Screened Innocence

We are mirrors

2009-05-18T01:16:00.001+05:30

Then if you say so, is it not?
That each of us is a mirror,
To something inhibited deep -
Within the folds of our palms,
Beyond the wrinkles on our faces,
Isn't there a shimmer that I see,
Or am I seeing mirages again,
Far, few and some more now,
And yet I see reflections of you,
In yourself, every now and then -
So why deny that if I shoot you,
I still shoot a mirror, not you,
For you will live on and on -
The shattered mirror though,
Has a different story to tell,
It won't reflect you no more...

-Anubhav

गौरव को संभाव्य करो

2009-04-03T13:52:00.001+05:30

एक वचन सच करो मनुज
कुछ अर्थ गहो शब्दों में अब
सब व्यर्थ नहीं ऐसा सोचो
कुछ आग भरो कंधो में अब

नमन नहीं हुंकार करो तुम
दान नहीं तुम दमन करो अब
बनता है बारूद सच शून्य ही
अपने सूक्ष्मकार से नहीं डरो अब

जब समानता मिले नहीं सहज
अंतरद्वंद्व पर संयम करो तब
क्रोध केन्द्रित करो शत्रु पर
विजय पताका हाथ धरो तब

पीताम्बर नहीं लाल रंगों मुह
विचार नहीं युद्ध करो अब
अंतिम बार अंतिम साँसों में
गौरव को संभाव्य करो अब...

- अनुभव

क्या व्याख्या करू मैं इस संसार की?

2009-03-29T02:46:00.000+05:30

क्या व्याख्या करू मैं इस संसार की?
कुछ अजब सी स्थिर इस मझधार की
शुरु से जो हो रहा है मुक्कम्मल
उस संताप की, सुरूर की, प्रहार की..

हर प्रारंभ के कोने में छुपते से
बेवजह छपते हुए इश्तेहार की
और अँधेरे में बैठे चुप से
बेबात की बात के उस सार की..

जिसकी तलाश है मेरे दोस्त को
वक्त की बुझती हुई उस मार की
जिसके थपेड़े आज भी हुंकारते
अफ़सोस के माहौल के उस तार की

आखिर चला जो आखिरी था आदमी
मन के उसके कौंधते विचार की
मशगूल जो अपनी तरह से हो रही
ऐसी ही एक बहकी हुई सी हार की

शाम को गोधुली में खोती हुई
एक आदमी की कोशिश एक बार की
क्या व्याख्या करू मैं इस संसार की?
कुछ अजब सी स्थिर इस मझधार की...

- अनुभव

Dying of hope

2009-03-24T01:30:00.000+05:30

Of the myriad summer yearns,
Of the sudden wistful churns,
Of the world in dark satires,
Of the sullen silent fires,
Of the girl with grim eyes,
Of the dream of starry skies,
Of the signet on your name,
Of the rough and wasted fame,
Of the subtle-loud sunshine,
Of the things I can call mine,
Of the blots on cotton checks,
Of the pointy hairy wrecks,
Of the winding narrow roads,
Of the long forgotten bodes,
I am dying of the hope of life,
Of better things and beyond.

-Anubhav

Fate or them

2009-03-09T02:38:00.000+05:30

Silence keeps the brood alive,
At least far from slit throats,
When they huddle to a corner -
And lay as almost dead, quiet.
Inexistence is a virtue, almost,
As they shudder at fate,
The unknown master that holds,
The strings of their lives -
Hostage to its own whim.
They ponder then in the moment,
Just before the judgment,
Of the hands in the cage,
Is it Fate or the hand,
That shall forsake them soon...
The question that we don't ask,
But one that we surely must,
While our brood is still alive,
If fate indeed is to blame...
Or are the hands that hold -
The mantle of our lives,
The true slayers of our kin.

