Michael-In-Norfolk - - Coming Out In Mid Life

More Friday Male Beauty

2009-11-27T22:43:00.002-05:00

The Purgatory of "Straight" Men Who Have Sex with Men

2009-11-27T22:07:00.004-05:00

One of the wonders of this blog is the opportunity it affords to meet others from all around the world and also those who have traveled parallel journeys with my own, including the stages of denial of one's true sexual orientation and even getting married to a woman in the hope that somehow the unwanted thoughts of other males would cease. Needless to say, the thoughts do not go away and sooner or later one cracks and is forced to face the truth either voluntarily or as a result of an unplanned encounter as was the case with me. One such fellow traveler is Dr. Loren Olson (pictured at left) who is a psychiatrist and blog master of a blog called Magnetic Fire which is aimed at providing LGBT resources for mature gay men, their spouses or ex-spouses, their kids, their extended families, and their counselors and clergy. As I have discovered through this blog there are MANY, MANY men struggling to "come out" in mid-life or otherwise come to terms with the sexuality. Loren has shared with me a piece he wrote that shares some of his own experiences and also looks at the quackery known as reparative therapy. Sexual orientation cannot be changed, but as long as they can make money and dupe politicians the proponents of "ex-gay" therapies will continue to peddle their snake oil. Here is Loren's article (it's long but worth the read):

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The Catechism of the Catholic Church defines purgatory as a final purification necessary to achieve the holiness essential to enter the joy of heaven because, although we may die in God’s grace with our mortal sins forgiven, many impurities may still remain within us.

The entire controversy surrounding ex-gay ministries and reparative therapies unfolded at my last family reunion. Prior to the reunion, I had received a form to update information about my scion of the larger family tree. Adding new grandchildren was easy, but making a decision about whether or not to write “Doug,” on the spouse line proved to be more difficult, even though he’d been my life partner for over 20 years.

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Although my immediate family had been in on my somewhat secret life for most of that time, I could not bring myself to talk about my sexual orientation with the extended family until after my mother’s death. Now that she had passed, I decided it was time. Since I was to give the farewell “message” on Sunday morning, I decided to speak about family secrets: my being gay and my grandfather’s suicide. Breaking the silence on either subject would not have pleased my mother.
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Upon arriving at the reunion, I ran into one of my favorite cousins. I asked her about her family and she told me in Christmas-letter fashion how well two of her children were doing, omitting any mention of her third, a son, so I asked about him. “Oh, he’s in Wichita,” she said. Nothing more. I pressed on. “What’s he doing there?” She looked away from me, and out of the corner of her mouth, she sputtered, “He’s involved in ex-gay ministries.” After regaining my composure, all I could say was, “Tough work.” Spoken almost like half a good bye, she said, “Yes, it is.” We didn’t speak of it again the entire weekend.
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I didn’t need to extend the conversation with her to understand her belief. “The Bible proves that homosexuality is a sin, and only through total surrender to Christ can homosexuals transform themselves into heterosexuals.” I was certain my cousin felt called to lead himself and others out of that “inherently sinful life.”
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I was raised in the less conservative Evangelical Lutheran Church in America -- now faced with the prospect of splitting over the issue of allowing gay and lesbian pastors in committed relationships to serve in the clergy. My mother’s pastor had counseled her that my sexual orientation would send me straight to hell. Although she always loved Doug as a son, until the time of her death, she struggled with the nature of our relationship. Until I was forty, I wrestled with painful internal conflicts about sexual orientation, family and religion.
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“Conversion-Reparative Therapy (CRT)” is any one or a combination of different forms of “treatment” based on religious or psychological concepts, designed to change a person from a primarily homosexual orientation to a primarily heterosexual orientation. The religious approaches are often called “ex-gay ministries,” and the psychological approaches are referred to as “reparative therapy.” They are typically psychoanalytically based, but may also include elements of behavioral and cognitive therapies.
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Discussions about CRT are often quite emotional and polarizing, and generally focus on issues of ethics and effectiveness. All of these interventions have a few things in common:
1. They consider homosexuality pathological and/or sinful
2. They believe homosexuality is a choice
3. They believe that a homosexual orientation can be changed to a heterosexual orientation, or at a minimum, suppressed and controlled.
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Although I am a believer in prayer and healing, I never felt much impact from my mother’s prayers. I left the church for many years because I really couldn’t see much difference when they said they “hated the sin but loved the sinner.” Since being homosexual penetrated every corner of my existence, the sin and the sinner in my mind were indistinguishable. Ex-gay ministries have been plague by the “backsliding” into homosexuality of their leadership, some of whom have gone on to become the most vocal and credible critics of the ministries. Claims of successful conversion are questionable and don’t stand up to rigorous scrutiny.
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For the first time in my adult life, I had sex with a man not long after the Stonewall Rebellion. I was studying psychiatry, and while in training, the American Psychiatric Association moved from labeling homosexuality a “psychopathic deviancy” to eliminating it from their diagnostic manual. But even had it remained a “deviancy,” my transformation into a gay man would have continued. The “reparative therapy” movement claims to be dedicated to “research, therapy and prevention of homosexuality,” all of which suggests that they are scientists studying the “disease’ of homosexuality. It is secular, and because the leaders are a psychologist and a physician, it carries an aura of scientific respectability. But auras are illusions.

