The Great Joe Bivins is Bored and Egocentric and This is His Unpopular Blog

tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-339668922010-01-07T18:41:33.655-05:00The Great Joe Bivins is Bored and Egocentric and This is His Unpopular BlogThe Great Joe Bivins is a twenty-something unemployed shut-in with a lot of misplaced anger who thinks very highly of himself and very lowly of everyone else. He writes funny things that you can read on the internet.The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.comBlogger214125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33966892.post-24665277735136957802010-01-07T18:02:00.003-05:002010-01-07T18:41:33.665-05:00The Doodoo Butter Invasion

[These Twitter posts have been modified from their original version. New material not in the Twitter posts has been added for this release.]So I've been gone a couple days and not working on my comics or anything because I had a problem with my place and had to stay at my mom's house for a couple days while it was sorted.What was the problem? I won't tell you because it is disgusting. Let's just

The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33966892.post-7447226993614020942009-12-19T02:58:00.002-05:002009-12-19T04:20:41.019-05:00COMIC: Joe Bivins: Man Genius - "Feliz NaviDEATH: Shadows of Noel"

It took a year, but the 2008 Christmas Special is complete. Actually it didn't take a year, I worked on it for less than a month and then let it sit from January to September, when I got back to it, again for less than a month, and then I finally hit my stride in December and did 34 pages in 18 days.The hope was to finish the 2008 Special in time to do the 2009 Special before Christmas, but

The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33966892.post-13777933175028206592009-12-17T05:25:00.002-05:002009-12-17T05:29:02.183-05:00Pure Improvisation and Meticulous Forethought

Here's a thing I wrote while talking to myself:Humor is an art like any other, and in humor, as in all art, there is an eternal struggle between pure improvisation and meticulous forethought. As the artist you must walk between these two lines like a drunk with double vision failing a sobriety test, moving towards one and then the other but never touching either line. For pure improvisation is

The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33966892.post-65112806041593568362009-12-11T04:52:00.002-05:002009-12-11T05:38:18.244-05:00HAIC: The Lost Story

Sometimes when looking for something in my files I get lost looking at old forgotten drawings and reading half-started scripts and fragments of stories. At some point I wrote a few lines of a sequel to HAIC: Women Troubles, which is the main HAIC story I've eradicated from the Joe Bivins: Man Genius continuity, mainly because it relies heavily on HAIC's lack of a fourth wall, which JB:MG does

The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33966892.post-31466704882862968622009-11-30T08:27:00.002-05:002009-11-30T09:11:09.424-05:00Day Thirty-Five: Blogsperiment Results Show

Bivins' First Law of ElectroWonk Success states that success on the interwebz comes not from talent, but from determination. A flood of shit-awful content will always beat a trickle of brilliance.Bivins' Second Law of ElectroWonk Success states that if you talk about topics that people frequently do Google searches for those people will end up on your blog.What am I getting at? Well, the

The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33966892.post-13745840990250754342009-11-29T11:08:00.004-05:002009-11-29T18:57:28.876-05:00Day Thirty-Four: I'm Probably Not Going to Post Again for a Year After This Thing Ends Tomorrow

So I made a new Soundclick page and put Acoustafuckit up there and I've put a little player in the sidebar here that you can listen to all the tracks (except for the Secret Bonus Track for Closers Only, which is only on my personal version of the album.) You can also go to the page and download all the tracks individually, and here's the front and back covers if you want them. (Also it seems when

The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33966892.post-60586650720428521902009-11-28T15:27:00.006-05:002009-11-28T15:54:27.331-05:00Day Thirty-Three: Animals in Nature with Weaponized Junk

Holy crap did you read Dinosaur Comics yesterday? Quoth the T-Rex:"Yeah, when people talk to me about intelligent design I yell 'BEDBUGS HAVE INSTITUTIONALIZED STAB RAPES!'."The title text also references "weaponized junk", which might be the best neologism yet coined in that comic (jennifing included).Yesterday it was cold (but not freezing) so my mom, my sister and I went to the beach. We

The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33966892.post-5745883231611412812009-11-27T18:54:00.005-05:002009-11-27T19:18:23.399-05:00Day Thirty-Two: Footsteps, Counted Them Myself, Thirty-Two Footsteps

Google.co.uk search: "nut type puns"Gotta love them wacky British type people.I've been listening to Acoustafuckit over and over again trying to decide if I want to take another whack at any of the tracks. There aren't any terribly noticeable mistakes, but in abstract musiciany ways I feel like some of the tracks could be better.In a public restroom the other day I encountered for the first time

The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33966892.post-80208146513871450392009-11-26T05:14:00.002-05:002009-11-26T06:10:56.030-05:00Day Thirty-One: Harry from Third Rock from the Sun HASN'T had an acting gig in a really long time. It's sad.

