Understanding Men

Emotional Dependency - Men Love It

2009-06-03T13:09:00.000-07:00

Sponsor: RelationshipHeadquarters.com

Whenever you hear the word “dependency,” most of us think in terms of some form of addiction or disease. It tends to imply something that should be avoided, fixed, or terminated. Most individuals with dependencies are those with addictive personalities, and thus rely on others to meet their needs and fulfill their responsibilities. Not the type of person you want to be in a relationship with, or aspire to become.

What if I told you that making a man emotionally dependent on you was a good thing? In fact, what if.... click here to read more.

Top 10 Blogs For Women

2009-04-09T17:13:00.000-07:00

RelationshipHeadquarters.com

I was pleasantly surprised "Understanding Men" was selected as one of the Top 10 Best “Love” Blogs for women by AllWomenStalk.com. I was in good company with other blogs from strengtheningmarriage.com, Glamour magazine and marriage.families.com.
Thanks so much AllWomenStalk.com!

You Don't Have to be Perfect

2009-03-31T13:48:00.000-07:00

Sponsor: RelationshipHeadquarters.com

What do men really want in a woman?

After years of listening to women in my private practice, many seem to think that men expect nothing less than perfection. If you were to visit some popular men’s websites such as; askmen.com or maximum.com you would certainly think that unless a woman is both highly attractive and incredibly accommodating, that men have no interest. This is not really accurate. At least not in the way you might think.

I often illustrate this to women by asking this question:

“If you had a choice between two men and everything about them was exactly the same, with the exception of one being worth millions and one being poor, who would you prefer? Would you select the wealthy one, or the one who was poor?”

You Know the Answer: If they were equal in all other aspects, most women state that they would choose the wealthy gentleman. I mean, why not if everything else is equal?

Now when men hear this some are likely to say, “That’s right, all a woman cares about is a guy who makes a lot of money.” In fact, that conclusion would be incorrect. A man would be wrong to assume that just because a woman likes the characteristic of a man with money that she cannot love a man unless he is wealthy. In fact, most women I speak with tell me this, “It isn’t that he has to make a certain amount, but I would like to know that he has the potential to make enough for me to feel comfortable.” In fact, most women are willing and/or expect to help out financially.

This same standard applies to men. If given the choice between.... To continue reading Click Here

If it could happen to Rihanna…..

2009-03-13T15:24:00.000-07:00

Sponsor: RelationshipHeadquarters.com

Why do some women end up with losers or abusers?

The answer - abusive men are often exciting. Their passion, when properly applied, can be quite captivating. Unfortunately, they frequently use that same passion when they become upset to inflict evil upon a woman. Often their victims say that their rage seemed to appear “out of nowhere.”

In addition, many women in this situation often use this phrase, “I know what he did was bad, but when he’s good, he’s sooo good. This bad stuff isn’t really him. I know the person he truly is.” What’s sad is that they often see this man as someone who is basically good who just happens to lose his temper on occasion.

What they, and hopefully Rihanna, need to remember is what James Allen once said:
“Circumstances don’t make a man, they reveal him.”

If a man ever hits a woman that violent nature was inside of him before he ever met that woman. She did not cause or contribute to that violent nature, nor is she responsible for it.

The Bachelor Dumps Both Women?

2009-03-03T17:53:00.000-08:00

Sponsor: RelationshipHeadquarters.com

I admit it - I watched a portion of the final episode of the bachelor. I bet many of you did too.

For those of you that missed the final episode - let me recap….

As those of you who have seen the show know, by the end of the series the choice is narrowed down to only two women. The bachelor has to select one of them. In this instance, the bachelor (Jason) dumped Molly at the final rose ceremony in favor of Melissa. A few weeks later, again on national television, Jason changes his mind and dumps Melissa in favor of Molly.

My wife called me into the room where she was watching the “After the Rose Ceremony” portion of the show, and she kept uttering these words, “I can’t believe that guy. How could he do that to those women?” (She said a lot of other things about Jason, but I would rather not repeat them).

Of course I had to enlighten her as to exactly how Jason could do that to those women.…

Jason appears to be one of those men that is in touch with his feelings (possibly too in touch with them).

Was Jason being dishonest with Molly when he initially cut her loose, and then with Melissa a few months later when he changed his mind, and decided he preferred Molly? I don’t think so. I suspect that Jason confuses intensity with intimacy. He assumes, like many men (and women as well), that the stronger he feels about someone, the more compatible he believes they are. As you can tell from watching, this only works when the relationship is going well. However, once things start to “normalize,” which eventually, occurs in every relationship (i.e., you get more comfortable with each other, start to recognize a few minor flaws, etc), this is a recipe for disaster.

