Griper News

News Roundup for 11/30/09

2009-11-30T15:07:00.001-06:00

The Gospel According to Rick; "Chuck them stones!"

-Headline of the day-
"Pastor Rick Warren Refuses To Condemn Ugandan Law Making Homosexual Acts Punishable By Death."

That's what Jesus would do, I guess. Or not. Who even knows?

Turns out that Uganda is considering an Anti-Homosexuality Bill in which the penalty for doing gay stuff is either life in prison or death -- in prison, I guess. This strikes many observers as kind of bloodthirsty and tyrannical, but not Pastor Rick. He says it's none of his business:

The fundamental dignity of every person, our right to be free, and the freedom to make moral choices are gifts endowed by God, our creator. However, it is not my personal calling as a pastor in America to comment or interfere in the political process of other nations.

I think the pod people got Rick. When he was on Sean Hannity's Why do Liberals Hate America? Show last December, he was all about "interfering in the political process of other nations."

When Hannity suggested that we ought to "take out" Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinajoodle, Rick was all for it. Best idea anyone ever had. Stick a bullet right between Ahmajinnywinkle's eyes. See, according to last year's version of Rick, fighting "evil" is "the legitimate role of government. The Bible says that God puts government on earth to punish evildoers."

You really wish he'd make up his mind about this sort of thing. That is, unless he thinks that gays are "evildoers" who we all ought to be killing.

Which kind of seems to be the case. (Think Progress)

-So how's the media doing?-
The big news lately has been that SARAH PALIN'S WRITTEN A BOOK! It's all over the news, because everyone wants to know all about it, right?

Well, not really. The Pew Research Center for the Public & the Press went and did something crazy; they asked people what stories they've been following and healthcare reform was the #1 issue (41%), followed by the swine flu (18%), mammogram news (11%), Afghanistan (11%), Obama's Asia trip (4%), and SARAH PALIN'S WRITTEN A BOOK! takes up the rear with 2%. In fact, 52% say there's "too much" coverage of SARAH PALIN'S WRITTEN A BOOK! Which is surprising, because it's such earth-shattering news. I mean, how else are you supposed to find out how Sarah feels about God and open-water drilling?

On a related note, media darling Dick Cheney is about the least popular guy in his little gang. According to Greg Sargent, "Significantly less than one percent of Republicans think Cheney best reflects their party's core values."

How significantly less? Try 0.125%. "The WaPo polling unit tells me that approximately 800 Republicans and Republican leaners were surveyed on this question," Sargent writes, "of that 800, WaPo’s polling gurus confirm, only a single person picked Cheney as the best reflection of the party’s values."

Keep that in mind the next time some foxbot conducts a breathless interview with the Big Dick -- not even Republicans give a damn what he says. (Pew, Plum Line)

-Speaking of polling-
A groundbreaking Vanity Fair/CBS News poll finds that "Half of Americans Would Rather Lay a Wreath on Tomb of the Unknown Solider Than Light Olympic Torch or Flip Coin at Super Bowl."

Because that's a decision we'll all be forced to make eventually. (Wonkette)

Putting State Cops in the Wall Street Casino

2009-11-30T12:53:00.002-06:00

If Wall Street's going to stick with casino capitalism, maybe it's time to treat it like the casino it actually is.

McClatchy Newspapers:

Sen. Maria Cantwell wants to use state gambling laws to regulate parts of Wall Street, saying someone needs to police financial markets where "casino capitalism" involving highly speculative trades she likens to sophisticated betting continue unabated and threaten to create yet another financial crisis.

"She's going for their jugular," Michael Greenberger, a University of Maryland law professor, said of the effort by Cantwell, a Washington state Democrat. Greenberger was a top official at the Commodity Futures Trading Commission during the Clinton administration who unsuccessfully fought to regulate such trading.

Cantwell wants to repeal parts of a 2000 law that barred states from using their gambling laws to help rein in the nearly $600 trillion derivatives market.

The report says that "well-known financiers as Warren Buffett and Felix Rohatyn have called derivatives 'financial weapons of mass destruction' and 'financial hydrogen bombs.'" Not surprisingly, industry groups disagree. So expect the right to pull their "worst thing ever" routine again.

If you think about it, investing in general and derivatives in particular have a lot in common with parimutuel betting -- like in horse racing. At the track, the odds aren't set in stone and betting can affect what a winner pays after you've placed your bet -- i.e., if a lot of people bet on the same horse, the odds adjust accordingly. A crooked track could use this to increase their profits -- paying out less by having shills place bets -- but that would be illegal.

Likewise, public opinion plays a part in the market and derivatives dealers can manipulate prices in similar ways. In many cases (e.g., short selling), these manipulations aren't at all illegal, even though they screw people without the money or connections to manipulate prices. You know, people like you.

Griper Blade: Right Out of Touch on Climate

2009-11-30T11:33:00.001-06:00

Between illness and Thanksgiving, I managed to take nearly a week off. Back on track now.

Quite a lot happened during the Holiday week, very little of it good. Among the bad news that hasn't gotten a lot of press is news that the American public's belief in global warming is at its lowest point since ABC News/Washington Post polling began tracking the issue. Things aren't as bad as they sound, though:

ABC News:

The number of Americans who believe global warming is occurring has declined to its lowest since 1997, though at 72 percent, it's still a broad majority. The drop has steepened in the last year-and-a-half -- almost exclusively among conservatives and Republicans.

This ABC News/Washington Post poll also finds that support for government action to address the issue, while still a majority, likewise is down from its levels in summer 2008.

So, the vast majority of Americans still believe in global warming, it's just that Republican voters are continuing their trend of diving outside the mainstream. Imagine my surprise... [CLICK TO READ FULL POST]

News Roundup for 11/25/09

2009-11-25T16:23:00.001-06:00

Giuliani, shown tickling John McCain on Celebrity Jeopardy

-Headline of the day-
"Rudy Giuliani, Serial Rumor Monger."

Rudy Giuliani's Senate campaign seems to be going about as well as his presidential campaign. A few days ago, source close to Rudy said he would definitely make it official within 48 hours -- Rudy was throwing his hat in the ring.

"120 hours later (and counting)," the report tells us, "the world is still waiting to hear from Rudy. And as the minutes, hours and days pass, the scoop is feeling more and more like a red herring." Is he running? Isn't he? Seems like he kind of ought to say something either way. "Instead, he's been silent and invisible while the momentum generated by the story has morphed into confusion," we're told.

