From Talbots to Target

Christmases past

2009-12-24T13:33:00.001-05:00

I found these pictures from Christmas 2005

M with Gommy!\

Decorating. Or something (xmas 2005)

He was a MONKEY and always needed to be near his mother.

I love this picture! Look at M giving W a shot! O was a comfortable passenger in 2005.

In 2006 we added one more to the mix, just for the fun of it!

2006 was the year of princesses and cars.

Slippers with wheels. All about the cars.

Getting his stocking. No mantel, a doorway will work!

He was a grand prop in 2006.

We must have been good in 2006!

Now I need to find pictures from 2007 and 2008!

2008 has been found, at least one picture.

Day 1

2009-12-23T06:34:00.000-05:00

Change: Day 1
I laid out all of their clothes
I wrapped four out of six presents
I got up before them, well at least two of them
I organized their back packs
I planned my outfit for today
It is 6:26 a.m. and the bus doesn't come until 8:15 a.m.
I must shower
I must wrap two remaining gifts and pen two heartfelt notes to the recipients
I must provide breakfast
I must encourage each of them to be autonomous and get dressed by themselves
I must put snacks together

Overall, I would say I feel good about this morning.

Baby steps.

Change is hard

2009-12-22T19:49:00.000-05:00

I slept until 7:15 this morning. I did 4 loads of laundry yesterday. I folded all of the towels. I barely got the kids out the door this morning. I didn't do anything that would resemble changing today.

Tonight I will set out their clothes and pack snacks. I will assemble the gifts that I need to send into school and present to their teachers.

Tomorrow, I will rise early. Get myself ready and set about doing all the things I need to do to be available to the children in the morning.

Change is hard. One step at a time. Right?

One step that might be useful? I will write down what I want my morning routine to be. Then attack it one teeny tiny step at a time. Slow and steady. Constant. Then action.

Or maybe I will hire a personal assistant. That might work better. Yeah, as if.

Hanukkah 2009

2009-12-22T15:40:00.002-05:00

Every year Hanukkah gets more interesting. The kids were so excited this year!

We played dreidel and ate potato latkes. YUM. The boys were only interested in the gelt.

J says the prayers in Hebrew, of course, because that is how he was taught.

The best thing about it? W says, "Dad I don't understand what you are saying."

Headlong

2009-12-21T16:08:00.002-05:00

From FreeDictionary.com
[From Middle English (bi) hedlong, alteration of (bi) hedling : hed, head; see head + -ling, in a specified direction; see -ling2.]

(hdlông, -lng) adv.
1. With the head leading; headfirst: i.e. The runner slid headlong into third base.
2. In an impetuous manner; rashly.
3. At breakneck speed or with uncontrolled force.

From Merriam-Webster.com

Main Entry: 1head·long

Pronunciation: \-ˈlȯŋ\
Function: adverb
Etymology: Middle English hedlong, alteration of hedling, from hed head
Date: 14th century

1 : headfirst 1
2 : without deliberation : recklessly

3 : without pause or delay

I have realized, in my 41 years, that this is me. I don't analyze my decisions, I just do. I have, for the most part been successful with this modus operandi. However, I fear it may be time to begin a change. A change for the better. Not that I will ever give up my impetuous self or uncontrolled force, never. But I feel it is time to give way to more strategic, deliberate and organized living. To plan my days and in turn our children. It is time to pay more attention and give more attention to all things. It is time to make adjustments in our home. It is time to provide a more orderly place in which our children's spirits can thrive. I believe that we have provided a place for their spirits to thrive thus far, but there are many things we can do better. Life is hard, but to do it without deliberation is like rowing a one oared boat, it is good exercise but you never get anywhere.

So with the help of several different resources, I will begin an incremental process that I believe will be uncomfortable at first, but will enable our family to thrive. For after all is that not what my role as a wife and mother is about?

A moment in time

2009-12-20T15:17:00.001-05:00

We are the family that gets our tree late and leaves it up until January. So Friday, I bought our tree, brought it home and hauled it onto the front porch. M was home sick so we snuggled up, while I worked and she watched endless, mindless television. After a while we prepared the living room for the tree. J came home and then we picked up the boys. We set up the tree and began decorating.

