, says top earth scientist

By LEE U-WEN

(SINGAPORE) A top earth scientist predicts that an earthquake measuring 8.8 or 8.9 on the Richter scale is likely to strike South-east Asia within the next 30 years - and will almost certainly cause tremors that would affect the region, including Singapore.

This is the view of Professor Kerry Sieh, founding director of the new Earth Observatory of Singapore (EOS) at Nanyang Technological University, who expressed concern that too many Singaporeans have the impression that the Republic is 'disaster-safe'.

'There's no such thing as a country that is perfectly safe. The chances of Singapore being affected by another major earthquake nearby is better than 50 per cent. We are only an arm's length away, so we've got to start planning as if we could be affected by an earthquake or tsunami,' the 57-year-old told BT in an interview.

Last year, when two earthquakes jolted the Indonesian island of Sumatra, hundreds of buildings in Singapore shook as a result of the ensuing tremors.

Prof Sieh, who will formally begin work full-time at EOS next month, is busy wrapping up a 30-year stint as a geologist at the California Institute of Technology in the US.

The EOS will focus on natural disasters in the region, including tsunamis, volcanic eruptions, earthquakes and climate change studies.

While forecasting a natural disaster is one thing, convincing the man-in-the- street to take these warnings seriously is a whole different ball game, according to Prof Sieh. 'You tell people that something is happening in 30 years' time. But many, especially those in the villages in China, simply cannot relate.

'To them, their only concern is putting food on the table, or worrying about what's going to happen tomorrow. Frankly, 30 years is not a long time as far as the earth is concerned. It's still within our lifetime,' he said.

The key to reaching out to the general population, he said, lies in education. He added that he has already mapped out plans to work with the Ministry of Education here to roll out a comprehensive learning package for students about how the earth functions.

'I believe that every child should have a basic, fundamental knowledge about how the planet works, why we feel tremors and how to react to them, what is the impact of climate change, and so on,' he said.

His vision is to see every primary and secondary school, junior college and polytechnic have in place such a programme as part of their curriculum for the younger generation to 'learn about life'.

To reach out to a wider audience, he said that it was likely the EOS would produce documentaries and films that could be used to educate Singapore and the region about natural disasters.

Although the EOS will mark its official opening only next January, Prof Sieh hopes to have a sizeable number of world-class faculty on board by then. Recruitment has already begun - the target is to have 20 faculty, 70 graduate students and post-doctoral fellows, and support staff in the next five years.

Even as most of the new staff are likely to be foreigners, the best way for South-east Asia to benefit in the long run is to have a steady pool of trained local earth scientists who can do good research for the region.

'It's not going to be difficult to bring the top people here. Singapore is a country that sells itself, really. The salaries are competitive and the government is highly supportive of building a solid research environment,' he said.

Copyright © 2007 Singapore Press Holdings Ltd. All rights reserved."

I spoke one of civil engineer days after Sichuan earthquake, "are the buildings in Singapore are quake proof?"

She replied "No" but she said the buildings are much well designed and strictly abiding building standard, had the earthquake stick Singapore, it would fare better than Sichuan.

30 years, we all will be grey generations, the pain and suffers will laid upon on our children.

Matthew 24 :6-8

"(At the end of days) And ye shall hear of wars and rumors of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.

For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilence, and earthquake in diverse place.All these are the beginning of sorrow...."

We humbly pray for God's mercy and deliverance to our children and our children's children. Our hope is in the Lord.

Children are Children!

2008-06-19T00:15:00.001-07:00

US university honour anti-feminist icon Mrs Schalfly

2008-05-19T17:50:00.000-07:00

(The Straits Times May 19, 2008)A top US university, Washington University in St Louis, Missouri, honoured 83-year-old Phyllis Schalfly, a mother of six children, who heads one of the most successful anti-feminist organisations in the United States.

She founded it in 1972 as she mobilised thousands of people in a successfuly campaign to defeat the Equal Rights Amendment, which was meant to guarantee equal rights under the law for Americans, regardless of sex.

She argued that it would deny a woman's right to be supported by her husband and "lead to women being drafted by the military and to public unisex bathrooms."

She continues to write columns and deliver lectures on college campuses, setting off controversy with her open call for legal distinctions between the rights of men and women.

Last year, she called for a ban on women holding the positions of firefighter, solider and construction worker and argued that a woman cannot claim to have been raped by her husband.

"By getting married, the woman has consented to sex, and I don't think you can call it rape." She said.

She has described sex education classes as "in home sales parties for abortions."

Among her critics is feminist Gloria Steinem, who has commented on the irony in Mrs Schlafly's championing of the full-time mother and wife while she is herself a lawyers, an editor of a monthly newsletter and a political activist.

The campus honor to her has triggers uproar in the university. Mrs Schlafly brushed off the protests.

She said :"I am just sorry for those who tried to rain on a happy day."

"If they were really for achievement of women, they would be admiring what I've been able to achieve."

