lovegreendog

windows

2009-12-14T19:58:00.001-05:00

windows
Originally uploaded by lovegreendog.

...running a little ragged these days.
It's the end of another year and
I.just.can't.believe.it.

Happy holidays to you that pop in here.
I love you people.
I really do.

xo
A

waiting

2009-12-05T23:03:00.001-05:00

waiting
Originally uploaded by lovegreendog.

It's snowing.
Back in July I snapped photos out at the beach without control.
I couldn't stop snapping and I just kept at it.
This is what that was all about.
This day.
Snow falls and I ache for "ankle deep only because you have your jeans on", "let me help you roll them up", "just one, we can choose one seashell to bring back ".
I wonder for a second why I always say "just one".
They are collectors by nature, as am I. I know the difficulty and delight of "just one".
I close my eyes and can so clearly hear the words, the water, the birds, the rain that is moments away.

Presently the stove pops and the tree lights dance. Snow is sticking and blanketing and yet I am still chilly.
I begin calculating how many days until...

2009-12-03T11:34:00.001-05:00

Originally uploaded by lovegreendog.

upside down and

2009-12-01T10:20:00.001-05:00

Originally uploaded by lovegreendog.

guilty of:
yelling
swearing
impatience
resentment
wishing time away
and unloading all my troubles to people I barely know

yikes!
of course I'll be fine...
wink

2009-11-22T21:32:00.001-05:00

Originally uploaded by lovegreendog.

the days are filled with questions

2009-10-31T07:05:00.001-04:00

Originally uploaded by lovegreendog.

2009-10-27T21:54:00.001-04:00

Originally uploaded by lovegreendog.

I sort of want to make out with autumn this year.

wednesday

2009-10-21T21:32:00.002-04:00

I have looked up how to spell pineapple 3 times this week.
The "ea" never looks quite right to me.
(and yes I looked again to spell it for this post)

2009-10-20T10:29:00.001-04:00

Originally uploaded by lovegreendog.

I am no longer the youngest mom at drop offs and birthday parties.
Becoming okay with that is taking longer than I suspected it might.

autumn does this to me

2009-10-19T22:42:00.001-04:00

yellow & friends
Originally uploaded by lovegreendog.

there is some sort of
quiet steam engine of change
going on inside me.
I'll let you know when it pulls into the station.

spc

2009-10-18T11:55:00.001-04:00

Originally uploaded by lovegreendog.

the october theme is hats

2009-10-17T23:00:00.001-04:00

Originally uploaded by lovegreendog.

2009-10-14T22:21:00.002-04:00

the wednesday confessional
photo style

holy crap or i got a job

2009-10-06T20:42:00.004-04:00

so, now I am a working mother.
I really can not believe that women do this.

There are days when I walk through the door at night and I want to walk straight up the stairs and carefully check over each of my children. I am looking to see what I have missed, how much they grew while I was gone for x number of hours. I am looking to see visible signs of the joy and troubles they had without me.
There are just as many times I want to go upstairs and crawl under the covers and open my eyes not a minute before the alarm will go off in the morning.
And then those times I'd like to chatter away the evening hours with someone I love, but everyone is sleeping already.

so, now I am a working mother.
you girls are my new heroes.
can't even believe this....

2009-09-29T08:56:00.001-04:00

Originally uploaded by lovegreendog.

Anytime I find a pinecone or an acorn on the beach the world just seems so right. These seeds travel in mysterious ways and to come across them on the sand always brings a smile to my face.

it's nature way of reminding me that anything is possible

true love

2009-09-22T10:39:00.001-04:00

true love
Originally uploaded by lovegreendog.

it feels like i can exhale after such a long breath holding.
finally.
in through the nose, out through the mouth.
repeat.

feels so good.

not just the eggs in my fridge

2009-09-21T20:36:00.002-04:00

Lately I am seeing and realising that everything seems to have an expiration. There are times, relationships, and even some of my projects that are just plain expired. I'm not sure why I hadn't noticed this before now. Maybe because I was holding on, trying so hard to hold on. I can't quite place (and don't really need to, I guess) when I realised, or the how of it, but it feels like a relief.

