Here's to Hindsight

#6 Things I Love

2009-08-22T15:42:00.002-04:00

#6: Bucky Eye Mask

Call me a dork, but I love using an eye mask when I sleep. This one is my fave! It's all smooshy and soft. PLUS it has a little pocket up front where earplugs fit. It's perfect for flights. The strap is adjustable velcro, so it fits even the biggest craniums.

I'm on my 3rd Bucky. And I'll probably get a 4th soon. Me likey.

#7 Things I Love

2009-06-11T14:05:00.003-04:00

#7: Rita's Italian Ice Mango Gelati

Before I lived in a town that had a Rita's, I only had the pleasure of eating there a few times a year. But Anderson has a Rita's! So I must exercise restraint. It's tough. Because the combo of mango Italian ice and vanilla custard is like a big cloud of awesome raining joy and happiness into your taste buds.

Say hello to my favorite tasty treat. It's the one in the middle.

If you decide you'd like to try it for yourself, here's a handy-dandy list of locations.

#8 Things I Love

2009-06-08T23:28:00.004-04:00

#8: Anderson, SC

Where? It's where I live now. In case you're not up to date on TLC trivia, I moved from NYC to small town South Carolina in January. And I didn't really want to, but I knew God was calling me to do it.

Somewhere in the process, He changed my heart. I don't even know if it happened gradually or instantly. But it happened. And here's how I know:

1. I went back to NYC to visit last weekend.
2. It was exactly the same... the most glorious place on earth!!
3. Somehow, I wanted to leave the most glorious place and return to the place God has called me.

While Anderson is my home now, and NYC was my home then, what I realized on this trip is that God is my Home. And I'm okay to follow Him wherever He calls me, because it's where His peace surrounds and sustains me.

Actually, I'm better than okay to follow Him -- I'm ecstatic that I get to hear His voice at all, because even when He's not saying what I want to hear, the God of the Universe is speaking to me, directing me in His will because of His great love.

And that is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. In any city. And every city. :)

#9 Things I Love

2009-04-19T01:20:00.007-04:00

#9: Authority

God has been humbling me lately, showing me the limits of my so-called strength and wisdom. Here's an excerpt from part of that journey.

--

I started meeting with my first mentor the month I turned 18. She was in her mid 50's. She'd been married twice -- once before she became a Christian. She'd had an abortion. She knew life in a way I hadn't (and never wanted to). She modeled what it was like to love Jesus with all my heart.

Shortly thereafter, I started my career as a full-time musician. About a year into that process, I acquired another mentor -- a man in his late 40's. He'd been a musician for over 20 years, played nearly 40 instruments, and was loaded with theological insights. He modeled what it was like to love Jesus with all my mind.

My mentors have developed my faith to degrees that I cannot quantify. So... why did I start to feel so weak? My relationship with the Lord has been intimate and fulfilling... I've been growing via church and podcast sermons and books written by dynamic women of God... but I felt like I was starving...

Then I had an epiphany:

- I am a female (read: created to be led / Eph. 5:22-23).

- I am single (no husband to lead me).

- I run my own ministry, alone (i.e. not on a church staff). This accounts for about 60 hours of my week.

It's true that we're all under God's authority, but He designed us to submit to human authority as well. And while I'm under the authority of my dad and my pastor in a very real sense, it's not a personal, daily kind of authority. My ability to handle this reached its breaking point recently -- I needed more. I needed to soak up the lives of people who know God better than me and who have walked with Him longer. So I talked to my mentor, and she agreed to increase the number of times we meet and to bring her husband occasionally (to add another dimension). I set up a meeting with another older woman that I'd like to spend time with, too.

And suddenly, I started to feel safe again, strong again. Now, I hope, I am learning how to love God with all my strength. Somehow that must begin with realizing how very weak I am and that I must rely on Him even to give me the strength to love Him with.

I need weight above me. I crave godly authority. It allows me to rest. It strengthens me.

It's taboo to say this in modern America, but... I don't want to be in charge, and I don't care about independence. The authority structure is not something that man invented or even that God invented for mankind. It's something that has existed within the Holy Trinity for all eternity (I Cor 11:3), and we get to benefit from it.

