Daddy Likey

Top 5 Reasons You Should Buy This Calendar (but if you're short on cash I'm giving one away!)

2009-12-01T15:51:00.000-08:00

My love affair with fellow blogger Sarah Von Bargen is well documented. I adore her witty, inspirational blog, Yes and Yes, and I feel such a strong connection to her personally that I'm pretty sure we were blogger friends in a past life (most likely in ancient Rome, where we wrote budget travel tips and snide fashion observations on pieces of parchment paper and distributed them for free to the masses).

As many of you may have heard, Sarah and her talented BFF recently created a calendar, called "A Year in Yes," and it's amazing. I received my copy yesterday, and when I opened it up I ran my hand over the glossy pages and literally gasped "It's beautiful!" out loud, to myself, alone in my kitchen. That's how amazing it is. It will make you act like a melodramatic after-school special.

Here are a few other reasons I strongly encourage you to pick up a copy:

Top 5 Reasons You Absolutely Need to Buy the "A Year in Yes" Calendar

1. Beautiful photography/design.

Love the photographs. Love the layout. Love the colors. Love the handwriting. This calendar might renew your faith in love.

2. Quotes that don't make you want to vomit. Plus other goodies and surprises.

When Sarah first told me about this project, she described it as follows: "It'll be called 'A Year in Yes' and feature cool photos with inspirational (but not puke-inducing) quotes, plus funny ideas and ridiculous holidays in the date bit of the calendar. And there are going to be lists! Like February? 'People that I've kissed'!!"

This thing is so packed full of hidden gems and funny tidbits that you can make yourself a cup of tea, sit down and read it like a book. And then when someone walks in and asks why you are reading a calendar, you can be like, "This ain't no ordinary calendar!" And yes, I've had this exact scenario play out in my real life.

3. Purchasing this calendar supports a couple of creative ladies doing the thing they love.

Sure, you could buy your 2010 calendar from a big calendar factory that spews smog and chops down FernGully to make their paper and employs fat cat businessmen who smoke cigars and crush dreams for fun, or your could show some love to some badass, independent, recycled paper-loving female entrepreneurs from Minnesota. Save the fairies. Go with option two.

4. Have you looked at other inspirational calendars?

Seriously, they look like they were hastily cobbled together from a few moldy motivational posters torn out of my 9th grade health teacher's classroom. My 9th grade health teacher had an unironic Burt Reynolds mustache and tried to convert my entire class to Christianity. Don't support that. Buy Sarah's calendar instead.

5. Buy one for everybody on your holiday shopping list. Bam, you're done.

I can't think of a more perfect gift for everyone on your list, from your sister to your yoga instructor to your parole officer. And as an added bonus, if you buy a calendar, Sarah will ship it to you, anywhere in the world, for free. Canada, Malaysia, Australia, a raft floating in international waters, you name it. Free.

Now for the really fun part: I've got a "Year in Yes" calendar to give away! For a chance to win, please leave a comment telling me your favorite month of the year and why. Or if you're feeling mega lazy, just tell me your name and email address. Or your favorite zoo animal. I'll choose a winner at random next Tuesday!

But promise me if you don't win--you'll buy yourself a copy? And one for your barista, too?

Don't Show-cha Your Chocha!

2009-11-30T23:57:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's finally time for this week's belated-but-awesome round of Don't Show-cha Your Chocha, the feature in which Daddy Likey readers submit examples of short hemlines gone awry (or about to go awry), or a blatant disregard for pants (or bottoms of any kind, actually).

A word to concerned chocha spotters: If you don't see your submission here yet, please don't fret! I have quite the chocha backlog in my inbox (if the FBI ever has reason to investigate my computer, I'm sure this will cause one of their agents to dramatically shake their head and sigh, "We're dealing with one sick perp."), but I swear all of them will have their time in the sun. Or internet. Same deal.

Let's kick things off with a prime example from reader Anita:

She says: A chocharific Rag and Bone western shirt dress--sure to spook horses everywhere.

Here's a model who still needs to learn a thing or two about posing in a too-short shirt:

Says Claire: It's kind of a nice tunic, until you notice she HAS NOTHING ON HER BOTTOM HALF.

Oh American Apparel, what would DSYC be without you?

Says Kristen: For some reason she's upside down on a glass table, in a one piece, waving her chocha in the air like she just don't care with an expression implying that she either does care, or she's losing blood circulation in her head. Or both, you never know.

And another AA special from Kamee:

This poor girl's face says it all. [Editor's note: And her nude leggings make me want to cry.]

Fabulous reader Ida submitted this one:

She says: I don't know whether anyone has mentioned this UK girlband to you. They are called "The Saturdays." It seems to me that they have the tendency to wear super short skirts, not only on Saturdays but, like, everyday. Their first single is called "Up." How aptly named?

Oh Jesus:

Jackee perfectly sums it up: I love how they don't even pretend it's a dress. I don't love how that girl looks so young and generally coerced, but I guess that's modeling:

Next two are from Thomas W.:

He says: Is she wearing a t-shirt over an unbuttoned shirt? Without pants??? [Editor's note: I think those might be pockets from jean shorts cut so short they probably resemble a denim thong, but the world may never know.]

And: Chocha coverage at an all time low. Or high, I guess.

The lovely and talented Ariel sent in an nontraditional chocha submission, which is awesome just the same:

She says: It makes you wonder...if that's going in with the back, what kind of horror is going on with the front? A good rule: if you don't know how to operate a bikini, don't try it out the first time in public.

