Consumption Rebellion

The PR messages of chocolate companies...

2009-07-14T10:41:00.010+10:00

Perhaps one of the most viewed posts here on my blog is my list of slave-free chocolates available in Australia. That list I have compiled slowly over several months. I have received wonderful support from readers here and in "real life" in compiling that list - many people sought to undertake research of their own and then informed me of what they have found. There were times when readers here have disagreed and corrected me on my information and I have amended the post accordingly.

I have also received many queries regarding the source of my list and how I have compiled it. In response, I wrote my sources in the comments section of that post and again as a proper post.

Today, I decided to expand on how I have written the third ("Use slaves, but...") and
and fourth ("Use slaves and they don't care") categories. As a reminder to everyone, I have openly said before that I wrote those last two categories are based on *my* reaction to responses (or non-responses) from chocolate companies and my knowledge from more reputable sources. By that I mean, those two categories were written from *my own* deconstruction of messages churned out by those chocolate compaines. Feel free to disagree with me. (I only ask that you disagree in a way that is constructive and accountable.)

So on to the messages...

I have found that for those companies in the fourth category (and some in the third category), there were similar messages in their response to queries regarding their cocoa sources. I will list those messages now. If you have received different messages, please post here.

Claim 1: They do not get their cocoa from the Ivory Coast

This claim seems to play on popular notions that child-slavery in cocoa farms are limited to the Ivory Coast. Child slavery is *not* limited to the Ivory Coast alone. On 15 June 2001, The International Labour Organisation(ILO) published a report that concludes that child-slavery and trafficking is rampant throughout West Africa. The countries mentioned in the report include: Benin, Burkina Faso, Cameroon, Côte d'Ivoire (Ivory Coast), Gabon, Ghana, Mali, Nigeria and Togo.

All the responses I received from the companies I listed in category four stated that they got their cocoa from Ghana. This statement is often made without reference to the slavery issue in Ghana, but rather as a comparison to slavery issue in the Ivory Coast.

On 31 October 2007, the Payson Centre at Tulane University (funded by the US Department of Labor) reported on the cocoa industry and the slavery issue in Ghana and the Ivory Coast. The report concludes that child-slavery (termed "forced labour" in the report) still exists and that both Ghana and the Ivory Coast have moved very slowly in reporting back as per previous international agreements to do so. For the full report see: http://www.childlabor-payson.org/FirstAnnualReport.pdf

In addition, the Government of Ghana have been quite open that slavery is part of their culture. (See: http://www.modernghana.com/news/24677/1/child-slavery-in-ghana.html) While the Goverment of Ghana are working towards child-slavery, many welfare organisations do state that they have a very limited capacity to do so and hampered by the efforts of the Ghanian Government to try and minimise publicity over the issue (see: http://www.freetheslaves.net/Document.Doc?id=20)

Therefore I question the claim by these chocolate companies and their motives for even stating this fact. In all of my correspondence to them, I never once mention the Ivory Coast (I just question whether they do, indeed, source their cocoa from farms who use child-slaves). Instead I get a paragraph diverting my attention to Ghana instead of the Ivory Coast.

Claim 2: They participate in the International Cocoa Initiative (ICI) and the World Cocoa Foundation(WCF).

The WCF is one of the organisations that were a key feature of the Harken Engel Protocol. This is the protocol that had an original life as a certification system where chocolate can be labelled "slave-free". They then set up the International Cocoa Initiative (ICI) to oversee this project. The WCF sits under the ICI.

Unfortunately, that protocol has now been reduced to a survey instrument rather than a certification system. (See my blog post: http://consumption-rebellion.blogspot.com/2008/07/jamie-oliver-chickens-but-what-about.html)

While the WCF and the ICI have tried to address the problem, I think it has failed miserably. See the Tulane University Report again and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Cocoa_Initiative.

It is my opinion that for a problem of this magnitude, self-regulation (which is essentially what happened when membership to the ICI and WCF was opened to the chocolate companies) was *not* a good policy call because instead of exercising the powers given to these organisations, there has been effort instead to change the policy so it no longer had any "teeth". Many of the funds given to the ICI and WCF have been redirected to research projects on how to grow cocoa more efficiently.

While I support research, I do not believe so much of the ICI's resources should have gone to research and should have gone instead of addressing the immediate problem - which is that there are children being locked up every night in over crowded cells and being forced to work in isolation from their community.

Having said that, I do acknowledge that the ICI and the WCF have at least helped *some* farms through the provision of education (though the details and results of that education are very very unclear).

Claim 3: Buying from Fairtrade accredited sources would compromise the quality of their chocolates.

This one would have to be one of the most puzzling claims to me and it was made by Lindt in two of their emails to me. According to Lindt, under the rules of Fairtrade, they would not be able to reject low quality beans from suppliers.

I searched the Fairtrade Labelling Standards for Cocoa and I can not see anything in the rules that say that buyers *have* to buy low quality beans. There are rules in there regarding labour standards, logistical, administrative and technical requirements for exporting products etc. In fact, the standards seem to me to ensure the delivery of quality products rather than forcing buyers to buy low quality products. If I have read the standards wrong, then please let me know!

Further, Cadbury UK's recent decision to move to Fairtrade accreditation for their Dairy Milk line seems to be in direct contradiction with Lindt's claim. This post from Cadbury UK's blog seems to be very confident that the taste of their dairy milk chocolate will remain the same after they have gained fairtrade accreditation.

And now my other thoughts...

Finally, why did I have 2 separate categories in the first place?? As I have stated previously, I decided to separate the companies because in my opinion, some (like Cadbury and Cocoa Farm) are making a concerted effort to change cultural problems and systems inherent in the Cocoa Industry. So yes, I also do admit that this is a value judgement on my part.

In talking to chocolate companies that *are* fairtrade certified or organic certified, I have noticed one MAJOR difference. These companies are always willing to name their sources. In short, they are TRANSPARENT in their dealings. They do *not* make vague statements like: "we pay our suppliers premium price to ensure that their workers are paid fairly..." or "we only use reputable suppliers for our cocoa".

The other thing about these ethical companies is that they conduct regular (and usually independent) audits to ensure people are not being exploited and they were more than happy to tell me the company who does their audit and most offered to release the executive summary of their latest audit report to me.

When I compare the way the companies in categories 1 to 3 have informed me and the way companies in category 4 have acted, there is a distinct difference.

Categories 1 to 3 companies have acted more openly. Category 4 fed me a whole heap of "facts" that were only half the story and did not correlate in anyway with information given to me by an overwhelmingly large number of other companies in Categories 1 to 3.

Finally, I have received one anonymous comment telling me that I need to "prove" that those companies in Category 4 use child-slavery. Given that so many independent reports have already indicated that child-slavery is widespread in the cocoa industry, I think the "proof" should go the other way...that these companies need to prove that are NOT using child-slavery. Therefore, if anyone can produce for me correspondence from the chocolate companies I have named bluntly stating that they do *not* use cocoa harvested by child-slaves, then I'd love to see it!

