thirstythong

Refugeeing

2008-05-08T17:27:00.002+07:00

Blogspot has become too difficult to use - for my world-renowned university educated mind. We've had good times, blogspot. A toast.

Now, the flight over to

thirstythongs.wordpress.com

Do note the plurality of "thirstythongs" and not "thirstythong."

Love in the Time of Durex

2007-12-16T14:06:00.000+07:00

While I'm away on holiday, time to play another game of guess what this map data represents.

Surely, it's because the Reykjavikians got nothing better to do (what with the cold and all), the Fins just know how to relax, and Brazilians are just pretty 'effin hawt (second to Vietnamese...and Thais, but of course) but what of the others? We already know that Married With Children and MySpace are largely responsible for the trends in the US (bless you Bundy), but what about in VN? The averaging out of cupcaking ages between village and city lovers? Good ole' Confucius? All you wannabe dissertators, what's the word on the internets?

ESL Activities that work surprisingly well

2007-12-08T02:01:00.000+07:00

Blue-tac: the next best thing next to the nude woman

After a year of teaching the English language to Vietnamese students of all ages (seriously), I've experimented with many different activities (whiting-out "SexyBack" lyrics, "how much wood can a woodchuck chuck?"), in search of the most effective methodology. Amateur English language teachers fall into the trap of talking too much - using their TTT (Teacher Talk Time) ineffectively, treating the classroom as an auditorium. I subscribe to a 60/40 principle: students do more of the talking.

Here are three of my favorite activities / games that gets students to become active and/or interact with one another, without you having to say much at all.

Backs to the Board

Suitable age group: 11 and up

Objective: To get students to identify particular vocabulary using contextual keywords and phrases.

Duration: 20-25 minutes

Methodology: Prepare a list of vocabulary according to the particular target language / vocabulary of the unit you are teaching in a given class. For example, if the current unit is "technology and computers," a potential list of vocabulary could be: "laptop, iPod, Wi-Fi, memory, program, e-mail, etc." Then, split, the class into two teams and have them send one team member to the front of the class. They will respectively be the standing team members who must turn their backs to the board. Write one of the vocabulary words on the board. Inform the sitting team members - who are able to see the board - may not say the particular vocabulary, but rather, use contextual keywords and phrases as clues to the particular vocabulary. The goal is to get the standing team member to say the particular vocabulary, ideally shouting it out. The first standing team member to identify the target vocabulary correctly earns their team a point.

A typical scene: I write "iPod" on the board. The sitting students verbally scramble, shouting key incomplete phrases and keywords to clue their standing team member on what the word is: "Apple...you can listen to music...it's small...Steve Jobs..." The standing student might say: "MP3...radio..." and then "iPod" with the sitting students shouting in triumph.

P.S. I like to use this activity as a review of many units to keep it spicy. Try not to use vocabulary which they can easily gesture to on the spot, for example: watches, desks, hands, etc. as they will almost always physically express the vocabulary rather than verbally deconstruct it.

Running Dictation

Suitable age group: 8 and up

Objective: To get students reading, speaking, listening, writing (and exercising), all within one activity and to practice any target language / vocabulary.

Duration: 15-25 minutes

Methodology: Take any written text (a series of alphabet letters, a sentence, a passage from a textbook, a paragraph from a short story, lyrics to a song) and stick it on a wall, place it on the chair - put it somewhere out of the students reach, at least five footsteps away. Get the students to form partnerships. Inform students that each partnership will have one writer and one runner. The runner will dictate the selected written documents to their partner by sauntering up to the written document, memorizing a portion of it, and running that memorized portion back to dictate to their writing partner. Also warn students that they may not stand next to the written document and shout it out to their partner.

A typical scene: A runner goes to the written document, reads it, and runs it back to their partner to dictate it. After doing such for five minutes, they get tired and propose to switch roles with their writing partner - let it happen (!) as long as it keeps them engaged and practicing their English.

P.S. Putting the written document outside the classroom door is my preference. I also like to use "blue-tac" to stick it on the wall, as its re-usable. I prefer using lyrics to a song, so after they are finished (and exhausted from) dictating the entire document, I can play the actual song and the class can unwind - maybe even extend the activity by having them underline certain portions I play specifically.

Hangman (Don't Die Minh!)

Suitable age group: 6 and up

Objective: To get students to identify target vocabulary.