- Anubhav

Torn Bark

2009-02-15T21:03:00.002+05:30

Torn Bark
Originally uploaded by iolotusAnubhav

Torn apart by significant forces

The Blood Rose

2009-02-15T21:02:00.001+05:30

The Blood Rose
Originally uploaded by iolotusAnubhav

Just playing with colors and subjects... A rose lying on a granite slab... well there is more to it :)

Crawling Dino Productions

2009-02-10T03:15:00.005+05:30

Sambhav

2009-02-06T02:07:00.002+05:30

Finding home

2008-10-20T11:24:00.004+05:30

9:30 AM, Frankfurt Airport, Terminal 1. Gate A 65
It is cold here in Germany. Cold as you imagine the word to be. I have a rather sore throat and am already missing home terribly. I am not sure if it is the illness, the distance or the place but I do not feel good. Not as of now. Lonely is one thing that I hate to feel and that is exactly what I am feeling. A tickling feeling, butterflies in the stomach, a pulsating head or an aching heart – you name it and I have it!

Tracking back a day in time, I was with my girl, my friends and in a place that I am attached to. A rather clichéd remark comes to mind (but as I told someone a few days ago, sometimes at the right moment a cliché is the apt thing to say or do) – Sometimes we don’t realize how important some things are to us until they are not around. When the touch-feel-see proximities are violated and the time-space quantum separates you out...

Slowly but steadily, the earnest reality of the moment sinks in and you look around to see people you do not know, to hear languages that you do not understand (apart from the occasional danke and guten morgen)... You start enumerating more than your brain is supposed to process – The philosophical context of the phrase "feel at home", the surreal feeling of almost not existing, how shiny the floor is, the rivets in some of the walls remind you of the "German war machine" that you read about so long ago, the silver foils covering the air ventilation ducts, the fact that more people around you are wearing brown shoes than black shoes - The fragments of moments from the past coalescing with your present in excruciating bonds...

10:09 AM, Frankfurt Airport, Terminal 1. Gate A 65
After being hustled out for check-in all the passengers were sent back to where we were sitting! Efficient usage of space or pointlessness – I am not sure. So here I am, around 20 feet away from where I was 20 minutes ago. Closer to the glass windows which are letting in some sun, I am feeling slightly warm and better. The endless enumeration of the world though, still continues. The sun or perhaps the boredom has triggered a bit more of chit-chat around here and this place seems to have received a fresh inoculation of life!

I can see at least 7 aircraft outside the window, some parked and others being pulled around by tow trucks. And here comes another one landing down. The asphalt, concrete and rubber uniting with an unpleasant screech... The airport vehicles moving up to the newly arrived craft... The smaller vehicles that are carrying officials moving at faster paces, the buses giving way to the vans – Organized chaos!

A silent crane in the distance seems to be staring back at everyone looking at it, reminiscent of its might perhaps. An old broken building lying at its feet, the old consumed to make way for the new... The laws of nature and mankind, instantly evident, almost revealed...

There are more people coming in and this place would now seem to be qualified to be called crowded – or not? Why not? Well simply because even with so many people there seems to be some kind of a wall or may I say some great barrier in an unknown dimension separating them out.

And well the mythical high in the life energy levels seem to have subsided sooner than I had imagined them to. It is almost as silent as it was in my college third year ‘Electronics’ classes. Which I witnessed perhaps just once or twice but it was disturbing to sit in such a silent class!

Nostalgia is just one of the several things wrecking my brains as of now. Wrecking maybe too harsh a word so let’s stick with ‘passing through’... The organized chaos outside of the window continues like clockwork...

The announcements have been made and the journey must continue. On to Seattle for now...

My tilted world

2008-10-15T02:46:00.001+05:30

Just a play with colors... Tried to represent the times when I can't see straight and still everything seems fine or even perfect...

Sleep, assumptions and my three big blunders

2008-10-08T16:51:00.002+05:30

There are times when we are forced to look back and spend some time in retrospect. Often such times follow times of great misfortunes or unforgivable blunders. Today is one such day for me. The third time that I missed an important professional meeting/commitment.

