Fried PorkChop

I'm Like Sasquatch...

2008-11-19T16:41:00.001-08:00

Everyone hears about me, but no one has seen me. Mostly like Sasquatch, because I did exist at some point in the past. I have been spending the past few days trying to find ME again, the one that has been lost in a haze of working, and taking care of people, and running like the wind through a blinding blizzard of reality.

Well, I left off blogging a VERY long time ago, and that was mostly because I had a terrible case of cabin fever and the birds were singing, the breeze was blowing, and the sun was shining. It was all too much to let pass by while I stayed inside punching out sometimes intelligible words on this box.

I started work at the end of June at a summer camp, supervising in the kitchen. Well, somewhat supervising. My job was more to assist the cook with preparations and to lord my expertise over the heads of Mirek and Maya, my two underlings from across the globe. It didn't take much lording though, for these two were exceptional workers with great ethics, very fast learners to boot. It made my life much easier this summer than previous years, but it was still pretty hectic.

I had to arrive at work by 6 a.m. to help with preparations, serve up the food, then clean up after the children had left the dining room. Most often, we had trucks delivering supplies twice a week, and we had to unload them and put things where they belonged. Sweeping, chopping, stirring, waitressing... to say that I couldn't wait to leave there was the biggest understatement of the year.

I keep in touch with Maya and Mirek, for they had huge hearts and we spent a lot of time together on their days off. I have photos of both of them from when they came and stayed here overnight, and might post them sometime in the future.

We purchased a Wii mid-summer, and a Wii-Fitness to go with it for me. I spent every work break I had and days off on that thing. Gave up soda, cut back on junk food, changed the sizes of my portions. Losing 28 pounds was more than worth it for me, and I'm really glad that we made the investment.

If you will recall, there are pictures of me posted in certain spots on my blog. Pics of me with long hair. That was taken care of my first week at work when I cut it off to a long pixie version. By the end of summer, I had enough of the look.

With September ending, I really hacked it all off. Seriously all off. My hair is now a very short cut (the kind that is supposed to flip up in the back but I really don't care for it). Today, I went and had it touched up a bit and dyed. I'm still trying to figure out just what color my hair was changed to. Lol, not really. It is still a basic brown with thick golden highlights. It's not bad, and not far off from what I have been wearing since September.

I stopped working on August 26th, and we took the rugrats to Darien Lake for an overnight stay. They loved it, even if it did rain quite a bit while we were there and tent camping. Toad overcame some of his fears, and we found out that Princess is the biggest daredevil of us all. She was royally pissed when they told her she was too short for most of the thrilling rides.

I had roughly 5 days off total from work when I started babysitting 4 children for a friend. I drove 28 miles one way, pretty much 5 days a week, until October hit. The pay was okay, and the children weren't too hyper, unless I brought Buckwheat with me. For some reason, Buckwheat has determined that he couldn't get along with these children, leaving me with 4 screaming children most days while working with a newborn. So when I stopped babysitting in early October, I was mostly relieved. I could finally go back to wasting my days at the computer and be my miserable cave dwelling self again.

I received a call about a week and a half after stopping the babysitting by my friend, asking me to give her a hand for 2 days while her husband worked because she was ill. I went back to babysitting on a Thursday, and was thinking on Friday when I left that it was over for good.

I called my friend's hubby on that Saturday to ask if we were still able to get a dishwasher from them, and while that conversation was the intent of the call, I found out some other stuff that led me to call him back later that night for an update.

That call sealed my fate, for he asked me to come and sit with the guys while he tended to business. T-Bone went along with me, since it was night driving that I don't get along with, and we arrived just before 9 in the evening. We didn't get back home until 3:45 in the morning on Sunday. It was exhausting, but easy, since all of the children were in bed, including mine. The baby awoke occasionally, but it wasn't for long.

On that Sunday, he updated me fully and said that he was in a jam for a babysitter. Honestly, at that time, we needed the money. T-Bone's employer was curtailing every 4 days out of 14, which was leaving him shy a whole week's paycheck half the time. So I agreed, and showed up so he could go to work on that Monday.

I'm not going to go into details, it's not my place. I will say that I was there for a full month again before deciding that my time had come to make my exit. I did wind up quitting a day ahead of time, but for just cause. T-Bone played a huge part in it, and although I defy my husband a lot (his opinions are usually half-hearted suggestions anyway), this time I saw his point. His position at work could be in jeopardy over some events, and to me, his job was more important than the other guy's. Rude, I know. But, I have to be honest and get it off my chest, and I think that trying to get it out without mentioning vital things will make me feel better.

I miss the kids that I babysat for, and I honestly thought that I wouldn't. Firstly, they aren't my children. I don't bond with children that aren't mine, never really have, and never really will. But for some bizarre reason, even if I didn't bond in my sense, I did spend a lot of time with those children and that's hard to get rid of, bonded or not. I miss the baby sitting on my lap, her head resting in the crook of my knee while her feet pushed at my belly, cooing like crazy and waving her fists in the air. I miss the 2 year old guy and the way he always said "Not yet!", or the way that he would lay his head on my shoulder when I removed him from his crib in the morning and when putting him down for a nap. I miss their oldest daughter, and the look she always gave when she knew she was caught doing something that I was trying to get her out of the habit of. She liked to sneak into the refrigerator or take food and drinks from the cupboard without asking, usually making a huge mess if the deed was done quietly. I tried to instill in her that if she's hungry, just ask. If I say "no", it's probably for a reason. Not a proper food for the time of day, it was junk food, meal time was coming, etc. Especially, I miss the oldest child. Even though he could be a handful, it all seemed to go away when he willingly reached up to grab my hand when I would take him to school or pick him up. Or, when he would climb up on the couch with me in the late afternoon and sit there with his head on my arm while he watched T.V.

I'm not quite sure what this blog post was about to begin with, it really all came out in a haze and I'm sure that it doesn't follow any proper kind of flow. It's just a jumbled mess, much like my life has been since late Spring. There are so many things I want to say, and I know that I shouldn't. So many things I want to let people know that I experienced and felt, and I can't. So many things that were driving me to the brinks of depression on a daily basis, making me struggle to hold onto it all for the sake of not only my family, but someone else's too. I want to let other people know that I held on for the sake of their family too, and that I don't feel properly thanked. Those people can take it as they may, but if they really, really, thought about it, they too would realize that I went above and beyond to try to be a true friend by putting my life on hold, and by guiding their children. I don't want to be special, I don't want a medal, I don't want praise. I want to go back to that place where I'm not just THE BABYSITTER, which is what I became, and quickly. I was no longer a friend, a confidante, a shoulder to cry on. I was a functioning maid, and well, I guess since I was getting paid in cash that the money should be enough to fix my wounded ego.

I can honestly say that if this post is read, and offends anyone, it's for good reason. There is NOTHING bad in here about anyone, no names, no references, no innuendos. Just wounded feelings, and I'm sure that this will let me know just what level I was at.

Netflix, anyone?

2008-05-13T18:53:00.000-07:00

If anyone out there is looking to try Netflix for the first time, let me know and I will gladly offer you a One Month Free Trial Card!!!

I have four of them, and would love to share the joys of Netflix with others who love movies as much as we do.

The only hang up, is that you will need a credit/debit card in order to sign up an account. Let me guarantee you that we originally went with a 10 day free trial, and I was uber worried about giving them access to my bank account through a debit card.

Turns out, that I had nothing to fear! They never even attempted to start my first payment until the 11th day, when I verified that I would like to continue being a customer by queuing up more movies.

Others I have spoken with about Netflix have voiced many concerns, the top one being primarily the condition of the discs that we receive. Never. A. Problem.

These discs have always come to me completely immaculate, and have NEVER skipped. And I have received over 60 movies from them in 5 months.

The plan that we use allows us 3 discs at a time, unlimited. Meaning, that I literally have the potential to get around 30 discs a month, depending on how quick I am to return them. Try getting THAT many movies from a rental store for $18.01 a month!

Anyway, if you would like to try it, please let me know. Like I said, I have 4 cards, and I would gladly share my favorite place to get movies with you for free for one month!!

Just drop me a comment if interested, with your e-mail address. Or e-mail me. No biggie!

Laugh, I Thought I Would Die!

2008-05-06T16:16:00.000-07:00

Had a grand old time finding some funnies on the net.. these ones had me rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin'!

pioneeringinpa.blogspot.com

WANTED FOR THE FRIGHTFUL TORTURE of a RUTHLESS REDNECK

$13700

What's Your Blog Wanted For?

Oh. My. Word. I so cannot believe that they referred to T-Bone as a RUTHLESS REDNECK!! I mean, really. Who else could they have been referring to? The frightful torture part though, is bang on baby. ;)

23

Quite, immoral. Yes. Totally wrong. Borderline child abuse come to mind? Hellz yeah to all of the above. But admit it guys, we all need to be prepared for when the world is overcome with 5 year old zombies. I can take on 23 of them. Hope you guys got the rest.

$3865.00

T-Bone, keep this page bookmarked for proof when I bite the big one, start pushing up daisies, take a dirt nap. That way those scum suckers in the cadaver section that you are trying to hock my body to don't try to rip you off. See? I think about you honey!

62%

Ok, so I was prepared to "got your backs" with the 5 year olds. Not so much with the zombies. Seems that my aversion to creepy non-living things puts me at a great setback. I think my biggest downfall would come when T-Bone and I stopped running like madmen to pull a Shawn of the Dead. Oh yes, we would.

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. (picture T-Bone and I chanting this while a zombie creeps up on us, then pausing...) And, I can guarantee that our asses are getting snagged by that zombie if he fails to respond appropriately, because we will stand there like two sitting ducks waiting for it.... *insert deadly zombie groan here*

Anyway, just wanted to do a quick post-by! YAY!!

Q & A, Hooray!

2008-05-05T09:21:00.000-07:00

Alright guys, I've been a bad blogger (as you all know) so those who dropped by were so surprised that I posted anything new at all, that most of you failed to leave a question! That's alright, I have a few of them to answer, and I will add a few from an e-mail that I received from a buddy yesterday.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy!

#1. If you had three wishes, what would they be? No wishing for money, love, or changing of past events.

This is a tough one, considering that most of my wishes normally stem from wanting to change something in the past, or for money to ease my burdens. But, I'm going to take an honest stab at it!

My first wish would be to live forever. Honestly. I fear death, mostly the not being here anymore is what scares me the most. I also fear that my loved ones will no longer have me here with them, and that I will miss out on special moments in their lives.

Second wish, to have a week long vacation in the Caribbean. I long to see the perfect blue of the waters, and would love to laze around on the beaches.

And third? I wish that I had the ambition to successfully lose the extra weight that I carry around. I know how to do it, I just can't seem to get the motivation to be successful at it.

#2. If you could change one thing that has happened to you in the past, what would it be? Why?

This is one of those questions that leaves me wishing for more wiggle room. I think, that to change it all, I wish that I had remained single when I was younger, which would have unlocked a whole chain of different courses in my life. I would have remained in school, gone to college, found a successful job, and probably wouldn't be where I am today. Although, oddly enough, I was thinking about this one last night as I soaked in the tub. The problem with wanting to go back and make that specific change, would be, obviously, that I wouldn't have my children, and I most generally wouldn't be with T-Bone today. THAT is one thing I would never change though, so I'm not so sure that even if I could change that part of my past, that I would. It took a long and precarious journey, with a ton of heartaches, to land me where I am today.

#3. If you could eat only one food for the rest of your life... what would it be?

Ahhh. This is one that hangs me up. As much as I love certain foods, I would never want to eat only that for the rest of my life. But, since I obviously have to answer, I would want it to be lasagna.

#4. If you were on Survivor or a similar show, what is the one thing that would send you home? What would you be unable to do?

It would be one of two things. Anything to do with heights, or anything to do with snakes. I get extremely paralyzed even going up a ladder, so I would never be able to conquer that fear. I have had to talk myself out of stupid little heights before, and I always hated the feeling of having my body frozen in fear. The second, snakes, would definitely send me home. My fear is so enormous, that I can't even handle dead snakes, stupid little run of the mill dead snakes in the road. My childhood friend knew how much I hated them, and when we were out on our walks she would pick the dead snakes up with a stick and chase me with them. Thank goodness I could run faster than her!

#5. What is one talent that you wished you had? Is it something you can learn or is it something you have to be born with?