Methodology: Prepare a list of vocabulary according to the particular target language / vocabulary of the unit you are teaching in a given class. Divide the class into two teams. Draw a scaffold on the board and to the right of that, draw the appropriate amount of letter spaces given a certain word you think of (ex. "blue" yields _ _ _ _ ). Write the subject or particular unit you are studying above both. Explain that students have six chances to guess the correct letters to complete the word. For each letter they guess incorrectly, that incorrect letter is written to the left of it and a body part is drawn (preferable order: head, stick body, stick left arm, stick right arm, stick left leg, stick right leg...you can always add more heh heh). A point is rewarded to the team who identifies the target vocabulary word without getting their "man" hung at the scaffold.

A typical scene: Students will shout out random letters. As a word begins to reveal itself, some students will simply shout the word since they now know what it probably is - ignore them and force them to keep guessing the correct words. This prevents the game from going by too fast and forces them to spell it and pronounce letters completely.

P.S. Being that many students will know how to play "Hangman" once you draw the scaffold, I like to play "Don't Die, Minh!" Instead of drawing a scaffold, draw a cliff. On this cliff, draw four ticks and a fifth tick being an arrow downwards into the ocean (preferably with a shark or what looks like the Lochness Monster). Identify a student in the class, preferably a kid who is shy and/or needs a boost in confidence. Above this cliff, write "Don't Die, [insert student's name]!" Draw a little stick version of that student on a "zero" tick. With every letter guessed incorrectly, erase that student and move them to the proceeding tick and write the incorrect letter under the aforementioned proceeding tick accordingly. If a team happens to lose in identifying the word, draw the student getting eaten by the shark/Lochness monster, and then choose a new student in the class to "not die" - students eat it up!

A thousand words regarding traffic in Hanoi

2007-11-28T03:17:00.000+07:00

The Vietnamese Siesta (and other secrets of life in Hanoi)

2007-11-21T12:46:00.000+07:00

The Vietnamese Siesta
...or what I would like to coin: the Viesta.

Even when it ain't Thanksgiving, I still find all the blood rushing to my stomach after almost every meal since I usually eat like a Mongolian emperor with 50 kingdoms - or 2 Google shares.

For adults, the Viesta times in Hà Nội run between 12:00 to 13:30 as I find most people getting back to work around 14:00. During one of my classes, I found out some of my students may get as little as 5 hours of sleep in a night, with the justification that they take a duper long afternoon nap.

Caffeinin'
If it's the one thing you must respect hippies for nowadays, other than nude beaches and Anti-War activism, it's the consumer demands of Whole Foods / Trader Joes shoppers. If it wasn't for them snazzy, hand-drawn Trader Joes art, I would have never tried shit like making my own hummus. But now, thanks to nudity, I was able to indulge in the delight that is Yerba Mate.

However, unfortunately, obviously, I'm not back home in the bay, so I've been forced to find alternative sources of caffeine, which isn't that hard, thankfully.

My three main sources as of late:

Nâu đá / nóng (cà phê sữa đá / nóng) aka Việtnamese Drip Iced / Hot Coffee
Sữa chua cà phê aka Yogurt topped off with coffee
Trà xanh aka Green Tea

(Not like you can't find these in the states, since the states has, you know, everything.)

Sipping slow is key, unless you want to get your James Dean on. The world is your oyster.

Since it works for some people, I've been trying to hybrid it up, a lil' nâu đá with a 15-minute Viesta, to no avail as of yet. What a pity!

Therapeutic Sauna

Thanks to Vinh for being an avid reader of Wikipedia and the Fins for creating one of the best things evar, next to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I've found that following the Rule of Three when it comes to hopping back and forth between a duper hot dry sauna and a cold water immersion pool works best.

To paraphrase Geoff: Truth is who you think of when you ~~cum~~ therapeutic sauna.

A Walk Around A Hồ

I would try to do this around Lake Merritt, but I don't want to get slapped or shot. When people ask me why I digg Hà Nội over HCMC, my first reason is, urrrm, the vomen, my second are the Hồs. What's grand is hồs in Hà Nội are usually surrounded by cafes so you can hop in for a quick caffeine shot right after putting in those 30-minutes a day. You can even get free show as hồs are the place for cupcakin' couples.

Kinh!

Oh, Cal Band!

2007-11-16T13:39:00.000+07:00

In case you haven't heard, that vig Bilo beat me in a game of Craps, so I guess I am back - less like Nas - more like Mos Def ala True Magic.

Ladies and gents, my three loves: video games, Berkeley, and the Cal Band.

