Far From Perfect

Things I want to cook this Fall/Winter

2009-10-01T18:12:00.000-07:00

Just a post to collect the recipes I am interested in:

1. Cheese Straws
2. Chocolate covered orange peels
3. Banana Bread : Find a recipe that uses Sour Cream to add to the moistness.
4. Kimchi
5. My mom's coffee (chocolate too?) fruit cake with alcohol
6. Chocolate mousse with olive oil
7. passion fruit parfait when i go home. Passions fruits are ridiculously expensive here.

Also, I want to try southern Texas Ruby Red grapefruit. Maybe from here. Grapefruit is a fruit that in theory I should love, but which I have hated with every Michigan/Indiana grocery bought variety.

2009-10-01T17:50:00.000-07:00

As you could tell from the lack of posts, I'd been pretty pre-occupied lately. So what has been going on?

For one thing, Summer announced her departure with finality and a loud slam of the door. Then Fall pouted and refused to come out and play, giving Winter a chance to steal home base. It went from 70+F to 30+F overnight. The fields were frosted over this morning. Boy am I glad that our landlord had the sense to remove the docks last week when the water temperature was still bearable.

Eric moved with his girlfriend T to Chicago. How I miss those 2 kids. I had much fun with them, and they are just really excellent people. I have a new roomate now. She is a high school English teacher, recently divorced, with a boyfriend in tow. I am looking forward to get to know her more and maybe get some new perspective of life from an older woman. Thought her boyfriend weird at first, yet the guy is starting to grow on me. Can't really find fault with a guy who fixes the dock, cooks and turns on the furnace, thereby rescuing the girls from a freezing death.

What else. I am dating again, long distance. As in such cases, travel has increased a fair amount in the past months. It's a long story of how we met, suffice to say I am happy and have been having fun thus far, and I think (hope) that he is too. Just taking it one step at a time, reminding myself to be generous and patient, though in this case it hardly requires trying.

Also, I forgot Chirp chirp's Birthday! Pretty aghast. Happy Birthday Chirp. Hope everything goes well for you, and the present will follow sometime in the next few months....if not then when i see you again. :p

So there. Wanted to start posting again because I am getting less chance to talk to dad nowadays due to timing issues, and because apparently my family is still checking my blog (Mai Jee, Hi!).

What I want right now

2009-07-16T18:13:00.000-07:00

Is to run away.
From myself and everyone else.
Spend some time not thinking. just moving. taking it one minute at a time.
Just existing.

This urge

2009-03-04T18:31:00.000-08:00

I don't know about other blog writers. But when i re-read my old posts, this intensely strong urge to delete every single one of them, for lack of originality, overt-sentimentalism, wrong grammar or pure bad writing, bubbles up and threatens to spill into action.
Therefore i no longer read my old posts.

There is no title worthy

2009-01-22T18:46:00.000-08:00

I have no more distinctness or pointedness in my yearnings than an expanded bud, which does indeed point to flower and fruit, to summer and autumn, but is aware of the warm sun and spring influence only. I feel ripe for something, yet do nothing, can't discover what that thing is. I feel fertile merely. It is seedtime with me. I have lain fallow long enough.

Notwithstanding a sense of unworthiness which possesses me, not without reason, notwithstanding that I regard myself as a good deal of a scamp, yet for the most part the spirit of the universe is unaccountably kind to me, and I enjoy perhaps an unusual share of happiness."

---Henry David Thoreau, Age 33, Journal Entry for November 16, 1850.

Why I haven't posted in 2 months.

2008-09-29T20:04:00.001-07:00

too busy having fun.