Anne-Marie caught a magazine blatantly promoting the Show-cha Your Chocha look:

She says: I feel quite indecent sending this onto you but if you put your fingers over your eyes it ain't so bad!

The following three awesome finds--plus astute commentary--come courtesy of the lovely Astra, who came across a particularly chochafied red carpet event:

Katherine Kelly from Coronation Street tries the old 'hide-it-with-my-bag manoeuver'. Funnily enough I have an old halloween cloak made of the same faux-velvet material, if she'd called me I could have made her a decent length dress that'd look just as tacky.

Then there's someone called Kaya Scodelario who I've never heard of. She looks great and I love her outfit - I just hope she doesn't sit down!

And finally there's ex-Coronation Street actress Angela Griffin, who breaks the "legs or cleavage" rule by showing both...and her chocha!

JoAnna sent me an email titled, "Don't cry, little chocha!" which quickly turned my morning email checking routine into a messy affair involving oatmeal being LOLed all over my keyboard. Here's why:

Says JoAnna: While the length is arguably modest enough to wear in public, it's almost see-through, and I'm very concerned about that tear-drop appliqued to the front. Why is the silhouette crying? And why is it so close to her crotch?

And to that I say: These are questions for the ages, my dear girl, questions for the ages...

Awesome Atomic Affordable Etsy Find of the Week!

2009-11-30T13:48:00.000-08:00

Vintage Pin, $3

The description for this item says, "Check out this space age atomic shirt pin." There's not much I can add to that perfectly eloquent little phrase, except to say it's three bucks, and wearing it would confuse people and improve your nerdy street cred. My little brother, who was recently mislabeled as a "math nerd" at school for having a human rights campaign equality sticker on his binder, would love it.

p.s. Spent the long weekend giving my friend Nicci a whirlwind tour of Portland, but I'm back to a regular blogging schedule this week. Keep an eye out for a Don't Show-cha Your Chocha post later today!

Blogback Mountain!

2009-11-25T01:04:00.000-08:00

The Sunday Best defends so-called "chick flicks" by listing his top 5 worst "bro films." As the former president of the Banks High School Jet Li Fan Club, I do take offense at one of his selections, but overall it's a solid post.

How to Tuck Your Pants Into Boots

The Big Piece of Cake is running a humongous, incredible, Oprah-level giveaway series right now. I'm especially obsessed with the Bee Gee Bag, but I'd happily win anything she's featured (or one of everything, please). Go enter!

Recently discovered Work With What You've Got--totally loving it.

Super Kawaii Mama has created the most awesome vintage-inspired gym outfits you ever did see.

Christine is like a real life Kate Spade ad, only cuter.

Now that is one badass manicure. But I wouldn't expect anything less from WendyB.

I think Princess Poochie did a great job with this respectful but thought-provoking post about a fashion blogger's new shoe line for Urban Outfitters.

So awesome: If Drawings Were Photographs

The superfantastic Sara Zucker has started up her personal style blog, Sara Wears Clothes, again after quite a bit of begging and pleading from me, and I'm really pumped about it. Please show her some love!

Speaking of blog resurrections I'm pumped about, my always-clever friend Meg just started up a new site called Award-Winning Weekends, packed with zany ideas and activities to spice up your days off.

"The real beauty of menswear is in the details." Hear, hear!

I don't usually like to be pushy, but BUY THIS CALENDAR. It will change your life. Guaranteed.

Things that depress me: Ken Burns documentaries, my cowlick, and the fact that there are no women writers on staff of the major late night comedy shows.

Want these so, so bad.

And in book news, I had a couple dreams come true this week. First off, Poetic & Chic posted a great review of Closet Confidential and invited me to fill out a Proust Questionnaire, which I may or may not have been preparing for since I read my first Vanity Fair as a confused small child.

If that wasn't exciting enough, the hilarious blog Oddly Enough shared some kind words about my book and allowed me to write snarky captions for a couple of crazy runway photos. Dream realized!

And finally, this adorable picture of S from Academic Chic holding her copy of Closet Confidential in Germany reminds me of that feature in Glamour magazine where readers hold up their Glamour magazines in cool places, like underwater in the hull of the Titanic, and write things like, "Here I am researching an iconic shipwreck and getting sweet tips about this season's nailpolish trends!"

But this picture is a thousand times better. For obvious reasons. Happy birthday, beautiful, and thanks for making my day!

Tuesday Top 5: Grown-Up Hair Accessory Challenge

2009-11-24T11:23:00.000-08:00

Dear Daddy Likey,

I recently cut my hair very short, and I like wearing clips and headbands in it (because it's fun and also so people know I'm not a boy). Here's the problem -- most of what's out there for "hair fancies" can be a little juvenile. This is not to say I don't love a good bow or flower because, believe me, I do, and I've got plenty. But now I'm looking for some accessories that look a little more grown up, shall we say. (I'm 28.) Any suggestions?

Signed,
Sheared and Alone

Dear Sheared,

While I may be the exact wrong person to ask, because 1. I buy most of my hair accessories in the baby shower section at The Dollar Tree, and 2. My last post on hair accessories included a clip made to look like a swarm of butterflies has landed on your head, I'm happy to give it my best shot:

Top 5 Hair Accessories That Won't Get You Sent Home From Work for Breaking Child Labor Laws

So elegant, right? Plus it's from Banana Republic, which is a store for Responsible Grown-Ups.