For further reading, see also: http://www.globalexchange.org/campaigns/fairtrade/cocoa/background.html

Other lists of chocolate companies and their "rankings":

http://vision.ucsd.edu/~kbranson/stopchocolateslavery/main.html
http://www.betterworldshopper.com/r-chocolate.html

Frugal Decor: The children's bedroom!

2009-07-13T13:32:00.011+10:00

Hello all!

My no spending weekend went well. I have to admit Sunday in particular was pretty hard for me. I was right in the thick of decorating my kids' bedroom (they share a room) and there were many times when I felt like I "needed" to go out and buy stuff for it. BUT I resisted the urge (having a broken car helped 'cause I had even more of an excuse not to just hop in my car and drive to all my usual second-hand decor supply haunts.

Just a bit of a background to new readers. I recently moved house and I needed to furnish it top to bottom - including down to little things like cutlery, kitchenware, whitegoods etc. I had resolved to furnish my entire house with as low a carbon footprint that I can get and with that, as frugally as possible.

So here is what I hope to be the second last installment of my frugal decor series:

Feature Wall. Total Cost = $10

The letters are cut out of cardboard (I store most cardboard boxes I come across) and painted. The canvases are spare from my craft supplies. A long time ago, I found 4 blank canvases at $5 each in an op shop - they were a bit dusty but nothing that a good clean that didn't fix. I painted over the marks left behind by my cleaning efforts anyway. My children designed them and I carried out their instructions and put the letters over the top.

The coat rack I made out of a plank of wood I found underneath the house. I painted it and just put nails on it for the hooks. The nails looked ugly as hooks though, then I remembered what the knitta please mob do with ugly things and so my daughter french knitted over the top of the nails to make the "hooks" a bit prettier. Getting it attached to the wall was a bit of a hassle 'cause I don't have a drill but eventually got it there by nailing 4 nails at the bottom, using that as the "shelf" and then nailing 2 nails at the top to hook over the top of the plank. It seems to hold up alright. Well, its holding their school bags which are currently full of heavy books 'cause its the school holidays so that's as good a test as any.

The pictures are from a book that Button Beauty gave me when she got a motherload that PMM would love. The book was pretty tattered so I saved some of the save-able pages and put the rest in the recycling bin. I stuck them up there using contact as contact doesn't mark walls.

The problem with my kids' room is that while there are plenty of hanging space in their wardrobes the shelves are too high for them to reach themselves. There is, however, an inbuilt bookshelf in their room. I decided to use this space to store some of their clothes. Their pyjamas at the top shelf so its easy to get to.

Storage area. Total cost = $0

For the bottom shelf, I didn't want the clothes there to be visible so I made fabric boxes using some of my fabric offcuts. The fabric boxes use up a lot of material (need big lots) and I really only had enough for two boxes. I suppose I could've pieced together fabric ala patchwork style but...well, I really wanted their room done by today and patchwork takes me a long time to do. To cover up the rest of the shelf, I nailed a couple of old placemats to act like curtains. It rolls up for the kids to access their clothes:

The kids really love this feature. And surprisingly insist on having both "curtains" down when they have finished gettng the clothes they want out of the shelf.

Now as I said before, their wardrobe is really more about hanging space, so I did this:

Daughter's "side"

Son's "side"

Wardrobe "Reno". Total Cost = $20

I didn't spend the $20 last weekend! I spent it back in November specifically for this purpose. The little cane side tables were from Salvos at $10 each. The "dirty clothes" box at the side were actually just cardboard boxes I had lying around the house and I just covered it in fabric.

As for beds? They have a bunk bed. My dad bought it 'cause he couldn't get his head around me buying 2nd hand beds for the kids (I would've bought the mattress brand new)...but THANK YOU DAD!

Incidentally, the bed and the contact paper has been the only truly brand new items that have been bought for this house.

Total cost of children's bedroom (to me) = $40

Total cost of house decor to date (including some gardening tools) = $567

As you can see, my no-spending weekend really did affect my choices for bedroom decor but it was good because it forced me to think laterally to achieve what I wanted. I think if I was spending this weekend, I would've bought wooden/cane boxes and the coat rack (instead of making my own) but I'm actually happy with what I chose in the end.

Now I only have one room to go! Its the spare room - not sure what "type" of room I should make the spare room. I want a room that would be used and not sit empty except for the rare occassions I actually get guests staying. So if you have any ideas on what sort of room it should be, then let me know!

Thank You! Also, Featuring Kylie's comment :)

2009-07-11T18:37:00.008+10:00

Hey all!

Well, so far, day 1 of the no-spending weekend has gone pretty well. I just pottered around the house and concentrated on starting the decorating in my kid's bedroom. There have been a couple of times when I almost went out and bought something for the decor but ended up making do with what I had instead. So there you go, even my decluttered home contains "spares" for me to use instead of buying (even if I am buying second-hand).

Anyway, I thought I'd spend some time today just acknowledging everyone's comments here. I love reading what everyone has to say about the stuff I write here. Your comments have made me laugh, made me think, made me re-think :P, and made me change the way I do things. Most of all your comments really do encourage me to keep picking my way through leading a more simpler life.

Snapshot of some of the comments under my "Being Neighbourly" Post

I thought I might share with you a comment made recently by Kylie on an old post of mine :):

...last year I gave up chocolate for six months to draw attention to the issue of lack of sanitation (toilets) for many people in the world. (Sounds silly but is really important and can affect people's health, education, work) There isn't an obvious link between chocolate and sanitation but the idea was that my friends would know it must be something important to make me give up chocolate. I put aside the (considerable) money that I would normally spend on chocolate and also asked friends to sponsor me. At the end of the 6 months I put all of the money towards financing toilets in developing countries (through an NGO). Enough for 50 toilets - not a huge amount but I figured it was better than doing nothing and a lot of my friends now know a lot more than they used to about sanitation.

Thank you so much Kylie for sharing your story! That is so inspiring! Kylie's comment caught me because I recently wrote on SGF about access to water and sanitation in developing countries. There are now several local communities who are much better off because of Kylie's efforts.

Another thing is that a couple of people have written some very nice emails to me complementing my reconstructed clothing efforts. Thank you so much for taking the time to write to me too! Long time readers here will know though that I'm actually very new to sewing. I sewed my very first item (a button on a coat) only 2 and a half years ago! I have always had so many excuses to never learn how to sew or craft. Those excuses ranging from: "I don't have enough time" to "But I'm not creative at all." The funny thing is that I now get so much out of sewing and crafting. And its definitely cheaper than therapy! (hehe)

For those who are interested in taking up sewing and crafting, I wrote my story at SGF:

Learning how to sew (and while you're there check out the sewing suggestions other SGF authors have written!)

"But I'm not creative!"

Anyway, I hope you are all having a wonderful weekend. I hope to finish my children's bedroom this weekend so pics hopefully I'll have pics soon!

Rebuilding my nest egg

2009-07-09T18:20:00.007+10:00

So, regular readers will know that my nest egg is gone. Ah well, it could've been worse. Honestly, I think I would be even more stressed if I didn't have the nest egg in the first place.

