Ungrateful Little Bastard

Next Long Island Adoptee Meetup - Saturday, December 5th

2009-11-19T07:30:00.000-05:00

If you're on the Island, c'mon down.

Click here to check out
The Long Island Adoptees Meetup Group!

Adoption Month Blatherings

2009-11-11T13:09:00.004-05:00

Well, well, well.

Life has certainly been quite inconsiderate of the fact that this is National Adoption Awareness Month, and that I had a host of things I wished to do in celebration of all inappropriately touched by adoption.

Where do I begin?

You may remember that both Dr. Ungrateful and I have found ourselves unwilling participants in the LOLfest known as teh economy is teh suck, adding the two of us to the ever-growing pool of over educated and/or over qualified middle-aged professionals watching TV in the middle of the afternoon instead of being gainfully employed.

I'm actually still (resentfully) working at this point however that is about to come to a crashing halt soon. My original end date was October 1st, but I was able to wrangle a stay of execution to next Wednesday. If an internal job offer comes through after the umpteen million interviews (ok actually 14) I've been on over the past few months I get to live, but I'm not hopeful. We've had a massive *cough*cough* "workforce reduction" (i.e., hemorrhaging jobs to India and Brazil) so considering the fact that there's someone equally qualified on the other side of the world who is more than happy to do my job for a lot less money, I'm screwed.

Our beloved house continues to sit on the market in a sea of foreclosures and short sales; ditto for our beloved plot of land down south that we had intended to retire to one day, so there's not much belovedness to go around right now.

To add insult to injury, my adoptive mother had a heart attack late Halloween night, landing her in cardiac ICU. She's out of danger right now but given her unwillingness to follow doctor's orders, I'm expecting a repeat performance any time now.

So. Adding adoption news to digg - totally out the window. Tweeting about adoption -- totally out the window. RegDay -- totally out the window. Re-doing this old blog template that I am seriously tired of -- totally out the window. Adoption conference in NJ -- totally out the window.

How rude.

However there are little projects going on here and there behind the scenes. You know me, never happy unless I have a techie project or two or three to (mis)manage. I'm testing out a new app on Facebook later today that will either be successful beyond my wildest expectations, or a epic failure of proportions heretofore unreported in the history of all time (it's always extremes with me). There' are other little things going on too, so if you feel like giving a hand and you've got either Google Spreadsheet or MS Excel experience, drop me a line. Even better, if you can create a functional Yahoo Pipe or scrape an API, I'll be your slave for real.

I'm hoping to get back on Twitter and Digg very soon, especially since my Adoption2.0 idol, the one, the only, the fantabulistic new media maven of all things new media Claud actually called me, yes me, little old me, a "community trust agent". Flattered is an understatement. Seriously, I could die tomorrow a happy woman, my life's work completed.

That's the nicest thing anyone's ever called an old nerd like me.

Do you think they're making a new feature cartoon?

2009-10-25T17:35:00.000-04:00

VISITOR ANALYSIS
Referring Link	http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=ungrateful little bastard&aq=0&oq=ungrateful l&aqi=g3g-m2
Host Name	proxy-ce4.disney.com

Country	United States
Region	California
City	Burbank
ISP	Disney Worldwide Services Inc

If so, I demand Fran Drescher do my voice.

Adoptees with need for medical history

2009-10-23T09:24:00.000-04:00

Reposting via Ann Wilmer, please share and repost

A reporter for a national publication is interested in writing a story about the problems adoptees encounter when they have a medical need to know. If you have personal experience of this situation, contact me, please.

Ann can be contacted at wilmer@dmv.com

Nurse your hangover with OBCforME

2009-10-22T09:46:00.003-04:00

Why yes, my hangover does last 2 days, thank you very much. I have absolutely no alcohol tolerance. Anyway...

Mark your calendars!

Maine Celebrates One Year of Original Birth Certificates!

Come to Maine, celebrate with us! We have reached a milestone, our one year mark since original birth certificates were made available to adult adoptees here in Maine.

We will have lots of activities planned for this day - updates on the schedule of events will be posted soon!