Studded. Badass. Cheap. Those are three awesome adjectives.

These bobby pins resemble the kind of fine china that many people keep hidden away in a kitchen cabinet. Why not wear it in your hair instead?

Yes, this is technically a bow headband, but the messiness and muted color palette make it much more chic and adult than your run-of-the-mill infant head wrap.

This vintage barrette is tiny--just one inch--so it won't overwhelm even the shortest, sprightliest haircuts.

Readers--feel free to weigh in on your favorite responsible, mature hair accessory choices! Have you found any pieces that strike the right balance of playful and grown-up? Or are you loyal to your giant pink sequined bow headband?

Awesome Affordable Etsy Find of the Week!

2009-11-23T20:26:00.000-08:00

Pinwheel Necklace, $16.20 (plus a 10% holiday discount!)

Clare, one of my favorite bloggers/people (as opposed to my favorite bloggers/beavers), recently started an Etsy shop called Objects Found, and it's full of amazingly intricate and affordable multi-strand necklaces. Seriously, I don't know how she does it. The few times I've tried to make, like, a friendship bracelet, I ended up tangling myself into a sad little pile of chains and thread and beads and had to wait for my boyfriend to get home to let me out and buy me a milkshake.

Also check out her guppy necklace. So cute.

Don't Show-cha Your Chocha!

2009-11-23T01:04:00.000-08:00

It's time for this week's installment of Don't Show-cha Your Chocha, in which Daddy Likey readers fight the good fight against the wearing of shirts as dresses, the hoisting of hems above the ladyparts, and the painfully awkward posing models must do in order to avoid showing said ladyparts.

Let's start things off with this gem from Ashley:

She says (and I agree): Frankly, this leaves me a little uncomfortable.

Next up, from Sally:

Ah, kate moss. A woman who just loves her chocha so much, she puts it out there for everyone to bask in its chocha glow, at a chocha parade. In a nude dress.

Reader Paisley turned in frequent offender Sienna Miller:

She says: Of note is Sienna's purse, which serves double duty in that it is used as a "hem pad" to keep the hemline firmly pressed in place lest a lucky photographer capture a photo for a different genre of "September Issue".

From the inimitable Thom Wong:

Also, this terrifying observation: AND she's riding a bike!!!

The next two are from Devora:

She says: This first one, that looks like a cross between old lady stockings and a mosquito net, is very unfortunate. I want to give her a parka and some sweatpants, the poor thing!

And this one? Wow, don't shift to the left there, lady.

Odette asks: Does it count if a dress might be a decent length but the model has it hiked up like she's going to the bathroom?

And I say, yes, Odette, it definitely counts.

Summer sent in the following three images, adding: Was just looking through The Sartorialist for some style inspiration and decided that even Mr. Sartorialist enjoys a good chocha-riffic ensemble, as long as it's chic-chocha.

Incidentally, "chic-chocha" is my new favorite phrase.

From hesitant but vigilant reader Pam:

She says: I hate to send you this, because I have a mad girl crush on Diane Kruger and would defend her honor, spindly legs, and even her choice to appear in movies with Nicolas Cage, but this picture from French Elle is too chochariffic not to share.

Leva found this audacious almost-chocha:

Wow. That is just a shirt with a belt. Yep, just a shirt.

The lovely Clare submitted this charming photo:

She says: This is far too much chocha for a 15-year-old girl. I shudder to think what the cotton string-lookin'-thing is hanging out of her "dress". At first I'm thinking it's a tampon string, but I don't know if Taylor is even old enough to be getting our favorite monthly visitor. Blerg.

Reader Katie gets extra credit for submitting a video of DANCING CHOCHAS:

She says: It makes me giggle, because this girl is in an incredibly tight chocha squeezer, and yet she tries miserably to lift her leg! [Editor's note: actually "tight chocha squeezer is my new favorite phrase.]

And finally, Angelica sent me something so incredible that it improved my life by a factor of 100: a Don't Show-cha Your Chocha t-shirt design by her talented friend Rowena!

Says Angelica: I thought the "Don't Show-Cha Your Chocha" feature on your blog was hilarious, so I got my friend Rowena to design me a "Don't Show-Cha Your Chocha" t-shirt. It's best worn while walking on Broadway in SoHo, or on the Upper East Side.

Seriously, how awesome is that? Thanks so much, ladies! I'm definitely gonna have this printed on a tee and wear it around Portland's west side, if that's permissible. Pictures to come!

High Fashion Haiku: Perfect for gravy spills!

2009-11-20T10:52:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving Style Tip:
Wear a napkin as a shirt
for easy cleanup!

Donna Karan Belted Mikado Bustier, $1500 (well, you might want to find a cheaper oversized napkin).

p.s. Thanks, Sarah W.!

Top 5 Sources of Fashion Inspiration That Won't Ruin Your Self-Worth

2009-11-18T15:57:00.000-08:00

I love fashion magazines as much as the next girl. And by that I mean I don't really love them that much, because they make me feel fat and poor.

Here's the conundrum: these publications provide a good source of style tips, tricks, and ideas, so I hate to give them up altogether, but is a bit of inspiration worth the hits to my body confidence (Thighs are so out this season!) and savings account ($1200 is actually a reasonable price for a diamond-encrusted flannel romper!)?

I think not.