Pray for China

2008-05-19T01:07:00.001-07:00

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Singapore's mum would be paid higher than their US counterparts

2008-05-12T19:36:00.000-07:00

Source: May 11, 2008 "The Straits Time"

Mum, you could be paid $23k a month

HR experts estimate economic worth of stay-at-home mums, but others say it's not right to fix dollar value

By Shuli Sudderuddin

"Here's a number - $22,568 a month - that's bound to make any mother's day today.

That is what a top human-resource practitioner calculates as the worth of a stay-at-home mum in Singapore.

Mr David Ang, executive director of the Singapore Human Resource Institute, picked five roles she plays daily, from executive housekeeper to chef and driver.

Assuming she works 17 hours a day, she would make $22,568 a month at the market rate for such jobs.

On top of this, he counted a 13th month bonus, leading to a princely $293,384 a year.

The Sunday Times had asked him to figure out a Singaporean mum's worth, in the light of a study done in the United States which estimated that a full-time mother could earn up to US$117,000 (S$160,000) a year.

The US study was conducted by Salary.com, a firm which studies workplace compensation. The US$117,000 sum is based on a mother doing 10 jobs, from housekeeper to psychologist and chief executive.

Another HR practitioner here, Mr Gene Yap, a human capital consultant with Aon Consulting, estimated that a Singapore mum's work is worth $8,481 a month.

This is based on spending 30 per cent of her time on marketing and housekeeping, 40 per cent on supervising children's activities like a teacher, and 5 per cent as a family motivator.

Both the Singaporean calculations factored in rest days, like the rest of the country's working population.

Whether it's $23,000 or $8,000, mothers were amused when told of the results.

'I don't think housewives would get that much money. Not all mothers cook or teach their children daily,' said Madam Kee Chooi Hua, 34, a housewife with three children.

Said housewife Sandy Lim, 53, who also has three children: 'Who will want to pay a housekeeper $23,000 a month? I enjoy my work and I don't do it for money.'

Some working mothers like Mrs Maria Loh, 41, a financial planner, feel the figure is justified. 'If you add all the duties a mother performs, the figure is accurate. And if she works and has to forgo work opportunities, then even more cost is incurred.'

But mothers' roles are too important to be quantified, said several women MPs.

'A mother's job is priceless if done well,' said Ms Denise Phua, 48, an MP for Jalan Besar GRC and mother of two.

'There is no cookie-cutter price or standard solution; mothers must know how they can add value to their children's lives.

'I'm best at preparing my children for the future and being a friend to them. Things I'm not so good at, like cooking, I outsource,' she said with a laugh.

Madam Halimah Yacob, 53, an MP for Jurong GRC and mother of five, felt it was impossible 'to put a monetary value to what mothers do. It is far beyond $200,000'.

Ms Jean Yip, 48, founder of the Jean Yip hair-salon group and parent of three, agreed: 'Mothers take care of both the emotional and physical needs of husbands and children. That's why Mother's Day is always more celebrated than Father's Day.'

Ms Laurrieta Alaabons, 37, director of LAMC Productions which promotes concerts and a mother of one, said: 'I think to give a dollar value to a mother is nonsense. A mother is a jack-of-all-trades and you cannot put her responsibility down in dollars and cents.'

Ms Constance Singam, 70, chairman of the Association of Women for Action and Research, said the value of a mother's work is underrated.

'The trouble with society now is that women, who often do housework that can't be valued in economic terms, don't get the appreciation they deserve.'

Even those in the HR field agree.

Said Mr Ang: 'We can estimate how much the jobs might pay, but mothers are also involved in deep emotional bonds and life lessons which will stay with their children all their lives. Now, who can put a dollar value to that?'"

....................................................................................

Wow!, wouldn't be nice if the mums really be paid as this much? I am sure more mums would want to stay at home. However, our society is likely to pay lip-services to these mums who choose to be stay at home. I guess their salary will be paid by the husbands.(Thanks hubby!)

On one hand, we hear that the government asks for "citizen procreation duty", on the other hand, "A personal choice ma" we heard the government says,"can't be help".

When facing increasing cost of living and extra-intensive family burden, there are nothing our government can help you "stay at home mums".

The Joys of Motherhood

2008-05-11T00:44:00.000-07:00

-Margaret K. Fraser-

Dear Christian mothers, sing your praise
Through all your busy, happy days
To God our Father, kind and good
For all the joys of motherhood.

For that wee babe with smiling charm
That softly nestles in your arm
For childish laughter gay and sweet,
And sounds of little scampering feet.

For that young precious merry mite
Who walks with hand in yours held tight;
And for the others older grown
Who've learned to proudly walk alone.

For the blessings often mixed with tears
As they mature through passing years;
And that deep joy that naught can dim,
When children give their hearts to Him.

Fear not the coming day to face,
For God will give you strength and grace-
And hers shall be a great reward
Who trains her children for the Lord.

Birth Rate is up, but not enough?

