Karin's Ramblings

The World of Online Dating

2009-07-14T20:11:00.001-07:00

Given my limited opportunities to mingle with members of the opposite sex, I've been making fores into the world of online dating. It's all very troubling for a woman whose total dating experience consists of one ill fated date in high school (details not for public consumption). Since high school, I've met partners while living life and things have just clicked. Until recently that is.

Now I'm middle aged and it's harder to meet men in the normal course of my day. I won't date anyone I work with, I have a very limited social life so I don't get out much these days, and all the men I have crushes on don't know about my feelings - and sometimes I don't know. Some of them I've had crushes on for 10 years (through other relationships) so at this point, I'm not sure if I'm just used to having a crush on them or if I still really feel attracted.

I don't know how to flirt anymore and I'm not sure what the hell I'm doing and my once upon a time awesome body ain't what it used to be. If any of you out there have landed at this point in your life and you want to share war stories, I'm all ears.

The Gathering is Upon Us Once Again

2009-06-13T08:24:00.001-07:00

The Rainbow Gathering is in full seed camp mode with all the rumors, panics, joy and excitement that brings. I have a blog dedicated to this year's gathering and since most of my thoughts are with the gathering just now, that's where I'm blogging. If you're into gatherings or just curious, come on over to my New Mexico Gathering Blog.

Sonia Sotomayor and Mission Bay Park

2009-05-29T06:52:00.000-07:00

At first glance, most people won't see a connection between the current debate about the role of ethnicity and gender in Obama's selection for his first Supreme Court nominee, but when I walk in Mission Bay Park I think about race, culture and the changing times quite a bit due to the cross-section of San Diegans enjoying time along the bay.

The east side of Mission Bay Park is packed with picnickers at this time of year. Small picnics - a couple or parents with their kids. But there are also large picnics to celebrate birthdays and weddings, anniversaries and holidays. No doubt some of the picnics are just an occasion for friends and family to spend some time in Mission Bay Park, eat, visit, let the kids play, and just wile away the day with cool ocean breezes.

There seems to be two types of large picnics when it comes to race and/or ethnicity. All white picnics. Or picnics with some combination of Hispanics, African-Americans, Filipinos, Caucasians, etc. and a bunch of multi-ethnic children running around. The former is much fewer in numbers than the latter these days.

Which brings me to the charge that Ms. Sotomayor's rulings will be shaded by her ethnicity. Of course it will. And by her gender. And by her life experiences. When a white male is nominated for the Supreme Court, why don't people worry that his gender, ethnicity and socio-economic class will shade his rulings. I don't believe any human lives completely outside their experiences and let's be real here: gender, ethnicity and socio-economic class create your lived experiences.

I think the words "ethnicity" and "gender" are code for the fear that if privileged white Americans no longer control the Supreme Court, the interests of the wealthy will no longer take precedence over the issues of all Americans. This opinion is probably justified, but I'm ready for a Supreme Court that represents the variety of lived experiences, ethnic backgrounds and genders that make up the USA. I live for the day when a transvestite is nominated to the Supreme Court.

As to lived experiences, if the myth of America is that everyone has a chance if they work hard enough, then let's start rewarding those who started life with few advantages and excelled in spite of the obstacles instead of the sons and daughters of the wealthy who were given everything that Ms. Sotomayor worked her ass off to achieve.

This is the American dream.

Earth Fair is Tomorrow

2009-04-18T09:26:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the big Earth Fair in San Diego's Balboa Park. San Diego's Earth Fair bills itself as "The world's largest annual environmental fair and Earth Day Celebration – produced by volunteers." It's free and fun. Environmental booths, music, a kid's parade, and the unofficial mondo drum circle. This year, I'm working a booth for the Rose Creek Watershed Alliance, of which my local community group, the Friends of Rose Creek is a part. I'll be there all day long, so stop by and visit if you like. We'll be on the east end of El Prado in front of the SD Railroad Museum.

If you've never been and you're nearby come on down and celebrate Earth Month with us!

