c b y . b l o g

It feels artificial now, indeed.

2009-09-24T02:25:00.012+08:00

Finally one (or two - w/o the additional live cuts) that plays the 'kaleidoscope' animations smoothly. In contrary of the post's title; I love this PV, & Shiina Ringo; especially in this song.

Not sleeping good lately. Even though 4 days of holidays just passed *despair...*
P.S. Dexter is hawt. Especially when he does that look *unexplainable* AAGH ♥

The five petals. Art.

2009-09-13T03:54:00.008+08:00

It's like flowers, it's beautiful while it blossoms, and in time it eventually withers away.

I fail to see the symbolism of flowers as a gift to a loved one; especially roses – it dies fast, that’s why they’re so prized when they're beautifully fresh and delicate. Hahah, but this is just my personal POV & preference. Flowers are indeed beautiful (esp. given from someone special), but that's just it. It dies, & down the garbage bin it goes - not being able to keep it.

↑ Above sketch - P3's Akihiko giving carnations to Minato (super unlike Akihiko, I know): This might not be the right way to hold flowers, & not to forget the wrong hand angles *ack* My hand drawing is degrading.

Despite what I'm supposed to accomplish by this week, I started P4. Naming my hero 'Kaji' (no not after the BM word). I like the concept of putting on glasses inside the TV world. Hawt ♥

Incredibly uninspired & bored.

2009-09-05T17:42:00.003+08:00

What's the use of a 3 consecutive holidays when you had zero plans for it - except to work on a submission *gasp* Worried but gosh, if only there's some kinda motivational drug. I'm not excited enough to express a "YAY IT'S HOLIDAY" on FB or Twitter or whatever social networking crap there are & rushes home from work & be.. uh excited. It's blasphemy for myself to not like holidays, but yeeaaaahh for once, I'd prefer going to work (the aircon, the fast connection) while procrastinating from work... duh.

I was bored, & clicked on a fellow twitter's link (yea fun way to browse stuff online) & discovered LeSportsac bags. Hey the one I got just looks the same *points photo* ... AH now I see... but the one I got from Senso-ji Temple was definitely waaaay cheaper; but as we say.. "yat chin yat fan for" (canton) I had no idea how LeSportsac bags looks like previously. Anywaysss, as long it look nice & affordable, who cares v_v

Merdeka. District 9

2009-08-31T00:19:00.006+08:00

Despite some people are saying.. why celebrate Merdeka when democracy is dead. Ah phooey, it's a 3 days holiday this weekend so stop being politically emo & just celebrate it already! HAPPY 52nd BIRTHDAY, MALAYSIA!

Though yours truly is spending the moment as how she usually pass her weekends at home, either on her bed reading/sleeping or in front of the PC drawing/watching vids/reading random stuff online.

I was too bored... & too reluctant to start sketching on a storyboard for submission.

District 9
My first impression before I actually saw the movie was – NieA_7. Too lazy to explain why.
The idea of this movie was discrimination against aliens who took refuge on earth. Prolly it’s about time someone does a reverse plot of the usual aliens invading earth by attacking/eating/infecting/experimenting humans. District 9 is the other way round; yes even eating aliens.
What I’m most fond of this movie is the depiction of the main human protagonist, Wikus from an ordinary, hopeful, working husband into a deranged, infected survivor against his own organization. This transition simultaneously conveys Wikus’ anguish & dismay of what’s happening to him. I hated him for his egocentric & prejudiced personality throughout the show, & yet I wouldn’t want this character to fail. Sure, that scene where he turned back for Christopher & asked him to run ahead were cheesy & cliché somewhat, but IMO it’s all done in a splendid outcome. And what’s the other best thing about this movie? All hateable evil villains gets what they deserved ♥ (the ‘watermelon burst’ effects are exciting yes?)

It's that feeling again, broken & lost for words. I didn't mean to be accusive nor skeptical. Yes, I don't understand. Yes, I couldn't handle. Yes, you're damn right. Because I'm like a one-sided wing that keeps flying in circles on the ground - I guess that's how things are between us.

Some anime OP/ED piece

2009-08-21T00:51:00.008+08:00

For its worth of music or animation sequence or both! Was youtubing around for MONORAL, & somewhat turned into an anime OP/ED surfing. I'll start with the most (not so) recent anime:

Ergo Proxy's OP [Kiri by MONORAL]

Kiri's by far MONORAL's most popular piece thanks to Ergo Proxy. And I'd admit it's the song that made me love the opening animation. The anime's great too btw; if anyone would favor a deep & mysterious plot of story, this is one anime for you.

Monster's OP [Grain]

The haunting theme that suits Monster's story plot I'd say.

Cowboy Bebop's OP [Tank! by The Seatbelts/Yoko Kanno]

This is another opening animation I'd never skip/forward. The first few seconds of the track had me hooked.

Cowboy Bebop OST 2 [Forever Broke]

I could go on posting up almost each & every track of all Bebop's OST albums (Yoko Kanno is just so brilliant) ♥ This is one track I'd leave on looping endlessly in the midst of a quiet night.

