Me and My Boys

On Sheep, Wolves and Sheepdogs

2009-11-11T19:59:00.001-06:00

From the book On Combat by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman

"Honor never grows old, and honor rejoices the heart of age. It does so because honor is, finally, about defending those noble and worthy things that deserve defending, even if it comes at a high cost. In our time, that may mean social disapproval, public scorn, hardship, persecution, or as always, even death itself.
The question remains: What is worth defending? What is worth dying for? What is worth living for?"

- William J. Bennett
In a lecture to the United States Naval Academy
November 24, 1997

One Vietnam veteran, an old retired colonel, once said this to me: “Most of the people in our society are sheep. They are kind, gentle, productive creatures who can only hurt one another by accident.” This is true. Remember, the murder rate is six per 100,000 per year, and the aggravated assault rate is four per 1,000 per year. What this means is that the vast majority of Americans are not inclined to hurt one another.

Some estimates say that two million Americans are victims of violent crimes every year, a tragic, staggering number, perhaps an all-time record rate of violent crime. But there are almost 300 million Americans, which means that the odds of being a victim of violent crime is considerably less than one in a hundred on any given year. Furthermore, since many violent crimes are committed by repeat offenders, the actual number of violent citizens is considerably less than two million.

Thus there is a paradox, and we must grasp both ends of the situation: We may well be in the most violent times in history, but violence is still remarkably rare. This is because most citizens are kind, decent people who are not capable of hurting each other, except by accident or under extreme provocation. They are sheep.

I mean nothing negative by calling them sheep. To me it is like the pretty, blue robin’s egg. Inside it is soft and gooey but someday it will grow into something wonderful. But the egg cannot survive without its hard blue shell. Police officers, soldiers and other warriors are like that shell, and someday the civilization they protect will grow into something wonderful. For now, though, they need warriors to protect them from the predators.
“Then there are the wolves,” the old war veteran said, “and the wolves feed on the sheep without mercy.” Do you believe there are wolves out there who will feed on the flock without mercy? You better believe it. There are evil men in this world and they are capable of evil deeds. The moment you forget that or pretend it is not so, you become a sheep. There is no safety in denial.

“Then there are sheepdogs,” he went on, “and I’m a sheepdog. I live to protect the flock and confront the wolf.” Or, as a sign in one California law enforcement agency put it, “We intimidate those who intimidate others.”

If you have no capacity for violence then you are a healthy productive citizen: a sheep. If you have a capacity for violence and no empathy for your fellow citizens, then you have defined an aggressive sociopath--a wolf. But what if you have a capacity for violence, and a deep love for your fellow citizens? Then you are a sheepdog, a warrior, someone who is walking the hero’s path. Someone who can walk into the heart of darkness, into the universal human phobia, and walk out unscathed.

The gift of aggression

"What goes on around you... compares little with what goes on inside you."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Everyone has been given a gift in life. Some people have a gift for science and some have a flair for art. And warriors have been given the gift of aggression. They would no more misuse this gift than a doctor would misuse his healing arts, but they yearn for the opportunity to use their gift to help others. These people, the ones who have been blessed with the gift of aggression and a love for others, are our sheepdogs. These are our warriors.

One career police officer wrote to me about this after attending one of my Bulletproof Mind training sessions:

"I want to say thank you for finally shedding some light on why it is that I can do what I do. I always knew why I did it. I love my [citizens], even the bad ones, and had a talent that I could return to my community. I just couldn’t put my finger on why I could wade through the chaos, the gore, the sadness, if given a chance try to make it all better, and walk right out the other side."

Let me expand on this old soldier’s excellent model of the sheep, wolves, and sheepdogs. We know that the sheep live in denial; that is what makes them sheep. They do not want to believe that there is evil in the world. They can accept the fact that fires can happen, which is why they want fire extinguishers, fire sprinklers, fire alarms and fire exits throughout their kids’ schools. But many of them are outraged at the idea of putting an armed police officer in their kid’s school. Our children are dozens of times more likely to be killed, and thousands of times more likely to be seriously injured, by school violence than by school fires, but the sheep’s only response to the possibility of violence is denial. The idea of someone coming to kill or harm their children is just too hard, so they choose the path of denial.