Hallelujah!

#10 Things I Love

2009-02-24T22:02:00.004-05:00

#10: Words

You're going to hate me after this post, because it's kind of soapbox-y. But honestly, it's all in good fun. So here we go.

I have a handful of favorite words. Topping the list is "archipelago." I love a clever pun or a phrase with a flourish (like "a phrase with a flourish" for instance). I even like smashing words together to come up with new words (e.g. "friendationship").

My love for words has prompted me to keep a list of the non-words I encounter. The posers, if you will. They've been slowly creeping into our vocabulary, and I'd like to make a stab at eliminating them from our lexicon. Here we go:

- Comfortability / Uncomfortability
These two cause me great discomfort. I'd like to feel more comfort.

- Irregardless
Regardless of whether you think this is a word or not, you shouldn't use it.

- I's
Example of usage: "Come to Lisa and I's apartment."

This got really screwed up because teachers told us that we should always use "I" when referring to ourselves. But that's only part of the story. Without getting all Little, Brown Handbook on you, here's a quick way to determine whether you should use "I" or "me" in your sentence. How would you say that same sentence if Lisa weren't involved? You'd say, "Come to my apartment." Let's try another one. What about "Have dinner with Lisa and I?" Eliminate Lisa and what you're left with is, "Have dinner with I." FAIL.

Proper usage:

"Come to Lisa's and my apartment."
"Have dinner with Lisa and me."

One thing you can always bank on, though: "I's" is never a word.

I know you didn't ask for an English lesson, so feel free to send I your hate mail now. It will bring I great uncomfortability when Lisa and me read it. Teehee. :)

Irregardless,
TLC:)

#11 Things I Love

2008-12-11T14:50:00.003-05:00

#11: Gospel For Asia

If you're looking for an organization where you can sponsor a child or help dig a well, there are lots of go-to options. Here's why I chose Gospel For Asia.

- Every penny that I contribute goes directly to the child I sponsor. None of it is taken out for administrative purposes. Every person on staff with GFA raises their own financial support so that they don't have to draw from my donations.

- GFA promises that the child I sponsor will hear the Gospel every day at school. These children are taught to read via reading The Bible, so they learn about God's love for them for the first times in their lives, and often go home and share the Good News with their entire families. While many organizations can't guarantee that the Gospel will be shared with the children, many of GFA's missionaries risk their lives daily to share God's love even when they're beaten or their homes are burned as a result.

All that to say... I'm ecstatic about the new GFA Christmas Catalog! Christmas tends to drive me bonkers because everyone goes insane about gifts and presents and... frankly, I think it's a time of year when we instill selfishness into children and we continue to thrive on that greed throughout our adult lives. So let's turn the tide, shall we?

If you're still wondering what to get friends and family this year, please give something that will make a difference in the livelihood of struggling families in India. Gospel For Asia has options in all price ranges. You can find the rest at: GFA Gifts.

Gospel Literature: $1
Asian Language Bible: $3
8 New Testaments: $4
Blanket: $5
Chicken: $11
Vocational Training: $30
BioSand Water Filter: $30
Pigs: $55
Sewing Machine: $85
Bicycle: $110
Goats: $120
Jesus Wells: $1,000
New House: $5,000

I also recommend combining your money with a friend or Bible study group to do this as an act of charity during this Christmas season!

#12 Things I Love

2008-11-04T16:18:00.002-05:00

#12: Days when the air is the same temperature as the surface of your skin

Oh wow. It's been a while, hasn't it? Well, I've been busy with lots of life-changes and such. Also, I have a hand that is swollen to the size of a SmartCar. Apparently my joints are swelling and exploding with anger toward me. So while I'm tempted to list my #12 as "My Regular-Sized Left Hand," I will refrain. After all, the doctor prescribed some meds that are supposed to reduce this business within a week. Here's hoping.

By the way, it doesn't feel good to type with most of my left hand's fingers, so I've been doing this thing where I poke around with my right hand only. TEDIOUS.