Date:	Saturday, January 2, 2010
Time:	9:00am - 9:00pm
Location:	The Maine Film Studios
Street:	235 Presumpscot Street
City/Town:	Portland, ME

Facebook RSVP: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/event.php?eid=200446990464&ref=mf

Link to OBCforME: http://www.obcforme.org/

Wow

2009-10-17T22:26:00.002-04:00

Via AdultAdoptees

Check this out

The right to obtain a copy of one’s own birth certificate is routinely exercised by all citizens, unless you were adopted. Although parent-child relationships are supposed to be fundamental and constitutionally protected, children’s relationships with their parents, grandparents, siblings and other family members are routinely and permanently severed, first, by the inadvertent effect of the unrepresented birthparent(s)’ signature on surrender documents and, second, by a court’s judgment of adoption. The child has no guardian ad litem, attorney or other qualified person to represent and protect his or her interests and the adoption statute does not require it.

Due process in adoption? Hardly

The 15th Annual RegDay is November 14, 2009

2009-10-07T10:21:00.000-04:00

Please repost freely

==============================================

The 15th Annual RegDay is November 14, 2009

What is RegDay?

Adoption Registration Day (RegDay) is an annual one day event to increase public awareness of the International Soundex Reunion Registry; a free humanitarian service better known as ISRR. ISRR is a non-profit mutual consent registry established in 1975 dedicated to reuniting adult family members separated by adoption, divorce, foster care, or other dislocation.

But RegDay is so much more than that. RegDay is a day where members of the adoption triad (adoptees, adoptive parents and birthparents) set up tables in public locations and meet face to face other members of the triad and the public in general, sharing their stories and information. It’s a day to encourage those touched by adoption, and let them know they are not alone.

RegDay is a day to meet others in the triad and form a search and/or support group in your local area, or to welcome them into a group that already exists.

Remember when you first started being involved in adoption issues, wasn’t it important, or just nice, to meet in person others who had been there or were going through the same thing.

The internet is a great search and support resource, but so much of that personal contact is missing. RegDay gives us an opportunity to get that back.

RegDay is also a day to tell someone about that special adoption related book that helped you so much. It’s a day to provide resources from internet links to national organizations. It’s also a day to provide information about adoption reform that is still needed in so many states, and a way to connect with others who also see that need.

RegDay can be a social event, hanging out with members of your support group at the same time providing a valuable service, or becoming friends with other volunteers that you just met.

The friendships you build on RegDay can last a lifetime…. Volunteer Now!!

To learn more about RegDay go to http://www.regday.org. Sites are currently being secured in several states, but more are still needed.

If you can coordinate a site in your area, or would like to volunteer to help at an existing site, join the Yahoo Mailing Group for RegDay Site Coordinators and volunteers at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/regday/ or send a message at http://www.myspace.com/regday

It is easy to do RegDay!

Thank you,

Petra B. Wynbrandt (RegDay National Coordinator 2005-2009)

email: regdaynationalcoordinator@gmail.com

October is the douchiest of months

2009-10-04T10:55:00.004-04:00

So here's my nagging, begging, pleading, self indulgent birthday wish.

So serious here. If there's even one post on this blog you've ever liked, I'm begging you on this one, honestly.

The bold text below, please highlight it and copy it:

I support an adult adoptee's right to their own original birth certificate, without restrictions, conditions or limitations.

Then click this link, and paste it into the comment box, fill in the rest of the fields and send 'er on it's way to the Chairman of the Pennsylvania Task Force on Adoption Law.

That's all, I'm so damn easy to please, really.

Now if you want to personalize it a bit, I'd love that more. If you want to actually send a snail mail letter I'd be your loyal slave, truth.

If you personalize it, send a snail mail letter and just so happen to actually live in Pennsylvania's 12th District, forget it, I'm yours for life.

Really, please.

It's been a while since I've posted about the draconian, degrading and downright douchy Pennsylvania system for getting your birth certificate, so older readers please indulge me while I dredge up some ingratitude from the archives.

From 2007:

Let's take a little peek at the rules here:

Q: What happens if a biological parent files a consent form after the Division of Vital Records processes a request?

A: If consent is received at a later date, the identifying information will not be sent to the adoptee. Therefore, an adoptee may wish to request periodically to determine if a consent form has been filed.