Cowboy Bebop: The Movie [Gotta Knock A Little Harder]

Couldn't describe how much I love this ending theme when I saw the movie yearsss ago. I'm bad in explaning things I love ain't I *shrugs*

And here's a classic 80's anime which is...
SDF MACROSS: Do You Remember Love?

Who's an anime fan & doesn't know Minmay? Shame on you! This song is a classic hit. Scene of final battle of the Super Dimensional Fortress Macross movie with Lynn Minmay singing.

Ah I had alot more.. but I guess that's it for now. I'm dreading to wake up for work sigh oh well it's Friday anyway.. Sleep time!

Some Tokyo trip loots...

2009-08-16T18:46:00.002+08:00

...that I'm proud to own! >8D

Kazuma Kaneko's PANDEMONIUM Vol. 1~3 & ShinMegaTen Devil Summoner World Guidance bookssss.
These 3 PANDEMONIUM books (Black, Red & Purple) had been in my wishlist ever since I knew the awesomeness of Kazuma Kaneko years ago, but couldn't get my hands on it since it's all out of publication for a long time. Finding these 3 books was one of my objective in this Tokyo trip. Just gotta LOVE second-hand bookstores ♥♥♥ (Purple book frm K-Books in Akiba, Black & Red frm Mandarake in Nakano Broadway) Each page is worth every single yen spent, and I'm definitely treasuring these 3 books even though it's 2nd-handed, which's still in mint quality ^^

Whaddyacallit... bell keychains/straps.
For some reason I knew Japan sells a variety of these kinda bells that produce a low jingly sound. And it's true, almost everywhere are selling these kinds of bell. I got 3 for myself (another 2 are frm Disneyland). Just love the sound of it, it's quite therapeutic for someone weird like me lol. One thing I kinda regretted not getting is the wind chime I saw in Senso-ji Temple..... aahh it's only 300yen anyway stupid me~ *pictures that 300yen wind chime in her mind & despair for not getting it* ...

Phoenix Wright strap!
You're not a Phoenix Wright fan unless you own at least one of his merchandise! HAHA! Now I do~ ♥ How could you resist a cute chibi Phoenix pointing forward with "OBJECTION!"

Sorta 'Cowboy' hat
Frm Disneyland! (ahh the shape's gone off a little thanks to my unskilled folding skill while packing) .. I've always wanted a cowboy-looking hat. Not sure where else I'm gonna wear this though, it just feels perfectly normal wearing this around Tokyo ;__; (Random person: Then why the heck do you bought it for?)

Random pattern bag
Got this from the shops in Senso-ji Temple. And another pattern for Ash. It's BROWN, with some retro-harmony colours/patterns with it = LOVE = BUY ♥ I was stuck between 3 varieties of this design (beige, baby pink or baby blue) YUE group majority votes for beige, so beige it is! It's just a simple non-heavy duty bag, but the design is yummy. I dunno WTH is 'Diana & Francis' though.

There are still some other loots that I'm fond of; one of it are the ice-gel packs they provide along with cold dessert takeaways (to keep the dessert cool)... Some people might say I'm silly to keep these stuff back, but I think the ice-gel packs are cool 0__0
I miss Tokyo food already.... delicious vendoring machine gyudon~ salty ramen~ salmon+ebiko onigiri~ takoyaki~ purin~ Food we ate are usually below 1000yen for 2-3 person (we shared meals all the time). The last few days I survived on 100yen noodle cup & less than 200yen onigiris for dinners. It's kinda pathethic in other people's POV, but to me it's something memorable & sweet desu :'D

If I had a tail like a dog...

2009-08-12T23:26:00.005+08:00

...it'd probably be making a buzzing sound from shaking so quickly with hidden joy.
"Aah, I'm so lucky that I'm not a dog". I thought to myself with relief.
Thinking that, I was amazed at myself for being such an idiot.

After a (sorta) 10 days vacation in Tokyo, Japan - here I am back at home. And I miss Tokyo already. MUCH. Please teleport me back even just for 5 minutes. Yes, I enjoyed the trip very very very much. Thank you Pea, Miaow & Iluna, for making this trip memorable indeed. Hmm photos? Uhm I'll leave the selecting, resizing & uploading job for another day where I'd have more time to spare (I guess you could say I'm abit tad lazy...) *shot* For some odd reasons, I miss the train rides... especially the train station in Ikebukuro (West exit... West exit...) ^^;

And watching 5cm/s by Makoto Shinkai (recommended by Iluna) just makes me miss the trains even more ;__;

I'm up for some emo anime & 5cm/s IS emo... Don't get me wrong, it's pretty good; sad romance with lotsa symbolism, & I like that combination. Here's a quote frm the youtube itself abt this OVA: This film gives a realistic view of the struggles many face against; time, space, people, and love. The movie is named 5 Centimeters Per Second for the speed at which cherry blossom petals fall- petals being a metaphorical representation of humans, reminiscent of the slowness of life and how people often start together but slowly drift into their separate ways. Yesh, do watch it.