Top 5 Sources of Fashion Inspiration That Won't Ruin Your Self-Worth

Wardrobe Remix
This vast (nearly 15,000 members strong!), constantly updated collection of real outfits photos from real people of all shapes, sizes, ages, and budgets is a treasure trove of style inspiration. Scroll through the pictures for new styling ideas or better yet, join the group and challenge yourself to post pictures of your own outfits.

Fabric Stores
As you may recall from this post, I'm kinda sorta learning to sew, which means I've recently discovered the unadulterated joy of a trip to the fabric store. Meandering through the aisles of bright colors, sumptuous textures, and pretty patterns reminds me of fashion's exciting possibilities.

A fabric store has none of the negatives of a clothing store--no weird sizes, unflattering fits, or judgmental store clerks--which allows you to detach from your usual insecurities and revel in your sensory experience: What color makes your heart race? What patterns make you smile? Which fabric makes you want to buy a few yards, construct a crude robe, and never take it off? Try to bring the answers to those questions into your wardrobe, and I think you'll be pleased with the result.

Already Pretty
Fashion blogs in general are a great power-to-the-people alternative to traditional fashion magazines, but Sally's masterful mix of practical wardrobe advice and self-love manifestos strikes the perfect chord with me. On more than one occasion her posts have made me cry--in a good way. On more than one occasion Vogue has made me cry--in a bad way. Sally wins.

Travel
Leaving your comfort zone and being exposed to new cultures is inspiring in every way, but it can be especially stimulating to your sense of style. Whether you're people-watching in Tokyo or just enjoying a quick day trip to a neighboring city, pay attention to the different ways people adorn themselves and which looks you really respond to.

If you're too poor to actually travel, flip through National Geographics at the library or watch travel shows on PBS or read this post or live vicariously through a friend (ever since I saw my friend Lydia's gorgeous Morocco vacation pictures, I've been scouring ebay for embroidered tunics and beaded belts). There are a million ways, subtle or grand, to bring the beauty of other cultures into your daily dress. So do it!

Old Movies
A little cliche, sure, but has anyone on earth ever watched Sabrina and not been moved to step up their fashion game?

Where do you find your style inspiration?

Martin's Menage a Trois

2009-11-17T11:30:00.001-08:00

I've recently noticed a surge in readership around these parts (welcome, you adorable new readers, you!), which is super exciting, but I think it also necessitates an updated explanation of Martin Sheen, our raccoon fashion blogging correspondent. So, here's what you need to know:

Martin is a raccoon. He likes shiny things. He lives in a dumpster. And sometimes I let him write for Daddy Likey.

There, now you're all caught up! Take it away, Martin--weave us a beautiful dream with your elegant words and witticisms!

I'm thinking of having a threesome.

XOXO,
Martin

Raccoon mittens, $26, here. Thanks so much for the tip, Elise!

Awesome Affordable Etsy Find of the Week: Not Santa Cat

2009-11-15T15:19:00.000-08:00

Let me throw down some heavy truth for you right now: I own a Christmas sweater.

Not just a regular Christmas sweater, either, but a Christmas sweater with pom poms, bell sleeves, a rickrack neckline and a large embroidered image of a smiling cat wearing a Santa hat. And I bought this sweater in 1998, before hipsters existed, before irony was a style, before the inception of the "ugly sweater party" (fashion historians generally agree that the first of these celebrations occurred circa 2002).

I bought this sweater because I couldn't get over the cuteness and hilarity of a smiling Santa Cat. I bought it completely earnestly and with the spirit of Christmas in my heart.

But you know what? If I were to take the advice/threats/bribes of those I love and set the Santa Cat sweater aside (or on fire, maybe) to make a more subtle holiday fashion statement, I'd totally wear something like these pretty holiday earrings:

Holiday Baubles Short Dangly Earrings, $7

They don't scream holiday cheer like a Santa Cat sweater does, but they do politely suggest it, and wouldn't they pair beautifully with a simple black dress to make the holiday party rounds? I might have to get myself a pair. With permission from Santa Cat, of course.

P.S. Thanks so much to Katrina for the tip about fabulous Etsy shop City Noise Vintage!

UPDATED to respond to demands for a Santa Cat photo: First of all, you guys crack me up. Second of all, are my words not worth a thousand pictures, or something like that? Third of all, fine, I'll try my best to dig it out of my Christmas decor boxes and post some photo evidence for ya.

For the Love of Books, Donuts, and Werewolves

2009-11-13T11:06:00.000-08:00

Sorry for those of you who live nowhere near Oregon, but I have another book event coming up tomorrow that I'd love my local peeps to come to. If you live far away, feel free to ignore the content of this post and look at this funny werewolf comic instead:

By Brad Neely

Now, for you P-Town people:

Closet Confidential Reading/Signing/FREE DONUTS

Where: Tanasbourne Barnes & Noble
18300 NW Evergreen Pkwy
Beaverton, OR

When: Saturday, November 14th, at 2PM.

Please come hear me read from my new book, Closet Confidential: Style Secrets Learned the Hard Way! I'll also be signing books (my own or Salman Rushdie's), and would be happy to absolve you of your sins if requested (I'm an ordained minister, so bring 5 bucks and I'll see what I can do). In addition, there is a 52% chance of free donuts.

A portion of the proceeds from book sales on Saturday will be going to support the Banks Public Library, so even if you hate my book, you should still come and buy something.

This is a great opportunity for my lovely friends who weren't able to make it to the launch party. I'd love to see you there!

Blogback Mountain!