I truly wish that I could paint. I'm talking, Rembrandt style. Or Picasso. I have always admired their talent, and wish that I could have it also. I think that I could learn it to a certain extent, most certainly. But to have the amount of talent that those guys had? You have to be born with it.

#6. What is your favorite way to spend a hot, lazy summer day?

With my family. On the beach, without a care in the world. Plenty of sunblock for the kiddies, a vast picnic spread, and a ton of fun in the sun. I love lazy summer days!

#7. If there was on trait that your exes had, and your hubby doesn't, and you wish he had it, what would it be?

Gee T-Bone, nothing like trying to hang yourself lol. We have discussed this one before, so it isn't anything that hasn't been brought up, or would be totally new to you. I guess that trait would have belonged to my ex-husband. He woke with the sun, hopped out of bed, got dressed, and hit the day. He wasn't one to laze around. I admire that you never seem in a hurry, but sometimes I wish that I didn't have to ask you to do things. But, you know this already. You have all the traits that I need to be a happy person, and obviously, my exes didn't. But I wouldn't mind if you took the reigns for a while, and made decisions for us. Like, plan a day for you and I where I don't have a single decision to make at all. I would absolutely love that!

#8. What's one trait that you dislike about yourself?

I hate that I look like my mother. I really do. Not that I don't think she has admirable looks or anything, but gosh.. I know where I'm headed in 20 years and really would have preferred for it to be a surprise!

#9. Worst injury you have ever had?

I broke my leg when I was 12. I slipped off a diving board, and landed really hard with my leg on the board itself. It hurt, but the worst part was not realizing it was broke, and going to climb up a ladder with that leg to get out of the pool. My stomach is just rolling thinking about it!

#10. What song do you want played at your funeral?

I would definitely vote for Life is Beautiful by Sixx AM. That song is truly, truly, a work in itself, and says everything that I won't be able to when I'm gone.

So, there's a bit about me. I will try to get pics off my camera soon, which will leave me with a lengthy post about them!

BAAAAAADDDD Blogger

2008-05-01T08:49:00.000-07:00

Yup, that be me. Between having no ambition, having too much ambition, having too much time on my hands, and having no time on my hands, I have managed to abandon my blogging duties.

But, I'm here. Momentarily. I can make no promises as to how long I will be here.

Alas, I shall give you some updates on what I have been doing.

I have managed to burn my skin not once, or twice, but at least four times in the past 2-3 weeks. I thought I would be uber cool and head outside in a black thin strapped tank top. I burned. Not a problem. Hubby mentioned that he found bikini top tan lines to be sexy. Uh huh. He mentioned it. So, I donned a bikini top, and headed for the yard. Right after already being burned once on my chest with that little black top. I burned. Again. I think my brains were on vacation that day. My left mammary is now purple in one spot where TOO much sun got to it. I'm hoping it will return to normal. I don't think I can live for the rest of my days with a purple splotch on my boob.

We did go to the circus. It was a very small affair. They had Shetland ponies, some dogs, and a snake. That was the end of the animals. They also had a juggler (he even juggled fire sticks), a contortionist, a lady on a trapeze, and a not so funny clown. It was an OK dig, but I think I could have found better things to do with my time that night.

I do have pics, they are still on my camera. As soon as I feel the need to bog down my computer, I will offload them. Or upload them. Or download them. I can't decide which I will be doing. But it will get done, eventually.

We have been spending a lot of time partying. Birthday parties, dinner parties, parties, parties... PARTIES! And I am looking at a few more coming up.

As it stands, my weekend for May 23rd thru the 26th is going to be so filled up that I won't know what to do with myself. The 24th? I have a financial class to go to, nearly 2 hours away. It lasts for 4 freakin' hours. But, I really do have to go to it. Which puts a huge damper on a weekend long Memorial party at a friend's. So, in between that class, I will be popping in for that party. Plus, the annual Canoe Regatta is that weekend, and I HAVE to take the kiddies to THAT. I'm exhausted just thinking of that weekend.

We are having a summer kick-off party here on June 7th, so I've been busy with mental plans for that.

I have been baking, and cooking, and reading. Tons of fun going on round here!

Decided to do a Q&A session. Post your questions, and I will answer them in a separate post!

Spring Has Sprung

2008-04-08T08:49:00.000-07:00

Which always makes me a very busy woman. I spend approximately 5 months out of my year holed up in my house because the weather absolutely sucks. So, when Spring does its thing, and finally... springs... I'm hell bent for some fresh air and then some.

So, where were we? Ahh, yes. My car broke down, days before we were to buy a new one. Miraculous in itself that I could afford one, and even more amazement given the fact that the car came from T-Bone's sister, which allowed us to borrow it to make it out to our car to get it home after it was repaired.

On Thursday, we brought our new car home. We spent a lot of time cleaning it out, it was supposed to be vacuumed before we picked it up, but it wasn't. So, my vacuum was allowed a very rare sugar high from all of the Nerd's® that it sucked up from the floor in the back.It took a lot of talking, scolding, and reprimanding before my vacuum calmed down enough for me to put it away for the night. I think it still holds some resentment for me.

Alright, it's time to bring on the car pics. We bought our blue Intrepid almost a year ago, for $400. It was running on 2 cylinders instead of 6, was blowing oil, and needed tires. Did I mention that it had extensive body damage? Extensive to the point that the hood was replaced, and it didn't match the car. White hood, blue car.. hmmm.. methinks someone was a tad color blind when they did that repair.

We needed a car badly, so we took it. It cost nearly $200 to get the cylinders back to 6, and for the oil to stop blowing. We replaced the tires. Since then, we have put a lot of money into that car. New rear struts on both sides (plus 2 new tires when the struts went and ruined the tires, both at separate times), a water pump, a radiator, and basic repairs. I was so tired of this car that it was pathetic. Plus, it just didn't match my ensemble on any given day. Blue and white is a hard thing for me to pull off.

So, let's say a hearty goodbye to Porkchop's old car (aka T-Bone's new work only car), and pray that she never has to drive through town again and have people mistakenly wave at her car, thinking she is someone else. Because, you know, so many people in our town drive a blue Intrepid with a white hood and a rescue light on the top. Really, I've had people wave to it, then lie to someone else and say it wasn't them. Hmm.. looks like [unnamed], stands like [unnamed], and [unnamed] waved at my car. While he was standing on the street with a girl who wasn't his woman. Just sayin', there was no way that I could be mistaken.

Sorry, getting sidetracked lol. Drumroll please....I present to you, old blue Intrepid with white hood, fender damage, and one mismatched hub cap. The back tire was a spare, so the matching rim is in the trunk with a flat on it. Hmm.. talk about us being prepared. We don't even have a spare tire in that car. Could be why I'm left on the side of the road sometimes. And yes, we live in the sticks, so the tires are always caked in mud. Gives it a decidedly rugged look, yes?

Alas, on to my new car. My baby. My car that wouldn't allow the front windows to roll down without them falling off the track. The car that T-Bone spent 4 hours working on the other day to fix those windows, just for the driver's side to fall off the track again last night. No biggie, fixable in the future. Are you ready to see my new car?
Oh, what's that? I forgot to mention that I bought yet another Intrepid? My bad. I did. We now have 2 Intrepid's. Very nice cars, and I love the way they drive. Mine is 3 years newer than the blue one.

After we cleaned it all out, T-Bone jokingly suggested that he could let me use something that he has had in the package since he received them as a gift years ago. An object that he refused to use because he never felt right about his vehicles, so they therefore, weren't worthy of it. He went looking for said item, and couldn't find it. I, on the other hand, knew exactly where it was, and rescued it from Buckwheat's closet immediately.

Ready to see what T-Bone looks like when he is "letting go" of something? Be prepared, it's a sad sight.
The poor guy. I almost didn't have the heart to allow him to bestow his "gift" upon my car. Then again, who am I kidding? I'm me, and I'm spoiled, and selfish, and.. and.. well.. you get the point.
So, I did what any good, self-respecting wife would do. I ~~promised him "adult favors"~~ stroked his ego and told him how unworthy I was of him. See the smile? He ~~lusts~~ loves me.

There they are. His pride and joy. His "not worthy of any other vehicle I ever owned no matter what I paid for it" Trans-Formers floor mats. And those bad boys are now mine all mine.
See? They were made for each other!

Now that I've updated you all on where I've been, here's where I will be tonight.

At the circus! I will take plenty of pics, and promise to post them shortly!

It's Raining, It's Pouring, & A Winner!

2008-04-02T07:24:00.000-07:00

Okay, I think I've made enough apologies for being MIA that I can skip it this time. I have had tons of reasons for not being here, but more about that later!

As you can see, here is my scale with my ass on it. Well, not just my ass, but all of me!! And yes, that does say 238 for those who can't see it clearly. So, we have a winner who was 8 pounds off. Asthmagirl, send me an e-mail and give me some details (like, do you even have a Target near you, because I can opt for a different gift card). Congratulations! The others had me wondering just what on earth it would feel like to weigh their guesses (like 179 lbs. by Hallie) and I'm pretty sure that Debbie guessed lower! Thanks for the participation, the first contest went over without a hitch. Almost.

On to the next portion of our program. We did the Easter scene with the runts, but it went over really choppy. They received their bikes on Saturday in spurts, since Princess decided to stay the night at her aunt's and not come home until mid-afternoon. They enjoyed them!

We had a nice spaghetti dinner that night, with leftovers for lunch on Sunday. We made Beezlenut Splashes (stolen from IHop) to go with their lunch. It's just Sprite soda, with cubes of Jell-o in it served in a clear glass. Here's a pic of my Beezlenut Splash tower!After lunch, we dropped in to my sister's to rescue another child that had spent the night. We returned home, finally gave them their Easter Baskets, then geared up to take them home. Uneventful, right?

Wrong. So wrong. About 5 miles outside of one of our drop off spots, we noticed steam escaping from the hood of the car. The temperature gauge was where it always is, so we plunged ahead. More steam, and 1 mile from our destination the gauge shot up towards the red line for hot. We made it to where we wanted to be, with the car steaming like a fire breathing dragon.
This pic is mild. Our car was literally engulfed in steam. Turns out that the seams in our radiator chose that precise moment to burst. There was no way to get the car home without a new radiator.

I tried to call my sister, and after an hour managed to get ahold of her. Meanwhile, I was regaled with the ex-MIL and ex-grandmother-in-law at their house. Watching a National Geographic channel soft porn episode. Really, I didn't care to see little Africans with penis gourds bouncing across the screen while sitting next to my exes.

My sister finally answered her call, and it turned out she was less than 10 miles away! YAY! So, her and her hubby showed up, he tried some stop leak in the radiator, but it wasn't holding. We headed home defeated.

Thankfully, we had made arrangements to buy a new car the week before. The money was in the mail to pay for it, and T-Bone's sister (who we were buying the car from) graciously let us use it. T-Bone made it to work on Monday, for a bit.

My sister called just before noon to let me know that her hubby was in a salvage center ripping a radiator out of another vehicle for our car. In the pouring rain. So I called T-Bone at work, so he could leave and meet her hubby at our car to help put it in. He had to finish up what he was working on first, so we arrived at our destination just before 2.

To find my sister and her hubby sitting in their vehicle. We geared up for a radiator installation, praying that it would work. Too late! He had managed to install it already, and was getting ready to leave.

So, T-Bone headed out with our car, I followed in the car we were buying, and my sister was close behind. We made it home without further incident.

A quick recap. Weight winner, Asthmagirl. Broken car? Pain in the ass. Making plans to buy a different car mere days before the current one breaks down? An upside. Having a sister-in-law who will let us borrow that car without having cash in hand? A lifesaver!!

Reflections, with a Twist (Read on!)

2008-03-28T04:37:00.000-07:00

I'm going to start this post off with a great picture of the baked oatmeal that I mentioned for one of the foods that I like to snack on, the post is here. I make this recipe at least once a week, sometimes twice. It is pretty dense, almost like a muffin bar. I like to grab it by the chunk and munch on it, but you won't find me turning my nose up at throwing some in a bowl, microwaving it, then adding milk and mixing it all together.

This recipe, courtesy of here, had to be adapted to suit my tastes. Of course, those tastes wouldn't have come in to play if I had enough oil for the recipe during one session and hadn't decided to switch it off to applesauce. Best unorganized thing that has happened to me in a while!