Everyone knows that Giuliani likes the attention and lately that attention's come in the form of being a frequent talking head on the teevee machine, which is probably a pretty good gig. You may not have noticed, but there's no requirement for pundits to ever be right about anything, so Rudy gets to say all sorts of crazy shit without any consequences. This isn't the way campaigns work and it isn't the way being an actual Senator works. You're supposed to be kind of good at it, where as a teevee pundit you can be wrong all the damned time -- I give you William Kristol as proof of that.

Anyway, is Rudy running? Is he not running? Who knows? And screwing around like this is a good way to turn "who knows?" into "who cares?" Hell, I'm losing interest already -- and I'm into this kind of stuff. (New York Observer)

-That's not the way I remember it-
Sean Hannity is mad that the president doesn't use the term "war on terror." Turns out that not using those words is the worst thing ever. I'd explain why that is, but for the life of me I can't figure out what difference it makes.

Anyway, he got former White House press secretary Dana Perino to go on his show and talk really fast. I think she does that so that she can shoot right by some unfortunate facts before you know what happened.

The shootings at Ft. Hood were brought up and Dana launched a little bit of BS. "They want to do all of their investigations," she said. "I don't know. All of the thinking that goes into it. But we did not have a terrorist attack on our country during President Bush's term. I hope they're not looking at this politically. I do think we owe it to the American people to call it what it is."

You know, I seem to remember a terrorist attack that happened during Bush's term. A big flaming catastrophe, in fact. And then another one involving anthrax. So maybe she means that other than the two terr'ist attacks that happened during Bush's terms, there were no two terr'ist attacks that happened during Bush's terms. Which is a really unique way of looking at things. (Think Progress)

-Bonus HotD-
"Rightwing uproar over Best Buy's 'Happy Eid al-Adha' wish to Muslims."

Seems the big box retailer put out a Holiday wish to Muslims in a circular and now all the frootloops on the right think it means they hate America and love the terr'ists. See, because all Muslims are Islamic extremists in the same way that all Irish Catholics like to blow shit up.

This story got picked up by the rightwing loony bin at FreeRepublic.com, where the freepers decided that this would be a good time to go completely mental. They're all jamming Best Buy's customer forums to announce that they aren't going to buy anything from Best Buy and that -- and this is verbatim -- "you are celebrating a muslim holiday that commemorates human sacrifice to please Allah."

Wow. Imagine that. Of course, this whole Christianity thing is based on human sacrifice, but I guess we aren't supposed to think about that. Anyway, this way of describing the holiday's not exactly correct and can more accurately be described as "bullshit." It actually commemorates a story a lot of Christians will be familiar with and see as evidence of God's mercy. So there's that.

Still, there's nothing like a good old fashioned freak out to really get a wingnut's juices going. And actually being as close to totally wrong as is possible is just gravy.

Here's what I say; spend stupid amounts of money at Best Buy to get gifts for the wingnuts on your list. That ought to be fun to watch... (Minnesota Independent)

Senate Healthcare Debate on Twitter

2009-11-21T13:04:00.003-06:00

I'm going to be at a party with friends tonight, so I'm not going to be able to provide updates on the healthcare debate in the Senate. Luckily for me, I was able to rope a bunch of smart people into doing all my updates for me, using the super-sneaky method of putting my "News" list from Twitter up as a blog post:

Now I can drink a lot of beer, then view whatever wreckage there is from the debate -- and following vote -- tomorrow.

Easiest. Live-blogging. Ever.

Envy me.

News Roundup for 11/20/09

2009-11-20T16:06:00.001-06:00

Utah state senator Chris Buttars, noted catcher

-Headline of the day-
"Utah lawmaker claims he doesn't 'mind' gays, but 'I don’t want 'em stuffing it down my throat all the time.'"

Apparently Utah's a lot different than I thought it was. State Sen. Chris Buttars, who's just a big bucket-o-fun, proves that -- if you're just crazy enough -- you can make a statement that's even funnier than that headline. Seems that Utah wants to make it illegal to discriminate in employment and housing based on sexual orientation. Obviously, this is the worst idea that anyone ever had. Here in Wisconsin, we passed the first such law in the nation and looked what happened -- every time someone says "Wisconsin," you think "big homo Disneyland."

So someone asked Buttars what he thought of the whole idea and I swear this is a verbatim quote; "I meet with the gays here and there. They were in my house two weeks ago. I don't mind gays. But I don't want 'em stuffing it down my throat all the time. Certainly not in my kid's face."

Punchline? Who needs a punchline? (Think Progress)

-They're everywhere-
Yesterday, you might have noticed that all the planes fell out of the sky because of a failure of the FAA's computer. This leaves some wondering, why did the computer choose to fail?

Click for full comic

Likely story...(Bad Reporter)

-Bonus HotD-
"Lou Dobbs Now Mulling Future In Politics."

It's tough job market and a some people who've been fired have set their sights kind of low. But no Walmart greeter job for Lou Dobbs and no sitting around on the couch in his underwear eating chips (regular old potato chips, because Doritos, Fritos, and Tostitos are taking over our country!). Nope, Lou's decided that maybe people love him enough to elect him to some sort of job.

Dobbs is telling anyone who'll listen that he's "considering career options including possible runs for the White House or U.S. Senate" and that, "Right now I feel exhilaration at the wide range of choices before me as to what I do next."

"I am ruling nothing out... I have come to no conclusions and no decisions," he said. "Do I seek to have some influence on public policy? Absolutely. Do I seek to represent and champion the middle class in this country and those who aspire to it? Absolutely. And I will."

"One is reminded of the fact that Dobbs is just one of a long line of ivory-tower-educated millionaire media elites who fancy themselves to be an authentic voice of the 'middle class,'" writes Huffington Post's Jason Linkins. "Fun fact: Dobbs's daughter is way into equestrian sports, America's most populist pastime!"

One thing's for sure, he's got the Hispanic vote all locked up. (Huffington Post)

John McCain, Recovering Environmentalist

2009-11-20T12:19:00.001-06:00

John McCain, formerly one of the most environmentalist people on the right, has decided that fighting global warming is the worst thing ever -- and he's attacking his buddies on the issue

Politico:

Sens. Lindsey Graham and Joe Lieberman have been working overtime to craft a climate bill that can attract significant GOP support. But they aren’t exactly scoring points with their mutual best friend in the Senate, John McCain.

