Evidently...

Educational moment brought to you by MTV

2009-07-03T05:24:00.000-07:00

Last night I was flipping through the hundreds of channels on the in-laws direct TV dish cable feed. (Incidentally if I can't flip through the whole cycle of channels in under 10 minutes, I just get plain overwhelmed.) But I came to rest on MTV. Clearly, I have aged out of the intended demographic but they had a show on called "16 and Pregnant." Ken & I were a little dubious because we have also seen "My Super Sweet 16" which glorifies incredibly spoiled teenagers and their over the top birthday celebration. We wondered then if this show would "glorify" teen pregnancy.

No even close.

We watched for almost the full hour and I have to give some credit to MTV for shining a no-nonsense light on a serious topic for once. I have mentioned my utter disdain for reality television because it's not about reality. But this show might be an exception. It was very clear about illustrating in the couples' own words their growing fears, disillusionment, understanding of sacrifice and changes that were affecting them. I kept thinking the mom-to-be in the show was going through many of the same things physically that I am now, but she is almost 20 years younger then me. Twenty years less experience, twenty years less time to grow as a person, twenty years less to establish a career, find a fulfilling relationship and realize her dreams. And any of the minor fears/uncertainties that Ken & I have about lack of sleep, impact on our relationship or changes to our spending & priorities, simply pale in comparison to the challenges facing the couple on the show. The dad just barely graduated from high school and is bound for the military. The mom wanted to graduate and go into the Air Force as well but she couldn't finish her classes with the arrival of the baby and the military won't allow two parents to enlist like that due to hardship on the family. So the gal had to give up everything she was dreaming about for her life for this child.

Another great point this show made was how this couple wasn't using any form of birth control--despite the fact they knew about it and had parents who would assist them with getting it. For some reason, that seems like a growing problem these days. I don't know enough to say definitively, but are people just more cavalier about their actions and don't care about the consequences these days?

Hopefully this show will crystalize to teens & young adults that sex is serious business and should not be taken lightly.

*************
But for those of you who have been through a pregnancy, I dare you to go to TLC where they have a show called "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant." It's pretty self-explanatory but you have to see this show to believe it. I cannot even wrap my head around the concept.

The Wetus goes to Washington (DC)

2009-06-30T04:50:00.001-07:00

Yesterday we had a lovely visit to Downtown Washington DC. We had lunch with Aunt Mary and then decided to go down by the White House to see if we could spot an Obama. Instead we came up against some awful traffic where we literally moved 4 blocks in 45 minutes. But right when we were going to give up, we found a parking spot within a block and a half of the White House. Very picturesque.

As an added bonus we found out what was stopping traffic: a protest against human rights violations aimed at the visiting Columbian President. We had seen some limos & blacked out SUVs go by us when we were trying to get around and then lo & behold just a block away from the White House there was this rally...

It was very exciting. And then as we went back toward the White House, I noticed men in black watching from the roof. It must be the snipers! It doesn't get much better than that. After we got our fill of presidential grandeur, we went on a quest for ice cream and found some frozen custard.

As always, it was a fabulous visit with Aunt Mary who has lived in DC for over 50 years. She and her family have worked in various parts of the government in DC and she narated which building was what as we drove through town. You can tell the city is getting ready for the 4th of July festivities. Though we will be down in Virginia by then, it looks to be one major party.

East Coast Bound and Thoughts about Michael Jackson

2009-06-27T05:58:00.000-07:00

Clearly the Wetus is getting ready for our trip to the East Coast today and self-adjusting to the time difference because it woke up at 5 am with hiccups and has been active ever since. That's fine I guess because it's so bright outside anyway, so I may as well get up. We are off to the DC, Maryland, Virginia area to do, as I have been calling it, "The Farewell Tour." Farewell, to our transcontinental traveling twosome days. There is a lot of visiting packed in including a stay with the Vaslows who moved from Kirkland to Maryland last year, seeing many of Ken's childhood & school friends and a mini-reunion with Ken's family on the 4th of July.

I am looking forward to getting away and seeing all these fine people. I hope my energy level sustains so that it can be a truly enjoyable time. The weather is forecasted in the 80's with 40-50% humidity. We shall see how I do with that. I'm a little nervous about how many ticks they have over there. An alarming number of Ken's family have Lyme Disease from those little pests so I am coming prepared with some pretreated insect repelling clothing and DEET spray in a concentration safe for pregnancy. But being more of an indoor person myself, it might not be too hard to stay out of the ticks' way. At 27 weeks pregnant and still showing placenta previa, I have also been advised to travel with a copy of my medical records (check), know where all the Level III NICU Hospitals are (check) and not lift, strain or engage in any form of exercise (...) Poor Ken, he's going to be schlepping bags this whole vacation.