My suggestion is to use 1/2 of the oil called for, and replace the other half with the applesauce. This recipe is already sweet enough, so completely substituting out the oil will make it sickly sweet (in my opinion anyway, take it or leave it). One more thing, try to use the smaller sized quick oats (not the package size, I'm talking "oat" size). I made it for my sister, and the oats were huge, and I felt that it ruined the recipe.

Hope you guys enjoy the recipe as much as I do, it's semi-quick, super cheap, and easy to make. Plus, it feeds a lot. How can you go wrong with that? I refuse to go back to microwaved oatmeal (which I previously worshiped) or regular plain Jane oatmeal. Once you go baked, that's all it takes!!

Enough about food. That's really not why I'm here. I noticed the pic on my camera when I transferred the ones in the rest of this post off of it, and thought it would be a good time to share it. Voila. This is me, at 2 years old. I'm sure you are asking why it matters that I dug that far back into my childhood for this post. Hush, it's a progressive post. I had to start somewhere. Plus, I want you guys to think that I'm really super cute and adorable.

Somewhere along the way, I took a liking to food. Junk food. Lots of it. So, that perfectly chubby-but-fit 2 year old, managed to plump up a bit by the time she was 10.I would be the one on the left of the screen. With the funky pale yellow shirt. See all that pudge straining against my t-shirt? That was the product of 8 years of eating whatever the hell I wanted, when I wanted. I shouldn't be so harsh on myself, I really could have blown up like a balloon with the food that I liked to pack away.Fourteen. *sigh* What a beautiful age that was. I still had the makings of a "big boned gal", but I. Was. THIN. And this is the Porkchop that T-Bone fell madly in love with. Don't mind the slightly bad hair, it got better for a while. Pardon the interruption while I cringe. *Cringe* *Cringe* Okay, I think I'm over it. Yes, that is me. Yes, that is a wedding dress. And NO that is not the man I was marrying. That was my dad. Notice the short, stylish hair. Mine, not his. The still *mostly* thin body. Please keep in mind that I married extremely early, I was nearing 17 in that pic, and I was 3 months pregnant. Blah blah blah, too young, blah blah where were your parents. Now that we have that out of the way, and I decline to answer those questions, we can skip them. *wink*

A little footnote (or is it a side note, since I'm barely through my post? you can choose). When I am single, or in any sort of a non-live-in relationship, I'm thinner. I eat less, I have more energy, and the freedom to fill my mind with whatever I like that doesn't pertain to the rooming with the opposite sex variety. Once I get settled in, the fat moves in like an uninvited guest, and invades every last piece of me. It's true. I can prove it.I have to admit that this pic in particular makes me want to build a time machine, travel back over 10 years, and kick the ever loving snot out of the woman standing right there. You know, the one with the baby on her hip, the 8 month pregnancy bump, and the awful hair. Very awful hair. My oldest was almost 11 months old in that pic, and I was pregnant again. Must be that I never realized how it happened the first go round. Anyway, that pic doesn't prove that I was fat, although I was. Not just pregnant, but F.A.T. I gained 70 pounds with baby number 1, and managed to lose maybe 20 pounds of it before getting myself knocked up again. You do the math, and I can guarantee you that this pic above had me sporting all of those 70 pounds again, plus some!Let's fast forward a good five years. Through the diapers, the feedings, the birth of 3 total children, the loss of one, and a messy ordeal that left me moving back in with my mother. I don't think I mentioned that during the "bad" pregnancy, I lost 20 pounds during the 6 months that I should have gained at least half of that. I was malnourished due to blood loss, and climbing back to something resembling healthy was a long haul for me. The picture above shows me at ten pounds over the ideal weight for a woman of my height and body mass index. TEN FREAKIN' POUNDS, and not a single person could walk by without asking me if I was sick. A few even ignorantly asked what kinds of treatments I was going through that would cause me to look so ill. Let's just say that the money I paid for a fitness trainer to point out a couple of years after this picture was taken that my ideal weight was less than what I weighed in that pic had me wanting to throttle him. There is no way I can hit my target weight and maintain any semblance of looking healthy. Been there, done that, and have the pictures to prove it, somewhere. This one isn't the best, but it shows the thin.Here I am at my sister's wedding a long time ago, but maybe 3 months after the previous picture. I had managed to gain 10 healthy pounds in 3 months, and was looking the best I have ever been.

Alright people, let's fast forward again. To a time where I have been in a comfortable relationship for almost 4 years. Of course, the fat has moved in, as I've mentioned in other posts. But, just how much fat? Muahahaha, I think I just started myself with my first blog giveaway.

Listen up people. I will show a couple of current pics. And, I must say, that my sister, T-Bone, Shell, and Sara MUST be excluded from entering, in order for it to be fair. The person who comes closest to guessing the correct weight just from these pics alone, will receive a gift-card from Target. The contest will run through the weekend, ending Sunday night. If more than one person guessed the same thing, or were the same distance from the actual weight, I will use a random generator to choose the winner.

On with the pics, my dears!Backside shot. I'm the one with the non-graying hair. :)Wedding pic, taken 2 years ago.
And, of course, I'm the taller one with the blonde streaks.

I really don't have any pics that show me better, but after the contest is over I will have T-Bone take a full body for me to post.

So, the rules.

1. Leave a comment with your guess on what I weigh. Really... I will not be offended. At all. Well, just don't say like 600 pounds. Then I might have to hunt you down and gut you like a fish. But we won't have that happen, right? RIGHT?

2. Feel free to blog about the contest, but it is not necessary in order for you to enter.

3. Anyone found canoodling with Sara, Shell, T-Bone, or my sister to try to get an accurate guess will be disqualified. :) Let's keep in the spirit of fair play, shall we?

Looking forward to pulling some shock and awe faces, along with a ton of laughing (I'm sure) at your guesses!

***Update*** I am 5'9". And, please don't ruin the contest by posting that you think weight guessing is rude. If that is how you feel, even after I asked for it, then please don't leave a comment. And no, I haven't had anyone say that.. just want to clarify it before it happens. :)

About Me

2008-03-27T10:45:00.000-07:00

I was tagged a LONG time ago by Jessica over at The Barn Bums, and for some reason I could never find this tag when I wanted to blog about it. Guess what? I found it. I deserve a medal or something! Enjoy.

A. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning.

B. Each player answers the questions about themselves.

C. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and post their names, then goes to the blogs and leaves them a comment letting them know they’ve been tagged.

What I was doing 10 years ago: *sigh* Ten years ago, I was a mother of 2 little guys, with a new pregnancy under my belt. I was married to Hubby #1, wanting desperately to move (I swear, the house I lived in was haunted and I wanted OUT), and I had no goals in life other than making it through another day full of dirty diapers, vomit, and screaming little ones. Barney, Teletubbies, and Jay Jay the Jet Plane headed my T.V. viewing schedule. I was desperate for something else, but resigned to the path that I chose.

5 Things on my To Do list today: Keep my sanity, drink more water, wait for T-Bone to get home from work, go shopping for the rest of my Easter stuff (which we are celebrating this weekend), and do laundry.

Snacks I enjoy: Oreo Cakesters, all the way baby. Those things rock! Pepperoni & Cheese, Dove Truffle Eggs (thanks Tracy!), Baked Oatmeal, and Jell-o.

Things I would do if I were a Billionaire: I would go on a Cruise to the Bahamas (even though I am deathly afraid of cruise ships/ocean liners), visit Europe (even though I am deathly afraid of planes), pay off my debt, buy a new home, put money into a fund for my children with strict regulations that they are to receive ONLY a stipend a month that would require them to hold a job in order to survive (I'm evil, but I don't believe that children should be HANDED everything, that they should work for what they want), buy a new car, donate to find a cure for Breast Cancer & HIV/AIDS, dole out some money to each of my siblings, T-Bone's siblings, and my parents, along with my wondiferous grammy. I would have T-Bone quit his job, and pursue a career in something that he can do on his own time, so that he isn't a slave to "the man" any longer.

3 of my Bad Habits: I drink Mountain Dew like it is going out of style, I smoke like a chimney (less during the winter since we smoke outside and it's too damned cold!), and I eat wwwaaayyyy too much. Oh, and I swear a lot. More than I should, but I'm not changing that!

5 places I have lived: I have only lived in 2 places for more than a month or so, which would include a small town in NY that is 7 miles from where I now live in PA. I have spent time in Nebraska, Indiana, and North Carolina for a few weeks/month with intentions to NOT return to NY at the time, which is where I lived. I always found my way home, and have no intentions on leaving. But.. I would LOVE to live in Indiana!!

5 jobs I have had: Ugh, I so don't want to go here. Ok, ok.. here goes. I have been a waitress, on more than one occasion. I have been a Data Entry Rep for a credit card company, I have been an Error Processing Rep & 800 phone number installer for MCI, I did a stint of nearly a year and a half as a laborer in a fabricated board plant, and I am currently a seasonal kitchen supervisor at a summer camp that has been manned by women in my family for 4 generations. The piece de resistance? I worked at McDonald's, right before Buckwheat was conceived.

Would you like fries with your shake??

Okay, that's a ton about me. Now I wanna hear from Shell, Sara, T-Bone, Tracy, and my sister. I'm waiting. :)

Back In the Saddle Again

2008-03-26T08:46:00.000-07:00

While doing my daily blog rounds, I noticed a post here that made me feel ashamed. Wretched. A bad blogger, to say the least. I didn't go MIA to look for sympathy, and have people calling for me to return to the masses. It was just a matter of being busy, then being lazy. Which happens a lot for me. So, without any further ado, here's a general recap of what I have been up to.

A LONG time back, we went to dinner with my sister, to celebrate my nephew Potter turning 13. Here are a couple of pics from that day.Here's my nephew Potter with the gifts that we got him. A pair of exercise sweats, and a Yankee's (his fave team) t-shirt. The lady holding up the t-shirt is my mom.
This is me with my niece Tookie. Not my fave pic of me, but I'm just keepin' it real.

I have a ton more pics from the dinner, but I really need to keep this post short, my sister just called and asked me to go somewhere with her, so I need to get ready soon.

T-Bone loves to pose, and found the opportunity with the next pic while we were visiting at some friend's a while back.
As you walk down the stairs to the basement at my friend's house, you are greeted with this nasty sight. Every damned time, it scares the hell out of me, and I know it's there. It catches me off guard. It is normally covered with the blue t-shirt dangling around its neck to keep the little ones from being scared out of their gourds. I can see why.I really don't think that I have ever posted pics of my older guys on here. Not because I love them less, or fail to take pics, it's mainly because things are pretty uneventful when they are around, so blogging ideas go elsewhere. Here is a pic that I managed after 5 (count them.. FIVE) tries to stop them from fooling around. The first pic, Princess was goofing off. The second pic? Toad was goofing off. The third?? Buckwheat. T-Bone wasn't looking in the fourth, and I was at my wits end. Finally, Buckwheat stood (I was assuming that he was heading out and offing the pic process) and went to stand behind Daddy. I managed THIS pic, and I'm seriously thinking of having it used as one of my pics for my calendar next year!
St. Patty's Day dinner went off without a hitch, as always. And it turns out, that Buckwheat loves corned beef! Here he is with his "corned beef tongue" as he poses like a ham. Or corned beef. Either way, he was posing!
On Saturday, our local town held an Easter egg hunt. Here is Buckwheat with his stash, sitting with his cousin "Eggie" as he calls him. They both had a blast!

Saturday night, we went to T-Bone's sister's for Easter dinner. His brother was up from Pittsburgh, so we all got together, had dinner, then played some games. Somehow, we all wound up looking like this....
T-Bone's sister, "Aunt E-Moggy". The hat lit up all the way down the back.
Uncle Kenny, in full Disney World Pirate get out. Notice the beads wrapped around his "beard" (gag, seriously.. I don't like that thing)? He's chillaxin' in that pic.This was actually a high hat with stripes, that had long dangly goofy ears. T-Bone is tying them up around the top of that hat in this pic.One more of Uncle Kenny, wearing the Princess Pirate Mickey Mouse ears. This was right before the "pick his nose and wipe it on E-Moggie's pants" episode. Gagged me out. Hardcore.

Anway, I have to be running, my sister is on her way. I might possibly be back later with a second post for the day! *gasp*

Menu... Interrupted

2008-03-17T12:04:00.000-07:00

Menu Plan Monday is being rescheduled until I get a handle on a couple of bills, and get Easter out of the way. It's not a big thing, I'm just going to float on through (to the other side.. do do do) with what I have in my cupboards. Which, I mentioned last week, is a ton. So we are still eating pretty danged skippy around here, but my poor menu planning is suffering. And so is my sanity. I've been waiting until the last minute to figure out what to have for dinner. The entire reason I started menu planning was to avoid that, and here I sit. In this deep, dark hole.. called "what's for dinner". I can tell you this much baby, it ain't beef.