The first time was when I was in college. I had gone to IIT Guwahati for a technical presentation and a programming contest. One of the events was a debugging contest. Scheduled at 9 am. I was sleeping and so was my partner. We were woken up by folks who were returning from the contest after finishing it! We ran to the spot and realized that it was 10 minutes to closure. We somehow ended up solving one of the given problems and well that was that...

There was guilt and mockery that followed. I realized that I had made a blunder that I will remember for the rest of my life. I made a pact to myself to not repeat it again.

Four years later, the second big blunder happened! There was supposed to be a high visibility presentation at work. I was given the ownership along with 2 other folks. I assumed that they were taking care of it. On the day of the presentation, scheduled at 10.30 am, I got a call from my manager at 10:15 am - the setup for the presentation was not working! And yet again this time, I was sleeping when I was woken up by the call. Rushed to work and somehow got a few things working but it was nowhere close to what we had planned for... Guilt followed along with apologies... It was a blunder, the second time that I had done it! I thought that it was probably the last one that I will make...

Today, 8th of October, I had an important meeting set up with a friend and mentor in many ways. It was slated for 2 pm. I had fever so when I woke up at 11 am. I thought I will take a nap and then wake up and go. I woke up at 3:15 pm... to realize that there were many calls and messages, missed on my phone! I had slept off... and for too long. I have committed it a third time...

All three times, sleep and assumptions led to major failures on my part. Failures that I hope to learn from and rectify. Failures that have made me look back and think, I cannot avoid them. I will have to find a way to overpower these moments. Find ways to establish a channel to ensure that such failures ring an alarm bell before they happen. And to react in the best possible ways to overcome in the moment that matters and try not to fail others who depend on me...

-Anubhav

Quotes by Me

2008-10-06T23:49:00.002+05:30

"There is a thin line between irrational and pointless"

"If you wait for the fresh green pea whose surface area is a whole number then you will just end up waiting to join Euclid in the afterlife"

"Eventuality is boring. Be weird - Save the world!"

"I thought that I was trespassing the bandwidths and was landing up in someone else's modulated section"

"Ah! Jobs always stink. They are there to pay for the perfumes"

-Anubhav

Puppets - You & I

2008-10-04T03:38:00.001+05:30

Sometimes when I hold out my hand,
I grab some air, some dreams,
Some lost speeding wagon from,
The train of thoughts I yield,
And breathtaken speaks to me,
He who has no heart to share,
And he who has shared all of his...
Spared victims of vice, love,
Convicted fairies stand, close,
Holding on to the threads,
That they suspend in ether,
Puppets move, puppets fly,
They flinch and puppets die,
Smeared faces, teary eyes for us,
As they sing the funeral songs,
For the puppet fairies and I,
Hold on to something and hope,
Its not a thread, just air.

-Anubhav

Khoj laana tum khushi ko

2008-09-19T01:25:00.004+05:30

khoj laana tum khushi ko apne uss jahaan sei,
hain jahaan par pariyon ke shahro ke jharoke,
aur laana pal mei tum daal kar khushbu bhi,
fir chalenge geeto par hum sawaar hoke...
nanhe raaju ke haatho mei khelta khilaona,
aur tu tina, tu kyu aise baithi hai chup hoke,
chal aa jaa ab hum sunaa dei apni ye kahani,
aur dil ki baatei bol dei bindaas sei hoke...
kya darna hai in logo ki mote chashmo sei ab,
akhbaro ke peeche chupte naraaz ye kyun hoke,
aao poochhei insei hum ki insei upar kya hai,
kyu hai inke aaju baaju rehte itne dhoke...
arre aao lekar khushi ko apne uss jahaan sei,
hain jahaan par pariyon ke shahro ke jharoke...
...