When the tree was finished it was proclaimed to be "the most beautiful tree ever!" We listened to Christmas carols while we gazed at our creation.

After the decorating was complete, the children dispersed. The boys wanted to play on the computer.

M, still not feeling well, resumed her position on the big red chair.

I spent some time reorganizing the decorations on the tree. While doing so, M said, "Mom when you are done, would you like to join me on the chair?" To which I replied, "I would be delighted!"

The two of us sat, with our legs dangling over the arm of the chair, together. She began to ask me questions about when I was a little girl and what I did for Christmas. It was one of the most delightful times I have spent as a mother. I shared with her the tradition of our Christmas and that we had "Christmas stairs." She wants Christmas stairs, of course. I got the picture of the home in which I spent many Christmases and showed her what I could from a picture of the outside of house. Then I remembered that I had a picture, taken at Christmas, of my whole family. We sat together in the chair talking about Christmas, family and Jesus. We looked at the ornaments she has made over her short life and I wondered how many more she will create.

We talked about the people who now live in the house I grew up in. She asked if they use the Christmas stairs. "No," I said, "they don't." "Why?" she asked. "They are Jewish," I replied. "But we are Jewish." "Yes, we are Jewish, but we are Christian too. We celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas, they only celebrate Hanukkah." "Well, maybe they have Haunkkah stairs," she said.

Maybe they do.

Baby it's cold outside

2009-12-17T20:59:00.000-05:00

Really cold outside!!! Since we put our pellet stove in last year we stay pretty toasty. But what I like the best? I can run out to the hardware store and buy a bag of pellets. Last year, being newbies, we bought 2.6 tons of pellets and didn't know that you can run out to the hardware store for a bag. It makes my world much easier!

However, if you sit on the floor in your livingroom to write on your blog? Your bum is cold. Hot air rises.But you already knew that.

41

2009-12-16T19:37:00.002-05:00

On Monday I turned 41. I was sick. I felt awful. Body aches, head ache, sniffles and sore throat. Can I have a do over???

On Sunday, she and I were both 40.

It is something that most siblings do not experience. We are not twins in the traditional sense we are Irish Twins. We cherish the 6 weeks or so that we are the same age. Then I move on to and we wait until the time next year that we will, once again, be the same.

I am often say, "the sibling relationship is the longest relationship in one's life." On my birthday I love hearing from my older siblings, who remember the day I was born. They remember going to the hospital to stand outside the window with my dad, while my mom held me up to the window so they could get a glimpse. How my oldest sister wanted me to be born on her birthday. How happy she was that she had a little sister. How they all took care of me and helped our mom.

My children will never have memories of when the others were born. But I will remind them, I will show them the pictures and tell them about when they arrived. How excited they were for the new baby. I will remind them that the sibling relationship is the longest relationship in their lives. I will remind them how special they all are and how much they are loved.

A crazy mixed up holiday

2009-12-11T18:32:00.001-05:00

I went out last night and did some shopping. I got some stuff that I needed and was able to cross it off the list. I was in line at 8:20 pm. A cheery thought danced through my head, "ahhh, when I get home, the kids will be in bed and I can crash on the couch." As I was driving home, giddy with the thought of potential relaxation, I realzied. I realized that I had told the kids and their teachers that we would be sending in gelt and dreidels for each of their classes. So at 9 pm, I commenced putting together 19 little packages. Fourteen of which had hand written instructions on how to play dreidel. The children were so proud and happy to be bringing their little Hanukkah gifts to be shared. Everyone loved them!

I had grand plans for tonight, the first night of Hanukkah. Potato latkes, pizza delivery...But J is working, we were out of pellets for the pellet stove and McDonald's was right there next to the pellet store. We got Hanukkah Happy Meals instead. We will light the candles when J gets home, but in the mean time, I hope I get gimel!

I have a little dreidel. I made it out of clay.

When it's dry and ready, then dreidel I shall play.