2009-11-12T16:59:00.000-08:00

Please check out the sweet Closet Confidential review and giveaway over at Annie Spandex!

The lovely and talented Ambika has been amassing some pretty impressive Etsy creds, and I'm so happy for her! In related news, have you been to her shop lately?

This made me laugh.

Last week I professed my undying love for my unflattering blanket sweater. This week E debuts
an extremely flattering version.

A perfect illustration of style for a conservative office vs. a creative office (bonus: both examples include the same pair of badass red ankle boots!).

WendyB defends LadyG.

Queen Michelle + Low Energy + Cold Sores = Still way more glamorous than me. Damnit.

This hat is, like, my life dream come true.

Jennine wore her wedding dress today. Her wedding was not today. She looks totally fabulous today. And she makes a wonderful point about wearing special things for no particular reason.

I've been listening to a lot of Dixie Chicks lately, which has been giving me mad urges to road trip to Nashville. Becky is actually going there (although I don't think her trip is Dixie Chicks-motivated) and she looks adorable.

Absolutely positively no doubt the most badass dress that's ever existed. (Except maybe the hamburger dress featured in this post. Maybe.)

Gruschia is my new fave color.

This one time my brother and I were driving on the country road near my parents' house, and a bear ran out of the bushes and I was like, "LOCK THE DOORS!" Chelsea's cute little story about a prancing Swedish moose is better.

The first and only blog post about oatmeal that made me laugh out loud.

I love this inspiring take on "Would You Rather?"

Sarah's post about text tattoos made me want to get one even more than I already did, which was A LOT. Now I can barely sleep and find myself scrawling profound quotes on my forearms with sharpie markers all the time.

SO pretty!

That clever lil' Sally has some invaluable tips for organizing your closet.

And finally, What I Wore Today (drawings only)--this is the coolest thing ever and I fully intend to participate. Thanks, Maggie, for sending it my way!

Advanced Fashion Quiz: Sexually Satisfying Accessories Edition

2009-11-11T14:05:00.000-08:00

One of the items pictured below is a $1,385 Emilio Pucci clutch. The other is $140 Swedish vibrator.

Can you tell which is which?

No, really, can you? Because confusing the two could prove disastrous. Or awesome.

Tuesday Top 5: If It Were Legal I'd Marry My Hat

2009-11-10T15:07:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago two of my brothers and my boyfriend and I took a trip down to Eugene, Oregon. I'd been there many times before, but somehow each time I was busy with other things like eating fish tacos and losing a race to a pancake, so I've never had a chance to check out the city's selection of vintage stores.

On this trip I made shopping a priority and dragged the guys around to a few different places, all of which were amazing, but I had the best luck at Oak Street Vintage, where I scored a cherry-red 1960's raincoat for ten bucks, and this hat, which I adore so much I wrote a list about it:

Top 5 Reasons I Love My New Hat

1. It's dark green, which is almost as versatile as black but adds a subtle pop of color to any outfit.

2. Adjusting it like so means I only have to do makeup on one eye:

3. The frayed tag says "Made in Italy for Bloomingdales," a fact I brag about to random people on the bus, and they are always impressed.

4. Oh man, it's gonna take my karaoke rendition of Carly Simon's "You're So Vain" to a whole new level.

5. I can pull down the brim and walk around feeling glamorous and incognito, at least until someone taps me on the shoulder at the grocery store and says, "Winona? Is that you? Why aren't you wearing pants?"

Oops.

Don't Show-cha Your Chocha!

2009-11-09T23:59:00.000-08:00

Well, well, well, it's finally time for another installment of Don't Show-cha Your Chocha, the recurring feature in which readers send in examples of the ever-worsening "wearing a shirt as a dress" trend (if you're a Daddy Likey newbie--welcome!--and click here for a more thorough explanation).

Let's kick things off with Taylor Momsen's prime example:

Sally says: I see London, I see France ... I see Taylor's CHOCHA. And really wish I didn't.

Darci wants to know when Bloomingdales began catering to the twenty-something hipster prostitute crowd:

She also observes: You know you're ready to nightwalk when your necklace length matches your dress length. Hideous matching metallic undies sold separately.

Courtney found this Forever 21 skirt that doesn't allow for much movement:

Like, at all. Or else the chocha will make its debut.

Can you guess what company this ad is for?

Kasheia thinks this pose should be titled "Don't Offer Your Chocha." I agree.

Jen found this "chocha dust ruffle:"

Chocha dust ruffle, seriously. You guys crack me up.

I wouldn't want to run into her in a dark alley:

Lizzie says: Perhaps the most disturbing feature is the drawn-on breasts, which make it look like the poor model is dressed only in a scarf around her butt and some scraps of aluminum foil. Not a good look.

Kim titled her email "A well-placed hand:"

She adds: If it wasn't for the strategically placed hand we'd be staring at more than a pretty girl in chains.

Speaking of well-placed limbs, Stephanie sent me this photo:

That's a risky shot, right there.

Liz hits the nail on the head:

She says: This is Monica Cruz, the younger and mildly famous sister of Penelope Cruz. She is apparently posing at a Tampax sponsored event, while wearing a dress that if it were 3 inches shorter would allow us all to know if she uses their product.

So, Mary sent in this picture, which is a great Don't Show-cha Your Chocha example, but the hemline of her shirt is a bit more distracting:

Superwoman, huh? Not sure how easy it is to fight bad guys when your boobs keep falling out the bottom of your top.