Turned 30

2008-07-16T17:47:00.000-07:00

Turned 30 in an aerobed lying on the wooden floor of a Sunday school classroom in a beautiful and peaceful southern Baptist church in Texas.
Resolve to continue acting like a 12 year old boy as often and as long as possible.

if i were a book

2008-07-16T17:40:00.000-07:00

I know that there are people who really protect their books, wrap em up in covers and treat them with the utmost care. But I don't. Because if i were a book, i would want to be so intriguing that I'd be brought everywhere, including the bath and toilet, because the reader can't put me down, be read and re-read and re-read countless times, and be dropped on the floor as the reader reluctantly gives in to sleep.
I'd rather be dog-eared, stained, wrinkled, having given beyond my price, than to be spick and span and new-as-never-opened.

spring

2008-05-15T19:02:00.001-07:00

Spring, air molecules tingling of hope and blooms,
temperamental temperatures and rain.
w00t!
Is that a haiku?
I just need to post something because i don't want that depressing previous post to be on top forever.
I went cycling (or biking as they call it here. Back home, biking means naik mototsikal) today, scouting out a non busy route that will facilitate my ambition to cycle 14 miles to work 3x a week, because petrol (or gas as it's known here, though i could not understand why - it's a liquid, not a gas, nor solid, nor plasma) is $4 per gallon, and while it took only $28 to fill up an empty tank on my little chevvy 3 months ago, now it takes $48.. Plus, I'd been slowly working at that huge 1 gallon tube of cherry + chocolate fudge premium strictly high fat ice cream in my freezer, and replacing badminton with piano concerts for the past 3 weeks.
Thoughts that ran through my head as I was biking:

1. This looks like Anne Shirley's house! (Passing by an absolutely charming house with what could pass as a gurgling brook, and weeping willows by the brook)

2. Hell, yeah brother! (Passing by a house with a huge sign outside that says "Impeach Bush". Though it sure looks like a very Republican house to me, with trucks and butterflies pinned on a board in the living room. Why do I connect red-neckedness to Republicans. Oh wait, that's an oxymoron.)

3. This is a very nice spot to take pictures! (Passing by a little circular clearing beside the road, surrounded by thick trees, covered by fresh baby green grass, the evening sunlight streamin through the trees, gently blanketing the grass, with the coolest stump of a tree at the centre of the clearing. wait, now it sounds like a good spot for some mischievous witches to cook up some magical potions on a night of the full moon too)

and... that was about it. All i could remember from the 30 minute ride. Again, confirmation that nothing much goes on in this brain of mine.

and to end on a graceful note, this picture that I took.

Tulips are everywhere now. I wish my mom and dad could come see them. They are absolutely gorgeous.

2008-03-02T14:23:00.000-08:00

I know that I need to move on.
But somethings are just so hard to let go.
I try and I try, to see the fact the my world and my life is so much bigger
than my supposedly fleeting sorrow,
but I'm like an overloaded bucket of tears,
cracked and hurting,
and not knowing if things will ever be alright again.

Kalamazoo on Jan 14th 2008 aka Western Michigan's Winter at its.. norm

2008-02-16T07:22:00.001-08:00

Woke up at 700am. Laze for 15 minutes. Hot Hot Shower. Dumped 3-5cookies in maw. Drank glass of tap water (filtered, mom). Got out of apartment. Sees this.

No. 20 consecutive days of Car-Eaten-Alive-by-Overnight-Snow when you're late for work is not fun. Hence on Snow will be known as The S that must not be named. Or, as known by close friends and family, S.

It was probably about 15F.

Close up view of my blue baby (blue as in blue from the cold..get it? he..he...snort. Maybe not)

Gingerly walked across S covered pavement. Luckily there was no layer of ice (S's evil twin) down there. Stepped next to car. Looks down. hm.. we have about 6 inches today. Notice left foot completely drowned by S.

Started engine, and switched on the heater line thingies for heating the back windshield. Got out of car with essential weapon of choice - this stick that you see above, placed approximately 60 degrees to the windshield. It is about 2 feet tall (there're smaller or bigger versions of it too), with a few rows of brush at one end, and a hard flat surface perpendicular to the axis of the shaft at the other end. The brush is use for brushing off S from your car, or body if you choose to. The flat end is for scraping ice off windows and windshields. Or for murdering cockroaches. It is, of course, as with all consumer products in USA, made in China.