So now I'm starting to focus on rebuilding my nest egg. I've already talked about my budget strategy, but obviously I need to do a little more now. There have been some great tips over at Simple Green Frugal Co-op (the other blog I write in). In particular I'm really liking the concept of consciously having "no-spending days". Now I pretty much already have done this now and then but its not been a conscious choice. So I've decided that I really need to set a no-spending challenge.

So this weekend will be my NO SPENDING WEEKEND. I'm not going to plan to spend stuff tomorrow either. My menu planning is holding up so technically I should have enough food for the weekend. I am also not expecting any bills to come up this weekend either (and bills don't arrive on weekends). The only temptations my way are:

1. The deceased estate auction being held this Sunday. I guess this is easy to avoid. I just won't go. I *did* have my eye on some pretty glassware and some bowls but I don't *need* them so I'll just let it go. (For other ONC'ers - that's one less competition for those glasses! If you do go and get those glasses, then please let me know here! I'd love to ooh and aah with you!)

2. Replenishing my craft supplies for my children's bedroom decor project. Okay this one is a toughie. Usually its when I'm in the middle of crafting that I suddenly decide I *need* a particular type of paint/glue/bit. So I normally go out and buy it. I'll be doing the kids bedroom decor tomorrow and over the weekend. So let's hope that I'm sufficiently organised by tomorrow to not need to spend anything by the weekend.

And that's it!

Now the other thing I've been thinking of has been to actually sell some of my crafts. Nothing huge. Maybe just selling some vinyl record bowls and record cover boxes and book wallets and book bags (note links take you to crafts I had made for myself), but I'll have to research which markets I should organise having a stall. It would be a one off thing. (If you have any ideas about which markets I should go to, let me know!) I'm not planning on selling regularly because to be honest I really suck at selling. Its bad enough when I have to "sell myself" when I'm applying for jobs let alone selling an item I actually crafted!

And finally, after much umming and aahming I've decided to sell this board game, "Called to Arms" that I have. I had originally planned to cut it up for crafting until I saw it at the Powerhouse Museum in Sydney (but the game is in pieces, while mine is still intact)! Its over 100 years old (printed between 1899 to 1901) and distributed by National Games which were based in Ballarat, Victoria. The game was based on Australia's (then current) engagement in the Boer War.

I also considered donating it to the Australian War Memorial but then as my neighbour told me - I should be thinking of rebuilding my nest egg.

Just so I can remember it (sob), here are some pics:

Front Cover

Actual board - check out the flag! Australia didn't have its own flag until 1903 so prior to that we used the British flag to represent Australian troops.

I asked around and it seems that Ebay is the way to go to sell my board game. What do you think?

Anyway, so those are my plans to rebuild my nest egg. Yep, the plans are not complicated and no doubt there are better ways to do it, but for now those plans suit me so I'll stick with them for now.

Wish me luck for this weekend! Hopefully I'll be consciously having no-spending days more regularly from now on!

My pirate boy and I...

2009-07-08T19:39:00.009+10:00

This morning, my son came up to me with a piece of fabric and said: "Can you make me into a pirate, mum?"

Now pretty much every fabric piece I own are remnants or last-chance scraps. The piece he was holding happens to be this one:

Not big enough to really do anything except for...

BRACES!

I attached the straps on to his black tracksuit pants with buttons. I also attached buttons on his shirt so the straps stayed on:

The bandana is actually a rag..don't worry its clean :) And the sash another fabric remnant.

Ah its so cool that my kids are still small!!

Anyway, it was also COLD this morning. And I really need a winter hat/beanie. I have been really jealous of Button Beauty's knitted beret, scarf and gloves ensemble. They look so great and so warm! Anyway, generous as always, BB gave me the pattern to knit it...but um knitting and me just don't mix. I couldn't get past the 5th row without making a mistake. And after the 5th time I had to frog two rows (and still not past the 5th row), I threw a tanty and decided to leave it for another time.

Well, patience and me get on even worse than knitting and me. So today, I couldn't stand it and I decided to cut up this old (and slightly out of shape) jumper:

And turned it to this:

Um...okay, did I mention that my 4 year old son was the only person around who could take a pic of me? I tried to teach him the concept of giving warning when about to take a shot and..

Um...okay. I give up. These are the best shots I can get out of him (there are heaps of my tummy and his knees for some reason). Ah well, you guys get the drift of what it looks like.

I sewed each piece using the faux overlock stitch on my sewing machine, then hand-sewed the frayed ends using blanket stitch. It seems to be holding up. I'm thinking of trying to make some gloves out of it too...but ran out of time (and patience).

Anyway, the rest of the day was spent with me and my boy playing pirates (he was the pirate and I alternated between his first mate and his um...island ("lie still MUM!! Islands don't move!!" - yes my son's imagination leans towards the psychedelic side).

Hope you all had a wonderful day too.

My big frugalling mistake

2009-07-07T17:02:00.006+10:00

Have you ever wondered if it was worth insuring? I have. Especially car insurance. See, I've been on the road for 16 years now and I've never had to claim against my insurance. For 16 years, I drove and paid for comprehensive car insurance and wondered...what if I just put money aside instead of paying insurance?

Then in recent months, with so much going on in my personal and work life, I just let it...lapse. I set aside the money for car insurance in my "nest egg" account and forgot all about it, fully expecting that nothing would happen (as nothing happened in 16 years).

And of course, it did. Sigh. Last week, I hit another car. It was dark and rainy. Three cars ahead of us, one of the cars suddenly braked (not sure why). I was behind another car and didn't really see it happening. All I know is that suddenly the car in front of me touched his brakes then swerved wildly on to the large median strip in the middle of the road. I panicked and hit my brakes *hard*. Bad move. This just 'caused my car to lock up in the wet weather and I slid out of control and into another car. (Thank goodness my kids were not in the car with me).

The damage to my car (above) is $2,600. I am still waiting for the other person to come back to me with his cost. (Hopefully not as much as there didn't seem to be as much damage to his car than mine.)

Now I look back and recalculated my car insurance. If I had continued to pay car insurance - to date, I would have paid the insurance company $8,000. So *if* I had not paid the insurance company, and saved the money I would have $8,000 in the bank. But of course, I don't. I only stopped paying car insurance this year...

What I did was that I played the odds... I gambled (without thinking of it as gambling). As with most gambling, I lost.

Luckily (?), I have my nest egg account and hopefully that will cover his costs as well as mine. I just feel a bit sad that I have to spend my nest egg on this rather than something special for me and the kids.

So the lesson for me:

1. Take advanced driving courses. Me braking that hard in the rain was definitely not the thing to do.

2. Being frugal and gambling does not mix.

I'm now just waiting for the other person to present me his bill and I'll get my car fixed then too. And straight after I've put the car in, I'll DEFINITELY be taking out insurance. If it happens again, I won't even have my nest egg to help me out of this fix.

No I haven't lost the blogging mojo...

2009-07-06T14:29:00.002+10:00

have just been extremely busy at work so that I can go on leave! Today is my first day of my 3 week holiday (yay!).