Oh dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, I made it out of clay.

Oh dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, then dreidel I shall play.

Snow 2009

2009-12-10T08:06:00.000-05:00

Health

2009-12-08T22:45:00.001-05:00

Today I took O to his post surgical follow up. He had meatal stenosis which caused his urine stream to project up and to the left. We could not determine if he truly had an issue until he was potty trained. He was diagnosed with this condition when we saw the pediatric urologist for a kidney issue in July of 2007. We went back to the pediatric urologist in October for a follow up visit on the stenosis as his kidney issue has resolved as of his last ultra sound. He potty trained this summer and while I did not have absolute confimration that he was still a "South Paw", I was pretty sure.  While with the pediatric urologist, O was able to void, "Yep." Do not pass go. Do not pay $200. Go directly to the OR.
The standard treatment of care for his delicate, but not uncommon condition, is a meatotomy. On November 17th I brought my youngest child to have surgery, not invasive surgery, which does assuage the worries that pulsate through the mind of a mother. We arrived a little after 9 a.m., as instructed, nothing to eat or drink after midnight.    We waited in the outer waiting room.  We waited in the pre-op curtain area. I did not change him into his Johnny right away. When I did change him into it, he fussed about the discomfort of the garment and repeatedly asked for his 'normal' clothes. After a fair amount of time waiting, he was summoned to the OR. I accompanied him, fully gowned, and watched as they put him to sleep. As the nurse walked me out, I told her, "This is something I do not ever need to see again."

When M was 4 months old, I noticed a slight discoloration behind her right ear. It became progressively darker and darker over the next month. I brought her to our pediatrician who referred us to a pediatric dermatologist. When she initially diagnosed the lesion, I no longer recall what the name was, she said it would disappear by the time she was two. "Ok, I thought, nothing to worry about." When she was three it was still there. Nothing had really changed but we went back to the pediatric dermatologist. It was not what she had orginally thought, it was a congenital nevus, although it was not present at birth.   The doctor took a picture of the mole so we could compare year over year. In April this year we went for our annual check of the mole. "We have talked about this before and as you know, things change all the time in terms of medical recommendations. But I think we should have this removed before she goes off to college. At that time, you won't have control over her, she will be more independent and less likely to monitor the mole." We made our annual appointment for April of 2010 and left the office.J and I discussed the visit with the pediatric dermatologist several times. I replayed this conversation over and over and over again in my head. Two weeks later I called to make the appointment to have it removed, we were referred to a pediatric plastic surgeon.

We arrived at 6 a.m. as instructed. Nothing to eat or drink after midnight. We signed all the paperwork, and got into her Johnny. The pediatric anesthesiologist came to see us and told M everything that was going to happen. She choose the bubble gum "flavored" air and off he went. He returned a few moments later and administered some pre-operative medicine to make her drowsy. It worked like a charm. Within a few minutes she was barely able to speak. Something I never want to see again.

I tell these stories only emphasize how blessed we are to have healthy children. Healthy children.   Neither of our children suffered no ill effects or post surgical complications. Well O did have a slight infection 10 days status post nothing some antibiotics and 5 baths in less than 8 hours couldn't fix up.

It's Sunday and that means chores and organization

2009-12-06T11:01:00.000-05:00

I have found myself working hard at organizing my life. This does not come naturally for me, but does for several of my friends, it is wired within their D.N.A. It is not wired in mine. I do however, subscribe to "like things together" which is taught in kindergarten. I continue to put all the same toys together in the same basket and encourge the kids to do so as well. Working full time at a job outside of the house and often being a single parent on the weekends does not lend itself to quiet relaxation. Sundays are the day to pull everything together. Laundry needs to be done, meals need to be planned and shopping needs to be done. Although I am working on a strategy that will aleviate some stress so that weekends can be more relaxing. Implementation thereof would be Phase II.

This time of year we are doing things like getting ready for holidays, celebrating Advent in anticipation of Christmas. We are also getting ready for Hanukkah which starts on December 11th. M's school will be talking about it this week and as far as I know she is the only Jewish child in the class. Being she is from an interfaith family and that she is only 6 she doesn't have a full grasp of the true meaning of any holiday. When asked if she knows about Hanukkah she said, "Yes!" But when probed further she couldn't say.