(Credit: Poplicks)

Bilo Back

2007-11-15T06:50:00.001+07:00

Hi. I Bilo.

It been quiet long time, I should not leave you, without strong post to stepping to.

Stepping to, step, stepping, stepping oh yeah yeah oh.

Just the another day, I play Vinh, Thông in game of Crap and we drink like someone who Korean someone who Fanxipan. And I say, and I say: Thông, if I get seventy, you and me must quit being viggas and come out blogtirement.

You guess? I got seventy! Cheer for me.

Because you knowing, let me share my thinkings for one moment because as of lately, I listening to a lot hip-hop. I listen Kanyeezy. I listen Hanson. Here is my anal: blog is like game is like hip-hop is like game. And it not the same when Thông and me decide to blogtirement.

I tell that vigga, you are Nas, who is poor and short what a pity. I am Bilo who is Jay-Z who is tall and muscular. Preya is Beyonce of Bilo.

All these another blogs are the Ja Rule or Britney Spears. They must try to come on back but surely Bilo come on your back.

So Thông back. Bilo back. It's celebrate bitch!

To celebrate time, I make a song. This called: "Bilo Boys"

And the winner Bilo, I am man
Speak!
First all, I want to thank Connecticut
Want to thank my mom and dad for have sex
Thank you to motorbike the Petrolimex
The osin girly boy for clean the house
Boy girls who buy my iPhones in đồng
The first girl who letting me put in

The Bilo Boys in building tối nay
Oh what feeling I feel like cry
You do not bring your boyfriend here
We the Bilo Boys here, drinks on your spouse

Thank you.

Happy One Year Anniversary Việt Nam

2007-10-02T11:03:00.000+07:00

Cheers Ben. Uhhh, yes hetero.

Odessa Chen

2007-09-01T06:52:00.000+07:00

What better way to start off your first Wednesday morning in the Bay Area than to have pastries at Boulange De Cole Valley with good ole Odessa Chen. If you're in the Bay Area vicinity, saunter over to this renaissance woman's show.

You are invited to The Ballad of Paper Ships CD Release
...
Saturday, September 8th, 2007
at the First Unitarian Universalist Church in the Chapel
1187 Franklin Street at Geary SF, CA 94109 415.776.4580
7:30-9:30 pm $6
*Starts promptly since we only have the space for 2 hours.

Danny Grody of Tarentel and the Drift (both on the Temporary Residence label) performing solo guitar as "Furniture", opens the show with a short set.

This will be followed by an hour long set by Odessa, Rich Douthit on drums, and Devin Hoff on stand-up bass.

Beer and Wine are permitted, but it's bring your own.
No smoking. Small snacks will be provided.
...
This CD release celebrates Odessa Chen's first record in 4 years,
The Ballad of Paper Ships, with an evening of intimate music in an
unusual and beautiful space. The sky-high ceilings, stained glass
windows, and natural reverb of the First Unitarian Universalist
church's Chapel mirror the intimate nature of the music.

Things Thông Done Been Looking Forward To

2007-08-23T11:35:00.000+07:00

The other thing, other than fine art: After eleven or so months of being here, I am going home, to the bay area, for a bit.

The feeling: Not too bad, nothing serious.

The joke in the house now: "[Jimmy] đi du lịch Mỹ."

The best part: All night BART service Labor Day weekend!

The essentials: The friends, the books, well, all the aforementioned.

The punchline: I'll be back. Knock on wood.

See you in a million or so seconds, minxes.

An engineer, a DJ, a teacher and a farmer

2007-08-16T09:49:00.000+07:00

Vietnamese Children Wishes

2007-08-13T09:39:00.000+07:00

In one of my 6-11 year old intermediate English classes, we had to conduct one of those dreaded Cambridge lessons (where some of the vocabulary can be real difficult to teach). This lesson was real fun because I got to teach "wish." And as we all know, kids say the best things:

I wish I have lot toyes.

I wish to go england, I wish to go London, I wish to go park. I wish to go U.S.A., I wish to go washington, I wish to go New york city. I wish to go autraylia, I wish to go sydney, I wish to go perth

I wish for my baby sister is very nice /
I wish for a very nice family
I wish for good friend
I wish for my baby sister is tall

I wish for a new and beautiful teddy bear
I wish for to go to America, England and Singapore with my family
I wish for meet Pop Stars.