“Their start has been horrendous,” McCain said Thursday. “Obviously, they’re going nowhere.”

McCain has emerged as a vocal opponent of the climate bill — a major reversal for the self-proclaimed maverick who once made defying his party on global warming a signature issue of his career.

For their part, people who know McCain think this is all a big mystery.

Former aides are mystified by what they see as a retreat on the issue, given McCain’s long history of leadership on climate legislation. McCain and Lieberman authored their first climate bill in 2003 and reintroduced the legislation in 2005 and 2007. “The only reason we are debating climate legislation in the Senate right now is because of the leadership he showed three Congresses ago,” said Tim Profeta, a former staffer for the Connecticut independent on climate issues who is now a professor at Duke University.

“I wouldn’t be here on this issue without him,” said Graham, a South Carolina Republican who spent much of last fall campaigning for McCain. “He’s the guy that introduced me to the climate problem.”

Maybe a Rasmussen poll (courtesy of Matthew Yglesias) can shed a little light on things:

Senator John McCain’s future in the U.S. Senate may be a little less assured than previously thought.

A new Rasmussen Reports telephone survey of likely 2010 Republican Primary voters in Arizona finds the longtime incumbent in a virtual tie with potential challenger J.D. Hayworth. McCain earns 45% of the vote, while Hayworth picks up 43%.

So he's planning on running to the right of right. And this means hating the environment. I'm only being slightly hyperbolic here. The biggest motivation for Republican voters in opposing environmental legislation is that the left likes it, so it must be wrong. If the cure for global warming were to put more oxygen into the atmosphere, there'd be a movement on the right to eliminate oxygen altogether. If that kills everyone and everything, so be it. The guiding principle here is that lefties are always wrong.

"This seems like pretty much terrible news for the world," Yglesias writes. "The most likely path between Point A and Senate passage of a reasonable climate bill is for McCain to rediscover his interest in the issue. But that’s not the sort of thing a Senator worried about a right-wing primary challenge is likely to do. It would be different if, say, Janet Napolitano were mounting a strong challenge for the seat, but instead Democrats have no major contender in the field."

News Roundup for 11/19/09

2009-11-19T15:48:00.001-06:00

President Obama, shown destroying America

-Headline of the day-
"Fox News Polls Obama’s Bow, Finds Majority Of Republicans Support It."

When FOX Nation asked if Obama was the most embarrassing president ever, they answered their own question with a resounding "Obviously!" See, the President bowed to the Emperor of Japan (instead of giving him the traditional wedgie) and this was the worst breach of diplomatic protocol since Chester Arthur took a dump on the Queen of Norway's coffee table.

Needless to say, Americans were outraged that Obama would do what's only considered polite in Japan and we all attempted suicide we heard about it. At least, that's what FOX assumed. And then they went and blew a perfectly good and well-manufactured mini-scandal by actually asking us what we thought about it.

"When the president of the United States is traveling overseas," they asked in a poll, "do you think it is appropriate for him to bow to a foreign leader if that is the country’s custom or is it never appropriate for the president to bow to another leader?"

67% of respondents said they were cool with it. Worse, 53% of Republicans said it was appropriate and didn't see any problem with it.

Clearly, the terr'ists have won. (Plum Line)

-Cartoon time with Mark Fiore-
Hey kids, bad people called "terr'ists" are coming to America to run our courts or something! What do grownups think of this?

Click for animation

I guess it depends on your definition of "think." (MarkFiore.com)

-Bonus HotD-
"Hoffman un-un-unconcedes the NY-23 special election."

Oh for chrissake... (Think Progress)

-Station note-
Tomorrow's my birthday and I'm going to go eat fish at Captain Swampy's Top Hat (something like that anyway) and then drink beer. I'm probably going to skip the morning post and maybe the roundup. Maybe not the roundup, but maybe so. So don't get your hopes up. It all depends on how Big King Birthday Boy feels at the moment.

I'd say I plan to have a drink for every year I've been alive, but I'm pretty sure that'd be enough to kill three people and I don't want those deaths on my conscience. (My Life)

Republicans Discover New Way to be Insane

2009-11-19T14:02:00.001-06:00

Ok, so the birther thing turned out to be crazy. Likewise the FEMA camps and the Obama Youth. But this time for sure:

Talking Points Memo:

The new national poll from Public Policy Polling (D) has an astonishing number about paranoia among the GOP base: Republicans do not think President Obama actually won the 2008 election -- instead, ACORN stole it.

That's right. Obama stole the election in... Oh, let's say Florida.

The poll asked this question: "Do you think that Barack Obama legitimately won the Presidential election last year, or do you think that ACORN stole it for him?" The overall top-line is legitimately won 62%, ACORN stole it 26%.
Among Republicans, however, only 27% say Obama actually won the race, with 52% -- an outright majority -- saying that ACORN stole it, and 21% are undecided. Among McCain voters, the breakdown is 31%-49%-20%. By comparison, independents weigh in at 72%-18%-10%, and Democrats are 86%-9%-4%.

Of course, this is going to turn out to be just as well-founded as the belief that Hawaii isn't really a state, but these people never let reality hold them back. "In order to believe that Obama wasn't the true winner of the 2008 election," writes TPM's Eric Kleefeld, "one would have to think that ACORN (and perhaps other groups) stuffed ballots to the tune of over 9.5 million votes, Obama's national margin."

Still, expect this to be the new, hot thing among Republican voters. ""Belief in the ACORN conspiracy theory is even higher among GOP partisans than the birther one, which only 42% of Republicans expressed agreement with on our national survey in September," says PPP communications director Tom Jensen.

The stupid just never ends...

Griper Blade: A Roadblock to Reform Gets Torn Down

2009-11-19T11:37:00.001-06:00

The Senate's version of healthcare reform is finally ready for prime time. Considering that this was supposed to be ready in August, I'll withhold my applause on that point -- there's showing up to school tardy and then there's showing up late in the afternoon. It was the Senate who was the footdragger here; Pelosi was willing to keep the House in session during the August recess, but when Harry Reid caved and shut off the lights in the Senate, there really was no point in doing it. We all know what happened after that; the town hall shriekers made a big stink and an embarrassing spectacle of themselves, completely dissipating any momentum either chamber had. Forget two steps forward, one step back; August's progress to regress ratio was one-to-one.