The sheep generally do not like the sheepdog. He looks a lot like the wolf. He has fangs and the capacity for violence. The difference, though, is that the sheepdog must not, cannot and will not ever harm the sheep. Any sheepdog who intentionally harms the lowliest little lamb will be punished and removed. The world cannot work any other way, at least not in a representative democracy or a republic such as ours.

Still, the sheepdog disturbs the sheep. He is a constant reminder that there are wolves in the land. They would prefer that he didn’t tell them where to go, or give them traffic tickets, or stand at the ready in our airports in camouflage fatigues holding an M-16. The sheep would much rather have the sheepdog cash in his fangs, spray paint himself white, and go, “Baa.”

Until the wolf shows up. Then the entire flock tries desperately to hide behind one lonely sheepdog. As Kipling said in his poem about “Tommy” the British soldier:

While it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, fall be'ind,"
But it's "Please to walk in front, sir," when there's trouble in the wind,
There's trouble in the wind, my boys, there's trouble in the wind,
O it's "Please to walk in front, sir," when there's trouble in the wind.

The students, the victims, at Columbine High School were big, tough high school students, and under ordinary circumstances they would not have had the time of day for a police officer. They were not bad kids; they just had nothing to say to a cop. When the school was under attack, however, and SWAT teams were clearing the rooms and hallways, the officers had to physically peel those clinging, sobbing kids off of them. This is how the little lambs feel about their sheepdog when the wolf is at the door. Look at what happened after September 11, 2001, when the wolf pounded hard on the door. Remember how America, more than ever before, felt differently about their law enforcement officers and military personnel? Remember how many times you heard the word hero?

Understand that there is nothing morally superior about being a sheepdog; it is just what you choose to be. Also understand that a sheepdog is a funny critter: He is always sniffing around out on the perimeter, checking the breeze, barking at things that go bump in the night, and yearning for a righteous battle. That is, the young sheepdogs yearn for a righteous battle. The old sheepdogs are a little older and wiser, but they move to the sound of the guns when needed right along with the young ones.

Here is how the sheep and the sheepdog think differently. The sheep pretend the wolf will never come, but the sheepdog lives for that day. After the attacks on September 11, 2001, most of the sheep, that is, most citizens in America said, “Thank God I wasn’t on one of those planes.” The sheepdogs, the warriors, said, “Dear God, I wish I could have been on one of those planes. Maybe I could have made a difference.” When you are truly transformed into a warrior and have truly invested yourself into warriorhood, you want to be there. You want to be able to make a difference.

While there is nothing morally superior about the sheepdog, the warrior, he does have one real advantage. Only one. He is able to survive and thrive in an environment that destroys 98 percent of the population.

There was research conducted a few years ago with individuals convicted of violent crimes. These cons were in prison for serious, predatory acts of violence: assaults, murders and killing law enforcement officers. The vast majority said that they specifically targeted victims by body language: slumped walk, passive behavior and lack of awareness. They chose their victims like big cats do in Africa, when they select one out of the herd that is least able to protect itself.

However, when there were cues given by potential victims that indicated they would not go easily, the cons said that they would walk away. If the cons sensed that the target was a "counter-predator," that is, a sheepdog, they would leave him alone unless there was no other choice but to engage.

One police officer told me that he rode a commuter train to work each day. One day, as was his usual, he was standing in the crowded car, dressed in blue jeans, T-shirt and jacket, holding onto a pole and reading a paperback. At one of the stops, two street toughs boarded, shouting and cursing and doing every obnoxious thing possible to intimidate the other riders. The officer continued to read his book, though he kept a watchful eye on the two punks as they strolled along the aisle making comments to female passengers, and banging shoulders with men as they passed.

As they approached the officer, he lowered his novel and made eye contact with them. “You got a problem, man?” one of the IQ-challenged punks asked. “You think you’re tough, or somethin’?” the other asked, obviously offended that this one was not shirking away from them.

“As a matter of fact, I am tough,” the officer said, calmly and with a steady gaze.