Friendship Park - Silent Vigil on April 15

2009-04-13T08:48:00.001-07:00

Friendship Park is in the northwestern corner of Mexico and the southwestern corner of the USA. It's been a place where people from both countries could get together and picnic, talk, see family they have no other way of seeing, and connect the two sides of the San Diego/Tijuana metropolis - one ecosystem, one community, one city with a wall down the middle.

The federal government has a total lack of understanding of the hardships a community faces with a wall in the middle of it.

This week President Obama will sit down to visit with President Felipe Calderon in Mexico. At the same time, the Department of Homeland Security is shutting down Friendship Park, where people from San Diego and Tijuana have visited with friends for generations. In solidarity with those being denied access to this historic venue, and in protest of DHS decision-making , which has excluded all community voices, friends of Friendship Park invite you to join a Silent Vigil on the day before the presidential meeting.

Where: Border Patrol Headquarters
2411 Boswell Rd
Chula Vista, CA 91914

When: Wednesday, April 15th, 12 noon
Friends of Friendship Park will arrive early and stay late –
join us on your lunch hour!

What to bring: Silence!
Wear white clothes. Please also bring Mexican candies as
gifts for Border Patrol.

For more information on Friendship Park and what it means to those of us in this part of the world, visit http://www.friendshippark.org.
If you can't be there on April 15, visit the website and send a message that now more than ever we need to maintain community and communications between countries.

Fixing a Scene

2009-03-29T09:51:00.001-07:00

Today I'm working on fixing some kludgy places in chapter 16 of my novel. On the wall above my bed I have written out the logic of motivation reaction units (MRU). Every time something is clunky or not flowing properly, I try to re-write it using an MRU and most of the time, the scene starts to flow "naturally." If you're a writer, this is a killer craft tip. Read more at MRU online.

McCarthyism Redux

2009-03-05T07:19:00.000-08:00

Communist threat = war on terrorism. Will we never learn?

Dying from Alcoholism

2009-03-01T09:46:00.000-08:00

In this year's season of dying, I just lost another friend. The mother of my first long term committed relationship significant other, passion of my youth. His mother, like my father, died from alcoholism. Too many people dying from alcoholism, yet I take it as a given. I grew up in a world where grownups drank a lot. I don't think that at the time, they considered it to much. It just was. These days we consider drinking yourself into the grave a tragedy - and one that should be prevented if possible. But then again, my father drank himself into the grave at 76. He was basically healthy until a couple of months before he died and then he went quickly - a blessing for him and his family.

Most of the people I know who have problems with alcohol have problems with the world. They are lonely or don't fit in or are stressed by the de-humanization of life in the USA. Some of them suffered destruction of the world they thought they were going to lead due to war. Some of them broke ground in changing the world and weren't able to live with the changes.

As a child of an alcoholic I'm supposed to have issues but I can't tell, because I don't think I've ever had a friend who wasn't the child of an alcoholic.

In the end we all die. I may have been hanging out with the waiting to die set far too long, but going quickly is the key. Of course a sudden heart attack while gardening or walking in the woods is best, but even the swift death of liver failure isn't bad. At least it's only a couple of months, not a couple of decades.

Shirin - thanks for everything.

The Deaths Are Piling Up

2009-02-22T08:58:00.000-08:00

My friend Sailor passed away on Thursday. I had known him since 1994 or 1995. My best early memory of him was at a regional gathering we did in Imperial County around that time. I was committed to creating an alcohol free front gate. My van and my boyfriend's truck were at right angles with a tarp strung between. This was the front gate shade space.

Sailor came over to sit with us and he brought a beer. Now what you have to understand is that the Sailor I know hates drunken energy at front gate, but he had to be a rabble rouser and push my buttons. Since he and my boyfriend had been friends for a long time at that point, we all got into a bit. I don't remember if Sailor got rid of the beer or not. That's the Sailor I knew. Full of contradictions, always wanting to be a contrarian, but his heart was in the right place. Hey Sailor - keep up the good work.