Unfortunately, my son has now caught the same virus as my daughter...he didn't catch it off her...he caught it from his school :(. So we're going through round 2 of the "pox virus"-but-its-not-chicken-pox illness.

He doesn't seem to have it so bad though, so that's a bonus.

So my plans for the next 3 weeks?

1. Have fun with my one on one time with my son!!

2. Finish home decorating! I still have my children's room and the spare room to go. I also have some large pieces of furniture that I need to upcycle :).

3. Get my car fixed. (long story that I will blog about later - I made a huge frugalling error!)

4. Apply for other jobs.... I need to really sort out my work/life fusion (thanks Paul for the term because the term work/life balance certainly doesn't fit for me!)

5. Make sure I get some days to just read and nap!

So hopefully you guys will see frequent blog posts from me over the next 3 weeks! (In the meantime, please send "get a great job" vibes to me please! I think I'm due for some good luck!!

Great movie review site for parents

2009-06-29T21:40:00.002+10:00

I've been meaning to blog about this but kept forgetting.

With my daughter having to spend so much time at home lately we've ended up resorting to hiring a couple of movies for us to watch.

Some time ago, I found the Young Media Australia's Movie Reviews website. They review old and new films and I love how they review them in regards to a movie's impact on children. They talk about:

- the synopsis and rating of the movie,
- particular scenes that may scare/disturb/confuse children below a certain age (eg. children at 5yrs, children at 8 yrs etc), AND
- they also talk about product placement(s).

I also love how they provide some helpful hints about things we can talk about after the movie. Its nice for someone to point out some things that may be obvious to me (eg sarcasm in a particular scene) may not be so obvious at my children's developmental stage.

Anyway, my daughter is much better now and I hope she'll be able to attend the last few days of school before end of term.

In the meantime, have you seen any good movies lately?

Reconstructed winter dress in 1 hour.

2009-06-26T16:51:00.011+10:00

So my daughter's been feeling very down this week. The rash is getting better, but well....it looks awful. That and the combination of not being able to play with other children is getting her down.

In an effort to cheer her up last night, I suggested that we dress up for a dinner at home. This means wearing our "bestest dresses", wearing jewelry and doing up our hair. My daughter *loves* dressing up. She also *loves* bling. So we went to her wardrobe and she happily contemplated a couple of dresses, then going through her jewelry box and decided which one to wear.

Then we went to my wardrobe and.... um.... in my daughter's words "you don't really have anything that's not for work, huh Mum".

Okay - so she has a point. I have a formal (wedding) dress but no party dresses as such. Plus all my dresses (yes the ones I wear to work) are all summer dresses.

So I realised that to carry the evening through, I needed a party dress. So hunting through my wardrobe, I found this:

Its an op shopped men's jumper I bought recently for ....$1. Its 100% lambswool and um...black. Its warm, its comfortable and IT'S DAGGY. Its my uber daggy jumper for my uber daggy days.

But daggy has no place, when a diva awaits :P.

So I cut off the cuffs on the sleeves then cut the sleeves again and re-sewed the sleeves.

I cut off the bottom and reshaped the torso and arms using the same coat I used for my reconstructed leather jacket as a guide for a shaped look.

Then I resewed the bottom upside down to get the "frill" look at the bottom and....

Incidentally, necklace is from my daughter's jewelry box (because she said that mine's "boring") and the boots are Country Road - op shopped at St Vinnies for $20.

My daughter also looked fantastic in her red dress but she didn't want me to take photos of her with the rash still on her face. So I'm putting up an older photo of her in it:

Imagine above dress but with much more bling.

Dinner was by candlelight using the best of our dinnerware and I got sushi from her favourite restaurant. I had a wonderful time and it was fantastic to see my beautiful daughter giggle and laugh throughout "our date".

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend.

When its raining little curve balls...

2009-06-23T15:05:00.006+10:00

The last couple of weeks have been hard for me. Things happening at work, including some last minute travel, me feeling like I'm missing too much of my kids lives as a result etc etc. By themselves not too bad but taken together it gets a bit...well tiring.

My daughter's sick at the moment - she has a viral rash all over her body. Doctor has confirmed that it's NOT chicken pox - but contagious anyway. So my son will be staying with my parents and I've gotten time off work. While I am feeling that this is a respite that I need, I do feel frustrated. I had planned to finish some stuff at work so that I can take time off in July without having to worry about unfinished stuff...

And a part of me also knows that I'm expending energy needlessly by feeling this frustration.

When the children were babies, I slowly learned that it was a LOT easier when I just went with the flow. It was emotionally and physically easier to *not* expect my children to sleep through the night but just take each night as it is and not have expectations of other nights. It was easier to feed my babies when they're hungry as opposed to having set meal times in my head.

Then my babies started to grow up and slowly those expectations started to creep back in. Then I returned to the workforce and I re-discovered the amount of control I can have over my day. The trouble with control is that the more you have it, the more expectations you have because of it.

Hence my current feeling of frustration. So I think I just need to re-learn that letting go for the next few days. The doctor has said that my daughter will be fine in 5 to 7 days. Something I need to reinforce within my self is to have faith that I can cope. That my daughter *will* be okay next week. And the week after that when I return to work, then I also *will* be able to cope with the inevitable back log.

I come from a mindset that I can have it all - that I can do it all. And that's another thing I will have to let go of (again). I need to remember that there will always be people who will help me.

When life is raining little curve balls, its time to let go and smile.

Smiling in the Rain by Just a Big Geek

Hope you all had a lovely weekend!

Another 5 min craft - transforming a tin

2009-06-20T08:29:00.006+10:00

Just a simple craft today. My daughter needs a money tin (to save for her stick insect). I had this tin in the cupboard that would do, but in my daughter's words, "its boring".

"Mummy's boring old tin"

Then I remembered Heidi and Seek's comment in my "Owning only as much as I can look after" post about decoupage and mod podge...

So with fabric scrap and modge podge, the tin has now been upcycled:

And has been renamed "beautiful money tin".

Hope you are all having a wonderful weekend! (Its raining again here! yay!)

Boggle craft!!

2009-06-18T12:55:00.006+10:00

Some people already know this but... I am a boggle-addict. Sad, but true. I love playing the game. If I could, I'd spend hours and hours playing it.

Unfortunately none of my friends want to play it with me (I'm always met with groans of "NO!!!" the minute I take out my boggle board - hehe). So I've resorted to having to go online to play it.

Anyway, the cool thing about going online is that you meet people who are better than you at the game. My Prolific friend, Alastair, is one of them. And not only is he the best Boggle player I've ever come across, he is also crafty! Recently, he gifted this Boggle craft to another Boggle player. Alastair agreed that I can blog about it (because I think its so cool) here.

Knitted boggle cubes!
How many words can you make out of it? (me = 52 words in 3 mins)

Complete with instructions!

Are you addicted to a board game?

If you want to see the making of this amazing boggle craft, check out Alastair's flickr photo stream. There's even a video in there of someone playing with the set. :D

Teaching my children about money

2009-06-15T21:32:00.008+10:00

I hope everyone had a lovely weekend. I spent much of this weekend talking to my daughter (aged 6 - or as she says "6 and 3 quarters")about pocket money.