Still, here we are. We (assuming they can pass it) have got a bill. Like anything that's the product of months of horsetrading, wrangling, and compromise, it's an imperfect bill. Writing for The Atlantic's politics blog, Max Fisher does a good job of collecting legitimate criticisms of the bill and, by legitimate, I mean that the words "IT'S OUT OF CONTROL SOCIALISM, LIKE HITLER'S GERMANY!" don't appear anywhere in the post. I won't rehash it here, since there's no reason for me to rewrite an already good post, I'll just cite the criticisms and leave it to you to check them out.

Still, like the House bill before it, the Senate's version is not the bill. Both pieces of legislation will go to conference committee, be melted down into some sort of legislative alloy of both, and returned to each chamber for a final vote. Unless a provision is in both bills, there's no guarantee it'll make it out of committee. Believe it or not, all this stuff that's been happening for most of this year could reasonably be called the start of this whole process. It's just the hardest part... [CLICK TO READ FULL POST]

Photo source: New York Times

News Roundup for 11/18/09

2009-11-18T15:48:00.000-06:00

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX)

-Headline of the day-
"Rep. Louie Gohmert: Democrats want another terrorist attack so they can pass a new jobs bill."

Yeah, that makes sense. We all remember how after 9/11, George W. whipped up hysteria to pass a jobs bill. See, because nothing says "we need jobs!" like a devastating terrorist attack. Well, other than vampires, anyway.

Gohmert made his assertion where all crazy-assed lunatics make these assertions -- on FOX News. In an appearance on the Come Shriek Crazy Shit at Neal Cavuto show, Louie said he was introducing a bill to to keep Khalid Sheik Mohammed out of a New York City court (a bill, by the way, that would be so unconstitutional that it wouldn't stand for a day, even if it had a chance in hell of passing). He also said Democrats were dumb. Or insane. He hasn't made up his mind yet.

"You've got millions of New Yorkers that would be put at risk [by trying Khalid Sheik Mohammed in New York City]... Unless they're trying to create a new jobs bill by allowing terrorism back in New York, this is insane," Gooie Lohmert said. "And even that would be insane."

There's video, but I didn't play it, so I don't know whether Mertie Lougom crapped himself in a patriotic fit of pure terror at the thought of KSM actually standing there in court, but I assume he did. It's the in-thing for all the Republican kids these days. (Think Progress, with aforementioned video)

-Just being helpful-
Sarah Palin's new book, Is That Putin Outside o My Kitchen Window?: The Sarah Palin Chronicles, doesn't have an index. Because that's what they expect you to do and she's a maverick, so she's not gonna do that, nosireebob.

The problem here is that when famous people get the book, they go straight to the index to see how often they're mentioned. Editors refer to this as "Gingriching." Anyway, this is a big problem with the book, so Christopher Beam went ahead and wrote an index at Slate.

There are entries for halibut tacos, reindeer sausage, and caribou lasagna, just in case you didn't know she lived in Alaska. There's also a mention of Bono and a whole bunch of stuff about God. Another fun entry: "moose, 18, 20, 31, 113, 134, 270."

So, if you aren't Bono, God, or a moose, you probably don't want to read this thing. That is, unless you're really into Ronald Reagan. With mentions on pages "3, 12, 45, 46, 47, 59, 124, 158, 216, 297, 384, 386, 387, 391, 394, 400," he gets more page space than God. (Slate, via reddit)

-Bonus HotD-
"Obama won't read Palin's book."

You and me both, pal... (CNN)

GOP Voters to Party: Insufficiently Crazy Candidates Need Not Apply

2009-11-18T14:16:00.001-06:00

Over at Political Wire, Taegan Goddard finds an interesting fact in a CNN poll:

"The poll indicates that a slight majority, 51%, of Republicans would prefer to see the GOP in their area nominate candidates who agree with them on all the major the issues even if they have a poor chance of beating the Democratic candidate. Forty-three percent of Republicans say they would rather have candidates with whom they don't agree on all the important issues but who can beat the Democrats."

In contrast, Democrats polled "seemed to place a slightly higher priority on electoral victory: 58% say that they would like their party to nominate candidates who can beat Republicans, even if they don't agree with those candidates on all the issues."

In other words, most Republican voters -- although frustrated by their party's minority status -- would rather lose than vote in an ideologically impure Republican. Ezra Klein wonders, "It would be interesting to see whether anyone asked this question when Democrats were in the minority and, if so, whether the numbers flipped. Is this a feature of the Republican Party or a feature of the party that's out of power?"

I don't think there's much of a question; look at the Democratic Party now. Sure, dem voters tried to kick out Joe Lieberman, but the coalition would still be pretty broad without Traitor Joe. We're wrangling with Blue Dogs over healthcare reform costs and anti-choice dems like Bart Stupak over abortion. I don't remember anyone saying, "Aw crap!" when they won.

The closest thing I remember to a RINO hunt is the anti-Lieberman DINO hunt. And that's it. "Democrat In Name Only" has never been a real battlecry on the left.

In any case, this pours a little cold water on the "Republicans on the way back" stories bouncing around the media and the net. If the GOP puts up someone who the base thinks is ideologically impure, the majority of Republicans won't care if they get elected -- which not only risks more NY-23s, but a real lack of enthusiasm for candidates who have a chance of winning.

Study: Stupak Amendment Would Eventually End Coverage of Abortion Industry-Wide

2009-11-18T12:48:00.000-06:00

You know how everyone's been saying that the Stupak amendment is a de facto ban on health insurance coverage for abortions? A new George Washington University School of Public Health and Health Services study looks in to the claim and finds that, yeah, the Stupak amendment is a de facto ban on health insurance coverage for abortions.

Industry-wide impact that will shift the standard of coverage for medically indicated abortions for all women: In view of how the health benefit services industry operates and how insurance product design responds to broad regulatory intervention aimed at reshaping product content, we conclude that the treatment exclusions under the Stupak/Pitts Amendment will have an industry-wide effect, eliminating coverage of medically indicated abortions over time for all women, not only those whose coverage is derived through a health insurance exchange. As a result, Stupak/Pitts can be expected to move the industry away from current norms of coverage for medically indicated abortions. In combination with the Hyde Amendment, Stupak/Pitts will impose a coverage exclusion for medically indicated abortions on such a widespread basis that the health benefit services industry can be expected to recalibrate product design downward across the board in order to accommodate the exclusion in selected markets.

