Stories&Photographs

Seven Stories

2009-06-09T11:32:00.007+08:00

The very first piece you must learn if you want to join the rondalla is the "Lupang Hinirang" - but before that, the musical scale. I was fortunate enough for having someone teach me everything I needed to know. I have enjoyed a lot of trips and experiences with our group and it is all thanks to her, my teacher.

I found a to-do list similar to mine, where dancing is at the bottom. The owner of the list would also complain of the "difficult" steps the bosses would want you to do. In the end, we would have to obey the bosses though. If you want to bring honor to your class section, you should at least learn how to dance.

In the midst of the speech of a "prominent figure from Iraq", I met someone. That person does not have something better to do too so she agreed to take a few shots with me.

One night at a ball, I sat silently between two empty seats. A sorceress took the seat and said, "I don't mind having the frog I cursed around," pointing to the one seated by the far table. I replied, "It seems like the frog has already made himself comfortable over there. I would be glad if your friend, the wizard, will take the last seat instead." The conversation led to the two meeting new friends like elves and rangers and humans and goblins.

The witch wanted to kill the queen but killed the king instead - their beloved. To avenge for the king's death, the queen's daughter was landed upon the curse of the furious witch. No one could have guessed that the rivals - Hella and Amethyst - could be good friends at the backstage.

The three goddesses were so powerful that they can make the sun shine its brightest just by walking around the courtyard.

Once there were seven tyrants in maroon robes who would roam around their land. They would mock the slaves, lavish upon the peasants' hard-earned gold, torment the villagers, or simply cackle and gossip while watching the laborers work. However even with all these ruthlessness and harshness, they can still love someone apart themselves. The tyrant with the mirror would not brag to the tyrant who pets a snake. Meanwhile, the tyrant who pets a snake would not wish that the other tyrant be deprived of something she wants for herself.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, EUNICE!

My Last Days at Home

2009-06-04T15:32:00.004+08:00

I will be moving to my sisters' place on Sunday. Actually, my clothes were already taken there weeks ago. That's why I'm short on clothes today. Haha.

I'm moving real soon so I decided to make the most out of the ~~luxuries~~ things I have here. I stay up late to watch tv. I go online all day - hey, I always do this. I sleep until noon. I don't do chores. I did the dishes last night, though. Wait, I haven't abused the piano yet. I'm also spending with half of my family - the other half, I will be living with. I eat lunch with my mom. Eating means chatting with her too. I watch the news with my dad. That includes guessing which tv commercial is which where we always cheat. It's not a fair game, I tell you. After that, my mom watches her usual soapoperas. And just for the fun of it, my dad and I watch with her too.

Our first stop is GMA 7's Zorro. I love to annoy my mom by asking her a lot of questions like, "Who is this guy?", "Why does he want to kill that guy?", "He's an indio?", "Who are his parents?", and she would yell at me and tell me that it's the twist - I have to watch. When the show is over, I can't remember anything about it. Hahaha.

I send my dad to bed around 9pm because...he usually sleeps around 9pm so he would not get late for work. I don't stop nagging him until he goes to bed. He doesn't go until it's exactly 9:00, though.

My mom watches Totoy Bato next. I don't watch this - I don't have the heart for it. Seriously, why does she watch this show?

As I was working on something for school one March night, I overheard a girl crying(?), shouting(?) - I can't remember. Then I asked, "Sino 'yan, si Kim Chiu?" And that was when my mom discovered how I loathed the girl.

Now, I watch this drama with her. Of course I also started with, "Who's she?", "Oh...they're twins?", "Gosh, why are they fighting over her?", "Why was he sold?", "He's a criminal?" and after a lot more questions I finally got to the conclusion - "Tayong Dalawa" means JR and Dave, the twins from the series. Hahaha.

When my mom isn't tired enough, we stay up until SNN. I skip Kris Aquino's Bingo thingy though. Her constant squealing annoys me.

However when my mom is too tired, she leaves me with the tv and I get to watch whatever I want. My dad sleeps early so we can not use the tv in their bedroom. Anyway, here starts my staying up late.

The Lord of the Rings: Tactics

2009-06-04T12:48:00.013+08:00

Me: Laruin mo din 'yung FF7: Crisis Core, dali! Para ma-in love ka din kay Zack.
Miguel: *disgusted* Pa'no ba 'yun? Parang may turns?
Me: Eew. Wala. 'Pag combat mode, laban lang.
Miguel: Aw. Ayoko nun.
Me: Bakit? Ang boring kaya 'pag may turns. Maghihintay ka pa. Tapos ang dami pa nung characters.
Miguel: Strategy 'yun no.
Me: Speed 'yun, 'pag walang turns. 'Pag mabilis ka mag-isip, mabilis ka sa controls, mabilis ka tumakbo, etc.
Miguel: Nagugulat ako sa ganun eh.
Me: Wahahahahaha. Dapat maglaro ka ng Silent Hill: Origins. Para mas magulat ka. Wahahahaha.

-conversation from late junior year

See, I don't enjoy games with turns. Okay...except Civilization 3. But it really annoys me when all nations become more progressive. Each city of each nation is busy doing something. All units (workers, combatants, planes, etc.) move. I can finish a medium-sized cupcake while waiting for that one, single turn to finish, seriously. I am impatient. BUT, I tried playing The Lord of the Rings: Tactics. That is how much I love Legolas.

I finished the game some time last week. I started playing one midnight and ended around 4am. Why? Because when the PSP batteries get drained and the PSP goes off, you can't resume your game! What's more, I have not saved any of my progress! So, I decided to get some sleep.

When I finally woke, it's time for the battle between the Fellowship and Mordor! I started all over because I can't let go of this game that easy. Aragorn is just so strong. And Legolas is just so hot. But really, they are both strong and hot.

I was spoiling my two heroes, Aragorn and Legolas. Not only because they were my favorite but also because they were the heroes often used in the game. It's the game that chooses the heroes to use - not me. That is why I have to invest in all of them: Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Gandalf, Frodo, and Sam.

Some things I'll always remember on my way to Mt. Doom:

Eomer can not perform ranged attacks. And I don't find him that strong either!

The moment Legolas releases the arrow and Aragorn thrusts Anduril (his sword), it's a sure kill. I <3 their tandem!

Gandalf is a wizard! Equip him with spells!

I always put Legolas in a high place. I don't make him move because he can fire arrows to anywhere. He looked so lazy. Hahaha.

I fell in love with Theoden. He's old but he's really strong.

Saruman is...EVIL.

Ents are better at melee attacks but it's hard to keep them alive.

Legolas is an elf. He's better with bows and arrows. Aragorn is a ranger. He's better with swords. Use them where they're good at; you'll taste the sweet fruit.

***

The last stage is the Battle of the Morannon or the Battle of the Black Gate.

Mission Objectives: Aragorn must survive. Frodo must get to Mt. Doom (which means Frodo must survive too).

This was the final major battle against Sauron in the War of the Ring, fought at the Black Gate of Mordor. The Army of the West, led by Aragorn, marched on the gate as a diversionary feint to distract Sauron's attention from Frodo and Sam, who were carrying the One Ring through Mordor.

-wikipedia.org

So...my heroes were Aragorn and Gandalf accompanied by two Gondor soldiers and faced with a lot of creatures from Mordor. On the other side stood my two other heroes, Frodo and Sam. More enemies were here. Plus Sauron and the Mouth of Sauron!

As the stage progressed, more and more Mordor reinforcements arrive. Meanwhile, no Fellowship reinforcements arrive because no Fellowship reinforcements shall arrive. Why have I no reinforcements?! And Sauron keeps on stunning my characters! I had to do this level a lot of times until I finally gave up. I did some optional quests to earn gold and buy my heroes skills. I bought Aragorn Army of the Dead, Call of Eagles for Gandalf, Ent Summon for Sam, and Light of Galadriel for Frodo. All skills are summoning skills.

Back in Morannon...

Aragorn tries hard to get to Frodo and Sam immediately and slays enemies ahead. Gandalf and the two Gondor soldiers slay all enemies blocking Aragorn and their paths.

Meanwhile, Sam protects Frodo by having Frodo stay behind him. As the hobbits try to defend themselves, Mordor reinforcements arrive.

After some turns, Aragorn's campaign has slain three enemies. Frodo and Sam defeat one. Sauron and Mouth of Sauron approach the hobbits. Enemies come nearer to the hobbits - this means melee combat for everyone. More Mordor reinforcements arrive. It's time to use new skills! Ents came and damaged all enemies. A flash of blinding light killed some. And eagles soared and did more damage.

Finally, all enemies ahead of Aragorn were slain. However, my two Gondor soldiers have fallen. With Frodo behind him, Sam came face to face with Sauron. Aragorn and Gandalf were too far but close enough to perform ranged attacks.

What happened on my last turn?

Sam was stunned so he remained frozen between Sauron and Frodo.
Frodo misses Sauron. (Gosh, nag-miss pa siya!)
Gandalf restores Aragorn's health.
And Aragorn fires an arrow to Sauron.

Then, VICTORY!

A cutscene comes showing the battle of the Fellowship and Mordor outside the Morannon. So that's where my other heroes are - outside the Morannon.

Mt. Doom erupted. And between their own fights, my heroes stopped. They looked up the erupting Mt. Doom and smiled. Legolas smiled! *dies*

One whispered, "Frodo."

Everyone, of the Fellowship or of Mordor, knew what had happened. The ring was destroyed. And it was victory for the Fellowship.

And just like any other game I have finished, I stared at the credits and said, "Tapos na?"

You know what? It doesn't help investing in only one character. Wait, I know this beforehand. It doesn't help investing in only two or three characters. Every single unit is needed. Invest in them. Use them. The same goes with real life.

It's surprising how much can happen in one turn. If Gimli moves here, he might get caught between Lurtz and a Ringwraith. But if you move a ranger there, he could take care of the Ringwraith and leave Gimli with Lurtz. On that single turn depends your defeat or your victory. Decide wisely.

Be prepared. Bring sachels of fresh athelas and sachels of lembas bread cakes to restore your lost HP and AP.

It's okay to ask for help once in a while. Summon an eagle, or Ents, or the Light of Galadriel.

