tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36022012009-03-01T18:33:32.012-08:00The Rants of Mister P<b>This keeps my blood pressure within reason...</b>Wedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.comBlogger572125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3602201.post-88771839115605049062008-03-14T00:23:00.000-07:002008-03-14T00:29:25.931-07:00Going Back DownOh My God my worst elevator nightmare came true. I had to go down to the first floor to check my mail. When I stepped in the elevator, two old biddies were already inside. Which is fine, I don't have anything against biddies, young or old. We stopped on the 8th floor and an old man came on pushing a stroller with what I assume was his granddaughter. But rather than making room for Wedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3602201.post-62101374790817290282008-03-06T14:42:00.000-08:002008-03-06T14:56:10.960-08:00Going DownThe elevators in my building have been undergoing renovations, and the first one reopened yesterday. It has fancy new buttons and shiny new LEDs showing each floor. And the elevator actually stops dead even at each floor- there's none of that 1/2" gap that makes you trip when you step out. This is all well and good, but they added another feature as well: it talks.The elevator (I'll Wedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3602201.post-58459119521236439722008-02-26T17:06:00.000-08:002008-02-26T17:25:09.138-08:00Vacuums Suck, Part IIFive years ago, I bought a new vacuum. I've hated it ever since. It very clearly says that it uses Hoover "Y" bags, but I swear to you the bags don't fit. Every time I have to change the bag I have to twist and contort it to try to cram it on to the pipe thingy. And the "bag bucket" doesn't always lock in place which leaves a gap and ruins the suction.My mother, who uses the Wedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3602201.post-89793363464919051372008-02-22T12:47:00.001-08:002008-02-22T12:49:20.945-08:00Makes Me LaughIs it just me, or does anyone else find this sign a little offensive?It's like "OK crips, if I can't park in your parking spaces then you'd better stay the hell out of mine!"Wedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3602201.post-91776677986939686472008-02-03T23:31:00.000-08:002008-02-03T23:41:31.542-08:00SuperbowlIs it possible that the best part of the Superbowl was actually... The Game?! We had the underdog Jersey Giants (that's right, you heard me, Jersey) coming from behind in the last minutes to win it. It's like something you'd see in movie. So was there anything more interesting than that? Well let's see. There was the halftime show with... Tom Petty? Are they serious? Didn't he die like Wedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3602201.post-90779789924139129312007-12-27T15:01:00.000-08:002007-12-27T15:03:10.726-08:00Gee, Thanks MomMy mother mailed me a clipping from our small home-town newspaper. It was a photo of a guy I went to high school with being sworn in as Township Manager. My mom told me "I thought you'd enjoy seeing the picture because he's bald too!"Thanks.Wedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3602201.post-27051274487447293112007-12-25T14:46:00.000-08:002007-12-25T14:57:46.431-08:00A Christmas MiracleThose who live in my neck of the woods are probably familiar with Porto's Bakery. It is known for two things: having yummy pastries and being an absolute madhouse. It is always packed, and loud, and chaotic. But if you are invited to someone's home, a box of goodies from Porto's makes a nice treat.Late afternoon Sunday I realized I had nothing to bring to my cousin's house for Wedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3602201.post-43787066982227617922007-12-17T22:38:00.000-08:002007-12-17T22:53:40.455-08:00Feeling a DraftThe President of one of our divisions (R.R.) had to do an unexpected teleconference today. I am not in his direct chain-of-command, but he would essentially by my boss' boss' boss' boss. The person who normally handles teleconferences was out so I, being one of the few people in the building familiar with the equipment, helped out. With this being one week before Christmas, I was Wedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3602201.post-57763847398172276582007-12-16T18:39:00.000-08:002007-12-16T18:49:39.082-08:00I Feel Safer AlreadyThere was a mesage on my home answering machine: a security guard found my wallet in the garage. Sounds perfectly normal. I went down to front desk and told the guard "I got a message saying that someone found my wallet." I gave him my name and unit number. He asked me "do you have your ID?" I looked at him for a moment and explained, "no it's in my wallet."The light went on Wedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3602201.post-22429492909360607252007-12-14T14:27:00.000-08:002007-12-14T14:49:43.674-08:00MySpace or Yours?I hate "social networking" sites. MySpace. Facebook. MSNsomethingorother. They are everything that is wrong with the internet. They are a spammer's fantasy come true: people intentionally go out an post personal information, and try to create as many links as possible with other people, interconnecting everyone's information for spammers to sweep up. And you may not even be awareWedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3602201.post-75990724755910613802007-12-06T21:04:00.000-08:002007-12-06T21:15:26.706-08:00So I'm a RacistI usually spend Thanksgiving with my cousins. This year, they were invited to their neighbors' house and I tagged along. The family is black, and yes that is significant to the story.As we were starting to gather around the table, the daughter (in her late 20s) asked "what kind of music should I put on while we eat?" Someone said "just play what ever you normally listen to." She Wedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3602201.post-20157026719354144302007-11-15T12:14:00.000-08:002007-11-15T16:59:29.969-08:00Duck!Most people don't know this, but I once had the lead in the school play. That's right, I played the title character in Mrs. Sissick's kindergarten presentation of "Little White Duck". I remember many details about it: I remember being asked if I wanted the part. I remember my construction paper costume which consisted of a white hat with an orange bill and green eyes. I remember squatting Wedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3602201.post-38447378898580634642007-11-13T10:35:00.000-08:002007-11-13T10:45:47.385-08:00Grieving