"In other words," explains Brian Beutler for Talking Points Memo, "though the immediate impact of the Stupak amendment will be limited to the millions of women initially insured through a new insurance exchange, over time, as the exchanges grow, the insurance industry will scale down their abortion coverage options until they offer none at all."

Supporters argue that the amendment wouldn't change the status quo, but this study concludes that's just not true. In any case, since the Hyde Amendment bans federal tax dollars paying for abortion, Stupak's provision is unnecessary to preserve the status quo. The argument for his amendment is stupid on it's face; that using tax dollars to pay for abortion has to be more illegal -- and illegal in new and interesting ways.

As it's written, his amendment is designed to kick the insurance industry out of the abortion business. When supporters say anything different, they're either just plain wrong or just plain lying.

Griper Blade: Red States Operate on the Blue States' Dime

2009-11-18T11:14:00.000-06:00

Let's get right to the point. The five poorest states in the nation are Mississippi, West Virginia, Arkansas, South Carolina, and Kentucky. The five wealthiest states are Connecticut, New Jersey, Massachusetts, New York, and Maryland. Those are the numbers from the US Census and they tell us a lot about the partisan divide in America. Of the five pooorest states in the union, five are Red States that went for McCain in 2008. On the other hand, of the five wealthiest states, all five voted for Obama -- see for yourself. In other words, the anti-tax, screw-the-poor, federal-government-isn't-the-answer crowd comes mainly from the poorest states and are, therefore, among the most lightly taxed. They're the ones who seem mostly likely to benefit from federal government money. In terms of federal taxes spent in their states, Mississippi gets 202% of every dollar they pay, West Virginia get 176%, Arkansas gets 141%, South Carolina gets 135%, and Kentucky gets 151%. The only state in the five wealthiest that receives more than they pay out is Maryland, at 130%. People marching around in angry little circles with signs showing President Obama with a Hitler moustache haven't been paying their fair share. Kind of makes their concerns about the deficit a little hard to take, doesn't it?

If you want an example of socialism, there ya go. Republican voters are runaway socialists. Except the poverty of Redstatistan suggests that this socialism isn't exactly benefiting proletariat. In fact, they're getting worse.

Crooks and Liars:

Throughout their all-out campaign to stop health care reform, Republican leaders have relied on questionable forecasts from the Lewin Group, a subsidiary of insurer UnitedHealth Group. Now, another study funded by UnitedHealth has some unwelcome news for the GOP braintrust: the red states they represent are the unhealthiest in the nation. Following on the heels of the Commonwealth Fund's 2009 Scorecard of state health care system performance, the United Health Foundation's report is just the latest confirmation that health care is worst where Republicans poll best.

No wonder these people think government doesn't work -- their state governments are blowful. It's tempting to say that Republican voters get the governments they deserve, but the truth is that this is costing us all. We're reimbursing Mississippi for their tax dollars at a rate of better than 2:1 and not many -- certainly not you, not me, not the vast majority of people in Mississippi -- are getting much out of that investment... [CLICK TO READ FULL POST]

News Roundup for 11/17/09

2009-11-17T15:24:00.005-06:00

Barack Obama is the most embarrassing president ever

-Headline of the day-
"Our Most Embarrassing President?"

Hahaha! Barack Obama bowed to the Emperor of Japan... What a dope! Bet he took his shoes off, too. This was a terrible breach of protocol that has the whole world talking... OK, maybe not, but all America is talking... OK, so it's just FOX News. But FOX is real, man, and if they think this is the worst thing ever, then this is the worst thing ever. Everyone with a brain knows that when an American president meets a foreign monarch, he's supposed to beat him nearly to death and steal his wife. That's in the Constitution. Look it up.

Anyway, FOX News' "FOX Nation" website asks -- in a fair and balanced way -- whether our current president is history's biggest embarrassment. "He established a new precedent for how American presidents should pay obeisance to kings, emperors, monarchs, sovereigns and assorted other authentic man-made masters of the universe," FOX reports. "He stopped just this side of the full grovel to the emperor of Japan, risking a painful genuflection if his forehead had hit the floor with a nasty bump, which it almost did."

God, what an idiot. Is he the most embarrassing ever? Let's take a look back:

There was the time Obama made out with a Saudi prince...

And the time he tried to molest the German Chancellor...

Or the time he got hammered and thought he could dance...

Or the other time he got hammered and spanked an Olympic athlete in Beijing...

Or the other time he got hammered and picked a fight with a pretzel (a fight he lost, by the way)...

Or the time he became the first person to ever wipe out on a supposedly "foolproof" Segway scooter...

Wait, what? Obama's the black fella?

Never mind. (FOX Nation)

-A real tough interview-
Rush Limbaugh interviewed Sarah Palin. It's a big long boring interview, but if you really need to know what it was all about, allow me to present the Reader's Digest condensed version:

LIMBAUGH: Ubububub... Why are you so awesome?... Ububub...
PALIN: giggles

That's it in a nutshell. Read the whole thing if you want, but I think you'll find my abridged version was amazingly accurate. (RushLimbaugh.com)

-Bonus HotD-
"Hoffman un-unconcedes the NY-23 special election."

There are still uncounted absentee ballots in New York's 23rd congressional district race and, at the behest of his mentor, Conservative Party candidate, teabagger king, and Glenn Beck protege Doug Hoffman decided to "unconcede" the race. See, y'gotta be in it to win it.

Anyhoo, it turns out that maybe Glenn Beck's not the best political adviser in the world and now Hoffman as un-unconceded -- or took back his taking back of his concession to Democrat Bill Owen.

That's what you like to see in a political candidate, decisiveness. (Think Progress)

And the Award for Most Insane Fearmongering Goes to...

2009-11-17T12:59:00.001-06:00

Arizona Republican Rep. John Shadegg really brings the crazy:

A partial transcript, from Media Matters:

SHADEGG: I saw the Mayor of New York said today, "We're tough. We can do it." Well, Mayor, how are you going to feel when it's your daughter that's kidnapped at school by a terrorist? How are you going to feel when it's some clerk -- some innocent clerk of the court -- whose daughter or son is kidnapped? Or the jailer's little brother or little sister? This is political correctness run amok.