Luckily the snow was fresh, and temperature didn't fluctuate much through the night. There was no ice that needed to be scraped off underneath the snow. Got done in about 10 minutes. Sat on drivers seat and proceeded to kick legs together to shake S off sneakers. used gloved hands to dust S from legs of pants. At that moment I finally understood the reason for existence of snow boots.

Apartment doesn't do a good job of cleaning the roads in the early am.

But the Kalamazoo Municipal council does. Some admirable driver in a tractor like vehicle had pushed most of the S off the road in the wee am. The rest of it were melted by liberal spraying of salt on the roads with an awesome salt sprayer truck. Well, awesome unless you're driving directly behind one. The salt works for temps above 10F only.

Got in to work, on time. Yoohoo!
Spent 8 hours attending meetings, doing drawings, talking, machining. Then, at 530pm. Came out to parking lot, to see this:

The cycle repeats.

I wish i were...

2008-02-14T22:02:00.000-08:00

homeward bound. again. soon.

1:03am.
Iced Horlicks.
Jet lagged and missing home.

Ferrero Dark Chocolate

2008-01-30T18:19:00.000-08:00

So hor, that day at Meijer I saw that Ferrero came out with DARK CHOCOLATE flavor!! I was so excited. I love dark chocolate. And I love Ferrero. Now that they both come together it's like i get a pay raise and tiok the 4D at the same time.
So, to share the joy, here i present, tang tang tang tang..

FERRERO RONDNOIR!

Top view. Packaging still nice, like ferrero rocher, but dark and full of antioxidants.

But, once opened, can see that instead of nuts cam chocolate, it's actually coated with dark chocolate bits

Take a bite..yum yum... the interior still got the biskut/wafer layer, but the cream inside is dark chocolate cream (what's the proper term - ganache??) . And here's the disappointment - in the middle is not a but. It's a solid dark chocolate creamy piece.

Side view.

Conclusion. Not as nice as ferrero rocher la. what a let down. But finish it anyway. It's still good though it missed greatness by an inch.

How is it possible to be this cold?

2008-01-21T19:45:00.000-08:00

I keep confusing Farenheit and Kelvin. And keep thinking that if atomic spins are frozen at 0 degrees, and it's already sub-zero, how is it that I'm still alive?

*click to enlarge*

Just came back to the Zoo

2008-01-14T22:13:00.000-08:00

Jet Lagged. 114am.
Shouldn't have slept the 3 hrs from 7 to 10pm.

One more argument for having Friends

2007-12-05T17:13:00.000-08:00

Sometime ago I was visiting Washington DC with my friend terry. DC is really the perfect holiday destination for cheapos like me - it houses one of the best (in my opinion) and largest museum complex in the world, the Smithsonian. And it's absofreakinglutely free. (Which is partly why it features so highly in my opinion).

So, the Smithsonian in DC consists of 13 museums (including a Zoo), spanning a length of 1 mile (1.6km), and ranging from the obvious (Natural history, Modern and contemporary art, Air and Space) to the less expected (Postal, Asian Art). Of course we spent most of our 2 day visit there, plus the national gallery of Art, which was in the same area.

The size of the crowd was pretty intimidating, it being a Summer national holiday extending into a weekend. There were scores of Asian tourists around - old chinese couples out on day trips with their children and granchildren, no doubt on a short trip to visit their children who are working here; young asian women hanging onto their significantly older caucasian ... er... boyfriends, whom we saw by the dozen (whats up with that?), young families out for the weekend from nearby cities.

Among the young families was this particularly irritating young family of a chinese looking guy with his wife, whom we met in the National Gallery of Art. They are most probably chinese because they spoke chinese accented mandarin.