One very cool thing about this trip is that Ken, his brothers and cousin are going to rent Harleys and take a multi-day motorcycle road trip to revisit some of the significant places in their childhood. They have been talking about doing this for a few years and the timing is pretty good considering what's coming up. Ken has been helping plan the route and make accommodations.

As for this past week, we celebrated our 4th Anniversary which culminated with a lovely dinner at Waterfront Restaurant. Our booth table had a view of Elliott Bay where there were sailboat races going on. It was spectacular. Ken and I both agreed while we like the look of sailboats and they are a fun challenge, we are so glad we don't have to maintain one.

Ken also gave me a cute card in which he made a list which I will share...

Top 10 Reasons I Love my Prius-- I mean, Wife
Still Shiny
Environmentally Friendly
Unlocks as I Approach
Low Emissions
Sleek Lines/Aerodynamic
Roomy (good for carrying kids)
Great Safety Rating
Saves Me Money Everyday
Quiet "Ninja Mode" Feature
Makes Me Smug

Also on the day of our anniversary, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson died so that kicked off a little introspection. Particularly in Michael Jackson's situation as more information comes out that he had been allegedly addicted to pain killers and surrounded by people who enabled access to substances furthering his destructive spiraling. It reminded me of the Anna Nicole Smith train wreck and the nearly identical Britney Spears situation. Britney at least had her family to save her from that fate but it strikes me that these quite famous and seemingly rich & powerful people attract to them the most sinister associates and "yes-people" who separate them from reality and reason. When you add drugs into the mix, the celebrity at the center of it is no longer in control and their miserable lives become a spectacle that the masses consume as entertainment.

Along the same lines, I guess I don't understand the appeal of reality television. It seems worse in a way because it's more an "I want to be famous" motivation and less an "I want to be a professional entertainer". Because once famous, a reality star has to deal with the pitfalls of keeping fame, continual pressure to be outrageous and a misplaced narcissism that comes without ever having to be talented. I don't watch reality TV but just the amount of news coverage that Jon & Kate plus 8 show got--I worry about our culture and what message is conveyed about "what reality is."

So regarding Michael who was so impactful to my 80's childhood, my love of dance and music--I salute you. He became weirder and weirder as time went on so I chose to remember him as he was in the 80's and marvel at that era which seemed so magical. But like many geniuses and mega-celebrities, his early success was at the expense of a normal life & childhood which could have manifested some of the reprehensible behavior he was later accused of. I don't know, but as my dad says, "you can do anything you want if you're willing to pay the price." It seems that Michael paid that price many times over but can now leave it all behind.

Happy Anniversary!

2009-06-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

To my husband who always keeps me laughing...

Photo by Brett Jungbluth

Dad, the do-gooder

2009-06-22T17:55:00.001-07:00

Here's dad in a PSA about the SW Washington Free Clinic. With the issue of more and more folks not having health care because they can't afford it or don't have jobs that provide it, clinics like these are getting slammed. I am so grateful that there are places like these to help bridge the gap while our government is finally taking this issue head on. Dad volunteers here and this PSA was made as a recruitment tool to attract other healthcare providers. (Dad comes in at 3:25)

I think Shannon told me that 60% of bankruptcies are due to health care costs. It makes no sense to me to be the country with the best health care available that only a fraction of the citizens can access. I think health care needs to be looked at more in terms of a service and less as a business. I'm beginning to think that capitalism isn't all that sustainable especially when it comes to basics like this. The other thing I don't understand is why "socialized medicine" is such a scary prospect. I lived over in England for a year and have English friends. They like their health care system very much thank you. Why are our politicians so afraid of it?

25 Weeks

2009-06-15T23:06:00.001-07:00

Me...

The Nursery sans Theremin & crib...

Crib construction...

The Nursery / temporary Theremin practice room...

The Fighting Wetus...

(Boxing gloves compliments of Daddy who likes to take liberties in Photoshop.)

Wenatchee

2009-06-15T21:35:00.000-07:00

Ken and I took a fantastical journey to the center of our fine state. It was a welcome car trip, especially as we passed the top of Snoqualmie Pass and the area en route to Wenatchee called Hidden Valley. So picturesque and wide open. I do miss that--how the land opens up before you with no obstacles and the sky & clouds seem bigger than normal. In the hustle bustle of the big city, views like that can seem so foreign.

Our weekend getaway was spent with my elementary school chum Heather, her musical husband Daric and their 2-year-old, Ethan. I visited them down in Phoenix last Mother's Day and they have since relocated to Wenatchee, WA. We are so excited to have them so near. The temps were in the upper 80's/low 90's so this delicate, pregnant flower was wilting a little. But it's almost prime time cherry season and I was hoping to snag some of my favorite fruit from the source. I did come back with some Bings but will have to wait a few more weeks for the Rainiers.