I have promised her that the day she gets really good at recognising money and adding and subtracting by 1s, 5s and 10s will be the day I give her pocket money. Well it looks like that day is fast approaching for her! She still has to work on her subtractions in combinations of 10s, 5s and 1s (eg: 100 minus 10, minus 1, minus 5 equals...) but otherwise she seems to have a good grasp of basic arithmetic. So I'll be giving her pocket money starting next Monday.

She's very excited. Her excitement has worked in my favour because her favourite topic of conversation is about money.

See, I've decided not to tie pocket money to chores. Simple reason is that I just don't see the two of them as related. She (and her brother) have always done chores anyway...in fact, it was only recently that my daughter realised that what they do are called "chores"!!

It also helps me because I can teach her about money without having to think about chores either. For me, she has "earned" her money by becoming proficient at the very basics of it - the adding and subtracting by 1s, 5s and 10s. Next step for us is for her to now become proficient at managing that money. For me, that means learning about financial goal setting, saving and using alternatives.

Financial Goal-Setting

So as a first step, I asked her: "If you had money, what would you buy?" She told me she would buy a stick insect. So I wrote on a piece of paper stick insect, small aquarium and rocks = $65.

Then I asked her "If you had money to buy something little once a week, what would you buy?" And she told me that she would buy food from the canteen once a week (she's currently not allowed to do this). So I got the food list from the canteen and wrote all the foods she would buy and it all added up to $5.

Talking about Saving

I then told her that I will give her $6 a week for pocket money. This meant that she has $5 for the foods she would buy AND have $1 saved over which she can use to save for her stick insect - which would cost $65 after she's bought the aquarium, the rocks etc. This meant she would get her stick insect next year!

Looking at alternatives

As you can imagine, my daughter didn't like the idea of waiting that long for her stick insect. So the clever girl then said "I can look on Freecycle for the aquarium and the rocks....that's free."

She also said that she can get rocks from the garden and wash them, if she can't get those on freecycle.

And even more alternatives

After all this, I told her this brings the cost of her stick insect to $20. Which meant that she can have her stick insect by Christmas instead of next year. She still felt this was too long to wait, so I then sat down with her and said you can save for your stick insect by looking at what foods you can do without in the canteen. I told her she can save money if she brought her lunch from school instead.

She still didn't like this and said she wanted to buy something at the canteen with her friends. I told her that now its a matter of priority and that whatever she decides, that's okay. I told her that she can either wait till Christmas or have fun with her school friends.

After much thinking my clever girl came back and said, "I can still buy from the canteen and be with my friends but just not buy as much so I still can save money."

So I sat back down with her and went through the food list and in the end, she decided that she will just buy the chicken nuggets and not everything else. Instead, she will bring food from home to go with her chicken nuggets.

This meant that she now will only spend $3 a week of her $6 pocket money. Which meant she will get her stick insect in 7 weeks instead of Christmas. This is still a "long time" for her but we've agreed that there may be times when she will decide that she can bring all her lunch one week and so all her pocket money for that one week will go towards her stick insect.

Let's hope she can stick to what is effectively her first budget!! I know that there may be times when she'll slip up but I think saving up to get to $20 is a small enough amount as a first goal.

For now she's just so proud to be a "grown up" about money and I have to admit I've also very proud of her thought processes so far with it.

If you have any stories about pocket money, I'd love to hear them!

Embroidered notebooks

2009-06-12T21:30:00.006+10:00

Have you ever given a present "just because"?? I love "just because" presents - they can really turn an ordinary day to a special one.

I gave these to my kids a few days ago. They're similar to the fabric covered notebook I made a few days ago, but this time I thought I'd try my hand with some embroidery as well as applique.

Here's the one for my daughter:

And here's the one for my son:

It took me a couple of days to do it. As usual, I just used scrap fabrics to make the applique as well as the denim cover/backing. The pages inside were from a large sketch book I found at the op shop. I just sewed down the middle of the pages to connect it to the fabric book cover.

My children loved their "just because pressies". It even encouraged my "I-don't- need-a-pen - I-can-just-type-it" son to spend an hour drawing and trying to write his name in his new notebook.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a lovely weekend! I have some new neighbours across the road and I'm planning on popping over there tomorrow with some of my lemons. Otherwise, I'm just planning to relax.

What are your plans for the weekend?

Being neighbourly..

2009-06-08T22:03:00.012+10:00

When I was a teen, I used to *love* the TV show, Neighbours... Anyone remember that show from the late 80s?

I was in love in Guy Pearce (boy kneeling on one knee on the right) and wanted to have blonde curly hair like Kylie Minogue (short girl in the centre)...'course, with my Asian genes, I now realise how sad a look that would be on me).

But aside from my usual teen crushes and wannabe phases, one thing that really attracted me to that show was the idea of a close-knit community. A community where people just popped in and out of each other's houses - most of the time without knocking - to gossip, to borrow stuff or to return stuff.

I have lived in a lot of neighbourhoods since and I have to say a close-knit neighbourhood is a rarity. These days, it seems people are just too busy to get to know their neighbours... actually its more than being busy - its simply not done.

So it was a pleasant surprise the first time I moved into this neighbourhood over 10 years ago to receive a little card in the mail, the first day we moved in. It read:

"Hello and Welcome to ----- street! The nearest shops is at ----- street - just go up the hill, take the first left, then left at the T junction and the first right. They're open 7 days a week from 7am to 7pm. Garbo days are Mondays and the next garbo day is also recycling bin day. If you have any questions at all about the neighbourhood feel free to ask any of us!"

And the card was then signed by the people living in the ten houses nearest to us (they wrote their street number and street next to their name).

It was a wonderful gesture and something that came as a huge surprise to me. Perhaps its because all the people living in those houses were a lot older (in their 60s and 70s)- all of them had been in the area for over 40 years.

My local shops back in the 1970s. Consisting mainly of goods and wares stores. Check out how many bikes there used to be!!

Many of those neighbours (aside from two houses) have moved on now - some have died, some have gone to live with family and some have gone to live in retirement homes. New people - closer to my age or younger - have moved in.

Now that I'm back in this neighbourhood the second time round, I notice that its a much more busier place than it used to be. Where before there were always people in their houses or lounging in their gardens during the day, now almost everyone is at work or just have more activities during the day. Cars are always streaming in and out of houses - the "welcoming cards" have now stopped.

My local shops now. Mostly restaurants now (but still the original grocery store!) and no more bikes.

BUT some things are still the same. People still make the effort to chat to each other when our paths do cross. We still put each others bins in and out if we notice someone has forgotten to do it. I share my lemons around or help them carry their groceries in. They pop in to give me a magazine or help me lift furniture. We borrow from each other - tools, gardening or electrical items.

I realise now that we are all like this because we were all fortunate enough to have moved into a neighbourhood when there was enough left of an established community from the older generation to teach us what neighbours do.