Sounds mundane, right? It's not, it's anything but.

If you're an adoptee registering with the State.... well, that in itself is wrong. Adoptees are not allowed to register. Only natural parents. Adoptees are invited to send $10 to the state to see if their parents have registered. They'll cash your check either way.

But remember - YOU are not registering. You are paying the state a fee to have a data processing clerk with access to YOUR personal information and the personal information on your parents pull up your birth certificate record in the computer, and see if there's a field flagged saying mom or dad even knows about this non publicized registry.

Even better, this means, if Vital Records gets your form on a Tuesday, cashes your check, peeks in their computer, sends you off a Sorry! letter, and then on Wednesday gets a registration form from your mom or dad - they will NOT notify you.

Oh - by the way. Got a relationship with your family of origin? Want them to fill out a mommy-may-I permission slip for you? Rotsa ruck. Check out the line in bold italics below from this page.

Q: How can a biological parent register identifying information?

A: A biological parent whose child was born in Pennsylvania may file a Biological Parent Registration Identification Form with the Department of Health. Please click here to download the form. Forms may also be requested by calling the Division of Vital Records at 1-877-PA-HEALTH

Try clicking that 'click here' link, sports fans.

Yeah, they know that link is broken. It's been on their to-do list to fix it. Since 2006, I think.

So do an old Pennsylvania Orphan a favor and send that note. And if you're on Facebook and have a Pennsylvania connection, a hard-working Facebook and Twitter friend pulled an all-nighter creating a little page for people with PA on their mind. She's a bi-local like me, birth certificate tied up in one state and working for change in another. So show her some support and join up on her page. That would make me happy too.

Pennsylvania Adoptee Rights on Facebook

Required Reading: “Sorry, Mrs. Smith” — Looking Beyond The Story

2009-10-03T20:49:00.000-04:00

Seriously, go here now.

“Sorry, Mrs. Smith” — Looking Beyond The Story

Sad addendum to Linda Joy's story

2009-10-03T15:01:00.000-04:00

Commenter Ex-in-the-City noted on the previous post that unfortunately Linda Joy died of leukemia shortly after her second birthday.

Life reported on this in their their April 23, 1951 issue.

8 months later Life reported 'Boy takes Linda Joy's place'

I have no words.

Where's Linda Joy today?

2009-10-01T15:22:00.001-04:00

Everyone who has read Anne Fessler's "The Girls Who Went Away" will remember the description of Life Magazine's 1951 cover story on the joys of adoption

Now that Google Books has indexed Life's archives, you can read it online.

Pretty bizarro.

I wonder what Linda Joy thinks about this now?

I wonder if Paul ever searched

2009-09-26T11:15:00.001-04:00

Via

And then, I wonder if he found.

I wonder if he had any friends to support him. I wonder if they said things that hurt or if they helped.

Or I wonder if he didn't tell anyone what he found, if he kept it hidden as protection from what people would say to him.

People say stupid shit to us. What Paul would have found could have opened up a whole sewage processing plant of stupid. Seriously, other than, "Are you alright?", what could you say?

I wonder if he regretted searching.

I don't think I would have regretted. No matter what, the knowing outweighs everything. But then again, I wouldn't know, would I?

I wonder if he knows she's gone.

I wonder if he's OK.

You can't make this stuff up

2009-09-24T11:23:00.000-04:00

Really, now.

Glad to know there's one site on the web where you can get all your human and animal adoption needs covered

Digging Adoption

2009-09-23T13:45:00.003-04:00

This is a reworking of a note I wrote over at Facebook. After I posted it I thought, oh what the hell, I'll add it to ULB too.

A Note About My Notes

The adoption news stories you see on my profile come from an automatic RSS feed from http://adoptionnewsfeed.blogspot.com, which itself is generated from adoption news stories submitted to digg.com. (And thank you Claud for teaching me how to connect all this)

If you're not familiar with digg, what an incredible site it is, and the importance of having a story go popular, you may want to read here before going any further. The info is a little dated, but it still gives a really good overview.

http://www.pronetadvertising.com/articles/beginners-guide-to-digg.html

Since 2007, I've submitted over 1,500 news articles to digg dealing with adoption, corruption, reunion, legislation, reproductive technologies, identity rights, and highlighting the fact that there are hundreds of thousands of kids in foster care that age out each year with few if any resources, all while Americans spend billions of dollars each year adopting newborns and supposed orphans from overseas.