Ken had only met Heather & Daric at our wedding (4 years ago) and of course it was a whirlwind so not much quality time. But on this visit, Daric and Ken got to jam on their guitars, Ken gave a Theremin demonstration, we played and read to their son Ethan who danced, sang & says the most earnest "no" I've ever seen and we got to see Daric play songs from his new CD at a local eatery. Heather & Daric also told us stories about parenthood which we intently absorbed.

Ken and I stayed at a very cute B&B called Huckleberry Haven. It is the most darling place and the hosts provide excellent hospitality and meals. True to it's name, huckleberries are featured in many of the breakfast dishes and beverages served. The huckleberry bread was our favorite and she gave me the recipe. Of course, I have a thing about 99.99999999999999999999% of the beds in this world: they are not mine and therefore I cannot have very restful sleep because I am so spoiled and unadaptable in my old age. But the private 2-person jacuzzi tub, sitting room and beautifully decorated suite were fabulous and the second night was an improvement.

We look forward to seeing them in Wenatchee again--probably post-wetus delivery.

Media NOT Recommended for Pregnancy

2009-06-11T16:18:00.000-07:00

Then there's the stuff one should stay away from during pregnancy--and I'm not talking sushi, coffee, lunch meat or blue cheese.

Here are some major offenders:

Book

Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy

Probably the worst book I've encountered regarding pregnancy. Tone is snarky and shallow. I guess the woman who wrote this is a former Playboy Playmate--which may explain the unshakable fixation on appearance and how pregnancy/childbirth affects a swinging gal's mojo. There are a lot of humor books on the topic of pregnancy and a few are listed in my former post. This is in no way "humorous"; it vacillates simultaneously between annoying and sad.

TV/Movies

The Fly 2 (first 10 minutes especially)

One of our friends said not just pregnant women but everyone should be warned against this movie. I thought this was a descent movie but the first scene is very horrific if you are pregnant or ever thinking about becoming so.

Battlestar Galactica Episode "The Farm"

From my favorite TV show comes a disturbing episode that showcases the cylons desire to cross-breed with humans and their mechanisms to accomplish that. Makes you think twice about what we do to animals/livestock in the name of science.

Any of the "Alien" movies

One of the best sci-fi story lines ever but does not mix well with pregnancy. Technically this doesn't have anything to do with pregnancy, but NOW the idea of a creature bursting out of your chest/abdomen area--yeah not so cool.

Star Trek 2009 (just the first 10 minutes)

I'm a big ole nerd & I love me some Trek. Wasn't totally on board with Sylar, I mean New Spock but grew to accept it. However, the very first scene involving Kirk's parents and the evacuation of his mom whilst in-labor to an escape pod while his dad stayed on the bridge to detonate the ship manually--I was inconsolably bawling. Surprised the hell out of me too. Hello hormones.

Supernatural, pilot episode

This is probably one of the most frightening TV episodes I've ever seen, ranking right up there with "Home" from the X-files (back when it was good). The flashback scene in the first 15 minutes is so surprising and bloody, describing it doesn't do it justice. There are summaries of the episode online and I was going to link to one but when you see it written out, it doesn't seem that bad. But trust me, don't watch this if you're pregnant or just had a baby.

Overall, I find myself becoming really sensitive to violence in movies and TV now. I don't have the immunity to it that I once did. Also I find myself sort of weepy at the oddest things: pictures of puppies, sentimental music and don't even get me started on the movie UP. Be warned.

Media and Resources for Pregnancy

2009-06-06T22:37:00.000-07:00

Parenthood is one of those endeavors that sometimes doesn't get the preparation it deserves. I can't understand why people might think that the physiological changes and responsibility of nurturing a forming human being would require little to no study because it's what "we're meant to do." I guess the assumption is made that the example of one's parents serve as the template and will teach you most of what you need to know. But while I think my parents did a fine job and I will emulate some of what they did, I also believe that learning and applying the skills, tools and knowledge that it takes to be a successful parent (not just getting by) takes discipline and focus. After all, I went to college for 4 years just to form the baseline of my professional aptitude and this seems to fall into a headier endeavor than learning how to produce the news or make a video documentary.

While there are so many great resources out there for pregnancy and childbirth preparation, it can be overwhelming. Personally, though I can't get enough of it. If one were to come to our house right now, they'd find all sorts of media regarding pregnancy & parenting scattered about. Because I love lists, I thought it might be helpful to compile all the books, podcasts, videos and websites that we are looking at.

Books:

Your Week by Week Pregnancy

This is my favorite resource for what changes are going on for me, the growth of the baby and ideas for exercise.

Baby Bargains

Already mentioned how helpful this is in sorting through establishing the registry and figuring out what baby gear you may need.