5cm/s is a total opposite genre from me being recently converted into a Saint Young Men fangirl... Anyone who's interested in Jesus-Buddha coming down to earth for a vacation in Japan humour, PLEASE. DO. READ. Saint Onii-san~ ♥ I didn't expect that much hilarity in it till I was actually hooked to it when I take a look on Pea's SYM books. There's a regret in me for not getting the Saint Evangelion doujin we saw in Mandarake.... the cover illust itself is a WIN.

Another recent fandom is HETALIA (Axis Powers HETALIA), which's popular among girls in Japan now. A few rows of coin figurines could vanish in just a day.. (ah.. Russia....................... I was too late... TT_TT) It started as a satire webcomic about historical facts & relations during World War I & II countries; which's represented by mostly male characters. Thus far, I'm still fond of Russia. "VODKA~~~~~~♥"

I need a shower...
I wish there's a Yoyogi Park here where I could take a picnic observing trees & birds while listening to the faint ambience sound of an uncle practicing with his saxophone...

Needs to vent.

2009-07-29T02:02:00.001+08:00

Because I doubt anyone would be pleased to listen or read what I have to vomit. Basically I am having this immense mixed up feelings of disappointment, hate, anger, confused, moronic, & dissatisfaction. Yes you guessed it, this is a hate(sort of) post. Why isn't Friday coming any sooner.

Alas, after FOUR (5 to be exact) friggin' months finally there's a confirmation letter. Probation should've ended by mid February, though I have no fucking idea with the extra months for a confirmation. Did they mean they've extended my probation to 10 months? 'Cos of my punctuality? My inability to produce decent design? If it's so, why wasn't there any notice? This just simply doesn't justify the increment from July onwards. SO WHAT ABOUT THE PAST 4 MONTHS' PAY? Just forget about it?? Clientele complications is NONE of my beeswax.

I did not expect I'd reach this point of time again so soon, where I'm pondering about the work I do. Am I happy. Am I satisfied. Am I eager to continue on like this. The answer is NO. If so, what am I gonna do about it. What am I gonna do to change these negativities into something more positive. What are my alternate options. What other things I can do, but I've yet to try. I do admit I am very lucky that I only have minor financial commitments.

Bottomline, I'm still not happy with what I do. I can't see myself doing this for the next five years, I don't see any prospect in it, I don't see any sort of achievement that I'm seeking, and deep down, I'm not a big fan of artsy design. I'm planning to rekindle my passion for drawing again once more, IF it goes through for the first time, cool! I guess it's just whether am I willing to take the initiative & heart in doing it in the first place. Failure for once or twice or bajillion times isn't an excuse to run away from it.

In DMC (yes, this kuso anime), I find Negishi putting up courage singing his fav song by the streets with his guitar while being ignored by the passers-by is something to look up to. Funny, silly awful, & fictional, but at least he has the guts to do something he loves & feel happy about it. So tell that to myself *failure*

Yesterday I interrogated someone in a wrongful way based on an assumption. I realised my mistake later on. And it hurts the most when the anger I felt is developed towards myself. Nothing can be done, except being apologetic, & thinking what an ass I am. And there I was calling people an ass. I shall dig a hole and hide in.

Coraline. Art. Random rants.

2009-07-24T01:46:00.003+08:00

Oh my twitchy witchy girl, I think you are so nice, I give you bowls of porridge, & I give you bowls of ice cream, I give you lots of kisses, & I give you lots of hugs, but I never give you sandwiches with bugs in. - Coraline

I love Coraline. There's an immense respect I had for stop-motion animation, and Coraline is beautiful, even the dull colour hues in the 'real world' are interesting to feast your eyes on.

Overall the story gives an eerie feeling of having an alternate reality seperated by a small mysterious door at a corner of your living room - yesh, I love alternate realities, alternate dimensions, alternate personalities, alternate outcomes, alternate whatever there is. And a part of this story's moral basically tells no matter how sucky your current reality is, it IS always the better one; as long you're willing to try & look at it in a different, positive point of view & give it another chance to make it better. I'm just disappointed with the idea of the 'belman' controlling everything in the 'other world' & desperately needing someone to love. Probably 'cos I was expecting something more bizarre than that. Thanks Tara for the lend! ♥

You know when you're asked an important question - be it trouble-wise, or relationship-wise kinda situation - somewhere in your mind, you know the answer, yet you couldn't put it all into words to tell it. THIS, is one of my flaws.