Oh, wait. It is. Corned Beef. Happy St. Patty's Day bloggers! Me, being the family traditionalist that I am (and read that closely, I said family traditionalist not Irish traditionalist), have already started the Corned Beef, Cabbage, Carrots, and Potatoes that I whip up every single March 17th. I actually don't care for Corned Beef, but T-Bone loves it, and it only happens once a year, unless I get a great deal on Corned Beef (like I did the other night) and buy more. I'm looking at two helpings of the stuff within the near future. Somebody save me!

Anyway, this post is completely random. I really don't have a topic of choice today, just like yesterday. And the day before. Oh, and the day before that too. But it's all good, for some reason, even boring blog material captivates some people. Only some. But that's good enough for me!

My sister showed up last night, her hubby wanted to try out one of his newer guns. Since we live out in the country, and they live in town, it seemed logical that they came up so he could fire off a few rounds. T-Bone loves nothing more than playing with fire arms, so he was in heaven. Even more so in heaven, because he loves to entertain.

As always, my poor sister was trying to run out the door to leave, and T-Bone was trying to hold her back with another "Hey, have you seen this?". He is so horrible with that. Mainly, he stops people who are trying to leave with his collection of guns (which stalls them for a good hour) but since my sister and her hubby had already been ~~bored~~ delighted with the guns on a previous visit, they were spared.

Instead, T-Bone tried to stall them with pictures. I think that my sister and her hubby drew straws on the way up here to see which one would escape to the vehicle with the kids and wait, while T-Bone ~~held the other hostage~~ entertained. My sister must have lost, she stood in the doorway after her hubby escaped, waiting impatiently for T-Bone to show her some ancient cartoon caricatures that were drawn of his family eons ago.

She escaped in a pretty timely fashion, if you ask me. Lucky her, I get ~~bored to death~~ to be regaled with T-Bone's shenanigans every day.

The things we do for ~~lust~~ love.

I was dragged out of bed at ~~nine~~ seven this morning by a peculiar phone call. I was so ~~tired~~ confused by the call that I had to listen to it twice. And what's even better? I only caught half of it on the answering machine. Because, I, like the dumb ass that I am, picked the phone up halfway through the caller's message, and merely sat listening to him. Yeah. I did. I LISTENED TO THAT POOR SOUL WHO THOUGHT HE WAS STILL TALKING TO MY ANSWERING MACHINE. And I didn't even know it. It's one thing to screen calls, it's another to be the silent breather on the ~~water bed~~ grassy knoll that's hanging onto your every word because she thinks she is listening to her answering machine. Through the handset. It was such a duh moment. I hope that guy never finds out, he will never think the same of me again.

Anyway, on with my story. He was telling me my answering machine about how he wants to give away his second camper at the camp grounds behind us, and would like for us to take it. Pull it out, scrap it, keep it, leave it, use it, LIVE IN IT, just please take it off his hands. He can't afford the 2 lot rents at the camp ground, and he has a perfectly functional camper that is a tad bigger because they built onto it.

Let me say, I was thrilled. Must have been thrilled enough to be one of those phone breathers, but that is besides the point. This camper is nice, it's big, and it is currently on a lake front spot at the camp grounds. And the owner would love for us to come back. New seasonal campers can't get a lake front unless they go and buy a lake front camper that is for sale. And we were just handed one, for free. I can't wait to see T-Bone's reaction tonight when I tell him!

Better yet, I think I'm just going to let him read this and find out how his buddy from NJ must have thought that our answering machine was alive and breathing while he left his message. Good grief, I'm going to be razzed about this one.. FOR A LONG TIME.

Keep me in your thoughts people, I'm going to need it!

My Fall From Psychotic Pt. 8

2008-03-13T09:41:00.000-07:00

Even with all of the drama and horrible things happening that year, my pregnancy was going alright. As I neared 26 weeks, I started getting scared. Worrying incessantly whether the baby would make it past that mark, or if it would be Keegan all over again.
My high risk doctor knew my history, including what happened with Keegan. And somehow, he planned to keep things calm from my 24th week on, without my knowledge until my 24th week appointment.

To be continued....
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Before I launch into Pt. 8, for those of you who haven't read the other 7 parts, I suggest that you do one of 2 things. One, read the other 7 installments, so that you are current. Or two, skip this post. Without reading the other parts, you aren't going to fully grasp the idea behind this post, and might find it a tad confusing. Or maybe you won't, I can't predict that. BUT.. I am pressing on with the "Fall from Psychotic" series after a fair amount of pressuring from fellow bloggers who did read my back posts, and are anxious for the next step. Oh, and for T-Bone. He loves to read about himself. I still love ya, baby.
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Stopping all of the medications that I took on a daily basis took a lot of getting used to. I not only stopped taking them, but I did it in the worse way possible. I went cold turkey. That isn't something that you can do with Xanax and Lithium. The Prozac wasn't a problem, but getting used to life without the other two took a ton of adjusting. When my ordeal was stabilized, I vowed to never take an antidepressant again.

My doctor had other thoughts. He knew what kind of stress I was under as I neared that dreadful 26 week mark, and suggested at my 24th week appointment that I consider ramping back onto antidepressants for the remainder of my pregnancy.

Sure, I was worried. I was stressed. I cried quite a bit when the thoughts of losing another child overwhelmed me. But, under no circumstances, was I going back on those pills. I was stronger than that. I could do without it. And somehow, I took one for the team, sucked it up, and plowed on without them. The whole time, I reassured myself that things would be fine, it was just a state of mind, that nothing was going to happen to this baby.

In the back of my mind, the thoughts that doomsday was approaching still riddled my waking hours. I soothed myself with a very hard knock to reality. I survived the death of a premature child once, if it happened again, I could deal with it. I was strong. I wouldn't like it, and it would probably end my child bearing days forever, but for the sake of my sanity, I pressed on with these thoughts raging inside my head like a thundering storm cloud.

My 26th week came and went, with nothing major going on other than an occasional urinary tract infection. The sense of doom never left me, even as I felt my little one growing bigger and healthier. It never left when late in my 6th month, the baby decided to lodge his head in my canal and leave it there for the duration of my pregnancy. In fact, I think that maneuver made my impending doom seem worse, for the awful pains I would get when he moved had me wanting to throw in the towel on more than one occasion.

A month and a half before the little guy was due, T-Bone was out of town on a work trip to meet potential and existing clients for his mill. The very same night that he settled down in Ohio, I swore my water broke. I awoke from a nap to find my water bed soaked in a huge puddle beneath me. I scoured the bed, checking for leaks, and realized that there was no way the bed had left that puddle. I called my mother, and had her take me to the doctor's.

My water didn't break, or spring a leak, but the little guy had decided to use my bladder as a punching bag. Embarrassing as it was to find out I had no control over my bladder anymore, it was a huge relief to still have my waters intact. I was not ready to deliver this baby yet.

By the end of December, I was wishing that it was over. I could barely move anymore, my sleep was almost zero, and my body was being abused in ways I never thought possible. And that was my 5th pregnancy, to boot. As January dragged on, I found myself faced with the same information each time I visited my doctor. Things are looking great, you will make it to your due date.

A week and a half before my due date, I went in for an appointment and was seen by my doctor's assistant, instead of himself. And thank the powers that be for small miracles. The lady started my usual internal, and immediately went into shock. She looked me in the eye, and said "Do you realize that this baby has its head lodged in your canal? I can feel it!" I gave her my corporate eyebrow, and responded with something nice along the lines of "you think you can feel it, try being me" when all I wanted to say was "Hey, no shit?!? Really?? And here I thought that I was passing a bowling ball of a kidney stone!"

I can't dis this woman, as much as I'd like to. She immediately called the doctor in, who was in the building but busy elsewhere. She looked him in the eye, and said "I really think that you should put this poor lady out of her misery and take this baby. She's so uncomfortable that she can barely walk! There's no way she's going to make it through the next week in any sort of comfort."

Without blinking an eye, he told the lady to set me up to be induced after the weekend. But, but.. it was Friday! I wasn't ready! Yes, it hurt. And yes, it was uncomfortable. But labor and delivery was always something I could never get my head around. I knew how much it hurt, and I didn't want to do it. No way, Jose.

I told T-Bone when I got home that he could be expecting an early February baby. Great, he knew that. So I wowed him a bit more, and offered a February 1st baby. He was ecstatic. He was in more of a rush to have this baby out in the real world than I was.

The weekend was pretty uneventful, a lot of cleaning and arranging before we left for a couple of days. Monday morning hit, and I woke with butterflies flitting around the enormous baby in my belly. The time was here. There was no turning back.

We arrived at the hospital when we were supposed to, and I was hooked up to the endless supply of machinery. As the baby's heartbeat thumped throughout the room, I lay there and wondered when the pitocin was going to be delivered.

The doctor showed early that morning, totally to my surprise. He waltzed in and produced a pair of gloves out of thin air. Now, let me say that this guy has a horrible sense of humor. Actually, he doesn't even have one. He had no bedside manner either. My appointments with him always went the same way. Few words, nothing but the facts ma'am.

So when he looked me in the eye, and announced that he was "here to break my vater" (did I mention he wasn't American?) I recoiled in fear. But, but... WHY?!?!? I moaned from my spot on the bed. A queer look passed over his face. "Because we want to have this baby before 5:00". Again I moaned my Why's. "Everybody goes home at 5. This baby needs to be out so we can all go home!" I took a closer look at his face to see why he looked so hideous, and realized with horror what I was seeing. The man was... smiling. Grotesquely, of course. But he was still smiling. The first I had seen since meeting this man so many months ago.

My water was broken, I was hooked to an IV and had pitocin shuttled through my veins, and things were OK for maybe an hour. Then my world was rocked.

The contractions were nasty, and they were hitting fast. It was hard to focus on breathing, since my room had suddenly turned into a 3-ring circus. My mother was there, and she brought my niece as a reminder to her of what happens when you have unprotected sex. Both of T-Bone's sisters were there, anxious to see their new nephew brought into this world. And.. my cousin Kimmy was there. Oddly, since she really hadn't talked to me EVER. Her family decided I must be OK about the time that I started going with T-Bone. They had a soft spot for him. My cousin worked in the hospital, and happened to have some time on her hands, so she dropped by.

The pains rocked my body as everyone in the room guessed how much the baby was going to weigh. Everyone guessed in the 8 pound range. Fine by me, my other 2 boys were in the 8 pound range. Then T-Bone opened his mouth, and granted himself a stare full of daggers since I couldn't talk through my contractions. He announced that his little boy was going to weigh 9 pounds, 3 ounces. That man had a death wish.

T-Bone was snagged by my mother to go for a cigarette, and I thought that it was fine, nothing was changing. I was still out of it from trying to focus on not screaming and moaning in front of an audience, so I barely heard him. My mother started to walk past, and slowed after taking a look at me.

"Oh no. You have to push, don't you?" She asked, in awe.

Well, no. I hadn't thought about it. Until that moment. And all of a sudden, I had to push so bad that I couldn't stand it. She waves me off, saying that they have time for a cigarette, and will return. I floundered around a bit, trying to get comfortable, until they returned.

As they walked in, so did the nurse. She asked how I was doing, and I muttered that I had to push. Nah, not time yet. You're fine. I so wanted to kick her. She conceded to to do an exam, and all of a sudden things went into a downward spin. She looks up at me from between my knees, and announces "do not push", she was going to get the doctor. The baby was set, and so was I.

As the doctor rushed in, T-Bone's sisters, my cousin, my mother, and niece, rushed out. They did their thing with the bed, everyone got into position, and less than 5 minutes later Buckwheat came screaming into the world.

T-Bone cut the cord, and the nurse handed Buckwheat over to T-Bone so that his aunts and grandmother could see him. In the hall, the 2 new aunts started crying copiously, along with T-Bone, as they marveled at the little guy that was now their nephew. T-Bone's oldest sister had their mother's profile laser etched into a medallion on a chain, and she was wearing it that day. As she gazed at her new nephew, she kissed his cheek with the medallion, and muttered that grandma was watching down on him.