What is the solution?

Surprisingly, it isn’t that Jason can’t ever find and/or keep love. It is that he is the worst person to try and find love in the format of “The Bachelor.” He needs to date someone for several months, (preferably longer). The woman needs to get accustomed to his moodiness. When he’s motivated and inspired, he is magical, but when he has doubts, he can be extremely unpredictable with his feelings. Only women with very high self esteem need consider dating Jason. At least based on what I witnessed last night.

One Final Observation…

Do you know who I was most impressed with? It was Melissa.

When she was riding away in the Limo she said to the camera, “I know that there is something about me…” I was so impressed by her willingness to consider that she might be contributing to her pattern of relationship breakups, as she indicated that this “always happened to her.” I thought that took a lot of courage and I don’t believe she is that far from discovering why she is “always the one being dumped.”
All she needs is someone who can show her how to change her pattern.

The Danger of Chick Flicks

2009-01-06T12:23:00.000-08:00

Sponsored by:
What Husbands Wish Their Wives Knew

It's similar to men that use Pornography as an escape (Notice I said similar, not the same). It isn't that women don't know that a movie is just a movie, but watching enough romantic comedies, over time, tends to alter your view of what is a realistic expectation of a man.
See for yourself.

How To Tell if He'll be Faithful

2008-12-16T09:26:00.000-08:00

Sponsor: The Woman Men Adore....and Never Want to Leave

I read this post which I think represents the views of a lot of women. Apparently her bad experiences with men has made her pessimistic about relationships in general.
Instead of thinking men can't be faithful, wouldn't it be easier just to weed out the cheaters before you gave your heart away? This is why not allowing a relationship to proceed too fast can prevent you from falling in love with the wrong man.
How do you keep your relationship moving slowly? Simple, don't allow him to spend as much time with you as he would like.
I know that doesn't sound like much fun for you either, but unless you see how he responds when he doesn't get his way ( not seeing you a lot), you'll never know how he will act under the pressure in the future.

If You Want More Sex, Do the Dishes

2008-09-24T12:08:00.000-07:00

Presented by: RelationshipHeadquarters.com

This one if for the guys. Especially the married ones. It may not make sense to you but many women have told me they tend to agree with this research. Kinda common sense, but it gives you a different perspective on how women think. Not all women, but a lot of them.

Here's the link The term for this new insight is Chore-Play. Guys, remember it's all about what works, not whether we think it makes sense to us.

What Happened to the Real Men?

2008-08-05T07:16:00.000-07:00

Sponsored by: Relationshipheadquarters.com

Every now and then a reader of "The Woman Men Adore...and Never Want to Leave," will send me an e-mail complaining that my book suggests that women should become subservient to men. They speak of equality, and not allowing a man to ever take advantage of them, etc. They give me the impression that a man being chivalrous is somehow a bad thing?

Kathleen Parker, Columnist and Author, believes that such an attitude in our society is actually robbing men (and women) of the kind of manhood that most women crave. Katherine believes that most women do desire a brave soul that would go out of his way to protect and cherish the woman of his choice. I agree with Ms. Parker. In the name of equality, many women are asking for something that looks good on the surface. However, a closer look reveals that looks can be deceiving.

Equality is great in a business setting, or among peers. Unfortunately, it rarely works too well in a romantic relationship, because the very nature of that type relationship is based on compliments - not equals. A woman's softness, not her toughness, inspires a man to be brave. This does not mean a woman is required to be a doormat. It just indicates that if you want a man who is protective and strong, he must feel that you need him. Otherwise, he will treat you as an equal. He will respect you, but you won't feel cherished.

"Men Love Long Hair" - Advice from a Woman?

2008-07-16T11:00:00.000-07:00

From: RelationshipHeadquarters.com

Here's the quote from the owner/founder of The Millionaires Club. It' always interesting when a woman points this out. She also said this, ""Men have to learn to be men. Women have to learn to be women. The feminization of men has made them metrosexual, lazy or both."
Here's the full article here.

Women Haven't Adapted to Casual Sex

2008-06-30T12:14:00.000-07:00

Sponsored by: RelationshipHeadquarters.com

I can sometimes do without the almost religious fervor of evolution this and evolution that, but the findings are quite interesting. I wonder if women just weren't designed for one night stands?

See for yourself.

I especially found it interesting that quality seems to be more important than quantity.

Women's Fashion for Men

2008-06-23T12:08:00.000-07:00

Sponsored by : RelationshipHeadquarters.com

This is just one man’s opinion, but you’ll find his opinion is more universal than not. Oh, and the stuff he doesn’t like, take that with a grain of salt.