The awesome Rebecca submits photographic evidence that Kenneth Cole mannequins need to learn to close up shop:

Come on, all of New York City doesn't need to see that. Save it for your mannequin life partner.

Here's a great one from Christine:

She says: Marion Cotillard can probably do no sartorial wrong, but she looks like she's really regretting this get-up.

Tiffany sent in the next two, along with the spot-on commentary:

Yeeeeah. She might be all pretty and Brazilian or whatever but if she ever has to pick up that kid, I don't even want to know what's going to happen.

I don't even know what to say. She's totally creating her own chocha experience there. Maybe she's jealous her shirt/dress/whatever isn't as short as Camila Alves. [Editor's note: How great is the phrase "chocha experience"? It sounds like a virtual reality ride at Disneyland.]

Reader Liz found these chocha-spotlighting bloomers that are, ummm, sort of terrifying:

I feel like I saw these on that Dateline special about purity parties.

And finally, Josi sent me a hilarious Tour de Chocha, if you will:

She says: When I spotted this spread in the UO early fall catalog I instantly thought of your awesome DSYC feature. My favourite part is how the model's expression progressively changes throughout the spread:

Exibit A: 2nd picture to left of the top row
"WTF? You expect me to wear this as a dress?"

Exibit B: Next picture over to the right
"Well, maybe I can make it work if I pull it down a bit..."

Exibit C: 2nd picture to the right of the top row
"I guess I should should cross my legs and turn my head in shame."

Exibit D: 1st picture to the right of the top row
"I wonder if anyone would notice if I murdered the stylist..."

Exibit E: 3rd picture to the right of the bottom row
"Not only am I pants-less, but this t-shirt is sheer? Awkwaaaaard."

Exibit F: 1st picture to the right of the bottom row
The model has clearly lost her soul.

If you come across a great Don't Show-cha Your Chocha example, feel free to send it my way! daddylikeyblog@gmail.com

The Launch

2009-11-06T12:19:00.000-08:00

Color-coordinated book cover and panties.

So, my book launch party was AMAZING. Tons of great people. Tons of great cookies. Tons of great clothes. (My three favorite things, natch! Saying "natch!" is my fourth favorite.) I had a wonderful time meeting new people and reconnecting with old friends and signing my friend Kyle's book as "The Beaver." (I think he meant Woodrow, but we'll never be sure.)

My boyfriend just informed me that I look like I'm doing the "bend and snap" from Legally Blonde in this picture, and who's to say I wasn't?

Sequins!

Signing a book for the lovely Lindsay!

So cute!

Thank you SO much to all who were able to attend, and to Mabel & Zora for providing the perfect venue. I kind of want to have a book launch party every week, although I'm not sure that's feasible.

Check out more great photos of the event at Streetwalker PDX!

p.s. I also wanted to encourage you all to enter the Closet Confidential giveaway over at the Handbag Heaven blog--they're giving away FIVE copies, so your chances of winning are reeaaalll good!

Awesome Affordable Etsy Find of the Week + Party Invitation!

2009-11-05T12:50:00.000-08:00

Purple Hydrangea Stretchy Headband, $10

Bella Fiore, an Etsy shop based out of Portland, is stocked with the most beautiful handmade headbands. This purple hydrangea number makes me want to have dark curly hair because how gorgeous would it look with dark curly hair? And wasn't that an eloquent sentence?

Speaking of Portland and hair accessories, I'll be wearing one of Bella Fiore's beautiful headbands to my book launch party tonight, and I'd love to see any Portland-area readers there! Here's the info:

Time: 6:30 to 8:30 tonight (stop by any time!)

Place: Mabel & Zora, aka The Cutest Lil' Boutique Ever, 748 NW 11th Ave, P-Town.

Sustenance: Pretty cookies, champagne, sparkling cider, and a lovely vintage two-buck chuck.

Shopping: Books will be available for sale and guests will also receive 15% off any one item in the store, which is super exciting!

Freebies: We have some awesome lil' favors available for guests, along with giveaways including a Bella Fiore headband, a free book, and a fabulous necklace from Bambi and Snowflake!

Shameless pleading: Please, please, please come out, and feel free to bring a friend or three. I'd love to meet you!

Tuesday Top 5!

2009-11-03T13:02:00.000-08:00

My body type is often referred to as an "apple." Sometimes a "watermelon." Sometimes "James Gandolfini." Put simply, my belly is bigger than my hips. Every fashion tutorial I've ever read for "apple bodies" firmly dictates that our kind should wear only structured garments, lest we end up looking like, well, James Gandolfini.

A couple weeks ago, I defied these orders and bought a big, shapeless cozy sweater. I bought it even though the sales clerk advised me not to buy it, saying it was "big" and "shapeless." I bought it because wearing it is like wearing a blanket with bell sleeves and cute little tassels around the collar and it's perfect for winter and I love it and also I get a thrill out of rebelling from fashion rules. So there. Bada bing, bada boom.

Top 5 Super-Cozy Shapeless Blanket Sweaters

Blue Draped Cardigan, $24.80, Forever 21

Cheap Monday Robyn Cardigan, $98, Urban Outfitters

Love Change Open Front Cardigan, $42, Macys

Laurie B. Allure Cardigan Coat, $198, Nordstrom

Turtleneck Cape (awesome!), $49.99, Ann Taylor Loft

Are you guys as excited about sweater season as I am? Do you have a favorite sweater?

High Fashion Haiku

2009-11-02T22:55:00.000-08:00

If Batman dabbled

in cross-dressing, I'm guessing

he'd be into these.