Everything Baby Names Book

We're still working on names but this helped. The book also includes Polynesian and First Nation names if you are seeking them.

Afterbirth

This is a collection of stories that showcase the not so pretty but still poignant side of parenthood. It's a good grounding reference.

What to Expect When You're Expecting

This is supposedly the quintessential book that almost all expectant parents have. I am not fond of the monthly format (I prefer weekly or even daily) and it seems like this book contains all the bad things that can happen. It's a helpful book to have but not the only one you should read.

Happiest Baby on the Block

Our doula told us that there are only 5 things you need to know from this book and she could tell us these things in 15 minutes. We still have the book for reference though.

The Miraculous World of Your Unborn Baby

This book was given to us by Sue and has lots of pictures/photos of the developing fetus and what mom is going through. It's older but still something cool to track progress with.

Hatched

A humorous look at pregnancy and childbirth through still photos of posed, plastic chicks.

The Baby Book

A comprehensive guide to "attachment parenting" from birth and beyond.

Safe Baby Handling Tips

A humorous guide to good and bad ways of dealing with the baby's daily needs plus a "responsibility spinner" to help mom & dad decide who's going to change the next diaper.

The Expectant Father

A "dry & picture-less" guide to things that Ken says he already knows. But still probably a good reference for most dads to take a look at.

The Pregnancy Journal (Day to Day Guide)

If you're fascinated by all the changes you and baby are going through on a daily basis and you want to keep a journal, this is a book for you.

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child

Honestly, we haven't cracked this one yet. Have no idea if it's good or not.

Magazine:
Parenting

While it has some great idea cards you can rip out and take with you to entertain antsy children, this is mostly a collection of ads sprinkled with moderately interesting articles about parenthood.

DVDs:

In the Womb

We've watched this twice now. Fascinating chronicle of an English couple's pregnancy with 2-D, 3-D & 4-D images of their baby plus some graphical representations based on those images to show what babies do in the womb. Done by National Geographic. It's awesome.

Laugh and Learn about Childbirth

This came highly recommended by our neighbors and we will watch this soon.

The Gift of Motherhood (Book & DVD)

This came from my medical insurance company and we will watch this soon.

Podcasts (both available on iTunes):
Pea In the Podcast

Great weekly podcast to give you some in-depth discussion on a topic that is relevant to the stage of development you are in. Guest hosted with an OBGYN.

Baby Time

A Massachusetts couple logs their personal journey into parenthood with stories, advice and feedback from listeners.

Websites:
www.thebump.com
www.babycenter.com
www.americanpregnancy.org

Any other suggestions?

Pregnant celeb buddies

2009-06-05T18:00:00.000-07:00

This is totally irrelevant and ridiculous but hey, what the heck?

Ellen Pompeo (age 39), known as Meredith Grey on Grey's Anatomy,

and Sarah Michelle Gellar (age 32), famous for her role on Buffy the Vampire Slayer,

are both due with their first babies around the same time I am. Yay!

(Sarah also has excellent taste in Camelbak water bottles.)

23 weeks

2009-05-29T10:11:00.001-07:00

Ken said yesterday morning, "You really do look pregnant."
Good, so it's not just my imagination. I have seriously bumped out in recent days.

Follow-up on the Bee

2009-05-28T08:35:00.001-07:00

Alas, Ms. Eleanor made it to Round 5 and that is where the journey ended. But there is something to be said about being in the top 41 spellers in the country. I was following the live Twitter feed this morning and was all worked up like I get when watching the Olympics. We are so proud of Eleanor who has definitely earned some free time that doesn't involve spelling anything.

Here are some pics from earlier today.

All photos ©2008 Scripps National Spelling Bee.

Update on The Bee

2009-05-27T16:53:00.001-07:00

Eleanor made it to the semi-finals which are the top 50 spellers after three rounds of elimination today. She goes on stage tomorrow and if she makes the finals will be on ABC tomorrow night for the final rounds. Go Eleanor!

Congratulations to the Testas

2009-05-26T23:07:00.000-07:00

Looks like we're all going to share sleepless nights, diapering strategies and assertions of who's kid is better looking/smarter. We are thrilled to (finally) announce that Sean & Shannon will be joining us on the parenthood train. I believe they are ~10 weeks behind us so they are just coming out of the 1st trimester. Word on the street is that they told their families last weekend and there were many tears, hugs and smiles. We could not be more excited.

Looking forward to more updates, stories and fun times!

The Bee

2009-05-25T23:26:00.001-07:00

I am not a great speller and in the advent of spell check I have been spared the need to learn. But in this world there are prolific spellers, one of which I know. Eleanor Runde is the daughter of Bev's cousin and she qualified to participate in the National Spelling Bee in Washington DC this week.

There was also a video package on KOMO that featured her when she was competing at the regionals HERE.