Fashion Tips for Women

Marriage Advice for the Ages

2008-05-06T09:12:00.000-07:00

RelationshipHeadquarters.com

Some advice is predictable (better communication), some is fun (sex is good for a marriage) and some is just simple. In fact, sometimes the answer to a successful marriage can be found in focusing on what happens day to day between a couple.

It isn’t the big things that matter so much; rather it’s how you treat your spouse daily that makes a husband devoted for life.

Getting Him Back

2008-04-24T12:53:00.000-07:00

Sponsored by: RelationshipHeadquarters.com

If you have just had a relationship end, then you are most likely feeling overwhelmed (assuming you want him back) and perhaps a bit desperate. Nearly every day my office staff gets several phone calls from women who want to speak with me - RIGHT NOW. They don’t mean to be pushy, they’re just scared, and they feel that if they wait too long then they might lose him forever.

Of course the fastest thing to do would be to hire someone immediately, preferable a professional who has spent years working with individuals and couples. If you need to speak with someone – RIGHT NOW – then here are some resources:

www.askmarsvenus.com (The original Mars – Venus guy)

www.collinspartners.com (Very good reputation)

www.relationshipheadquarters.com (Yours Truly)

But for some the cost of hiring someone they don’t know can be a bit intimidating or perhaps you just want some quick insight. In that case, it might be a better idea to simply read some articles (and they’re free) and see if any of this advice might be helpful to your situation.

Here are some articles:

www.romanceclass.com

www.cupidsreviews.com/Getting-Ex-Back.html

ezinearticles.com/5-Ways-to-Get-Your-Ex-Back

ezinearticles.com/Getting-Back-Together-Advice

If these don’t answer your question it’s probably because these like most articles they are often written in a general and brief manner. As an author I can attest to the fact that it’s hard to describe how to get someone back into your life in one page or less which leads to the next suggestion. Buy a book. It’s less than hiring someone and often they come with a money back guarantee.

Here are some options:

www.magicofmakingup.com

www.howdoIgethimback.com

www.retrievealover.com

www.winbacklove.com

These are some suggestions. It isn’t meant to give you the answer because your situation is unique to you. The idea is to give you some resources so that you can decide which are best for your situation.

The Eligible-Bachelor Paradox

2008-04-14T10:50:00.000-07:00

From: Relationshipheadquarters.com

Yes, I do agree that women are more in control of the process of selecting a mate than most would admit. However, what they fail to understand is that for those women who know how to captivate a man, even in an age when there appears to be less quality choices, all that is required is one man. Just one that can take your breath away.
I've had clients who were widowed and then remarried and not a one of them ever said that they "settled." Why is it that so many single women can't get married the first time when these widowed individuals (some in their 50's) can find love? Perhaps it has more to do with our unconscious actions?

What Husbands Can't Resist

2008-04-11T09:11:00.000-07:00

from: Relationshipheadquarters.com

First, sorry for the long delay in posts. Our website is being completely redesigned and that has entailed more work than I imagined.

Second, our newest book, “What Husband’s Can’t Resist,” also took longer than expected at the editors chopping block but the results were worth it (I believe).

Third, we are expecting triplets (as in 3 boys, wow) so that’s been a bit of a task to prepare everything for them also.

O.K., that’s enough about me, here after it’s all about relationships and men!

What Am I Doing Wrong With Men?

2007-10-18T12:11:00.001-07:00

RelationshipHeadquarters.com

I came across this post, what am I doing wrong, and it sounded similar to so many emails I get every week. Doctor Love Coach didn't want to make any guesses without more information and I can appreciate her response. There could be a dozen different things this woman is "doing wrong" and she probably does need more information before making any suggestions.

I, however, get this type of email every week, so I'll gladly tell you what I think she might be doing that is contributing to her frustration.

Dear Frustrated Single and 35

1) Stop telling these men about your intentions. You're 35 years old and single. Nearly every man on the planet knows that a single 35 year old woman probably wants to get married and most likely have children.

2) You aren't crazy. A lot of men are afraid of making a mistake by "picking" the wrong woman to be their wife. To overcome this fear you need to learn how to captivate a man by demonstrating value. It must appear to him that he has caught you, not that he needs to "settle down" and get married.

3) If you're having sex with these men, stop. If these men aren't motivated enough to pursue marriage when you're having sex with them, then is there anything else you could offer to persuade them into matrimony? Exactly what bigger gift can you give besides your body??? Stop giving them access to your heart, mind and soul until they commit to you for life. It's a fair trade.

Is Marriage for White People Only?

2007-10-08T10:05:00.000-07:00

Relationshipheadquarters.com

When I first saw this article it obviously seemed racist but after reading it there appears to be some truth to it. If you want to know why I do this for a living, this article is a good starting place. How can people just give up so quickly and say that this is a trend and it's only going to get worse.