The two looked at him for a long moment, and then without saying a word, turned and moved back down the aisle to continue their taunting of the other passengers, the sheep.

Some people may be destined to be sheep and others might be genetically primed to be wolves or sheepdogs. But I believe that most people can choose which one they want to be, and I’m proud to say that more and more Americans are choosing to become sheepdogs.

Seven months after the attack on September 11, 2001, Todd Beamer was honored in his hometown of Cranbury, New Jersey. Todd, as you recall, was the man on Flight 93 over Pennsylvania who called on his cell phone to alert an operator from United Airlines about the hijacking. When he learned of the other three passenger planes that had been used as weapons, Todd dropped his phone and uttered the words, “Let’s roll,” which authorities believe was a signal to the other passengers to confront the terrorist hijackers. In one hour, a transformation occurred among the passengers--athletes, business people and parents--from sheep to sheepdogs and together they fought the wolves, ultimately saving an unknown number of lives on the ground.

“Do you have any idea how hard it would be to live with yourself after that?”

"here is no safety for honest men except by believing all possible evil of evil men."
- Edmund Burke
Reflections on the Revolution in France
Here is the point I like to emphasize, especially to the thousands of police officers and soldiers I speak to each year. In nature the sheep, real sheep, are born as sheep. Sheepdogs are born that way, and so are wolves. They didn’t have a choice. But you are not a critter. As a human being, you can be whatever you want to be. It is a conscious, moral decision.
If you want to be a sheep, then you can be a sheep and that is okay, but you must understand the price you pay. When the wolf comes, you and your loved ones are going to die if there is not a sheepdog there to protect you. If you want to be a wolf, you can be one, but the sheepdogs are going to hunt you down and you will never have rest, safety, trust or love. But if you want to be a sheepdog and walk the warrior’s path, then you must make a conscious and moral decision every day to dedicate, equip and prepare yourself to thrive in that toxic, corrosive moment when the wolf comes knocking at the door.

For example, many officers carry their weapons in church. They are well concealed in ankle holsters, shoulder holsters or inside-the-belt holsters tucked into the small of their backs. Anytime you go to some form of religious service, there is a very good chance that a police officer in your congregation is carrying. You will never know if there is such an individual in your place of worship, until the wolf appears to slaughter you and your loved ones.

I was training a group of police officers in Texas, and during the break, one officer asked his friend if he carried his weapon in church. The other cop replied, “I will never be caught without my gun in church.” I asked why he felt so strongly about this, and he told me about a police officer he knew who was at a church massacre in Ft. Worth, Texas, in 1999. In that incident, a mentally deranged individual came into the church and opened fire, gunning down 14 people. He said that officer believed he could have saved every life that day if he had been carrying his gun. His own son was shot, and all he could do was throw himself on the boy’s body and wait to die. That cop looked me in the eye and said, “Do you have any idea how hard it would be to live with yourself after that?”

Some individuals would be horrified if they knew this police officer was carrying a weapon in church. They might call him paranoid and would probably scorn him. Yet these same individuals would be enraged and would call for “heads to roll” if they found out that the airbags in their cars were defective, or that the fire extinguisher and fire sprinklers in their kids’ school did not work. They can accept the fact that fires and traffic accidents can happen and that there must be safeguards against them. Their only response to the wolf, though, is denial, and all too often their response to the sheepdog is scorn and disdain. But the sheepdog quietly asks himself, “Do you have any idea how hard it would be to live with yourself if your loved ones were attacked and killed, and you had to stand there helplessly because you were unprepared for that day?”

The warrior must cleanse denial from his thinking. Coach Bob Lindsey, a renowned law enforcement trainer, says that warriors must practice “when/then” thinking, not “if/when.” Instead of saying,“If it happens then I will take action,” the warrior says, “When it happens then I will be ready.”

It is denial that turns people into sheep. Sheep are psychologically destroyed by combat because their only defense is denial, which is counterproductive and destructive, resulting in fear, helplessness and horror when the wolf shows up.