-Anubhav

Tu saraab hai ya dhoka

2008-09-19T01:25:00.003+05:30

bada bechain nazro mei khamoshi ka sabab rehta,
na usse bolte hain hum na wo humsei hai kuchh kehta,
kabhi kulfat nahi hoti aqeedat ka toh pairaahan,
jo aansu tham ke rehta tha wo kaise hai abhi behta...
sitamgar tu badaa kaafir bana jaata hai kyun aise,
ki ab aahat bhi hoti hai, toh sannata nahi rehta,
mushtahir hai bada teri ada-on ka bayan-e-gam,
tera khayal-o-zikr bhi sukoon ka hai nahi rehta...
tu aakhir cheez hai toh kya, koi saraab ya dhoka!
khwaabo mei toh aata hai, par nazro mei nahi rehta.

-Anubhav

The other side of the mirror

2008-09-10T01:35:00.000+05:30

A drop of dew against my face,
That shows through the mirror,
I wipe it clean, subtly, slowly,
With the tips of my fingers.
Lingering a moment too long -
Against my wrinkling forehead,
Or least, what looks like mine!
Smeared with stories & days,
Nights full of dreams, lush -
Thoughts and fervid forms,
Engaged in the thoroughfares,
Of the mundane, the nascent -
Silences and forming sounds,
That shape into long held
Memories; Spoken, forgotten.
You becoming you for once,
I being I as only I can be!
Striking similarities - none,
And yet so many to find...
In the world that stares back,
Into my eyes from the eyes -
On the other side of the mirror.

-Anubhav K

I aspire

2008-09-10T01:31:00.001+05:30

A little piece of sunshine,
Or a shady dusk at hand...
I aspire to become me,
While you find reasons
To walk your dreams.
Take a stroll with me,
Run, hide, run, dance,
Take a bit of that chance,
To redeem your hopes,
Cherish your destiny,
Step aside while you do...
For I must walk past,
To the sunrise due east,
The one that I inspire.

-Anubhav K

I have always wanted to be

2008-09-06T02:32:00.000+05:30

Sprightly and ever so brightly,
I leap into the reflection of me -
That holds my hands as free,
As I have always wanted to be!

Streaming forth my thought tunnels,
Is a beam of light, immense,
It its expanse and calidity,
Bouncing on its musical spree.

To find itself across the page,
Just beyond the lucid full-stops,
That make me pause and see,
My blurred form seeking clarity...

Staring off to the other side,
Of the coloured window panes,
I notice the pale, old oak tree,
Its arms extended in a decree -

Calling my name with the breeze,
Asking me to hold retrospect -
Close to my hope, next to my plea,
And to ask myself before I flee...

Away to the world that I occupy,
From sunrise to dusk and beyond,
And I hold my hands as free,
As I have always wanted to be, me.

-Anubhav

The silent boat

2008-08-22T00:57:00.001+05:30

The silent boat
Originally uploaded by iolotusAnubhav

This reminded me of William Wordsworth...

"...
To launch the boat; and with her blessing cheered,
And inwardly sustained by silent prayer,
Together they put forth, Father and Child!
..."

Watering hole

2008-08-22T00:53:00.003+05:30

Watering hole
Originally uploaded by iolotusAnubhav

The Anjuna beach in Goa. Now that's some place!

Hill fort

2008-08-22T00:53:00.001+05:30

Hill fort
Originally uploaded by iolotusAnubhav

Now that's a fort on the top of a hill. Well that and more... the crumbled walls, the stories of the hands and hammers that have struck it over years...

Gliding clouds

2008-08-22T00:52:00.001+05:30

Gliding clouds
Originally uploaded by iolotusAnubhav

Fly away my thoughts, my feelings and my hope...
Fly away to meet me at the other side of the journey.

Solar peep

2008-08-22T00:51:00.001+05:30

Solar peep
Originally uploaded by iolotusAnubhav

Shield your vision!

Mighty for ages

2008-08-22T00:49:00.001+05:30

Mighty for ages
Originally uploaded by iolotusAnubhav

An old tree, standing by itself. It has watched many others wither around itself but it has stood there becoming a part of history, folklore and photographs...