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The leaders of the academic-sounding National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) frequently talk about “non-gay homosexuals” and the “gay life style.” They refer to homosexuality as a “neurotic adaptation” related to “reactive detachment” from “smothering mothers and abdicating fathers.” There’s a lot to object to in those references, and a lot has been written to refute it. “Neurotic” is a word which hasn’t been used in psychiatry for over 30 years, for example, and hardly anyone who is not a part of the reparative therapy movements believes that parents made their sons gay.
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Reparative therapy has mischaracterized both same sex and opposite relationships, stating that homosexual relationships are brief, volatile and do not possess “the mature elements of quiet consistency, trust, mutual dependency and sexual fidelity characteristic of highly functioning heterosexual marriages.” Neither my ex-wife nor my husband would recognize this description of our relationships.
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The American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychology Association, the National Association of Social Workers, the American Medical Association, and the American Academy of Pediatrics, all view CRT as unethical because it is based on an unproven theoretical framework, and because the effects of this treatment can be harmful.
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But what about those men in sexual purgatory, not quite straight enough to be heterosexual and not homosexual enough to be gay? And there are a lot of them. The Center for Disease Control (CDC) includes these men with gay men in their category, “Men who have sex with men (MSM).” They recognize there are far more men who have sex with men that just those who define themselves as gay. Uncomfortable with that idea, society as a whole conspires to keep them in a collective closet.
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Talk about African American men on the “down low” caused quite a stir in recent years when awareness was raised about the existence of this phenomenon in the African American community, but it exists in every race and culture, and in particular, those cultures with strong prohibitions against homosexuality.
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Those engaged in CRT use the term “homosexual” rather than “gay,” and by “homosexual” they mean eroticized same sex responsiveness. They only use “gay” to refer to sociopolitical activists who have “adopted a gay lifestyle’ with all the accoutrements of the gay stereotype. The difference is between being gay and doing gay, because they know “being” cannot be fixed but perhaps “doing” can be. They declare their mission is to support those who are unhappy with that “lifestyle” and seek to diminish or eliminate those same sex attractions.
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I lived a good portion of my life caught up in religious dogma as well as in a search for the neurotic explanations for my same sex attractions. What I was not prepared for was to be criticized by some in the gay community as a religiously bigoted, hypocritical, non-self-actualized, self-hating, internalized-homophobic man because I delayed coming out until I was in the middle of my life. Apparently, this large, hidden community of MSM, those “non-gay homosexuals,” is a group which CRT therapists want to cure but also significantly threaten some in the LGBT community.
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Hardly anyone would disagree that the process of coming out is individually quite liberating, described by many as “coming home.” Most of us who have come out understand that coming out is essential for equality and social justice and that people who work against equality while living a secret homosexual existence should be exposed for their hypocrisy.
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But what of those MSM, like Michael, who hosts this blog, and me, who spent years in a kind of sexual purgatory, who, “although imperfectly purified,” are not quite holy enough to enter the either the homosexual kingdom of heaven or heterosexual one? Michael and I, like millions of others, and for a variety of different reasons, gave “the heterosexual lifestyle” a shot. For me, trying to get out of that perdition wasn’t just swimming against a current, it was like trying to climb a waterfall.
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The primary reasons why some gay people wish to “go straight” are related to a fear of family and society’s disapproval and the canons of religious establishments. Were that not difficult enough, these conflicts have been politicized. Through a deliberate mischaracterization of homosexuality and accusing the LGBT community of some non-existent agenda intended to recruit innocent people into the “life style,” organizations like the Family Research Council, the National Organization for Marriage and the Christian Coalition have exaggerated and distorted the issues, extending the time for those stuck in same-sex purgatory.
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Although not born out by the facts, these accusations are repeated as if factual with no concern for their illegitimacy. Through a series of focus groups, they discovered that by promoting the idea children are endangered and that sexual orientation is a choice and changeable, they can convince the homosexually naïve to deny equal rights to lesbians and gays. Working in concert with the ex-gay ministries and reparative therapy, their use of inflammatory speech has recruited membership and milked the best cash cow since threats of communism.
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Over and over I speak with men who well into the middle and even the end of their lives struggle with their sexuality. They say things like, “I love men but I can’t be gay. I love my family/God/sports too much.” Instead of knowing gay men in all of their strength and diversity, they have incorporated an image of the stereotypical gay male exemplified by only a very few.
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Those of us who have come out later in life have an obligation to reach out to those men to show them the true meaning of what it means to be a gay man, but we also need to interpret to those activists in the LGBT community the pain and the struggle responsible for our delayed coming out. We must confront hypocrisy where it is exists while supporting those MSM who have said they are still not ready to live openly as a gay man. Although we do not have a choice about our sexual orientation, we do have control over our value system which dictates how we choose to express it.

Like myself, Loren wants to be a resource to those who are struggling to make the journey we have made to self-acceptance. It is not an easy path and friends along the way make the journey so much more bearable.

Why Did the Vatican Remain Quiet About Sex Abuse of Minors?

2009-11-27T21:07:00.003-05:00

The fall out from the report on sexual abuse by Catholic clergy in Ireland continues to unfold and now the Belfast Telegraph is asking the critical question of why the Vatican remained silent and allowed sexual abuse continue to run rampant. I for one have long believed that the highest levels of the Roman Catholic Church hierarchy knew of the sexual abuse of children and youths by priests but preferred to cover it all up to protect the Church's reputation. Indeed, some past news story have suggested that as far back as the papacy of Pope John XXIII (pictured at right), the Vatican put out a directive that abuse stories were to be covered up and victims and their families made to remain quiet. Obviously, it these stories are accurate, the entire Church leadership is rotten to the core and morally bankrupt. Again, why does anyone listen to anything these nasty old men have to say on anything? Here are highlights from the Belfast Times story:

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Victims campaigners have reacted with anger and disbelief after it emerged the Vatican and papal nuncio in Ireland ignored repeated requests from investigators for information on clerical sexual abuses cases.
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Judge Yvonne Murphy, who carried out a devastating report into clerical sexual abuse within the Dublin Archdiocese, revealed her investigation received no co-operation from the Vatican or its Irish diplomatic representative despite a number of requests.
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John McCourt, who suffered sexual, physical and emotional abuse at the hands of nuns at the Termon Bacca boys’ home in Londonderry for 10 years, said he was disgusted by the level of obstruction those in the higher echelon of the Catholic Church went to and supported calls for inquiries to be held into all the dioceses in Ireland. Mr McCourt said this revelation not only angered him but it also shocked him.
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There have also been calls for inquiries to be held into dioceses throughout Ireland.
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The sad truth is that many in the leadership of the Catholic Church around the world deserve to be behind bars - and unfortunately, that probably includes the current Pope, Benedict XVI. These men are depraved monsters. When I think of the pain and anguish - and yes, suicides - that the Catholic Chuch has caused it literally sickens me.

Did Obama White House Thwart Equal Health Coverage Rights?

2009-11-27T20:41:00.005-05:00

I have written previously abut the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals rulings ordering that court employees be allowed to enroll their same sex partners for health insurance benefits, etc. The Court in effect order the Obama administration to stop impeding the enrollment process. Unfortunately. it appears that the Obama administration is defying the Court's order. It would seem that perhaps the LGBT community's fears are confirmed: Obama never meant a damn thing he said about LGBT equality during the 2008 campaign. I know a growing number of LGBT voters who are so disgusted with Obama's broken promises that they will never vote for him should he run for reelection in 2012. Candidly, I might abstain from voting as well unless Sarah Palin or someone equally mentally disturbed is on the GOP ticket. Michelangelo Signorile has details at The Gist. Here are some highlights:

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A report published on TIME's web site just before the holiday has an explosive bit of information: the chief judge on the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled a while back that a lesbian federal employee who reports to him be given federal marriage benefits, and it was actually going to happen until the White House, through the Office of Personnel Management -- headed by openly gay appointee, John Berry -- refused to comply and directed the health insurance carrier of the employee not to proceed:
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The order was not published, and garnered little or no notice at the time. The Administrative Office of the U.S. Courts moved to comply with the judge's ruling, submitting [federal employee] Golinski's insurance form to Blue Cross Blue Shield, and the case would have probably gone away — had the Obama Administration not stepped in. "After the AO submitted Ms. Golinski's form, I thought this matter had concluded," [Judge] Kozinski wrote. "The Executive Branch, acting through the Office of Personnel Management, thought otherwise. It directed the insurance carrier not to process Ms. Golinski's form 2809, thwarting the relief I had ordered. I must now decide what further steps are necessary to protect Ms. Golinski and the integrity of the Judiciary's EDR [employee dispute resolution] plans."
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Now Judge Kozinkski has ordered that OPM stop interfering, demanding last week that the Obama administration comply with his order: Last week, the chief judge of one of America's most prominent federal courts ordered an Executive Branch agency to stop interfering with a court employee's efforts to secure health insurance coverage for her wife. "The Office of Personnel Management shall cease at once its interference with the jurisdiction of this tribunal," wrote Chief Judge Alex Kozinski of the Ninth Circuit of the U.S. Court of Appeals. He gave the Administration 30 days to permit Karen Golinski, a lawyer employed by the Ninth Circuit, to include the woman she married under California law last year on her family health-insurance plan.
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If the Obama administration, which now has less than 30 days to respond, tries to fight this, not only will it undoubtedly cause another (and much bigger, in my opinion) firestorm within the LGBT community,. . . . And of course, another bombshell here is that the Office of Personnel Management was ordered by the White House to refuse to give a lesbian federal employee her court-ordered rights. John Berry, as head of that office, was thus apparently forced as an openly gay man to deny another gay person, and the LGBT movement itself, of rights, even in the face or a court order.Is this how openly gay appointees must operate within the Obama administration -- not as advocates on behalf of civil rights but rather as lackeys charged with blocking equal rights for their own kind?