A little bit on the Gallery setup - it was divided into multiple rooms, each with a theme (either by type or date of art, or artist). The rooms are interconnected via opened doorways, and the exhibits are placed on or near the four walls of each room, at the middle of which the interior designers had thoughtfully placed four long benches, each facing one wall, so that visitors could sit down and feast their eyes on the pieces.

We first met this couple in front of this giant oil painting of Daniel in the Lion den. I was sitting on one of the benches facing Daniel, feeling really tired from walking and dehydration, when the front view of The Wife Holding The Kid suddenly appeared in my field of view, followed by the back view of her husband holding the camera. *click click* went the camera, *flash flash* went the flash. Then, camera and kid was exchanged between Hubby and Wifey, and Wife took a picture of the Husband in front of the same Daniel with Lion painting. "oh they like the painting huh?" I thought. "Those lions are really good"

So we proceeded to wander around, with peace in our hearts and ache in our feet. In the next room, right in front of a painting of Claude Monet's garden, we encountered this couple again. *click click* went the camera, *flash flash* went the flash, kid and camera exchanged, wife and husband took turns taking picture with the same painting, without even looking at the painting before and after, or noticing that their little film fest was blocking the people on the benches who were trying to appreciate the art.

Pretty soon we were noticing this couple everywhere we went -this cam whoring addict pair on a speed trip. They would arrive at every single famous piece of painting, hastily insert their body into the center of the frame , disregard the crowd that was orderly gathered in a semicircle around the art, and take turns taking pictures, to prove that NOT ONE, but BOTH of them had been in the PRESENCE of EVERY, SINGLE, FAMOUS piece of art in DC's National Gallery of Art. Our shared Asianess and Chineseness, and the disgusted expression on the other patrons deepened my mix of horror, shame and amazement at what they were doing. Long after that day, I kept repeating the story as amusement to my friends.

Fast forward to a weekend a few months later. I was lazing on my bed talking to one of my best friends Wai on the phone. She was telling me about her recent trip to Hong Kong and Shen Zhen.

Wai: I wanna show you guys my photos! But where can I upload them ha? Too many of them.."

KG: There're plenty of online albums that you could use la. How many pictures you took?"

Wai: er.. alot. I think about 1500 with me in the picture.

kg: What?? How many days did you go ha?

Wai: 3 days lor.

That divides out to 500 pictures per day. How does one manage to take 500 pictures per day?? Read on...

Wai: We went to madam tussaud's wax museum. I took picture with every single one of the wax figures! (Insert kg's gasp) Must be worth the trip. And we actually spent 2 1/2 hr on a stretch of road that was just supposed to last 30 minutes, because we were taking pictures. The tour guide just about died because he insisted on walking with us instead of taking the bus.

both: hehehe.. wahahaha..

In a flash i was reminded of that chinese couple we met in DC. And suddenly I felt very sorry for making fun of them, and looking down on them. Because, one of the people who are dear to me, unbeknown to me, exhibit the same cam whoriness that they possess. Although I highly doubt that Wai will display such blatant disregard for the world in search of the perfect picture, i no longer think that cam whoringness, or the desire to take pictures with every living thing that one comes across, as dungu exploits. That same photo-taking-obsession, when seen in Wai, becomes just an endearing quirk (and the usage of the word "quirk"means only that it is strange to the writer in her own limited understanding of the world). Because although we sometimes irritate the heck out of each other, a more caring, lovable, trustworthy, loyal and responsible person is hard to come by. She cares with actions, not only words. And I know of at least 2 other girls who count her a blessing in their lives.

So, no, i don't make fun of the Couple At The Museum anymore. Because, who knows, taken out of the museum/gallery setting, they might be really great people like Wai. Plus i totally would not make fun of Wai the way I made fun of The Couple. There you go, one more argument for having friends, they help us decrease our contempt towards other people, because realizing and accepting differences between friends allows us to extend our sphere of acceptance to similar differences from other people too.

And wai? i would still totally love to go on trips with you, but let's avoid locations with wax museums.

the current

2007-10-10T19:30:00.000-07:00

Reading:
Cosmos
Fountainhead (still..)