The doctors did their thing with me, and I was ready to go back to my room. T-Bone waltzed in after I was settled, and announced that Buckwheat weighed 9 pounds, 5 ounces. Man, he was so close.

We arrived home the day after I delivered, since all systems were a go. As we arrived, we took the baby upstairs to meet T-Bone's aunt. And that's when I found out what T-Bone had never told me.

As she gazed at Buckwheat, she nonchalantly asked T-Bone if we had the paternity test done. I looked at her in shock, and asked what she was talking about.

"The paternity test that T-Bone promised his mother before she passed away. Did you get it done, or do you plan to do it soon?"

T-Bone shrunk in horror, and for once.. was at a loss for words.

To be continued....

If I Were...

2008-03-12T10:06:00.000-07:00

If I were a sea critter, I would be...
An electric eel. 'Cuz I'm so damned ELECTRIFYING.

If I were an animal of the African grasslands, I would be...A Jaguar. Chic spots, and killer eyes. I would be IRRESISTIBLE.

If I were a bird, I would be...A Hummingbird. Small, fast, and I fit in your pocket. Every man's dream. :)

If I were a dog, I would be...The Taco Bell Chihuahua. Free Taco Bell? I'm all over it baby.

If I were a kitten, I would...PUUUURRRRRR. And not just behind closed doors, either.

If I were a vehicle, I would be....
A Humvee. Use me, abuse me, and my motor will keep revvin'.

If I were the weather, I would be...A tornado, with lightning. Dark, unpredictable, I come in with a whir of winds and leave an aftermath, everyone knows I've been there.

If I were a million things, I would still be me. And a million things are me.

But if I were you...I definitely wouldn't be...
ME.

And we wouldn't want that, now would we?

So.. tell me.. what would you be?

Annie Annie Bo Bannie...

2008-03-10T09:25:00.000-07:00

Attention customers: There will be no Menu Plan Monday post this week. I repeat... No Menu Plan Monday post this week. Cash is a tad tight, with bills flying in every direction. Plus, I have 4 brand new bikes to buy for Easter, and need to tighten down the hatches. The upside is, I have enough food in my house to kill an elephant after it's been on a 3 week hiatus, so we will be eating well for the week (possibly two, depending on how next week looks with bills).

On one hand, I'm happy to see the bills being paid (for once, I hate paying bills), but on the other.. I like the suspense of having to meet deadlines with my bills. Only problem is, I'm sure it's ruining our credit. And, I'm having to spend extra money because of late fees. So I'm going to suck it up like a big girl, and pay them on time, so that I have one less worry. I've even thought about having my monthly bills deducted straight from the checking account. I know, daring right?

Anyway, on with the show! I've been tagged. Sometimes I feel like the slow kid in freeze tag, who is always it because they can't run with the big dogs. That's what being tagged says to me. But.. it also says that someone thought of me, and for that.. I'm grateful. So, this fat kid is going into this next tag head long. Enjoy! P.s.- Thanks Tami!

1) You must post these rules on your blog before you answer the questions. 2) You need to list one fact about yourself using each letter of your MIDDLE name. If you don’t have a middle name use your maiden name instead. 3) When you are finished with your answers, you need to tag one person for each letter of your middle name.

M- Most people I know think I'm crazier than hell.

A- Annie is my name, and APATHY is the game.
For those who can't read this, it says "The opposite of good is not evil. The opposite of good is APATHY". And, for those who have no clue what apathy is, ask me if I care. *hint*

R- Raggedy Ann is the one name I loathe being referred to as.

I- I can go from 0 to Bitch in 2.3 seconds.

E- Everything I do in life, centers around this man...
This was taken on Christmas Day, the little guy is his cousin's son. The guy loves kids, can you tell?

Lucky me, I get to tag 5 people. Alright guys, you know who you are. My sis, My hubby, Sara, Shell, and hmmm let's shake it up a bit this time and throw in Tracy, from Faerie Mom. Hop to it, I'm waiting. And no, the photos aren't necessary. I just found that I like the tags this way, it stirs things up a bit!

I'm Done, and I Won It

2008-03-08T16:59:00.000-08:00

Look at that, good blog readers, you get a 2 for 1 post today! I have some material that I have been meaning to post for a few days, plus some new stuff.

First, I entered a contest last week over at Di's blog, you might remember this post. Well, guess what. I won. Oh yeah, baby! So, when T-Bone walked in from getting the mail on Thursday, and had a huge envelope marked "media" in his hands, I got super excited. This is what I pulled out of the package...
I absolutely loved the way this package came in the mail. Being a huge Forensics fan, this type of bag was RIGHT UP MY ALLEY!! I loved it so much, that I couldn't help but take everything out and take pics so that all of you lovely people can see what was inside.At the very bottom, is the lovely evidence bag. You have the yellow envelope marked "documents enclosed" that made me feel like an uber important type of person. No clue why, it just did. There is a thank you card from Di, and the book My Soul to Keep by Melanie Wells. Attached to the book, is a sticky that says "Just released Feb. 5th!" with an awesome squiggly line under it. I love this woman's handwriting!Here is a solo shot of the "evidence" bag that everything came in. I swear, if a tornado were coming and I had one thing to save other than my family, this bag would be it. It's just too neat to leave behind!A close-up of the book itself. I really can't wait to start reading it, but I must pace myself. I'm currently reading John Grisham's The Innocent Man, plus T-bone bought The Appeal, also by Grisham, for me yesterday. I think he's trying to hint for me to get off the computer. Point noted, NOT TAKEN. :)Here's a top view of the card that Di sent me. I thought it was the cutest!
"Annie, Enjoy! Please let me know how you like the book!" Signed, Di. With her website addy, of course. Www.liveandletdi.com. It's her new site, as she boasts in this card!And, my warm and fuzzy feeling maker "documents enclosed" envelope. I love that green! It just screams.. LOOK AT ME!!!I bet you were wondering what was inside the "documents enclosed" envelope. Hey, so was I! It's a small world, ain't it? Yeah, anyway. Enclosed, was a sheaf of papers that outline the book, with some background information. See the funny gray-ish smudge looking thing in the blue bar at the top of the page, about 2 inches from the left corner? Can you guess what it is? It's a fingerprint!! I was so stoked to see that, with the whole Forensic thing addiction that I have.

That's all that I have for that part of the post. I really can't wait to read the book, and once it's finished I will leave my aye or nay on it right here. Don't forget to drop by Di's blog, she's a great lady!

Okay, this next part isn't for the weak stomached. Or the faint hearted. In fact, if you value your life, you might not want to read any further. I won't think any less of you for turning back right now, and never returning.

To hell with that, you know I will hold a grudge and come hunting you down. So suck it up, fasten your seat belts, and fear the ride. Oh yes, fear it.

Did I ever mention that we acquired the house we live in absolutely free? And that we pay nothing more than a mere $100 tax for the state of PA once a year? No? Well, I must have felt that you didn't need to know. But it's a crucial part of evidence in what you are about to see below.

You see, you can't get something for nothing. Nope, you definitely can't. So, what we wound up with is no mansion. In fact, it isn't even a damn mini-condo. What it is, is a fashioned monstrosity made to resemble living quarters. No, really. Okay, wait, I'm lying. It's liveable, by far. But.. I left a really nice apartment that I adored to no end for this place, and it needed work. A lot. So much, that I cringe at the thought of what we still need to do.

Nearly 4 months ago, we purchased paint for Buckwheat's room. We knew it needed it, so I figured if I had it hanging around, it would get done in a timely manner. I don't think that nearly 4 months is a timely manner, but hey. I tackled it today. Hardcore.

Before I show you a pic of his room, please keep in mind that we didn't intend to use this room for anything other than storage until it was entirely remodeled. Then, a friend of ours moved in with us last March, and those plans were thrown out the window. And when he left, I moved Buckwheat into it. It was serviceable.. but I. HATED. IT.

Here's why, get ready for the shock and awe portion of this program.
This was Buckwheat's bedroom. From the doorway (which, the door isn't there, I removed it and replaced it with a baby gate). If you look straight in, you will see the shabby curtains, the water damage down the walls from year's ago that have since been fixed, and the funky non-matching colors. Absolutely horrific. I cringed to even look down the hallway and see this lurking at the end of it.Standing in his room, and looking to the left, you would be met with this view. An open closet. This boy has so many toys, along with the other 3 runts, that it was literally spilling over. And here's a nice vanity shot of the smoke stained walls (we don't smoke inside, but the previous occupants did), with a ragged curtain edge thrown in for free. Just looking at what I put up with is making me want to hurl myself off the closest bridge. What was I thinking?!?!Here is the wall above his bed. At some point last September, I acquired a buzzing bug up my ass and took some free paint from my mother, thinking that it would end my back bedroom woes. What it did, was make it worse. I found out that I didn't like it after painting just less than half of the room, and left it the way it was. I'm so horrible. I should join some sort of anonymous meeting over this.Proof that I quit painting the room less than halfway through lies in this pic. Along with a gaudy ass curtain. If you look to the top left of the window, you will see evidence of the smoke stained walls. I'm so glad I wasn't sniffing them, I'm sure I would have had enough nicotine intake to last me for 3 years!This is my last of the haunting pics. I swear, if they don't give you nightmares, you need to be seen. I'm sure that any shrink will tell you that you have an extreme desensitization to anything horrific. The double windows in his room, adorned with T-Bone's Philadelphia Eagles emblem that has been stuck to that window for over 14 years. Nice memorabilia, horrible water stains.

I couldn't take it a moment longer. I snagged T-Bone by the short hairs this morning, dragged him into this mess, and forced him to help me turn this dungeon into a bedroom. He obliged, but grudgingly. Did I mention he doesn't know how to paint? Yeah. Twenty-eight long years of his life, and he has never painted for more than 5 minutes. It's pathetic!

By this afternoon, life was looking grand. So grand, in fact, that I felt obligated to share the transformation with everyone! I know, I'm so thoughtful. Here's a slew of pics, nearly in the order that I presented them in the before section.

Drum roll please...So, what's all of this boil down to?
One gallon of Little Boy Blue Paint- $14.99
Spare curtains, Louvre doors, and an old laundry hammock- Free
Sweat, Fatigue, and Aching Muscles- Free
Proving to yourself that you aren't the redneck scumbag that the room portrayed you to be... PRICELESS!!

Very long post, after a very long and trying day. T-Bone's tired, I'm exhausted, and the room is done. I'm grateful. And, proud of myself for finally ridding that boil of a bedroom from my ~~ass~~ house!
P.s.- Did I forget to mention that we even painted the ceiling blue?? Yeah, we're nuts. That's why you like reading me!!

What These Say About Me

2008-03-04T05:31:00.000-08:00

Claire, over at Two Kids, a Gear-head and Me, did a tag that included the following rules:

The LOOK AT THIS STUFF! ISN'T IT NEAT? Tag

Find five things around your house (relatively) that say something about the person you are and snap a picture of them.

Tell us about them.

The pic that I posted first off says a bit about me, and isn't counting towards my 5 things. I just saw it on my computer and realized that it says quite a bit about me, and that it would fit here.
I'm a smart ass, I'm full of fun, and I hate to take things seriously. Oh, and I always sport the smug look, I'm not in Freud mode or I would try to break it down for all of you so you could better understand me. Let's just say that I'm not a snob, but I'm not the type of person that you are going to WANT to say hi to in the grocery store while in line if you don't know me. You're likely to be frightened off by the "touch me and die" look that I sport while in public.