And finally, teamwork? I really loved how I spent my last turn. Sam was so loyal to Frodo. He protected him from ALL enemy attacks. He was courageous too! He was ready to do hand to hand combat with Sauron, until he was stunned. Frodo tried to do damage to Sauron but failed - probably because Sam was in the way. Aragorn arrived just in time to find that Sauron was so close to the hobbits and he fires an arrow from afar. I will die if Aragorn misses Sauron's head. And Gandalf heals the wounded Aragorn - Aragorn slayed a LOT of enemies.

My characters are so sweet. ♥

Really, I am in love. If you only knew how I spoke and acted the night I finished the game. I am so in love I want to watch the movies again. And read the books!

Sore Feet

2009-06-04T11:05:00.009+08:00

I went to the university last Monday. And last Tuesday.

I attended the IB orientation last Monday which includes introducing you to your blockmates, knowing what to expect, and going to places where a freshman might usually go to. I was an hour late for the orientation because I had trouble finding where the place was. Palma Hall is big (or is it just me?).

On the way home, I was standing in the bus again. See, I was also standing on my way to Magallanes. Anyway, the ride home was so much better because, for some reasons, it did not make me sick.

Part 2 of the university trip begins here.

I decided to leave home late that morning because I was just supposed to pay for my tuition fee. And I believe that long queues at the cashier do not form that early. When I got there, "some person" told me that it was closed and that I should go to the office instead. And where is that? At the back of the Philippine National Bank (PNB). And again, where is that?

I got in a UP Toki with a group of college students.

Friend 1: Si [insert name here], ang aga aga, nanglalait ng freshman.
Friend 2: Hindi ah.
Friend 3: Bakit, ano ba sabi?
Friend 1: Sabi niya kanina, eto, freshman 'to.
Friend 2: Kasi halata naman eh. Tumitingin kung saan-saan.
Friend 1: O, tingnan mo.
Group of friends: *laughs*

Ate, freshman din ako. But I didn't say that. LOL.

And after having trouble finding PNB, I finally joined the long queue. Just then, the guard told us that tuition fees are to be paid at the OUR. What?! After having a difficult time of finding this, you're going to send me back there? So, the people who were supposed to be paying for tuition fees left for the OUR.

I was so tired and disappointed that I lost the will to pay. Hahaha.

"Ate Ange. Tawagan mo 'ko."

My sister was very prompt. My cellphone was ringing a minute after my message was sent. I narrated how my trip went.

Ate Ange: Asan ka ba?
Me: Nasa UP.
Ate Ange: Aah. Ako din eh. Sa CS.
Me: O?! Ba't 'di mo sinabi?! Really. I was scolding her here. Hahaha.
***
Ate Ange: 'Di pumunta ka sa OUR. Hindi mo alam kung pa'no pumunta 'dun?
Me: Alam ko! Kaso..*rant* *rant*
Ate Ange: Aah. Lunch time na eh. Kain muna tayo. Asan ka ba?
Me: PNB.
Ate Ange: Okay, pupunta na 'ko d'yan.

See what a great sister she is?

So we walked to the "Bahay ng Alumni" and ate a hearty meal at "The Chocolate Kiss" - that's where she always takes me to eat. Yay!

Again, we walked to the OUR and I joined the long queue for payments. At UP, the word "queue" always goes with "long". Hehehe. After finally receiving my hard-earned receipt, I was informed that I have to join an even longer queue for the miscellaneous fees - ID fee.

Poor sister. She looked really bored. It was good that she decided to go to the ComSci Department to save time. She was supposed to shift advisors - or something like that.

At last, I finally received my photo ID schedule. That was the last part of the enrollment. Now, how to get to the ComSci Department. My sister told me that it lies right in front of the NIGS, so I asked a jeepney driver if he could take me to NIGS.

Lakarin mo na lang mas malapit. *shows directions*

So...I walked. And there I was, at the College of Engineering. Surprisingly, I got there before my sister did. She left before I did and she even got herself a ride! The driver was right. Walking would save me time.

My sister went in to find her advisor which might take long. It was my turn to wait. Unfortunately, the person was not there. It was time for me to go home and for my sister to return to her office.

I managed to grab a seat in the bus this time. I deserve it after what I had from the MRT ride. Haha.

The story doesn't end here. Well, almost.

It was a relief when I finally got home (gosh, I never appreciated home like this before). I could take off my shoes now. Yay! I washed my feet with soap and water and rubbed them with foot lotion. I was really spoiling my feet. I even used my sister's soft, fuzzy slippers because my feet were sore. Yeah, they're really sore. And they're red.

Part 1: Untitled

2009-05-28T20:59:00.001+08:00

One day, the princess got so bored she decided to read the drafts in her email accounts. She went on for hours until she stumbled upon her Google documents. And memories rushed back to her mind.

Joyce: Sinong gagawa ng story? Alyzza, ikaw na lang.
Alyzza: Hah? Eh...tungkol saan?
Effie: ...
Joyce: *whisper* *whisper*
Effie: Sige!! Tapos...*whisper* *whisper*
Alyzza: Haha. Okay. Sino 'yung babae?
Joyce: I am in love with Sei Satou. Name her Sei Satou.
Alyzza: Okay. And I am in love with Mr. Darcy.
Joyce: Let's call him Darcy. Darcy Maxwell.

I can't remember what we said exactly but it went something like that.

You know when the city hall got on fire? Well that morning, Alyzza turned her computer and typed. After some hours, she printed the story and off she went to the mall. She met her classmates there because they were supposed to celebrate for winning [for the very first time] an interlevel school contest. She gave the copy of the story to Joyce and their class decided to have their picture taken which she still keeps in her wallet this very second.

I can't believe how very vivid this day still is for me. I can continue telling details of this but it isn't what this post is all about.

Going back...the next Monday...

Joyce: Tapos ko na 'yung book! (With all the drawings and nice pages with a feminine touch. Feminine, yes, that's Joyce.) Ano'ng title?
Alyzza: Sei Satou and Darcy Maxwell! Hahaha. *suggests more lame titles*
Effie: *suggests hilarious titles*
Joyce: Hahaha. Ano na nga?
Alyzza: Untitled. Wala tayo maisip eh.
Joyce: Untitled na lang?
Effie: Ayos lang.
Alyzza: 'Pag wala kang naisip, Untitled na lang.

Joyce couldn't think of a better title so thus, the name of our English project: Untitled.

P.S.
Posting the story here will make this extremely long. Scroll for "Untitled".

Part 2: Untitled

2009-05-28T20:39:00.004+08:00

Darcy

"I don't want to go to that place. I don't know their culture. I don't know their language. Please send me to any place but there." Darcy Maxwell, a skilled British photographer, complained.

"But you did say that you want to see the world," his boss reasoned. "Darcy, I know that you will never say 'no' to the beautiful views and wonderful festivals of Japan. Besides, I will give you a good lump of sum for this project. And I promise that you will stay in an English-speaking inn with very hospitable people."

Darcy went back to his home. He considered his boss's offer. If I go to Japan, I'd stay there for probably 8 months. It's a very long time and I would certainly miss my life back here. Going there may be worth the experience. He did promise me a fine inn and a good lump of money.

Sei Satou

"Why do we have to scrub the floors thrice? And the windows twice? Who is this Darcy Maxwell, anyway? Is he the emperor?" Sei Satou complained.

"Mr. Darcy Maxwell is a very great photographer, whatever that is. He would come from Britain tomorrow. We must make sure that this man would stay longer. He must be impressed with our inn and find our people approachable, nice and hospitable." her mother explained. "I know that you despised men ever since your father left us. You were very young then and--"

"Mom, please stop retelling me his tale. Who would love a story about a five year-old girl whose father left to marry a despicable woman just because he got her pregnant?!"

"Do not speak of your father in that way, Sei Satou. He will always be your father. Now, change the sheets in the 19th room." her mom scolded.

Sei Satou climbed the stairs and listened to the creaking her each step made. Mom would never admit that father didn't love us. Men don't know love. Oh, and I hate this Darcy. He would probably just boast about their fine culture and enjoy Mom's extra care.

Darcy

The long trip made him so exhausted. He arrived at the inn, received his key and went directly to his room. Darcy never bothered to speak to any of the workers nor to the innkeeper. He lied on his soft bed and drifted off to sleep.

KNOCK! KNOCK!

Darcy was awakened by this. He turned the knob to see the face of a boyish Japanese girl.

"Who are you?" Darcy asked, annoyed.

"Mom wants to see you downstairs. She's inviting you for dinner." the girl replied, never bothering to answer Darcy's question. With that, the girl left.

Darcy, surprised by the warm welcome of the innkeeper and the girl's cold invitation, changed then went downstairs.

He saw the girl and approached her. He sat on the cushion beside her but before he opened his mouth to speak, the girl snapped, "That's mom's seat."

Darcy stood and took the cushion across the girl. He didn't bother to speak for he didn't know what to say. Afraid that he might get shouted at by the girl again, he looked around the room and observed the furniture. Everything was made of wood. Then a thin, middle-aged woman came followed by a man carrying food.

"Hi! I'm Sachiko Satou, the innkeeper and this is my daughter, Sei Satou," the woman said.

So that's the innkeeper's daughter, Sei Satou. Why does she act that way, anyway? Darcy asked himself.

Before Darcy could speak, there was a bowl of rice in front of him with lots of sauce. Then he remembered that he couldn't use the chopsticks very well. He took the bowl and the chopsticks. There's no turning back.

"Please put your food back, sir," Sachiko Satou said then turned to her daughter.

Sei Satou, knowing what her mother meant, said, "itadakimasu".

Darcy, afraid he might make a mistake again, observed the two ladies. Seeing that the two had taken their food already, he took his. He had a hard time using the chopsticks. He could only put a few grains of rice in his mouth. He didn't even know what the food tastes like. Seeing that the ladies had put back their bowls back on the table, he put back his too. He stopped eating though he was still starving. He doesn't want others to watch while he eats. He sipped his tea then put it back, smiling.

"Gochisosama," Sachiko Satou whispered.

Sei Satou

Sei Satou knocked on Room #19.

"Who are you?" the man asked.

Sei Satou was startled at his question. How rude of him. Instead of answering his question, she told him her purpose and hurriedly left. She sat on the cushion and looked outside. Suddenly, the man came. How dare he sit beside me! I had to tell him that it was my mom's seat.