And now, I couldn't properly describe how I've been lately, so here's a list in point form.. 'cos I CAN:
• I dislike untrue news about me. Stop overreacting in defining people's actions, grow up.
• I wasn't really going after how high my increment will be. As long there is, in addition to the backlogged 4-5 months, which my salary should've been reviewed; I'm fine.
• I felt useless when I realised someone else could do something (perfectly) while I couldn't when I tried. I wasn't really worth the time afterall even as a friend.
• I am always the one who ask. I never get one in return. Someone else does. Simple things like this could crush my ego in a second. And it's been crushed several times so far.
• Wanted to walk out of office & head to the stairs by the elevators to cry during lunch today, I didn't. I just needed somewhere quiet & alone that's not my work desk.
• Consulted with Arty on a part of my problem, & bugga you do cheer me up & enlighten me on some things. It just hit the spot & you understood/expected what I'm trying to say even in just msn chat. You're too kind T_T (mampuih aku kalo u know I say this here lol TSA, YOU DON'T GO TELL HIM THIS OK!)
• I love midnights, and people might say I'm a weirdo for finding sitting in my kitchen downstairs at 2-3am sipping cold honey-lemon or snacking quietly while staring blankly at the dark living room IS mind-relaxing... (well that's one of the things I like doing during midnights). Though I must force myself to sleep EARLY... sigh.

Art, meme & quotes

2009-07-12T23:57:00.003+08:00

Sara (Ethereal)
A little practice to procrastinate from doing something I dislike doing. Shit, it's already the end of Sunday. I did mention I was planning to continue Ethereal chapters online, sorry I lied. I'm trying to get my inspirations back rather than just coughing out head/bust-shot sketches.

100 Truths Meme - tagged by Tsa. It's 100 uninteresting truths, I promise.
I still owe Pea the 25 Random Things meme some time ago. Yes I still remember it, and I still haven't complete all twenty five YET. I'm that clueless about myself..;;;

Here's a random couple of favourite game quotes I roughly remembered, hence I googled & managed to dig 'em out:

Music is a mysterious thing. Sometimes it makes people remember things they do not expect. Many thoughts, feelings, memories... things almost forgotten... Regardless of whether the listener desires to remember or not.
- Citan (Xenogears)
Citan was telling this to Fei in the beginning of the game, while listening to a jukebox which eventually broke down thereafter. This sentence remained something memorable to me for how true it is during that time.

Time is cruel. It just keep moving on & on, & before you know it, we all just look like adults. Got to do this, got to do that. Sooner or later it all gets left behind somewhere... All the pains & dreams when you were a kid.
- Baofu (Persona 2)
Baofu would tell you this all of a sudden (I forgot which part of that story was at) when you talk to him in the Subway Tunnel. Same goes to Katsuya. Yes, I could relate to this quote now at least.

And here's a fav from season 5 of 24! ♥

Kim: So how have you been doing?
Chloe: This morning I woke up with a guy in my bed that I doubt I'm ever going to see again... & one of my best friend just died in front of me. So I guess, not that great.

In your face, Kim! Gotta love Chloe's technical way of socialising. Despite Tony's major absence in this season (& next season *cries*), Bill Buchanan is my new fav just 'cos he's such a stiff! (& seems like he always takes the fall for someone & has no hard feelings for it lol) ♥

No need for words

2009-07-07T02:06:00.004+08:00

Thoughts that can't be conveyed through words; yeah why not just plug in & listen then. Simple. WRONG! Reality doesn't work that way! *throws in pessimistic vibes like a villain*

It's what I ended up doing by looping Fyrsta (Sigur Rós) - I had to mention that the opening of this track is Silent Hill-ish, but in an instant later it drops in a serenely tune ♥ Both are meant to be males, but somehow.. well, I dunno, they turned feminine as I progress through this.... (in other words, I failed) Pardon my lack of better ideas & creativity, it's another attempt to draw something out, at least. My capability is seriously getting rustier from being already rusted bajillion years agoooo. Shame on me.

Ever since the Cameron trip, I've been so restless. Does it have anything to do with it in the first place anyway..? =_= I love my bed. Wanted to rant about the movies I've seen recently & some random thoughts that I (as usual) failed to speak out clearly, etc. maybe I should read more books with only words instead of pictures to improve my vocabulary <--- not making any sense. YARGH. It means it's time for bed... *crawls to lovely comfy bed*

Cameron Highlands

2009-06-28T23:44:00.003+08:00

Really, I'm feeling alright now. Thanks for the condolences & thoughts. Though I couldn't not think about, hey what if I say "No, I'm not doing fine"...? What then? I wasn't expecting anything from my previous emo post. Though the last thing I need now is sympathy.