So... Fave #12. I'm in South Carolina right now, crashing here between shows. The weather at lunchtime was 74. And while I've never taken the external temperature of my skin (I know I'm supposed to be 98.6 on the inside, but who knows about the outside? I'd google it but yeah... again with the one hand thing), I'm guessing it's somewhere around 72-75. Because that feels absolutely perfect.

I could sit outside forever on days like this, staring at my giant Stay-Puft Marshmallow Hand.

P.S. Yes, this does make it difficult to play concerts. I'm hoping my skillz will return to their former glory soon!

#13 Things I Love

2008-10-04T02:57:00.005-04:00

#13: Books

I was built to love books. It isn't necessarily in my DNA, but it's certainly in my family. Somehow I learned to wrap my chubby fingers around a book and start reading at age three (probably because I have five older siblings who taught me). My family owns a bookstore, and I began accumulating stacks by my bed when I was six. Nancy Drew was my drug of choice. As well as the little "Our Daily Bread" pamphlets from the church foyer. I heard a preacher say that you can read a chapter of Proverbs for every day of the month, and I started doing that regularly when I was about eight. Some nights, when I was scared, I just read Proverbs 3:24-26 over and over. For a long time, I never touched the rest of the Bible--just Proverbs.

The only fight I ever got into with any of my siblings was with my brother Jason, who accused me of stealing his Lord of the Rings box set. By the way, it was totally mine. Not his. The great irony here is that I don't even like the Lord of the Rings books and only read them because Kemper made me.

In fact, I don't really like fiction much at all. Particularly fantasy fiction. Although there certainly are exceptions, especially Ester's forthcoming book, which is nothing less than brilliant. In general, though, I don't care to read about things that don't exist or relationships that are impossibly perfect. What I lean toward are books about Jesus, biographies, historical non-fiction (particularly about Presidents or giant explosions), memoirs, business books, and leadership books.

Reading helps me engage and grow. It provides me with a variety of topics for conversation, and it feeds my hungry skull. (Later, over sushi, Ester will remind me that "skulls don't eat," and I will acknowledge that she is right while maintaining my preference for awkward personification.)

What do you read?

We interrupt this blog series...

2008-09-25T08:22:00.004-04:00

...to bring you some news from Gospel For Asia, the organization I work with in India that builds schools for the Dalit children. If you've been to a concert, you may have heard me talk about them. At any rate, I got this email from one of the women on staff yesterday. These are our brothers and sisters. Prayers appreciated.

It's been an extremely sobering time for us here at the office, we are experiencing something that, apparently we have never seen before in India which is an organized attack against Christians by the fanatical religious groups who believe India should be an entirely Hindu nation.

This all happened with the murder of a leader of the VHP (a radical fundamentalist Hindu group). The media and other radicals have shifted the blame to Christians, and now they are constructing organized attacks against our churches and colleges.

The other night we were praying for an all girls college who - as we found out from an urgent report - were surrounded by a mob... The people are so scared right now, many of them are hiding in jungles and have no idea where their families are.

There's some information here that I found really helpful in better understanding the situation and of course, our website also has what's going on more from the perspective of our specific work.

Here's some stories of what's happening, not in the media but from an independent Christian blogger.

Religious violence in Orissa explained in this video

#14 Things I Love

2008-09-22T10:04:00.010-04:00

#14: Peter Kim

Who is Peter Kim? Don't worry -- I'll get to that. But first, I want to tell you what makes me love him.

Last night, my pastor (Dr. Tim Keller) raised an interesting question: "Why do Christians want other people to become Christians? Why can't they just mind their own business and let other people believe whatever they want?"

Then, being the smart man that he is, he offered this response: Jesus yields explosive, life-changing joy. Explosive, life-changing joy. It is emotionally inconsistent, and possibly even unhealthy, not to share that and to want others to experience it.