Sei Satou was surprised by the man's silence. He didn't talk throughout the dinner, which she found good. The dinner went smoothly for her until she saw that Darcy did not empty his bowl. It's a good manner for Japanese people to empty their dishes up to the last grain of rice. Darcy haven't even eaten half of his food.

Darcy

He never wanted the dinner happen again. He never wanted to be be embarrassed again.

I must not stay in the inn. I would leave early each morning and arrive late at night everyday. It's the only plan he thought to stay away from them and avoid turning down the innkeeper's invitations. I don't want to see the innkeeper become sad because of my refusal so I'd rather hide. Unfortunately, I don't know how to go where. He thought best not to stay too far from the inn. One day, Darcy woke a bit later.

KNOCK! KNOCK!

Darcy grabbed his robe. His heart was beating so fast. Please, tell me it's not Sei Satou. He prayed. He opened the door and greeted, "Good Morning!"

"Mom wants to see you at dinner tonight," Sei Satou replied, ignoring the greeting.

"I--"

"Please don't tell me 'I can't'," Sei Satou interrupted. "Mom prepared dinner every night, hoping that you would come early. She would definitely enjoy having dinner with you. Seeing her customers enjoy her company is her only pleasure. Please come."

"If I come, would you promise to act a little warmer to me?" Darcy asked.

"Okay. I would do it for mom." Sei Satou agreed then turned her back.

"And one thing more," Darcy called back but Sei Satou stood still, her back on Darcy. "Help me with my work. I need to take pictures of Japan."

Sei Satou nodded silently and hurried downstairs.

Sei Satou

This man is blackmailing me. If only I don't love my mom so much, I wouldn't agree spending my precious time with him.

He never really stayed far from the inn. I always see him in the restaurants or walking in the streets.

"Mom, I convinced the man to see you for dinner," Sei Satou called to her mom. "Thank you, Sei Satou. Please act warmer to Mr. Maxwell. You probably scare him." her mother replied with a chuckle. "By the way, have you greeted him a 'Happy Valentine's Day'?" her mother added but Sei Satou was gone.

Darcy

Darcy was glad to know that Sei Satou would act warmer to him. On the other side, he was scared to use the chopsticks in front of her again tonight.

He entered a restaurant and ordered Ramen, a noodle soup with various toppings. He took the chopsticks and practiced using them. Soup spilled all over the table and his shirt. He dropped some of his vegetables too but he continued eating. After an hour or so, he emptied his bowl and admired his perseverance.

He entered another shop decorated with red hearts of different sizes.

"Good morning!" the saleslady greeted.

Darcy ignored the greeting and looked for a box of chocolates. After going through the shelves repeatedly, he finally found the perfect box of chocolates. He paid for it then went back to the restaurant he once were in to have lunch. He ordered Ramen again and discovered his improvement. He dropped less vegetables and prevented the toppings to splash on the soup which spilled on his shirt earlier.

He also noted that he emptied his bowl 25 minutes earlier. He was back in the inn early.

"Mr. Maxwell!" Sachiko Satou called.

Darcy approached her and saw Sei Satou seated beside her. He took again the cushion across Sei Satou's.

"Thank you for the invitation," Darcy said.

"It is my job to keep my customers happy," Sachiko Satou replied, smiling. She turned to Sei Satou who instantly said "itadakimasu".

They took their bowls and started to eat. It was the same food, rice with sauce. This time, he enjoyed the food and remembered its taste. He finished just after the ladies put their bowls back down.

"Gochisosama," Sachiko Satou whispered.

"Did you enjoy the meal, Mr. Maxwell?" Sachiko satou asked.

"Very much," Darcy replied happily.

Darcy and the innkeeper exchanged stories. Darcy talked about his adventures in France, Germany and Finland while Sachiko Satou talked about her experiences with her customers. They both gasped and laughed until late at night. Sei Satou listened silently and yawned throughout the conversation.

When the three of them stood, the innkeeper collected the bowls and left.

Darcy turned to Sei Satou and said, "I expect you to tour me around the city tomorrow." He handed the box of chocolates, smiled then greeted, "Happy Valentine's Day!"

Sei Satou's jaw dropped. And she ran to the kitchen.

Sei Satou

Sei Satou was surprised of Darcy's early arrival. She didn't really expect him to come but she was glad he did. Her mother was glad too. She was surprised to see Darcy empty his bowl. It made her think that Darcy was nice. Until he talked about his adventures.

I knew that Darcy would just boast of his experiences. Men are all the same. And he gave me chocolates! He insulted me! A girl with short hair doesn't mean that she's a man. Men are given chocolates on the 14th of February. Women are given during the White Day! I hate him!

"Sei Satou, forgive him. He doesn't know a thing about our culture. He's from Europe, you can't expect him to know everything about Japan. He probably had a hard time finding the perfect box of chocolates for you. I don't want to lose him. He's such a great man. Sei Satou, please be friends with the poor man. You don't know anything about men. Don't you know he's trying to befriend you?" Sachiko Satou explained.

"I know everything perfectly well about them," Sei Satou snapped.

Darcy

Darcy couldn't understand Sei Satou's reaction last night. He left the inn early like he used to do. He didn't expect Sei Satou to tour him around the city after what happened last night.

Thinking that he's stuck in a place where people speak differently and where people don't act normal, he felt lost. He wanted to return to Britain, the place he calls home. The place he knows very well. He entered a shop and browsed through the books. He found "So You Wouldn't Be Lost While You're Here" and flipped through its pages. It's a guide on how to survive the Japanese people. This is what I need. He thought. He paid for the book and went to his favorite restaurant.

Darcy, excited on the festivals Japan celebrates, turned the page about Japanese festivities. He looked for the month of February and read:

February 14: On this day, women traditionally give chocolates to their special men, as well as to their male coworkers.

He reread the statement and realized his mistake. Next he read:

March 13: Peach Festival. Girls display a set of dolls dressed in costumes of courtiers of the Heian period. Many families pass these dolls from generation to generation. Other customs include displaying peach blossoms; eating red, white and green diamond-shaped mochi; and drinking shirozake, a white beverage. According to an old wives' tale, a girl who leaves her dolls on display after this holiday will be late to marry.

March 14: White Day. On this Japanese twist on Valentine's Day, a man buys his special woman a treat.

Darcy smiled. So March 14 is the right day to give women chocolates. But she should have understood my mistake. She knows that I'm foreign.

Sei Satou

Sei Satou noticed Darcy's habitual absence. She felt sorry for him. It wasn't probably his fault. Mom's right. Maybe I should give him a chance.

Sei Satou woke very early the next day. She helped her mom cook mochi, a Japanese rice cake. They cook rice cakes every 13th of March to celebrate the Peach Festival.

"Mr. Maxwell!" Sei Satou called when she spotted Darcy approach the inn's exit. "Please, don't leave today. Today we celebrate the Peach Festival and um..Mom wants you to celebrate it with us."

Sachiko Satou chuckled then continued molding the paste into diamond-shaped mochi.

Darcy stopped, smiled then went back to his room.

Sei Satou couldn't speak. What's with him? He didn't say a word. I'm sure I was polite. Sei Satou thought then continued helping her mom.

Darcy

Darcy woke up early, as usual, but had different plans. He planned to take pictures of how Japanese people prepare for the Peach Festival but Sei Satou forbade him to leave.

What's with her? She acts so unusual. Her mother might have scolded her. Darcy wondered.

He loaded his camera with film and wiped its lens with a clean white cloth. He left his room and for the first time in his stay in Japan, he touched his camera and will finally use it.

He entered the kitchen and saw Sachiko and Sei Satou molding white paste. He took some pictures of them. He could see that Sei Satou was a bit annoyed but she tried hard to hide it.

Sei Satou

What's with the camera, anyway? I hate that thing. Can't he just lock his self in his room until we're done? Sei Satou carried a box and brought out her dolls. She arranged them on a five-tiered stand covered with a red carpet. There were 2 dolls on the top, 3 dolls on the second step, 5 dolls on the third, 2 dolls on the fourth and 3 on the last step.

"Do you mind telling me the purpose of the dolls?" came a voice.

Sei Satou looked up and saw Darcy. "Well, at the top are the emperor and empress. The next step contains three court ladies, followed by five musicians, two ministers, and three servants at the bottom. It's a tradition."

Sachiko Satou came and handed each of them a cup of shirozake. Sei Satou sipped then continued arranging her dolls. There were clicks again from the camera but Sei Satou ignored it this time.

"It's shirozake. Come taste our mochi. It's a cake made of glutinous rice." Sei Satou said.

His joke wasn't funny. I may look like a boy but it doesn't mean that I'd never get married.

Darcy

Darcy went downstairs and was surprised to see boyish Sei Satou play with dolls. Darcy found Sei Satou friendlier today. I was about to ask her if she could take me see the city. The innkeeper came and handed us a cup of what seemed like a white drink. Sei Satou said that it's called shirozake. It tastes like wine. The mochi was fine too. I'm glad I won't use chopsticks again.

The festival was fine before it lasted.

"You know, you should keep your dolls before tonight ends. You might get married at a very old age." Darcy joked.

Sei Satou left and went to the kitchen.

Sei Satou

Sei Satou left the inn and returned just before Darcy left.

"Mr. Maxwell," Sei Satou called and handed a box of chocolates. "Men are supposed to give chocolates today but I decided to give you instead."

Darcy thanked her and asked her to wait for her. Darcy was back after a few minutes and handed her the box of chocolates he bought a month ago.

"You did say that men are supposed to give chocolates today. So, will you take me around the city?" Darcy asked.

Sei Satou took Darcy to the Matsumoto Castle.

"This is one of the National Treasures of Japan. My favorite part is the Donjon Tower." Sei Satou said. She took him up the tower then said, "This is the topmost floor, the sixth floor. Here, we have a shrine to the god of 26 nights." Rain began to pour. "I would usually come here when I feel sad. And sometimes, when I feel extremely sad, I would shower in the rain. Then I would forget all my problems and feel so carefree. Would you like to try it?" Sei Satou asked.

Before Darcy could say 'yes', they were already laughing and dancing in the rain. The rain stopped when dark came.

"I always loved the moon. You would certainly love to see it." Sei Satou pulled his arm then went to the Yagura. "Open the mairado," she ordered pointing to the three sliding doors.