Yesterday
• Bid our final farewell to Ah Mah around 10.20am. I finally got the courage to look at her one last time, couldn't step away from her for a long while since I arrived. I just realised that I've not seen Ah Mah w/o her glasses. Now I do! Looking at her frail hands; how it used to shake when she's trying to beckon to someone. She turned frail & weak for years, unable to talk in a normal way anymore. You'll forever be missed!
• Rushed to Cameron Highlands right after with bus. We've decided to put up Michael Jackson's HIStory video up as our first in-ride entertainment (tribute? lol) 2nd in-ride entertainment was Aunties-Uncles karaoke session... I heart my W800 superb capability as a mp3 player in this situation.
• Reached destination almost evening. Not much to see basically except pretty flowers. Very peaceful place, cool lodging. I love the temperature.
• Technician came to set up the karaoke set in the lodge while everyone went pasar malam. Uncle Dennis (who didn't go) couldn't resist singing afew songs himself, later pulled me in to join him for some old English songs.
• Steamboat dinner. Whiskey + lemonade = yum! And again, I forgot what it was. Karaoke session again after dinner. It was actually enjoyable lol. My voice hurts right after.
• Cutting cake ceremony for Poh-Poh. LOTSA photo sessions. I bet Poh-Poh's eyes are blinded with her dear grandchildrens' camerassssss.
• Food just kept continue pouring in. I think I've gained a kg from all these continuous consumption..!
• Rolls around bed in the late night because of boredom *lame*

Outside view of the the lodge's balcony.

Today
• Had a western breakfast in a mamak nearby (part of the package). How interesting. Rushed back to the lodge right after for another brief cutting cake ceremony (phew..) and finally we get to eat the big cake. It was GOOD ♥ Never thought carrot cake would taste this good.
• Checked out around 10.30am. A short stop at the Bharat Tea Farm. Bus ride down was horrible.
• Reached bro's house around 4.30pm +_+
• Dinner with Ash.

Overall I like the place, but it was a boring vacation for me frankly. I wasn't in the mood for social activities ^^; Sorry.

Two blows & indeed, it shattered.

2009-06-25T02:01:00.002+08:00

If one would ask me to explain my life in one word, "irony" it is.

In this same time, two sides of my family (mom-dad's) are reuniting here in PJ, mainly from Australia - which is an ultra rare occasion. I'll be seeing my uncles, aunties, cousins from both sides within this short period of time. Both occured for the same reason: my grandma(s). Except, one's to commemorate her 80th birthday, one's to attend her funeral. Both would be taking place at the same day. It just happens.

One of my grandma has left us this early morning. All I can say is, I apologise for not being a good granddaughter; I was never been one to you. Yearsss ago I'd always thought you love teasing me (yeah I'm the youngest & most worthless), giving me frozen, expired chocolates fresh from the fridge whenever I come over, etc., but in the end, you're still my grandma. And what I had mention are only memories now. I'll try harder not to be a worthless granddaughter, I've been trying to. May you rest in peace. All I could do during the first day of funeral today was staring blankly at your photo. I didn't have the courage to walk forward & see you & tell you that I am here, I am afraid I might break when I do.

On another matter, I know some of you guys has been reading or maybe just scrolling through my blog posts. Well just admit it you guys, you're not interested with my daily happenings or what I generally thinks about the ants I just stepped on - except for anything regarding this person we knew. I don't blame your curiosity. Even though I knew how deceiving this person is from the beginning, I've gotta admit I grew fond of him. I'm a mouse who goes for the cheese knowingly it's a trap surrounding it. It's foolish. I couldn't answer specifically WHY and HOW, and frankly, that kinda question is getting silly IMO (lol, a silly question to ask a foolish human, quite a match ya?)

Your natural way of talking just basically shows the intent & the way you've been taking my trust as. Your words, concerns & actions, was it all your natural way of talking as well? By forced courtesy? My thoughts here, it should be entertaining for you. I thank you but I'm not flattered. It might be so because I'm the girl with a blog. Oooh let's see what she blogs about me. Be amused, drama's here. Another thing is, you know how terribly serious I take what people see about what I draw. I don't need to reiterate how sadden I am. My effort & happiness just seems like an entire joke for real now, by just how natural the way you talk. My trust for naught.

In the end, you're not entirely to blame for. It is I who failed to take things with an open mind. Though as I said, I am willing to listen as long you're willing to tell. And I'd take your word for it. I am a simple-minded person afterall. I don't enjoy the act of poking questions. I don't enjoy the feeling of not knowing. I don't enjoy the act of suspicion. I am a person who've been cheated once for my 'simple-minded ness'. Therefore I am paranoid at times. Cheated twice, I am a fool myself. INDEED I AM YES? I smile at my own naivety.

7 Pounds. DMC. Random song pluggin'

2009-06-23T01:17:00.007+08:00

7 Pounds thoughts
• It's sad how a tragic accident occurred from merely reading a text message while driving. It's a lesson!
• Where the heck did he get them jellyfishes..
• How the HECK did he manage to fix that vintage machine when noone who specialised in it could do so.. (probably his knowledge in... aeronautics?????)
• How did he manage the tax extensions when he's not even a real tax collector himself.
• Emily has a rare bloodtype, I'm not sure how exactly organ donation works but what are the odds his heart is a match for her RARE bloodtype..
• Ignore the logic & impossibilities, this could be a good emotional movie.
• I loveloveloved The Pursuit of Happyness no matter how corny or untrue ppl might say about it. Oops, off topic...