Here's the article.

Now, does this apply to everyone? No it doesn't and it certain isn't limited to one race. Yet because of this pattern, it unfortunately falls on women to do what many of these men will not do, which is grow up.

How to do this you ask? Here's a good starting place.

Living together before Marriage???

2007-10-02T11:07:00.000-07:00

RelationshipHeadquarters.com

This topic has been debated since the dawn of Women's liberation. What's sad is that usually the argument is only between those who say it is and isn't morally wrong. Nothing wrong with that discussion but there is more to this question than simply each person having their own opinion.

The truth is that women who move in with a man are playing a man's game. It isn't just that it's morally wrong, which, by religious standards it is, but it decreases the likelihood that the ensuing marriage will last.

Here's something to think about if you're considering moving in with your man:

Living together Before Marriage?

3 Things Men Can't Resist

2007-09-13T10:18:00.001-07:00

Sponsored by RelationshipHeadquarters.com

Most women don't realize just how deeply men feel. This research, while not all encompassing, does confirm what some experts have been saying about men.
The truth is that when a man is properly motivated, he will do almost anything for a woman.

Here's the link: What Men Will Do For Romance

3 Signs He's Interested in You

2007-07-02T11:32:00.000-07:00

Sponsored by: Relationshipheadquarters.com

Sign #1: He makes Good Eye Contact

Since guys are visual, it goes without saying that they stare at women whom they find attractive. This is significant because, as a general rule of thumb, men tend to avoid prolonged eye contact because of its threatening nature (think Alpha Male stuff).

In addition.....

Read the rest of the article here

The Man of Your Dreams is Here!

2007-05-17T13:40:00.000-07:00

Sponsored by : Relationshipheadquarters.com

After months of "getting is just right" I am thrilled to release the third book in a collection for women entitled "How to Find the Man of Your Dreams." My staff has told me that this is one of the most frequent request we receive and until now, we had nothing to offer them.

As with all my other books, this one comes with a FREE 15-minute coaching session and a money back guarantee. Please feel free to ask questions if you like and it is my hope that it proves to be as helpful as the previous two.

The Man of Your Dreams

2007-05-10T11:34:00.000-07:00

brought to you by www.Relationshipheadquarters.com

Soon my newest book will be released, "How to Find the Man of Your Dreams." After speaking with hundreds of women who have dared to share what was in their heart, it appears to me that deep in the heart of every woman is the desire to captured by the man of their dreams.
You can read a preview of this book before it is released June 1.

50 Universal Truths About Men

2007-05-02T13:26:00.000-07:00

Sponsored by RelationshipHeadquarters.com

Here is a list of characteristics that nearly every man believes, but few ever verbalize.

1. Why should I remind you that “I love you?” I already told you once.

2. I’ll do anything for sex; even commit to you for life.

3. I hate arguing with you. I’d much rather find a compromise.

4. I love long hair. Sorry, but I do.

5. When you speak softly, I can’t help but listen.

6. I need to be told “no” sometimes. Not a lot, but every now and again reminds me that you are expensive.

View the rest of the list

Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back (Secret ingredient)

2007-04-23T08:15:00.000-07:00

Relationshipheadquarters.com - Understanding Men...in Relationships.

I must admit that I have been pleasantly surprised at the popularity of "How Do I Get Him Back." I knew there was a need but I didn't know how great it was until now. While many women have taken advantage of my FREE 15-minute coaching session, some have not and have emailed me that after a "few days" the plan isn't working for them.

It appears that some women are hoping to find a magical phrase that they can say to their ex which will cause him to come running back into their arms, instantly. I can tell you the only phrase that will come close to that is, "I will have sex with you whenever you want, without you having to commit to me." That doesn't sound too appealing does it?

If you are one of these women I need to tell you something. I know you don't want to hear this but the truth of the matter is that it's going to take TIME to win your ex back. I cannot tell you how many women give into their fears and impulsively end up doing the very things I warn tell them not to do (ie. sending an email, letter, emotional phone call, etc..).

How much time you ask? Usually between 2 and 6 weeks. Sometimes less and sometimes more because words are not as effective on men as they are on women. Words only work when the right phrase is said at the perfect time. I want make certain that their ex FEELs as well has hears their words. I don't like to leave anything to chance.

For those who aren't sure what they should do, I've created a FREE report to help women identify if they are making any of the mistakes that drive men off. This way you can decide if the man you want back is worth the effort.

Wishing you the Relationship of Your Dreams!

Bob Grant, L.P.C. "The Relationship Doctor"