I have to say, being a true neighbour still doesn't come as second nature to me. For me, I still have to force myself to remember that my neighbours are more than just people who happen to live next to me. I still um and ah when I need to borrow something from one of them. I wonder if I'm imposing. I ummed and ahhed about sharing my lemons - what if I'll be "interrupting" them?

But I'm determined to preserve the neighbourly atmosphere of this street, so I knock on their doors anyway and I'm always received with warmth and a smile. Perhaps one day, being neighbourly will be as easy for me as it was for my original neighbours. In the meantime, I watch my children confidently learn how to be neighbourly and I see how easy it is for them... and that alone is reason enough for me to keep on *being neighbourly*.

I hope everyone had a wonderful long weekend!

Owning only as much as I can look after

2009-06-07T19:45:00.005+10:00

In a couple of days, I would have been in my house now for 2 months! Time has flown!

One thing I have always found hard to keep up with has been housework but this time round...well, its been pretty easy! (oh man, now that I've said that, I just know I'll slip up later and will look back on this post with embarrassment)

Just a bit of a background for new readers of this blog - almost 9 months ago now, I had a huge life change - the end result being that I've had to pretty much start again from scratch in terms of household items (furniture, appliance, kitchenware - pretty much everything).

Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that almost everything I now own I regard as "treasures" - they are things that I've created, restored or upcycled. They are things I've 'found' in op shops, second-hand shops and second-hand markets, and couldn't believe my luck that no one else had grabbed them before me. They are things that truly reflect *me* - my taste AND my values. I have not had to compromise my carbon footprint nor buy from companies who exploit workers in order to furnish my house.

Or perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I don't actually own that much. I no longer have the 'luxury' of letting dishes pile up...simply because I don't have that much kitchenware. I no longer have to go through mounds of stuff to find a pair of shoes because... I don't have that much stuff...nor that many pairs of shoes.

The cool thing about buying old stuff is that they don't seem to breed the need to buy more stuff. Have you ever noticed that? I didn't until now. Here's an example... If I was buying brand new and I bought say a brand new non-stick frypan (because they all seem to be these days), then I need to buy utensils. BUT I can't just buy any type of utensils, I would "need" to buy utensils that would not damage my non-stick frypan...and so now my choice of utensils have become limited to pretty much buying brand new for those as well because the chances of getting a full range of those types of cooking utensils second hand is pretty rare. THEN when I go to the shops, I notice that many utensils seem to come in "packs" - if I needed one cooking spoon, I see that its almost the same price to get two cooking spoons (albeit one is "plain" and the other is "fancy") in a pack rather than just the one cooking spoon. Next thing you know, you end up with more cooking utensils than you need. See what I mean about brand new stuff "breeding"? I also think it is limiting my choices because I just can't buy a cooking spoon - it has to be a special type of cooking spoon.

Now going with that example but this time using the second-hand option. I noticed that almost all good second hand kitchen pots and pans are either enamel, (the heavy kind - not the thin kind you see brand new), ceramic or cast iron. They cost pretty much the same as the brand-new non-stick pans BUT they are better quality. These pots and pans have lasted a long long time and they are still useable (plus the food seems to taste better in them too). Now I turn to buy utensils...and I realised that I can buy whatever utensils I want. These pots and pans can withstand pretty much all of them. So I just buy the utensils I use (second-hand) rather than packs of utensils brand new. And this way I save money on the utensils AND I don't end up with utensils I don't use. And I'm only using 1 drawer for all my utensils rather than two. :)

Heavy ceramic frypan and saucepan bought at YMCA Garage Sale - $5 for both

So for me, buying second-hand also meant buying less stuff...and that means that now I only have as much as I can take care of.

Anyway, those are just my random thoughts. I have to admit, I am lucky to live in a place with a wide range of second-hand goods...though many don't seem to think so! Maybe its 'cause I've finally learned how to truly look?

Have you bought anything second-hand that you also treasure?

5 min craft projects and balloon flights!

2009-06-04T17:35:00.008+10:00

Sorry to put two very different subjects up in the one post (I seem to have a habit of doing that).

5-min craft project

First up, I promised to show off a quick 5 min craft project:

Not sure what it is??

The cool thing about these polar fleece scarves is that they don't fall off easily. And its a great way to use up left over bits of fleece.

For newbie crafters, the great thing about fleece is that you don't need to hem it as it doesn't fray. Just cut and sew (if you are going to put an applique like I did). The flower applique, again, cut the flower shape and sew a button on it.

Oh and my son decided to try his hand at it too (though I ended up cutting out his applique for him).

Though now that I look at it, the applique still doesn't look like a car...ah well, he wanted "a car with no roof" so that's the best I can do!

Balloon flights

I went to Questacon with my son today. Just as well because I realised that our membership there expired today. Anyway, for those ONC'ers (or those visiting the ONC this weekend), Questacon is offering tethered balloon flights this Saturday (6 June) with admission! That means for members - it will cost $0 to go on a balloon! Time for the balloon flights are from 7:30am to 9:30am, but staff members told me that you'd need to turn up early to get a flight.

Only downside is that children must be 5 years and over....which means I won't be able to go as my 4 year old would be left behind. Ah well...there's always a next time I'm sure! For those who go, please let me know what its like!

*ONC = Our Nation's Capital

It rained all day!

2009-06-03T17:58:00.002+10:00

And its still raining now! This is such a rare occurence here at the ONC (6th year of the "drought"*) that something like this should be celebrated.

Now here at the ONC, the drought has been going on for 6 years but Australia-wide its been a lot longer for many many other people. I think there comes a point when I think we need to accept that this is no longer a drought but a permanent change in our climate. And that its no longer a concept, it is happening to me - right now.

While I am loving this rain, its seems to me that we have waited too long to help the Murray Darling.

Ah but enough of these thoughts! Like I said this rain should be celebrated! I'm currently celebrating tonight snuggled on the couch, warm under a throw rug, glass of wine on one hand, Oxfam chocolate on the other and rain as my music (laptop about to go off soon).

I had planned to post about a 5 min sewing project I did today but camera needs batteries so I'll do that tomorrow.

Hope you are all having a wonderful night!

Gift for 6 yr old girl and a refashioned jacket for me

2009-06-01T19:10:00.001+10:00

With me being so busy with work these days, I have to admit I am not having as much time as I like to sew. But yesterday, I managed to get a couple of things done!

First up is a handmade sketch book for a 6 year old girl who loves ponies and drawing:

Fabric outer is made out of scrap fabrics. I used denim and iron-on interfacing (on the inside fabric and the applique) to make it stiffer.

I have to brag here and say that I drew and cut out the horse! I'm just so proud that I managed to free-hand draw something that is actually recognisable! hehe

The pages are from a large sketchbook that I bought at an op shop. I just ripped out 5 pages from the sketchbook, trimmed the ends and folded them. I then just sewed right down the middle of the pages attaching them to each other and the book.

Pink and white thread was op-shopped too. :)

I added to the little girl's present by buying Faber and Castel's Eco Pencils and a sparkly pen from Oxfam.