Have to do this early before I go to my mom's house. I'm not leaving for hours but I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep so we're doing this now. Also I've been wanting to pay off the Third Rock joke since yesterday.Last night I went to the mailbox to put a DVD back in it (I know it won't leave till Friday but I didn't have anything better to do.) The trailer park was chock full of

The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33966892.post-36794428248489988182009-11-25T15:56:00.003-05:002009-11-25T16:18:55.862-05:00Day Thirty: Dick from Third Rock from the Sun IS a freaky serial killer on this season of Dexter

Well, I finished the acoustic album I've been working on for the past few days, and made album art for it, AND got Windows Media Player and my mp3 player to display the correct album art for it (though WMP kept me on my toes by mixing up the front cover with the back at first, but I fixed it). This illustrates the amount of work I put into a typical project. Time from inception of idea to

The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33966892.post-3634344407727237572009-11-24T04:01:00.002-05:002009-11-24T04:59:43.917-05:00Day Twenty-Nine: Tommy From Third Rock From The Sun IS Cobra Commander!

Like I said last week when I bashed Transformers 2, up next on the chopping block is another toy-franchise-turned-cartoon-franchise-turned-much-delayed-motion-picture: G.I. Joe: The Most Ridiculous Idea for a Movie Since Transformers.It's been a string of epically bad blockbuster films lately, before Transformers 2: Revenge of the Robots That Turn Into Cars and Some Other Things was Indiana Jones

The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33966892.post-21429023122046559272009-11-23T18:31:00.003-05:002009-11-23T19:17:57.718-05:00Day Twenty-Eight: Bad Food and Rude Noises

Last night I went out to put my Netflix movies in the mailbox and then I went over to the 7-11 to get some snacks. After I ate the snacks I recorded myself playing some songs and as I was kind of urpy (from the snacks), while singing one song I burped directly into the microphone. I haven't listened to the whole thing yet and I can't remember which song it should be on but I REALLY hope it's

The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33966892.post-7312188713055133482009-11-22T16:30:00.002-05:002009-11-22T16:48:40.215-05:00Day Twenty-Seven: Day Three Times Three Times Three

Watching Office reruns again. Bored. Bored? Yes bored. Bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored. And now I've come on the Internet to inflict my boredom onto you, unsuspecting reader! Searching for nut puns or that funny picture from The Day the Earth Stood Still I made or "jennifing" (surprising how many people Google words that Ryan North made up.)Is it not weird that they

The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33966892.post-55394271961768256492009-11-21T17:27:00.003-05:002009-11-21T17:42:54.110-05:00Day Twenty-Six: Here's What *I* Heard

I have no need for an attorney, so the ones who constantly bombard me with commercials whenever I watch TV are annoying as hell. One of them makes several questionable claims and whenever I hear it my brain makes up a more believable version:"If you have questions about your case, email me at my personal email address. This is the same address I use to make appointments with hookers on Craigslist

The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33966892.post-57179896723162251612009-11-20T21:03:00.004-05:002009-11-20T21:38:35.746-05:00Day Twenty-Five: :eviF-ytnewT yaD

Ack, nothing on TV. Why am I being punished for not liking shows about women who talk to ghosts or professional wrestling or Dateline or reruns of crappy shows or Shrek the Third (they haven't been good since the first one...and even that was just okay)?While trying to come up with something else to write, the Blog was spammed AGAIN. It's always the same post that gets spammed, too. What is it

The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33966892.post-29677074364309520412009-11-19T15:32:00.002-05:002009-11-19T16:11:35.239-05:00Day Twenty-Four: Living Crap

What the living crap am I watching? (looks it up) Crossroads Cafe? Originally aired on PBS? That explains this lengthy educational segment between scenes. It's kind of like Twin Peaks without all the interesting stuff. Or Saved By The Bell but without the young people.Hey! The douchey guy with an acoustic guitar show is on! "Yeah, when I wrote that song I was getting over a bad breakup. My hair?