Las VegasI'm very upset.For years, I have wanted to go to Vegas to watch them blow up an old hotel. The problem is I never knew ahead of time when they would have the implosion. I'd just be watching the news at home some night and see yet another hotel get demolished.Well I finally targeted a hotel demolition to watch. I knew the Frontier was being taken down, and last year I Wedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3602201.post-37071615753141002412007-11-12T11:13:00.000-08:002007-11-12T11:28:47.610-08:00Cable FableI was a happy DirecTV customer for about 6 years. I had a dual-tuner DirecTV Tivo and it was the shizzle. Unfotunately, DirecTV no longer supports Tivo; they force you to use their custom DVR. I have a Tivo blanket at home. I have a stuffed Tivo toy. I wear a Tivo lanyard all day at work. I want Tivo, not some generic knock-off. So I switched to cable TV.For the past 3 months, I had a Wedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3602201.post-82910856894626334082007-11-05T07:40:00.000-08:002007-11-05T07:51:26.183-08:00Eggciting HalloweenI spent Halloween at a friend's house helping them give out candy. Their street gets blocked off to traffic for a huge Halloween party. We have an official clicker to count the number of trick-or-treaters. This year it was 1,804. That's right, one-thousand, eight hundred and four individual kids.I had to park about 3 blocks away, and I had a bad vibe about it. My car was prettyWedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3602201.post-82756765361992598012007-11-02T12:49:00.000-07:002007-11-02T12:50:51.399-07:00Feeling BluMy boss told me about a super one-day-only sale at Wal-Mart: $99 for a Toshiba HD-DVD player. At that price, how can you go wrong? Entry- level players are normally $199-$299. Although the format wars continue, for $99 I was willing to pick a side.I was worried about the players selling out, so I tool an early lunch and headed out to Wal-Mart. I was trying to decide which movie rentWedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3602201.post-64693728693430738802007-10-27T22:07:00.000-07:002007-10-27T22:57:03.639-07:00Guitar ZeroOne of my favorite simple pleasures is getting the Sunday paper a day early. I only get it for the comics so I don't care about the news. I usually buy it on Saturday (like today), although sometimes I can get the weekend edition on Friday night which is even more amazing. It makes me feel like I'm travelling through time.One of my worst simple annoyances is having to dig through the Wedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3602201.post-11777958517793806122007-10-23T15:36:00.000-07:002007-10-23T15:54:20.530-07:00No ParkingI live in a 20-story condo complex. One of the cornerstones of happy urban living is staking claim to a parking space. There is a big black market of parking spaces in our building, with people constantly posting signs "Looking For Parking Space"; "Parking Space for Rent". They are quite the commodity.I have two reserved spots in my garage. Mine. All mine. And it is not a perk I take Wedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3602201.post-71470554195973119932007-10-21T22:20:00.000-07:002007-10-21T22:39:46.280-07:00War Is HellDutch and Danielle wanted to come over to watch Transformers this weekend. Dutch suggested that I rent the Blu-ray version; we had a PS3 we could borrow and we could watch the movie in glorious high-definition on my new flat-screen TV. Brilliant idea. I went to Blockbuster only to discover that Transformers wasn't released on Blu-ray, only DVD and HD-DVD. Blockbuster doesn't even rent Wedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3602201.post-53083861015747952662007-10-19T11:46:00.000-07:002007-10-19T12:10:11.417-07:00My Broken FlapperMy toiket has been broken for about 2 years. There is very slow leak in the tank, so every 25 minutes or slow the water level drops about a quarter inch. That's just enough to trigger the valve to fill the tank, and it pumps a few ounces of water back in. Repeat. 24/7/365. Drove me crazy at night at tmes when I'd hear it turning on again.I am not skilled around the house, but I Wedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3602201.post-73336093941799744542007-10-18T13:54:00.000-07:002007-10-18T13:55:34.082-07:00OK, OK, I Get ItOde to a Forgotten WebsiteRants of Mister PWhy are you forsaken?Though you do not run, do you not have feelings?Though you do not swim, can you not drown?Though you do not bike, when you’re cut, do you not bleed?How your anecdotes amused.How your stories entertained.Cold, Alone, in the Darkness.Crying.-diWedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3602201.post-43409925727986158482007-08-08T23:02:00.000-07:002007-08-08T23:04:25.772-07:00Happily Ever AfterI have my luggage.10 days after I arrived home to Los Angeles, the wonderful people at Delta Airlines delivered my bag. I have my laptop, my camera, my dirty underwear, everything.Wedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3602201.post-11595653981492080712007-08-08T10:38:00.000-07:002007-08-08T10:54:55.237-07:00Land of the LostIt's been about 10 days since I've seen my luggage. I don't think it's coming back.I have to fill out a "Passenger Property Loss Claim" with Delta. There are tons of restrictions. For starters, they won't cover any electronics at all. Period. If any item is more than $250 (like my eyeglasses) I need to show a receipt. Do you think I have a receipt for eyeglasses I bought 5 years Wedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3602201.post-15763284130381076252007-08-03T15:54:00.000-07:002007-08-03T15:56:50.402-07:00Now With Photo GoodnessYou can see random images of my life on my new "photostream." Man, do I hate those stupid internet words they keep making up. Whatever.http://www.flickr.com/photos/lifeofmisterp/Wedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3602201.post-77857402475389489702007-08-01T14:00:00.001-07:002007-08-01T14:32:03.063-07:00Oceanic 815I called Delta Airlines today to speak with a human being about my lost luggage. the clueless representative had no information for me. None. I asked if should could tell me if my luggage made it on to the flight out of Albany; if it didn't, then at least I could send my cousin to the airport to look for it. Delta had no idea. She told me that bags are only scanned when they arrive at Wedgiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818661187250145289noreply@blogger.com0