And finally I refashioned a jacket for me! I bought this leather jacket at Salvos for $3. The leather is gorgeous - very soft. But there is a reason why it was only $3. It was because it hung like this (apologies for flash photography but its winter now and hard to get a pic out of hours that's in natural light):

Perfect fit on the shoulders, but boxy (of the type that makes-me-look-like-I'm-pregnant) from shoulders down.

I have been umming and aahing on how I could make it look more tailored but I don't own a sewing dummy so I had no idea how I could tack it on. In the end, I just laid another jacket over the top of it:

Drew an outline and pinned it. Sewed down the line. Cut it. Cut the bottom off it and hemmed it.....

...and voila!

Incidentally, one of my op shop threads was the EXACT match for the colour of the jacket... which just confirmed for me that this refashion was meant to be and gave me the confidence to cut leather.

I think its much nicer. And now I have a leather bomber jacket. All for $3!! (and about 1 solid hour of my time).

Swine flu: hype and hidden agendas?

2009-05-29T23:07:00.011+10:00

So the news here in Oz has been concentrating a lot on Swine Flu. After being somewhat isolated from this latest global crisis, there are now about 200 people with swine flu here - 3 of them are ONC'ers.

Now while I think its very sad that some people have died from this virus, I have to say I'm quite at a loss as to why there's so much fuss about it.

"Regular" flu kills hundreds of thousands of people every year (the World Health Organisation (WHO) puts the figure between 250,00 to 500,00). The WHO's report re: Swine Flu as at yesterday is as follows:

Image from http://www.who.int/csr/disease/swineflu/history_map/InfluenzaAH1N1_maps.html

For those who can't quite see the figures, the total number of laboratory confirmed deaths globally as a result of swine flu is 95 (as at 27 May 09). While it may be more (ie not yet confirmed via laboratory tests) the reality is that swine flu deaths are still nowhere near the rate of normal flu deaths.

So what's all the fuss about?

The difference it seems is age. 90% of people who die as a result of regular flu are elderly (source: "Influenza Virology: current topics" by By Yoshihiro Kawaoka, 2006). Swine flu, however, affects the young - in Mexico, 26 of the 58 deaths were aged between 20 to 39.

To me the intense media focus on this issue is a clear comment on our global values. That we value youth over the elderly. That we care to hear more about the "strange" (ie that young healthy people can die of the flu) rather than focusing on what we can do to lessen the pain of our norms.

However, in my journey to become more consumer and media literate, I have learned that hype is almost always driven by more than just mass curiousity and anxiety - I've learned that it is often helped along by those who benefit from it.

So who is benefitting from the Swine Flu hype?

Crikey and International Business Times have all reported that the share prices of pharmaceutical companies involved in vaccines and anti-viral medicines (in particular Healthcare, Roche and CSL), as well as health insurance companies have all been increasing since April 2009. (The US Government recently placed a A$232 million (some US$180 million) order with CSL for swine flu vaccine.) *

While there will always be winners in any situation (I don't advocate conspiracy hype), we do need to be mindful that certain media organisations are owned by companies who also own biotech companies. Eg. General Electric owns the NBC network (and many pay tv channels) and GE Healthcare.

So what am I doing after learning all of this?

I guess for now I'm just trying to keep things in perspective and not get carried away by the hype. I'm still going out and about and I am enjoying this wonderful time of the year (autumn has always been my favourite season!)

And to be honest I'm not really doing anything different from what I always do at this time of the year. I have stocked up on echinacea and my hankies are at the ready.

Oh and on that note - I might as well share my thoughts on the hanky Vs tissue argument.

Viruses don't last that long outside the human body. Hankies do not carry viruses!

Bacteria thrive in damp environments - so there's just as much bacteria chance of bacteria living in used tissues as there is in used hankies. Some people put used tissues in the bin where it then goes to the tip and add to the risk of making tip workers ill. I put used hankies in the dirty clothes bin and they get washed and line-dried with my normal laundry. Washing machine washes away most of the bacteria and sunlight kills the rest of it. No tip workers becoming ill and a lot less environmental footprint for me. Yes we go through a lot of hankies when we're sick but honestly, even 50 hankies don't make that much of a difference in the laundry - it always fits in the one load with all the other clothes. Plus, we have the added bonus of never getting "nose rash" with hankies!

My son ironing hankies.

Anyway, once again I've rambled on enough. I wish you all a wonderful weekend!

*Note at the same time, the US also blocked CSL's merger with another biotech company saying that the merger would mean lessen competition and therefore drive prices even further up. Oh well, at least the vaccine order has softened this blow to CSL.

Stitching up the NGA!!

2009-05-27T13:04:00.005+10:00

My friend C sent me this via email and I thought it was such a great project that I'd blog about it here.

The National Gallery of Australia wants to transform its front entrance and foyer by covering it with knitting pieces!! Here's the excerpt:

From Tuesday 7 to Sunday 12 July, Knitta Please founder Magda Sayeg and Sydney artist Denise Litchfield, with a team of volunteers, will transform the front entrance and foyer of the National Gallery of Australia. Knitta Please is a tag crew of knitters who turned their frustration with their half-finished knitting projects into a phenomenon sweeping across the world.

Knitters are invited to help create pieces that measure 10–20 cm wide and 140 cm long, which will be stitched together to create coverings for 6 large concrete poles at the front of the National Gallery of Australia. Any colour, yarn and technique is accepted—the brighter and wackier, the better!

So you send in your knitting piece before 7 July to:

Knitta Project
Public Programs
National Gallery of Australia
GPO Box 1150
Canberra ACT 2601
AUSTRALIA

OR drop it off at the front security desk of the NGA.

Make sure you include with your knitting piece a small note stating your name, location and age (optional) because each knitted strip will have a small label stating the maker’s details.

Knitta Please covered an entire bus in wool at Plaza Luis in Cabrera in Mexico City in 2008.
Photo by Magda Sayeg, founder of Knitta Please

This is such a cool project that I think I might have to just take out those knitting needles again and make a strip! I'll see too if my daughter may be interested in putting in a strip with her finger knitting.

The project website is: http://nga.gov.au/WhatsOn/highlights/default.cfm

To see other Knitta Festival events, visit: http://nga.gov.au/EXHIBITION/SOFTSCULPTURE/Default.cfm?MnuID=9#knitta

Can't wait!

Simple home, lemonade and Spock

2009-05-21T13:59:00.011+10:00

Its been a cloudy few days here at the ONC. Days like these keep me hoping it would rain but, as usual, it doesn't. Normally days like these get me down but I'm finding that this time round its not getting to me like it used to.

Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I am really loving sitting in my home at the moment. As I'm nearing the end of my "house to home" project, I'm finding myself feeling truly content in my home. I have a home with no clutter. Everything I own, I use - and I use most of it regularly. For the first time in my life I have no items in the house gathering dust year after year because I'm not using it.

Its not perfect. I don't have certain "standard" things one would find in many other homes - but I'm finding that I am able to make do with what I do have. I know its an unusual home. Almost everything I have I acquired second-hand. But I love the fact that every piece in my home has a story.