Bob Nanninga was not a friend so much as a fixture in local politics. He was the gay, green, revolutionary voice of opposition in white new age Encinitas. I met him briefly once or twice at meetings in the way it happens when you're talking to someone else and that person says "by the way do you know...". Since Bob's reputation preceded him, I felt on firm ground saying, "I know of you." What's not being said is that he died of pneumonia (code word for AIDS I'm guessing as who else dies of pneumonia in their 40s). Remember to use a condom folks. AIDS isn't going anywhere.

For more insight into what San Diego will be missing, read Logan Jenkins' column or The Coast News' Obituary.

A Season For Dying

2009-02-15T08:47:00.000-08:00

The deaths are piling up like used tires. First Cyndi's dad, than the grandfather Grant had been living with for years in Sacramento, keeping an eye on G-Paw as we called him. My friend Sailor is dying as I type this and sending good thoughts to him and Catherine. But today's post is about Jay Hays.

I met Jay in the 1990s at Oh My God Hot Springs in Southern California. East of the San Diego mountains and west of the Salton Sea. Oh My God was a free place to camp, soak, or just be. My first trip out there was for a regional rainbow gathering in the early 90s. Jay is a Vietnam Veteran who used to travel around in a school bus with a couple of Rhodesian Ridgebacks and play drums. He is a drummer's drummer. Jay started college in the early 1960s but then went off to Vietnam and came back broken like so many men I have known. He tried to use alcohol to fix himself for a whole lot of years.

A few years after I met him, when I was seeing one of his best friends, he called me from the VA hospital in San Diego where he had checked himself into the drug and alcohol rehab program. That point really marked the beginning of our friendship. From there he went to the old Veterans Village on PCH and stuck with sobriety.

Over the next 7 or 8 years, he went back to college - community college. Then on to San Diego State University where he majored in Counseling with an emphasis on drug and alcohol addiction. He did a combination BA and MA program despite a few health related setbacks that slowed down his progress. The years of hard living etched in his body.

It was February or March of his last semester of school that his body collapsed and he ended up back at the VA. The doctors wanted to do operations and try to fix him, but Jay wanted to graduate. He wanted his MA in Counseling before he died and so once he was stabilized, he went back and finished up that last semester.

He invited his friends to graduation and being the oldest student in his graduating program, somehow wrangled a lot of tickets. When I showed up I ran into people I vaguely recognized from those days at Oh My God Hot Springs. Once they introduced themselves, I laughed and said, "I didn't recognized you with your clothes on." That was our running joke and was repeated time and again as more old friends show up.

It took Jay forty years to graduate, but he did it and I'm so proud of him. All my attempts at going to grad school are inspired by Jay. I too started going to community college a long time ago (1976 or 1977). I went to college on and off until the year 2000 when I received my BA from UCSD but that doesn't compare to Jay's track record. He was the one who made me realize that it's never too late.

His mission for the last few years of his life was to help as many people as he could.

After Jay graduate a few years ago, he was hired by an Indian Tribe in Rainbow Arizona to run a drug and alcohol rehab clinic. I haven't seen Jay since he moved, but we've talked on the phone, email and written each other. About a year ago, his health problems returned with a vengeance. His liver began shutting down. He was able to get on the list for a liver transplant and died on the operating table on January 28 of this year. Jay knew his days were numbered for years.

Jay we're going to miss you. A mutual friend was with him at the end and Jay was worried that his comrades in this battle against using alcohol to fix brokenness were going to backslide and he didn't want that. So if you're out there, please call a friend, go to a meeting, or plant a tree. It's what Jay would have wanted.

The Dreaded Questions

2009-02-06T20:12:00.000-08:00

There are two questions that ruin my day:
1) How are you?
2) How is your mother?

Most days I try to stay focused on the moment and work on my to do list. I think about my goals and hope that if I keep working towards them, someday I will be in a place I feel good about. As long as I stay in this space, I'm OK even happy at times. But then that space is blown by one of the two dreaded questions.