Giuseppe Zanotti swarovski-embellished sandals, $1,150 (just the right price for this economy, no?), here.

Blogback Mountain!

2009-11-02T01:57:00.000-08:00

The Sunday Best takes us on a rollicking romp through a lifetime of hairstyles, culminating in his fantastic present-day coif.

I think this is the first pair of leggings my dad and I could both gush over. So gorgeous.

The sweet and stylish Becky of Gilding the Frilly was kind enough to set up a giveaway of my book--please pop over for a chance to win, and to check out her persuasive endorsement of the cute nightgown.

What is in your life portfolio?

Amber helped create the most beautiful jewelry shoot I've seen in a long time. Go, girl!

My Portland peeps need to check out The Neat Sheet for the scoop on local fashion, events, and shopping opportunities. Karen, the creator of the site, totally rocks so show her some love!

Ambika as 1940s nurse = awesome.

Clare as Waldo = adorable.

Haley as Beth Ditto = amazing. (OK, OK, I'll stop with the Halloween fashion blogger formulas, but seriously, I could go on all day!)

To do: DIY my own pair of badass fringed pumps.

The Art of Wearing Wigs

Sarah Von has some fabulous advice for conquering the uglies.

Sal's weekly outfit roundups are fun to look at and fun to read and just generally inspiring and delicious.

"How to wear colors without looking crazy."

Some nanowrimo inspiration (and some nanowrimo opening night fashion!).

Michelle bought a pair of counterfeit Vivienne Westwood shoes and wants to make sure it doesn't happen to you, too!

I would most definitely wear 7-pound pants if they involved leather and chainmail.

Speaking of leather and chainmail, Nubby has a great post on Style Essentials.

Also maybe speaking of leather and chainmail: How to spot a flicker fetishist.

And finally, this is probably the best blog post ever written. Ever.

I Heart Halloween!

2009-10-31T18:58:00.000-07:00

I'm finishing up my Nancy Wilson (above right) costume, getting ready to head out to meet my friend Katelyn (aka Ann Wilson, left), who will attempt to crimp our hair and then off into the night we'll go. I've gotta warm up my vocal chords, too, because god knows how many times we'll have to sing "Barracuda" to answer the question, "What is 'Heart'?"

Have a safe and happy Halloween, everyone! What are/were you going as?

UPDATE: Here's our best Heart impression:

Also here's me with my new friend, Drunk Guy in a Poncho:

Tango & James and Milkshakes & Free Willy

2009-10-29T00:34:00.000-07:00

My absolutely favorite thing about blogging is that it has introduced me to a group of people (including you!) who are so smart and talented and awesome that if I were to hit the lottery tomorrow my first order of business would be to fly them all to Portland and take them out for Burgerville pumpkin milkshakes. Then we would braid each other's hair and watch Free Willy, and all my smart, talented, awesome new friends would be like, "Ummm...why did we come here, again?"

So anyway, one of these awesome blogging friends is the lovely Lisa from Ninaribena Makes... I've been slightly obsessed with her since she perfectly recreated an iconic Carrie Bradshaw shirt, and now I'm lucky enough to have her fabulous Etsy shop, Tango & James, as a Daddy Likey sponsor.

I just adore her selection of funky handmade accessories and housewares:

I'd wear these to our upcoming pumpkin milkshake party. Delicious.

p.s. I wanted to apologize ahead of time if posting is a bit light around here for the next week or so: Besides Halloween and a friend's birthday festivities, I'm prepping for my book launch party next Thursday, which you should totally come to if you can! Feel free to email me for more info!

Tuesday Top 5: Best Costume Ideas Ever

2009-10-27T00:01:00.000-07:00

My friend Meg is crafty and clever and creative and she is being a carwash for Halloween. How could I not invite her to write up a guest post?

Top 5 Last-Minute Halloween Costume Ideas Guaranteed to Snag You a "Most Creative Costume" Award
(by Meg)

1. Smart Deer

Imagine you are a smart deer and you have a gift certificate to Home Depot. What would you buy? Probably an ORANGE SAFETY VEST.

To protect yourself during hunting season, make yourself a set of ears by cutting out two paper deer ears and taping them to a headband. If you want to be a man-deer, I saw about 300 sets of headband antlers hanging in the Dollar Store’s Christmas section last weekend. There was a tuft of white tinsel glued around the antlers, which is a huuuuge bonus because you can peel it off and use it as part of your tail. Otherwise, cut out a paper tail, and if you feel ambitious, two hooves you can tape to black shoes. Wear any brown leggings or pants and a shirt, and then put on your safety vest.

2. Electric Eel

I went on a caving trip with a tour group, and when we stopped for lunch, the tour guide introduced us to his favorite eel. The eel lived under a rock in the river next to our picnicking site, so I fed him a piece of ham. He hissed at me, and then ate the whole thing in 1 bite. This is when I learned eels were sassy and fun. To turn yourself into a sassy, fun eel for Halloween, you’ll need shiny black clothes and a blue glow-necklace. If you already own shiny black leggings or anything that is capable of producing an electric shock, you are not allowed to choose any of the other 4 costume ideas, because you are destined to be an electric eel.

After you’re in your shiniest, blackest, sleekest outfit, activate and then unsnap a blue glow necklace. Use clear packing tape to secure it down the length of your back. If you can’t find a necklace, use a line of blue glow sticks. This costume is best for parties in dark, carpeted rooms, where you'll glow best and you can rub your feet on the floor to shock people with static electricity. A snack of ham is encouraged, but not required.