Denial kills you twice. It kills you once, at your moment of truth when you are not physically prepared: You didn’t bring your gun; you didn’t train. Your only defense was wishful thinking. Hope is not a strategy. Denial kills you a second time because even if you do physically survive, you are psychologically shattered by fear, helplessness, horror and shame at your moment of truth.

Chuck Yeager, the famous test pilot and first man to fly faster than the speed of sound, says that he knew he could die. There was no denial for him. He did not allow himself the luxury of denial. This acceptance of reality can cause fear, but it is a healthy, controlled fear that will keep you alive:

"I was always afraid of dying. Always. It was my fear that made me learn everything I could about my airplane and my emergency equipment, and kept me flying respectful of my machine and always alert in the cockpit."
- Brigadier General Chuck Yeager
Yeager, An Autobiography
Gavin de Becker puts it like this in Fear Less, his superb post-9/11 book, which should be required reading for anyone trying to come to terms with our current world situation:

"..denial can be seductive, but it has an insidious side effect. For all the peace of mind deniers think they get by saying it isn’t so, the fall they take when faced with new violence is all the more unsettling. Denial is a save-now-pay-later scheme, a contract written entirely in small print, for in the long run, the denying person knows the truth on some level."
And so the warrior must strive to confront denial in all aspects of his life, and prepare himself for the day when evil comes.

If you are a warrior who is legally authorized to carry a weapon and you step outside without that weapon, then you become a sheep, pretending that the bad man will not come today. No one can be “on” 24/7 for a lifetime. Everyone needs down time. But if you are authorized to carry a weapon, and you walk outside without it, just take a deep breath, and say this to yourself... “Baa.”

This business of being a sheep or a sheepdog is not a yes-no dichotomy. It is not an all-or-nothing, either-or choice. It is a matter of degrees, a continuum. On one end is an abject, head-in-the-grass sheep and on the other end is the ultimate warrior. Few people exist completely on one end or the other. Most of us live somewhere in between. Since 9-11 almost everyone in America took a step up that continuum, away from denial. The sheep took a few steps toward accepting and appreciating their warriors, and the warriors started taking their job more seriously. The degree to which you move up that continuum, away from sheephood and denial, is the degree to which you and your loved ones will survive, physically and psychologically at your moment of truth.

Nantucket, I applaud you!

2009-10-31T11:56:00.003-05:00

Nantucket not only recycles most of their trash, but their landfill is actually shrinking. Click here for more.

If they can do it, so can the rest of us. Hopefully it doesn't take too long to figure that out.

The associated article is here. Looks like it's catching on.

Freezing rain...

2009-10-11T09:51:00.002-05:00

My front yard:

Work update:

2009-10-03T15:33:00.003-05:00

Finally got email/network access on Thursday. It's amazing how much more work I can get done when I don't have to drive to the library, email a document to myself, drive back to work, kick someone off their computer, just to print a page. Or, save it on their desktop to email to someone else...

I love earthquakes. But...

2009-10-03T15:29:00.002-05:00

This? Very scary.

That's seventy-nine earthquakes (map), starting at an 8.0 (!!) and aftershocking in the 4s and 5s for days.

The biggest earthquake I've personally experienced was probably in the 5 range. I cannot imagine going through what the people in that part of the world have been going through. And this, of course, is just one of the many earthquake disasters in recent history.

Finally officially working, but...

2009-09-20T09:16:00.002-05:00

still without internet access at the office. Grrrr.

Duties: The Family Readiness Support Assistant (FRSA) serves as the administrative assistant for the units Family Readiness Group (FRG) Program. The incumbent performs a variety of clerical, technical, and administrative duties, and implements and maintains family support services for family members separated from the military sponsor due to mobilization/deployment or other duty requirements. Contribute to combat readiness by promoting efficient and effective communication. Demonstrate sensitivity to the diverse needs of mobilized or deployed soldiers and family members. Maintains oversight of FRG activities and updates the commander. Provide assistance, information, referral, and follow-up on all areas of FRG programs. Identifies family readiness requirements and participates in the development of local programs and policies. Maintain knowledge of latest changes in the FRG Program, Army Family policy and community resources. Assist with maintenance of the unit's virtual FRG and AKO websites.