Maybe you watched a film that moved you or read a book that stirred your soul. Most likely, you left wanting those you know and care about to see it, you wanted their souls to be stirred, too. At the very least, you wanted to tell them the plot over lunch and see if it awakened in them the very thing it awakened in you. Now imagine that the film took on an eternal weight and power, and that you could carry its joy with you not just forever, but for today, too -- in traffic, on the crowded platform waiting for the delayed train, in your chaotic office working for an angry boss, to your broken home. That is Jesus. Salvation isn't just for eternity, it's for today.

So when I met Peter Kim, he had that explosive joy thing written all over his face. I was walking through the streets of Seoul, South Korea, with three other Americans when he approached us. He grabbed my hand and introduced himself. Forgetting the language barrier and ignoring social mores, he asked our names, smiled at us, and walked with us for a bit. Then, in the pieces of English that he knew, he asked, "You know Jesus Christ?"

I didn't understand him at first. I had been almost put off by his eagerness. But then I knew: this is my brother. His approach is different than mine, but we are family. My heart warmed toward him instantly. And the joy that propels him to speak to me is the joy that propels me daily. Inevitably, some of us will screw it up. Some of us treat the good news like a blatant threat. But screaming on street corners about hell isn't going to communicate explosive joy. Then again, neither is silence. Peter Kim is working to find the balance, and I commend him for that.

Some may call it infringing on personal boundaries, but I call it love.

#15 Things I Love

2008-09-14T22:05:00.007-04:00

#15: Brunch

I have amassed a collection of Brunch Facts & Myths for your amusement. All facts are factual. All myths are mythical. Money-back guarantee!

Myth: Brunch, being the smooshination (I made the word up) of breakfast and lunch, must by definition occur between breakfast hours and lunch hours.

Fact: Although we didn't invent it, NYC has perfected the art of brunch. And since we're the City That Never Sleeps and our bars stay open til 5am and people can barely drag themselves out of bed on the weekends, our official brunch hours are 10am - 4pm. However, most restaurants start serving brunch at either 11am or noon. Don't ever try to eat brunch before 10am or you will have a hard life.

Myth: "Oh, brunch! You can get that at Waffle House 24-7-365. Or IHOP! I just love IHOP!"

Fact: Seriously? I don't even have time to deal with you right now. Take it back.

Fact: The best way to make the most of brunch is to go in groups of 2-4. More than 4 is too many or you will never get a table in this City. If you're elsewhere, take up to 6 or even 8. But remember that conversation is the true food of brunch. Eww. I can't believe I just wrote that sentence. It's true, but still... it makes me feel all Chicken Soup for the Soul or something.

Fact: The best way to order is to do what my friends and I refer to as "A Split." For example, one of us will order an egg/protein dish and the other will order a carb-laden tray of body-killing breads and sugars. Then we split it. That way, we get our carbs and our sweets without having too much of either one. And then we die alone.

Bittersweet Story: My favorite brunch spot in the City has always been a 20-seat hole in the wall called Ninth Street Market. It's a beautiful room with brick walls and a fireplace and fresh flowers on each table. Locals line up an hour early--before the staff even shows up, hoping to get in with the first seating. I had a friend in town for my birthday in May, and he suggested that we go there, but the line seemed too long. Then, somehow, we got in right away. We sat for a couple of hours, talking and drinking coffee and enjoying A Split. The next morning, the owner woke up and didn't want to run a restaurant anymore, so he put all the dishes and chairs on the sidewalk. He fired everyone and put up a "For Rent" sign.

I've had a hard time finding a place I like as much, but I'm not going to stop trying. Every week I'll try out 2 places and see if there are any contenders. If you find yourself in the City on a weekend, drop me an email and I'll tell you my favorite brunch spots!

#16 Things I Love

2008-09-12T10:20:00.005-04:00

#16: Blogs

In honor of my 200th post (woooo!!), I am blogging about my love for blogs. How very meta.

I use the Bloglines RSS feeder, and it has ruined me forever. My daily blogroll includes 77 blogs. Some of the news sites update 50+ times a day. I don't read all the posts but I scan at the very least. I know it's a bit of a "choose your news" situation, and that can be scary, but I try to maintain balance and pull from several outlets. I don't want to narrow the scope of my information and exposure so that it only serves to fuel my current viewpoints.