"Thank you for taking me here," Darcy whispered.

But Sei Satou didn't seem to hear him. "This room is especially designed to view the moon and is called the 'moon room'. See the moon?" she asked pointing to the sky.

Darcy

Darcy prayed for the night not to end. He wanted to play with boyish Sei Satou in the rain again. He loved the moon, it shone with brilliance, sitting on its throne. He took the film out of his camera and kept it. He reloaded it before going to bed.

It was a fine April morning. Sei Satou found Darcy nice, or so he thought.

KNOCK! KNOCK!

Darcy opened the door and saw the usual face of Sei Satou.

"Mom wants to take you to our picnic. We always celebrate Hanami today. It means cherry blossom viewing. You will definitely love the cherry blossoms because I love them. Please come." Sei Satou begged.

"I would be glad to go with you. Let me get my camera first." with that Sei Satou disappeared down the stairs.

Sei Satou

Sei Satou lied on the picnic blanket while Sachiko prepared their food. Darcy kept taking pictures.

"I always loved cherry blossoms. When I was a kid, I was once tried to make a dress made of cherry blossoms." Sei Satou told Darcy.

"I have always been excited to see cherry blossoms. I wish I lived in Japan." Darcy replied watching the kids play.

Sachiko served the riceballs wrapped in nori, thin dried seaweed sheets.

"Mr. Maxwell, why don't you try to say 'itadakimasu'?" Sachiko Satou asked him.

"Itadakimasu," Darcy whispered, confused.

"It means 'I gratefully receive'. We say it before we eat. Then we say 'gochichosama' which means 'Thank you for the meal' after eating." Sei Satou explained.

They ate the riceballs while they talked and laughed.

"You use your chopsticks better now," Sei Satou complimented.

"I have been here since February. I should know by now how to use it." Darcy replied with a smile. They laughed and exchanged stories, this time including Sei Satou, until it's time for them to go home.

Darcy

Darcy bumped to Sei Satou this morning. She gave him a pink strip of paper then left.

He looked for Sachiko Satou in the kitchen and asked, "What do I do with this strip of paper?"

"That is where you will write you wishes and romantic aspirations. We tie it to a bamboo tonight and who knows, it might come true." the innkeeper chuckled then continued with her work.

Darcy returned to his room and took out his pen. He lied on his bed for an hour but couldn't think of anything to write.

"Darcy! Give me your strip of paper now. It's time for us to tie it to the bamboo." Sei Satou called from outside.

They went out of the inn and tied their strips of paper to the bamboo. "Today is the Star Festival. We celebrate it on the 7th month of the year, on its 7th day. On this day two stars, Altair and Vega, that are usually separated from each other by the Milky Way, come together." Sei Satou explained. "There's a lot you need to learn from our culture. It's fun learning it, anyway."

Sachiko Satou motioned for them to go inside. The innkeeper prepared rice and tempura tonight which Darcy found easier to eat. Sei Satou and Darcy returned outside after eating.

So what did you wish for?" Sei Satou asked Darcy.

"That I had already found the girl I was searching for," Darcy replied. "And what did you wish for?"

"That the man I was looking for would never leave," Sei Satou answered.

Sei Satou

Sei Satou sat and began to write.

"What's that for?" Darcy asked. "The next Star Festival would come next year, you know."

"It's another wish, a wish for the people who departed. The Bon Festival ends tonight. We will float lighted candles in small paper lanterns tonight. Do you have something to wish for the people you know who died?" Sei Satou asked.

But Darcy was gone.

Darcy

Darcy was glad to know that there's another celebration. He fetched his camera and returned downstairs.

"Hurry!" Sei Satou called. "Mom had already left."

"Where do you float your paper lanterns?" Darcy asked.

"In the river," Sei Satou replied quickly.

"Today is August 15. When is the next celebration?" Darcy asked again.

"On the 9th of September, we celebrate the Chrysanthemum Festival," Sei Satou answered.

"I'd leave on the 11th of September," Darcy informed sadly.

"Leave? Why are you going to leave?" she asked, surprised.

"I was here because I have work to do. My job would be done soon, I can't stay any longer."

"I guess there's no sense in writing wishes during the Star Festival," she said sadly.

"Huh?" Darcy asked, confused.

But Sei Satou had ran to the river to release her paper lantern.

Sei Satou

Sei Satou was glad to know that Darcy would help her make a robe made of fresh chrysanthemum flowers for a life-size doll.

"It's a part of the Chrysanthemum Doll Fete," Sei Satou said. "This festival is the least celebrated of the five seasonal celebrations."

There were clicks from the camera again. Sei Satou, after 7 months, got used to the usual clicking of the camera.

Sei Satou decided to tidy up Darcy's room the next day. He would leave soon so he decided to take one last visit to the Matsumoto Castle.

She found the box of chocolates she had given Darcy during White Day. She removed the lid and saw photos, photos of women she had never seen before. They were undoubtedly Europeans. Each of them was dressed in different gowns; red, purple, black, gold. Sei Satou's hopes crashed. I thought that he liked me. I was waiting for him to tell me he loves me but he never did. He might tell me later but I'm glad I knew of his women collection earlier. I didn't know I was falling for him. And it breaks my heart to know that he has a women collection. I'm glad he never told me about his feelings. I could have fainted and given my everything to him. Tears streamed from her eyes. She left the room and waited for the rain to pour. Unfortunately, it did not.

Darcy

Darcy climbed the Donjon Tower. He would certainly miss this place, the first place he had gone to with Sei Satou, the woman he loved. He thought of the moments he had with Sei Satou. He planned to print Sei Satou's photos when he arrives in Britain. He couldn't wait to show his photos in an exhibit.

On the 11th of September, Darcy looked for Sei Satou. She was nowhere to be found. Darcy left with sadness, unable to bid his beloved goodbye.

Back in Britain, Darcy became very depressed. To get rid of his depression, he showered in the rain a lot of times. He got very ill because of this. Darcy soon discovered that he was suffering from pneumonia. Knowing that he would die soon, he asked his boss to wrap Sei Satou's pictures in a paper patterned with pink cherry blossoms, which he knew was Sei Satou's favorite. He asked his boss to send it to Japan.

Sei Satou

Sei Satou received a strange package one morning. It had a familiar scent but she did not know whom it belonged to. She ripped the package open and found pictures, her pictures. There were pictures when she had falling cherry blossoms behind her, when she was arranging the dolls during the Peach Festival, when she was floating paper lanterns, when she was burning the bamboo during the Japanese Star Festival, when she was in the Donjon Tower at the Matsumoto Castle and a lot more. A letter dropped from the package, it read:

Sei Satou,

Thank you for showing me around Japan. And for teaching me your culture. I was completely and incandescently happy being with you and I must say I love you. But I fear we might not see each other anymore. Where were you when I left, anyway? Anyway, don't forget to pray for me on the 15th of August. Please use a blue paper lantern. Thank you.

With love,
Darcy Maxwell

**end

P.S.
If there are any illogical references, don't comment harshly. I'm an amateur. Hehe.

New Layout

2009-05-18T23:51:00.002+08:00

After what seemed like 9 hours, I have finally finished my blog layout.

When I temporarily changed my layout into a plain white one, I remember someone telling me to go change my layout because it was too simple and white was too bright, wth? I was too busy slacking so I didn't mind his comment.

I realized that ~~summer~~ vacation is about to end. From the news, I heard that summer has really ended so...there. Vacation. And sleeping and slacking. And surfing 24/7. Sigh.

Anyway, I didn't want to be stuck in a plain white layout for a whole year so I decided to change mine now. Actually, I wanted to make up for my extreme laziness because I spent the whole day sleeping. So there...my 9 hours. I'm not very good in these stuff: codes, tags, and the like.

I copied the theme from my Multiply, Stories&Photographs. So...Blogger=Stories and Multiply=Photographs. I just remembered that one of my summer projects is stuffing more photos in Multiply. There goes a pending job for next summer.

CamSur Trip

2009-05-04T21:48:00.006+08:00

This is late, but I'll post it anyway.

Last April, I got to try kneeboarding at the CamSur Watersports Complex (CWC).

At first I thought it was easy, but no, it was not that easy. I was really excited about this. I wouldn't go to Bicol if it weren't for the kneeboarding, seriously. So, we registered ourselves and joined the 'kneeboarding queue'. I was watching the newbies; some of them were good and some of them were...well, they didn't manage to get too far. What if I don't get too far? What if I fall right after the cable pulled me to the water? What if, what if, what if, what if?

And then I saw my sister Angel being pulled away. It was my turn. I took a deep breath and held on to the cable tightly. I crouched really low to balance myself easily. This was an advice from the briefing. I felt a strong tug. Suddenly, I was being dragged away from the shore. The experience was exhilarating. It felt so good to feel the water splash on my face. It was as if my face was being sprinkled with freshwater. It felt exhilarating.

Suddenly, I saw a familiar face. My sister was adrift. I was heading for my sister's head! But I can't turn to the other way, I can't. I don't know how to do it. All the time I was traveling on a straight line, or so I thought. I was relieved when she managed to duck her head underwater as I zoom on the surface, above her head. I'm glad I didn't kill her. I'm even more glad that she was my older sister. What could have happened if she were my younger sister, who does not even know how to swim?

I was going on a smooth pace again until I felt the cable loosen. I was bending around the circle. Following the advice from the briefing, I made a tighter grip and pulled the cable in. I must keep the tension on it strong or I would fall. I did it but the cable began to accumulate more tension. My arms started to weaken. I felt a strong tug, like the first tug I felt. I couldn't hold it any longer. I felt exhausted. I released the cable and for a few seconds I felt I was sinking, swallowed by the waters.

I was pushed back on the surface of the water and I realized that I was alone. I was in the middle of the lake and there was no one around. I tried to swim back to the shore but I couldn't. My legs were too weak. I stayed on where I was for a few more moments. Suddenly, there came other wakeboarders and kneeboarders. I was scared they might hit me. A man came and pulled me to the shore. And there were my sisters, sitting happily on the 'rescue truck'. We laughed and exchanged experiences as the truck brought us back to the starting line.

It was fun so we decided to fall in line again. Our second times were neither as long nor as good as our first times. We didn't get to go even just a little far from the starting line T-T I suggested that we take a break first.