When I get question #1, I have two choices. Just lie and say I'm good (and that doesn't come natural). Or tell people I haven't slept in ten years, had sex in way too long (and that sounds whiny). I have like two friends in the county who I see a couple of times a year and spend the rest of my life in front of a computer or with a woman who can't talk. I never have any privacy but I never have anyone to talk to either. I work 14 hours a day six days a week and 8 on Sundays. I'm fat, out of shape and have a skin problem on part of my left foot that is driving me crazy.

When I get question #2, I feel like it's a slap in the face. When I finally get out of caregiving or computers and spend time with a friend or acquaintance, I don't want to even remember that my mother exists. And how should she be? She's severely disabled but healthy as a horse. When she dies, everyone will know because I will have a life again and friends and maybe even a lover. She can't talk, go to the bathroom or make a phone call. She doesn't know how to roll around in her wheelchair, so she's basically a brain trapped inside a body. This is how she was in the year 2000 and 2005. This is how she is today. Disabilities don't get better, so please stop asking.

Least you think I'm off the deep end, I do recognize that in polite society asking how people they are is the polite thing to do. Yet when others do it to me, I feel that the asker lacks even the most basic understanding what caring for a person with this level of need entails and how their questions make me feel. (Like crying in case you care)

January Mold

2009-01-31T18:35:00.001-08:00

Am I the only person who suddenly notices mold in the corners come January? The corner behind my desk starts growing mold in January. The wall behind my mom's bed. The window sill in the living room behind the couch. I swear it's not there in December. But suddenly one day in January every year I notice spots of mold. It seems to surface about the time I'm getting worn out by the cold and never being home when the sun is shinning. It's a long six weeks of cold weather we get in San Diego that keep the windows closed and the heater running.

I can't get to spring until I rid the corners of mold. Not that it's a big job, but fitting it into an overworked schedule is tough. It bumps the project to clean out the kitchen cabinets and has side tracked my filing job.

I long to be done with January mold and have my arms in the soil planting brocolli.

I Don't Deserve This Moment

2009-01-19T18:41:00.000-08:00

My entire life has been lived in the world of cultural change. As a child, I experienced the changes unfolding in the world and as an adult I've tried to move the change forward a few inches. Yet today, on the birthday of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and the eve of the inauguration of our first African American, Black, Negro president, Barack Obama, I feel like I'm reaching the top of the mountain and I truly don't feel I deserve the celebration or the joy I am feeling.

Not that I haven't been harmed by racism and inequality, because I have, because we all have. Not that I haven't tried to help others understand why racism is wrong, because I have, because so many of us have. But I haven't been beaten, arrested, denied a job or prevented from being with the one I love because of the color of my skin (or my sexual orientation for that matter). Listening to our American heroes from the big like Congressman John Lewis to the 90+ year old set of African American civil rights foot soldiers talk about what this day means, makes me feel like an impostor, like I haven't suffered enough to enjoy the celebration.

And yet.... Tuesday morning I'll be watching it live on television and, no doubt, I'll be crying like a baby.

Be the change you which to see in this world.

It's Official, I'm Crazy

2009-01-17T09:23:00.000-08:00

I'm applying to a Ph.D. Program in Myth and Mythological Studies with an emphasis in Depth Psychology at Pacifica Graduate Institute. If I am accepted, I have the privilege of spending three years taking classes and two years writing a dissertation. I already have two full times jobs so I ought to have my head examined.

I'm attempting this because I want to write stories that help humanity progress in a conscious way and that illuminate the great works done by all the heros I know that are saving the planet or teaching peace or feeding people or growing organic food. I'm lucky that way, I know a lot of heros.

Since when is public dissent terrorism?

2009-01-13T06:30:00.000-08:00

For those of you who somehow missed this, in the weeks leading up to the Republican National Convention in Minneapolis last summer, people were planning to engage in peaceful assembly outside the convention center. Now I don't pretend to know all the stunts that were planned - stunts designed to draw attention to issues and causes, but if someone tries to tell me any of these people were planning on doing anything more than clog a street or two, I'd say go see your shrink.