Again, it is increasingly important that ALL contributions to the DNC and Obama related campaign funds cease entirely until broken campaign promises are delivered upon. I hate to say it, but it increasingly appears that Obama played the LGBT community for suckers.

Friday Male Beauty

2009-11-27T08:22:00.002-05:00

Dedicated to the Family

More Evidence of American Influence Behind Anti-Gay Actions in Uganda

2009-11-27T07:35:00.006-05:00

Jeff Sharlet, author of The Family: The Secret Fundamentalism at the Heart of American Power, revealed in a radio interview yesterday that The Family, an infamous and influential cadre of religious fundamentalist politicians in Washington D.C., has been funding and influencing many of the major proponents of Uganda’s anti-homosexuality bill. Sharlet was able to trace direct funding from The Family to MP David Bahati as well as find ties between The Family and Nsaba Butoro and even Museveni. In my view, it is critical that more Americans come to recognize the insidious nature of these theocratic politicians and vote them out of office. The Independent has some portions of an interview of interview with Fresh Air’s Terry Gross, in which Sharlet explains the connections between The Family and Uganda and the anti-homosexuality bill. Here are some highlights:

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Mr. SHARLET: Well, the legislator that introduced the bill, a guy named David Bahati, is a member of The Family. He appears to be a core member of The Family. He works, he organizes their Ugandan National Prayer Breakfast and oversees a African sort of student leadership program designed to create future leaders for Africa, into which The Family has poured millions of dollars working through a very convoluted chain of linkages passing the money over to Uganda.
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GROSS: What's the relationship of Museveni and The Family now?
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Mr. SHARLET: It's a very close relationship. He is the key man. Now...
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GROSS: So what does that mean? What influence does The Family have on him?

Mr. SHARLET: It means that they have a deep relationship of what they'll call spiritual counsel, but you're going to talk about moral issues. You're going to talk about political issues. Your relationships are going to be organized through these associates. So Museveni can go to Senator Brownback and seek military aid. Inhofe, as he describes, Inhofe says that he cares about Africa more than any other senator. . . . As we give foreign aid to Uganda, these are the people who are in a position to steer that money. And as Museveni comes over, and as he does and spends time at The Family's headquarters in Arlington, Virginia, a place called The Cedars, and sits down for counsel with Doug Coe, that's where those relationships occur.
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Mr. SHARLET: Well, they began with the issue of economics. I mean, they began as a union-busting organization. That was their first and strongest mission, and for a long time they saw their two goals as economic and in foreign affairs. Something - economically what they, the core members, came to call biblical capitalism, the idea that capitalism is ordained by the Bible in a very sort of deregulated, laissez-faire, privatized market; and foreign affairs, a kind of expansionist view of what might be called a soft empire for America.
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And, as you expand outwards over the last couple decades, and you look at the concerns of politicians like Senator Sam Brownback, Senator Jim Inhofe, Senator Tom Coburn, all these guys who are very involved members -you see homosexuality, you see all the culture-war issues taking a place alongside biblical capitalism and this foreign affairs expansionism, and, in fact, merging in The Family's view into one sort of united world view.
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GROSS: Before we get to the Stupak-Pitts Amendment and its connection to The Family, can you just do a roll call of some of the prominent senators and congressmen who are affiliated with The Family?
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Mr. SHARLET: Yeah. Well, when I first lived with the group, one of the first guys I met was Senator John Ensign, who was then living in a house The Family maintains on Capitol Hill. Senator Sam Brownback spoke with me extensively about his involvement. Senator Jim Inhofe of Oklahoma boasts of traveling around the world, doing The Family's political business. Senator Tom Coburn has done the same thing. Senator Chuck Grassley has been very involved in African affairs on behalf of The Family. Senator Mike Enzi of Wyoming is a part of it.
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Mr. SHARLET: Well, the new [Uganda] legislation adds to this something called aggravated homosexuality. And this can include, for instance, if a gay man has sex with another man who is disabled, that's aggravated homosexuality, and that man can be - I suppose both, actually, could be put to death for this. The use of any drugs or any intoxicants in seeking gay sex - in other words, you go to a bar and you buy a guy a drink, you're subject to the death penalty if you go home and sleep together after that. What it also does is it extends this outward, so that if you know a gay person and you don't report it, that could mean - you don't report your son or daughter, you can go to prison.
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And it goes further, to say that any kind of promotion of these ideas of homosexuality, including by foreigners, can result in prison terms. Talking about same sex-marriage positively can lead you to imprisonment for life. And it's really kind of a perfect case study in the export of a lot of American, largely evangelical ideas about homosexuality exported to Uganda, which then takes them to their logical end.

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In other interviews with Christian right publications, he [Senator Coburn] said, I use my role as a U.S. senator to open the doors to power. In other words, he presents himself as representing the United States. He also, frankly, is flying into these countries on military transport, and he is this powerful U.S. senator.
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GROSS: What's your concern here? If members of Congress or senators are traveling, funded by The Family, to go abroad and promote issues of concern to The Family, is there anything wrong with that?
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Mr. SHARLET: Yeah. There's something wrong with it. A lot of that kind of travel is illegal under the 2007 Open Government Act, which was passed in response to the Abramoff scandal, especially when you look at some of these trips that would be sponsored by one nonprofit entity under The Family's umbrella, but taken at the behest of another organization like Christian Embassy, another sort of Christian right ministry in Washington for elites.
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Personally, I find all of this VERY frightening. The so-called Family needs to be stopped and its export of hate and bigotry brought to an end. If you are interested knowing more about The Family, their ideology and their foreign policy influence around the globe read the full transcript from the Fresh Air interview.

A Worthy Description of Limbaugh and Beck

2009-11-27T04:28:00.000-05:00

I saw this on Zigar's blog and thought it was a wonderful description of Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Back - two of the far right's biggest truth challenged demagogues. These men truly care nothing about truth and honesty or the potential for violence they encourage among the lunatic fringe of the GOP base. (Click image for larger view)

Damning Report Released in Ireland on Catholic Church Sex Abuse Cover Ups.

2009-11-26T17:38:00.004-05:00

The preliminary portions of the much anticipated government report on the Catholic Church's sexual abuse scandal in the Diocese of Dublin, Ireland was released today and The Irish Times is full of related stories on the horrific abuse - which was deliberately covered up by the Church hierarchy (including 1 cardinal, 3 archbishops and at least 6 bishops: the cardinal and archbishops are pictured at right) for over three decades. While the Catholic Church pretends that it is the arbiter of morality in the USA, the report details reveal the actual moral bankruptcy and depravity of the Church leadership. As I have stated before, the bishops and cardinals involved, if still living, deserve to be facing criminal prosecution and prison time. While the Church claims that full civil equality for gays threatens marriage and society, it would seem the Church itself and its unrepentant leadership - and that includes Pope Benedict XVI - are a far greater menace. Here are some highlights:

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The Commission of Investigation into Dublin’s Catholic Archdiocese has concluded that there is “no doubt” that clerical child sexual abuse was covered up by the archdiocese and other Church authorities. The commission’s report covers the period between January 1st 1975 and April 30th 2004. It said there cover-ups took place over much of this period.
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In its report, published this afternoon, it has also found that “the structures and rules of the Catholic Church facilitated that cover-up.” It also found that “the State authorities facilitated the cover-up by not fulfilling their responsibilities to ensure that the law was applied equally to all and allowing the Church institutions to be beyond the reach of the normal law enforcement processes.”
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Where individual Archbishops of Dublin were concerned it found that Archbishop John Charles McQuaid - who held office from 1940 to 1972 - did not apply canon law where such allegations were concerned, though he was familiar with its requirements.
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Archbishop Dermot Ryan - who held office from 1972 to 1984 - “failed to properly investigate complaints” against any of the six priests dealt with by the Commission from his period in office. “He also ignored the advice given by a psychiatrist in the case of another priest (Fr Henry Moore) that he had placed in a parish setting.” It found that Fr Moore was subsequently convicted of a serious assault on a young teenager while working as a parish curate. Archbishop Ryan also seemed to have adopted “a deliberate policy” to ensure that knowledge of problems involving accused priests “was as restricted as possible.”
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Archbishop Kevin McNamara - who held office from 1984 to 1987 - restored to ministry a priest, Fr Bill Carney, despite his having pleaded guilty to charges of child sex abuse in 1983 and despite suspicions about him where “numerous” other children were concerned.
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Cardinal Desmond Connell, who held office as Archbishop from 1988 to April 2004, “was slow to recognise the seriousness of the situation” on assuming office. He was “over-reliant” on the advice of other people. While “clearly appalled by the abuse” it took him some time “to realize that it could not be dealt with by keeping it secret and protecting priests from normal civil processes.” He showed “little understanding of the overall plight of victims”
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Yet another Irish Times story reveals that the Church knowingly used a 'don't ask, don't tell' approach caring more about the Church's image rather than the welfare of children and youths. As a parent, I cannot comprehend how this false men of God could be so uncaring and callous - it's another argument for married priests because I doubt someone with children of their own could have been so uncaring. Here are more highlights from the report via the Irish Times:

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The pre-occupations of the Dublin Archdiocese in dealing with cases of child sexual abuse, at least until the mid 1990s, were the “maintenance of secrecy, the avoidance of scandal, the protection of the reputation of the Church and the preservation of its assets”, the Murphy commission has said.
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It says the American phrase “don’t ask, don’t tell” was appropriate to describe the attitude of the Dublin Archdiocese to clerical sex abuse for most of the period covered by the report. There was an “obsessive concern with secrecy and the avoidance of scandal” and successive Archbishops and bishops failed to report complaints to the gardai prior to 1996.
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Many of the auxiliary bishops also knew of the fact of abuse as did officials, including Monsignor Gerard Sheehy and Monsignor Alex Stenson who worked in the Chancellery. Bishop James Kavanagh, Bishop Dermot O’Mahony, Bishop Laurence Forristal, Bishop Donal Murray and Bishop Brendan Comiskey were aware for many years of complaints and/or suspicions of clerical child sexual abuse in the Archdiocese. Religious orders were also aware.
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“There is no doubt that the reaction of the Church authorities to reports of clerical child sexual abuse in the early years of the commission’s remit was to ensure that as few people as possible knew of the individual priest’s problem. “There was little or no concern for the welfare of the abuse child or for the welfare of other children who might come into contact with the priest. Complainants were often met with denial, arrogance and cover-up and with incompetence and incomprehension in some cases. Suspicions were rarely acted on.”
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“The Archbishops, bishops and other officials cannot claim that they did not know that child sexual abuse was a crime. As citizens of the State, they have the same obligations as all other citizens to uphold the law and report serious crimes to the authorities.”

Since the findings in Ireland appear to mirror much of what is known to have occurred in dioceses across the USA, why is anyone listening to the Church on any moral issues? The Washington, D.C., City Council needs to ignore the Church's disingenuous whining on the issue of same sex marriage. As should the U.S. Congress in the context of health care reform. The Roman Catholic Church should be given no deference or respect until the hierarchy is totally cleansed of those in anyway involved in the cover up of sexual abuse crimes against children and youths - something that would likely wipe out large numbers of bishops and members of the College of Cardinals as well as the current Pope.

More Thanksgiving Male Beauty

2009-11-26T10:19:00.002-05:00

50 U.S. Catholic Dioceses Contributed To Maine Marriage Battle

2009-11-26T09:12:00.003-05:00

Anyone who doesn't believe that the Roman Catholic Church has become a leader in anti-gay discrimination and supporter of intertwining religion and the civil laws need only read this article at the National Catholic Reporter that looks at Catholic contributions for the effort to deprive Maine residents of marriage equality. I believe that it is increasingly import for those of us raised in Catholic families to engage in conversations with family members urging them to stop donating money to the Catholic Church. If some of the elderly like my own mother want to attend mass, that's fine - just do NOT put money in the collection basket. Better yet, as mentioned on a past post on PHB, instead of money, put a note in the collection envelop explaining why no money is enclosed in light of the Church's jihad against LGBT family members. More than anything else, the Catholic Church worships money. We need to hit them where it really counts. Here are some highlights from the NCR story (the full list of contributions can be viewed here):

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After Portland, Maine, the largest diocesan contributors were the Philadelphia archdiocese and Phoenix diocese, each giving $50,000. The sees of Newark, N.J., St. Louis, Mo., and Youngstown, Ohio, each contributed $10,000. The Diocesan Assistance Fund of Providence, R.I., gave $10,000.00. Contributing $5,000 were the dioceses of Arlington, Va., Rockford, Ill., Crookston, Minn., and Pittsburgh, Pa. The Roman Catholic Foundation in the Archdiocese of Baltimore, Inc. donated $2,500. Contributing $2,000 were the diocese of Portland, Ore., Jefferson City, Mo., Savannah, Ga., and the archdiocese of New Orleans. The Columbus, Ohio, diocese gave $1,500. Contributing $1,000 were the archdioceses of Cincinnati, Ohio, Hartford, Hartford, Conn., and Atlanta, Ga., and the dioceses of Fort Worth, Texas, Green Bay, Wis., Ft. Wayne-South Bend, Ind., Baton Rouge, La., Colorado Springs, Colo., Gary, Ind., Parma, Ohio, Erie, Pa., Joliet, Ill., Grand Island, Nebr., and the Diocesan Center for Family Life, Jacksonville, Fla.
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The financial report says the bishop of Fall River, Mass., donated $5,000; the archbishop of Mobile, Ala., gave $2,000, and the bishops of Wheeling-Charleston, W.Va., Louisville, Ky., and Springfield, Mass., each donated $1,000. Individual bishops were named in the financial report. Giving $1,000 were Richard Lennon of Cleveland, Ohio, and William Lori of Bridgeport, Conn. Giving $500 were Herbert Brevard of St. Thomas, Virgin Islands, and John D'Arcy of Fort Wayne, Ind. Giving $250 were Jose Gomez of San Antonio, Texas, and John LeVoir of New Ulm, Minn. Joseph Kurtz of Louisville, Ky., gave $200.

The anti-family Knights of Columbus - which has never demanded accountability from the Church hierarchy in respect to the cover ups of sexual abuse of minors - donated $50,000.00.