This is what the average American untouched by adoption believes:

There are countless newborns available for adoption in America. There are tons of women who want nothing to do with their babies and who will gladly turn them over for adoption. Overseas countries are full of Dickensian squalid orphanages packed to the rafters with wailing abandoned newborns. Searching adoptees are creepy stalkers who pound on the doors of their cowering birthmothers, and any mother who lost a child to adoption was most likely a drug addict, an abuser, a slut or a combination thereof. Oh, and my best friend's cousin's hairdresser was adopted and is perfectly happy with it.

When I started, I was lucky if any of the news stories got one or two votes (aka diggs). Many of the comments on some of the articles reflected those views in the paragraph above. There were even comments along the lines of it's not that bad if an infant is kidnapped from a poor country and adopted by rich Americans, because of that better life mythology.

Recently, I've been incredibly lucky with a few popular stories (stories that got 100+ votes), and in addition I am beyond blessed to have a few digg friends I adore -- with no connection to adoption whatsoever -- who regularly digg my submissions.

I believe that to have any effective change, there needs to be education and awareness spread to those outside our adoption circles. I've seen a noticeably shift in the collective thinking of comments as well. While there will always be trolls who post easily ignorable comments, many of the comments on the news stories are thoughtful, contemplative and show a positive shift in basic assumptions and misconceptions regarding adoption.

Because digg remains such a vital site to get the best of the news, having these stories out there reaches people far outside our circles.

So when you see a story and you think it's important, please consider giving it a digg. You can connect digg with your Facebook account to make it easier for you. There's a brief instruction guide on how to do this here

http://mashable.com/2009/05/06/digg-facebook-connect/

Thanks for taking the time to read this. If you're submitting newspaper articles to digg, please be sure I know your digg username so I can add your submissions to my reader and digg/blog you too.

And if you're a non-adoptee digg friend, I appreciate you more than you'll ever know. I don't know which one of you is making these recent stories go popular, but I love you for it. Thank you.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go digg my friend's submissions. My day is empty and without meaning if I haven't dugg at least one amazingly bad fail or an image of a prospective adoptive father of the future.

Gary Nisbet and Randy Joubert on the TODAY show this Morning

2009-09-22T12:12:00.002-04:00

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Update -

Oh it gets even better - check this out

Long-lost brothers find another sister
Sibling of reunited Maine family sees them on TODAY, TV reunion planned

Link for you diggers: http://digg.com/d315FRX

And for you Twitter-addicts, she's live-tweeting it now --> http://twitter.com/mskat

Thar's gold in them thar ovaries!

2009-09-21T17:50:00.000-04:00

Strip-mining pregnant women for fresh-off-the-placenta babies has never been more profitable!

This is one recession-proof industry here folks!

Many thanks go to Niels at PPL. Go check out the comfy living bartering in bastards has made for a select few in adoption:

Executive compensations at adoption agencies

Third Annual Demons of Adoption Awards

2009-09-17T23:20:00.001-04:00

Update: Press Release via PRLog is available here:
http://www.prlog.org/10347087-pound-pup-legacy-nominates-demons-in-adoption.html

*************************************************************
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
*************************************************************

Each year Pound Pup Legacy presents the Demons of Adoption Award to raise a voice against adoption propaganda and the self congratulatory practices of the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute's annual Angels in Adoption AwardsTM

Until October 30 you will have the opportunity to vote for the recipient of this year's award.