I wish, I'm a soccer player
I wish, I had a lot of friend
I wish, I had a lot of video games
I wish, I'm very clever
I wish, I can go to the past
I wish, I'm never die
I wish, I'm had a clock

I wish for to the England
I wish for study math Everyday
I wish for look a big clock a big ben with my friends

I wish for lot of money
I wish for the best artist
I wish for the spaceman and go to the moon

I wish that my mom would never scorn me.
I wish for Doraemon.
No

I wish I has 999999999999999999999999999 super gun
I wish I has 9999999999999999999999999999 policeman
I wish I has 10000 games boy and X-box
I wish I has 10000 town in Mỹ Nga Trung Quốc,

I wish to go to Manchester City, England
I wish to the "Championship Manager" games
I wish a lot of money (1,000,000,0 $71)
I wish a nice, big house

I wish for a big plane
I wish for to fly in sky
I wish for to go to the hell

A Tribute to the Joylympics

2007-07-24T15:02:00.000+07:00

Lieutenant Laugh signing in.

In the summer of 2006, before leaving San Francisco, the Fun Time Coalition aka FTC decided to put together the first annual Joylympics, in Golden Gate Park.

Some events included mini-soccer (instead of kicking it in the goal, you have to knock down a beer bottle), bat-to-head dizzy race up the hill, the bean bag toss (into a homemade clown receptacle) and the old-school favorites:

Three-legged race

Tug O' War

That's Ben, looking like the Việtnamese Willie Nelson.

There were more competitions but honestly, I was pretty crunk most of the time. The other competition I do remember is the dance-off, of which, yours truly tied with none other than E, who had some smooth moves that Sunday afternoon, but leave it up to me to throw a beer bottle up in the air, only to pull off a 360 twirl and catch.

Contrary to popular belief, most of my magical moments in life were drunk, don't ask me why.

Much love to V and E for being the main organizers, who also coincidentally took honors. Onward Joylympians. Best of luck this year in the second annual.

Nintendo Wii in Việt Nam

2007-07-20T15:55:00.000+07:00

I wanted bragging rights about owning the first Nintendo Wii in Hà Nội but that beezy VA to VN beat me to it. Regardless, despite Vinh's pessimism regarding the Wii's "gimmick-y" future, I still went ahead and copped one.

Playing the Nintendo Wii is like seeing a woman naked for the first time.

Absopositivuletely worth the $90 mark-up ($340) from the MSRP ($250) back in the states because let's just say it all evens out in the end.

Surprisingly, there are a couple of joints in Hà Nội that have it in stock, like the store I copped mine at, which seems to have a couple in storage.

Unfortunately, something happened last week.

So I was hosting Long, his girl and his family and wanting to cheer up Long, I convinced them to skip bar-hopping so they could come directly to my home and play with my Wii.

I love it when people play with my Wii.

So on the last night they were here, we were drinking and everyone was playing with my Wii as usual and I got to thinking: this is what life is all about.

However, after they left, I realized something horrendous: I couldn't turn on my own Wii anymore. I kept pressing buttons, making sure it was clean, making sure there were no bugs on it, and there was the problem: my Wii was plugged into the wrong socket. I was flabbergasted.

Long's cousin, also a proud Nintendo Wii owner, had plugged my Wii into the wrong socket. Me, being childish and all, got me to reevaluating: why did I trust him with my Wii? I should've gotten to know him better before I let him play with it. I was drunk. Doesn't he know that in Việt Nam, you need to plug your Wii into the right sockets? He was just trying to help. Shouldn't he have known better since he has a Wii too? Oooo, I wanted to call him a vigga so bad. Maybe I should go turn off his Wii so he can feel what I feel.

But luckily, I've matured. I didn't Skype him. I didn't send him digital photos of my wrecked Wii. I decided to take it like a man.

The store I bought it from, unexpectedly provided me with 3 months insurance. He figured it was an adapter issue, and two days later, he opened it up and found out the circuitry in the adapter had exploded. Long's cousin didn't use protection (I was drunk!) - the transformer that converts the 220V of Việt Nam to the 100V of Japan (my Wii being from Japan and all). Thankfully, the new adapters came in from China, which can handle 100-240V, and it only costs $14. Bless you big labor force.

All is good in the world again.

So, let this be a lesson to everyone. When in Việt Nam, don't let people play with your Wii without getting to know them first, when you do, make sure they have your consent and most importantly, always use protection.

Baby, let's make another one of you.