The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33966892.post-14746132748445435122009-11-18T22:04:00.002-05:002009-11-18T22:36:22.661-05:00Day Twenty-Three: Things I Only Noticed the Second Time Watching the New Star Trek

Uhura is apparently already a Lieutenant when they leave for Vulcan even though she's still at the academy.McCoy says something to Nurse Chapel in the first sick bay scene but she is off-screen.Apparently in the alternate universe stardates are now just the year in AD plus some decimals. I hope they realize some Trekkies actually think there was a logic behind the old stardate system!The uniforms

The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33966892.post-70710297211493670582009-11-17T19:19:00.003-05:002009-11-17T19:58:06.049-05:00Day Twenty-Two: Transformers 2 Was Fairly Sucky

I watched Transformers 2 the other day. That movie was all kinds of awful. Even worse than Transformers 1, actually. I realized while watching it that my main criticism of the first film was that the robots take too long to show up, but Transformers 2 STARTS with a huge robot fight and honestly that's even more boring. The big fight at the end of 1 was intensely boring and the big fights ALL THE

The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33966892.post-16363109196933053302009-11-17T01:51:00.002-05:002009-11-17T02:14:54.555-05:00Day Twenty-One: Two Hours Too Late

Judges? Oh right I'm the only judge. STILL COUNTS FUCKERS.I was out all day, took a road trip up to the panhandle with my mom and my sister. Mom had business up there, I love long car trips, and my sister doesn't like to be left out.We managed to avoid any semblance of civilization after leaving the Orlando city limits, truckstops were our reality until we reached our destination, a string of

The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33966892.post-16036184726017638082009-11-15T14:36:00.004-05:002009-11-15T14:59:40.765-05:00Day Twenty: Trailer Park People Are Assholes, Aliens(?)

&&&&&&&&& &&&&& && &&& && && &&& &&&& && && && &&& No I'm just kidding folks.Last night the people next door had some sort of gathering, I believe to watch a sporting event as I could hear an announcer blaring on their television and the kind of shouting they were doing was clearly related to an athletic competition.The night before I went out around 10:30 to go to 7-11, I started to walk up my

The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33966892.post-25994945771456153882009-11-14T21:01:00.002-05:002009-11-14T21:05:25.226-05:00Day Nineteen: Here's a Bunch of Underscores!

___ __ _______ ____ ____ ______ __ _ _____ ____ ____ ________ ______ ________ ____________ ___ ____ __ ___ _____ ____ ____ ____ ______ ______ ____ _____ _____ __ ____ ___ ___ ______ ___ ____ _____ ____ ____ _____ _____ ____ ___ ___ ____ _____ ____ _________ _____ ___ _____ ___ _____ ___ __ ____ _____ __________ _____ ___ ___________ ___ ________ _______ _______ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____

The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33966892.post-68062319968891406632009-11-13T14:50:00.002-05:002009-11-13T15:05:42.246-05:00Day Eighteen: TWICE AS HARD

From the engine revving noises there would seem to be a biker gang outside my house. Better break out my good numchucks (I am now committed to writing it AND saying it that way) and put on my faded jeans and white tank top and go 80's AMERICAN NINJA STYLE ON THEIR ASSES.I don't know if anyone but me is getting that joke. I don't care I think it's great.Part of me wants to get up and look outside

The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33966892.post-3373517103593731082009-11-12T12:38:00.002-05:002009-11-12T12:54:14.940-05:00Day Seventeen: Boy do I suck at life!

Cold in my house today, wearing my KICK-ASS ACTION COAT. Speaking of, I worked on the comic WHICH FEATURES SAID COAT last night, and by "worked on" I mean I sat with the word processor open glancing intermittently at the script while watching The Office on Netflix. BOTTOM LINE: not much progress! Boy do I suck at life!(time passes)There are train tracks not very far from my place, I can always

The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33966892.post-89335531146953591342009-11-11T16:06:00.004-05:002009-12-22T17:10:46.478-05:00Day Sixteen: Mail holidays screw up my Netflix schedule.

God damnit is there no mail today? DAMN HELL ASS.Why can't they make Veteran's Day one of those always-on-a-Monday holidays? It's not as annoying when the mail doesn't come on Monday as opposed to the middle of the week. The only reason it's on November 11th is because of Armistice Day and I think just about everyone who fought in World War I is dead now anyway. I love that Michael McKean quoted

The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33966892.post-3027168526544267032009-11-10T19:17:00.002-05:002009-11-10T19:49:30.721-05:00Day Fifteen: Fuck this day. This day is fucked.

Only because I can't think of anything else to write, here's a story: yesterday I went to the store and Bailey (the cashier that pissed me off last week, and that is definitely his name by the way, I confirmed it yesterday) was working. As I walked in I briefly caught eyes with him, and he totally gave me the stink-eye. Somehow I found this extremely validating and I was in a good mood the whole

The Great Joe Bivinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14283728775013216856blmwxyp@yahoo.com0