The Pilgrim's Gift of Religious Discrimination

2009-11-26T08:49:00.005-05:00

I have often found it worse than ironic that many who came to the New World in search of religious freedom immediately set up shop and began their own agendas of religious persecution and discrimination against others, not the least of whom were native Americans who frequently had a totally different view towards sexual orientation not having been previously cursed with the handful of Bible passages that have triggered so much hate, bigotry and suffering for LGBT individuals over the last two millennia. Rev. Irene Monroe (at right) - another fellow LGBT Blogger Summit attendee I was privileged to meet last year - has an interesting piece at Pam's House Blend that looks at the history of religious based discrimination brought to the New World by those who wanted religious freedom for themselves. Specifically, the discrimination faced by Native Americans. Indeed, hypocrisy has a long history among the self-proclaimed Christians in America. Here are a few highlights:

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As a time of connectedness, I pause to acknowledge what I have to be thankful for. But I also reflect on the holiday as a time of remembrance - historical and familial. Historically, I am reminded that for many Native Americans, Thanksgiving is not a cause of celebration, but rather a National Day of Mourning, remembering the real significance of the first Thanksgiving in 1621 as a symbol of persecution and genocide of Native Americans and the long history of bloodshed with European settlers. I am also reminded of my Two-Spirit Native American brothers and sisters who struggle with their families and tribes not approving of their sexual identities and gender expressions as many of us do with our families and faith communities.
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But homophobia is not indigenous to Native American culture. Rather, it is one of the many devastating effects of colonization and Christian missionaries that today Two-Spirits may be respected within one tribe yet ostracized in another. "Homophobia was taught to us as a component of Western education and religion," Navajo anthropologist Wesley Thomas has written. "We were presented with an entirely new set of taboos, which did not correspond to our own models and which focused on sexual behavior rather than the intricate roles Two-Spirit people played. As a result of this misrepresentation, our nations no longer accepted us as they once had."
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Traditionally, Two-Spirits symbolized Native Americans' acceptance and celebration of diverse gender expressions and sexual identities. They were revered as inherently sacred because they possessed and manifested both feminine and masculine spiritual qualities that were believed to bestow upon them a "universal knowledge" and special spiritual connectedness with the "Great Spirit." Although the term was coined in the early 1990s, historically Two-Spirits depicted transgender Native Americans. Today, the term has come to also include lesbian, gay, bisexual, and intersex Native Americans.
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The Pilgrims, who sought refuge here in America from religious persecution in their homeland, were right in their dogged pursuit of religious liberty. But their actual practice of religious liberty came at the expense of the civil and sexual rights of Native Americans. And the Pilgrims' animus toward homosexuals not only impacted Native American culture, but it also shaped Puritan law and theology.
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Here in the New England states, the anti-sodomy rhetoric had punitive if not deadly consequences for a newly developing and sparsely populated area. The Massachusetts Bay Code of 1641 called for the death of not only heretics, witches and murderers, but also "sodomites," stating that death would come swiftly to any "man lying with a man as with a woman." And the renowned Puritan pastor and Harvard tutor, the Rev. Samuel Danforth in his 1674 "fire and brimstone" sermon preached to his congregation that the death sentence for sodomites had to be imposed because it was a biblical mandate.
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As we get into the holiday spirit, let us remember the whole story of the arrival of the Pilgrims and other European settlers to the New World. . . . And in so doing, it helps us to remember, respect, mourn and give thanks to the struggles not only our LGBTQ foremothers and forefathers endured, but also the ongoing struggle our Native American Two-Spirit brothers and sisters face everyday - and particularly on Thanksgiving Day.

Thanksgiving Male beauty

2009-11-26T08:47:00.003-05:00

Families of Military Suicides Seek White House Condolences

2009-11-26T08:04:00.003-05:00

As one who lived through the Vietnam War era, I lost two friends - their family owned the summer home next to ours - who had served in the Army and came back home seriously disturbed emotionally by what they had experienced to the point that they took their own lives. A cousin also served as an Army Captain and volunteered as a nurse in Vietnam. While she never took her own life, her war experience changed her and she was never the again the happy free spirit she once had been. The two brothers who killed themselves were as much war casualties as if they had died on the battlefield. More recently, one of my clients feared for her husband who had done six tours in Iraq and Afghanistan with the Navy special forces. So far, he seems to have rebounded, but the horrors will never leave him. Yet even today, survivors of war related military suicides do not receive the standard condolences from the commander in chief. It is a sad commentary that these other war casualties are denied recognition since most would be alive but for their military service and the horrors they witnessed. The New York Times has a story today that looks at this issue. Here are some highlights:

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Since at least the time of Abraham Lincoln, presidents have sent letters of condolence to the families of service members killed in action, whether the deaths came by hostile fire or in an accident. So after his son killed himself in Iraq in June, Gregg Keesling expected that his family would receive a letter from President Obama. What it got instead was a call from an Army official telling family members that they were not eligible because their son had committed suicide.
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The roots of that policy, which has been passed from administration to administration via White House protocol officers, are murky and probably based in the view that suicide is not an honorable way to die, administration and military officials say. . . . But at a time when the Pentagon is trying to destigmatize mental health care in hopes of stemming a near epidemic of suicide among service members, the question of whether the survivors of military suicides deserve presidential recognition has taken on new significance.
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“These families already feel such shame and so alienated from the military and the country, a letter from the president might give them some comfort, some sense that people recognize their sacrifice,” said Kim Ruocco, director for suicide support for Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, or TAPS, a military support group. “What better way to eliminate stigma?”
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Through October, the Army, which far and away leads the armed forces in suicides, reported 133 among active-duty soldiers, putting it on pace to surpass last year’s record, 140. The Marine Corps, which has the second-largest number, is also likely to have more suicides than last year, 42. . . . the Army is trying to soften the longstanding sense that psychological problems are a sign of frailty. “We have to reduce the stigma surrounding seeking mental health help,” Gen. Peter W. Chiarelli, the Army vice chief of staff, said this year. “Getting help for emotional problems should be as natural as seeking help for a sprained ankle.”
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After Gregg Keesling’s son, Chancellor, shot himself in a latrine on June 19, the family received a folded flag, a letter from the Army praising their son, a rifle salute at his burial and financial death benefits. But he views the letter of condolence as an important step toward reducing the shame and guilt many survivors feel. Hours before Chancellor, a 25-year-old specialist, killed himself, he had argued with his girlfriend over the phone and then sent a rambling, despondent e-mail message home.
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“I can’t explain how ashamed i am i said some things out of anger,” he wrote. “I can’t cope without each and every one of you there by me the whole way. I feel alone and unappreciated for some odd reason this deployment is ending up to be like the last i thought about killing myself and went to the porti john and chambered a round into my m4 but decided not to pull the trigger. I realize i need help and i need to have family put first. Please forgive me and except my apology.” About 17 hours later, he was dead.
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“My last words to my son were, ‘Be a man and get through it,’ ” Mr. Keesling said, recalling one of dozens of frantic phone calls to Iraq in the hours before Chancellor’s death. “I was the stupid dad. If my son had said, ‘Dad, I’ve broken my leg, I can’t go on,’ I would have understood. But I didn’t understand the mental health side.”
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As one who has contemplated and attempted suicide, I believe that the stigma of seeking mental health care must be diminished. Not only within the LGBT community that suffers from so much discrimination and family rejection, but across the spectrums of society. No one should be pushed to the point where all they can think of is the need to make the pain/loneliness/alienation stop.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-26T07:46:00.003-05:00

After a rainy week, we finally have sunshine and today bodes to be a nice day weather wise. The boyfriend and I will have dinner at the home of his niece and her husband along with a gathering of other family members. Most of my family will gather at my sister's home in Charlottesville, while my daughters will also be in Charlottesville at the home of one of my former sisters-in-law. I will do my best to not dwell on my two older children's abandonment of me. Fortunately, the boyfriend's family is very accepting of me, including his remarkable father, a retired Baptist minister who greeted me with "welcome to the family" the first time we meet each other.*
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I hope all readers celebrating the holiday today will have a wonderful day with family and/or friends. I know several gay friends having events at their homes for those in the LGBT community who have been rejected by their families and who have nowhere to go for the holiday dinner. Ironically, its often the gays who act more Christian to others than the self-proclaimed "godly Christians."