Some of the other things I read about are: new restaurants in NYC, sales in NYC, real estate in NYC, and um... several blogs by other leaders in the church and people in ministry.

What are your favorite blogs?

#17 Things I Love

2008-09-09T23:25:00.006-04:00

#17: Fashion (in honor of Spring Fashion Week in NYC, which is this week!)

I didn't know an ounce about fashion before I moved to NYC. Somehow I got wrapped up with a bunch of models when I first moved to the City, and the information was imparted to me via osmosis.

I'm not a fashion snob, though. Labels don't mean much to me, and I don't need my style to be perceived as expensive (which is one reason I don't buy fake bags in Chinatown). In fact, I'm quite the frugal shopper. I'll shop on eBay or at TJ Maxx and rarely do I pay full price.

I love outfits that are feminine, creative, and well articulated. If it doesn't catch my eye right off, I pass. That's how I happened upon my favorite purchase from the spring. It's weird and it only cost $12, but I will keep it forever. Tada!

#18 Things I Love

2008-09-09T10:19:00.002-04:00

#18: Redemption

Today is a Psalm 38 kind of day. Which is to say -- I am such a broken person in need of God's nearness and help. Even as I sit and type this, I am wrestling with God a bit. I'm not angry with Him -- I'm just tired. I don't really understand a few of the things He is talking to me about, and I don't know what it looks like to put one foot in front of the other when I'm so confused and exhausted.

But I know this: through my tears of frustration, through confusing conversations with Him, through my disobedience and delay, He carries me. His redemptive love is all-encompassing. He never sleeps, He is never frantic, He is never confused or tired. He can do all the things I cannot.

And I need Him more than answers.

#19 Things I Love

2008-09-08T08:30:00.004-04:00

#19: New York City

Oh, did you think I wasn't going to mention it? Are you kidding? I can't even make it through a day without several hundred thoughts about how awesome this City is and how blessed I am to live here.

Here's a short video about a day in the City that makes me smile.

My favorite line is "The whirlwind has become a breeze." I love the dual meaning of that. Love it. So true.

And if you are paying close attention, there's a brief shot where you'll see a glimpse of my subway stop and the orange Mud Truck beside it. It's when the screen says "except to return." Which is what I always want to do.

#20 Things I Love

2008-09-02T01:58:00.005-04:00

#20: Paris

This past February, I went to Europe for the first time. I hadn't taken a vacation in eight years, and I happened upon a roundtrip flight to London for $300. My friend Jane took a week off work and we hopped across the pond to visit London. In case you haven't heard, the American dollar is about as strong as a third grade Mathlete, especially when compared to the Pound. But thanks to my dear friend Dovie, we had a flat to stay at for free, thereby making it entirely possible for us to visit. London was incredible!

Since the trip was fairly cheap by most standards of international travel, we decided to buy a $90 flight to Paris for a couple of days. Almost immediately upon landing, I was smitten. Smitten. Jane used her champion internet skills to land us a $100 room at the Paris Hilton. (Hah!) It was a couple of blocks from the Eiffel Tower, so we walked around the tower, across the river, grabbed some food, and slowly made our way back at 4:00 a.m. I despised my body's sleep requirements. I didn't want to waste a moment.

I could talk at length about my time in Paris, but the summary would be this: I cannot wait to go back.

Here are two of favorite photos from the trip. The first is the view from the awning under our hotel. The second is a restaurant that Jane and I ate at one night. It was uber-romantic, which means it totally sucked to be there with each other. Hah!

#23 - #21 Things I Love

2008-09-01T15:09:00.004-04:00

Labor Day Extravaganza!! 200% More Blog for Your Money!