I can leave things unfinished and not be a failure.
(you can too)

2009-09-14T13:22:00.003-04:00

I'm over at wishmamas today.
Big leap for me, feels great.

::reminder::

2009-08-20T07:29:00.002-04:00

Open your eyes.

the motherhood

2009-08-19T11:30:00.003-04:00

the summer found me longing for adventure
wishing for peace
and sometimes, I'll admit, quiet

I visited with my mother quite a bit, and I found all the ways we are the same and different. I wondered if my daughter does the same, and if she feels as exasperated as I do thinking about it.

I walked the beach with my grandmother and marveled at the organization, the patience and the determination it must have taken to get through the days of raising 9 little ones. I always feel like I can do it when I consider her as a mother.

Often my two older ones were off at the beach or the lake, they were on adventures of their own that included fairy houses, loose teeth, funny jokes and a canoe ride that I think we will be hearing about for a very long time. One of them learned to dive and the other is still trying, though feels she needs some privacy, because all those people trying to help, are no help at all.

For much of the summer I was alone with my baby and we survived four new molars, countless bumps and one bloody lip. We tried all of the local baby swings and walked the neighborhoods. I love to look at other peoples gardens. I try to formulate what the flowers say about the neighbors and haven't come up with an exactness to it. I'm working on it though. We ate corn on the cob and had so many breakfast as lunch/dinner days. The adventures were small and in some ways I didn't see it as such until weeks after.
Making for the best kind, I say.

September is so close with the promise of all things crisp. We are finding our way back into the kitchen together. Sweeping summer up and getting ready for the schedule that comes with school.

It feels like this is the beginning of them growing up and away. So many days I wished them out of my hair and now my chest feels tight with it all. I think it will always be this back and forth rhythm for us. This hanging on, wishing away, letting go, and reaching back, this is motherhood for me.

feeling inside out

2009-08-04T22:35:00.001-04:00

Originally uploaded by lovegreendog.

I look down
at the line in the sand
and I wonder about the sides of this motherhood walk.
What is too much for them
and for me,
and how do we know?

busy....

2009-08-02T21:31:00.001-04:00

waves
Originally uploaded by lovegreendog.

a short note to self:

2009-07-27T14:55:00.001-04:00

focus
Originally uploaded by lovegreendog.

When your gag reflex is initiated by words (or overuse of) such as "lovely", "swoon", "...sigh", and "bits" (as referring to small amounts), it is time to walk away from the www for a little while.
Those are fine and quaint phrases, but I've had my fill and it is time to hold the hands next to me and stroll.

I'll be back.
(you know I will.)

just for

2009-07-25T19:51:00.001-04:00

kicks
Originally uploaded by lovegreendog.

things i've learned from my kids during the first week of summer vacation

2009-06-23T12:54:00.001-04:00

Originally uploaded by lovegreendog.

* there will always be a nose to wipe, a hand to hold, a someone who needs a gentle reminder that showers are a good thing
* your baby will somedays be a grouch
* growing pains are real
* being the oldest stinks sometimes
* sometimes sharing is difficult
* solitude is precious and rare in this house
* poop on the floor isn't a big deal when you don't have carpet
* there will be days when there is poop on the floor
* endless rain aggravates even the cheeriest
* fresh fruit and fresh eggs are the perfect breakfast
* banana bread can make you feel warm
* summer reading lists are cool
* library cards are like passports
* it's okay to put your feet up at nap time, your lists and chores will wait for you
* granola + yougurt + frozen berries= a pefect take along meal
* a straw makes everything in a cup taste good
* nothing beats climbing into a well made bed at the end of the day

all that in one week.
it's gonna be an interesting summer, a good one I think.
a little sunshine would make it great.