See how much of that requires internet? Communication? Mostly via email. Websites? Obviously on the internet. Keeping in the loop? Yep, all the information distro is via email.

What's the holdup? I submitted paperwork for my background check near the end of August. The proper procedure is for the powers-that-be to start/finish my background check at the same time I'm waiting for my official paperwork to get through the system so that I can get my ID/computer access card. The paperwork for the card happened faster than the background check. So, the intelligence folks at my workplace submitted the request for network access with an old clearance investigation. Hopefully it'll still work (it did at Ft Jackson a few years ago), but if not, I'm hoping they'll check the system on their own and see if the background check has been completed and run with that.

Until then, I'm trying my very best to be patient, and running to the library with my personal laptop to handle the internet stuff that needs to be done. Not very efficient, but it'll work in a pinch.

I'm enjoying the job so far. Lots of fantastic people. I'll be very happy to be completely up and running.

How cool is this?!

2009-09-20T09:05:00.001-05:00

Co-workers discover they're really brothers.

Another wow.

2009-08-13T10:20:00.001-05:00

If all goes according to plan, cancer survivor Kyle Garlett will compete in October's Ford Ironman World Championship, a grueling triathlon made up of a 2.4-mile ocean swim, a 112-mile bicycle ride and a 26.2-mile run. And he'll do it with another man's heart pumping in his chest. "I don't think there's anybody who wouldn't consider me a success story and a survivor," Garlett said.

His medical issues began in 1989 when he received his first Hodgkin's disease diagnosis as a high school senior. In 1995, during his third battle with the cancer, doctors ceased his chemotherapy treatment when they discovered it had weakened his heart. Two years later, Garlett learned he had secondary leukemia as a result of chemotherapy to treat the Hodgkin's, and three more years of chemotherapy ensued. And after five years on the waiting list, he received a new heart in 2006.

Now, the 37-year-old savors his body's capabilities. "It's kind of like the starving person who all of a sudden finds himself in front of a buffet. And now I've got the buffet. I've got my all-you-can-eat plate, and I'm just loading it up," Garlett said.

More here.

Wow.

2009-08-06T11:48:00.004-05:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gibraltar_Airport

Almost there...

2009-07-31T02:00:00.001-05:00

I was called tonight by my soon-to-be boss. Yes, a job offer is extremely imminent!! Plus, I didn't think I would start working until October, but apparently funding has come through to start me as soon as the paperwork can be completed.

Outstanding.

Fer real, transparent aluminum!

2009-07-31T01:58:00.000-05:00

http://www.ox.ac.uk/media/news_stories/2009/090727_2.html

Oxford scientists have created a transparent form of aluminium by bombarding the metal with the world’s most powerful soft X-ray laser. ‘Transparent aluminium’ previously only existed in science fiction, featuring in the movie Star Trek IV, but the real material is an exotic new state of matter with implications for planetary science and nuclear fusion.

In this week’s Nature Physics an international team, led by Oxford University scientists, report that a short pulse from the FLASH laser ‘knocked out’ a core electron from every aluminium atom in a sample without disrupting the metal’s crystalline structure. This turned the aluminium nearly invisible to extreme ultraviolet radiation.

''What we have created is a completely new state of matter nobody has seen before,’ said Professor Justin Wark of Oxford University’s Department of Physics, one of the authors of the paper. ‘Transparent aluminium is just the start. The physical properties of the matter we are creating are relevant to the conditions inside large planets, and we also hope that by studying it we can gain a greater understanding of what is going on during the creation of 'miniature stars' created by high-power laser implosions, which may one day allow the power of nuclear fusion to be harnessed here on Earth.’

The discovery was made possible with the development of a new source of radiation that is ten billion times brighter than any synchrotron in the world (such as the UK’s Diamond Light Source). The FLASH laser, based in Hamburg, Germany, produces extremely brief pulses of soft X-ray light, each of which is more powerful than the output of a power plant that provides electricity to a whole city.

The Oxford team, along with their international colleagues, focused all this power down into a spot with a diameter less than a twentieth of the width of a human hair. At such high intensities the aluminium turned transparent.