The nominees are:

Adoptions First for offering of a free birth mothers package;
Athanasios Kollias aka Teo for the involvement in various Guatemalan child trafficking cases;
Barnardos for promoting the removal of children and have them adopted as the solution to family breakdown;
Bethany Christian Services for using coercive tactics obtaining infants for their customers;
Deborra Lee-Furness for pushing laxer regulations in inter-country adoption;
Harry and Bertha Holt for starting the placement of "special needs children" who are truly not adoptable, into the homes of already huge families;
Independent Adoption Center for plugging their business on WE tv's Adoption Diaries, making them the non-denominational Bethany;
Joint Council on International Children's Services for supporting temporary movement of foreign children to America because such trial-basis "exchange" programs "help" the adoption process;
LDS Family Services for using coercive tactics in obtaining infants for adoption and for not respecting paternal rights;
Scott and Karen Banks for child trafficking, coercive adoption practices and the abandonment of their adopted children;
The Dutch Ministry of Justice for preventing research into corrupt adoption practices in China, because of diplomatic and business relations with that country;
The Malawi Government for allowing Madonna to adopt Mercy James;

You can cast your vote by following this link.[http://poundpuplegacy.org/node/37652

Bring Peri Home

2009-09-15T06:14:00.000-04:00

Via Joy

Carla Moquin's website and blog.

It's a long read, but please take some time to visit.

Fear and Loathing in Tennessee

2009-09-13T18:22:00.000-04:00

Check this out - My Identity Was A Government Secret

Identifying information at time of adoption?

2009-08-31T15:15:00.004-04:00

Was identifying information on your original name or the name of your first parents made available to your adoptive parents, or made available to you by a third party such as the lawyer who handled your adoption? This happened occasionally in private adoptions.

If so, please consider notifying Pam Hasegawa, who is attempting to collect numbers on how often this happened.

Editing to add: Also, if you are an adoptive parent in a closed adoption who received identifying information, please consider participating as well.

Please provide to her:

Date of birth:
Date of adoption (if known):

State where adoption took place:

Any details you'd like to add:

Email to: pamhasegawa@gmail.com

Thanks!

One of the most perplexing google searches I've seen yet that brought someone to this blog

2009-08-30T00:02:00.003-04:00

you ungrateful bastard i gave birth to your mother and your father

Ponder that one for a moment.

From an SEO standpoint however, I'm happy to report that in google keyword ranking of the phrase you ungrateful bastard i gave birth to your mother and your father, ULB is #1.

An algorithmic accomplishment, truly.

Shotgun Adoption

2009-08-27T20:58:00.001-04:00

Crossposting from the Adoption News Blog, because it's that important. Give a digg, please? And share? Thanks.

thenation.com — Christian agencies lavish support services on pregnant women--if they give up their babies.

read more

Trailer for 'Roots: Unknown' up on YouTube

2009-08-23T17:07:00.003-04:00

Please rate, add to favorites and leave a comment - thanks!

ROOTS: UNKNOWN is an Award-winning 30 Min. documentary on the lifelong impact of Adoption. Directed and Produced by author, singer/songwriter Zara Phillips (www.zarahphillips.com) this film focuses on the Adult Adoptee. Interviews include Adoptees, their spouses and children and features soundtrack written and performed by Zara. Copies of this DVD are available for purchase, please contact Zara at her web site, www.zarahphillips.com

Please help 'A Search for Survivors'

2009-08-22T08:46:00.006-04:00

Yet again, A Search for Survivors has been threatened with suspension.

After a period of silence, two more posts appeared today, along with a call for help. Please take a moment to look over the site, and if you believe voices like this should not be silenced, take a moment to write.

Having started my career in customer support, I know from experience email-based support is often extremely overwhelmed. Just one or two lines, or just a brief paragraph should be enough.

Please send an email to tosreports@wordpress.com

Put this in the subject line:
[WordPress #352210]: 493@childtorture.wordpress.com

Thank you.

Update 08/29/09 - The site is now permanently hosted at Project DoD. For details and the new link, please visit below and update any bookmarks or reader feeds:

http://stopchildtorture.org/

Philadelphia Adoptee Rights Demonstration video

2009-08-16T08:08:00.002-04:00

Via Scott Hancock:

Direct link to video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKL196_coqY

PS Please remember that video adds 50 pounds. Horrible, isn't it? It's true, it's a proven fact. I swear. That 'video adds 10 pounds' lie you hear all the time, that's bullshit. It's 50 pounds. End of story; scout's honor. It also adds 20 years. And changes your hair color. Any images you see of me in this film, just know I'm actually 50 pounds lighter. And 20 years younger. Oh, and I'm a blond and have a kick-ass tan. Honest. Would I lie to you?