Bits & Pieces

We've moved! Finally!

2008-01-28T22:13:00.001-06:00

OK kids….we’ve finnaly made the move official. We’re not completely set up. As a matter of fact, I just got it up tonight (Monday). I still haven’t been able to import all the old posts, but I’m still working on that.

But, I’ve inserted the B&P logo, added a few links and made a few posts, and it seems to be working. So come on over… make yourself comfortable. Bookmark the new url and be patient as I learn all about WordPress.

Here we go……

http://bitsandpieces.us

I’ll try to keep this site up as long as I can.

Derogatory names for cities

2008-01-28T16:22:00.001-06:00

Here are a few:

Augusta, ME -> Disgusta

St. Screwy (St. Louis)

Indiano-place (Indianapolis)

I've heard Orlando called "O-bland-o" or maybe "Or-bland-o

Nashua, NH referred to as "trashua"

Berzerkeley

Frederick, MD = Fredneck

Sioux City, is affectionately referred to as "Sewer City"

Lewisville, Tx as Loserville

Filthadelphia

Regina, Saskatchewan: Vagina, Sadcatchtochewon

Iowa Shitty --> Iowa City, IA

Rottenfester = Rochester, NY

Not just Filthadelphia, but also Philasmellphia

Des Peres, Missouri - Despair, Misery

Big Sleazy=New Orleans (Big Easy)

Cleveland=Thieveland

Las Vegas=Lost Wages

Burlington, ON -> Borington, Girlington

Sacramento = Excremento

Cincinnati --> Cincinasty

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WARNING: Don't swallow your gum

2008-01-28T15:58:00.001-06:00

Thanks Gene

Old (as Hell) Angel

2008-01-28T15:57:00.001-06:00

Thanks Gene

The Irishman and the priest

2008-01-28T15:49:00.001-06:00

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'

The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'

The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'

The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran ov er to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'

The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'

Thanks Gene

Scrabble trivia

2008-01-28T15:44:00.001-06:00

Scrabble is also known as Alfapet, Funworder, Skip-A-Cross, Spelofun and Palabras Cruzadas ("Crossed Words").

A Scrabble board is 15 spaces high and 15 spaces wide, for a total of 225 squares.

The game is sold in 121 countries in 29 different languages.

One hundred million sets have been sold worldwide.

Celebrities known for being Scrabble fans includ Sting, Keanu Reeves, Moby, John Travolta and Carol Burnett.

Scrabble sets are found in one out of every three American homes.

Scrabble was invented in 1938 by architect Alfred Mosher Butts. Butts created the game as a variation of another word game he invented, Lexiko.

Alfred Butts decided on the frequency and distribution of letters in Scrabble by analyzing the front page of the New York Times. He used a penknife to cut his first set of wooden Scrabble tiles.

The original name of Scrabble was "Criss-Crosswords."

There is just one Q in a Scrabble game.

The highest known score for a single word in competition Scrabble is 392. In 1982, Dr. Saladin Khoshnaw achieved this score for the word "caziques," which means "Indian chief."

Scrabble is a real word. It means "to scratch frantically."

Scrabble was a daytime game show (on NBC), hosted by Chuck Woolery, from July 1984 to March 1990. A second run of the show aired from January to June, 1993.

The game has 100 tiles.

In America and Canada, when a player who empties their rack on one play, it's called a "bingo." Elsewhere, it's called a "bonus." The player gets 50 additional points.

The highest possible score a player can get in Scrabble, on a first turn, is for the word MUZJIKS (128 points).

The highest possible score, theoretically, for a single play under American tournament Scrabble rules is 1,778 points for joining eight already-played tiles to form the word OXYPHENBUTAZONE across three triple-word-score squares, while simultaneously extending seven specific already-played words to form new words.

What kind of wood is used to make Scrabble letters? Vermont Maple.

The first word played in the Scrabble rules demonstration game is "horn."

The highest score obtainable by playing a seven-letter word is QUARTZY (164 points) across a triple-word-score square with the Z on a double-letter-score square.

ETAERIO is the seven-letter word most likely to appear on a Scrabble rack.

There are 10 two-letter words spelled with vowels only: AA, AE, AI, AY, OE, OI, OY, YA, YE, YO.

Scrabble is a fixture in popular culture. It has been featured films and television programs including "Rosemary's Baby," 'The Rosie O'Donnell Show," "Seinfeld," "The Simpsons" and "Will & Grace," among many others.

The original Scrabble didn't include a board. It was played with just the tiles.

If all the Scrabble tiles ever produced were placed in a row, they would stretch for more than 50,000 miles.

There is a Braille version of Scrabble.

A local ordinance in Atwoodville, Connecticut, prohibits people from playing Scrabble while waiting for a politician to speak.

Thanks Max

Website update: Still working the bugs out...