Flowers from the garden, vase a gift from a friend, found the doily at the side of the road all scrunched up and dirty - hand-washed, ironed and discovered how beautiful it was, table given to me by a friend - I sanded and stained it and its like new again.

Speaking of the weather and my home, there has been a remarkable change in my garden. One of the effects of *my* climate change and its resulting water restrictions is that many of the plants in my garden have died. But something amazing has happened. The lemon tree that used to bear one or two little lemons a year suddenly has a *huge* amount of lemons!

View of my lemon tree from a 2nd story window

I've already given a whole bag away at work, another large bag to my neighbours and family but as you can see I still have a whole heap left.

Today, I made lemonade for the first time using the following recipe:

Homemade Lemonade

7 heaped tablespoons of honey
100mls of water
Juice from 4 lemons - about 200 mls
soda water

Heat honey and water until honey is all melted into the water. Leave to cool. Pour lemon juice into jug, top up with soda water, add honey water. Chill in fridge.

So now I'm sitting here in my living room, drinking my lemonade and reading Star Trek its apt that I would come across this quote from Spock:

It is curious how often you humans manage to obtain that which you do not want.

As so true Mr Spock, but I'm glad that this time round, I have managed to obtain what I *do* want.

Dif-tor heh smusma - Live long and prosper.

Saying "No"

2009-05-20T08:35:00.005+10:00

Now that the kids are getting better, they are getting back to their normal active selves. We are at that in-between stage - they are well enough to want to do lots of things but they are not well enough to actually do them.

So the last couple of days I am increasingly hearing myself saying "no". There's something almost taboo about saying "no" - no one wants to be a party pooper. I find myself instead cajoling them, offering (less-active) alternatives, trying to avoid situations where I know it will lead me to say "no". Invariably at the end of the day, I find myself tired from all these supposedly positive alternatives to saying 'no' and I end up snapping at the kids and just saying "NO, BECAUSE I SAID SO!".

This makes me feel guilty because...well, they're still sick AND those tears welling up in their eyes never fails to make me feel like The Meanest Mum In The Entire World.

(Image from cover of book, "My Monster Mama Loves Me So" by Laura Leuck)

So last night I read this article on the ABC and suddenly I gained a whole new perspective in the "don't say no" issue.

Dr Rachel Skinner from Sydney University studied young teenage girls and their sexual experiences and found that while these girls knew about the dangers of STD, teen pregnancy etc they are still unable to say "no".

"It was clear that these young people knew about the risks of unprotected sex. That was not the issue," Dr Skinner said.

"The issue is more about the pressures within their peer group. The pressures from their partner, their male partner.

Now I know that this issue is very different to the one I'm facing now, but what I do know is that my kids (at 4 and 6 years) are learning the foundations of their emotional skills *now*. I believe that the ability to negotiate and create boundaries in relationships is essentially an emotional skill. Standing up against people you like is so much harder than standing up against people you don't like.

So am I teaching my kids on how to say "no"? I'm not sure.

I can see that I am modelling for them how to negotiate and offer alternatives. I can also see that there are times when I say "no" for them. (Not so much in the last few days, but more for those times when I jump in at an overheard conversation and basically say "no" to their friends as opposed to finding out if my children would negotiate a "no").

I think too that its a matter of finding a balance between setting our family's boundaries and allowing the kids to be assertive back and disagreeing with what I want to do.

I would love to hear what others do. How do you teach your children to say "no"?

Frugal decor - my cherry tree room :)

2009-05-17T19:02:00.007+10:00

I've finally finished my bedroom! Now its been really hard to take pics of this room because:

a) its a small room so I can't get a good shot with everything in it

b) both of my kids are sick at the moment and both have made my room their "sick room" - which means that since I've finished the room, there is at least one child napping in there at any one point in time.

Anyway, so I decided I couldn't wait to show it off any longer and while the kids were eating dinner, I dashed in and quickly took some pics. (Apologies for the flash photography.) So here it is:

All items in the above photo were found at St Vinnies. And it must've been karma because I have been wanting to make "Cherry Tree" as the theme to my room.

The gorgeous lamp I found at Trash and Treasure. Doily on top of bedside table was from Salvos. Linen on bed, including pillows were from Salvos and my mother. :) (And before my extended family gets all worried - don't worry! Pillows were still in their packaging! It was a bargain to get 4 great quality Aussie pillows for $10.)

My mum gave me the top bedspread, here's a close up of the embroidery:

Isn't it cool?!

And finally, my latest crafting attempt:

Fabric wall decal! The cherry tree trunk and branches is op-shopped dark denim fabric. And flowers are from fabric scraps gifted to me by Button Beauty. I stuck the fabric on using homemade starch (so about 1/4 cornflour to every 1 cup of water). The denim being a thicker fabric needed a good starch soak (and I ended up adding an extra large spoonful of cornflour) before it finally stuck up on the wall.

Oh and I should say that the little white table you see there is from Aussie Junk, which I sanded back and painted white. The vintage tray and the bronze lamp are from Trash 'n Treasure.

Total cost of deocorating my bedroom - including all linen, blankets, pillows etc = $135. I should mention that $65 of that is the antique lamp that you can see on the 2nd picture. (I pretty much splurged on my room.)

Total cost furnishing and decorating my entire house to date (with 2 bedrooms to go) = $662. I don't think I'm doing too badly considering that includes the purchase of all my white goods, and kitchenware.

I'm hoping to keep this entire project under $1,000. Wish me luck!

(oh and I need ideas for the spare bedroom - I want to make it my family's peace/meditation room so if you have any decor ideas for it, I'd love to hear them!)

Spending to make up for parenting

2009-05-15T17:30:00.007+10:00

Now that I'm on leave from work (2nd full day at home!), I've looked around my home and noticed... that my kids have gotten a hell of a lot of toys from me the last few weeks.

Its amazing how when I'm under pressure, I revert back to my old consumerist ways and use spending as a way to make up for what I see as shortfalls in my parenting. See, I know that all my kids want really want is my time and attention.. and when I fail to give it to them, then I feel that the only way I can make up for it is by spending on them.

...and the thing is I didn't even know I was doing it!! Times like these when I realise how far I have to go in this journey to be an empowered and rational consumer - one who joyfully consumes rather than one who consumes to assuage feelings of guilt and anxiety.

The thing is... I don't even know why I should feel so guilty! I know that I can't do it all (unlike Rosie the Riveter below) and that I am doing my best. But that's the rational side of me talking and as I said, my recent spending spree was not rational.

(image from edupics.com)

Funny enough, when I look back I can also see that I was also doing some positive things during those hectic times. I juggled my workload so I can be home to put the children to bed, I made sure we still had breakfast together and for the 2 nights when I ended up working all night, the children went to their grandparents and got plenty of attention there. And despite that I disregarded the value of the positive things and still fell back on using money as my way of showing my children I love them.

So this weekend, I'll be spending some time on myself and letting go of my feelings of guilt... to accept that hectic times will occur and that I do not need to spend in order to make up for my lessened time with the children.

(Image from Tsheko's photostream - displayed here under a General Attribution Licence)

So here's to a quiet and reflective weekend. I wish you the same. :)