We are thinking of Eleanor and her supporting family members as she gears up to compete at this competition that is rich in tradition and prestige. In it's current form, I guess the national spelling bee goes back to the 1920's. It's quite an accomplishment to be 1 of the 293 kids in the whole country who get to compete. Go Eleanor!

Another Week in Review

2009-05-25T21:36:00.000-07:00

Nursery prep continued this past week with the Wall Doctor folks installing a drywall ceiling and patching the lath & plaster walls. I expected it to be a lot messier but was pleasantly surprised. A week from now, we'll have the walls, ceiling and trim painted and primed. Crown and chair rail moulding will also be painted and installed. Looking forward to seeing the full transformation. Until then, Ken has been using the empty, echoy room as a Theremin practice space.

Ken left mid-week to go down to the Bay Area to do a training for work. On Friday I joined him and it was sort of a Babymoon trial run. Wetus reacted when the pressure changed around takeoff and landing but other than that not too bad. I definitely need to get a small pillow for lumbar support. The way they design those seats, it's like they want you to shrivel up into a little ball. I had a little issue with not feeling like I could get lung-fulls of air when we were at cruising altitude but I rolled up my sweater and placed it behind my upper back which opened my chest/shoulders--much better.

We had a delightful visit with Josh & Clover who are also expecting and are about 6 weeks behind us. Unfortunately Clover has not had an easy go of it and has been consistently nauseated thus far. We are all hoping that this will turn the corner now that she's out of the 1st trimester--any day now. Luckily for us, she was feeling well enough to help show us around.

Our first stop in Palo Alto was the historic home/garden of Elizabeth Gamble. Quite picturesque and Ken made the most of it.

We picked up food at this cool gourmet salad place called Sprout Cafe where everything is organic and you can make highly customized salads. For me, that was akin to walking into a Whole Foods. Like I had gone to my happy place. So awesome.

We took our gourmet salads to the Stanford University campus where we ate at picnic tables and watched a lot of bridal parties having their pictures taken. But I can see why they do have pics there. Very striking campus and you can feel the palpable air of high expectations. Josh & Clover met while attending school there and illuminated the many connections to the university and the uprising of Silicon Valley.

We passed by the birthplace of HP which is considered the catalyst of putting the Silicon Valley on the map. There is a plaque in the yard of a private residence but it's actually the garage that was "ground zero" for the company. I know, it's nerdy.

No visit to California would be complete without a stop at In N Out Burger. It is my second favorite fast food place to Burgerville.

Sunday before we left, Josh took us to the local farmer's market that (especially being in California) had the most delicious and exquisite organic strawberries, cherries & peaches I've ever seen. We loaded up and hoped that most of it would make it back to Seattle with us on the plane. It did, though Ken kept wanting to eat the strawberries as we drove home from the airport but even though they were organic, I wanted him to wait until we could get home to wash them.

For most people, that might not have been the most exciting trip but it was just my speed, the food, weather & company were great. I do get tired more easily and in warmer weather, I seem to have less energy reserve which is going to be a challenge when we hit the East Coast in 4 weeks. Overall, I was grateful to have some time with my husband, away from our household responsibilities while it it still just the 2 of us. There is more traveling ahead of course but I'm glad we eased into it with this first trip.

Week in Review

2009-05-17T21:51:00.000-07:00

This week was especially notable but I did a poor job of capturing it as it was happening. So just pretend this is an issue of Time or Newsweek and we'll look back on all the major stories with a wee bit of commentary.

Last Saturday/Sunday--Mother's Day weekend:
Austin surprised Mom by showing up here in Seattle during the Mother's Day weekend when she and Cindy came up to visit. It was a fun-filled 2 days that included a BBQ with the delightful Testas & Amy, plus a pre-funk visit with Sumeer. Mother got to drink a lot of wine and we had a raucous evening of celebrity true-stories told by Amy. I also broke out a tin of Cougar Gold. Here's some advice: if the pack date on the can predates Bush taking office, it's probably not good anymore. And it wasn't.

After a home-cooked breakfast the next morning by Mom and Cindy (they offered), we made a prerequisite visit to the Farmers Market especially to see the folks of Empire Ice Cream who are back for the season. Catch their Strawberry ice cream later this summer. It rocks.

Looking at earrings for Mother.

Even though I am not officially a momma yet, I received cards and presents(!) for Mother's Day which was an unexpected and wonderful thing. It's still pretty amazing to realize I will be in that category soon.

Monday--nursery prep, part one:
Austin stayed with us for a few days and helped us transform our fully packed office into an empty room for the nursery conversion. He did some major moving of items, Ethernet and speaker cable rewiring and made a pot of chili that is so spicy that Ken must eat the rest of it by himself.