Anyway, enough about my personality (which I'm actually tons of fun thank you very much) and on with the show!I'm. A. Geek. Nerd, brainiac, brown-noser, teacher's pet, anything of the sort.. that is who I am. I love to read. Love it so much, that I can NOT go to the bathroom without a book. Over the years, I have accumulated well over 200 books. What you see here, plus maybe 15 more, is all that I now have. Between moving, running, and leaving... all of my books have been scattered to the winds. The ones that I now have are the ones that I have managed to acquire again after the past 5 years. Not much, I know. I have a bigger habit of READING MY BOOKS 4 or 5 TIMES each. If I were a die hard about having a different (and new to me) book to read at different times, I would owe a truckload of debt. Books can be costly things, especially when they are Stephen King, John Grisham, or Nora Roberts. Also, I'm really not a book snob. If it is handed to me, I will read it. And it's rare that I don't finish a book because I didn't like it. Ok, the books are boring me... next!Truffle Whore. That's what this pic says about me. I don't mind chocolate, but I LOVE chocolate that has the word "truffle" on the label. As a matter of fact, my all time favorite candy.. I can't find this year... and this is the time of year that it is released! Ugh.. if anyone finds these bad boys anywhere, let me know. I will gladly wire you money via paypal so you can buy them and send them to me. I've searched everywhere.. so take a GOOD gander at these babies just in case you spot them...
WOW that's a big pic. I couldn't find the packaging, but they specifically say Dove Truffle on the package, and they are shaped like this. And, they only come 3 halves (if I remember right) per box. *sigh* I would die for these things, truly. Someone please find them and send me like 3 dozen!!! Anyway, back to the truffle whore thing. I didn't even pull out my whole truffle stash, as I just realized. I have some stashed in my dresser drawer for when I get in a fit during my sleeping hours. It must be Ambien induced.
Blurry pic, but you get a 3 for one right here. My computer, a Mountain Dew, and the cookbook I keep on my computer desk. Weird, huh? That's me though. I can NOT live without my computer. Can't. Or the Mountain Dew, for now. I plan to wean myself off it, at some point before summer hits. I've noticed that I make it through the heat with more ambition when I'm not slugging down Mountain Dew, and choose water instead. And the cookbook? That's my thing, baby. I cook. I like to try new food. I'm all over it.I'm a scent snob. Big time. I love to have candles burning in the house, but I will ONLY burn them if I am in the process of cleaning, then they will remain burning until they either go out on their own, I leave the house, or I go to bed. I love the Glade scent oil candles that you see in the purplish package. They melt down into an oil, and burn for hours. Plus, they give off the yummiest, and most vibrant scents that I have ever seen. Stacked in the basket with the Glade, are my breakaway tarts for my tart burner. In leather, sex on the beach, clean cotton, and vanilla musk. In the itty bitty basket, are little tart shots scented in Christmas Tree (pine) which gave the feel of a real Christmas this year since I won't allow a real tree. I'm the Grinch on that, and totally proud of it.Last, but not least, I'm a lover of all things dragon. I've lost a lot of my dragons over the years (much like my books) but I do have a small collection going again. This one just happened to be the one I chose for the pic. The others didn't catch the light right, and they looked blurrier than heck. What do dragons say about me? I think they show the side of my that loves to fantasize, about being a millionaire, writing a novel, winning the Nobel Prize.. ok, ok.. it says I'm a dreamer. And I can deal with that.
Sooo... I'm not tagging anyone. I know, don't you just hate that? But.. I'm not tagging anyone because if they need blog material, here it is. Run with it. Other than that, just enjoy what I posted, and consider yourself tagged if you have something of your own to say!

Menu Plan Monday 3/3-3/10

2008-03-03T05:59:00.000-08:00

So far, the crock pot recipes for last week are turning out to be duds. The slow cooker turkey sandwiches were okay, but they aren't something I can force myself to eat too often. The creamy red potatoes? They weren't done as much as I prefer them, making it hard to enjoy them. The sauce for the potatoes was okay, but not anything to do the cha cha slide over. We had the hearty beans with beef yesterday, which were okay. I had to add some cooked macaroni to it, it looked nothing more than beef with a smattering of beans. I don't recommend this recipe if you don't care for baked beans, because frankly... it's a baked bean casserole with beef. The end. :) T-Bone liked it, and has been a trooper so far, so I should consider myself blessed. This week, I'm heading back to old school and just throwing together a menu that won't be time consuming. Not that I have much going on this week, but I'm not so sure I want to spend time at the stove. Enough of my rambling, if you need more menu's, head on over and visit Laura@OrgJunkie and fill your week up!
Thursday- Supper Bakes (bought this a couple of week's ago and need to use it)
Friday- Spaghetti
Saturday- Kielbasa, Fried Potatoes
Sunday- Chili
Monday- Bruschetta Burgers, Fries
Tuesday- Quiche
Wednesday- Leftovers

Hoo-Ha Shenanigans

2008-02-28T20:23:00.000-08:00

Why is it that once you are reminded of something, you can't get rid of that moment no matter how hard you try? Even though you were blissfully unaware that THAT precise moment had ever existed, until someone brought it up again. This has happened to me. And it has opened up a whole venue of embarrassing moments for me lately, revolving around the object that I have thus far managed to dance around naming. I hate talking about it. Hate, hate, hate. BUT MAYBE... yes.. MAYBE.. if I share with everyone.. I will be able to get it OUT OF MY MIND before I go insane!
So, you ready to find out what I'm talking about? The one thing I covet above anything else, and rarely like to share? The one thing I take pride and joy in, and lavish a ton of attention on? Ok, I'm embellishing. A lot. Just trying to throw you off track.
I mean really.. who wants to talk about their female parts? Their va-jay-jay (Hallie speak), their hoo-ha, THEIR WOMANHOOD???
Well, I do. Of course. Because if I didn't... it wouldn't be here. So, kick back, relax, and enjoy my moments of HORROR, where the main character on the scene is my hoo-ha.
I had a horrible pregnancy with Buckwheat. Constant urinary tract infections that were uncontrollable, combined with kidney infections that knocked on my door at least monthly during those grueling nearly-9-months. To top it all off, that nasty little demon had his head shoved as far into my canal as he could get it, without breaking my water. Sometimes I swore that if I stood over a mirror, I would be able to see him peeking back at me.. HE WAS THAT LOW. And not just for a week, or two, or a month... but NEARLY 3 MONTHS. The most uncomfortable 3 months of pregnancy to begin with, were topped off with my son's head grinding into my nether regions. But anyway, I'm being sidetracked.
At some point late in my 8th month, I had an incident where I thought that my water broke. A quick trip to the hospital (I was unsure anyway, I had Braxton-Hicks contractions that didn't always go away with changing positions) assured me that it wasn't my water. My son was laying on my bladder so heavily, that I literally never felt the need to relieve myself, and couldn't control myself. Yeah, laugh it up. That still isn't the reason I'm posting this.
Within the next few days after the water that didn't break incident, I started noticing a weird discharge of fluids. And, to me, it had a slight odor to it. All I could think of was warm fresh bread (please don't let that ruin fresh bread for you.. except for you, and you over there, and you RIGHT THERE.. I don't mind if it ruins it for you guys). So, on my next OB visit, I pointed it out to my High Risk doc while he was doing an internal.
Now, let me point out that I didn't care for my doctor. Not one bit. I had a hard time understanding him, his English sucked that bad. He had no bedside manner, and even less humor. I couldn't talk to this guy about anything.
Before he could rattle off a list of things to do/not do over the next couple of weeks and then run out the door without answering my questions, I cornered him while he was finishing up the exam. And that is where I mortified myself for the rest of eternity.
T-Bone was there for every appointment I had, with it being his first child, he didn't want to miss a thing. Plus, the internals were always so uncomfortable and sometimes painful, that I used him to keep me calm. So, he was there when I mentioned it. And he was there to witness what happened next.
That doctor gave me a queer look, asked me what kind of "smell" I thought I was noticing, and after I explained that to me it smelled like warm bread... he did something awful. So awful, that I wiped it from my memory. Until T-Bone brought it up again a couple of weeks ago.. in front of friends.
Tired of waiting to see what happened??? Fine, I guess I should share.
That doctor leaned between my stirrup-ed legs, stopped mere centimeters from my hoo-ha (which, by the way.. was still uncovered)... and sniffed me. Long and hard. He took in a whole lungful of my femininity.
My mouth dropped. My heart stopped. He stood, exclaimed that everything smelled just fine to him, and walked away, pulling the curtain shut behind him. T-Bone actually had to start tugging on my arm to get me moving, so I could get dressed and leave the appointment. He must have noticed the look on my face, for he didn't say a word. Not then. Nope. My hubby's sweet like that.
The next appointment was set, instructions were given, I left the office. T-Bone and I were well in the truck and belted in before I broke the silence.
"No, he DID NOT just SNIFF ME!!" T-Bone couldn't control it any longer. He started laughing so hard that it took him a while to compose himself.
I understand what possessed the guy to do it, kind of. It wasn't like he was being a big old pervert, he was trying to get the gist of what I was smelling. And what better way to do that, than to go to the source. It was just so unexpected that it startled the hell out of me.
When I think about it though, if he had politely asked "Would you mind terribly if I sniffed your hoo-ha to get an accurate take on what you think you are smelling?"... I would have kicked the living shit out of him.. for as long as my legs could reach him. I would have been offended, I would have been shocked, I would have put up a fight. So, he just skipped all of that, and did what he thought he needed to do.
And that was embarrass me for life. Yup, that man needs a medal. And, if you need someone to sniff your hoo-ha for you, I have his number. I hope you are attracted to portly old guys with no humor, or it isn't going to go over well.

Getaway Recap

2008-02-27T11:18:00.000-08:00

We took off last weekend and made the just over 2 hour drive to Albany to visit our high school friend, Sara. We were originally supposed to head out nearly 2 weeks before we did, but a huge storm blew in and there was no way it was happening. Plus, to make it worse, the night before we were scheduled to leave for the second time, another storm blew in and had me chewing on my fingernails, waiting to see if it would clear up enough for us to leave in the morning.
Miraculously, all was clear Saturday morning and we prepared to leave.
Here's Buckwheat as we are preparing to leave, posing against the stack of shelving that will be used in his room once I get the bi-fold doors up, rug down, and new paint on the walls. Don't mind the monitor on the floor in my dining room, T-Bone has yet to take it out after it decided to stop working on his computer.Buckwheat and T-Bone posing, right before T-Bone hopped in the shower and dressed in real clothing, and not work threads. I have to remember not to take pics of him while wearing his EMT/Firefighter hat, it's reflective so that he can be seen in the dark while on a call.
We left at about 10:45 a.m., nearly 15 minutes behind schedule. On the way, I had to stop and head into a local grocery store to pick up some odds and ends that I either didn't have, or had forgotten. We hit lunch at McD's, and were on our way again.
Our second scheduled stop was at Brook's BBQ, the place rocks as I've mentioned before. We picked up 5 chicken halves to have with our dinner that night at Sara's. Fueled up, and headed out again.This was nearly an hour outside of our second stop, and around 15 minutes before T-Bone's first toll use encounter, which had him super nervous and wanting to pull his hair out. Did I forget to mention that T-Bone shaved in the car while I was in the grocery store? I think his pricey electric shaver that he had to have, has turned out to be a good investment after all!Buckwheat, at the same time, doing itsy bitsy spider. He usually doesn't play it without some extreme coaxing, so when I turned and saw him doing it on his own, I was impressed and managed to get a pic of it.
We had our harrowing turnpike experience, with T-Bone pissing other drivers off as he entered the wrong lane for the booths, then had to speed to catch the right exit right off it. Thankfully, these tolls were less than 15 minutes outside of Sara's home, so T-Bone had a bit of time to calm down before we pulled in the drive.
I didn't get any pics upon arrival, I think that getting settled in and reacquainted took most of my thought process, and I didn't manage to yank the camera out until all of us were in the kitchen, getting in the way, and helping/watching the dinner preparation.
T-Bone, in guest mode. He refuses to wear his hat in a kitchen, or near dinner time. Of course, he can't stand around chit chatting without his trusty sidekick, Old Man Dew. Those two are inseparable. The guy in the blue sweatshirt is Sara's hubby, Scott. And, on the right.. you can just barely see Sara at the counter.
Buckwheat, and Sara & Scott's little guy, Bug. They are both sitting in their big boy chairs for dinner time. The funny part about the big boy chairs? We brought ours up with us, and it turns out to be the exact same one that they have for Bug!Bug and Buckwheat, again. This time, Buckwheat is regaling us all with his prima ballerina pose. Yeah, he's a ham!T-Bone with the boys before dinner, giving them both antlers. Buckwheat calls it his big deer pose. He has millions!
Dinner was great, but Buckwheat was restless and really didn't eat like he should have. Bug, on the other hand, cleared his full plate, and asked for seconds!
After dinner, the boys played around while we all chatted. I have pics of them jumping on the bed that was made for us, pics of them playing, pics, pics, and more pics. But if I post them all at once, this post is going to be super long. So here are a few of my faves...
I was aiming for a pic of T-Bone as we were all chatting, and just as I aimed.. Sara scooted in for perfect timing! I LOVE this pic!Here's me and Sara. If I look kind of... agitated.. I was. A tad bit. We posed for this pic for at least 3 minutes before T-Bone actually got the camera to work. The look on my face is a tad pained, and for good reason. My eyes were burning from trying not to blink and ruin the pic, which would cause T-Bone to take another 3 minutes of posing to get another one! And, if you are thinking that Sara might belong to the clan of the short people, you would be wrong! She is actually maybe an inch or so shorter than I am. BUT.. I was wearing 3 inch heeled boots in this pic, and towered above her. I didn't realize it until after the pic was taken.I tried to do a one-handed-cam in front of face pic of me and T-Bone. It worked out all wrong, and I have the pic to prove it. But, to save my sanity with pic posting.. I will refrain from posting it. Yeah, that's the reason. Uhhh huh. Sure is. Sara took this pic for us, to save me another failure.Here's Sara, Scott, and Bug.. seeing us off on Sunday. We really did have a great time, and there was so much more to post about. But I'm wearing my lazy suit, and am so not in the mood to drag more pictures all over this blog. I told Sara that I would try to get them posted, and here they are!!