Is this some weird crystal ball gazing on your part or is that a threat, John? It's not extremely clear. You seem to be saying that the most obvious and logical outcome for a terrorism trial in New York City is to have the Mayor's daughter kidnapped. Since this isn't exactly so obvious and logical to anyone else on the planet, it kind of comes across as a threat. If anyone goes missing here, I suggest the first place we look is in John Shadegg's toolshed.

When I say that Shadegg brings the crazy, I'm backed up by whatever robot determines the "related videos" on YouTube. If you liked Shadegg's fearmongering idiocy, you might also enjoy "Crazy," by Aerosmith, "Crazy," by Gnarls Barkley, or "(You Drive Me) Crazy," by Britney Spears.

UPDATE: Talking Point Memo reports that Shadegg has apologized for the statement, in a sort of "have your cake and eat it too" way.

"I apologize for the insensitivity of my remarks with respect to the mayor or his family," he said, "however I think it is important to note that this decision involves potential risk to innocent people."

In other words, "I'm sorry I said something that was totally accurate."

Griper Blade: An Insubstantial 'Truth'

2009-11-17T11:41:00.000-06:00

Lionel Hutz: We've been getting a lot of calls about you, Marge. People love your hands-off approach!
Marge: Well, it's like we say: the right house for the right person.
Lionel Hutz: Yeah, about that... "the right house" is the one that's for sale; the "right person" is anybody.
Marge: Mr. Hutz! You're not suggesting that I bend the truth!
Lionel Hutz: Marge, there's "the truth" (frowns) and there's "the truth!" (smiles wide). Just take a look at some of our properties.
Marge: That house is tiny.
Lionel Hutz: We prefer to say "cozy".
Marge: That house is dilapidated.
Lionel Hutz: "Handyman's dream".
Marge: That house is on fire!
Lionel Hutz: "Motivated seller".
-The Simpsons, "Realty Bites"

Most of us know about the truth and "the truth." After all, we live in a world where "spin" is seen as acceptably dishonest. Truth is a slippery commodity in the United States and, when it shows up, it's generally pulled and twisted like taffy until it doesn't resemble truth at all. You yank it and mash it up until it looks like a wad of chewed bubblegum.

When the Washington Post reported that the US Chamber of Commerce seemed to be up to something shady, we got a glimpse of how "the truth" is manufactured:

The U.S. Chamber of Commerce and an assortment of national business groups opposed to President Obama's health-care reform effort are collecting money to finance an economic study that could be used to portray the legislation as a job killer and threat to the nation's economy, according to an e-mail solicitation from a top Chamber official.

The e-mail, written by the Chamber's senior health policy manager and obtained by The Washington Post, proposes spending $50,000 to hire a "respected economist" to study the impact of health-care legislation, which is expected to come to the Senate floor this week, would have on jobs and the economy.

Step two, according to the e-mail, appears to assume the outcome of the economic review: "The economist will then circulate a sign-on letter to hundreds of other economists saying that the bill will kill jobs and hurt the economy. We will then be able to use this open letter to produce advertisements, and as a powerful lobbying and grass-roots document."

That's right, the Chamber is going to do a big economic study on healthcare reform, the findings of which they magically already know. "The truth."... [CLICK TO READ FULL POST]

News Roundup for 11/16/09

2009-11-16T16:25:00.002-06:00

Teapartiers demand that teapartiers go back where they came from

-Headline of the day-
"Interloper tricks Tea Party audience into an anti-European immigrant chant of 'Columbus go home!'"

Because they aren't scattershot and unfocused enough as it is, teabaggers decided to have a big 50 city rally this weekend to protest illegal immigration. You probably didn't hear anything about it because no one cares. I think the media has finally figured out that these guys aren't exactly news. All you have to do is call for a rally protesting whatever-the-hell you're griping about and the teabaggers will show up, because they're against things.

A "concerned citizen from Minneapolis" named "Robert Erickson" seems to have figured it out too. And he used a rousing speech to demonstrate that, if you tell them to be against it, teabaggers will be against it -- no matter what the hell it is.

"Let's send these European immigrants back where they came from!" he urged a Minneapolis crowd. "I don't care if they are Polish, Irish, English, Italian, or Norwegian! European immigrants are responsible for the most violent and heinous crimes in the history of the world, including genocide and slavery! It's time to restore the sovereignty of people native to this land! I want more workplace raids, starting with the big banks downtown."

According to the report, "the crowd was in a frenzy and joined him in his chants of "Columbus go home!" and "Europeans out!'"

We're against things! Boo for white people like us! Teabags forever! w00t! (Think Progress)

-Maybe voodoo dolls or something-
In other teabagger news, people who are against things are dialing back the crazy, if not the stupid. The organizer of a Virginia tea party protest against -- oh, who knows... pick something -- has announced that he won't be burning House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Dem Rep. Tom Perriello in effigy. Turns out the guy who owns the property the party will be held on vetoed the idea, mostly because it's a little insane.

"We will not be going forward with the plan," Nigel Coleman, chairman of the Danville Tea Party, told Greg Sargent. "We had to cancel it. The property owner won't allow us to do it. The media attention was something that he didn't want." Sargent describes Coleman as "crestfallen."

"Last week, Coleman defended the plan as reminiscent of the American Revolutionaries," Sargent writes, "a historical comparison that’s somewhat tenuous, given that the revolutionaries were rebelling against a monarch, while the Tea Partiers are protesting a plan created by a government that was elected by a sizable majority."

Boo for democracy! We're against things! Teabags forever! w00t! (Plum Line)

-And rounding out the teabagger trifecta-
CNN is reporting that the vast majority of Americans think Sarah Palin is too dumb to be president. According to the report, "Fewer than three in 10 Americans think Sarah Palin's qualified to be president, according to a new national poll -- the least of any of the five potential candidates included in the survey."

Big surprise; Republicans disagree with the mainstream, with most saying she isn't too dumb to be president. Still, even 44% of GOP voters said that, yeah, she's a little bit underqualified. The poll comes out the day before the release of Palin's book, Obama's a Commie, McCain Was Mean to Me, and Katie Couric's a Stinker: My American Journey, so there's that.

Teabags forev... Aw, screw it. (CNN)

Rep. Mark Kirk: 'Let Me Run That by Al Qaeda and See What They Think'

2009-11-16T12:03:00.000-06:00

More for the right to panic over; the Obama administration plans to transfer some Guantanamo detainees to an Illinois prison. Of course, this is just 9/11 all over again. US Rep. Mark Kirk, a Senate candidate, decided to use this news as a reason to put out a patriotic call for cowardice:

Dear Mr. President:

According to the Chicago Tribune, your Administration may transfer up to 200 Al Qaeda terrorists from their detention facility in Guantanamo Bay a prison in Thomson, Illinois, 150 miles from Chicago.