Raising and guiding an interfaith family is not an easy task. It takes committment and faith. J prefers the heritage of Judiaism to the religion. I have always been more observant in my Christianity. We had the children baptized, on the same day, three years ago today. It was on the heals of my father's diagnosis of cancer. The fellowship of that weekend still warms my heart. We stayed with that church for sometime, but then it just didn't feel right, so we moved on. We tried another church and that lasted only a little while. I often feel guilty that we don't go to church every Sunday as it is just too much for me to pull it all together and get out the door. It was recently suggested to me that I can have Sunday School here at home. "Not a bad suggestion," I thought. After all we are doing Advent at home.

So today I remember that special day three years ago:

And will continue to parent, guide and love these children. On Friday we will celebrate Hanukkah as we have since we have been a family:

Christmas Tired

2009-12-05T19:11:00.001-05:00

Christmas if by far my favorite time of year. I usually decorate the house on Thanksgiving eve, although this year, we weren't home. Then the day after Thanksgiving we weren't home either. So I began decorating on Saturday after Thanksgiving. I started slow. I am tired after working all week!

Then we worked on the Advent wreath:

and since we had gathered so many greens we did this:

I took this plain candle:

And turned it into this:

M had made a bazillion snowflakes the week previous so we did this:

We hung them with silver glitter covered clothes pins.

And this weekend, we did this:

I have yet to put the candles in the windows or do this to my chandelier:

I am also rethinking this:

I feel it looks a little like a space shuttle.

Luckily for me, I celebrate until early January so my decorations can be enjoyed for a few more weeks.

In the meantime, maybe I will get the candles in the windows this week.

We had a town wide celebration today and we got to visit with:

M said to me in the car on the way home, "That is not the real Santa. He had boot covers! He was wearing sneakers with boot covers."

Hmmm, how am I going to deal with that.

A little of this and a little of that

2009-11-29T21:32:00.000-05:00

I spent some time today reading my previous posts. It was a delightful spin down memory lane. I realized that I have not done a good job at a few things. Number 1: Honing my craft of writing. Number 2: Not comprehensively documenting my children's lives. Number 3: Letting unpleasant things take me away from something I enjoy.

I am back. I am here and I will once again take joy in writing all about the silliness, the awkwardness, the honesty of motherhood.

Until then, I leave you with this:

A Saturday morning jaunt, in our jammies, to find a fine specimen of winterberry to assist in the Christmas-ifcation of our home. However, when we pulled off the road I could not traverse the steep incline to steal the berries right out of the birds who were enjoying a most delicious breakfast. Instead I captured children clad in their jammies, with frosting from Christmas colored sprinkle donuts caked on their cheeks.

But most importantly? Do you see M? She is buckling O into his seat. It is how we roll. Teamwork, support and assistance for eachother.*

And this one? He has his chapter book. He has taken one of his books and divided the pages into chapters, complete with a book mark. We have read three chapters thus far. He wants to read sooooo bad.

* This is a snippet of behavior and yes, we teach all of those things but it depends on the mood of the child who is the giver of assistance. On this day M was more than happy to assist.

A new twist on a newly followed tradition in our home.

2009-11-28T12:28:00.003-05:00

Being part of an interfaith family has its challenges. I am more faithful and J is more observant of the heritage of Judaism. Many Christians feel that Judaism is the foundation of the Chrisitian faith. I am not schooled enough to enumerate the reasons why, however, this is not the case.

For a long time I took the children to church. It is really hard to do so when you do it by yourself, especially after a long week of working fulltime getting dressed up just seems like one more chore. Then I wasn't happy with the church we were going to and decided to look for other churches. We tried a few but it was difficult to get out of the door on a regular basis. As a result we have not attended church regularly for some time.