To make a long story short, there were a lot of meetings where people discussed how they could make their voice heard in the media circus that is a political convention. Before the convention even started, eight of the organizers were arrested and charged with a host of crimes that could result in more than ten years in prision including conspiracy to riot in the 2nd degree in furtherance of terrorism, a felony which is the first ever use of Minnesota’s PATRIOT Act.

Since when is a convention more important than the constituction? Luce Guillen-Givins, Max Specktor, Nathanael Secor, Eryn Trimmer, Monica Bicking, Erik Oseland, Robert Czernik and Garrett Fitzgerald need your support.

If you are in the area on Sunday January 25th, please attend the
Defend The RNC8! Town Hall Meeting from 3 PM to 6 PM at Walker Church: 3104 16th Ave S. Minneapolis.

If you can't make the meeting, sign the petition to dismiss all the charges. What happens here is critical to the rights of all Americans to engage in civil disobedience, peaceful assembly and public dissent.

Featured Speakers on January 25 include:
*Coleen Rowley--Retired FBI agent, TIME Magazine's 2002 Person of the Year
*Phyllis Kahn--MN State Representative (DFL-59B)
*Peter Rachleff--Professor of History, Macalester College
*Michelle Gross--President, Communities United Against Police Brutality
*Meredith Aby--Anti-War Committee
*Mordecai Specktor--Publisher of American Jewish World, Father of Max Specktor

Speakers will be followed by small-group sessions and participatory discussion, with a focus on action! The event is free and open to the public. Snacks and child care will be available.

How much does the US Government spend on us?

2008-12-31T18:40:00.000-08:00

By "Us" I mean the Rainbow Gathering. People often ask how much the US Government spends on the Rainbow gathering. From time to time when the feds really piss me off, I FOIA information. For those not in the know, FOIA - Freedom of Information Act, allows you to request copies of government information. Most branches of the federal government have a FOIA officer tasked with providing information. For a general overview on how to file your own request, visit this website.

Well this year in Wyoming, the feds pissed me off big time. So I made a couple of FOIA requests. I had meant to do more, but seemed to have run out of time. At any rate, the information I received is available on my website for your information and use in whatever legal battles you may be fighting. Both documents are large PDFs, so make sure you have the bandwidth to download them. Please download and distribute as you see fit.

Wyoming Court Costs - this only includes the special court the feds so thoughtfully set up for us in Farson and is by no means all the costs involved in trying cases arising from the gathering.

USFS Totals Expenses by Year

Enjoy!

Feeding the People

2008-12-28T20:43:00.000-08:00

I have some friends who do this very cool thing called Everybody's Kitchen. Basically they travel around the country in a school bus feeding people. From homeless people in Los Angeles, to cross-border activists on the Mexican border, they share food. Right now they are in the Louisiana Bayou feeding people. To find out what they're doing and how people are living, watch the video.

Hey Floppy and crew, in case I haven't said it before, you are my heroes.

Toll Road Killed

2008-12-18T13:30:00.000-08:00

From today's Los Angeles Times.

U.S. Commerce Department rejects Foothill South toll road
By Susannah Rosenblatt
10:33 AM PST, December 18, 2008

The controversial Foothill South toll road, proposed to connect south Orange County with north San Diego County, was handed a major blow this morning when the U.S. Commerce Department announced it would uphold the state Coastal Commission's rejection of the plan.

Thank you Southern California. We came together and said no toll roads through our parks and sacred places. Job well done. A huge shout out to Surfrider for all their hard work.