Detroit Metal City
• I gave this a try since it has an interesting plot: A no-talent pop musician wannabe ends up as a highly idolised death metal god unwillingly.
• Despite its kusoness, I find this anime very very entertaining.
• I can't get the song out of my head..... ugh. It's so... cheerful.

BOWL-CUT HAIRSTYLES GALORE! PEA, YOU GOTTA WATCH THIS LOL
This reminds me, I owe u a Mr.2 gift art...! Forgive me! m(__)m

Cheerful song aside, here's a slow one I just discovered since someone hadn't recommend this to me >_> So I'll HELP MYSELF.

It's like a simple picture, but with a deep allusion & intimacy within it. I'm bad at explaining & might've interpreted the song differently whocares. Damn song made me teared for a moment ;__;

BM Meme Challenge

2009-06-22T00:20:00.002+08:00

So I'm joining the bandwagon... fufufu.......

1. Bekas kekasih saya adalah :
Jack Bauer .......... *kena ditembak*

2. Saya sedang mendengar :
Lagu "Marching Bands of Manhattan" (Death Cab for Cutie).

3. Mungkin saya patut:
Pergi berkelah di tepi longkang sorang diri aje. E-eh.. silap, patut siapkan dokumen-dokumen utk visa aku...

4. Saya suka :
Melukis lelaki kacak yg emo, main permainan video, menonton drama Inggeris, membaca cerita hantu dan paranormal, bermimpi siang, minum oat+Milo dgn sudu, buat kerja personal pd waktu tengah malam.

5.Sahabat-sahabat baik saya :
Tidak ramai, tapi amat dihargai.

6.Saya tak paham :
Kenape aku boleh tersuka seseorang yang aku benci pd mulanya, padahal dia mungkin tidak mempunyai perasaan yg sama terhdp aku. Tanya pun cam tak tanya. Ya ke Tidak pun tak kata. Main la teka-teki je.

7.Saya kehilangan :
Inspirasi utk melukis sekali-sekala.

8.Ramai yang berkata :
Saya amat tinggi.

9.Makna nama saya :
"Tiada apa-apa yg istimewa" <--- Ibu yg berkata gitu.

10.Cinta itu adalah :
Sesuatu yg menyakitkan tapi indah.

11.Di suatu tempat, seseorang sedang :
Bermimpi.

12.Saya akan cuba :
Merealisasikan impian-impian aku.

13.Ayat SELAMANYA membawa maksud :
Sesuatu yg tidak akan mampus walau apa pun.

14.Telefon bimbit saya :
Kadang kadang tutup bila aku tido.

15.Bila saya terjaga dari tidur :
Saya akan turut mengguling kat katil sampai puas hati.

16.Saya paling meluat apabila :
....tiada apa yang spesifik.

17.Pesta/Parti adalah :
Sesuatu yang memenatkan.

18.Haiwan yang paling comel yang saya pernah temui ialah :
Beruang koala.

19.Peringkat umur yang paling menyeronokkan bagi saya ialah :
Waktu sekolah rendah kerana banyak 'drama'.

20.Hari ini :
Istimewa kerana dapat melihat seseorang menanyi secara langsung.

21.Malam ini saya akan :
Buat meme syok sendiri.

22.Esok pula saya akan :
Kerja sambil emo umpama hari Isnin.

23.Saya betul-betul inginkan :
Inspirasi ku utk kembali dan lebih hari yang menarik.

24.Ketika anda lihat wajah anda di hadapan cermin pagi ini :
Ish.... buruk.

25.Pusat membeli-belah atau arked permainan :
Dua-dua pun boleh.

26.Makanan Barat atau Jepun :
Barat.

27.Bilik yang terang atau gelap :
Gelap.

28.Makanan segera adalah :
Sesuatu yg patut dimakan apabila tiada pilihan lain aje.

29.Ayat terakhir yang anda katakan pada seseorang?
"Ooooh tuu...." <--- msn ngan arty

30.Siapa yang anda nak Tag?
Sesiape je la yg nak buat nih.

Is it hello, or just goodbye.

2009-06-17T02:34:00.004+08:00

His thoughts, humour, ideas, initiatives, appreciation, manners- it's his presence alone which I adored. He noticed, cared, corrected, taught, inspires, entertains. Of course, there are several bad traits, but that's not my point. In the end, I wasn't anything special, & wasn't expecting anything much. I still remember the book bugs came crawling out when he showed me his DIY journal. I was amazed at the amount of photos, drawings & writings, and a tiny bit disgusted at the same time. Yes, I am reminiscing about my last crush, which I'd known almost 4 years ago. Hardly anyone knows, except a few. Nothing surprising. What happened? Well we barely contact as time goes. Period.

Why the sudden classical plug? Uhm...