After a long break, we rejoined the 'kneeboarding queue'. It would be our last ride. For some reasons, we needed to get back to Albay immediately. We promised to try to get as far as we can so we would not have to fall in line again to make the most out of the last ride. I failed to make a complete revolution around the lake but I did manage to get a little farther from where I first fell off. I was able to swim back to the shore and wait for the 'rescue truck' to pick me up and take me back to the starting line.

I realized some things on the way back to Albay. Life is fun, though limited. Don't waste time ranting and crying about some downfalls. Sure you can take a break when you get tired, but don't take too long. ~~Your kneeboarding is only for two hours~~ Life is limited.

Don't envy other people if they did well during their first time. There are others who needed to do well, too.

Wisdom comes from experience. It does not hurt to listen to an expert's advice, it might make your ride better. Don't worry ~~if you don't get too far~~ if you screwed up; go back and restart. The people will help you fix yourself.

When you get stuck or you feel alone, have faith. Someone will come.

Sometimes people ~~will try to kill you~~ will try to hurt you. Don't fight back; you might hurt yourself. ~~Duck your head~~ Stay away from these people.

Once you get the hang of kneeboarding, you can go around and around. You can stop whenever you want to. But remember, you can always fall in line again.

The ride is short, but it's fun and exhilarating.

And the last thing I realized, I needed to work out. I will be needing strong arms the next time I get to CWC.

What To Do When You're Lost

2009-05-04T19:21:00.006+08:00

Okay. What to do when you found yourself lost and scared in the middle of a strange place. The first thing to do would be to find a way to get back or at least, to get to the nearest place you know well. Suddenly, you find your heart beating so fast because you don't know how to get there.

My sister Angel would recommend this guide.

How to get there:
1. Hail a cab.
2. Tell the driver to take you to [insert location here].
3. Pay the driver.

That's how she gave me the directions to get to Humana some weeks ago. Haha. But I can't follow her guide because I might get broke. I mean, I'm not scared to get broke. I'm afraid of what Dad might say if I get broke because I got lost. See, I suddenly found myself lost in the wilderness of Pasay City. What?! How the heck did I get here? And I don't know how many miles I'm far away from where I should be so I couldn't take a cab. I might end up begging for alms in the busy streets of Manila. Yeah, I don't know how I got to Manila.

Then I saw an LRT! Finally, a thing familiar to me. I sort of know the stations and if you follow the LRT line correctly, you might get to where you wanted to be. I'm making this clear; I saw an LRT, not an LRT station. So I followed the route until there it was, the station! I remember walking past PLM on the way to the station, Ate Daphne popped to my mind. I also saw the "Kalaw St." sign Effie was talking about when she was giving us (me and Errol) directions on how to get to UST. That reminds me, we were late during the USTET. I'm sorry, Errol!

Going back, I found the station! So I danced around a bit and stopped when I discovered that it doesn't have a straight route to Ayala. I had it take me to EDSA, instead. Then I traveled under the scorching sun and got in a bus with an "Ayala (Ibabaw)" sign. A kind man told me that if I get in one with "Ilalim", I'll miss Ayala once it goes back up again. You know what, I almost forgot his advice. Hahaha.

Happiness filled me when I saw the buildings of Ayala. I was hopping and dancing again! I got off at Ayala Station and bade the bus goodbye. And I saw SM, and Glorietta, and oh, the Ayala skies! Finally, a place I know! Figuratively and somehow literally, I never saw the skies in Pasay. And Manila. It was hot. It was dark. It was crowded. It was strange. I was scared. Haha.

I walked to 6750 Bldg, and got in an elevator. Then I discovered that the elevator I was at can't take me to the 14^th floor. It can only go as far as 10^th floor? I don't know. I can't remember. Then I was like, what the heck? Am I lost again? In a building?! Please don't tell me that I'm at the wrong one and this is not 6750. I got off the elevator and got in one of the elevators on the other side. Thank God there was Button #14.

I met the kind receptionist again and she asked me to sit and wait for my sister. I waited for like, 15 minutes? What's taking my sister so long? I want to see someone I know. And she suddenly appeared, as if coming down from the heavens. I couldn't wait to tell her all the stuff I had gone through. And how I was oh-so happy that I'm back. And how I'm very proud that I didn't take a cab.

And she did what any other sister would do.

Sister: Ano ba 'yan? Akala ko ba marunong ka na?
Me:Akala ko din eh.
S:Pa'no ka nakarating sa Pasay? Wahahahaha.
M: Ewan, nadaanan 'ko pa nga ung La Salle eh.
S: Sa Taft 'yun ah. Wahahahahaha.
M: Tapos nakita 'ko pa 'yung PLM, Rizal Park, UPM, PGH, at napakadami pang iba. Ang dilim pa. Ang init. Ang daming tao. Scary.
S: Ganun talaga dun. Kawawa ka naman. Wahahahaha.
M: Gutom na 'ko. Birthday mo naman 'di ba? Libre mo 'ko.
S: Ayaw.

And so I ate lunch with her and her colleagues.

S: Naligaw siya papunta dito. Nakarating siya sa Pasay.
Colleagues: OH?!?!
S: O, alam mo na kung saan ka pupunta.
M: Oo, Quezon Ave.
S: Anong Quezon Ave? Sasakay ka na ng bus.
M: Pupunta pa 'ko sa UP, sa UHS.
S: Alam mo kung pa'no pumunta dun?
M: Oo.
C: Sabihin mo sa driver sa University Health Service. 'Pag hindi niya alam, sabihin mo 'hospital'. Hospital. May katapat 'yun na bilog na structure. Bilog ah. Baka maligaw ka ulit.

After fighting my way to get in the MRT, I finally got to UP.

Note: Please don't tell me I'm so stupid for getting lost. And that I'm shallow. That would ruin my self-esteem ~~and believe me, it couldn't get any more ruined.~~ Hey, I managed to get back from a strange place. I fought my way into crowded trains. I didn't stumble while it was in motion. And, I wasn't holding on to anything. Haha.

Rain

2009-04-30T13:47:00.003+08:00

Have you ever been in so much pain? Have you ever cried so hard? So hard you thought that you're eyes are too dry to form tears again?

I have been spending my summer cooped inside the house because the clouds never cease to pour. I want to go out for a stroll. I want to meet with my friends. I want to play with my dog. I want to swim. I want to do things outside.

It would rain every afternoon. Sometimes it rains so hard I can't even go out to buy load. Now it rained all day. Sigh. I don't know but aren't the clouds also too dry to form raindrops? How much in pain are they?

It makes me feel cold, so cold that even a warm blanket and a cup of hot chocolate can't overcome. But it's good that it rains too. It cleanses the earth. It washes away the dirt. It satisfies the parched. It brings life.

Tears, however, maintain the moisture in the eyes, hydrate membranes, and keep it clean using lysozymes. It also makes people feel better. Why? Because when we cry, we eliminate hormones associated with stress.

When the sun comes out after a shower, its rays hit the raindrops creating magnificent rainbows. So the next time you cry, you should show something magnificent after.

15 Days After the Ides of March

2009-04-30T11:28:00.005+08:00

The story is typical. I just wanted to uhh...write.

On the dawn of the 30^th day of the summer, there slumbered a young princess who seemed to be having a dream. A very bad dream. Wrapped in her silk sheets, the princess lied completely still. She was making hushed noises. She was whimpering. The young princess looked pitiful. Someone must wake her and tell her that she had just had a bad dream. But fortune did not favor the princess; no one came to wake her.

The princess remained wrapped, still, and whimpering for about 6 hours. No dream had been recorded that long during the entire century. In fact, no one could actually dream that long. Alas! I was right. The princess had not been sleeping at all. She sat on her bed and continued to whimper. Then she stopped and lied on her bed. She stared blankly at the chandelier that hung above her. And tears started to fall again. The same things happened over and over.

The princess closed her eyes and allowed her memories rush into mind.

"Mom, I have been waiting for you and dad. How was the trip?"

"It was better than anything you can imagine, dear. Your father loved the village so much he wanted to stay there for a while."

"How long is that? I'm going to miss him."

"We don't know. He'll be back, I promise. Why don't you give mom a hug?"

##

"Mom, I can't sleep. I really miss dad. Did he send something, like letters or some sort?"

"I'm sorry, my dear, he did not. Come, I'll sing you a lullaby."

##

"Honey, why do you look so lonely?"

"I heard the servants talking about dad. They said that he was killed! Is that true, mom? Even the people in the kitchen and the guards are talking about it. Was dad killed?"

"Your dad? Killed? How could you believe such nonsense? Your father is a very good warrior."

"But they said--"

"Hush, love. You know how rumors go around the palace. Your father is in a very good condition. He will be back."

"If you said so, mom."

##

"Your dad is dead. Why can't you accept that? Everyone has been talking about it since your mom arrived."

"Believe whichever; I have no right against that. I trust my mom. She can't lie to me."

"Is it always 'because she's my mom'? You believe her because she said so, because she's your mom. Why don't you confront her about it?"

"I already did that but, okay."

##

"Mom?"

"Yes, dearest?"

"Do you have something to talk to me about? Something to tell? Something I really need to know?"

"Well, yes. Absolutely. I love you, honey. Now, off to bed."

"Is that all?"

"Yes. Do you want to talk about other things?"

"..."

"Goodness! Those rumors are bothering you again, aren't they? Haven't we talked about this already? "

"Mom, should I ask you one last time just so you won't tell me that I did not give time to hear you?"

"Look, there is something you should know."

"I could have guessed so."

"Your father, he's dead. Fifteen days after the Ides of March, I did it; I poisoned him. It was my fault, I'm so sorry. It's just that it happened so long ago and I don't know. I thought of not telling you yet."

"You--"

"Look, I was going to tell you. In time. I was just looking for the right time like, when your uncle and I get married tomorrow. I wanted you to be happy. And you love your uncle, don't you?"

"Yes, I do love my uncle."

"We are terribly sorry."

More tears rolled from the young princess' eyes. I wish that the princess was, indeed, just having a bad dream. About a month after her father's death, it was only then that the princess finally learned of her father's fate.