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The photo above is of Berkeley Plantation west of Williamsburg, site of the actual first Thanksgiving before the claim was usurped by the Pilgrims: Historians have also recorded other ceremonies of thanks among European settlers in North America, including British colonists in Berkeley Plantation, Virginia. At this site near the Charles River in December of 1619, a group of British settlers led by Captain John Woodlief knelt in prayer and pledged "Thanksgiving" to God for their healthy arrival after a long voyage across the Atlantic. This event has been acknowledged by some scholars and writers as the official first Thanksgiving among European settlers on record.

More Wednesday Male Beauty

2009-11-25T23:13:00.001-05:00

When an American Idol Meets Homophobia

2009-11-25T22:41:00.003-05:00

There has been a great deal of chatter in the blogosphere and on various news outlets about Adam Lambert's apparently impromptu kiss of a male keyboard player during the American Music Awards earlier this week (pictured at right). Sadly, I tend to agree with Lambert who believes that the reaction to the kiss is a case of a double standard: its fine two show two women kissing - e.g., Madonna and Britney Spears- but if the kiss involves two guys, the self-anointed and sanctimonious go berserk. Worse yet, a lame ABC News caves in and cancels Lambert's appearance on Good Morning America. Truth be told, the Christianists and those who are afraid of offending Christianist sensibilities want gays to simply disappear and become invisible. I'm sorry, but my attitude is that they can go f*ck themselves. We gays have been present since the earliest times in recorded history and we are NOT going away or going to hide any longer. From Classical Greece through Hellenistic times, same sex relationships were considered normal. Indeed, many of the writings of Classical Greek writers extol the virtues of same sex love and it was expected that young men have male lovers. Here are some highlights from a Newsweek story that looks at the controversy and the unequal treatment afforded gay males:

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When Star Trek's Captain Kirk kissed the lovely Lieutenant Uhura onscreen in 1968, for what is thought to be the first black and white kiss on American TV, it was involuntary—telekinesis made them do it. Whoops! (Haven't we all been there?). It was the best way to get it past the network censors of course, because a white man kissing a black woman simply because he or she wanted to would have been far too provocative.
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When former American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert kissed his male keyboard player on the American Music Awards on Sunday night, he too claims it was not premeditated but "in the moment."
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This was an openly gay man kissing another man on television. ABC received 1,500 complaints and promptly canceled a performance that Lambert was due to give on Good Morning America Wednesday. He did not suffer due to ABC's timidity, as CBS snapped him up immediately.
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ABC said it was too early in the morning for viewers to be exposed to "controversial" raunch like that. Now there are many things I don't like seeing early in the morning. Sweaty joggers, dirty nappies, trash cans emptied on the sidewalk, too-bright sunlight, and plastic, hole-punched footwear. Even, or perhaps especially, people who are cheerful and talk too much.
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But two men locking lips? Even daytime soap operas have featured gay and lesbian kisses. Haven't we seen this all before? In 2003, Madonna kissed Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera—and these starlets were not just the same sex as Madonna but much younger as well.
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So let's be clear: a girl kissing a boy is romance, a girl kissing a girl is titillation, and a boy kissing a boy is a controversial act of perversion? What do people think gay men actually do when they like each other? . . . [T]his whole episode is surely another illustration of the generational divide in attitudes to homosexuality. I doubt the people dialing the ABC complaints line on Sunday night were spring chickens. A 2009 CNN/Opinion Research Corp. poll found 58 percent of people aged 18–34 thought gay marriage should be legal, compared to 24 percent of those over 65. And young people were very cranky Tuesday: on Twitter, the hashtag "#ShameOnYouABC" started by blogger and gay activist Perez Hilton, was receiving roughly 3,000 comments per hour all afternoon. That's double the total number of phone calls ABC received—every hour.

The Los Angeles Times also looks at the controversy and the double standard applied to gays versus female singers/performers.

Former Airline Exec Starts Upscale Gay Tour Company

2009-11-25T22:03:00.004-05:00

I have done a post or two before about my friend Jeff Ward (pictured at right) and the gay tour company he has started called Savvy Navigator .

Jeff and his husband, Michael Klein are great guys and their wedding reception back in 2005 in Washington, DC, was fabulous not the least because Michael produces What Not to Wear and While You Were Out for TLC and the casts from both shows were at the reception. Now, Passport Magazine has a tremendous profile on Jeff and his company. While I will not be able to afford one of his tours anytime soon, I am sure that it would be an experience of a lifetime. For more information on upcoming trips to South Africa, Argentina and Costa Rica, check things out here. Meanwhile, here are some highlights from the Passport Magazine story:

In the autumn of 2006, Jeffrey Ward began planning a party that would change his life. Well, change his life again. For several years, Ward, who today operates the niche gay travel company Savvy Navigator (www.savvynavigator.com), had been dealing with unexpected turbulence.
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Ward eventually took a buyout from American and started his own small executive coaching business, Northward Leadership & Development. It seemed like a logical move, “I’d spent twelve years climbing the corporate ladder, but really loving my work every single day. I never understood people who hated going to work, who felt victimized by their careers or their jobs. I felt passionate about helping people close the gap between where they are and where they want to be.”
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Which brings us back to that life-changing party. “Michael was going to turn 40 in April 2007, and we decided to have a big celebration with about 25 friends and family in Cape Town, South Africa. It’s a place we love. We’d been there together several times, including for our honeymoon after getting married at Toronto City Hall in 2004.
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Ward ended his husband’s South African birthday extravaganza with a new beginning for himself. At a debrief following his meticulously planned group adventure, Ward began to brainstorm business opportunities with Southern Destinations, the company he’d used on the ground in Cape Town to help coordinate guides, lodges, and activity providers for his clan. “I realized that using my connections, I could put together Abercrombie & Kent-style itineraries for about half their price. I started mulling it over and thought this could be enormously appealing to a segment of the gay North American audience.”
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Ward, whose well-heeled guests tend to range in age from 35 to 55, notes that just because one no longer wants to flop in hostels or schlep a backpack doesn’t mean limiting one’s self to the generic five-star chic of giant hotels that may feel no different whether you’re in Brazil or Bombay. “These are first class trips,” he notes (Savvy Navigator tours run from $4,000 to $6,000 per person), “but if you’re paying for me to arrange your vacation, I want to deliver an experience you probably couldn’t put together on your own. So many tour companies, gay and straight, use the same vendors and go to the same places. Savvy Navigator is not going to take you to a restaurant where you’ll turn around and see another group of tourists. I’m taking these trips with my groups, and they get the kind of inspiring, immersive vacation that Michael and I like to take ourselves.”
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For independent-minded travelers a bit leery of traveling in a group, Ward stresses that Savvy Navigator tours are limited to twelve guests. “My typical guest is a gay man, generally north of 40, traveling with a couple of friends. It’s about 50/50 singles and couples, and we try to avoid charging single supplements whenever we can.”
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Clearly, Ward has found a viable niche. One unexpected revenue stream for Savvy Traveler has resulted from word-of-mouth. “I was getting calls from people who heard about their friends’ experiences on my trips but whose vacation schedules didn’t allow them to travel when I had a tour going. So I started offering customized trips for couples, using a lot of the same locations. Because of my relationships with these great accommodations and guides who are genuinely gay-friendly, I’ve been able to arrange amazing gay honeymoon trips to South Africa. And there are even some hip straight people who’ve heard about us and asked me to make plans for them.”