BFF. Traumatised. 24. $

2009-06-15T01:39:00.008+08:00

It's been a loooong while since the last time I'd seen Ash. Never a dull moment with you again, and I thought it'd be hard to tell you my thoughts, but turned out we actually shared the same situation. It's a mutual understanding we've been sharing for the past xx years. THATSWHYILOVEYOUeventhoughIhatedyouforbeingsuchabusybeetchlol ♥

And a durian seller HAD to ruin my night out by conveying his stupid thoughts to me while blocking the back of my car with his durian truck. I miss durian. But I'm NOT INTERESTED in making friends with a durian seller okaayyy...!!! *traumatised by lameness x9999* Orz (WHY? WHY???)

I'm finally done with 24 season 4! I lovelovelove Tony x Michelle - Didn't know I'm a sucker for sad & romantic relationships. Season 5 next, even though I'd already known few of my favourite characters are gonna be killed off (I spoilt myself) ;__;

Been doing some shopping for the past weeks.
Total # of new loots = 5
(1) Skimmer shoe bronze
(2) Skimmer shoe white
(3) Outdoor shoe
(3) Jeans
(4) Dress
(5) Face powder
Approx. total monies spent = RM510.
What the frigg?! *despair...*

So I kept ignoring the fact that..

2009-06-11T01:46:00.006+08:00

It is hard to put up a smile while it bleeds inside. But I have to.

I needed company, even though it might not ease anything. I thank you, and sorry for being selfish. Anything to numb this ache..

Guess I'm tired.

Some quotes, some rants, some movies.

2009-06-01T20:04:00.011+08:00

"It is better to know and be disappointed, than to not know and always wonder."
I'm always wondering.

"Life is the art of drawing without an eraser."
The feeling of wanting to erase a wrong ugly stroke while there's no eraser or ctrl+z available; THE HORROR. OkIgetitperfectly.

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

Yours truly is bored. Because Raidou 2 finally decided not to load on her crappy PS2 for good. I've been feeling the lack of enthusiasm at work lately. It hasn't been a year yet and I'm feeling plain b o r e d at what I'm doing. There's been times I thought of the possibility of returning to the animation field, for the sake of doing something different once in awhile. I do miss the Animasians, everyone shares the same interests & lotsa team efforts & friendliness T_T You won't find that kind of colleagues & environment else where. NOPE. But then again, everything has its ups and mostly downs. Or maybe I just need a vacation; Somewhere by a beach so I can sulk all I want..~

Another thing to add into my depression is the guilt lingering in me. I'm probably the most selfish, unpredictable, mean, nonsensicle person anyone should meet or know. Someone might understand what I meant since I love popping up stupid questions/assumptions randomly & give you a hard time just because I feel insecure (I apologise again for those past & future moments lol). I know it can't be helped, and if I do, it'll only make matters worst? I don't know. I'm not in a clear & steady mind now to make a proper judgment. Very often I wish someone or a divine conscience could appear and just tell me what's right & what's wrong, BUT that would only defeats the purpose of living a life. Someone out there, I'm SORRY. I just want to relax & feel free, not be stressed or uncomfortable at the same time. And I realised by my attempt of doing so, I'd caused trouble/uneasiness to other people as well. NOW I SOUND PREACHY OH GAWD I SHALL STOP ALREADY. Anyone who read this whole paragraph, you're sick lol you deserve no prize *gets stoned to death*

Terminator: Salvation brief thoughts:
• There's NOT ENOUGH TERMINATORS (humanoid types) walking about. Skynet HQ is a good sad example.
• I enjoyed the giant robot blasting every escaping vehicles :D And the two bikes ejected from its legs. Cool.
• Christian Bale ♥
• Helena Bonham Carter is a surprise for me. I liked her from her role as Bellatrix (Harry Potter) & Mrs. Lovett (Sweeney Todd).
• Marcus stepping on a landmine is a sad outcome. Poor Marcus. That's for following a hungry babe through a field of landmines when she said it's okay to :D
• John Conner's wife looks younger than she was in Terminator 3 (no offense to Claire Danes fans).
• Overall it's OK. I miss Arnold.

Milk brief thoughts:
• I didn't know it'd be related to the history of Castro Street in San Francisco.
• I didn't know there's James Franco ♥
• Sean Penn is brilliant.
• I like modern films that depicts the 70's (another is Zodiac).
• Watching this with mom is like watching a comedy. Sigh.
• I have not much thoughts, but it left a good impression. And I love movies that does that.

Thoughts

2009-05-31T03:00:00.005+08:00

Without this talent, though amateur & seemingly unimportant; I'd think my life is less meaningful. I'm just blabbing.

Some web pimpage:
• IKEA Go Clean Your Room Contest
Prize: RM2000 vouchers - by submitting a photo or video of your room/store/kitchen and get your buddies & relatives to vote like crazy.

• IKEA Love the Earth
As the title says.

• Star Wars I Like
A die-hard Star Wars fan's blog about reviews on Star Wars collectable figurines, models, shops, etc. And it's catered almost daily and comprehensively (with photos).