Whilst the invisible effect lasted for only an extremely brief period – an estimated 40 femtoseconds – it demonstrates that such an exotic state of matter can be created using very high power X-ray sources.

Professor Wark added: ‘What is particularly remarkable about our experiment is that we have turned ordinary aluminium into this exotic new material in a single step by using this very powerful laser. For a brief period the sample looks and behaves in every way like a new form of matter. In certain respects, the way it reacts is as though we had changed every aluminium atom into silicon: it’s almost as surprising as finding that you can turn lead into gold with light!’

The researchers believe that the new approach is an ideal way to create and study such exotic states of matter and will lead to further work relevant to areas as diverse as planetary science, astrophysics and nuclear fusion power.

A report of the research, ‘Turning solid aluminium transparent by intense soft X-ray photoionization’, is published in Nature Physics. The research was carried out by an international team led by Oxford University scientists Professor Justin Wark, Dr Bob Nagler, Dr Gianluca Gregori, William Murphy, Sam Vinko and Thomas Whitcher.

Just for fun...

2009-06-27T10:59:00.000-05:00

Reminds me of RPI...

2009-06-05T12:30:00.004-05:00

Click to see entire strip.

Laughing so hard I'm crying...

2009-06-05T12:21:00.003-05:00

Click to see entire strip.

Happy 3rd, Kaden

2009-05-25T17:50:00.004-05:00

Today, please remember...

2009-05-25T09:01:00.000-05:00

Flowers arrived at Capt. Marissa Alexander's office at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, on June 3, 2005. Her husband, Staff Sgt. Leroy Alexander, was half a world away fighting with the Special Forces in Afghanistan, but he had found a way to send a floral arrangement to his wife, who was five months pregnant with twins. "He called me and asked me what building I worked in. He said he had to update some records," Alexander said. The flowers lifted her spirits.

But a few hours later, her emotions would be thrown into a tailspin. Alexander saw two Army officers in dress uniforms knock on her front door. One of the officers started to talk: "We regret to inform you..." If he said any more, Alexander doesn't remember. "The next memory I have is in my kitchen, banging on the floor. I just couldn't believe it," she said. The good feelings from flowers delivered a few hours before were gone, replaced by shock, pain and mourning. A roadside bomb had made her a widow.

Staff Sgt. Alexander now lies in Arlington National Cemetery's Section 60, where 500 soldiers, Marines, airmen and sailors who have died in Iraq and Afghanistan are buried. For years Section 60 has been the one of busiest parts of the cemetery. Every day new burials bring precision marches, the somber tones of taps and the nerve-rattling three-gun salutes.

Then there are family and friends who come to the graves to make an emotional connection to their lost loved ones.

Memorial Day weekend brings even more activity and more visitors. Adults, even some uniformed generals, walk slowly between the rows and rows of headstones, looking for a familiar name. But small children often seem to find the cemetery a place to explore, even play. Their smiles and curiosity remind grown-ups that even in a place synonymous with death, life goes on.

A sense of community has emerged in Section 60. "I've come here at times and I've met people who were paying remembrances to their loved ones. You become friendly," Capt. Alexander said. "You see each other sometimes and you make a friendship because you know that your loved ones died for the same cause."

Angie Capra's husband is buried a few yards from Leroy Alexander. Air Force Tech Sgt. Anthony Capra was an explosive ordnance disposal expert, killed trying disarm a bomb in Iraq. "Other widows will come by and put something on there for me if they don't see me. They'll put down flowers. It's kind of a community," Capra said.

More than flowers adorn the graves in Section 60. Visitors of all faiths have picked up the ancient Jewish tradition of leaving a small stone on the headstones to show that a visitor had been to the grave. In most cases these are pebbles found near the grave. But some people have taken to leaving colored glass beads or elaborately painted stones with shamrocks or words like "hero."

Capra recently found a small Yoda figure on her husband's grave. She doesn't know who left it, but it must have been a friend, because her husband loved "Star Wars." "We never know who puts stuff" on the headstone, she said.