Wednesday Male Beauty

2009-11-25T08:04:00.001-05:00

Clergy Abuse Victims Criticize Rhode Island Bishop

2009-11-25T07:49:00.003-05:00

As is sadly the norm, members of the Roman Catholic hierarchy are much more interested in harrassing Catholics who fail to toe the line on the Church's mandated Midieval dogma than they are in cleaning their own festering house or atoning for the massive sexual abuse scandal. Hypocrisy, dishonesty and pompousness seem to be the leading prerequisites nowadays for appointment as a bishop or Cardinal under Pope Palpatine. A case in point is Rhode Island Bishop Thomas Tobin who has the time to harass Congressman Patrick Kennedy but not enough time - or concern it would seem - to deal with abuse victims. I continue to ask myself why anybody who has not had a lobotomy continues to listen to the morally bankrupt Church hierarchy. Here are some story highlights from the Washington Post:

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PROVIDENCE, R.I. -- Clergy sex abuse victims and their supporters said Tuesday that Rhode Island's Roman Catholic bishop is not doing enough to protect children from pedophile priests even as he's taken on Democratic Rep. Patrick Kennedy for his stance on abortion rights.
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A small group of protesters gathered outside Bishop Thomas Tobin's office in Providence two days after news broke that the bishop had asked Kennedy in 2007 not to take Holy Communion because he supports abortion rights.
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"He claims that it's important that we protect the unborn. But it's equally as important to protect those who have been born and those young children who have been raped and sodomized by clerics and priests. But yet he seems to protect those clerics," said Ruth Moore, of Hull, Mass.
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The group called on Tobin to publish the names of priests from the diocese who have been convicted of or admitted molesting children, or if a thorough investigation has turned up credible evidence of child molestation, even if no conviction resulted.
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Such a list could help parents keep their children away from molesters and help employers screen potential hires, the protesters said. Skip Shea, from Uxbridge, Mass., who was abused by a priest as a child, told of seeing his abuser working next to the children's section in a bookstore as he awaited trial for abusing children.

Bill Nash of the Survivors Network of Those Abused by Priests called on Tobin to use his authority as a spiritual figurehead to protect children. "There are a lot of moral issues that he has to take leadership in, and the protection of children is a very important and critical area of moral leadership that he should be taking a more proactive stand with," Nash said.

Wall Street Thanksgiving

2009-11-25T07:45:00.003-05:00

Sadly, average Americans were not invited to the table.

About 22% of Mortgages in Hampton Roads are 'Underwater'

2009-11-25T06:55:00.003-05:00

Congress and the Obama administration can talk all they want about the recession easing but as long as the real estate industry remains crippled and families are faced with negative equity in their homes, the economy will NOT really rebound. Banks have been bailed out to the tune of billions of dollars, yet they are not passing that benefit on to homeowners in the form of loan modifications and work outs or new lending. The result is that more and more homes go into foreclosure and families file for bankruptcy.

Equally bad, it has become so difficult the secure larger loans that houses over $350,000 to $500,000 that that segment of the market remains utterly dead. Combined with crushing medical costs and it is a recipe for continued economic disaster. Particularly hard hit are military families that bought homes using VA loans who put little or no money down at the time of purchase. I began a mantra that "it's the real estate market stupid" back in mid-2007 yet little has changed, Any current "surge" in home sales remains a trickle compared to a few years ago and is focused on lower end homes being acquired by first time buyers out to take advantage of the tax credit being offered. Until the banks begin loaning money in a serious manner again, do not expect the economy to recover. Here are highlights from the Virginian Pilot:
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More than 71,500 homeowners in Hampton Roads owed more on their mortgages than the homes were worth at the end of September, according to a report released Tuesday. That's nearly one in four local mortgage borrowers -22 percent - who are "underwater" on the loans, according to First American CoreLogic, which is based in Santa Ana, Calif., and tracks mortgages across the country.
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"Things have not gotten better," said Vinod B. Agarwal, an economist at Old Dominion University. "But things have not gotten much worse." Homeowners who purchased at the peak of the local housing boom, especially with little or no down payment or an interest-only loan, are the most susceptible to finding themselves underwater in a loan. Falling home values can erode any equity homeowners have in a newly purchased or refinanced home.
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Economists and real estate experts say that owing more on a home than it's worth is one of the most common precursors to foreclosure. Bank repossessions and foreclosure auctions in Hampton Roads have remained at high levels in recent months, and First American's report indicates foreclosure activity could grow, dampening the prospects of a quick housing recovery.
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Across the country, nearly 10.7 million homeowners - or 23 percent - owe more than their homes are worth, First American reported. The majority of such negative-equity mortgages are in states such as Nevada, Arizona, Florida, Michigan and California.
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Indicative of how bad things are, I received a holiday party invitation yesterday from a law firm specializing in bankruptcy work. Why? Because I have referred them so many clients in the last year. Outside of bankruptcy and foreclosure work, the legal industry is suffering severely too.

More Tuesday Male Beauty

2009-11-24T23:03:00.003-05:00

Called to Serve - Unless You're Gay

2009-11-24T22:40:00.003-05:00

The Advocate has an interesting story written by Christopher Landavazo (shown in the picture at right by Adam Bouska), a former member of the U. S. Navy who served with distinction, yet who cannot re-enlist if he reveals that he's gay. Meanwhile, of course, the military is recruiting gang members, convicted felons, and those lacking a high school diploma. The juxtaposition shows the ludicrous results of Don't Ask, Don't Tell ("DADT") which serves no purpose other than to further the agenda of Christianists who want LGBT Americans to continue to face religious based discrimination and inferior treatment as U.S. citizens. All so the Uber-Christians can feel superior and self-satisfied. The policy is a travesty. Here are some highlights from Christopher's article:

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On May 13, 1996, I raised my right hand, took a solemn oath to “support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies foreign and domestic,” and bore “truth, faith, and allegiance to the same.” With those words I began my journey of public service as a sailor in the United States Navy.
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More that a decade has passed since then, and although I upheld that oath, and wish to serve and protect my country again, I am now being rejected simply because I’m honest about who I am. The United States military desperately needs trained, dedicated personnel like me, but like many of my fellow LGBT patriots, I am denied that right under the bigoted and outdated policy of “don’t ask, don’t tell.”
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In the Navy I became an air traffic controller -- a job only a select few are suited for due to the high stress. My experience fashioned me into a self-motivated, highly dedicated, and disciplined team player and I rose in rank from E-1 (Seaman Recruit) to E-6 (Petty Officer 1st Class) in less than five years of service. Throughout my eight-year military career, I sought out and held several positions that were normally reserved for personnel of higher rank, including air transportation officer (ATO) aboard the forward deployed, Japan-based carriers USS Independence and USS Kitty Hawk, and base operations chief at the Naval Air Station in Point Mugu, Calif. In both positions I was responsible for the safety and security of many people, and I was entrusted with millions of dollars in equipment. As a result of my leadership abilities I became a highly decorated sailor and had earned letters of recommendation that would prompt my selection to become a naval aviation officer.
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Although I was fortunate in that I was never dismissed from the military like Lt. Col. Victor Fehrenbach or Lt. Dan Choi, I did ultimately become a victim of DADT. Five years into my military enlistment I reached a crossroads and would be forced to choose between my dream of becoming a naval aviator and a chance to find true love, have a family, and live a full life. I had applied for the Aviation Enlisted Commissioning Program (AECP) and was one of three candidates selected Navy-wide to enter this highly competitive flight program.
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I had worked so hard to fulfill that dream of flying, but taking that opportunity would have meant denying myself love, a family, and equality. I left the military very reluctantly to become a police officer in Ventura -- and elected to serve my country further in the Naval Reserves. My next eight years would become a time of intense personal leadership development, community activism, civic engagement, and a return to active duty.
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The tragic events of 9/11 transpired while I was in the Ventura County Sheriff’s Academy. I had completed the academy and patrol training when suddenly I was called back to active duty. I was stationed at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, and was utilized for force protection for almost a year. Upon completion of my second tour of duty I was honorably discharged from military service and returned home to Ventura.
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I am deeply offended that our leaders in government, who have also taken an oath to support and defend the Constitution of the United States, can sleep nights knowing that DADT continues to blatantly violate the ideals and values of equality and justice we hold so scared and consider to be fundamental to being Americans. . LGBT service members have always been there and always will be there to serve our country. It is time for our government to recognize our sacrifices and celebrate our service as openly gay members of the military by repealing DADT. I am a firm believer in calling for action within the LGBT community in furtherance of helping to give incentive to our current administration and our elected leaders to move quickly with the repeal of DADT. . .
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The sad truth is that much needed talent is being wasted daily for the sole purpose of allowing bigots like Elaine Donnelly to have orgasms at the thought of gays and lesbians being ejected from the military. It is disgusting and un-American.

Is Outing Catholic Priests a Fair Game at Churchouting.org?

2009-11-24T22:03:00.005-05:00

I recently did a post about a new organization called ChurchOuting.org which seeks to "out" closeted Roman Catholic priests who participate in the Catholic Church's jihad against LGBT citizens and same sex marriage in particular. The group and its goals have created a great deal of discussion as to whether or not such outings are appropriate and whether the threat of outing is a form of blackmail. As I indicated previously, I support the effort to take the battle to the Church's doorstep if you will. In agreement with me is fellow Bilerico blogger, Father Tony, a self described "Roman Catholic priest who has been on an extended vacation from that vocation for many years." Here are some highlights from Father Tony's take on the issue:

There is nothing mean-spirited in churchouting. It isn't even anti-Catholic. It is the creation of Phil Attey, a man who cares deeply about his Catholic Church, and one who could have become a leader in that church had he been able to stomach the hypocrisy of teaching his flock that gay sex is evil and had he been attracted to the downlow lifestyle of the gay Catholic clergy
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If you are not a Roman Catholic, you probably wonder why a gay priest, bishop, cardinal or pope would be so two-faced. Chalk it up to guilt and self-loathing, and don't underestimate the power of security and status. At the age of forty or fifty, he realizes that there are almost no career options available to him that would afford him the same level of public authority and the same level of institutional security. He is not inclined to sacrifice the accomplishments of a lifetime on behalf of gay men who give themselves license to live the life he would not allow himself to enjoy.
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If a gay priest, bishop, cardinal or pope simply remained silent about the Catholic Church's anti-gay stance, we could almost respect his double life. Almost. Initiating a well-funded anti-gay campaign changes this entirely and makes gay Catholic clergy fair game for those who can and now should out them.
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If you know a Catholic priest who is gay, use this site to out him. You will actually be doing him a favor by freeing him from his secret shame. Once all the gay priests are pried out of their closets, it will be obvious to the bishops that unless they are willing to lose the majority of their workforce, their absurd homophobia must end.

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On the other end of the spectrum is Father Geoff Farrow who spoke out against Proposition 8 and was rewarded by being removed from his post by his supervising bishop. Fr. Geoff does not support outing closeted priests:
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What would happen to any Catholic priest who signed a public declaration which is directly opposed to the teachings of the hierarchy of the Church? Once it came to the attention of his (Arch) bishop, the priest would be required to publicly retract his statement and publicly apologize for having made such a statement. If he failed to do so, he would be suspended as a priest and stripped of salary, heath care, housing, etc. In effect, he would be left destitute.
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On the other hand if the priest complies with the demands of his (Arch) bishop, he then runs the risk of being publicly exposed. What this would mean in practical terms is that the priest would be removed from active ministry. He would most probably be sent to Saint Luke’s, an in-house psychological facility run by the Catholic Church for priests. There he would be treated for his “sexual addiction” and after a course of “treatment” be returned to active ministry as an assistant, under the watchful supervision of a superior. In effect, his career would be destroyed; however, he would still have a salary, housing, a car, health care, and retirement benefits.
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Targeting priests who are struggling with their own sexuality will simply not work as a strategy. It will drive out of the active ministry many priests who are quietly working on behalf of LGBT people. It will drive many gay priests more deeply into the closet. It will drive some gay priests into greater self-loathing. It will strengthen the power of the hierarchy by providing them with “thought/conduct police” which will further intimidate priests. Finally, this strategy runs a serious risk of casting the LGBT movement as resorting to extortion.

With all due respect, Fr. Geoff over looks the fact that because of the anti-gay efforts of the Catholic Church and its anti-gay allies, countless LGBT Americans are fired from their jobs daily for lack of employment non-discrimination protections (some being left destitute), individuals are driven from the military shortly before retirement and left with no retirement, other individuals are denied health care access through coverage under a partner's insurance plan, and untold numbers of gay youths take their own lives rather than be damned to Hell as officially proclaimed by the Church and its closeted priests. Indeed, the Church even tells gays to undergo reparative therapy with all of its quackery and witch doctor like aspects. If a few thousand priests need to be outed and sacrificed for the benefit of hundreds of thousands or even millions of individuals, I'm sorry, but the priests need to be outed so as to cripple the Church's evil doing. Bad things happen because good people stand by and do nothing. Here, these closeted priests made their choices and must live with the consequences.

My Upcoming Appearance on WHRV 89.5 FM Public Radio

2009-11-24T21:30:00.004-05:00

A week from tomorrow I will be a guest on Hearsay with Cathy Lewis on WHRV 89.5 FM Public Radio for Hampton Roads a part of a round table group to discuss LGBT issues in Hampton Roads, Virginia. "HearSay with Cathy Lewis" is the only locally produced, public affairs radio call-in program in Hampton Roads. Every Monday through Friday and reaches more than 52,000 listeners, from Richmond, Virginia to the Outer Banks of North Carolina. The show's host, Cathy Lewis" won the Virginia Association of Broadcasters Award for Best Radio Documentary or Public Affairs Show and in July 2004 "Port Folio Weekly" named Cathy the Best Radio Personality in Hampton Roads.

The other panelists will include Shannon Bowman (one of my fellow co-founders of HRBOR), who was, along with her partner, denied ‘family’ membership status at the Mallory Country Club recently, and James Parker, President of Hampton Roads Pride and Jon Blair, CEO of Equality Virginia. Since I know all of the other members of the panel well it should make for a lively and informative discussion. The topics to be discussed will include legal and estate planning issues, including gay marriage, health care access issues, and elder care for members of the LGBT community.

Here's an explanation of why I was invited to participate in the panel:

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We are hoping to include a legal professional in the conversation and, in looking for a local person to provide that perspective, I came across your blogs (both the legal and personal ones) and thought you would be a great choice given both your personal and professional ties to the LGBT community.

It should be an interesting experience and I am looking forward to it.