My Unofficial Second Job

2007-07-09T11:20:00.000+07:00

Other than making sure businesspeople learn the latest idioms and little tykes don't defecate on hand-me-down shirts from my bà nội, I have another unofficial job: being your friendly neighborhood Việt Kiều Hanoian and all.

Introducing them to Hà Nội.

Because you really don't have to sell, say, San Francisco or New York or my bedroom (wink), you need at least a dinner and a couple of dranky-dranks to address all the preconceived notions of Hà Nội, like, yes, Hà Nội has that - no, Hà Nội doesn't have that anymore - interestingly enough, Hà Nội surprisingly has that, etc.

It's an ex-pat's duty even.

The great thing about the gig is you befriend folks from all walks of life.

Lately, I've been befriending all kinds of Việt Kiềus, from all kinds of time zones, that inspires in me - those feelings of "we are the ones we've always needed" - or whatever Maya Angelou would say on the soapbox. And I musn't forget them three Chinese Americans and a hip gal from Oregon (Hi Teresa!)

"People in your life are seasons." Here, people in your life here are weeks. A couple of weeks ago, it was Diana Tranchez week. Last night was Long night. Tomorrow is the start of Hoa/Vince/Belinda/Huy from Huế week. Then, in a couple of weeks, it's DJ Phatrick/Steph/Jane/Hugo time! Huzzah!

I'm currently taking reservations for the fall with Thông. Double huzzah...

Considerations for allergies, dietary preferences and preferred cocktails all in tow.

The other great thing is the free drinks - free head on a Sunday afternoon would be nice (I'm reciprocal, but of course), but what are you gonna do?

For Vinh and Hai, maybe Bruce and Luca Pt. 2

2007-07-06T19:34:00.000+07:00

"To think I did all that,
And may I say, not in a shy way -
Oh no. Oh no, not me.
I did it my way."
-Frank Sinatra

Bilo Việtnamese Women Contest 2007

2007-06-22T17:52:00.000+07:00

Hi. I Bilo.

If you have the opportunities, who you choose? If is me, I choose the tall girl rightside. She look like she can biting. Or perhaptual, the girl that wear yellow can do my tax. Here is this more information.

Thank you.

Hà Nội, Việt Nam is the place to be

2007-06-18T15:18:00.000+07:00

I'm a pretty good photographer for not even trying.

What's the greatest thing about this Mercer Top 50 cities with the highest cost of living? Hà Nội isn't on it minxes!

Mercer's annual Cost of Living Survey covers 143 cities across six continents and measures the comparative cost of over 200 items in each location, including housing, transport, food, clothing, household goods and entertainment. It is the world’s most comprehensive cost of living survey and is used to help multinational companies and governments determine compensation allowances for their expatriate employees.

Average rent in Hà Nội: $250 a month
Gas in Hà Nội: $2 for 4 days of my routine
A bowl of phở and tea in Hà Nội: $2
Drunken lap dance from Bilo: priceless

Unfortunately, Hà Nội isn't on Mercer's Top 50 cities highest quality of living.

Scores are based on the quality and availability of hospital and medical supplies and levels of air pollution and infectious diseases. The efficiency of waste removal and sewage systems, water potability and the presence of harmful animals and insects are also taken into account.

So air quality isn't too great because of the humidity and the smog emitted from various motorized vehicles and me raising my arms every so often. So a Việtnamese man died from the bird flu, not too far away from Hà Nội. So every so often, you'll see a roach or rat scuttle by as you're drinking bia hơi. I give extra points to Hà Nội for having an eye hospital - who knew?

Bilo Bốn Một Một

2007-06-17T23:11:00.000+07:00

Hi. I Bilo.

It has been so long time. I know I should give you a rhyme to step forward to. Step forward, yes, you knowing. Any all, I have been so busy at Petrolimex pump dầu cho dân tộc and I calculating it is time, actually, it is just my now I have time since Scandiscoliosis girlfriend leave me for rich man from Dubai to leave me so I can alone with literature. I like reading the books but almost as lot as pussy. Any all, I would like to sharing with dân tộc my knowledge, you knowing. It is quite suitable, yes? A many people know idiots but Bilo know idioms and I would like sharing for you why not? Here go:

Ăn gi, bổ đó.

It meaning, if you eat tiger chim, you will have tiger chim power rarrrr, cautious the female specisemen. If you eat óc, sẽ bị thông như Thông đây (ít khi thôi mà). Ừ! Nếu ăn lồn, thì cuộc sống mày ngon mà.