Some mementos leave one to wonder about the story behind them. Like the headstone topped by a tiny bottle of Tabasco hot sauce. Or a set of dog tags with a name that didn't match the name on the headstone. There is another topped by a small Lego toy, perhaps left by a child whose father died in a far-off land before they even knew each other. Or the grave adorned with an empty bottle of Bud Light, a rubber duck and a candle. Nearby an empty Wild Turkey bottle is the lone addition to the grave of a soldier who died in a country where drinking alcohol is strictly forbidden.

Capra has found a variety of items on Tony's headstone. "Coins, lots of rocks, candy. My husband was a candy freak," Capra said. "There was a cross. A little necklace, Mardi Gras beads during Mardi Gras season. Anything they have they'll put on top to show that they are thinking about them at the time." Alexander seems to draw strength from the items she finds. "Someone came and did a picture of Lee, and it was a hand-drawn picture. I thought that was very interesting," she said. "People who haven't been seen in years will leave a note of some sort. It's nice to know that you've been remembered after all of this time. To know that we have friends who still love and support us, that is just wonderful."

Section 60 has been called the "saddest acre in America," and without a doubt sadness abounds. But so do comfort, support and even an occasional smile.

Source

Why...? Was it worth it?

2009-05-24T09:52:00.003-05:00

I'm about as anti-NRA as a sane, rational person can be. Read this:

May 24th, 2009
Two killed in Arizona standoff
Posted: 05:32 AM ET
(CNN) — Two people were fatally shot and another five injured — including a police officer — during a standoff Sunday at a home in Arizona, authorities said.

The multiple shooting in Mesa occurred when a man got into an altercation during a graduation party, said Sgt. Ed Wessing, a spokesman for the Mesa Police Department.

Authorities did not immediately say what led to the altercation.

The suspect went to his car, got a gun and shot two people dead on the front lawn, Wessing said.

Police were eventually able to persuade him to leave the house and give himself up, Wessing said.

The injured included a 10-year-old who suffered a grazing wound to the head. The suspect also fired at police who arrived at the scene. One officer was shot in the arm, Wessing said.

All five suffered minor injuries, he said.

Mesa is a suburb of Phoenix, the capital.

^ — CNN’s Sara Pratley contributed to this report.

So rather than just haul off and punch the guy (which I don't condone, but it's better than what happened), he went to his car and got his gun. Killed two people over an argument. About what? Was it worth spending years in prison to be right?

I know it's too late for this country (in that changing the laws won't remove guns from our society), but I'd be lying if I said I never thought about moving somewhere else with stricter gun laws.

Let's do a time warp!

2009-05-24T09:07:00.003-05:00

The geoblogosphere is doing a call for posts (an Accretionary Wedge). While this isn't strictly a geoblog, geology is my thing. So, readers, where and when would you most like to visit to witness and analyze an event in Earth’s history?

Suppose you have a space-time machine to (safely and comfortably) watch an event unfold; which event would you most like to see? Why? What do we already know or hypothesize about that event that appeals to you, or that you would like to test? What would be the result, the upshot, of knowing more about this event? You do not necessarily need to limit yourself to Earth, nor to the past. You do not need to limit yourself to a particular instant if peeking several times over a period of minutes or ages helps you envision the evolution of something. You do not need to limit yourself to environments that could support life as we know it... imagine being able to take a time-sampling of magmatic composition from 10 miles below the surface as a nascent mid-ocean ridge opens up, or examining the circumference of the vent during one of Yellowstone's mega-eruptions! I'll tell you, this technology is basically magic. (See the third law here.) Feel free to toss in a few "also-rans" of your favorite day-dreams, but please develop one. This isn't intended to be just a set of lists.

Anyone? If you'd like to play along, please either leave a comment here or post in your own blog and leave me a link.

My baby is three today!!

2009-05-24T09:05:00.001-05:00

Pictures will follow. We're having a (very) small get-together with our best friends. Presents, cake, and probably hours on the playground in our backyard.

Happy birthday, K-Kaden!!

sigh

2009-05-21T14:57:00.004-05:00

Found this here. Click on the image to enlarge.