Listening:
Some country music(!) sound track that my boss(!!) burned for me. It's actually pretty good(!!!).

Watching:
Nothing. But hopefully "An inconvenient truth" by the gore this weekend.

Eating:
Mantou from my ex roomate. Her mom sells paus and mantous (chinese bread) in kaosiong, taiwan. Every Summer she (my roomate, not her mom) goes back home for 3 months. When she comes back, her luggage is half filled with 1/2 thawed mantous and paus, which she dutifully distributes to all her friends. She usually keeps 2 packets for herself in the freezer. And then the following summer the 2 packets will be discarded to be replaced by 2 fresh ones from taiwan. :) BUt, her mom's mantous are great! almost comparable to my mom's paus.

Smelling:
baby carrots boiling on the stove top.

Touching:
keyboard of 2.5 yo keyboard of toshiba laptop, which is now prone to frequent tantrums and refusal of working for long periods. it might have joined a union.

Feeling:
Tired from badminton. The people here are kinda trying to top each other off in making me run till i drop training me. But it's good. finally getting some training after playing for 6 yrs w/out improvement.
and also tension, because work oh work. why did my boss hafta take off to disneyland this week? why did the person in chg of the urgent -line-will-shutdown-if-not-resolved project have to go on campus recruitment this week? I dislike people dumping last minute screw ups on me, esp when those screw ups do not belong to me.
Also, an undercurrent of sadness. Because of a loss. Had seen it coming. Is for the best. but still.
Also, an undercurrent of excitement. for loads of activities that will go on in october.

Thinking:
Halloween is this month. there are several occasions to dress up - coworkers partays and also dressing up to work. It's a custom here. What shall i dress up as? ooo..my 1st halloween! dont want anything slutty. all the costumes houses sell slutty clothes. geez.

One Quote

2007-09-23T20:42:00.001-07:00

To anonymous who said "you've made my plan shaken!" in one of the previous posts, i read this today:

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
-Mark Twain

The sea beckons, my fondest friend.

Penguin

2007-09-17T18:55:00.001-07:00

Do you know what language the word penguin originated from?
.
.
.
CANTONESE!!
According to a SEA language expert, the word Penguin actually originated from an asian dialect, and that dialect is Cantonese! The originator is unknown though, but through the centuries it has been incorporated into the Englisg lexicon.

Penguin = Peng-Guin

Gun= Nice way of saying bird. Example:Dou Guin (Chinese: Du Juan)
Peng hai mat yeh? Peng ma hai ICE lor!

Penguin= ICE Bird = Bird found on Ice!

Is this not amazing?

Going overseas is not romantic

2007-09-09T14:11:00.000-07:00

Friends sometimes have this misconception that the KG is brave to venture out into this big unknown land beyond the South China Sea. They think and sometimes express admiration about the guts it takes to leave almost everything behind to try to better and challenge oneself.

Let me hereby clarify this - No, KG is neither brave nor gutsy. In fact, most of the time she is a fool, a greedy coward or a paranoid little bitch, many times all three at once. The trip here was full of tears, doubts and fears. There was such trepidation in facing the unknown, in living a misers life, in competing with a cold world, in having no-one to go to movies with. There were so many tears because of home and friend sickness. It was miserable, and still sometimes is. It's depressing to wake up from a nap alone in an apartment a bajillion miles away from home. and knowing that the aloneness will last for what seems like forever. It's pathetic in times of stormy weathers not to have someone to talk to, or to lean on, or to tokkok with. And the doubts, oh the doubts of whether she'd make it, whether it's all worth it, whether she was making the right decision!

Some people think that going to a foreign country is romantic, or so high class, or so fun. But it is not always true. 99% underestimate the challenges that comes when the only one you can truly depend on, in darkness and in light and at all times, is yourself. Especially those who are older and dont have the structured life of a college student.