We do say prayers every night and speak of our faith often. This year I have been inspired to celebrate Advent in our home. I have always known about the Advent Wreath and that the colors of the candles are purple and pink. I have always known that Advent begins 4 weeks before Christmas. There are many things that I was not aware of, for example, that the

First Candle First Sunday in Advent
November 29th

Color: Purple

Second Candle Second Sunday in Advent
December 6th

Color: Purple

Third Candle Third Sunday in Advent
December 13th
Color: Purple or pink

Fourth Candle Fourth Sunday in Advent
December 20th

Color: Purple

I went to church throughout my childhood and sporadically in my young adulthood. I was oblivious to the meanings of the traditions. This year we will put together a wreath to celebrate the impending Chirstmas holiday. We will also light the menorah, a tradition that I have come to love. J says all the prayers in Hebrew and the kids and I look on with wonder.

Here are some wreaths that I have found for examples:

This screams traditional, yes?

Traditional and frilly.

Lovely!

And here is ours! We ran out to the craft store to find pink and purple pillar candles. No luck on the pink, but we scored on the purple.

This is my cherry wood salad bowl. I placed a circle of wood (thanks W!) that I covered with purple tissue paper, then covered that with dry white beans. M and I took our kitchen shears and headed out to the back yard to collect the greens.

Of course we had to add some glitter:

I am pleased! We are ready for tomorrow!

Black Friday NOT

2009-11-27T07:46:00.000-05:00

I planned and strategized. I researched where and what had the best deals. In the end, after discussing with J, I decided to not attempt to fight the crowds. The items I am looing for are most certainly not the hottest trendiest toys. As J pointed out the stores provide a false sense of scarcity, the sales go on for two or three days. So I am shopping on line from the comfort of my living room. Although, there are 6 eyes peering over my shoulder as a result only so much can be done.

My only other Black Friday experience was easy. O was still a baby and his sleeping schedule prompted me to get up. The thought of setting an alarm was just too much for me. That and the sight of people lining up last night at Best Buy.

If you are partaking today, I hope you get every deal you set out to get.

Giving thanks

2009-11-26T09:52:00.000-05:00

Obsession

2009-11-24T09:20:00.000-05:00

I don't know about your house but at our house, many obsessions exist. The tape obsession has been ongoing for some time. Over the summer, W put tape all over our swing set. He then put tape all over the outdoor dinning table. The three of them are constantly asking for the tape.

This morning, while in the shower, they did this:

Calm Seas

2009-11-22T15:46:00.001-05:00

I am much clamer today than yesterday. I went grocery shopping, which always soothes my soul. It is how I "hunt and gather" for my family. After I put all the groceries away and I set about collecting fire wood for our fire pit. O had decided we must have marshmallows so we lit the fire and roasted marshmallows.

Once J was finished with his work for the day, he made a far more respectable fire. It was a lovely day that started out not so good.

High Anxiety

2009-11-21T07:23:00.001-05:00

So much of what I feel is straight up anxiety. I am overwhelmed and under staffed. I am paralyzed with my anxiety. I don't have the luxury of just checking out. I have told KD that I need support right now and he is doing his best.

The mountain of clean clothes is suffocating me. The mountains of papers is crushing. The constant stream of activity has me frazzled. The illness, the surgery, the daily mainentance of running a household and working fulltime has got the better of me. I am overwhelmed.

I know this will pass but for now, in this moment, I want to run screaming away from my life.

I also know that I am loved. I am loved by God. I am loved by my husband. I am loved by my family and so many people in the world. Today I will be gentle with myself. I will be kind. I will take one thing at a time. Today I ask for Grace, for that is what will get me through.

Wait did I ever tell you I used that fabric?

2009-11-19T02:15:00.003-05:00

I bought some pretty cool fabric at the beginning of 2009. I blogged about it here as I got a huge deal! But I do not recall ever posting about what it is that I created.

Ta dah!

KD built this shelf/bench last March. It is a perfect solution for an area that was unusable space. It provides much needed storage space, extra seating and/or serving space. The kids shoes are tucked underneath in the baskets. I love it.