At times I felt I misunderstood the whole agenda. I was naive. I am a pessimist in this subject. In the end, I'm a serious & sensitive person. People's actions means a lot to me. I can't deny that fact no matter how silly or ignorant I acted. And with doubt comes paranoia. Conclusion, I think it's time I should back away and just take it all as a big joke before I make a fool of myself further. I apologise for any offense or mistakes.

Walking

2009-05-28T02:52:00.004+08:00

...with a knee-high boots.
I'd very much love to own a pair & try that, but it's so friggin' hot & impractical to do so here. I think I did an angle mistake. Or not. Just something random.

Someone, thank you for rummaging through my purse! Although I don't approve that (and you just gotta see that horrible fugly ol' photo of MEEE) You accompanied me for a long while after work so I really appreciate that alot. And so, I discovered my driving license has expired since last December!!! Petrified. IAMSUCHADUMBASS. So quickly found a way to renew it online. Done and I received the renewed license today. Long live online services ♥

I also discovered something cute about our RM5 and RM10 notes from my ex-colleagues ^^;

It's real fun to draw when you have the right mood + idea + music. (Pea, I know, epic art, but not yet--! ToT;) Hence I broke my own promise to sleep earlier tonight.

What it feels like-

2009-05-27T02:31:00.006+08:00

-And that is why I despise it.

Brownish. Some movie rant

2009-05-25T03:41:00.005+08:00

Made some minor changes to the colours here. Has it turned ugly? Or unnoticable... I don't care :D And I'm trying out ShoutBox since I'm bored.

Well I'm not supposed to be bored (is actually procrastinating from doing work). I should've done my work earlier today (but noOoO, I HAD to play Raidou & waste time on this blog) - So I ended up staying awake till now, which is 3:44AM; thus work is done. But I want to rant since it's only here I could do so now *lame*

Angels & Demons kinda super-brief thoughts:
• Tom Hanks doesn't really look old as I expected :D He's the main reason why I wanna watch this movie.
• Ewan McGregor is the 2nd reason.
• It's a movie you'd only find interesting the first time you watch it (since I didn't read the book).
• SPOILER >>> The guy exploded in the car - predictable? Probably 'cos recently I've just seen the same outcome in season 3 of 24; guy went in car assuming he'd finally escape & then kabOom-! But that actor is cute.
• That last part of Patrick is expected :( Bro shouldn't have told me the ending is "not what you'd expect". Ceh.
• Patrick's outfit just automatically forces me to think of that parody trailer from Tropic Thunder (which's about 2 gay priests by RDJ & Tobey Maguire lolforgivemysickmind *bricked*)
• Overall, it's a OK for me.

24, Season 3 super super brief thoughts:
• This season onwards I really like the relationship between Tony & Michelle. They're both very strong-willed & inspiring characters.
• And Reiko Aylesworth is a pretty lady. I don't get bored staring at her whenever she appears on screen ♥
• For once I don't hate Chappelle! ;____; Poor poor him.....

4:27AM... *despairs*

Non-bishounen

2009-05-22T00:51:00.007+08:00

Those who'd think I draw only bishounens - you're WRONG...! I just don't draw old or muscular people cos I don't know how to & I wouldn't enjoy doing so.

KOF2002:UM (mostly for the sake of HIROAKI's ART ♥) Am sad they replaced K9999 for a Tetsuya Nomura-like bishounen called "Nameless". For once I'm against a bishounen replacing a non-bishounen character. Even though he's a carbon copy of Tetsuo frm Akira (prolly that's why he's removed in this remake due copyright issues), I'm fond of his impulsive moves & grin. I remember my friend questions my taste for liking K9999 back in 2001. Hay, he's actually cool okaaay.

My shoulder/back hurts again. Aaah *whines*

And she sighs. And sighs. And sighs....

2009-05-21T01:56:00.006+08:00

I wasn't even sure if this should be depressing or pleasant..... If there's no way to cry, why not just improvise it. Of course, this is illogical. Sigh.

Star Trek. Kinda super brief thoughts:
• Zachary Quinto FTW! ♥
• Spock and Uhura is like a big question mark. What the hell.
• Kirk actor (sorry I forgot who's the actor) has very pretty eyes.
• Skinny girls is unattractive. Really.
• Young Kirk speeding with the car and ended up at the end of a cliff is like a big waste of film time. Why didn't they just save it for the deleted scenes..
• I like the death scenes. Especially the part the Romulan guy got blasted upwards at the driller thing, and the red suit guy who got instantly roasted at the bottom of the driller. Aww...
• Ah.. I thought the enemy would have a bigger or more complex agenda.....
• Overall it's a OK for me.
- end -

I wanna go for Angels & Demons.
I want a short vacation. August is just too far away.
Someone, yes you have a point I should've agreed to go with you for the concert in Singapore this weekend. But nothing can be done now except me emoing over a wasted opportunity to go for a vacation, which I badly need now... CEH. AS IF YOU WOULD GO. Tipu la.

Sighs. Listens to sad piano scores.
I want a mc for tomorrow.... *mumbles*