Giveaways Galore!

2008-02-26T11:05:00.000-08:00

Whew, what a day. Not just one contest going on that I am so digging, but two!!! Read that.. TWO!

Firstly, and only because I don't want to have to page hop around, head on over to Di's blog and enter into her

Oscars Schmoscars...Gimme a Book!!!CONTEST

The more you travel around her post, the more ways you will find to get entered. And hey, who doesn't want one of these??That's right. A suspense thriller. And I.WANT.IT. Then again, there isn't much that I don't want. But still! A shot at a free book, and I'm all over it. I love to read. That just proves I'm not your average PA woodchuck. *nods* Deadline is Feb. 29th. The best day in 4 years!

Then, dust off your oft used brain and head on over to Hallie's. You read that right. Hallie. As in... Wonderful World of Wieners. The one and only, baby. This up north bundle of firecrackers is hosting a contest of her own.. limericks+dachsies=more wieners than anyone knows what to do with.
You may submit one limerick to enter, if you like. BUT.. for those creative types out there who love to limerick it up.. go ahead and link to Hallie's wondiferous contest in a blog post of yours and feel free to jam up her comments section with as many limericks as you can come up with!
Oh.. almost forgot the prize that will drive all of you readers over there. Shame on me. For your time and creativity, the winner will receive a gift card to Pier 1 Imports! I so need one of those.. dun dun DUN!! And, what a coinkidink.. her contest ends on the 29th too.
Please tell me you still aren't here. Like.. go already. Get. Skedaddle. And contest it up!

Signs, Signs, Everywhere There's Signs

2008-02-26T08:26:00.001-08:00

Somehow, while commenting on Asthmagirl's blog yesterday (it was a post about a fish with signs extending off it) I ran off on a tangent and turned my comment totally into blog fodder for me, and left me apologizing for forgetting the real intention behind my comment to begin with. Don't you hate when that happens?
Anywho, my tangent included the massive amount of signs that I need posted around my home to instruct others as to locations of general commonly used items, where things go, and other common knowledge things. My children, and T-Bone on occasion, can't ever seem to remember what certain things are used for, where they go, or what they should do with them. So, I could totally use me some of the following signs.
No matter how big my garbage can is, I wind up with odds and ends that didn't make it in on the first shot from across the room, on my floor. Behind the can, next to it, or most popular, in front of it. And, what makes it even better, everyone in my house will walk by these wayward items, kicking them out of the way if they have to, just to get to their destination. Sometimes, I have seen the same person pass by the same piece of wrapper on the floor not once, or even twice, but upwards of eight times before I get tired of it being kicked and I pick it up. I always thought a garbage can was a pretty simple concept. Extend arm with trash in it, drop, pull arm back, walk away. Not around here though. Somehow, this concept has been turned into a scientific experiment to figure out if items dropped 3 feet away from said garbage can will miraculously hover and float their way into that can. So far, the results are pretty inconclusive. I will keep you updated.Every single time I ask one of my children to vacuum the floor, I'm always asked "Where is it?" Now, keep in mind that my vacuum isn't the world's tiniest version of this working wonder. Nope. It's a Bissell®. It's upright. And it's over 4 feet tall. No way can you miss this thing, and it isn't like I hide it under my bed. If they put forth a tiny bit of effort (and really, I mean tiny) they would find it in one of 3, possibly 4, locations. All of which are highly visible. In the dining room next to the cabinet, in the living room next to the big screen T.V. (surely, they can't miss it when it's sitting there since they watch so much of it.. can they? Yup.), in the computer room next to the fish tank, or in it's rightful place in the laundry room next to the bi-fold doors. I don't use my vacuum cleaner as a torturous form of the Easter Egg hunt. Really, I don't. I want my floors vacuumed, and I want it done by someone other than me. So, I certainly would not hide it.Above all the other signs that I want around my home, this one is absolutely needed. My poor floor has had so many urine drownings that I think it's debating as to whether it should rip up linoleum and head the hell out of dodge, just to regain some of its composure. The younger boys in my herd do not know how to aim. At all. I purposely stalk the bathroom when I know they are in it, so I can go in and rescue the floor as quickly as possible as soon as they exit. Just like the garbage can, I really didn't think that hitting the target was that hard to do. But, hang around one day when the boys are here and watch the river run through it after I.P. Freely (a.k.a. Toad or Stubby) leaves the bathroom. You would be amazed, and might possible start trying to come up with an invention that delivers urine to the correct place each and every time. I would invest in it.
These aren't the only things needed around my home. I need signs instructing where to leave dishes, where they can eat at, and where their jackets go. Along with the signs, I need full blown instruction manuals telling how to vacuum correctly, how to deliver scraped dishes to their correct locations, and how to keep the toys in the rooms they belong in. Extensive manuals. As in, step by step with pictures. In 20 languages, just in case.

Menu Plan Monday 2/28-3/6

2008-02-25T08:49:00.000-08:00

I'm so proud of myself for actually being on top of things this week! I'm pretty much trying a bunch of new things for this menu, I picked up a book of recipes called Taste of Home: Slow Cooker and it has a ton of recipes that I just can't wait to try. The best thing about this $5 book that I browsed through in the grocery aisle (and decided that I had to have it) is that it comes with 76 recipe cards that tear out easily, and are the perfect size!

If you are looking for more menus, head over to the Menu Plan Monday host site, Org Junkie. It's the best place to browse when you need some new ideas.

Thursday- Slow-Cooked Turkey Sandwiches*, Creamy Red Potatoes*
Friday- Out to dinner w/ runts (Chinese Buffet)
Saturday- Meatloaf, Homemade Mac 'n' Cheese, Carrots
Sunday- Hearty Beans with Beef*, Homemade Bread
Monday- Pizza Casserole*, Garlic Toast
Tuesday- Mix 'n' Match Omelette's, Toast
Wednesday- Leftovers
Slow-Cooked Turkey Sandwiches
6 c. cubed cooked turkey
2 c. cubed processed cheese (Velveeta)
1 can condensed Cream of Chicken Soup
1 can condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup
1/2 c. finely chopped onion
1/2 c. chopped celery
22 split sandwich buns, wheat is recommended
In a 3-qt. slow cooker, combine the first six ingredients. Cover and cook on low for 3-4 hours or until onion and celery are tender and cheese is melted. Stir before spooning onto buns.
Creamy Red Potatoes
7 c. cubed uncooked red potatoes
1 c. (8 ounces) cottage cheese
1/2 c. sour cream
1/2 c. cubed process cheese (Velveeta)
1 tablespoon dried minced onion
2 garlic cloves, minced
1/2 teaspoon salt
Paprika and minced chives, optional
Place the potatoes in a 3-qt. slow cooker. In a blender or food processor, puree cottage cheese and sour cream until smooth. Transfer to a bowl; stir in the processed cheese, onion, garlic and salt. Pour over potatoes and mix well.
Cover and cook on low for 5-6 hours or until potatoes are tender. Stir well before serving. Garnish with paprika and chives if desired.
Hearty Beans with Beef
1 pound ground beef
1 medium onion, chopped
1 can (16 ounces) baked beans, undrained
1 can (15-1/2 ounces) butter beans, rinsed and drained
1/2 c. ketchup
1/3 c. packed brown sugar
1 tablespoon barbecue sauce
1/4 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
In a large skillet, cook beef and onion over medium heat until meat is no longer pink; drain.
Transfer to a 5-qt. slow cooker. Stir in the remaining ingredients. Cover and cook on high for 3-4 hours or until heated through.
Pizza Casserole
3 pounds ground beef
1/2 c. chopped onion
1 jar (28 ounces) spaghetti sauce
2 jars (4-1/2 ounces each) sliced mushrooms, drained
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
Dash pepper
1 package (16 ounces) wide egg noodles, cooked and drained
2 packages (3-1/2 ounces each) sliced pepperoni
2 c. (8 ounces) shredded Cheddar Cheese
2 c. (8 ounces) shredded Mozzarella Cheese
Cook beef and onion over medium heat until meat is no longer pink; drain. Add spaghetti sauce, mushrooms, salt, garlic powder, oregano and pepper, heat through.
Spoon 4 cups into a 6-qt. slow cooker. Top with half of the noodles, pepperoni, and cheeses. Repeat layers. Cover and cook on high for 1 hour or until cheese is melted.***
***I think that I will be halving this recipe, and preparing it in a casserole dish and putting it in the oven. Or, if I decide to leave the recipe as a whole, I will prepare extras and freeze them. As is, it yields 12 servings.
And, for those who noticed that Thursday contains 2 recipes that need to be put in the crock pot, you win 1 nerd point. Unfortunately, I have just 1 crock pot. So, Wednesday will be used to make the Slow-cooked Turkey Sandwich filling, for I think it would be best served cold although it doesn't mention it in the book. If I test it on Wednesday and find that I prefer it warm, I have this wonderful invention called a microwave. It's a life saver.
Anyway, there you have it! I'm on time for once, and I can't wait to get crockin'! That kind of sounds... xxx'ish. You know what I meant. :)

Food... Glorious... Meme?

2008-02-23T04:37:00.000-08:00

I was tagged by Asthmagirl over at the Asthmagirl Cooks blog to do a food meme. On with the show!
Rules:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.
2. Share 5 facts about yourself.
3. Tag 5 people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them)
4. Let them know they've been tagged by leaving a comment at their blogs.

1. I love to cook, but I hate to do the dishes. And it irks me sometimes that I spend hours cooking, to enjoy the consumption for less than half an hour. I think that food should be a give and take relationship. Like, it took me 2 hours to cook it, so that food had better ante up with the 2 hours of delight that I should be getting from it.
2. My older sister refuses to try something new that I have made. Even if I have made it a ton of times, and everyone else loves it, she won't touch it if it deviates from her current food tastes. I made chocolate chip cookies for our cookie exchange at Christmas, and because I used vanilla pudding mix as an additive to keep them super soft, she refused to touch them. To my face anyway. When she thought I wasn't paying attention, she chowed down and found out the real joys of chocolate chip cookies done right!
3. My favorite food is lasagna, hands down. I will it eat every day, all day, and never tire of it. I currently use P-dub's Best Lasagna Ever recipe, and tweaked it a bit to my satisfaction. If you look in my freezer, you will see more than 3 trays of lasagna already cooked, and just waiting for the rest of my family to be ready to ingest lasagna, again.
4. I'm currently in love with a Cajun blend seasoning that I picked up as a replacement for crushed red pepper seasoning. Wal-Mart was completely out (yeah, wtf right?). This stuff has a sassy kick, and I've managed to use it in things just to liven it up. I think I used it on my eggs one day too, I'm totally becoming a seasoned Cajun whore.
5. I was in such a hurry to get the flock out of dodge, that I forgot to put a #5 in and had to fix it. Hmmm... there are certain things that I won't allow to touch on a plate. Just certain things, mind you. Like anything sweet cannot touch breads, meats, pastas.. well.. ANYTHING. My sweets need to remain untouched by anything else, and I won't eat another food if anything sweet has touched it. I refuse to try any meat that has anything sweet in it (like, pineapples (bleh), apples (bleh), apricots (bleh) you get the picture). I'm a meat snob, and refuse to have it girlied. Meat should be manly (and smothered in garlic).
Okay, enough about food 'cuz at this early hour it's making me hungry! Ahhh, five people that should be tagged about food. Kinda difficult, some people I know don't like to cook unless it's Stouffer's, so I'm going to point the finger at the following...
1. T-Bone (you saw that coming, right?) *He went to culinary school, let's find out how much time he spent in class while he was there, 'cuz I haven't seen much cookin' going on in my kitchen unless I'm doing it!
2. Sara *She's gotta have something up her sleeve!*
3. Shell *Just 'cuz I really wanna know her takes on food that she somehow manages to get her hubby to prepare.. I need tips!*
4. Tami *One good tag deserves another*
5. Ness *I chose her because I absolutely have to know what this woman does love food wise, when her pet peeve food dislikes aren't thrown into the mix*

Heading off to Sara's for the night, I can't believe I'm going to be able to spend more than 5 minutes with her! It's been over 12 years since I have seen her for more than just passing, and I'm tres excited. I promise to take lots of pics! T-Bone and I will be home tomorrow in time for the race, so I will try to upload them then.