Next week the Wall Doctor comes here to repair the cracks in the lath & plaster walls and to secure a drywall ceiling. We are looking forward to the upgrade and it's amazing how much stuff had to be moved out. But where is the office relocating in our ever shrinking house, you ask? Why, downstairs right outside the guest room, atop the newly cleaned carpets. Which by the way, looked incredible once they were cleaned. I wondered why we hadn't done it sooner since it wasn't that expensive.

Tuesday--Flight of the Conchords:
Austin's big birthday present from Mom and us this year was tickets to the Flight of the Conchords concert at the Paramount. First let me tell you that Amy sat with him since he got 2 tickets and pairing those two up harkens me back to our wedding day. There could not be two more opposite souls but they are fun to see interact. When first meeting her years ago, Austin suggested that she smelled like cabbage and needed a helmet. How many first impressions get off to that good a start?

The venue took pains to vex the scalpers from the primo seats (first 12 rows). If you were keen enough to get those seats during the internet presale (which I was for both pairs), you could only pick-up the tickets via will call an hour and half prior to the show, your entire group had to be present and once you entered the theater, there was no in/out privileges. So effectively you could not resell your tickets. Quite extreme but it was cool to know that we were sitting amongst fans who were savvy to get tickets and paid the same amount we did for them. It does get a bit crazy to get tickets to shows these days. You either have to jump on internet presales or be a fan and get notices months prior to the show date.

Thursday--Kick it: Aside from being the season finale of Grey's Anatomy that was rather shocking and a bit of a tear-jerker, Ken got to feel the baby kick for the first time! As I was waking up, I could feel The Wetus kicking but then I realized I could feel it with my hands so I grabbed his hand and (POW!) there it was. One of our favorite things to do now is play The Wetus some music before we go to bed via Ken's MP3 player and headphones. The Wetus will usually kick at the headphones (where the sound is coming from). Ken endeavors to introduce a range of music, including but not limited to the Bach Cello Suites, Finnish folk songs, Brazilian jazz and Beethoven's Greatest Hits. I guess we'll be reserving Depeche Mode, Radiohead, David Byrne, Genesis and The Killers for after it's born.

Friday--Baby 101:
Our neighbors, The Stewarts, who had Miss Emmy over 7 weeks ago, were kind enough to help educate us in the ways of real babies. Ken and I have many books on the subject, are signed up for several classes and have watched a few DVDs now. But nothing is quite like having a real live baby with real live situations.
Some of the major things we learned about:

Elimination Training: getting an infant accustomed to using a toilet. Did you know most of the world's children don't use diapers? It can be done if you can pick up on the baby's cues and start associating a sound with going to the bathroom.
White noise: Did you know a hairdryer can double as a white noise generator when baby needs to be soothed? Facing the dryer away, turn it on and set it next to their head for 30 secs or so. Works.
Vowel time: This could just be an Emmy thing but she is picking up on vowel sounds. If you catch her in an attentive mood, she will make sounds just like vowels so you just repeat them back to her. She seemed to be repeating them. What is truly amazing is realizing how much they comprehend even at that young an age.
Burping: Arms up and place baby's chest sort of over your shoulder whilst patting up and down the back. Gets big burps.
Butt Paste: Moisture barrier to avoid diaper rash. Use liberally.

So Friday was our training session. Next time we'll be in-charge but The Stewarts will still be onsite. One thing I have to overcome is that feeling of anxiety when the baby cries and despite what you do, nothing "fixes it." I notice they (and the cats) have a sense of patience and calm even when there is prolonged crying.

We are eternally grateful to have this level of interaction with an infant so close to the arrival of our own. Both of us have commented that the experience and awareness that we're getting will help us feel better prepared and confident. And not to be left out, the Tomassi-Nunnelly family, the Rich family & the Grimsrud family have also been very instructive to us specifically for the amount of time we've spent with those children at various developmental stages.

Quite a whirlwind of a week.

21 Weeks

2009-05-17T21:01:00.000-07:00

Progression of things

2009-05-07T21:55:00.000-07:00

Ken and I figured this out the other day...

Wetus, Waby, Woddler, Wadolescent, Weenager, Woung Adult

What does a baby actually need?

2009-05-05T19:43:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago in preparation for creating the ULTIMATE baby registry, I solicited feedback from my girlfriends who are moms. I got some great responses and have finally found the time to compile it. In conjunction with the advice, I cross-referenced with the highly recommended book, Baby Bargains. Reading this consumer reports-like, detailed reference combined with the advice of girlfriends, I felt fairly confident about what we needed without even having stepped into a store. Thanks ladies!