Pulling the Plug

2009-03-31T20:51:00.008+08:00

I was lying unconsciously in a vacuum—no, that could not be plain vacuity. I must be lying on something. I found it difficult to describe the place; opening my eyes was an impossible task. I could not even describe the scent of the place or explain how it feels like to exist in such a place. I tried to lift my hand and brush it on the surface I am lying on but I failed. I tried to move my head sideways but I was not successful. I discovered that I could not move. I could not even lift my finger!

I fell asleep and was woken by warmth. The air that blew on my face was the warmest I have ever felt. I did not know why but it was a moment of bliss. Soon I felt warm air in my ears. It went out fast. It lasted for only seconds. I presumed that someone was trying to whisper to me—trying to tell me something. But I could not make out the words. Then there was warmth on my forehead, 1…2…and it was gone. It burnt my forehead but I loved it. I tried to hold on but almost immediately, the warmth completely vanished. The air was cool again. The few seconds of warmth was a moment of bliss. I could have believed that the warmth was from my angel.

I felt disturbed. I could feel a presence of a crowd. There were voices—a variety of voices. Everyone was talking. They sound like arguing. I wanted to speak—shout and ask these people what was going on. Maybe I could help.

The voices continued. But this time, there were fewer voices. I assumed that the argument had faltered. I could make out little of what the remaining voices were saying. Pull. Plug.

Wait, what plug?

Soon I felt my body start to weaken. I felt like collapsing. I wanted to reach out and hold on to something before this vacuum engulfs me. But I could not gather enough strength to do so. I felt like drowning. I thought of calling for help but no words came out. I felt like…dying.

My body—it was dying. It was as if my heart and my lungs stopped working. Why? Work, I need blood and oxygen. But they remained frozen. I realized that they had been frozen since…I did not know how long. And ever so slowly, I descended into emptiness.

Puh-lease...

2009-03-26T18:09:00.006+08:00

Before I get ready for the grad ball tonight, I wish to blog first. I can't lose the moment to write about this. Also, I can't seem to make up a story parallel to this post so I will have to tell this straightforward. I am so sorry; it's hard for me to think of a story right now and finish it in 15 minutes.

I just came home from our graduation rites and it feels so...so...nah. It feels the same. Only that I have this diploma which certifies that I have satisfactorily completed the secondary curriculum the Department of Education (DepEd) has prescribed. Attached to it is a large photo of a long-haired me wearing a toga. Five more photos of me are stapled to an envelope.

I do not want to comment much on how the program flowed because I received what I needed anyway, my diploma. So...let's skip the boring bits. Finally, we have come to sing our grad song, Natalie Cole's "One Last Time". And I was hugging my classmates and taking lots and lots of pictures. This is mean but, I laughed at the people who cried. Haha. It's not that I think that they're ridiculous...but, you know me. It's sort of hard to make me cry, which reminds me, I didn't cry during our graduation from elementary. I did not cry in any of my graduations! Yay! Way back in elementary, I was so sure that I will be seeing my friends again in the same school. That school was Muntinlupa Science High School. And I was right, why cry? But today was so much different, I don't even know which college to go to yet. And all of us will be distributed to different colleges. Still, not a single tear was shed. Don't get me wrong; I love you, people :)

After a lot, lot more photos and a school hymn, my mom was nagging me to go home. I wanted to stay a little longer because I have around 78 friends I want to take pictures with but I know very well not to argue. But, we headed to the restroom first. After my mom had done her thing there, she went by the sink to do what girls do in a sink and a large mirror. And she began to talk, "Ba't napag-iwanan ka ng mga classmates mo sa Montessori?" At that moment, I was like, whoa. Could somebody slit my wrists to wake me and tell me that I'm having my worst nightmare ever? Or...is my life slowly turning into a soapopera where I'm the stupid and weak protagonist? I didn't do that because the answer is obviously NO. Not because I know that my mom can actually do that, but because...well, because...err...just because. Going back, she continued, "Ba't sila Joyce ang daming awards? Pati si Eunice--" Wait, Eunice wasn't from SMS. And she continued blabbing about things a girl like me would not want to hear.

***censored***

Of course, I could not answer back. I would not answer back. Because it wouldn't change anything, right? I did not even reply, "Because I'm plain stupid" because I certainly know I'm not. You know what happened when we left the restroom? We met our research adviser which coincidentally is her friend. And my mom said, "Pumasa siya sa scholarship niya!"

P.S.

Ate ange, shh.

Eunice and Joyce! No hard feelings. You know what I'm like. I love you and you know that :)

The Persimmons of Summer

2009-03-08T09:46:00.004+08:00

There was once a persimmon tree which stood atop a low hill. At the foot of the hill rests a small village resided by simple villagers who led a simple life. The persimmon tree, however, was guarded by a dryad. Dryads stay away from the presence of mere mortals but the dryad here chose to live somewhere a little near mere mortals. She reasoned that these villagers seldom climb uphill. The only time they come near the persimmon tree was during autumn, when persimmons turn deep orange.

The villagers lived a happy life and so did the dryad. She did not get frequently disturbed by villagers rummaging her home for persimmons. She enjoyed watching the villagers wake up early in the morning and busy themselves with the usual village work and sleep early in the evening to prepare for another tiring day tomorrow. All was well until one hot summer day.

The dryad was sleeping soundly when she heard loud noises from outside. The dryad peeped from the trunk and saw this man, a greedy-looking man, rummaging her home. He made a lot of hrmph noises before he gave the tree a strong kick and left. The dryad came out from behind the branches and was shocked to see that the greedy-looking man had broken some twigs. A pile of leaves and some flowers were also scattered on the ground. Though outraged, the dryad held her temper and began tending her home.

The next day, the dryad was woken again by loud rummaging noises. This time it was a woman, a hoggish woman. Again, the dryad tended her home after the woman had left.

This scenario lasted for weeks until the whole village came uphill to demand for persimmons. The villagers began shouting and complaining.

“Sujeonggwa. How can I make my spicy sujeonggwa?”

“The nearby villages want more of my persimmon vinegar. This means more gold. But where are the persimmons?”

“How come we only get to taste persimmon puddings in autumn?”

“I want crisp persimmons during the summer, too.”

“If I can’t get my dried persimmons right now, I’m going to cut this good-for-nothing tree!”

And the villagers all demanded the tree be cut.

Dryads die when their homes die. Will all her might, the dryad summoned persimmons from the tree. One by one, little green persimmons magically appeared from the branches of the tree.

Just as one villager swung his axe, a little boy yelled and pointed to the tree.

“Look,” he said, “Persimmons!”

With that, the villagers picked as many persimmons as their hands could carry. The harvesting took several hours for the villagers could never get enough. They stopped only when they noticed that there was nothing left on the tree but leaves.

The next morning, there was neither loud rummaging noises nor cutting down of the dryad’s persimmon tree. The dryad was happy about this so she came of out her home to see if the villagers were happy and contented with their basketfuls of persimmons. But the village streets were empty. There was no soul in sight, not even a stray cat. The dryad concluded that the villagers might be busy inside their kitchens, making spicy sujeonggwa, persimmon vinegar, persimmon puddings, crisp persimmons, and dried persimmons.

The dryad saw no mere mortal for days until one hot summer afternoon. There was a man, a young man that the dryad had never seen before. The young man looked quenched and exhausted. He seemed to have not slept for nights. He climbed uphill and stopped in front of the persimmon tree. The dryad was a little scared about this; she did not want any more rummaging and cutting of her home. But what happened next surprised the dryad, the young traveler sat under the shade of the persimmon tree, closed his eyes, and drifted off to sleep. The dryad could not understand how her persimmon tree, she, and a mere mortal could spend a moment so serene.

The dryad watched the traveler sleep for hours. She would hide behind the leaves whenever the traveler moved. Finally, the young man opened his eyes. The dryad moved farther behind the leaves. The young man spoke, “The tree might not have fruits to satisfy my hunger or quench my thirst but it does have a large shade to restore my health. I will not ask anything else from you. I am grateful of your existence.” He gathered his things and continued his travel.

The dryad smiled and whispered, “Blessed are those who recognize the little things I can offer. They shall not taste bitterness from the gifts I have been forced to give.”

Emptiness/ Teachers

2009-01-18T16:48:00.007+08:00

-Quick post-

As I sip a cup of green tea I poured with lots of honey, I realized that I'm starting to feel empty again. This started just a week ago.

I have things to do. Lots of things to do.

1. Find MTAP materials.

2. Answer MTAP materials. You know what I hate about this? The fact that you've paid and all but you still have to finish answering it.

3. Relearn Physics.
3.1 Study Kirchhoff's Rules.
3.2 Rewrite ugly, messy notes in Physics.

4. Write notes in Filipino.

5. Write notes in Math. I can't believe I missed writing 6 topics in Math. I was not slacking in Math during the second quarter. Until now, I can't move on. I've written only 5 topics out of 11. And I was ranting, how can you make notes in Math? It's Math. If you already got the hang of it, it won't take long for you to relearn it, if ever you forget it.

6. Write notes in Calculus. Again, I must say I can't believe I missed writing topics in Calculus. Wait, Calculus=Math. So, I don't have to right here. But, but. Our teacher checks our notebooks with passion. Yeah, with passion. He checks my unchecked homework. The kind of homework we never check because nobody else tries to answer it anyway. Just seeing red check marks on my homework makes my eyes form tears. And he reads my notes. Not that teacher from no.5 is lazy and all. She's hardworking. In fact, she's the most hardworking teacher I know. She makes us solve math problems even when 80% of the seniors (yeah, of the seniors, not of the class) are absent. Anyway, this post it not about them so let's give this topic a period.

7. Piano + Voice lessons. Finally, she's coming again. I missed her for a month. My teacher. She's one of the few teachers I enjoy having lessons with. I haven't finished my second piece yet; I hope she doesn't get upset.

Again, I have a lot of things to do. But I have not started doing anything yet. Except for no.1, but...I found only 3. I need 4 more. The only thing I'm looking forward to is Teacher May's arrival. I don't have the heart to do anything. Even eating. I don't even feel like texting either. But I managed to find a few pesos [while looking for MTAP materials] and I thought of needing to text someone for some school reasons. So I dragged myself to the nearest store. I don't have the heart to do anything. But I would really like to plant, water, and harvest crops, mine ores, pick fruits, clean my farm, pet my livestock, and upgrade my tools. I wish I could forget everything and play Innocent Life:A Futuristic Harvest Moon instead. Emptiness. Dammit. I hate this feeling.