Thank you.

For Vinh and Hai, maybe Bruce and Luca

2007-06-11T14:59:00.000+07:00

"I want a Rover, but I'm thinking long range
I ain't switch over, I just made my own lane"
- Common

"Việtnamese Style, dawg"

2007-06-11T10:10:00.000+07:00

VP Gang Bangin | ?

This song, found way back in my Napster (remember that?) years of college, still manages to ignite my desire to become a wrestler, just so I can use this as my theme song.

If anyone has leads as to who the rappers are in the song, do let me know, as I'm sure, there is a whole album of goodness, for the world to behold.

I hope that Jewish guy in the back didn't get caught up in the game. He coulda been a ~~Hollywood Executive~~ rabbi. Oh, the youth.

My Favorite Pastime

2007-06-04T17:45:00.000+07:00

I made the greatest deal last night: no, it wasn't sign my soul away to the devil for an extra foot of height, although, if I did, I would be able to start dating you know who. Lucifer, I'll bring the wine.

Last night, I promised a friend I would make her a mix cd of my favorite music, if she made me a cd of her favorite Việtnamese folk music. I asked her to specify what kind of music she wanted from me - of course she said "romantic."

So here it is, the "...At What Velocity?" as compiled by yours truly, replete with personally written liner notes, with "Sni Bong" by Dengue Fever and "Sincere" by Harada Tomoyo available to download for 7 days. All the other tracks can be easily found. Terry, I know I have you salivating.

Be on the lookout as I will post up what my friend gives me as well.

The intoxicated stumble upwards the staircase?
The saunter that comes with a glass of wine in hand?
The gravity of a kiss meant to happen 3 years ago?
...At What Velocity?

Young Folks (feat. Victoria Be) - Peter Bjorn and John
She would be riding behind me, her arms wrapped around my waist. I would make a joke about my emerging love handles. She would give them a squeeze. I would try to kiss her, turning my head awkwardly while keeping an eye on the road, she would kiss me away, on the cheek. Did I mention, the sun would be going down during this ride? Oh yeah.

Sni Bong - Dengue Fever
Believe it or not, Khmer reminds me most of San Francisco nights, spent with friends pre-partying before Dengue Fever concerts. I got to catch a total of three in the past year and a half that I lived in San Francisco. Of course, the first and last were the most memorable because we elbowed our way to the front and once my friends and I get to the front (meaning to brag), we ignite the whole crowd into a dancing frenzy. Dengue Fever recognized this and even brought us onstage for that third and final concert at the Independent - me with drank in hand but of course. If I could, I would put a lot of their tracks on this CD but this reminds me most of those concerts: the jumping, the jiving, the muted ad-libbing of Khmer phonemes we absolutely did not know. Besides, we can all agree romance requires momentum, we just never specify at what velocity.

Tell Me - Groove Theory
Nowadays, I have a crush on Rosario Dawson but back in them 1990 heydays, I had a thang for Amel Larrieux, and this one girl who spoke French in my high school chemistry class. Plus, I love the bounce and vibe of this song, and I would personally regard this as the embodiment of the coffee and cigarettes, New York loft life.

I Left My Heart In San Francisco - Tony Bennett
California should be a nation in itself and San Francisco, the unofficial capitol. Of course I miss it. Tony Bennett makes me want a slow-dance, with the love of my life, or at least with my love at that moment, on the secret beach at the end of Pier 39, toes dug in the sand, lost like tourists in our own bodies. Did I mention, the sun would be going down...

Kiss Me - Sixpence None The Richer
[Bonus: Kiss Me (Japanese Version) - Unknown (cover of Sixpence None The Richer) - Thanks Ching]
Given life's obsession with intercourse, I tend to forget the sacred act of a kiss and how my most lucid memories are of kisses. Let's be honest, you will know when you're going to fuck, but the proximity of a kiss is the hardest thing to estimate. But in the three seconds of anticipation, before the lips meet, there is nothing but purity and innocence - the kind that melts you.

The Great Gig In The Sky - Pink Floyd
The sound of great sex, or the angst of a war generation - I prefer the former.

Sincere - Harada Tomoyo
This song reminds me of body language: I may not know what she is talking about, but I know what she means. It's all in the tempo. It also reminds me of high school nights, spent at home with me mums and watching Japanese soaps, while all the 40-drinking jocks were fucking the cheerleaders, while the Monty Python thespians were fucking the emerging Ayn Rand feminists doing coke, innocent 'ole me wondering when I would meet my first love. Those were the days.