2008-01-27T18:14:00.001-06:00

Bits & Pieces Saga Continues…

Just an update of the Bits & Pieces fiasco that continues. After a couple of calls and emails it was “suggested” that I remove WordPress from the new site – which I did, I cleared out everything. Now I have put in a request to the fine tech people at GoDaddy.com to unsuspend the new hosting account so I can start all over fresh and not use the offending plugin that reaked havoc on their server. The guy I talked to wasn’t sure they’d allow me to reinstall WordPress but that I should ask first if that’s OK. So I politely did and now am awaiting a responce that I should receive “within 24 hours”. I noted in my email to them that I hadn’t received a reply from the other email I sent explaing my problem 30 hours ago.

So this issue will be settled one way or another in the next day or so. If not to my satisfaction than I will change hosts and use every opportunity to slam GoDaddy that I can. So, I promise that things will get back to “normal” very soon.

As you might have noticed I’m posting a few images. I assume this is still against the rules at GoDaddy, but I’ve tried to do it the right way, but they’re not making it easy. So don’t be surprised if they all disappear. Hell they might even delete me… they already have what they need from me… my credit card number.

Stay tuned… and thanks for your patience.

Good as new

2008-01-27T18:13:00.001-06:00

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Measuring cup

2008-01-27T18:12:00.001-06:00

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Onion ring

2008-01-27T17:44:00.001-06:00

Could you eat your friends if you were trapped and starving?

2008-01-27T11:53:00.001-06:00

How likely are you to eat your friends in a life and death situation?

Here are my results after taking a short test:

41%

Take the test

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A snag in the process.....

2008-01-26T10:17:00.001-06:00

Well, the moving truck ran off the road. After finally finding a way to convert the old posts, I ran into a brick wall on the move. With more than half of the posts converted to the new site, it just stopped working. Apparently, the conversion method I was using (a plugin for WordPress) was really screwing up the fine folks at the hosting service. WordPress’s built-in import feature just didn’t work for me. I don’t know if it’s becuase of the size of the site or what.

So now my account is “suspended” cause I’ve been a bad boy, screwing up their servers. I put a call in to tech support (that’s how I learned the above), and now we’re exchanging emails trying to get the account unsuspended. I don’t have any more time to work on this today…… but will be back on it first thing tomorrow.

Stay tuned…..

Website update

2008-01-26T00:33:00.001-06:00

OK kids… pack your bags…. we’re moving. I hope to announce where tomorrow or Sunday at the latest. I think the conversion to a new site just might work. As you may have noticed, the graphics are back here.. (or coming back as I type this). I’m in the process of copying old posts as we speak (actually as I type). I’ll have to shut down the blogger site (this one) before long or I’might lose my graphics again. So be sure to check back for the updated site info.

Special thanks To Dave at Dead Dog for some guidance in the conversion process. Also thanks to all the other people who offered help and encouraging words.

Stay tuned….

A little hospital fun...

2008-01-25T15:29:00.001-06:00

A young woman was in the hospital, recovering from major surgery. She hated being stuck in the tiny little room all day and to make matters worse, the daily routine was starting to get to her. Every morning, for example, the nurse would bring her breakfast (which always consisted of an egg, piece of toast, and glass of apple juice). She would then return a little bit later to empty the urine bottle.

And so it continued...

Finally, one morning, she decided to have a little fun. She ate the eggs and the toast, but went to the bathroom where she cleaned the urine bottle out, then poured the apple juice into it. When the nurse returned later that morning, he took a look at the bottle and a frown came over his face.

"Obviously, you enjoyed your breakfast, but something must be wrong because this looks a little cloudy," he said, pointing to the urine bottle.

"Oh, really?" the patient replied, picking up the bottle in question and putting it to her lips. "In that case, we’d better run it through again..."

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Quick sunset in New York

2008-01-25T15:25:00.001-06:00

The business of death

2008-01-25T15:21:00.001-06:00

There’s a lot of money to be made… or spent, depending on which side of the casket you on or in…, in the funeral industry.

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Cheers Trivia

2008-01-25T15:03:00.001-06:00

John Ratzenberger (Cliff) originally auditioned for the role of barfly Norm Peterson.

Before John Ratzenberger made it big on Cheers, he had bit roles in some of Hollywood’s biggest blockbusters, including The Empire Strikes Back, Superman, and Gandhi.

Although the Cheers bar was fully functional (and many NBC after-hours parties were held on the set), the suds served to George Wendt weren’t exactly a tasty microbrew. In fact, it was “near beer,” with an alcohol content of 3.2 percent, and a pinch of salt added so that the mug kept a foamy head under the hot studio lights.

Jay Thomas was the morning DJ at LA’s KPWR-Power 106 when he auditioned for (and won) the role of hockey star Eddie LeBec. He was brought back for several episodes in order to give Carla a story arc, and Eddie and Carla eventually wed on the show. Eddie might have made it to the series finale had Jay Thomas not taken a call on the air one morning asking him “What’s it like working on Cheers?” Thomas made several unflattering remarks about Rhea Perlman and having to kiss her… and Rhea happened to be listening to his show. Not surprisingly, a few weeks later Eddie LeBec was killed in a bizarre Zamboni accident.

More Cheers trivia

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New cellphone

2008-01-25T14:46:00.001-06:00

I need one of these….