And He Hated Me for Good Reason...

2008-02-22T12:07:00.001-08:00

Have you ever had something so monumentally horrific happen that you didn't think you would ever be able to face the light of day again? Something that made you want to curl into a fetal position, suck your thumb, and make weird mewing sounds for at least a month (bare minimum, depending on the severity.. it could have been for a year)? That's happened to me on at least.. oh.. rough estimate.. a gazillion times in my short 28 years of life. But one time that has been hanging out in my mind today was the one that banned me from Shell's house for an indeterminate timespan. It couldn't have been too awfully long, I think this incident occurred when I was 11 and she was 10, and by the time I was 12 we were hanging out together again.

Anywho, on with the story. Shell's dad held the most hatred for me ever after he left me and Shell alone in the house on one rainy day. Extreme boredom must have set in on that particular day. Something hung in the air that left a feeling of "something bad is coming this way" in my mouth from the moment that we bored with her massive collection of Barbie's®, their paraphernalia and all, which took up a good portion of her bedroom. The idea of dressing up was tossed aside as quickly as it was mentioned, it was a muggy day and constant changing just didn't meet the requirements for pre-pubescent sweat free fun.

We roamed upstairs for a bit, there was a nice little niche at the top of the stairs that contained only one room on the entire second floor of their quaint little abode. It was a great place for the gaming console revolution at that time. Shell owned a most coveted Nintendo®, something I could never fathom having in all of my childish dreams. And not only did she own the Nintendo®, she also had the gaming mat that went with it. Endless days of our younger years were spent in this room, running and jumping along to the modern technology of the late 80's, early 90's. Summer sweat would pour off us in gallons during vacation, and during the winter we would warm ourselves with that same type of sweat after a bitter cold walk home from school. Life was grand in that second floor room...

Until this particular day when Barbie®, with her perky plastic boobs and equally perky plastic booty, couldn't hold our interest for more than 5 minutes. I should have known that disaster lay ahead at that precise moment, Shell and I could Barbie® it up for hours on any given day. If Barbie® couldn't make me a happy child, you can bet your happy little ass that Nintendo® wasn't going to fill the bill either. Shell and I had an indescribable and unspoken itch that neither of us could lay a finger on. Until Shell suggested that we go treasure hunting in her attic. On the second floor. Next to the awesome little niche that held so many fond memories for me.

I was completely game. The two of us were always up for something new, and we had only been in her attic on maybe one occasion before this day. We imagined finding something so awesomely rad in that attic, that our afternoon would be filled with delight that was thus far unmatched in our young years.

Shell went first, walking steadily into the attic without a care in the world. She turned to the left, and out of my line of sight, so I readily followed behind her. I should have turned around and headed for home right that very minute. But, I lacked common sense at that age. Well, I still do, but that is besides the point. That day, I was a ball of curiosity that needed untangling.

I turned to the left, and started to head back towards the wall that was on the same end of the attic as the door that we had entered through. Shell was already at the wall, digging into boxes and moving things around without a care. She never even looked my way, so I figured that she was on a mission and I had better join her immediately so we could find an adventure on this rainy day.

Without missing a beat, I started towards Shell, weaving around boxes and clutter as I went. I was nearly close enough to touch her when the world beneath me seemed to disappear.

This is the point where I wish that I could tell you that Shell had found an ancient book, opened it, and transported us to a world of fantasy. Or, that I could tell you that somehow a black hole to nothingness opened up, a rip in time, and that I was sucked into it. Best yet, I wish that I could tell you it was a warp zone from Mario Brothers®, and that I was being summonsed to join the funky little spaghetti eating Italian plumbers to help them vanquish evil and rescue Princess Toadstool. I really, really, really wish I could tell you any of these. But, I cannot, and must plow ahead with the painful memory of what really happened on that day.

Just as quickly as the floor disappeared, something solid reappeared under me like lightning. There was nary a nanosecond between the two, just enough for me to realize that something had occurred. Oh yes, something indeed had occurred. Something that had me wanting to puke in fear the moment I realized what had happened.

The first thing I noticed, right off the bat, was that my hand was dangling into one of these...
Somehow, miraculously, magically, a sink had appeared in Shell's attic! But, wait, my leg was dangling into something too, at an oddly spread eagled disadvantage point. My eyes could not believe what they were seeing! My right leg was dangling into this while my left hand was fluttering into that above.My mind reached out in a million different directions all at once as it tried to piece together what was happening. It raced faster than it ever had as it tried to put this puzzle together, and in its heightened state of wtf-ness, nothing was coming together. As I tried to still my racing brain and bongo-drum-beating heart, I noticed that my tush was wet. And getting much wetter by the second. I swiveled my head down my body, and found my booty sitting in here while my leg dangled in this and my hand fluttered around in that.
My 11 year old ass was crack deep in tidy-bowl cleaner. Now, imagine if you will, the hand fluttering in the sink, the leg dangling in the tub, and the ass bathing in the toilet. And the bewildered look on my face that put the icing on the commode cake.I could hear Shell yelling from somewhere not too far away, but for the life of me I couldn't see her. Then, I could hear the furious pounding of feet on stairs. My first thought was that Shell was running off to leave me in the wonderful la la land of attic. As my brain started to slow down, I took stock of what was going on around me. And realized, with dawning horror, that I was in Shell's bathroom. It was her sink, her tub, her commode that my body was casually lounging in. But how on earth had it transported to the attic?? One final look around, and I was greeted with the following sight, and everything fell into place immediately.This hole right here depicts almost the same view I was looking up at almost 17 years ago. This was the black hole that transported me from the attic, and into Shell's bathroom. As she rushed up to the bathroom door, she was chanting "Oh no, Dad's gonna kill me. Oh no, Dad's gonna kill me. Oh no.. Da... Oh wow! Are you ok?" It took her a couple of seconds to register that not only was there a gaping hole leading from the attic to the basement, but that I may have injured myself during the very short trip.

I managed to disentangle my limbs from her bathroom facilities, and slowly stood, testing every muscle, joint, and bone to make sure that all was in working order. As we surveyed the damage, her father returns home and walks in to find me with a soaked ass, standing in his bathroom doorway, and gazing at the heavens.

You know how when someone is angry on the old cartoons, their face turns red and steam comes from their ears? This is the only time in my life that I have nearly seen it almost replicated for real. Being the church going man that her father was, he didn't curse at me like any other parent would have. But he ranted, and he raved, and he banished me from their house. And from Shell. And told me that I was a bad egg, and a bad influence. He sent me home crying, fearing my parents worse than I feared him, for he had vowed to call them and demand that they pay for the damage.

As far as I know, he didn't demand payment, and he had it fixed the next time I happened to be there (which, like I said, was in under a year but I can't remember just how long it was). The man never much cared for me all along, and that incident topped it all off. Even though I was allowed to hang with Shell again, his opinion of me never changed and he was very leery of allowing me in his home when he wasn't scrutinizing my every move.

I run into him from time to time, now that Shell and I are all grown up and have families of our own. Amazingly? This man strikes up a conversation with me every damned time, as if I have never fallen through his ceiling and cost him unexpected expenses. Maybe it's Alzheimer's, or Parkinsons', that is causing his memory lapse. Or, maybe I've changed and he has seen that I'm really a great person now.

On second thought, it must be Alzheimer's or Parkinsons', 'cuz I ain't changed one damned bit!!

Weird Things About Me Tag

2008-02-21T05:58:00.000-08:00

Tami lovingly tagged me for this meme, so I'm playing along just so I have blog material (I know, you must get tired of reading about nothing but Menu's!)

Once you are tagged, link back to the person who tagged you.Post these instructions on your blog.Post 7 random or weird facts about yourself on your blog (the weirder the better, if you ask me).Tag 7 people and link to them even if you think they won’t do it.Comment on their blog to let them know they have been tagged and hunt them down if you have to. These are the rules to follow, so I will be giving my facts and tagging some others. If you have already been tagged, oops, I guess I just want to know more facts about you.

7 weird things about me:

1. I'd rather puke in a sink than in a toilet. Yakking in a toilet makes me heave 10 times harder than I had originally intended to. Something about foreign pubes in the toilet (usually stuck in a spot where the cleaner of said toilet never sees it) just sets me off even more. And, if I have a pukey feeling but it just lingers, I can be guaranteed to get rid of it just by looking into a toilet bowl. Don't ask why I felt the need to talk about puke. Just read it.

2. I have the shortest attention span when it comes to projects. I will go into an idea headlong with a full steam, just to drop it the moment that it gets repetitive, mundane, or time consuming. I would love to scrapbook my photos, but I refuse to even put my photos in an album because the task starts looking like too much work when I think about it. You have to find the photos, then sort them, then put them in.. it's all a mind thing. Once I start thinking about what is involved in something, my mind shuts down and vetoes whatever I was thinking. I honestly think that I need some baby steps thinking programs to get me to finish 9/10 of the things around my home.

3. I have a hard time keeping my bedroom clean. If I were to take a picture of it and post it on my blog, I would lose a good chunk of my readers based on the picture alone. I like things to be clean, but I love for my bedroom to be the one room that I don't have to worry about keeping pretenses of clean. My clean clothing never makes it to my dresser, the dressers are cluttered, and I have an open closet (it has no doors) that seriously needs a good purging. Easter basket storage, important papers, stuff from T-Bone's mom & stepdad that were never thrown out.. it's awful. Now it's making me cringe!

4. I don't mind taking the kids somewhere fun to hang out so they can have a good time. But, if I'm not occupied in other adult interaction while we are there, the kids had better decide to have a ton of fun in less than half an hour, so I can leave. I don't like being somewhere with the kids and have to tag around behind them because I have nothing better to do. Case in point, Chuck E. Cheese the other day. The place was super crowded, we couldn't get a table because I refuse to order food there (hmm... pizza or IHop.. pizza or IHop.. yanno, the decision was so difficult) so I had to hold 3 jackets the entire time we were there. I was wearing a pair of new heeled boots, and standing there was killing me more than if I had ran a marathon. To top it all off, the amount of heat that was radiating off the bodies in that place was enough to have sweat pooling at the neck of my hoodie. I was tres uncomfortable, and I stuck it out for nearly 2 hours. But I made them book it out of there doing 90 mph, at the least.

5. When I'm pregnant, my body starts acting like my immune system is super purified and way too clean. What makes me think this? It could be the fact that I purposely drive fast on dirt roads to kick up dust (with the windows all of the way down) so I can inhale the flying dirt. Or, it could be that I get the strongest urge to take a container of baby powder and squeeze it lightly so I can inhale the little particles that poof up. Anything that gives off a slight dusting, I'm all over it. And for some reason, I get the strangest feeling of satisfaction after I inhale any of these things.

6. I will not drink milk, then smoke a cigarette. Or, drink milk, then eat certain foods afterwards. I get the sense that the milk curdles inside of me, and I can't do it. BUT.. I can't have a milkshake or chocolate milk without a cigarette. Yes, cigarettes.. they will kill me. But, it won't be from plain curdled milk!

7. If I deviate from my shower ritual, I feel like everything is all off. One slight change, and I'm feeling the need to end the shower, dry off, and start the showering process all over the right way. Makes it rough when T-Bone wants to "conserve" water and take a shower with me. I have to be super careful to have the basic procedure followed so I don't get out cringing.

Okay, enough weirdness. I'm sure that you now know more than you wanted to. But WAIT! There's more. I get to tag 7 people! Beware...

T-Bone, Shell, Sara, Leigh, Claireboe, Ness, and Wendy. Boy, that seems to be getting easier, or it's just that everyone hasn't done this one yet and tagged everyone I know! Have fun with it!