If your Administration brings Al Qaeda terrorists to Illinois, our state and the Chicago Metropolitan Area will become ground zero for Jihadist terrorist plots, recruitment and radicalization.

Furthermore, since Thomson is located in the Northern District of Illinois, any civilian prosecution of Al Qaeda terrorists would occur in Rockford or downtown Chicago.

As home to America's tallest building, we should not invite Al Qaeda to make Illinois its number one target.

The United States spent more than $50 million to build the Guantanamo Bay detention facility to keep terrorists away from U.S. soil. Al Qaeda terrorists should stay where they cannot endanger American citizens.

As elected officials in the State of Illinois, we urge you to put the safety and security of Illinois families first and stop any plan to transfer Al Qaeda terrorists to our state.

I can boil this down to one sentence - "we shouldn't do things that terrorists won't like." Or, at least, not near where Mark Kirk is at the moment. Here's a crazy idea, how about we stop giving a damn what terrorists think? That way, they wouldn't be able to influence American politics (which, by the way, is exactly what they want).

Nutty, I know.

Griper Blade: No Courage Here

2009-11-16T11:02:00.000-06:00

In 2001, we all witnessed an American tragedy. The terrorist attack on 9/11 was unprecendented in its damage and loss of life. The plot was deceptively simple, hijack airliners and take them on kamikaze runs. We tend to see such massive loss of life as something that requires a complex mechanism -- a Bond villain with stolen military hardware or some sort of deathray -- and the idea that it was relatively simple just made it all worse. Who else could do this -- and when?

Most of the power that day's fear held over us was spent as political capital by the Bush administration. In terms of pointless waste of life, the Iraq war far surpasses September 11, 2001. After more than 4,000 Americans have been killed and Conservative estimates put the Iraqi body count at around 100,000. Eight years later, 9/11 has become part of the background in America. We live a constant "now" and 9/11 has finally become "then." At least, for most of us.

The news that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and four alleged 9/11 co-conspirators will be tried in New York City has demonstrated that some can't -- or won't -- let 9/11 become history. It's always part of their "now." Moments after the decision was announced, many slapped 9/11 on their sleeves and freaked out.

USA Today:

"Unconscionable," declared Sen. John Cornyn, R-Texas. "Dangerous," said former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani. "An unnecessary risk," said Sen. Jon Kyl, R-Ariz. Democrat Sen. Jim Webb of Virginia called Friday's decision to move Mohammed from Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, misguided, saying war criminals "do not belong in our courts."

I've got a lot of respect for Jim Webb, but sometimes he just comes out of left field. Some of this is just the typical right wing grandstanding designed to show that President Obama can't do anything right. If the White House had chosen a different route, it's hard to imagine he'd be getting a lot of praise from most of these people. But it's FOX News that demonstrates the underlying fear for the right -- that former President Bush might get pulled into the whole thing... [CLICK TO READ FULL POST]

Is the Stupak Amendment a 'Poison Pill?'

2009-11-15T15:02:00.000-06:00

According to a top White House advisor, President Obama is definitely not on board with the Stupak amendment to the House Healthcare Reform bill.

CNN:

In an interview that aired Sunday on CNN’s State of the Union, Obama adviser David Axelrod reiterated the president’s position on how abortion should be handled in the debate over health care reform.

“The president has said repeatedly, and he said in his speech to Congress, that he doesn’t believe that this bill should change the status quo as it relates to the issue of abortion,” Axelrod told CNN Chief National Correspondent John King. “He’s going to work with the Senate and the House to try to ensure that at the end of the day the status quo is not changed.”

Asked specifically whether the Stupak amendment changed the status quo, Axelrod replied “I think it’s fair to say the bill Congress passed does change the status quo. But I believe there are discussions ongoing as to how to change it accordingly.”

One thing that's been rolling around in my head lately is that some anti-reform Blue Dogs might be using the Stupak amendment as a "poison pill" amendment -- cynically voting for the amendment, while still voting against the entire bill -- in the hopes of either killing it after it comes back for the final vote or even that the president will veto it. The Stupak amendment got 240 votes, while the bill as a whole got 220.

For his part, Axelrod wouldn't say whether inclusion of the measure would earn the final bill a veto:

King asked Axelrod whether the president would sign a final health care bill that contains the Stupak amendment. Likening it to Obama’s position on the public health insurance, Axelrod said Obama “believes both these issues and can and will be worked through before [the final bill] reaches his desk.”

Doesn't really want to paint himself in a corner. Is healthcare reform worth the price of selling out a woman's right to choose? Can't really say. But it isn't hard to imagine one of those "this is a flawed bill, but it's still an improvement" statements as it gets the president's signature.

News Roundup for 11/13/09

2009-11-13T15:07:00.002-06:00

Hey, keep it in your pants, buddy!

-Headline of the day-
"RNC to opt out of abortion coverage."

This is a pretty complex issue, so let's see if I can encapsulate it for you; the Republican National Committee's employee health insurance plan used to cover elective abortion. This was the worst thing ever, because it only encouraged Republican women -- who are notoriously flighty and overly emotional -- to get abortions just for the fun of it. Of course, it also made the Republican Party a big bunch of hypocrites.

Politico got wind of this and published it on the interwebs for all the world to see and, boy howdy, were Republicans ever embarrassed. "Money from our loyal donors should not be used for this purpose," RNC chairman Michael Steele said in a statement. "I don't know why this policy existed in the past, but it will not exist under my administration. Consider this issue settled."

That's it, no more abortion coverage for lady employees of the Republican National Committee. It makes baby Jesus cry.

Of course, this sucks a little bit for said Republican ladies (or ladies covered by Republican men's plans). But what are you going to do? You can't really expect the Republican Party to do a 180 on the issue and get all rational all of a sudden. Besides, when has the GOP ever given a damn about workers anyway?

I guess Republicans better get used to only having sex when they want to have kids. And no wanking it guys, that makes baby Jesus cry too. (Politico)

-Cartoon time with Mark Fiore-
Hey kids, want to learn a different language? Try Tea-Bag, it's super easy!