Anyway, back to sipping. And searching for MTAP materials. Sigh.

The Week Before Christmas Break

2008-12-22T02:02:00.011+08:00

The past week was a busy week. But I'm really happy [because I just finished my term paper which by the way was corrupted so I have to do it all over again] because all I can think of is that tomorrow and the days after tomorrow, I will be hibernating!! Yay! Yay! Yay! Before I start hibernating, let me tell you ~~everything~~ things that happened last week.

Sunday

I performed in my first recital last week. I was so worried I almost thought of backing out because I caught cough and colds the night before. Fortunately, I did okay. I made minor flaws but...I think they're okay anyway.

My first song was "Steep". That was where my flaws appeared. I just learned the song, I'm sorry. My second song was "There You'll Be". Funny, when I reached the bridge, a familiar face entered the hall.

"'Cause I always saw in you
My light, my strength"

My sister arrived. Haha. Just in time to hear me end my performance. LOL. Anyway, thanks for being there. :)

We received a certificate after the recital.

Monday

I tried hard to wake up early and get to school early last Monday. We failed to decorate the Blind Date Booth last, last week so we needed to make up for it. Or...Aldrin will be mad. I bought stuff for the decorations last Sunday night. Thanks for coming, btw. :)

Look at the hearts I made for the booth!

I spent the whole day watching people dance and listening to love songs. I listened to a lot of love songs it made me want to slit my wrists the next time I hear a love song. LOL. When I got home, the melody of Heaven Knows, The Gift, Destiny, A Very Special Love, You and Me, and Please Be Careful with my Heart kept ringing in my ears. For a moment I thought I was going mad.

Tuesday

The intramurals were scheduled only for the morning today. Like last Monday, we were watching couples dance, forcing people to dance, blindfolding people, listening to love songs, dancing :), and enoying the day.

I spent the afternoon watching movies at Effie's place.

I spent the night watching our teachers' concert. They held this 'concert for a cause' for our sick teacher. Get well soon :) I was able to enjoy the night [except for the cough I still have constantly bothering me] because:

1. I didn't get to play with the rondalla. Not that I have anything against our group, I just needed time to get away from responsibilities.

2. I didn't get to be in charge of the documentation of the concert. I mean, I already helped managing the Blind Date Booth. Don't you think that it's your turn to do the responsibilities for our club?

3. You were there. A lot of you were there. Thank you. I really missed you. :) *hug*

Wednesday

This was the Blind Date booth's third day. I was guessing that the students would be tired of getting blindfolded and getting paired to a stranger but I was wrong. We still had a lot of customers. LOL. I guess they loved the ambiance of our booth. I love the ambiance of our booth. I love our booth.

I'm beginning to get used to listening to love songs over and over. I still get an LSS after the day, though. I can't help it.

Thursday

This was the our booth's fourth and last day. But it seemed like the students never get tired of dancing. Haha. I mean, they were doing it for the fourth day now. Aren't they tired of the same old thing? I did not get too tired of dancing anyway. I don't know. It made me feel happy and light and carefree and... Anyway, we earned a lot because of the inexhaustible students. Thanks.

We began cleaning up some hours later. I felt bad seeing our curtains and our hearts removed and the chairs being moved back. In a span of four days, I became attached to that room. To that dark room that never ceases playing love songs. I'll miss our booth. T.T

I'll miss dancing with the people...uhh...the people I dreamed of dancing with(?) While these people wait for their dates, I dance with them. So they won't get bored. Haha.

Friday

I have long waited for this day. Our Christmas Party was supposed to start at 8am but it started at 11am. I was really starving. My stomach was screaming a faint Feed me! Feed me! which reminds me that I haven't eaten a nice meal for days. I skip my breakfast. And I don't eat lunch at school. And I sometimes skip our dinner too because I want a newly-cooked meal. Not just something from the oven. So, I really enjoyed the food in our party. Hehehe. I was longing for a really nice meal.

I spent the afternoon at the mall and the rest of it worrying about how I could get the camera to my mom. I was texting a lot of people to know their whereabouts. I was going back and forth to meet my mom. I was flooding her with text messages because she won't reply. But all my efforts turned to waste. I ended up going back home to give her the camera then going back to school to watch the bandage. Sigh. Things I do for love.

I might seem like I didn't enjoy the bandage but...I did. I promise. It's just hard to give a smile when you don't feel like giving one. Again, I enjoyed the night.

I also sort of did my Christmas Eve in advance. Haha. Cheers!

Saturday

I spent this day sleeping. Haha. It was a tiring week, you know.

Anyway, Merry Christmas!

Files

2008-12-12T20:00:00.003+08:00

I was downloading mp3s when an alert appeared saying that I don't have enough space for my files. So I did what I needed to do ― I cleaned up my files. I removed senseless games and deleted homeworks from the previous quarters. I came upon my chat archives [I always save IM conversations] and a homework way back in June.

Before pressing delete, I opened the chat archives. I spent an hour reading the messages and it sure did bring back a big lot of memories. The messages mostly talk about my life during my early senior year. There was something about a very bad day and two of my ex-classmates seeing me. There was something about me ranting about my teacher disapproving our SIP. There was something about me getting upset with an ex-classmate. There was something about an ex-classmate cheering me up. [LOL. A lot of ex-classmates are involved.] There was a lot, lot more about ex-classmates.

I also opened the homework way back in June. It was an autobiography we were asked to make so our AP teacher would know us better [which reminds me she has not returned mine yet, I need to get it back before someone reads my drama]. It was six pages long. My autobiography was a drama of my life. LOL. Reading it made me smile and cry at the same time, really. Reading it made me realize a lot of things.

My finger moved away from the Del key.

Why did I think twice before saying that I will take medicine? My autobiography said that I have always wanted to become a doctor.

My autobiography also said something about an exam I will be taking on November. I already took the exam and I passed. I earned my "black belt" already.

It also contained a list of my weaknesses. My second weakness was my friends. I love them. And I am willing to do anything for them. I also remember thanking them for their encouragement that lifted my spirits.

It sure made me realize a lot of things. It made me miss a lot of things. *SOB*

Reading it made me realize that I have changed. Unconsciously, as always. I am not sure whether to like or to dislike the changes that have occurred to me but...honestly, I do miss my old self. I do miss my old, cheerful self. I miss my a bit-optimistic self. I miss my quiet and calm self.

Reading it made me feel a little guilty. Changes are inevitable. I have said this before. I try to avoid changes but I have learned to accept them eventually. But it does not always have to happen negatively, right? This time I want to turn back time, not to watch as certain events happen in my life as I usually say, but to undo the modifications. But it's impossible to do that. So right now, I will try to change. I will try to change and bring back the past.

Confessions

2008-12-11T20:54:00.002+08:00

I have this...weird talent. I tend to remember things ― stupid, ridiculous, irrational things. I remember them so vividly like 'you wore that once in an MTAP session last year' or 'your scent reminds me of our sophomore days' or 'Mary Angeli Mae was the name you made up when I asked you what the name of your cat was'. It was cool at first. People often get fascinated about it. But sometimes I remember too much of the stupid, ridiculous, irrational things. I remember each little detail. I remember exactly how the conversations went.

I stray from keeping grudges. It makes my life harder; it is difficult to bear. It gives me pain. But feeling bad about something is normal, I just don't keep it too long. I will release it in time. I forget it; you're forgiven. That's how I do things. I have always done that and it works all the time. But tonight as I vividly recall myself saying that I want to forget about it, it seems different. Tonight I realized, I have not forgot about it at all. The memory still lingers in me. It haunts me in my dreams.

I depicted Pride in our speech choir last year. If I have one overused deadly sin, that would be pride. I have lots of it. Actually, I guess I have too much. It's bad, I know, but it means a lot to me. I do my best to stick to my words even if it might cause pain to others. Yes, even if it might cause pain to others. One time I begged someone to celebrate this certain day with me. I was on my knees then. The person refused, a lot of times. When the certain day came, the person changed his mind. But I said, "You can't. I was begging on my knees and you turned me down." I value pride. I believe that like me, you remember the words you speak. You remember to do the words you speak.

It gives me pain remembering you denying what you said and defying what you said.

Wishlist

2008-12-01T13:29:00.003+08:00

I have decided not to post a wishlist but defying my decision won't hurt, right?

1. Books

I want a book. I have been away from reading for a long time. If you're thinking about Meyer's Twilight, well, that's okay. I'm trying to stray from hating Twilight. Just don't spend the day ranting about how it gives you problems ~~like you're playing Jasper and you can't find something to wear (OMG. Did I just say that?)~~ or I'll hate Twilight again. I might even hate it forever. I watched the movie twice, BTW. Make it 1.5x. If you love a lot of people, watching it more than once is not impossible.

Going back, I want a book.

2. Dress

Yes, I want a dress. If you have spent a day at the mall with me, this is no news for you. I don't wear long dresses though. I'm not that tall, you know. And I hate bright colors.

3. Chocolates

This never leaves my wishlist.

4. Time

I want time. Things are starting to go fast and there's no way I can slow it down. No one can. So, I'm asking for time.

5. Happiness

No, I'm not depressed. I'm happy, actually. I'm completely, perfectly, and incandescently happy. Okay, I may not be completely, perfectly, and incandescently happy at the moment but...I've been one before. Maybe I'll become one again later.

I want happiness for everyone.

Random

2008-11-30T00:19:00.003+08:00

I can't sleep. I have to post this thing I extracted from...uhh, never mind.

"I want to break away from the world. I want to find some place serene. I want to hit the walls that surround me. But I can't. I shall put my thoughts into ink instead.

I want to apologize to you. I want to tell you how regretful I am about that. I want to tell you how terribly sorry I am for making you worry. I want you to know that I did it without thinking. It was foolish, I know. But, even a million words is not enough to make you understand.

But tonight as I lie under the night sky, I think of today. Of you. Of me. Of everything. I could not sleep. It brings me pain to think of you. I believed each word from your lips. And having you defy even just one of your own words troubles me. It burdens me.

Today I felt tired. I tried to make adjustments about everything. And I did those willingly for I want to make up for my mistake. It had cost me a lot; I surrendered the thing I value most--pride.