Barack Obama's Lack of Vision

2008-12-18T07:47:00.000-08:00

I was as thrilled as the next person that the citizens of the United States of America finally elected a president who wasn't a white male. I was also thrilled we didn't elect the "old guy" and the "prom queen,", but really Mr. Obama, what's up with supporting big agriculture after all your talk about main street? Main street is organic food. Main street is small family farms. Main street is having local sources of food and maintain food security not putting more profits into the hands of big agri-business. It's not continuing the rush to patent the very food we eat. It's not expanding the level of genetically modified food eaten by our children when we don't understand the consequences.
Take a stand today.

Thankfully I am a member of the Organic Consumers Association (OCA) and we are taking a stand against agri-business as the future of America's farms. Join us in taking in telling Mr. Obama know that big business as usual isn't change. Putting corporate profits over family farms isn't change.

Just say no Vilsack!

This in from the OCA:

Despite a massive public outcry, including over 20,000 emails from the Organic Consumers Association, President-Elect Obama has chosen former Iowa Governor Tom Vilsack to be the next Secretary of Agriculture.

While Vilsack has promoted respectable policies with respect to restraining livestock monopolies, his overall record is one of aiding and abetting Concentrated Animal Feeding Operations (CAFOs) or factory farms and promoting genetically engineered crops and animal cloning. Equally troubling is Vilsack's support for unsustainable industrial ethanol production, which has already caused global corn and grain prices to skyrocket, literally taking food off the table for a billion people in the developing world.

The Organic Consumers Association is calling on organic consumers and all concerned citizens to join our call to action and block Vilsack's confirmation as the next Secretary of Agriculture. Please help us reach our goal of 100,000 petition signatures against Vilsack' nomination. Sign today! Your email will be sent to your Senators and the President-Elect's office.

Sign the petition!

The Novel - Round Seven

2008-12-14T11:34:00.001-08:00

Today, I'm getting organized for the seventh draft of my novel, Falling From The Moon. Yes the one that was supposedly finished in June. Thanks to my friends, I received some wonderful feedback on the novel and this last round will incorporate most of the suggestions I received from friends and a couple of agents who read the first chapter and a synopsis at the La Jolla Writers Conference in November.

The main change is that the first chapters, which all happen in 1990, are now going to be in strict chronological order. I've spent the morning reworking my meta text and renumbering chapters. My goal is to finish this draft by year end meaning I have my work cut out for me. That's a chapter a day for the rest of the month. 75% of the work is incorporating the line edits and a few minor bloops into my electronic version. The remaining 25% is fixing transitions due to the chapter order being tossed upside down.

I have the best friends in the entire world. I know you all have very busy lives and I am honored you made the time to help me get to round seven. Thanks to Carletta, Cyndi, Jennifer, Karen, Debby, and Debby's neighbor who I've never met. You rock!

Ethnicity and Culture

2008-12-13T15:16:00.000-08:00

Today was the annual House of Sweden Christmas party. My mother being Swedish and a long time member, she goes every year and I take her since she can't go alone. It's sad as no one visits much with my mother because she is aphasic and can't find the words to express her thoughts (but that's an aside).

As a child, I was dragged to all sorts of functions, taught to dance traditional Swedish folk dances and sing in Swedish. I even sang on television once as part of group of Swedish Christmas song singers. Imagine twenty girls and three boys, ages six to eighteen, walking single file through a dark room wearing white robes and tinsel in their hair. All carrying lit candles.

Most people would think a group of people involved with the House of Sweden would be primarily Swedish or at least of Swedish ancestry. My heritage is mixed. My mother was born in Sweden; my father in Estonia. But there wasn't a House of Estonia and I grew up more in touch with my mother's culture than my fathers. There were other kids of mixed heritage back in those days. Lots of Swedish Americans of course, but Mexican Americans and even if I remember correctly a young girl who was of Chinese descent. More recently, a Japanese American woman wrote the monthly newsletter and the Lucia pageant, while still mostly blondes, included a very dark skinned young woman of Indian (the continent) or African ethnic descent.

I wonder if Sweden has a House of America and if its members include Swedish Arabs or people of Pacific Islands descent?