When Can I See You Again - Babyface
This was the second CD I owned, at the age of 13. Babyface made me start writing love poetry (eww) and made me want to become a songwriter. To this day, I still have a book of songs I wrote, without even knowing the craft of music. Too bad Babyface turned into a tool. That still doesn't change the fact that this is one of the most perfect songs of all time. I've had a guitar since I was 19 but I haven't dedicated myself to the craft because all of life's idiotic distractions - like work. This will be one of the ten songs I will master before I die.

Can We Teach Each Other - Cody ChesnuTT
Over the shoulder, education in the bedroom. Life gets no better.

A Man / Me / Then Jim - Rilo Kiley
I had to throw in one Jenny Lewis / Rilo Kiley song. The guitar, and the congo drums that come in later, whisk me away somewhere nice, with straw huts and waves, no complications and everything is free, including the food and alcohol.

Glory Box - Portishead
This song just oozes sex. Whips, roses, chocolate, red wine, halogen lighting, stainless steel counters, marble tiling, a metropolitan skyline view. No condom.

Breathe Me - Sia
Nowadays I can't separate this song from that scene in "Six Feet Under" and you'll know what I'm talking about if you're a follower of the show. I can't think of anything more romantic than lounging out on some decent chair, this song in the background, with the woman I love, both of us wrinkled and weathered, and a wealth of shared memories between us. I want this to play at my funeral, and if not, "Another One Bites The Dust." The final installment in the "tell me, kiss me" category.

No Cars Go - Arcade Fire
Ironically, I love blasting this while I'm driving on my xe máy, careening through the frenzy that is Hà Nội traffic, dodging death at the swivel of a moment. When I first got hold of their first album, "Funeral," I was at the mercy of AC Transit and Muni buses - their fares and rigid schedules which had me waiting at bus-stops like I was Waiting for Godot or free sex. Now, I am a follower of the "Neon Bible" (no religion), free from the old and dust, with nowhere to go, free from waiting, which is fine by me. The idea of heading to a place that I'll never want to leave, that'll have everything in walking distance, is always exciting, There was life before technology, and goddamn it, there will be life after.

Aganjú? - Bebel Gilberto
There's nothing better than getting lost with someone you don't share a language with, so the both of you have to start over, learn a new language together from square one, somewhere in the world, in this entropic paradise. That would be nice.

Vietlish Jokes

2007-05-29T02:00:00.000+07:00

Didn't mean for my odor to let everyone down.

These are hand-me down jokes, handed down to me by Caryn, this fun-loving Việt Kiều girl who was studying aboard here back in the fall.

So this guy is taking his girlfriend to a local food vendor. He asks: "hey baby, you hungry?"

She says "no."

Thank you, thank you. And now, for the next joke.

So the same guy brings his girlfriend to a local shoe vendor. He asks: "hey baby, you like these shoes?"

She says "dép."

We'll be here all night folks.

Tiếng Việt 101: Dear Diary 05292007

2007-05-29T01:22:00.000+07:00

Tần số ăn thịt người

Tần số thủ dâm

Tần số
100%
Luôn luôn (lúc nào cũng)
75%
Thường xuyên
50%
Thỉ[nh] thoả[ng] (bắc)
Đôi khi (nam)
10%
~~Bất thường~~ Ít khi
Hiến khi
0%
Không bao giờ

Lúc nào cũng nhớ nhà bên kia (ở Mỹ) vì bạn và gia đinh còn sống ở đó. Thường xuyên kẽt bạn ở đây nhưng không bằng bạn bên kia - bạn bên kia giống gia đình vì mình chơi, ăn, uống, sống cùng nhau - mình đã biết nhau cả cuộc đời. Thỉnh thoảng, thời gian quan trọng hơn máu. ~~Bất thường~~ Ít khi biết đủ. Không bao giờ yêu ai.

Thông's Return to Theatre

2007-05-17T10:59:00.000+07:00

It's been a while since I've dabbled in theatre but my job commissioned me to write and direct a piece, for some Việtnamese students, throwing an English night at their university. Huzzah!

Initially, I thought it would be a huge, frustrating challenge, the language barrier and all, but it turned out to be one of my better experiences in theatre. In fact, it was funner than directing a bunch of fluent Berkeley college students.