Papa, these are for you

2009-11-14T09:05:00.002-05:00

Vaccines for sale

2009-11-09T15:30:00.001-05:00

Vaccines are not for sale, but if I had a lot of money I bet my kids would have at least the first round of the H1N1 vaccination. My children are not considered to have any underlying health risks which, if they had, would catapult them to the front of the line. But they are children and by that mere fact they are in a high risk category than either myself or KD. From my research anyone under the age of 25 is a group in which the H1N1 occurs at a higher frequency than people over age 25.

Our pediatrician's office has an area on their website where they keep the parents of their patients up to date with the doses that they have received. I am also a member of a mother's group and through a flurry of emails this morning I became aware that our pediatrician's office had received some doses of the vaccine. However, at 10 a.m. this morning, they were no longer accepting appointments. So after a deep breathing exercise I called them. I was placed on hold for about 3 minutes, I inquired half heartedly about the vaccine and asked when they expect further shipments. I was given a very vague answer and then was told about a "waiting" list. I gave my children's names and then wondered, "Every child under the age of 25 is supposed to get this vaccination. WHY would you need a waiting list?" And then my mind went on from there, "What does being on the waiting list buy me?" So then I asked, "If my children receive the first round of vaccine, is it guaranteed that they will receive the second?" She responded with the big ol' "I don't know. Everyone is focused on getting the first shot."

It is truly a doggee dog world out there right now and it is scary. The media has hyped this flu into a death sentence. No one is communicating effectively. We all know and understand that the production of the vaccine takes time. But we also know that we are the parents of children and in order to care for our children we are told to get them vaccinated.

If I do get a call from the "wait list" I will inquire again about the guarantee of receiving the second shot for my three children. If they cannot guarantee that within 30 days I will have a second shot for the kids, I will opt out and pass my slot off to someone else.

At least that is what I say now.

We are Swine

2009-10-31T14:51:00.000-04:00

It is not easy but I am managing my hysteria/anxiety.

KD teaches at the first Massachusetts school that was closed due to "flu like illnesses." Baby fell asleep last Wednesday night, on the floor, with a fever. I kept him home on Thursday. I sent Middle off to our baby sitter sneezing and sniffling. I called at 3 pm, he had a fever. Oldest went to school as planned. Friday Oldest woke up and complained that she didn't feel well. I was suspect. However, about 1/2 hour later, I realized that she too was sick. We had decided the night previous that KD would stay home despite the fact that he had missed Monday and Tuesday that week due to his swine-ess. The phone rang at 7:30 a.m. on Friday. A recorded message from the Superintendent of KD's school, the school was closing at 11:00 on Friday and would remain closed until Wednesday of the following week.

That was settled so I went off to work. Fearing that I too would succumb to Swine I procured goods that would enable the children to be somewhat self-sufficient. I bought snacks and juice boxes. I bought ginger ale and saltines, no one should be without when sick. When I arrived home, with pizza, KD was in pretty bad shape. I sent him off to take a shower and set about cleaning up the house. I filled the lower drawer of the refrigerator, usually reserved for fruits, with juice boxes. I tested to see if they could open the drawers and help themselves. When KD emerged he seemed better, he ate a little and had some ginger ale, then I sent him off to bed.

The children and I did our usual Friday night tradition. We light candles, turned off all the lights, ate pizza, snuggled up and watch a movie. One by one they fell asleep. After I carried each of them up to their beds I debated: sleep upstairs with the "sickies" or sleep on the couch. I fell asleep watching television, so that took care of that.

Saturday morning, I bathed, er scrubbed, all the children and got them dressed. Baby and I hit the store to secure the germ killers. We made it through the weekend and by Monday, all but one of us was where they were supposed to be.

So from our house to yours, we hope you remain germ free.

It is all about the conversation

2009-10-25T14:19:00.000-04:00

Baby: "You don't have a penis."
Queen: "No I don't. I am a girl."
Oldest: "Yeah girls have a pahgina."

Oldest: "Do you know what revenge is?"
Middle: "No"
Oldest: "Me niether."

I love listening to their conversations. With Oldest in First Grade so much of their conversations have more to do with what things mean. It is a wonderous time.