Feedback from Anne of Ohio; Karen, Shelly, Tracy of the Seattle Metro area; Jenny of Arlington; Amy of Vancouver; Sue of Portland; Heather of Wenatchee

Words of wisdom:

“Everything is subjective to your baby’s personality. You will find that this list varies. I'd love to see what you get back.” (Jenny)

“My first piece of advice is to borrow, borrow, borrow!!!! I think you will find that everyone has different opinions of what is 'necessary'.” (Shelly)

“You can't imagine how much you will love the noisiest, messiest, most demanding person you've ever met. But they are very sturdy. And, when you feel overwhelmed and are trying to figure things out--so are they. Plus, it goes by so very, very fast.” (Amy)

“For me I found a lot more things became 'essential' after my second one was born. With just one, convenience is the main concern.” (Amy)

Responses that had a majority of consensus:

1. Besides a crib and a car seat, what are the top products & gear you can't/couldn't live without?

Onesies
Bouncer/Swing/Pack’n Play/Exersaucer—basically a place to put baby where they can be safe while mom can have 15 minutes to get some stuff done.
Cloth diapers for burp cloths (lots of them)
Baby carrier—Baby Bjorn & Ergo Carrier were both suggested. Important qualities:

a. the baby doesn’t immediately outgrow it

b. doesn’t smash your boobs

c. something daddy will wear

d. doesn’t strain your back

Diaper Bag—one with backpack straps and something daddy is willing to carry and won’t be embarrassed. (Heck, something I’m willing to carry and won’t be embarrassed.)
Stroller—feedback is mixed on which kind is best. Clearly depends on the intended usage.
Breast Pump—Some insurance companies will pick up a large % of the cost on these. Definitely worth checking into. (Top rated brands: Ameda & Medela.)
Swaddling accessories, whether it be just a blanket or a specialized unit. Most everyone mentioned this in some form.
Baby Ear Thermometer
Outlet covers

2. What things did you realize you needed once the baby(s) arrived that weren't obvious?

Soothies: gel packs you put in the fridge/freezer that give relief after breast feeding
Nursing Pads: for leakage

3. What things can we live without/should avoid buying because they are a waste of money?

The one thing pretty much everyone loved to hate: the wipe warmer
Free standing High chair—instead get one that just straps to a regular chair

Responses from Individuals

1. Top products & gear you can't/couldn't live without

Pacifiers
Diaper Cream
Flannel Crib Sheets
Cotton Lap Pads
Book: Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child
Book or DVD: Happiest Baby on the Block
Dimmer light switch in parents’ and baby's room.
CD player in baby's room
Rocking chair or rocker glider chair
Nursing pillow like a Boppy
Bathtub Foam Pad
Sleeping Gowns
Lansinoh Lanolin - Nursing Cream
Comfortable Nursing Bra that can be worn at night
Shopping Cart/Restaurant HighChair Cover

2. Products you can live without

Pacifiers
Bottles that have many parts and are hard to clean
Diaper Genie—just use the garbage can because these reek
Silly little outfits that are a pain to put on, esp. things that need ironing
Bottle warmer.
Special baby bath tub (a sink works just fine)
Plastic Bathtub Seat
Mobile

So while there is some agreement in the lists above, it's clear to me that every baby reacts differently to certain products and every family has different priorities & values when it comes to baby gear. The baby industry is not a multi-billion dollar market for nothing. But as first time parents-to-be, it's really overwhelming and we had to start somewhere so I am thankful for how candid and specific some of these moms got in their responses to me.

I ended up creating not 2, not 3, not 4 but 5 store registries to encapsulate all of the specific items we finally chose. It’s not that the volume of items is all that large but to find some of the BPA free or organic items or specific brands, it took going through Babies R Us, Target, Bed Bath & Beyond (yes, they have baby stuff!), Amazon and a place in Portland called Ecobaby to get it all. With a wedding registry, it's just about stuff you want in your house and things that will make 2 adults happy. When it's a baby registry, there's all this pressure to get things that are safe, useful, well-rated and appropriate. And then of course you don't have to get it all new--but watch for recalls and there are some things you just should not get second hand. (Sigh)

Do-wha?

2009-05-05T16:05:00.000-07:00

We've been some busy bees here at Wetus Central. Not only are we setting up registries (more on that in a separate post) & emptying our current home office that will soon be a nursery, but we are interviewing doulas.

This is a person (99% of the time a woman) who assists you in childbirth. She is sort of a labor and birth expert who can be with the woman & her significant other throughout the entire process. She does not actually deliver the baby or give medical advice but has many strategies for working through labor, providing comfort and has extensive knowledge on what happens during the childbirth process. Good doulas get certified and attend a requisite number of births before they strike out on their own. Seattle is quite a hot bed for doulas and they have a very established network here. Their commitment to the process of birthing and their support for the couples they work with is exceptional. Having had a wedding coordinator, I liken doulas to "birthing coordinators".