I did make a mistake though - writing a piece without considering a Việtnamese student's lexicon. So the first piece, a complete shit sandwich, was scrapped. Instead, in the first rehearsal with the students, I interviewed them to compile a list of all the common lexicon they share. All of the lexicon seems like they studied it out of some intro to English textbook ("Hello, how are you?...I feel happy. I love you.") but the one thing I do not understand and am absolutely intrigued by is where the hell did all Việtnamese students learn to say the word "suitable"? All my students use this word as their equivalent of "good" or "works" ("I think it works" would be "I think it is suitable.") Is it the Việtnamese students linguistical difficulty with aspiring those final-stop consonants ( /d/ and /k/ )? Did Beckham say it in an interview while he had his shirt off?

Well, whatever the answer is, I'm sure it's suitable.

Note, according to my students, 16 used to be the average age of Việtnamese folks getting hitched. Now apparently, it's 26, which they attribute to money-earning power.

ONE WORD

Cast:
Phuong - Hoa's mother
Huong - Bông's mother
Hoa - Phuong's son
Bông - Huong's daughter

[ When Hoa and Bông are babies ]

Hoa: Papa.

Bông: Mama.

Phuong: Huong.

Huong: Yes?

Phuong: I think my baby Hoa should marry your baby Bông.

Hoa: Papa.

Bông: Mama.

Huong: Really? Why?

Phuong: Because...

Huong: Because?

Phuong: Because, Hoa, Bông, Hoa, Bông, my Hoa and your Bông are two flowers.

Huong: Your baby Hoa cannot even say "mama."

Hoa: Papa.

Bông: Mama.

Phuong: Sometimes, I am mama, sometimes I am papa.

Hoa: Papa.

Huong: Also, they are just babies.

Hoa: Papa.

Bông: Mama.

Phuong: Huong.

Huong: Phuong.

Phuong: The sooner, the better.

Huong: You are crazy.

[ When Hoa and Bông are 16 years old ]

Bông: Today, the war in Iran begins.

Hoa: Papa.

Huong: Phuong, why does your boy Hoa only know how to say "papa"?

Phuong: English classes are too expensive.

Hoa: Papa.

Huong: I know. But look at my daughter. She doesn't take English classes. She studies English by watching only the BBC.

Bông: In other news, President Oprah is caught cheating on her husband.

Huong: See, so good.

Phuong: But look at my boy Hoa. He only knows one word, but he is very good at saying it.

Hoa: Papa.

Phuong: Very good. Step-by-step, day-by-day.

Huong: So sad.

Phuong: So happy.

Bông: And finally, divorce is at an all-time low. Married people are finally happy!

Huong: I'm sorry Phuong.

Phuong: Sorry? Sorry about what?

Huong: Your son Hoa is not suitable for my daughter Bông.

Phuong: Are you kidding me?

Huong: I am sorry Phuong.

Phuong: But my son Hoa will speak English one day. He will blossom and become the most handsome Hoa and he will be the best speaker of English. Come on Hoa, say something.

Hoa: S...s...s...

Phuong: Yes Hoa, you can do it!

Hoa: Su...su...su

Huong: Oh, wow.

Bông: This just in...

Hoa: Su...su...PAPA!

[ Phuong cries ]

[ When Hoa and Bông are 26 years old ]

Hoa: Papa, Papa, Papa.

[ Phuong is crying ]

Phuong: Why? Why? Why?

Huong: Don't worry about it so much Phuong.

Phuong: What do you mean? All he says is Papa! All day! Everyday! Every night!

Hoa: Papa.

[ Phuong is crying ]

Bông: Even if he can only say one word, it's okay. I will still be his friend. Right Hoa, we're friends.

Hoa: Papa.

Bông: That's right. Papa.

Phuong: I am going to go to sleep.

Huong: Me too. I'm sorry Phuong. Hoa is not suitable.

Bông: But that's okay mom. I will find someone to love one day.

Phuong: Good night Huong. Good night Bông. Good night my son Hoa. I love you.

[ Phuong, Huong and Bông go to bed ]

Hoa: There is so much I want to say to you mom. It's only when you cannot hear me is when I can say it. Huong, I am sorry I am not suitable for your beautiful daughter Bông. She is really beautiful. And Bông. One day, we will be suitable for each other. We will fall in love and life will be easy. I will walk everywhere with you and eat everything you cook. One day, we will find one word that only you and me will know. And we will never tell anybody that word. I love you Bông. I love you. Papa. Papa. Papa...........!!!

END