Kg can't help but think frequently that she was a fool. Because, because so many of the most important things in life are found right at home. Family, Friends, love, a place to belong to. (And Teh Bing, Char Kuey Teow and asam laksa). Life is so short, there is so little time. What is ambition compared to love? If the world were to end tomorrow, I'll let go of all self-bettering and potential-fulfilling pretenses and head right home. And ought we not live like everyday is the last day of our lives?

I'm that paranoid bitch today.

Another proof of moronism in Bolehland

2007-09-06T19:11:00.000-07:00

http://www.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2007/9/6/nation/18796676&sec=nation

papa roach?

2007-09-06T19:01:00.000-07:00

A rock concert coming soon. Should I go?
xxxxx
Summer - ending. 830's sunset compared to 930 two weeks ago. Fall's feet thread ever lightly but surely.
xxxxx
Contentedness - like a flighty lover, it appears only when you stop searching.
xxxxx
A mess - what my house is. with newspapers and laundered clothes and receipts and bills and junk mails.
xxxxx
Dread - what if i can't solve the problem?
xxxxx
Weekend - coming. Can't wait.

Chirp! and Labor Day weekend

2007-08-30T20:03:00.000-07:00

Chirp!
I didn't know you read one! wow. so busy somemore can read my blog! KNS!
ok, this weekend is labor day weekend - ie 3 day weekend. I was planning and very much looking forward to a camping trip up north, but after being fong fei kei by a friend (very geram story) at the last minute, i have decided to spend twice the price of normal airfare to fly to washington DC for 2 days. I will join terry there, and will tour all the free museums until my legs or eyes fall off. and we will have a jolly good time eating everything exotic in sight.If nothing else, terry and i share the same curiosity for exotic food (at least i remember both of use buying weird ass cereal in college).

I have to fly out of detroit though which is a few hours from here. KNS.
and fly back in and drive another few hrs back home.

To comfort myself i will stop to shop at a biggie shopping place on the way. To rest my tired feet pressing against the accelerator. Ahem.

Happy long weekend and Merdeka Day back home! Even though our country is imperfect, at least it's independent. Though depending on the context, that might not say much.

well, what are you gonna do for the weekend?

my cheapness

2007-08-27T19:03:00.000-07:00

I'm back!!
**Cough**cough*** (strains to see through the billowing dust)
**ahhtttchoo!!** (dusts cobwebs from skirt)

For all 2 of you who actually reads this blog regularly, i apologize for the unannounced hiatus. The reason behind my MIA is that only one that can be blamed on genetics (mom's side ahem) - cheaponess. I've moved out from the hotel provided by my work place more than a month ago, to a sunny apartment in the midst of trees, beds of flowers and a highway. But due to extreme cheapness, and rebellion against monopolization of anykind, had refrained from getting cable internet (from the only cable provider authorized by the apt management)and dial up (from the only dial up provider available in US - the stupoid ATxT). The cable speed and modem i didn't need and didn't want to pay for. The dial up insisted that i get a bundle together with a phone land line, which i didn't need and didn't want to pay for.

So i hedged and hummmed and fummed and cry at the gods. and finally caved in and got cable.

And boy does it feel good to feel alive again.

Book of July

2007-07-14T20:44:00.000-07:00

Am reading Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. Will let you know how it goes.
I've loved reading all my life, but have so far remained mostly in the realms of light literature, like mystery novels and even the Animorph series (I know. groan). I occasionally wonder off into tangents (Mockingbird,root..heavier yet very readable) , but have always returned. Since coming here, I've met ppl who read very widely. And it made me realize that I might be missing out on some pretty cool ideas by avoiding those books that i consider heavy ie those who try to explore human nature.
So i've been reading john irving. and now ayn rand. and next will be milan kundera. And i've realised why i never got into these type of books even though i love reading so much. It's because they are mostly sad. And I don't like sad stories, or movies for that matter. I like gutsy stories. preferably with sunshine and rainbows thrown in at the ending (Explains why I can enjoy Bollywood movies too).