I would like as many options available to us as possible in childbirth. We will be delivering in a hospital and because we're in that setting, I know there will be a tendency to push us toward more intervention. But if we are low risk at the outset, I would like very much to try to have a natural experience in the best equipped location. The doula is also a resource for Ken as it can be pretty intimidating and fatiguing to support a laboring wife. So this lady will be as much for me as it is for him. We're going to inteview about 4 different ladies and see which one meshes with our personalities and philosophy best.

All that said, we were told by the doctor at the last ultrasound that at 18 weeks I am showing complete (but not central) placenta previa. This means that right now the blood-rich placenta is covering the opening of my cervix. That's problematic for a number of reasons including the possibility of bleeding during pregnancy, pre-term delivery and an automatic c-section if it doesn't move. However we are only halfway through the pregnancy and the lower part of the uterus has yet to expand to its full capacity. This means that the placenta could "move up" and recede from the cervical opening. This would eliminate the concerns and put a natural childbirth back on the table. But we won't know if that will happen for a few more weeks so until then I am banned from any major straining/lifting or rigorous activities. (Oh twist my arm) My doc said not to do things like jumping jacks. But when was the last time I did that--high school gym? Anyway, I'm trying to stay mellow about all this and just enjoy the growing quantity and intensity of Wetus kicks I get throughout the day.

Hello Wetus

2009-04-27T22:49:00.000-07:00

Here we are at 18 weeks. It's pretty amazing to think about how much time has gone by. I can feel the early movements of our baby and it is an amazing tickly feeling from the inside. We have nicknamed our unborn child "The Wetus" because one night I was reading to Ken from a pregnancy book and the phrase "weight of the fetus" came up. I was so tired that I just said "...the wetus..." and we both knew that was its name. We have great fun talking about what the Wetus likes or dislikes. Ken regularly sings to the Wetus before bed. People have cautioned us that the name may stick if we use it long enough but since we're not going to find out what gender the baby is, we need to call it something.

Today we had our second trimester ultrasound. This is the one where they measure EVERYTHING. While my apprehension going into this ultrasound was considerably lower than last time, that all changed once we were introduced to our sonogram technician who was an intern. I'm all for learning but it took an hour to do something that probably would have taken a practiced technician half that time. The Wetus was not cooperating and moving all over the place, granted, but she was really pushing hard on my tummy and it got a little fatiguing after awhile. But all in all, we got a good report and some more time looking at the baby. It's pretty amazing to see how active it is in there and to realize I feel very little of it at this stage. I know that will change.

Depeche Mode: Sounds of the Universe

2009-04-20T14:32:00.001-07:00

My favorite band of all time, Depeche Mode releases their 12th album today called Sounds of the Universe.

This is an in-studio live version of my favorite song so far called Come Back. Take a listen...

Nostalgia Tripping

2009-04-18T10:09:00.000-07:00

For better or for worse, I save everything people send me. Letters, pictures, cards, drawings, notes passed in class… you name it. Tonight I finally sorted through this stuff with the intent to purge. Some I’ve been holding onto for years. Years. Letters my cousin wrote me in 1985, birthday cards from first grade, letters & cards from when I did an exchange in Japan in 1990, letters, cards and pictures when I went to college for a year in London 1994-5, correspondence from my Japanese host family and of course all the naive, retrospectfully regretful, tragically bitter-sweet or just plain bitter letters I’ve received from former boyfriends over the years. Now some are poetic, sweet and worthy of publishing, but some are obsessive, ridiculous and just plain “uggh”. While rereading, I found myself amazed at what these guys wrote. That I would inspire them to write such things—usually complimentary (and sometimes, not)—ended up making me feel like I’m reading someone else’s letters. Who is this crazy girl? Someone I only vaguely remember yet am. It’s a real mind bender.

I’ve been hanging on to all this stuff but I don’t really know why. There are things I’ll keep because of the sheer novelty of “letters sent.” Rarely do you write your feelings out with a pen anymore, but the other reason is the nostalgia and amazement I feel when I reread some of this stuff. It immediately transports me back to being 15, 16, 18, 21 and what was going on at the time. Events, people and places I’d forgotten have now been refreshed within the perspective of current day. It’s bizarre doing all this time traveling. Ken was doing the exact same thing last night going through stacks and stacks of old pictures he’s stored in the basement closet. The reason for all this nostalgia tripping: with room/storage being at a premium now with “the Wetus” on the way, we are going through all of our belongings and making sure we still really want this stuff around and optimizing our space. Next up is going through all the school papers and projects I also saved for some unexplained reason…

Simply. Unbelievable.

2009-04-18T09:40:00.000-07:00

Click this link and prepare to be delightfully stunned--seriously.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPZh4AnWyk

Meet Susan Boyle, international sensation and proof that you really can't judge a book by it's cover (so cliche, I know--but true.)