3. Optical Illusion

Wear every single one of your black-and-white checked and striped pieces of clothing in confusing layers. Swaying back and forth and vaguely hooo-ing at people is a guaranteed optical treat.

4. Tanning Bed

Extend your arms straight ahead and watch how many people jump in for a tan! You'll need purple glow sticks, an instant therma-pack or 2, and a bottle of dark brown liquid foundation. Wear a neutral color, and then use clear packing tape to line your arms, chest, and stomach with as many purple glow sticks to achieve the true density of UV lighting in a tanning bed. If you're going to be outside, slip a thermal pack under your shirt for a warmer, more realistic tanning experience. After people are done, offer to spread a little color on their skin.

5. ½ Baby Boa Constrictor, ½ Blood Pressure Cuff

Baby boa constrictors and blood pressure cuffs squeeze people's arms with the exact same intensity and speed. Illustrating this fact with a Venn Diagram is nice, but turning it into your costume is a huge statement. Recommended for people who are comfortable squeezing other people's biceps throughout the night.

Find 1 long green sock, 1 white mitten, some googly eyes, a turkey baster and a nice sturdy piece of string or tubing. Make yourself a little bracelet with the string, and leave 5-6 inches hanging off the end. Cut the bulb of the turkey baster off of its basting stick, and attach it to the end of the string like it's a beautiful charm. Slide your white mitten on over your hand and wrist and it's a blood pressure cuff! Put the googly eyes on the non-palm side of your green sock, and put this on the other hand. Now ask people to close their eyes and guess what is squeezing their arm-- a baby boa or a blood pressure monitor? Tally the results!

p.s. Also check out last year's Halloween Costume Chronicles contest for some hilarious Halloween stories!

Jeans Shopping 101 + Free Jeans, Anyone?

2009-10-26T14:31:00.000-07:00

To continue the proud Daddy Likey tradition of book excerpts and corresponding giveaways, I present to you a small section of Chapter 1: The Definitive Guide to Shopping for Jeans While Retaining At Least One-Third of Your Self-Esteem (and at least one-half of your paycheck), followed by a chance to win some gorgeous denim for yourself:

Jeans Shopping 101

• Plan ahead. For example, don't schedule your shopping trip right after your dinner at the pasta buffet. Leave plenty of time to peruse the store. Pack a flask and rescue flares in case things get really bad.

• Know exactly what kind of jeans you're shopping for and dress accordingly. If you're looking for relaxed everyday jeans, wear casual shoes, shirt, and undergarments. If you're searching for some trendier denim to wear with heels at night, then wear your stilettos and a clingy top to the store. Want a pair of skinny jeans to tuck into your boots? Wear your boots into the dressing room and tuck those suckers in.

• Keep a ballpark price in mind. And no, $20 - $200 is not a ballpark. Is this going to be a sale rack kind of day, or is this going to be the day you spend some (or all) of your savings on a pair of designer jeans?

• If you usually have a hard time finding jeans, steer clear of smaller stores and boutiques, and head straight for large stores withlargerselections. There's nothing worse than trying on every single pair of jeans in a store only to go home empty-handed, convinced you're some kind of mutant who can't wear normal clothes, when in fact, the store only offered three different styles.

• If you have a little junk in the trunk or have been blessed with a Rubenesque figure, you should check out stores that specialize in larger sizes—they usually have more options, and the staff has a better knowledge of flattering cuts and colors.

• Conversely, if you have a smaller frame, or are just looking for a bargain, don't be afraid to take a peek at the juniors’ section, especially for trendier styles. Prices usually stay below $50, but beware the super-low-rise fashions, which only tend to look good on svelte 13-year-olds.

• As much as I adore thrift and vintage stores, they are not dependable sources for jeans. If you stumble across a fabulous pair of worn-in Levi's while browsing at the thrift store, good for you. But usually, the selection is too limited and unpredictable to count on finding a good fit.

• No matter what store you go to, try on five hundred pairs of jeans . . . and then try on five more. Do you see why you should carve out some time for this?

• If you hyperventilate at the thought of endless shelves of denim, familiarize yourself with the Denim Field Guide and Maslow's Hierarchy of Jeans (both featured in the book!) to help you make sense of it all. You could breathe into a paper bag too, if that helps.

And to help you with that "retaining one-half of your paycheck" thing, I'm so excited to offer you a free pair of fabulous jeans from a new premium denim company based out of NYC called Antique Rivet!

The winner will receive a pair of these embellished straight leg jeans in size 0-13 (I'm so sorry to my beautiful readers who fall outside that range, I swear I'll make it up to you!) which normally retail for $85. Recessionista, baby! (Oh my god, I'm so upset I just wrote that. I apologize.)

For a chance to win, please leave a comment describing your best jeans shopping strategy, or how you found your favorite pair of jeans. Thanks so much for entering, and I'll choose a winner at random a week from today (Monday, November 2nd!). As always, blogging or tweeting about this giveaway will earn you an extra entry! Best of luck!

Updated to add: International readers are welcome to enter! We can have your prize shipped to me and then I'll ship it out to you, wherever you may be!

Aaaaannnnnnd our lucky winner is BAM! Thank you all so much for entering and for all the amazing tips and tricks! I learned so much from reading your comments! And not to worry--another great giveaway is coming up soon! :)