Thanks Joe P

Stupid game show answers

2008-01-24T21:20:00.001-06:00

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Oprah Winfrey Network to Debut in 2009

2008-01-24T21:13:00.001-06:00

Tentative lineup:

“Good Morning, Oprah,”

“Oprah Today,”

“Judge Oprah ,”

“Grand Ol' Oprah,”

“The Evening News With Oprah Winfrey,”

“Dancing With Oprah,”

“Good Night, Oprah,” and

“Oprah Test Pattern.”

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Dik Dik

2008-01-24T21:06:00.001-06:00

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Leaping lemurs

2008-01-24T21:01:00.001-06:00

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Putting your affairs in order

2008-01-24T20:57:00.001-06:00

A woman went to her doctor.

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.' The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. 'Well daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. Let's head to the club and have a martini.'

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating. The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end. 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.'

The friends were aghast and gave the woman their condolences. After the friends left, the woman's daughter
leaned over and whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS.'

The woman said, 'I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone.'

That's 'Putting Your Affairs In Order.

Thanks Sandra R

Trivial animal trivia

2008-01-24T20:53:00.001-06:00

This week the Zoological Society of London published a list of the world's weirdest animals, including a purple frog that lives 12ft underground.

A RABBIT loves licorice - but it is very bad for them because they cannot digest sugars.

DALMATIONS are the only breed of dog that gets gout (because they are the only mammals, other than humans, which produce uric acid).

SLUGS have four noses - well actually a pair of gills for breathing and a pair of rhinopores (chemosensory organs) used for smelling.

HONEYBEES have hairs on their eyes to help them collect pollen.

The left leg of a CHICKEN is tendered than the right one, which it uses most, therefore increasing muscle development.

The sperm of a MOUSE is longer than the sperm of an elephant.

MICE are highly promiscuous and need particularly large testes to keep up with demand.

More human deaths have been attributed to FLEAS than all the wars ever fought.

As carriers of the bubonic plague, fleas were responsible for killing one third of the population of Europe in the 14th century.

A CAT uses its whiskers to determine if a space is too small to squeeze through.

GOLDFISH lose their color if kept in dim light. Much like humans getting a tan, they need sunlight to keep their pigment.

ALBATROSSES have a wing span of up to 14ft and need to land only once every couple of years to breed. They can travel hundreds of thousands of miles each flight.

Certain Chinese and American ALLIGATORS can survive the winter by freezing their heads in ice, leaving their nose out to breath for months on end.

DOLPHINS sleep with one half of the brain at a time, and one eye closed.

When two DOGS approach each other, the dog which wags its tail very slowly - showing anger - is in charge.

Some LIONS can mate more than 50 times a day.

If you lift a KANGAROO'S tail off the ground it can't hop - they use their tails for balance.

For every person there are roughly 200 million INSECTS.

A CROCODILE cannot stick its tongue out, because it is attached to the bottom of its mouth. This is why they appear to gulp their food down.

ELEPHANTS are the only mammals that can't jump.

CAMELS have three eyelids to protect themselves from blowing sand.

Many HAMSTERS blink only one eye at a time.

A FLAMINGO can eat only when its head is upside down. Its tongue pumps water through the sieve-like ridges that line its beak in order to trap microscopic algae.

A DOLPHIN'S hearing is so acute that it can pick up an underwater sound from 15 miles away.

BUTTERFLIES taste with their hind feet.

A SNAIL can sleep for three years if conditions are adverse (such as during a drought).

BEES have five eyes - three small ones on top of their head and two larger ones in front.

POLAR BEARS are the only mammal with hair on the soles of their feet. It helps them to get a good grip on icy surfaces, and also acts as a heat insulator.

Most ELEPHANTS weigh less than the tongue of a blue whale.

The only two animals that can see behind themselves without turning their head are the RABBIT and the PARROT.

PENGUINS can jump as high as 6ft in the air.

The last animal in the dictionary is the ZYZZYVA, a tropical weevil.

ELEPHANTS have been found swimming miles from shore in the Indian Ocean.

The leg bones of a BAT are so thin that they cannot walk.

GREAT WHITE SHARKS can go as long as three months without eating.

GOAT'S eyes have rectangular pupils, which enable them to watch over their broad, flat grazing area for predators.

KIWI BIRDS are blind and hunt by smell.

GIRAFFES have no vocal cords and communicate by vibrating the air around their necks.

A female OYSTER may produce 100 million young over her lifetime.

MOSQUITOES are attracted to the color blue twice as much as to any other color.

No two ZEBRAS have the same markings.

The longest recorded flight of a CHICKEN is 13 seconds.

A BEE must visit 4,000 flowers to make one tablespoon of honey.

By swallowing water, the PUFFER FISH becomes too big for other fish to swallow.

A full-grown BEAR can run as fast as a horse.

Female FLEAS drink 15 times their weight in blood every day.

When a GIRAFFE'S baby is born, it falls from a height of 6ft, usually without being hurt.

A DRAGONFLY can spot an insect moving 33ft away.

CAMEL milk does not curdle, because it has adapted to the desert heat.

POLAR BEARS can swim 60 miles without pausing for a rest.

Thanks Max

Why men are happier....

2008-01-23T17:07:00.001-06:00

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Thanks Gary J