I do not blame you, however, for having me lose this treasure. "I did it willingly," I said. I do not even accuse you responsible for the feelings I have now.

Right now, I want someone to talk to. I want someone to listen as I spill my thoughts. But no one can spare time at the moment for this moment is when people rest.

I want rest too. "Having you defy even just one of your own words troubles me. It burdens me." I want to have this weight lifted. That is why I shall go now and leave behind my pearls on the grass."

Randomness

2008-11-26T20:41:00.004+08:00

Yet another random post.

WARNING: Don't read if you are uninterested in a diary-type post.

It's good to be back at school again. No more worrying about what I have been missing. I missed school for three days because of some viral infections accompanied by other viral infections. That's why I missed our speech choir rehearsals. I do hope I could cope with everything as I attend to some responsibilities in the English Club. *sigh*

The English Club kidnapped me during the afternoon. We planned for everything under the sun. And we planned for having our own 'cosplaying' too. I can't reveal who I'll be cosplaying because I haven't settled that yet. But, yeah, I'm raiding closets in here to find things I need. Too bad we just talked about this today. If only we had talked about this a bit earlier, I could have had time to shop for stuff. LOL. But I'm really sad because time is not on my side; I need the stuff on Friday.

I can't stress myself today because I haven't fully recovered from my maladies yet(haha). So...I planned my escape. Same old "doctor's appointment". Haha. BUT, I bought stuff for the English Club. :) That's a valid excuse, right?

Since my fellow officers are too busy rehearsing for the speech choir, I offered to buy the stuff. They were asking if it was okay for me to go alone and I said 'yes'. I mean, I'm used to going solo. Also, we need to learn to do stuff by ourselves or we'll look like fools in the future.

So...let me tell you how my trip went.

I realized a lot of things. One of the things I like most about going solo is having time for myself. I think about a lot of things when I walk--when I walk under the moon, at the mall, in the rain, everywhere.

Changes. I passed by Quantum today and noticed that the Dance Maniax...uhh, machine was gone. Don't get me wrong. I knew about that before. Months ago. It's just that I haven't actually seen the spot without the machine on it. I saw it today. It looked so bare and empty. It's absence marks a big change for me. I mean, after about 7 months (I hope I remembered it right) of having its rhythm ringing in your ear over and over and watching the inexhaustible players dance like they can never dance again...It's gone. But, everything changes. Everyone changes. You change. I change. People come. People leave. And it all happens for a reason.

Straw vs. Stro. I found myself in the supermarket next. I was saying, "Straw, straw, straw. S-T-R-A-W. Yung pantali." Until the salesman said, "Aah, stro." Then he suggested that I look for it in a hardware instead. I also remember the security guard who checked my bag for firearms. He told me, "Mag-aral kang mabuti ah." Do I look like I'm slacking from school? Well, I admit that I can be a real slacker sometimes. So for the guard: I'll try. :)

"Good afternoon. Ay, good evening pala. Miss, san ka nag-aaral?" One of things I hate most about going solo is being disturbed by these kind of people as I peacefully think of things. Going back, "How can you not see where I study? I was wearing my uniform and you were obviously reading my name patch. How can you not see it when we're sharing the same step on the escalator and you're facing me?" But I replied, "Muntinlupa Science High School?" Yes, I ended it with a question mark. Then I made a sharp turn to the left. Thank God the hardware was just right there.

alyzza Ü

2008-11-09T20:13:00.006+08:00

I got this from Eunice which she got from blogthings.com. I have always used the site to kill time but since there's no time to kill lately, I have slowly drifted away from blogthings. Anyway, what's my name's hidden meaning?

What Alyzza Means

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic “Type A” personality.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.

You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.

Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.

You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.

You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

You are incredibly wise and perceptive. You have a lot of life experience.

You are a natural peacemaker, and you are especially good at helping others get along.

But keeping the peace in your own life is not easy. You see things very differently, and it's hard to get you to budge.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

You strive for perfection.

I don't really see myself as a perfectionist. Virgos have always been called perfectionists. But, I can't see myself as one. I have been called a perfectionist a couple of times, though.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

I don't get worked up easily? Lately, I have been really worked out. It probably means that an extreme lot of things happened that get me worked up. My secret to life? Uhh.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.

Yes, I will resent anyone who tries to fence me in.

You are a natural peacemaker, and you are especially good at helping others get along.
But keeping the peace in your own life is not easy. You see things very differently, and it's hard to get you to budge.

Yes, keeping the peace in my own life is not very easy. And yes, I see things very differently and it is hard to get me to budge.

P.S.
Eunice, I sort of copied your title. Haha. I'm too tired to come up one of my own.

Random Rant

2008-10-26T16:33:00.004+08:00

This is a random rant. Sorry. I really need to pour this out of my heart.

Let me rant. I apologize for screaming so much last Saturday. This time, I'll just write my complaints.

It's supposed to be our semestral break. I'm supposed to be hibernating. I'm supposed to be watching Friends. I'm supposed to be reading manga. I'm supposed to be playing the piano.

But I can't because I will be writing this paper in English which I don't even have the slightest idea on how to begin. I can't because we will be taking a remedial test in Electronics tomorrow. I can't because I will be rehearsing with the rondalla all day on Wednesday. I can't because we will be performing all day on Thursday. I can't because I will be busy doing stuff for our Science Investigatory Project. I can't because we're going away on Saturday. And that leaves me another set of weekends before classes resume. I can't seem to find the break in the semestral break. Sigh. I need a life.

Going back to last Saturday, I am really, really pissed. I was hoping that I could spend the day doing what I want. I was hoping of watching the games or singing in the videoke all day long. But...my hopes were shattered. I was forced to rehearse this thing I don't really like in the first place. Do you know how it feels like being forced to do what do not want to do? Do you know how it feels like being full of people who force you to do things?

Sometimes I wish that I could be somewhere else. Somewhere away from reality. A place where I could just watch the stars and never worry about getting home late. A place where I can sing at the top of my lungs and no one will tell me to stop. A place where I can listen to someone playing the piano all night long. A place where I can lie and get up only when I wanted to.

Enough of that.

For the last time today, I'll rant. After this, I'll start my writeup in English, seriously.

Can I have me deciding for myself some time? This time, can I do what I want?

Missing!

2008-09-28T10:56:00.003+08:00

I just noticed. My blog has been idle for exactly two months. Individualistic doer was dated July 28, 2008. Anyway...

I finished reading my assigned novel about a month ago. I remember my sister coming in my room and asking me, "Ano 'yan?" to which I replied, "Message in a Bottle."
"Alam mo bang 'yan ang pinaka-******* [Set aside negative comments.]"
"Oo nga. Ayoko naman talaga nito eh. Anyway, spoiled na ang story."

What came after were my rants about how I hated that novel. I don't have anything against Nicholas Sparks but--I just don't like romantic novels of this kind.

When our teacher was assigning us novels, I was actually imagining him calling me and telling me, "You'll get Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice." I was also imagining a happy smile and twinkling eyes on my face after hearing that. But, a classmate got it first. He promised to exchange novels with me if I get him another love story. But...he broke his promise. I broke his bones after that. Wahahaha. Anyway, that's how I got stuck with "Message in a Bottle'.

Though I have said a lot of bad things about the book—I'm really bitter because I didn't get "Pride and Prejudice". No more dreaming of Mr. Darcy. T.T—I still afforded to find something good in it.

Spoilers:

Basically, these are some things you have to remember if you decide to continue reading the spoilers and you haven't read the book yet.
1. Garrett can't get over the death of his wife, Catherine. He just loves her so much.
2. Theresa is a columnist. She was divorced from her husband.
3. Garrett and Theresa met. And they fell in love.

In the end, Garrett died in a storm. He sailed to the sea to send his last 'message in a bottle' to Catherine. And he wasn't able to survive the storm. When Theresa learned about this, she grieved, of course. In the later part, she was sending a message in a bottle to the sea. It's a letter to Garrett which says something like:

This is not a letter of goodbye but rather a letter of thanks. I am thinking of you as someone who taught me that people could love again, even after they lost someone whom they really, really love. And now, it's my turn. Thank you, blah..blah..blah...

I could have just reached for my book and copy Theresa's letter to make it sound better but...I lost my book. T.T I have looked for it in every possible place it might lay. And, I'm missing it. I miss my book, even after cursing it. Hehe.

Anyway, it kept me thinking. What if everything you have are just things that will teach you what to do in the future?

Realizations at 2 in the Morning

2008-09-28T07:31:00.006+08:00

I was watching Friends yesterday and I remember Alan—the guy Monica was dating at that episode—advising Chandler not to smoke. He did it easily, effortlessly, and successfully. Plus, he did it so quickly. His friends tried almost everything to stop him but only Alan succeeded. No one, except for Chandler, knew what Alan said because it was a telephone conversation. At the end of the conversation, Chandler said something like, "No one has ever put it up that way." And like any other person, I was wondering what Alan could have said to convince Chandler to quit smoking.

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I remember writing on my journal (it's a project in English class) and asking my teacher, "Does it always have to be that way? Will I become a teacher too?" That day, he was telling us that he never dreamt of becoming a teacher. But he became one, anyway. Another teacher also told us the same thing and obviously, he had the same fate. And I was sort of seeing one of my blog entries in the future beginning like this:

"Years back, I have always told people that I wanted to become someone like this person. And now I'm like this. Very far, or at least a little far, from what I was imagining myself to be."

BTW, my teacher's advice was to follow my will because it might happen.

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Someone was telling me about a short conversation of two characters. I'll try hard to make it sound the way it sounded this morning. I forgot the exact words. Hehehe.

Character1: If I do this, it would take 34 years of my life.
Character2: But if you do it, you will know that it's worth it. Because it's what you want. Anything that your heart desires is worth waiting for. Your life will be of greatest value if you have reached your dreams.

What if Character1 had two options? And he likes both options. The second option requires only a short time. And given that time, he would have more time to fulfill the rest of his dreams. He would be able to fulfill more. Isn't that kind of life more valuable? Being able to do more?

But the storyteller argued:

Your life will be more valuable if you did what you really wanted. You don't create a second option and force yourself to like it so you could get away from the first option.

And I said, "Oh. No one has ever put it up that way."