#23: Sermon Podcasts!!!
Some of you only get excited on the rare Tuesday when your favorite artist releases a new album every two years, but *I* get to experience that same excitement every Monday morning when I open up my iTunes account and get the free download of sermons from my favorite churches. Here is my Must Listen List:

- Matt Chandler, The Village Church (Denton, TX)
- Perry Noble, NewSpring Church (Anderson, SC)
- Mark Driscoll, Mars Hill Church (Seattle, WA)

I also love:

- Tim Keller, Redeemer Presbyterian (New York, NY) - But you have to buy the sermons
- Greg Pinkner, Fellowship E-Free (Knoxville, TN)
- Francis Chan, Cornerstone Community Church (Simi Valley, CA)

#22: Toyota Camry

I'm on my 3rd Camry. I drove the first for 300,000 miles and sold it for $2000 while it was still running perfectly. I drove the second for 200,000 miles and sold it to my niece for $5000 while it was still running perfectly. I'm up to 70,000 miles on my current Camry. The love affair continues. If you know any of the suits at Toyota and wanna tell them to give me a free Camry next time, I'll gladly be the Jared to their Subway commercial. Bring it on.

#21: PedEgg

I longed for the PedEgg when I saw the infomercials, but I refused to buy anything off an infomercial. Eventually they appeared on an endcap at my local Walgreen's and I snatched one up for $9.99 (no shipping)!! Almost instantly my feet were restored to their original beauty... free of the daily grime from New York streets and callouses from runs at the gym. Soft as a baby's... foot. Whee!!

#24 Thing I Love

2008-08-26T01:06:00.003-04:00

#24: My mattress

After a show in Lexington, Kentucky, the venue put me up at a local hotel. The posh rooms featured a gift basket with all manner of awesomeness: an eye mask, lotions, lavender pillow spray, a night light. On the bed beside the gift basket, I noticed a small placard advertising the company that made the mattress. It was TempurPedic.

I'd never had a better night's sleep in my life. I told everyone about it. I fantasized about owning a mattress like it. Alas, they were far beyond my means. UNTIL... Overstock.com started advertising TempurPedic-esque mattress toppers. I bought the 3" topper for about $100. The mattress that it currently tops is at least 20 years old, possibly 30 (I don't know for sure, because I inherited it from my grandparents), but it is still the most comfortable bed known to man.

Thank God for memory foam.

25 Things I Love

2008-08-22T15:13:00.006-04:00

A friend of mine is doing a series of blog posts called "25 Things I Love." Since I am in a bit of a blog-drought (induced by my book writing process, which has stolen all my creative energy), I am going to use her idea as fodder for new entries. Some of these may be things you've heard me mention before... if so, then I must really love those things to want to mention them to you multiple times.

Also, they aren't in order. So if I happen to mention that I love "The Bible" in #14 and "iced coffee" in #12, please don't take that as an indication that I prefer caffeine to the Word of the Lord, mmkay? Here we go:

#25: Thomas' Sahara Whole Wheat Pita + Tribe 40 Spices Hummus

The proper way to consume these products is to run water over both sides of the pita, shake it off, then throw it in the microwave for 15-20 seconds (I'm partial to 17). Then put a scoop of the hummus, which ideally will be cold from refrigeration, beside the pita. Not inside. Not on top. Not even touching it. Pull off pieces of the pita and swipe it through the hummus. Mmmm... perfect, right?

I've tasted a vast array of pitas and they all fall short of Thomas' Sahara. Also, I like many other types of hummus, but 40 Spices bites back, and it's not nearly as bad for you as other types! Bonus!

Mid-Year's Resolutions

2008-07-23T15:01:00.004-04:00

This is the year of TLC for TLC. In other words, I've been trying to get my crap together so that I can be the best version of myself for God, others, and myself. My New Year's Resolutions were:

- Part of my day that nothing infringes on #1: Jesus.
Reading the Word, praying, listening to Him, listening to sermons (Matt Chandler, Perry Noble, Mark Driscoll, Tim Keller, and Greg Pinkner are my faves).

- Part of my day that nothing infringes on #2: Gym.
I've lost 30 pounds this year, and I'm not stopping there. Bring it.

Here are the ways that God has brought other healthy changes in my life and what I've done to work that out:

- Overhauled my schedule to where I work no more than 40 hours a week. That's a big deal for me. I used to work around 80-100.

- Tried to get 8 hours sleep at night. I spent 8 years getting 4-5 hours per night, so I'm seeing the benefits of sleep now for sure!