2008-05-09T01:25:00.001-07:00

Source: The Straits Times

May 6, 2008
Birth rate up, but foreigners still needed to build core of citizens

By Zakir Hussain

SINGAPORE's birth rate crept up slightly to 1.29 last year, up from 1.26 the year before, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong revealed on Tuesday.

The birth rate hit a record low of 1.24 in 2004.

'I just looked at the numbers. They were 1.24. We made a big effort, we came to 1.26. And last year, we have reached the fabulous number of 1.29,' he said.

I don't think that is "fabulous" but rather to show the ineffectiveness of government population policy in increasing of the birth rate

Singapore can try to do better, but the birth rate will never go back up to the replacement level of 2.1 because of the way society has changed, he added.

'The social trends have gone too far this way, and it's the behaviour in all of the developed countries,' he said at a dialogue organised by Thomson Reuters on Tuesday.

Newsweek correspondent Sonia Kolesnikov-Jessop had asked how the Government planned to integrate an anticipated large inflow of foreigners.

Mr Lee replied that the Government believed Singapore had to be open to foreigners because it needed to draw on a range of talent and expertise, just like the thriving financial centres of New York and London.

That is a new game now!

The "pay" for Stay at home moms

2008-05-09T01:16:00.000-07:00

Sources: The Straits Times

May 9, 2008
Market value of stay-at-home mum is $160,114: study

BOSTON - IF a stay-at-home mum could be compensated in cash rather than personal satisfaction and unconditional love, she'd earn S$160,114 a year.

That's according to a study released on Thursday by Salary.com, a Waltham, Massachusetts-based firm that studies workplace compensation.

The eighth annual survey calculated a mum's market value by studying pay levels for 10 job titles with duties that a typical mum performs, ranging from housekeeper and day care center teacher to van driver, psychologist and chief executive officer.

This year, the annual salary for a stay-at-home mum would be S$160,114, while a working mum who also juggles an outside job would get S$93,700 for her motherly duties.

One stay-at-home mum said the six-figure salary sounds a little low.

'I think a lot of people think we sit ... home and have a lot of fun and don't do a lot of work,' said Samantha Russell, who left her job as pastry chef to raise two boys, ages 2 and 4. 'But they should try cleaning their house with little kids running around and messing it up right after them.' The biggest driver of a mum's theoretical salary is the amount of overtime pay she'd receive for working more than 40 hours a week.

The 18,000 mums surveyed about their typical week reported working 94.4 hours - meaning they'd be spending more than half their working hours on overtime.

Working mums reported an average 54.6 hour 'mum work week' besides the hours they spent at paying jobs.

Mrs Russell agreed her job as a stay-at-home mum is more than full-time. But she said her 'job' brings intangible benefits she wouldn't enjoy in the workplace.

'The rewards aren't monetary, but it's a reward knowing that they're safe and happy,' Mrs Russell said of her sons. 'It's worth it all.' -- AP

Copyright © 2007 Singapore Press Holdings.

Why do the governments intervene sexual and reproductive behaviours?

2008-05-06T01:33:00.000-07:00

....(con't) Beyond Choice by Alexander Sanger

The governments throughout history have enacted laws and policies attempting to promote marriage, to restrict sexual activity to marriage for purposes of procreation, and in general to promote public morality. In addition to laws against contraception and abortion, there have been laws prohibiting adultery, fornication, rape, non-procreative sex, homosexuality and incest.

Why should governments intervene in some sexual and reproductive behaviors and decisions and not others?

Many societies now and in the past have believed that a large and growing population was necessary to attain their national objectives, in military, political, economic and social aspects. Today some societies believe that, on the contrary, a large and growing population will prevent them from attaining whatever their national goals might be. Citizens don’t necessarily cooperate with their nation’s demographic plans.

Though reproductive choices and decisions are personal, too often nations fear, sometime quite correctly, that individual sexual and reproductive behaviors in the aggregate can threaten the biological, social, economic, and political order. For these reason governments often do not leave sexual and reproductive matter entirely to the discretion of their individual citizens.

There is not always a clear line of cause and effect between a particular sexual practice or reproductive decision on the one hand and its ramification to the public on the other. Nonetheless, governments often intervene extensively into the sexual and reproductive lives of their citizens with only a hazy understanding of the actual biological or social consequences of their laws.

The governments do have legitimate interest in the sexual and reproductive lives of their citizens because governments were established in part to help their people survive and reproductive safely and successfully. While some nations encourage childbearing, others view excessive population growth as a threat to national economic growth and stability.

Most extreme cases are such as China’s “one child national policy” and in Romania, banning both contraception and abortion in 1980s.

In China, family planning and national policy effectively reduced population growth, however, was not without unintended consequences, such as female infanticides, in-balance sex ratio, health hazards exposed to couples and problems in elderly care and related social welfare.

In Romania, banning contraception and abortion did in the short run effectively increased childbearing but left with more women suffered from illegal abortion and demands with childcare.

The coercion measures in controlling population often have brought damaging consequences at the expense of women and children.