Click for animation

Remember, Hitler wanted fries too! (MarkFiore.com)

-FOX in a box-
Despite getting busted for it, Sean Hannity continues to use doctored footage on his show.

Click for full comic

That crazy nut! He'll never learn... (Bad Reporter)

The Right's Cowardice Over Justice for KSM

2009-11-13T12:52:00.000-06:00

With news that alleged "9/11 mastermind" will face criminal trial in New York, the right has decided that now would be a good time to freak the fuck out. Speaking for the institutional right, House minority leader John Boehner called this an "irresponsible decision" that "puts the interests of liberal special interest groups before the safety and security of the American people." Boehner worries that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed "could be found 'not guilty' due to some legal technicality just blocks from Ground Zero..."

Way to believe in America, John.

Steve Benen comes out and basically calls this what I've always called it -- cowardice and kneejerk reactionism. "I've simply never understood the right's weak-kneed panic over the U.S. justice system," he writes. "From what I gather, the case against Khalid Shaikh Mohammed should be pretty easy to make in court, and securing a conviction is likely to be pretty easy. By giving this suspected monster a fair trial, we can prove to the world the strength of American values and the integrity of the American system. Shouldn't Cheney, Giuliani, and the rest of the motley crew who'll spend the day whining on Fox News want a trial for KSM?"

Of course, we're forgetting that Mohammed's a supervillain like Lexx Luthor and it's a sure bet he'll manage to build a proton cannon or a robot army and bust out of jail. Al Qaeda guys are like magic or something and the only thing that can hold them is a chainlink fence in Gitmo.

Remember, if you aren't pissing yourself in an absolute panic that a criminal might be treated like a criminal, you aren't a real American.

Griper Blade: Lou Dobbs, Unemployed Xenophobe

2009-11-13T11:25:00.000-06:00

He was the finest newsman the world has ever known and now CNN has let him go. The tragedy is nearly inexpressable, but WorldNetDaily founder Joseph Farah gives it a good try:

What makes Lou Dobbs so special is his independence and fearlessness. Dobbs clearly set his own agenda. He had no interest in the "conventional wisdom" of his industry. Dobbs thinks like a real American newsman – a throwback to an age when journalists actually believed they were watchdogs of government and asked tough questions in the interests of the people.

When virtually his entire profession and elites in all the other political and cultural institutions of our time were making excuses for allowing tens of millions of illegal aliens to occupy our country, Lou Dobbs was alone in his focus on the issue critical to America's safety and security.

When virtually his entire profession and elites in all the other political and cultural institutions of our time were making excuses for Barack Obama's unwillingness to prove his constitutional eligibility to serve in the White House by simply showing the American people his long-form birth certificate, Lou Dobbs was alone in asking why.

That's right, Lou Dobbs was the "one reason to tune in to CNN," birther Farah tells us. Joe's a big fan, even offering Lou a job at his big pile of crazy he calls a website. "Let me be the first to say I would be proud to work with Lou Dobbs," Farah writes. "He's got his pick of assignments here at WND."... [CLICK TO READ FULL POST]

News Roundup for 11/12/09

2009-11-12T15:13:00.004-06:00

Lou Dobbs demands to know;
"You want fries with that?"

-Headline of the day-
"John King to Replace Lou Dobbs; Focus Will Be on Political News."

Did you hear that Lou Dobbs quit? Yeah, he did. Or he was fired. Either way, Lou's gone. Now who will warn us about illegal immigrants spreading leprosy, the coming NAFTA Superhighway, or Mexico's secret plan to reconquer the southwestern United States?

Well, not replacement John King, that's for sure. Most will know King as the guy who screws around with the big touchscreen maps on election nights. I guess he also has some weekend show called State of the Union that some people think is kind of important. I can't watch it, because Mary Matalin and James Carville are regular guests; they're married and I can't help but imagine... Well, you know. Spoils the whole thing for me.

Anyway, John's going to spend a few hours screwing around with a touchscreen or something. And Lou's going to cruise around wherever it is he lives and yell, "GO HOME!" out the window at any Mexicans he sees. How good will King's show be? Who cares? Turns out that the entire audience for Lou Dobbs' Immigrant Hate-Fiesta Tonight was some lazy guy who lost his remote and didn't want to get up to change the channel. According to the report, "In moving Mr. King to a weekday time slot, CNN will seek to improve its dismal evening ratings. According to Nielsen, CNN ranked third among cable news channels in the 7 p.m. hour in October, mirroring its other prime-time declines."

So he can't really screw it up any worse. (New York Times)

-Hell freezes over-
Tuesday on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart busted FOX's Sean Hannity and America's favorite rightwing lunatic Michele Bachmann for showing footage of the larger 9/12 rally in DC and claiming it was taken at Shelly's big "We hate healthy Americans!" rally last Thursday. "If I didn't know any better I'd think they just put two days together and acted like they didn't," Stewart said. And then he showed footage showing that, yeah, that's exactly what they did. But this is both Sean Hannity and FOX News, so no big deal, right? I mean, that's just what they do.

Apparently this was too embarrassing even for the shameless Hannity, which explains this:

Holy... WTF? Was that a retraction? I didn't notice any pigs flying by...

Well, not exactly. Sean claims that his show "screwed up" and that the whole thing was just an "inadvertant mistake." Whoopsie-daisy! Accidentally went months back in the video vault and pulled out the wrong footage. Sure, I'll buy that... Just as soon as I finish lobotomizing myself with this here mellonballer.

You were busted Sean, it was a lie. But will you admit it?

Yeah, FOX doesn't do that. (Media Matters)

-Also on Media Matters...-
...they answer the question, "So, what really happened to Lou Dobbs?" with "CNN President Jonathan Klein probably fired his crazy ass."

Then they do a little happy-dance. (Media Matters)

-Bonus HotD-
"Chuck Norris hears black helicopters whupping: Obama planning a 'one world order,' health-care bill means feds invade homes."

Chuck Norris continues to prove that karate is bad for your head with an appearance on FOX's Wingnut Story Time, with Neal Cavuto.

Ok, it works this way. Healthcare reform leads to Obama taking over the world. The end. There's also some shit about global warming and probably Jesus. Chuck Norris says he's "terrified." Most people call that feeling you've got in your head "a big pile of crazy," Chuck.

If he gets any more "terrified," he's going to wind up in a clocktower with a deer rifle. (Crooks And Liars, with video)