Text of handwritten note:

Note: Just to let you know it is not that we don't believe in things like that it is just misleading when you speak about it being billions of year old, when we all know that the world is only about 6000 years old, so why would I pay so that you can misslead my children, your world is just a revolving, our's has a start and an end. God created the world he created animals and man all in the same week. It was also Adam who named all the animals, they will do the essay rock and minerals, but it might not be 5 pages long, and not about billions of years ago, it'll be according to the Bible

Oops, it's been way too long...

2009-05-21T14:50:00.004-05:00

So, the thesis is finished, submitted, and I'm all graduated and stuff. Now I'm looking into that whole job thing.

I have some bites out there to some federal government positions. One is super convenient (right down the street from J's summer child care location, but for not so much money), one is fantastically wonderful (but quite a ways away and I'm not sure how my experience/education will compare to the others who've made it to the referral list), and one is middle-range money and the same distance away as the fantastically wonderful job.

And of course I'm still applying.

I called to inquire about the convenient position - they referred my resume to the selection official three weeks ago and I've not heard from them. I figured the interviews had happened already and I should cross it off the list, but the helpful lady on the phone says it took her four months to get through the hiring process. Wow, for a GS-5 job?

As is typical, the federal process takes for.ev.er... The last time I went through this process, it only took about three weeks to get the notice of referral, receive the call for the interview, and then the call for the offer. Guess I need to get used to hanging out at home.

I'm open to lots of things. I'm going into this job search with an open mind. Sure, I know what I'd like to end up with, but I'm not sure if I can get everything I want. Rather like house hunting, I'll put up with a few things I'm not happy with if I can get the things on my 'must have' list.

And I wait again...

2009-04-24T16:08:00.003-05:00

So, I just sent off my thesis draft. Just for kicks, I went back and looked at my first one. Wow, what a major difference. That's why she gets paid the big bucks.

I know length has nothing to do with it but draft one was 35 pages, draft two was 45, draft three was 52, and draft four is 63. It definitely still needs finesse, but I think the bones are there. Last night (and the night before), I just couldn't think. My analysis and conclusions were just *poof* gone. Today, I was on a roll. Good thing, 'cause she wanted it back today.

In other academic news, I got the last of four PPT presentations turned into my GIS professor yesterday. I spent the morning doing some research on the paper he wants me to write - my last requirement for my last class. Unfortunately, it's a 2500-3000 word requirement, which is roughly 8-10 pages. Bleh. However, it's on a topic I'm interested in (GIS in education - he wanted it to mirror my masters research, but there's no way to add GIS into my ability group thesis, so I went with a more broad topic) and there's TONS of stuff out there. (Which means I have a crap-ton o' papers to read!)

Oh! I just got an acknowlegement email from my advisor. She got it, will read it over, and get comments back this weekend. She knows the deadline is coming up fast, and I hope the rest of her life takes a break for a day or two so she can focus on ME.

She wants to have it out to the committee early next week and schedule the defense 5-10 days (ish) after that. But first, she has to approve it for committee.

Why is it...

2009-04-07T16:56:00.002-05:00

that the faucet closest to the hot water heater takes the longest to emit warm water?

Still some work to do...

2009-04-06T09:10:00.002-05:00

Finally heard back.

While there's quite a bit of work yet to do, I'm confident that we'll be able to get it together. Hopefully by graduation, but I've been told I can participate in commencement even if it's not completely done.

Works for me, now let me get back to it...

A new kind of anxiety...

2009-04-05T16:25:00.002-05:00

I emailed the first full draft of my thesis to my advisor on Friday. She sent me a reply soon after, saying she'd look at it and get comments back the next day.

I hovered near my laptop all day yesterday. No comments.

This morning, I emailed back: "Is it so bad that you're still writing comments?" She replied that she's still looking through it and she'd respond in a few hours.

Those hours have come and gone...

This is an entirely new kind of anxiety for me. Having never done this before, having no rubric (so to speak) on how to write up a thesis for this particular project, I have no idea if what I've written is even the ballpark with 'good enough'.

Is it just needing a bit of tweaking? Does it need to be overhauled? Do I need to delve into the statistics a bit more (please no! I've had number nightmares for weeks now!)??

Please, just let me know. The waiting sucks.