- Narrowed my commitments and prioritized my relationships according to the places and the people with whom I believe God wants me to spend my time. I need people who mentor me, people to mentor, and people to be on the level with -- and most of these need to be people who are in my life on a regular, frequent basis.

- Visited the doctors that I've been avoiding. It ended up being far more encouraging than I ever thought! Woo!

Most surprising thing I've learned during this time.

During this overhaul of my life, I realized that I'm more of an introvert than I ever knew. That doesn't mean that I don't love people -- I so do! It means that I re-charge when I'm alone. I need downtime. The best way that I can serve the people I meet on tour is to have lots of time alone to order my head and my heart. I've been slighting audiences for years, and it breaks my heart that I'm just now realizing this. I am so sorry to all of you who have gotten less than the best I have to offer. I'm doing what I can to fix that, but sometimes it may look like I'm not offering as much by way of time.

Here are the things I'm resolving to stick to for the rest of the year:

1. Gym. Every single day that I'm home and every possible day that I'm on the road.
2. Finish the new book by the end of September, edits and all.
3. Churn out at least 4 songs that I LOVE by the end of the year.
4. Try very hard to get at least 7 hours sleep each night. If possible, 8 hours.

Now it's out there for everyone to see. The past 7.5 months have been awesome, and I'm looking forward to the ways God will grow me and change me during the rest of 2008. Wooooo!!!

By Comparison

2008-07-20T16:54:00.004-04:00

People often comment on how NYC has the most beautiful people in the world (and yes, we do), but here's something to remember: while some people are naturally beautiful, others spend small fortunes to look that way. Not just on plastic surgery, but on laser skin resurfacing, cellulite massages, personal trainers, organic meals, toxic cleanses, hair stylists, manicures, pedicures, waxing, tanning, stylists, etc.

Hear me out on this: It doesn't mean that people who don't invest in those things are better than the people who do. OR worse than them. It just means that if you can't afford to spend the $20,000 a month that Jennifer Aniston does to maintain her beauty, then you shouldn't feel inadequate when you compare yourself to her.

One of my desires is that I will stop comparing myself to others. It's not what God intended when He created us -- it turns us into divisive, catty, selfish people. I pray that God will heal those broken parts in us and restore us into people who will encourage and lift up our sisters with words of life.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. - Phil. 2:3

Cooking Up Some Awesome

2008-07-15T01:06:00.005-04:00

Some of you may not know this, but I studied cooking at one point. I was so passionate about it then, but I haven't really gotten to do it much since I started touring. These days, even though my schedule has slowed, I live in an apartment with a kitchen that is roughly the size of my pancreas. I crave a big, open kitchen with lots of space to dance around in while I cook and bake.

In NYC, eating out is a fairly normal thing to do. Depending on where you're willing to eat, it's not much more expensive than cooking at home. There's a place in my neighborhood that will give you a free pizza (yes, a whole pizza) for every beer you buy.

That's all well and good, but I wanna sling some batter! So I'm trying to cook more. And I want to tell you about this superb new device I purchased for $4 at TJ Maxx! It has been assisting me in my attempts not to burn myself as I maneuver my body into the positions required to fit all four limbs into my kitchen simultaneously. Behold, The Grabber:

It's a step up from the OveGlove. An even bigger step up from the traditional oven mitt. This is something even a dude could use without shame. It's not frilly. And you can order it here for $7.99 if you can't find one in the stacks at TJ Maxx.

Now... off to defrost something made of meat.

Light for the Journey

2008-07-12T03:50:00.008-04:00

I'm still reflecting on the whole "angry with God" thing I mentioned a couple of posts ago, and I can't get over how profound it was for me. I tend to be such a "God is awesome!" person, all smiles when it comes to Jesus. Had I not gone through that, I would've missed out on something crucial to the development of my relationship with Him.