Day Without a Gay & Money

2008-12-10T12:30:00.000-08:00

I'm at work today feeling guilty because I didn't call in "gay." It's not because I don't believe in it, but I have a bunch of projects going that have to be done this week and I've no other time to do them.

I wimped out. I admit it. Some of the money I make today will go to support the gay marriage movement.

Meanwhile, many people have written about the importance of recognizing the value of the GLBTQ community in our society and the impacts of a consumer boycott. That being said, the best thing I can add to the discussion is my rap on spending money.

Money is very powerful when used wisely. Every day I work hard for my money and every day I try as best I can to spend it in ways that create the world the way I want it to exist. The world I want treats everyone as equals, protects all people in the workplace, treats this planet as if it's our most valuable resource (it is), and stands up for equal rights and social justice.

99% of my grocery money is spent at People's Co-op in Ocean Beach. Fair trade, locally grown, non-GMO labels, cooperative. If they sell it, I have faith that the cows have time to play in the pasture, the earth was respected and the people paid a just wage in their communities if the product is marked as fair trade. They sell three types of bananas: Organic, Organic Fair Trade, and Commercial (what I call chemical bananas). I buy Organic Fair Trade whenever possible and support farming cooperatives in Central America. These farmers deserve what most Americans demand for themselves but fail to consider for other peoples.

I take most of my other dollars to local stores that share my values. It's easy really. I rarely shop at chains, I support my local businesses, I ask where my products came from and how were the workers treated.

Before the November election, I looked up business donors to No on Prop 8 and emailed them a thank you, letting them know I would support their business for their courage in doing the right thing. Money is speech that forces other people to walk the way you want them to. Use it wisely.

John Lennon Blue Plaid Memories

2008-12-08T09:46:00.000-08:00

Twenty eight years ago today, John Lennon was murdered. I heard the news in the living room of our flat on Peralta Avenue in Bernal Heights (San Francisco). The living room had a teak laminate daybed-couch-combo piece of furniture and it was upholstered in blue plaid.

I remember sitting on the couch and crying when I heard the news. After some time had passed, I heard the front door open and knew it was my boyfriend, Jeb, coming home from work. I stood up and in slow motion staggered to the head of the stairs. He come up the stairs smiling and in a good mood as usual. When he say my face his entire demeanor changed and somehow I told him something, but I can't remember the words I used. Then we went into the living room and sat on the blue plaid and watched the images on the television.

To this day, every year on the anniversay of John Lennon's death, I think of that laminated couch with blue plaid fabric and all the emotions come rushing back. I haven't had any blue plaid in my life since.

Gay Marriage and Earthquakes

2008-11-27T19:00:00.000-08:00

I received my "New California Earthquake Policy" a few days ago and actually took the time to read it. I know I'm crazy. But as I was reading the document, it hit home to me just how important marriage is in the event of an earthquake. Term definitions are listed on page one of my "Summary of Changes." Specifically, "Domestic Partnership. Under your new CEA policy, a domestic partner is not defined as an insured."

This is huge. If people think that a domestic partnership conveys all the rights of marriage, think again. So I guess if I'm in a domestic partnership and we own a house together, both of us would have to have our own earthquake insurance to protect us from the big one, or even a smaller one.

On page six of my policy, it says "Insured means you and the following persons if they are permanent residents of your household:
a. your relatives, whether related by blood, marriage or adoption; and b. anyone under the age of 21 who is in the care or custody of you or of any of your relatives who are permanent residents of your household.

I guess if I were in a relationship with someone under 21, then I'd be good. Of course that breaks my five year rule when it comes to relationships as I'm a bit over 30 (quite a bit).

As I'm writing this, Public Enemy is on the radio doing that kick ass song "Fight the Power" from Fear of a Black Planet. I'm waiting for some gay rappers to do a redux called Fear of a Gay Planet.

Getting involved with high level politics

2008-11-25T07:08:00.000-08:00

I feel like I'm floundering in the dark, but I'm trying. How about the CEO of the Rodale Institute for Secretary of the USDA?