In that time, I saw what it was like to feel at odds with God, to lay out my questions for Him like Job did, knowing all along that He would be able to come back at me with things like, "Who commands the morning?... Who carves a channel for the lightning bolt?" (Job 38) I fought with Him, I struggled. And in that, I saw the hearts of some of my friends... people who live in that place instead of just renting a room there, like I did. Their struggles prompt a depth in me that I wouldn't have otherwise, because it shows me a different aspect of what a relationship with God can look like. It's not all sunlight on oceans... sometimes it is walking in the dark with barely enough light for your feet and you're squinting and cold and tired. (Psalm 119:105) But it is all still God, and it is all still His Love.

More than anything, I think my frustration with God helped me to understand a little more about the depth of His commitment to me. If I knew anything, it was that He would not leave me. He couldn't. If someone was going to leave, it would've been me... but not even that was possible. I am sewn into Him. Inextricably. This is commitment. Through joy and anger, ups and downs, I am my Beloved's and He is mine.

I want to go back to the thing I said earlier about light. "Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." The foot-lamp referred to provided only enough light for the next step... it didn't illuminate the whole path. That kind of light can be frustrating when I want to see the end of the journey, but ultimately, it keeps me near Him. I keep having to ask, "What now, God? Where do You want me to step now? How can I please You in this situation?" And He, in His love and mercy, keeps answering.

Blessed be the name of the Lord, my Lover, my Husband, my Lamp.

~TLC

P.S. I really want to say "I love Lamp" here... just go with it. :)

The Love Boat

2008-07-09T02:38:00.002-04:00

Last week a very dear friend surprised me with the opportunity to go on a cruise for free, and I gladly accepted! One day I was heading to the ship's gym, preparing to listen to a Mark Driscoll sermon while sweating. I put my headphones in and prayed a quick prayer, asking God to speak to me. I turned to look out the window and this is what I saw... a sunlight heart on the Atlantic Ocean. As soon as I snapped the shot, I took my phone down and it was gone. Just like that.

I took the picture with my Blackberry, but the quality is good enough that I can use it as my laptop wallpaper. Just a fun little reminder for you and for me: He loves you.

Angry with God

2008-07-08T01:11:00.005-04:00

I met Jesus when I was four years old. It is my second memory. I don’t have a clue what life is like without Him, because He has been with me for as long as I can remember. The most intimate relationship in my life is (and always will be) with Him.

But recently, I experienced a new thing in my relationship with Him: deep, true anger. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I’m not an angry person in general—I don’t yell or have emotional outbursts—and I can only recall maybe one other time when I felt resentment toward God. The worst and most dangerous thing I could imagine would be to give God the silent treatment, so I told Him my thoughts. I wrote four pages in my journal… questions, accusations, fears. I knew He wouldn’t be threatened by my words. He knows them all; they don’t surprise Him.

Even as I tore across the pages with my pen, I knew that God stood by, loving me. I knew that He understood more about my situation than I did. And I knew my anger was rooted in selfishness – the kind of thing that says, “I have a better idea than You. You aren’t listening. You owe me more than this.” My feelings proved to me that I didn’t trust God to be God… I thought I could do a better job. My anger was—at its root—sin.

It hurt me not to trust Him. It scared me to be angry with Him – not so much because I feared His wrath (Jesus bore that for me on the cross), but because I do not even know how to breathe without Him. Being upset with Him felt like a crack in the surface of the universe… I couldn’t bear the distance I was choosing to put between us. I became aware of my great need for more faith in Him. I prayed, “Lord, I believe… help my unbelief.” (Mark 9:24)

In His love, He rescued me from my own anger. As I hurled my fists at Him, He embraced me. And in case you’re in a place of being angry with God (or even doubting His existence), here are two significant things that helped me work through things:

The Shack – a controversial book with a few theological flaws, but that ultimately served to remind me of the relationship I have with God. If you have doubts (even if you’re not a Christian), this is a phenomenal read.

This sermon by Perry Noble – I will probably think about this sermon for the rest of my life. I’m not kidding. Watch it or listen to it.

I don't know if or when I'll be angry with Him again, but I'm grateful that He walked me through it. And I can even appreciate that the experience might allow me to understand what some of you are dealing with. So, tell me your story... what has it been like for you when you've been angry with God? How did you handle it? What was the result?